No Boundaries
by heavenhelpmyheart
Summary: Blaine isn't as much of a gentleman as Kurt thinks. Could Puck, thick-headed and badass as he is, be the person to piece him back together after his first broken heart?
1. Could've Been

**A/N: I'm feeling horribly sick and possibly have strep throat, so hopefully I'll get a lot of writing in. This just came to me. It will be chaptered, but probably not very long. I'm not entirely sure. Takes place after Born This Way, but becomes completely AU. This will be Puckurt, with some (not going anywhere) Klaine in the beginning, and a lot of Kinn (I refuse to say Furt) brotherly love.**

**Slight, **_slight,_ slight** smut in the beginning. Kurt/Blaine smut, very easily avoided.**

* * *

><p>"So," Santana started, "have you and Blaine..?" She left the sentence unfinished, but, by the gesture she made, it was obvious what she meant.<p>

"No, we haven't." Kurt blushed. It wasn't that they hadn't done anything, per se, they had actually done quite a bit, they just hadn't gone all the way yet.

"You're not ready." It wasn't a question.

"No. I mean, I-I love him," Kurt had never told any of his girls, even Mercedes, that he did, and Santana looked shocked, "and I do want.. him to be my first. I'm just not ready." The response Kurt expected from Santana was 'how damn long does it take to be ready if you're 'in love' with him?' He would never have been able to predict her answer.

"That's fine, and... I probably don't have to say this for your 'dapper Dalton gentlemen' but guys can be pigs sometimes, so just in case, you should _never_ let him push you into doing things you aren't ready for, especially that. 'Kay?" Kurt must have been gaping at her rather unattractively, but since when was Santana _sensitive_ and not completely sex-oriented?

"I... Who was your first time with?" Santana was known for being such a slut that she had given it up when she was thirteen, but Kurt didn't believe that.

"You've met Britt's older brother, right?" Brittany had an older brother and sister who were both incredibly bright and nice. Her sister was in college, but her brother was just a year older, a senior at Lima Vo-Tech.

"Aaron?" Santana nodded.

"He was my first, when I was fourteen. It was kind of stupid to do it with him, but I don't regret it. He's a lot nicer, and was a lot sweeter, than plenty of guys I've been with since." That also made Kurt wonder.

"How.. have you..?" Articulating questions like that was not his strongest suit.

"How many guys have I been with? A lot, probably more than your virgin brain can handle," Santana was just teasing. "Way too many," she added under her breath at the end.

"Do you regret it.. them?"

"Some of them I do, some I don't. I don't regret sleeping, on multiple occasions, with Puck. He's probably my best friend, besides Britt. But the faceless, nameless ones? I regret them." This was the first time Kurt had ever had a serious conversation with Santana, and he was surprised by how articulate and mature she was when she wasn't being a raving bitch. "And that's privileged information, got it Hummel?"

"Of course, Sanny."

* * *

><p>A very similar, but much more frustrated, conversation was happening two hours away in the dorm shared by Wes and David.<p>

"I can't believe you two haven't screwed yet," Wes was completely different outside of Warbler's rehearsals, more like a normal human.

"Me either. Like he says 'I love you,' and I love him too, mostly, but nothing!" Blaine was probably being overly dramatic about the issue, but he was too frustrated to care. He continued pacing around the small, permanently messy room as David and Wes stared at him from their respective beds.

"What was that adjective? 'mostly?' Please don't tell me you said it back if you don't feel the same." David groaned at Blaine's lack of answer.

"First of all, I'm pretty sure the way he just used mostly makes it an adverb. Second, you are an absolute idiot," Wes was less-than-supportive.

"I do love him. He's just so frustrating sometimes!" Blaine plopped down beside David.

"Which just means you're horny and he's not putting out?" Wes asked, amused.

"Pretty much."

* * *

><p>It was the first time this week Kurt and Blaine had a chance to be alone with each other. As usual, Blaine had taken him out for a romantic dinner, and they were now back at Kurt's house, which was unusually empty. Blaine planned to take advantage of it.<p>

"Oh, g-god, Blaine." Technically, Kurt didn't believe in God, but at this point he honestly didn't care. Blaine was entirely deep-throating him, and it felt _amazing._ "So close." Kurt froze when he felt Blaine's hand slide down lower, lightly brushing his perineum.

"B-Blaine, stop." To his credit, Blaine did stop and pulled off.

"What?" He sounded annoyed.

"I'm not ready." It was the first time he actually had to say that to Blaine, because he had never pushed before.

"Why the hell not?" Now, he sounded really irritated, and Kurt thought that was a little unfair. They had been dating for less than two months.

"I'm just not, okay?" Kurt tried to keep his tone neutral, but tendrils of anger slipped into the question unbidden.

"No, it's not okay!" Blaine was yelling now, and it completely shocked Kurt. His perfectly-collected-and-always-calm-with-a-happy-smile boyfriend was_ yelling_ at him for not being ready. "Either you want to be with me, completely, or you don't at all." That wasn't much of a choice.

"That's not fair. I said I'm not ready and you need to respect that."

"Yes or no?" Apparently, Blaine had lost all ability to be rational.

"Blaine, I-" Kurt hadn't even finished his sentence before Blaine was pulling his clothes back on from where they were scattered around the room. "Where are you going?" He demanded.

"Home. We're over." Kurt felt his heart shatter into a billion pieces with those three words.

"Blaine, baby, wait! I-I'm sorry, I just.." but Blaine wasn't waiting for an explanation.

"Don't 'Blaine, baby' me. We're over, Kurt." With that, he left, and all Kurt felt like doing was curling into a ball to cry. Thankfully, his common sense took over his motor skills, and he put his clothes back on, uncaring of the wrinkles, before slipping under his sheets.

* * *

><p>Finn was the one who found him sobbing brokenly in his bed a few hours later. Later, Kurt would think he really was a good brother, but he was too devastated to care at the time. Finn just climbed into his bed, probably extremely uncomfortable, but wanting to help Kurt, and wrapped his arms around him. Tired of being strong for everyone, Kurt just cried into his shirt. It really was an awful colored shirt anyway, so he didn't feel bad for getting snot all over it.<p>

It took a long time for Kurt to calm down. Heartbroken was just an expression, but Kurt literally felt a deep pain in his chest like someone had ripped off a piece of his heart and taken it with them. He suspected that person was Blaine.

Finn had been humming softly for a while, nonsensical melodies that either were songs Kurt was unfamiliar with, or things Finn was making up on the spot. Even so, when Kurt shakily asked "Sing to me?" not sure if he was over-stepping a line, Finn had the perfect song. Finn wasn't always the brightest person, but his compassion for others well made up for it.

_Oh, why you look so sad?_  
><em>Tears are in your eyes<em>  
><em>Come on and come to me now<em>

_Don't be ashamed to cry_  
><em>Let me see you through<em>  
><em>'cause I've seen the dark side too<em>

_When the night falls on you_  
><em>You don't know what to do<em>  
><em>Nothing you confess<em>  
><em>Could make me love you less<em>

_I'll stand by you_  
><em>I'll stand by you<em>  
><em>Won't let nobody hurt you<em>  
><em>I'll stand by you<em>

_So if you're mad, get mad_  
><em>Don't hold it all inside<em>  
><em>Come on and talk to me now<em>

_Hey, what you got to hide?_  
><em>I get angry too<em>  
><em>Well I'm a lot like you<em>

_When you're standing at the crossroads_  
><em>Don't know which path to choose<em>  
><em>Let me come along<em>  
><em>'cause even if you're wrong<em>

_I'll stand by you_  
><em>I'll stand by you<em>  
><em>Won't let nobody hurt you<em>  
><em>I'll stand by you<em>  
><em>Take me in into your darkest hour<em>  
><em>And I'll never desert you<em>  
><em>I'll stand by you<em>

_And when..._  
><em>When the night falls on you, baby<em>  
><em>You're feeling all alone<em>  
><em>You won't be on your own<em>

_I'll stand by you_  
><em>I'll stand by you<em>  
><em>Won't let nobody hurt you<em>

_I'll stand by you_  
><em>Take me in, into your darkest hour<em>  
><em>And I'll never desert you<em>  
><em>I'll stand by you<em>  
><em>I'll stand by you<em>  
><em>Won't let nobody hurt you<em>  
><em>I'll stand by you<em>  
><em>and I'll never desert you<em>  
><em>I'll stand by you<em>  
><em>I'll stand by you<em>  
><em>Won't let nobody hurt you<em>  
><em>I'll stand by you<em>

_I'll stand by you_

It wasn't the best performance Finn had ever done, but it sounded good, it made Kurt think of happier times and feel better, and it was enough that Kurt fell asleep in his arms before the end of it.

* * *

><p>His dreams, unfortunately, were not as nice to him as Finn. They were filled with memories of Blaine, good ones, and interspersed by the replay of what had just happened.<p>

An moment of singing Silly Love Songs at the Valentine's Day Lonely Hearts Club Dinner, which Blaine occasionally jokingly called 'the first time I told you I loved you,' followed by Blaine's face twisted with anger as he yelled at Kurt. It seemed like they were two entirely different people. The Blaine that serenaded him with Teenage Dream (and Wes had informed him it _was_ a serenade, Blaine made them change the song and everything. How he had done this, Kurt had no idea) and the Blaine that broke up with him a few hours ago. He much preferred the Blaine who knew his coffee order and got ridiculous crushes on guy's with '70s hairstyles and wore sweaters with awkwardly-placed buttons to the Blaine that pressured him to have sex.

It was almost ironic, what had happened with Blaine today, and what happened only the week before they got together. _That_ Blaine had been so sweet and understanding about his lack of experience and offered to help explain things to him. Kurt hoped that maybe the Blaine who kissed him over Pavarotti's casket would return. Maybe he was just frustrated. One of the things the two had in common was their dramatic tendencies to over-react.

* * *

><p>Finn was uncertain, for many reasons. One, he was currently holding his gay little brother, who had fallen asleep. The first thing he thought of was one of those LGBT commercials Rachel had shown him about the different people, the non-gay people, who homophobia effected. The quote was something like 'I am the sister who holds her gay brother through the long, tear-filled nights.' Scarily accurate. Kurt had certainly cried a lot, and seemed to be crying a little bit now, even in his sleep.<p>

Part of Finn thought the situation was a little weird, and wanted to leave. Another part of Finn thought weird was okay because Kurt had been really upset, and wanted to stay. Finn wasn't sure which part of him was smarter. Would it be more awkward if he stayed or went?

Second, what the hell had happened? Kurt had been a little inco... inca... he couldn't really form a sentence that made sense. Something with Blaine, obviously, as they had been out on a date that night, but he had no idea what it could be. The two were ridiculously mushy, and said they were in love all the time. What went wrong?

* * *

><p>When Kurt had woken up, which wasn't until the next morning, he had awkwardly stuttered apologies and then fled to the shower. Finn could almost hear him singing (his room was well sound-proofed), and the melody sounded pretty depressing. Finn hadn't gotten a lot of sleep, possibly because he spent the entire night with a murmuring Kurt, and possibly because ideas of what happened were buzzing around his brain too fast to let him fall asleep. He felt a bit like a zombie.<p>

Puck was on his way over, but Finn didn't really care what he looked like to Puck. What he worried about was Kurt's reaction to Puck's presence. After football championships, he and Puck had been hanging out more like they used to, but Kurt was at Dalton then. Judging by last night, he wasn't going to be in a great mood, no matter how much coffee he drank. Most likely, he would be either extremely angry, like fire-breathing-burn-down-the-house-and-kill-Puck angry, or extremely depressed. Finn wasn't sure which one would be worse.

"Hey, dude." Puck let himself in and sat in the chair next to him.

"Hey," Finn responded, still worrying.

"You look like hell. What's up?" That was Puck's way of saying he cared, Finn guessed.

"If I knew, I would tell you." Possibly not a true statement.

"How can you not know what's bothering you?" Puck would, hopefully, understand the need to take care of a little sibling. Either that, or he was just about to be called gay in a million ways.

"Didn't get a lot of sleep last night, Kurt was talking."

"Wait, you slept with Hummel? Dude, what the hell?"

"I didn't sleep with my little bro, Puck, that's gross. He was all upset because of something that happened with Blaine, and I was comforting him, and he kind of fell asleep on me. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to leave or not, so I just stayed with him," Finn blurted out the explanation quickly.

"What happened with he and Blaine?" Apparently, Kurt had become Finn's little brother in Puck's eyes, so spending the night with him was non-gay. Sometimes he wondered how Puck's mind worked, but he probably didn't want to know.

"That's what I don't know."

"Have they.." Puck made a rather rude gesture with his finger and fist.

"Dude! That's gross!" Did Puck seriously expect him to know that?

"Just answer the question, Hudson," Puck said with a roll of his eyes.

"I don't think so. How am I supposed to know?" Why would he know that?

"Maybe he talks to you about this shit, or something. I don't know. But I bet if they haven't, it was about that." Puck's expression hardened. "If that asshole tried anything, I'll fuck him up."

"Why?" Puck looked at him like he was making no sense. "No, I mean I'd be there with you, but why would you defend Kurt?" Puck didn't even _like_ Kurt.

"You'd defend Sarah. He's your little bro, and I already promised to protect him."

"From Karofsky, not Blaine. Whatever. I'm scared to find out." How could he ask Kurt something like that, especially if the answer was yes?

"Allow me." Puck made to go upstairs.

"Wait, dude, he might not even like that you're here."

"Fine. I can wait."

* * *

><p>Kurt felt awful. Not only were there traces of mascara and the sticky residue of tears all over his face, but he hadn't slept well, and it still felt like he was missing a piece of his heart. Feeling the hot water beat over his back, he started to sing.<p>

_The flowers you gave me  
>are just about to die<br>when I think about  
>what could've been<br>it makes me want to cry_

_The sweet words you whispered  
>didn't mean a thing<br>I guess our song is over  
>as we begin to sing<em>

_Could've been so beautiful  
>could've been so right<br>could've been my lover  
>every day of my life<em>

_could've been so beautiful  
>could've been so right<br>I'll never hold what could've been  
>on a cold and lonely night<em>

_The members of our lovin'  
>still linger in the air<br>like the faded scent of your roses  
>they stay with me everywhere<em>

_Every time I get my hopes up  
>they always seem to fall<br>still what could've been is better than  
>what could never be at all<em>

_Could've been so beautiful  
>could've been so right<br>could've been my lover  
>every day of my life<em>

_could've been so beautiful  
>could've been so right<br>I'll never hold what could've been  
>on a cold and lonely night<em>

_How could I hold what could've been  
>on a cold and lonely night?<em>

The song fit well, though Tiffany wasn't one of his favorite artists. They were young and in love and everything could have been so perfect. Tears started to track again down his cheeks. Hadn't he cried enough for a lifetime? _No more tears,_ he promised himself mentally, knowing that he couldn't keep it. Blaine had been his everything when he needed someone the most, and now he was gone.

* * *

><p>When Kurt padded down the stairs, hair half-combed and messy, wearing a loose McKinley High shirt and <em>sweat pants<em>, he almost shrieked when he saw they had company. There was no way anyone could mistake the mohawk. Noah Puckerman was standing completely at ease in their kitchen. Kurt had clearly missed a lot while he was at Dalton. The sharp pain in his heart when he thought that made it seem like a good idea to _not_ think about any memories related to his ex.

"Good morning, Finn," he said, slightly shy. It had been a little awkward waking up in Finn's arms, despite how many times he had dreamed of exactly that. "Puckerman."

"Well, someone's in a good mood," Puck said sarcastically. "What's up your ass, Hummel, besides Blaine's cock?" Finn's expression when he said that was almost worth the painful memory it brought.

"I can see how girls fall in bed with you. Are you always such a charmer?" Food didn't seem to be worth the effort, but if he became one of those people that fell apart, lost weight, and failed classes when he was broken up with, Mercedes would never forgive him. Yogurt seemed to be a good idea, except for the fact that Puck was leaning against the refrigerator.

"Ouch." Puck didn't even bother with a comeback. Turning to Finn, who was still a little nauseous-looking, he said, "I've missed those sharp comments. Even Santana's not as much of a bitch as your little bro is in the morning."

"Never say that in front of Santana." His face would be mince meat if he did. "Could you move from in front of the refrigerator?"

"Didn't your mother ever teach you how to say please?" Puck said without thinking. _Shit._ Kurt looked even less happy.

"Puckerman, move _now._" Puck listened, if only because he knew he would be torn to pieces if he didn't. Kurt pulled out a yogurt and moved to the living room, clearly trying to ignore the two in the kitchen. Puck was determined otherwise.

"So, seriously, what's up?" Puck could make an _attempt_ to be nice to the boy.

"If it was any of your business, I would have told you." Kurt's voice was clipped and cold.

"Well, I'd say it's kind of my business, considering that you're practically my little bro too," the horrified look Kurt gave him made him want to laugh, but it would ruin the speech," and it's definitely Finn's business."

"I am _not_ by any means your little brother, and Finn certainly doesn't want to hear it, as concerned as he may be."

"So it is then?" Puck sat down on the couch next to Kurt and stared at him expectantly.

"So what is what?" Puck's question didn't make any sense, as usual.

"Whatever happened between you and Blaine is about sex," Kurt's expression made him think he had gotten that one right, "that would be the only reason I could think of that Finn wouldn't want to hear it."

"I've said this before, and I'm sure that due to your thick-brained persistance, I will have to say this again, it is none of your business, Puckerman."

"But I'm right." Puck smirked at the obviously flustered countertenor.

"Perhaps." Kurt blushed slightly.

"Well, as you probaby know, I'm good with boyfriend problems, I'm usually the cause of them," sometimes talking to Kurt felt exactly like talking to Rachel, so Puck unintentionally mirrored his words to her, "so what's wrong?" _If he tried anything, I'm going to kill him,_ he added mentally, but he had a feeling Kurt wouldn't like the thought.

"Well you don't have to worry Puckerman, because he's not my boyfriend anymore." That was _not_ what Puck wanted to hear.

"If he tried anything, I'm going to fuck him up," Puck promised.

"Although he is not quite the man I thought he was, he is certainly not enough of a barbarian to have tried.. anything of that nature, especially after-" Kurt cut that thought short. "Don't worry, Puck, he broke up with me." Kurt had to resist the urge to cry after saying that. _No more tears._

"Especially after?" Kurt's eyes looked a little wet, so it probably wasn't best to ask more questions, but since when had Puck made the best decisions?

"That's definitely none of your, or Finn's," he directed towards the boy in the kitchen who was obviously listening, "business."

"Fine. Don't tell me. Instead, tell me why he broke up with you." Kurt ignored him for a few minutes, finishing his yogurt and staring at the blank TV screen. Puck didn't push though. Kurt was amazingly good at disguising his feelings, and he had to be hurting right about now, so pushing him didn't seem like the best idea.

"Because I wouldn't put out for him," Kurt murmured under his breath, picking up his empty yogurt container and moving to put it into the kitchen trash.

"What was that?" Now Puck was pushing a little, but he didn't hear that, honest!

"He broke up with me," Kurt began at a louder volume, "because I wouldn't put out for him." _Oh shit._ Puck had obviously started the waterworks again. "Excuse me," Kurt whispered before racing back up the stairs.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So this chapter has a lot of short sections, and I apologize, but I'm really just setting everything up. I like songs, and this **_**is**_** Glee, so there will probably be at least one song per chapter. :)**

**Songs used in this chapter:**

_'I'll Stand By You' _by The Pretenders

_'Could've Been'_ by Tiffany.

**Reviews are Love.**


	2. Denial

**A/N: I'm super excited to do a story where I can warp canon. Either I follow it for the most part, or ignore it completely in most of my stories. Now, I get to play with it. I can use songs, or general storylines, but I can make other people sing what I think they should, or ignore parts Glee did. Yay!**

* * *

><p>"Nice going, dude," Finn said once Kurt had run away.<p>

"Shut up, I didn't mean to. I'll be right back." Puck started once again up the stairs.

"Dude, maybe it's not a good-" but Puck ignored Finn, tramping up the staircase, knowing Kurt's was one of the first doors from the tour of the house Finn had given him.

Puck knocked on Kurt's door. "Dude, let me in."

"Go away Puckerman." It sounded like Kurt was crying. _Shit._

"Look, I'm sorry. You're upset, I shouldn't have pushed."

"I think I liked you better when you threw me in dumpsters. Don't you know the meaning of _go away_?" Kurt was definitely crying.

"What if I'm trying to make it up to you?" It was true, he had been horrible to Kurt in the past, and he kind of owed it to him. Finn would be too freaked or grossed out to help Kurt. He really needed to work on that.

"Why would you do that?" Valid question.

"Because you're kind of a badass, dude." Well, it was true, Kurt had put up with so much shit from them in the past, but he still acted like he was completely superior and nothing touched him. Or he had before he went to Dalton, he was.. warmer now. Puck just wasn't sure that was a good thing.

"Really?" That sounded less like disbelief that he was, and more like disbelief that Puck thought so.

"Well, not like me. More like... I don't know, dude. You put up with all this shit and come to school with that damn smirk on your face. It's like you _know_ that you're better than everyone and everything in this damn town, and that's what I used to hate about you. So I wanted to knock you down a few pegs, but it never worked." Kurt was silent, so Puck continued.

"You should be totally bitter and angry and like hate life, but you go and do all these awesome things for people anyway. Why do you think I agreed to help you with that Barbra-vention thing? It was because I realized that you really cared about Rachel, no matter how much you hate her too." To Puck's surprise, the door opened slowly.

"T-Thank you," Kurt said quietly. His eyes were red and puffy, and there were tear tracks down his face. "To be honest, I don't hate you. I should, but I don't. After what you tried to do for Quinn," that hurt but Puck didn't show it, "even though she didn't let you help, it really showed me that you're not a bad person." After a pause, he added, "Y-You can come in if you want," and moved away from the door.

The first thing Puck noticed about Kurt's room was that it was neat. Not obsessively neat, as Puck would have expected, and not as pristinely white as his basement had been. His walls were white, but the lamp by the door was red, and it matched his bed, which was red and brown.

Puck just hovered uncertainly by the door, while Kurt sat on the foot of his bed. "He's an asshole, you know that?" Now, Puck had done a lot of things to girl that could be considered bad, but he never let anyone think they meant more to him than they did. Obviously, Blaine had done exactly that to Kurt.

"No, h-he's a sweet guy, he was j-just frustrated. B-Blaine will be back, and apologetic, m-more like the Blaine I first met at Dalton. I know it." Kurt seemed to be holding onto the vain hope that horny guys did stupid shit. While that was true, Puck had a feeling that Blaine wouldn't be back, that he'd find someone else.

"So you'd take him back? After that?" Puck was furious, and he wasn't sure why. The overwhelming need to protect the vulnerable boy in front of him scared him a bit, not that he'd ever admit that.

"It's not like he h-hurt me, Noah, he just left. He'll be back though." Kurt sounded so _hopeful_, looking up at him with those wide, innocent eyes. He still thought Blaine was a good guy.

"Not physically," he said, not bothering to hide his thought from the smaller boy. "If I were you, the moment he was back, I'd knee him in the balls and tell him to go fuck himself. If he says he loves you, and he can't fuckin' wait, than he's just an asshole looking to get in your pants." Blunt, but true.

"It.. I love him, though." Tears were dripping down Kurt's face, and he refused to meet Puck's eyes.

"Why?" Kurt looked up at him now, face and eyes still wet, but shocked-looking. "Why do you love him?"

"I don't want to talk to you about this," Kurt said defensively.

"Just tell me why, and I'll never bug you again."

"That's what I told you to tell Rachel, it's not going to work on me," but Kurt was smiling, if shakily, and that was the idea. "If you really want to know, I love him because... he's sweet and funny, and he's probably the only person that listens to everything I say and actually cares. He's been hurt before, but he's so strong, and confident, and he's always happy and smiling. He's a positive person. He can deal with the worst of my diva moods, and me without coffee, and make me smile and calm down and feel better. He's the only person whose ever looked at me like I'm something precious. I-I could list a million things. I just... love him."

"I get that, I guess." Puck did _not_ want to get personal with the little fairy, but he sounded like he was about to jump off a bridge. "I mean, I loved my dad, and he left when I was six. It... it would be so much better if he were dead." Kurt flinched at that, obviously thinking of his mom. "That would mean it wasn't his choice. He just wanted to be the badass, and didn't care enough about me and Sarah to stay."

Puck decided to sit down on the bed with Kurt. If he was going to bare his soul to the gayest person in Ohio, at least he could be comfortable. "I loved Quinn, even though she hated... hates me. I've hurt her, but at least I never meant to. She hurt me on purpose, to try and make me leave her and.. Beth." It was one of the few times he had ever said his daughter's name.

"Why are you telling me this? You don't care, or you shouldn't. Why can't you just leave me alone?" Obviously, Kurt was very defensive when he was upset, and was acting rather like a trapped animal at the moment. Puck, who was occasionally good at making decisions, backed off.

"Alright, I can tell when I'm not wanted. Just don't jump off a bridge, 'kay Hummel?" It sounded like a joke, but Puck meant it.

"What a horribly un-fabulous way to die," Kurt responded quietly from where he was picking out clothes from his closet.

* * *

><p>"I'm so sorry, bo," Mercedes hugged him. They were waiting for Mr. Schue to arrive in the choir room, and the girls, dragging Kurt along, had gravitated to one side of the room, while the boys were on the other. Finn kept looking over at him worriedly though, as did Puck, to his surprise.<p>

"I'm.. I'm okay, Merce, really." Kurt felt horrible lying to his best friend, but how could he explain to someone who'd never been in a real relationship that it felt like Blaine had taken a piece of his heart with him?

"Come here," Rachel hugged him as well, and then it was a game of pass-around-Kurt. He didn't mind though, knowing that his girls only hugged him because they cared. Santana didn't hug him, which wasn't terribly shocking, but only because she seemed distracted.

Before Kurt could ask what was wrong, Mr. Schue came in the room, followed by April Rhodes, and the club split back into couples seating. Kurt slid down in his seat slightly, remembering how misfortune seemed to follow him whenever she was around.

"You guys have been a horrible team lately. You're breaking apart, with all the whispering, backstabbing, and love triangles that have been going on, only fueled by Sue's muckrakers. April here reminded me of a similar situation in musical history. Fleetwood Mac, and their album Rumours. So, your assignment for this week is to do a number exclusively from that album. It'll be a great lesson. Fleetwood Mac took all their drama and didn't let it break them apart, but put it too good use and wrote incredible music. April and I will give you a little demonstration with _Dreams."_

Here goes Mr. Schue with the examples. At least April's outfit was fabulous, if a bit plain. Kurt had ended up between Fuinn, who were annoying cute, and Lauren, who had actually, to his surprise, hugged him earlier. The performance was good, but the line that really struck Kurt was '_Players only love you when they're playing.'_ Was that true of Blaine? Had he only said that to get into Kurt's pants, like Puck had said? Puck was sitting in the back row, but Kurt could feel his eyes boring into his head.

After they had finished, Mr. Schue added, "Take a song from the album, put your own spin on it," before he dismissed them. Rachel immediately had her iPod in her hand, but no one else looked to concerned about the assignment.

Kurt made a mental note to bring Sam the old clothes of his he had gathered a few days ago, then sat back. He didn't want to go home yet, it would be empty until Finn got there. His dad had trusted him to stay alone for a few days, with the promise that he wouldn't have Blaine over. He had broken that trust, but it didn't matter now.

Kurt felt more than heard when Puck slid into the chair next to him. "Hey, Hummel." Everyone was gaping at him for sitting next to Kurt, but Puck didn't give a damn about people.

"What can I do for you, Puckerman?" 'Can you not take a hint' is what he wanted to ask. Kurt did _not_ want to talk to Puck, the silly things he had revealed in his bedroom regardless, but he would always be polite.

"What song are you doing for the assignment?" Maybe Puck wouldn't pry after all.

"Though I know the cultural impact of Fleetwood Mac and the drama within the band, I don't know their catalog well. A few songs, but not enough to make my final decision." Actually, he knew the perfect song he could sing, but he wouldn't sing it for the glee club.

"I was thinking about _Gold Dust Woman_," Puck said. "You know that one?"

"Yes, I just never understood what it was about." It sounded like she was on something when she wrote it, honestly.

After a few moments of awkward silence, Puck asked, "Have you talked to Blaine recently?" Of course Puck was going to pry, it was silly to even entertain the idea that he wouldn't.

"Despite what we talked about in my bedroom, it's really none of your business. Thank you for your concern, but I don't need it." He needed someone, but that someone couldn't be Puck. Who he really needed was Blaine. Kurt picked up his bag and began to walk away.

"Everyone needs someone, Hummel," Puck called after the retreating boy.

* * *

><p>"Hey," Quinn greeted her boyfriend at the door with a kiss. Burt and Carole were away for the day, but it didn't seem right taking advantage of that with Kurt in the house, and her mom was home. "I need to talk to Kurt." Quinn pushed past her boyfriend and headed up to the countertenor's room, ignoring her boyfriend's confused 'hey!'<p>

"Kurt?" She called hesitantly. Kurt's door was closed, but it usually was. He was a very private person. She could hear strains of music, but she didn't recognize the song, which wasn't that unusual.

"Come in, Q." Everyone had respected her wishes, and continued to call her Quinn, even though they knew her real name now.

Opening Kurt's door, and seeing him lying on his stomach, upside down on his bed, with a magazine, she said "Can we talk?"

"If you want to talk about the last Glee, Puck, or Blaine, the answer is no. If you want to talk about anything else, of course." Kurt seemed very closed off, but he did that when he was hurting.

"Puck was right," she ignored Kurt's answer. "Everyone needs someone, even you." Hopefully, she was not about to be hit by Hurricane Hummel.

"I have someone, _multiple_ someones, I don't need Puck." His tone said 'end of discussion.'

"Blaine was your someone. It seems to me that you need a new one." Perhaps mentioning Blaine's name wasn't her brightest idea.

"I was _not_ entirely dependent on Blaine, thank you very much, Quinn! I am_ perfectly_ fine to handle this on my own. I am _not _a child, and all of you girls need to stop treating me like one. I am _perfectly _capable of dealing with my first break-up, I can handle it, I'm not some fragile flower! You don't need to treat me like I'm a _girl_!" Clearly, she had hit a nerve.

"Well, that was slightly misogynistic of you." Kurt was silent. "I'm not trying to treat you like a girl, I know you're not one. You are sensitive, though, and this break-up was hard on you, I can tell." Quinn moved to sit next to him, instead of awkwardly hovering in the doorway.

"Who says I need Puck?" At least he wasn't in denial anymore.

"I know I'm the person you would expect to support Puck the least, after everything that happened last year, but Puck's a sweet guy. He actually really cares about people, and he's sensitive too, as much as he denies it. 'Badass' he may be, but only because he's been hurt, and he doesn't risk letting people in. If he's opening up to you, you're really lucky, because the only time he's really opened up to me was when he sang _Beth._" _and when he told me he loved me,_ she added mentally, but no one knew about that.

"Why is he opening up to me?" Kurt sounded confused, and he leaned his head against Quinn's leg.

"I don't know. Only he can tell you that. Just... give him a chance, okay?" Kurt nodded, and Quinn left.

* * *

><p>Puck slammed his locker shut, making all the losers in the hallway jump. He wasn't really angry, more frustrated. He had no God damn idea why he wanted to help Hummel. School rules say he should hate him, and be resisting the urge to toss him in a dumpster whenever he saw him. But he didn't. For one, he was Finn's little bro, and he would beat the shit out of Finn if he were ever to hurt Sarah. For another, he just didn't. The boy was hurting, and Puck wanted to help, even if Hummel didn't want his help. Puck banged his fist against his locker, which he actually did quite regularly, and would have gone and trashed a dweeb if it weren't for a soft voice.<p>

"Can we talk? Alone?" _Quinn_. The mother of his baby, and the first girl he had ever loved.

"Go away, Lucy." That was cruel, but the last thing he needed to do was talk.

"I'm not going to go away. Either we can talk in the choir room, or we can talk here, I don't care. You'd rather it be in the choir room though, unless you want to whole school to know _everything_ by lunch." Damn, she could be a bitch.

"Fine." Puck followed the ex-cheerleader, feeling like a puppy at her heels.

When they were in the choir room, Quinn bodily pushed (and when had she gotten so strong?) him into a chair and loomed over him. "Listen well, Puckerman. This is _not_ the time to screw with Kurt, alright? He's hurting, _badly_, and you need to stop confusing him. If he wants your help, help him. If he doesn't, leave him alone! Understand?"

"Yeah." Puck felt like a wuss, but _damn_ Quinn could be scary.

"You care about him, don't you?" This was the Quinn he was used to, the soft Quinn who was compassionate, the one you only saw outside of the Cheerio's uniform.

"I don't have a fuckin' clue why, but yeah." Quinn's eyes softened.

"I'm sorry for how much I've hurt you," where did that come from? "I never meant to. I know it was hard for you, giving Beth away, but I feel like you'd made progress, as a person, that was erased over summer. I miss Noah, the boy who would do anything for his sister, daughter, or the girl carrying her. What I don't understand is why you're dating _Lauren_!" And Bitch Quinn had returned. "She's a horrible person."

"What has she ever done to you?" Everyone questioned why the badass that could have any girl in the school wanted Lauren, but Quinn knew him best.

"Lucy Caboosey ring a bell? You should know, Puck, you helped her." Quinn's voice was accusatory.

"I didn't think she'd bring it public. Look, she can be a little bit of a bitch, but she's awesome." Quinn's eyes looked disappointed, for some reason. Puck would never understand the female mind.

"You could do better, Puck." There was nothing to say to that, and Quinn knew it, so she left the room.

* * *

><p>It was driving Finn a little crazy, to be honest. Since Puck had been over on Sunday, Kurt hadn't spoken a word to him. Kurt was sitting directly across the table from him, ear buds in, and doing Pre-Calc homework. Finn had been staring at his Algebra homework for about twenty minutes, and was no closer to finishing the first problem than he had been when he started.<p>

"Dude, can you help me with this?" Kurt didn't even look up.

"It's factoring, Finn. You just have to figure out how to split it up." Easier said than done, in Finn's opinion.

"What is with you?" Better to be blunt.

"What do you mean?" Kurt _still_ didn't look up.

"You're ignoring me, and you're all quiet and stuff."

"I'm not ignoring you, Finn," Kurt sounded annoyed. "Forgive me for being slightly withdrawn when I'm upset."

"What happened anyway?" Finn figured it was better not to say Blaine's name.

"You don't want to know, Finn, trust me." He probably didn't, but Kurt was his little brother, it was his job.

"I'm not going to freak out." Maybe not true, but whatever. "Promise."

"Yes, you will. Anytime I mention anything about a... physical relationship between Blaine and I, you turn green and change the subject." Kurt flinched slightly when he said Blaine's name.

"He didn't like.. try anything, did he?" Now, Kurt looked up, only to roll his eyes at Finn.

"Try what, exactly?" Kurt knew he was being a bitch, but he needed to make a point.

"Try to.. forceyoutohavesexwithhim." Finn spit out, sure he was bright red.

"Now that wasn't hard, was it?" Kurt asked sarcastically. "No, he didn't."

"Then what did he do to upset you?" Kurt had been absolutely bawling, which wouldn't have happened if Blaine had just randomly said 'we're over' and left.

"I'll say it again, you don't want to know. I don't particularly want to talk about it, either, so can't you just leave it alone?" Finn _needed_ to know.

"Just tell me."

Kurt's annoyance got the best of him. "Fine. He was blowing me," Finn was already turning green, "and he started pushing me to move further, moving his hand lower, and I said no, made him stop. He started yelling at me and made me choose. Either I had to have sex with him right then, or I didn't love him and didn't want to be with him. I didn't answer and he left." Kurt spit the words out bitterly, but he was too annoyed with Finn to be upset.

Finn looked, and felt, like he was going to pass out. Probably annoying Kurt to find out hadn't been a good idea. It's not like he was graphic, but it was still gross. Well, he had said Finn didn't want to know.

"Happy now?" Kurt snapped, before noticing how pale Finn was. "Sorry, that was out of line," he murmured.

"Uh, it's.. fine, dude." Really, Finn was a horrible liar.

Finn wondered, how do you comfort someone who was broken up with over sex, during sex?

* * *

><p>"You don't have to watch this with me, we could watch one of your lame action movies." Cheering Kurt up was the first step to making him happy again, and watching <em>The Phantom of the Opera <em>with him seemed to be a good way to cheer him up.

"Nah, it's cool, dude."

"Don't call me dude," Kurt reminded him with a soft smile.

"Sorry." Kurt put the movie in and curled up on the couch as far away from Finn as he could sit, which wasn't very far.

"Uh, is it seriously in black and white?" Since when do they make black and white DVD's. Kurt just laughed.

"No. This is in 1919, after the bulk of the story takes place. All the flashbacks are in color, and that's most of the movie." Good.

* * *

><p>"What's going on?" <em>Is he going to ask questions through all of the movie?<em>

"This is the inside of an opera house, they're rehearsing. The guys that pulled up to the front are the new owners.

"That girl's really screechy. She sounds like Rachel when she's yelling." Kurt couldn't help but laugh at that.

"Never tell Rachel that, but she acts a bit like her too." Kurt seemed to be in a better mood.

* * *

><p>"This one sounds awesome!"<p>

"Christine is the part originally played by Sarah Brightman. This Christine's not as good, but she still does the song justice." Kurt seemed to know everything about the play.

_Think of me with you silent and resigned  
>Imagine me trying to hard<br>to put you from my mind_

Kurt sang along softly. He sounded better than the actress did.

* * *

><p>"Raoul's kind of a douche, isn't he?"<p>

"Shut up, Finn. This is the title song."

"Why is she following a guy she doesn't know? Is she looking to get murdered?"

"The Phantom's in love with her, he'd never hurt her."

"How does she know that?"

* * *

><p>"That song sounded like a bad attempt to get into her pants."<p>

"Well that's what it was."

"Why'd she pass out?"

"How would you feel if someone had a creepy mannequin of you in a wedding dress? I'd pass out too."

* * *

><p>"That Carlotta chick is really annoying."<p>

"Now you see why she reminds me of a less-talented Rachel."

"Be nice."

"I am physically incapable of being nice to anyone that fashionably challenged."

* * *

><p>"She sounds like a frog."<p>

"Why do you think he said 'perhaps it is you who is the toad'? She's supposed to sound like a toad. My only question is, where can I get the spray he gave her?"

"Holy shit, he just hung a guy!"

"He does that."

"Why?"

"Because he's the Phantom of the Opera, Finn. He's supposed to be scary."

"Well he is."

* * *

><p>"How can she sing and run up the stairs at the same time?"<p>

"She's lip-syncing, Finn."

"Oh. They said the labyrinth line earlier."

"That's the whole point."

"That's a really high note."

* * *

><p>"Isn't it kind of rude to sing that in front of him?"<p>

"Well, it's his fault for creeping on them."

"It's still mean though."

* * *

><p>"Way to disrupt the party, dude."<p>

"Did you seriously just call the Phantom of the Opera dude?"

"Yes. Did he just call him fat?"

"Yes."

* * *

><p>"Why are there so many sad scenes?"<p>

"Because we haven't gotten to the end yet."

"That circus thing was creepy."

"Incredibly so."

"I don't like this song."

"I do. If you listen to the words, they're really sweet."

_To many years, fighting back tears  
>why can't the past just die?<br>Wishing you were somehow here again  
>Knowing we must say goodbye<br>Try to forgive, teach me to live  
>Give me the strength to try!<em>

"Still sucks."

"To each his own."

* * *

><p>"This is a creepy play."<p>

"Considering it was written by a deformed, half-mad genius in the catacombs of a famous opera house, one would expect it to be."

"The whole fire thing's pretty cool though."

"Carlotta actually does have an impressive voice, when it is appropriately utilized. Much like our own charming diva."

"When does the Phantom come out?"

"First he has to kill this Don Juan."

"He just enjoys killing people, doesn't he?"

"Yes, but this duet is too amazing for me to care."

"You have messed up priorities."

* * *

><p>"I didn't like the ending." By the end of the two hour and twenty minute movie, Finn had inhaled three bowls of popcorn, and was feeling a little bit sick to his stomach.<p>

"There's a sequel called _Love Never Dies,_ but it hasn't come out on film yet. Or on Broadway, for that matter." Kurt had moved steadily closer to Finn during the movie, and was now using Finn's lap as his footrest.

"Is it as cool as this one?" Finn had thought _Phantom of the Opera_ was pretty awesome. It was a guy who went around murdering people because they were in his way. What's not to like?

"The Phantom doesn't hang as many people, if that's what you're asking." Kurt could see right through him.

"Then it's not as cool," Finn pouted.

"The Phantom and Christine end up together at the end, if only for about half an hour." Kurt swung his legs off Finn's lap and almost toppled off the couch.

"Smooth."

* * *

><p>"Hey, kiddos, how was this weekend?" Burt asked once they had gotten everything put away.<p>

"Painfully bland, if you must know." Kurt's tone was dry, but didn't give away how he was actually feeling.

"If it was interesting I would have been worried," Burt said gruffly, giving his son a quick hug.

"Are you alright, sweetheart?" Kurt had forgotten how perceptive moms could be.

"I'm fine, mom." Carole's eyes widdened when Kurt said that, but as Kurt was hugging her, he didn't notice. She noticed Kurt hugged her tightly, and for a little longer than usual, which meant something was wrong, he just didn't want to say so in front of his father.

"How about we watch a movie?" The adults were still working to push the kids together, despite the fact they had been a family for almost six months.

"We just watched _Phantom_. I, for one, have homework to do." Burt frowned, but Kurt left anyway.

"What's going on with him?"

"As much as I respect your relationship with Kurt, I think this is a mother's job," Carole smiled at her husband before following her step-son.

* * *

><p>"What happened?" Carole asked softly, letting herself into Kurt's room. Trye to his word, Kurt had his books on his bed, and seemed to be reading.<p>

"Blaine and I broke up. Well, 'I got dumped' would be a more accurate description, but I prefer to make it sound amicable." Carole was the first, and only, person to get a straight answer.

"Oh, sweetheart, what happened?" Carole asked, climbing onto Kurt's bed and wrappign him in her arms, without a care for the books she knocked on the floor.

"Well, Blaine and I were..." Kurt paused and looked to his step-mom for understanding.

"Busy," Carole supplied with an amused smile. She had suspected the boys, especially Blaine and Kurt, wouldn't be strict about following Burt's 'no.. significant other in the house with we're gone' rule.

"Busy," Kurt repeated with a blush, "and he wanted to... move further, and I said no." Kurt paused long enough for Carole to worry, which wasn't very long at all.

"Please don't tell me he tried to force you." It was practically a beg, but if Blaine had...

"Though he was not as moral a gentleman as I originally believed, he didn't try anything. He just dumped me and left." Kurt tried to seem unaffected, but he couldn't meet Carole's eyes and his voice was thick.

Carole just hugged the boy tighter. Kurt was mature, more mature than any teenager should be, but he looked like a vulnerable child at the moment, in the face of his first broken heart, and he needed a mother. She couldn't give him _his_ mother, but she could help.

"I know you don't want to hear it, especially after the history between you and Blaine," Kurt flinched slightly when she mentioned his name, "but he's not worth it. It'll be okay, I promise."

"It's not even permanent. H-he was just frustrated, he'll be back with a mountain of mixed-up, overtly-sexual apologies," that made Kurt smile, but Carole had a lump in her throat. Kurt would take Blaine back anytime he asked, it wasn't a healthy mentality to have after a break-up.

"Kurt, sweetie, if you and Blaine were to get back together, it would still be the same."

"No, it wouldn't." If there's one word to describe Kurt Hummel, it was stubborn. "He really is a good guy, Carole." Kurt was in denial, she realized. He sounded more like he was trying to convince himself. She also noticed the change back to 'Carole.'

"I'm sure he's a good guy, maybe he's just not the right guy for you." Carole rubbed the countertenor's back.

Kurt didn't talk for a few minutes, burying his head in Carole's shoulder. She could feel tears wetting her shirt. "Do you really think it's over?" His voice was muffled, but he sounded _broken._

"Honestly? Yes." The reaction Carole expected was a break-down appropriate to how much of a diva Kurt could be sometimes. What she didn't expect was for Kurt to pull away.

"I'd like to be alone please." Carole, despite her concern for the boy, respected his wishes.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So, next chapter we get inside Kurt's head a little. **_**Lots**_** of anguish-y angst! If anyone wants the order of the Phantom bits (when they take place) it's on my LiveJournal.**

**Lyrics mentioned:  
><strong>_'Think of Me'_ from the Phantom of the Opera  
><em>'Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again'<em> from the Phantom of the Opera**  
><strong>

**Reviews are Love.**


	3. At Seventeen

Carole could hear soft strains of a beautiful, melancholy voice floating from Kurt's room as she walked down the stairs.

"Is he alright?" Burt asked as soon as she walked into the living room. Finn just grimaced, and Carole realized Kurt must have been this emotional _all weekend_.

Ignoring her husband's question in favor of her own curiosity, she asked "When did..." letting the question trail off.

"Saturday, and he's been a mess since then. He's sad, then angry, then okay, then... all over the place, and he thinks he's coming back."

"I noticed that, but I think it's more of a vain hope than a real belief."

"What the hell is going on with my son?" Burt practically yelled, upset that he was the last to know what was wrong with his baby boy.

"Blaine and Kurt broke up, and Kurt's really upset," Carole explained.

"Where the hell is my shot gun?" Burt was very much the over-protective father.

Carole was about to intervene when Finn smiled. "I'm pretty sure Puck's taking care of that."

"Puck?" Burt was clearly caught off-guard.

"Yeah, he's, like, weirdly protective of Kurt now. I don't get it, but I almost feel bad for Blaine," Finn said with a shrug.

* * *

><p>"Open up, Hobbit!" Puck slammed his fist against prep boy's door.<p>

"Who is it?" Because Kurt had been obsessed with Blaine, and his voice in particular, Puck knew it wasn't him.

"Puck, here to bash that asshole's face in!"

"Why?" The boy opened the door. Plain, dark brown hair and brown eyes, possibly one of the most uninteresting people he'd ever seen.

"He hurt my friend. I'm going to kill him. Simple enough for you?" Puck shoved the Garbler into the door and strode into the room. Empty. Fuck. "Where is he?"

"Buying apology flowers for Kurt, who, I assume, is the friend you are referring to." They were all so formal, it pissed Puck off.

"There's no way in hell Kurt's taking that dickhead back." Puck knew he actually would, but he didn't need to tell the Warhead that.

"Doesn't mean Blaine won't try. We told him it was a bad idea too, considering _he_ broke up with _Kurt_ but he never listens." The Warner rolled his eyes and Puck liked him a little bit more. "Honestly, it was easier when he was 'dating' that big-nosed, annoying, soprano girl. Whenever he's interested in a _guy_, everything fails epically."

"No shit." Puck leaned against the wall.

"Are you going to wait here?" The Garnish asked.

"Yeah."

"I might wait with you, if it's alright. Try one more time to convince Blaine to drop the ridiculous serenade." The Warmer sat on one of the beds.

"He won't be able to sing once I break his nose," Puck said honestly.

"No comment."

After a few minutes of awkward silence, Puck asked "You his roommate?"

"Yes. I was also the first one to yell at him for breaking up with Kurt, though certainly not the last." Maybe the Warblers weren't so bad (and yes, Puck did actually know what they were called).

"You gay?" Puck knew that this was a rainbow-friendly school, so he wouldn't get punched.

"No." The Warbler hesitated for a minute before asking "Are you?"

"No, but Hummel's a cool dude."

"Yeah, I know," the Warbler smiled. "I'm Thad van Heusner, by the way."

"That's not a prep school name at all," Puck snorted.

"Yeah, of course not," Thad rolled his eyes.

Puck heard keys jingle, and slid out of the view of the door.

"Hey, Thad," Lame (as Puck decided to call him) walked into the room, holding about a billion roses.

Puck waited until he closed and locked the door before announcing his presence by saying "Kurt's not a girl dumbass." Lame jumped about a foot.

"Oh, hello Noah, I-"

"You don't get to call me that. Kurt does," not that I know why, he added silently, "but you don't. It's Puck to you, got it?" He advanced on Lame, who backed away slowly and nodded.

"Listen Puck, I understand why you're upset, but I was just frustrated, I never meant to hurt or upset Kurt. You're a guy, you get that, right?"

"No. I'd _never_ tell a girl, or a guy, for that matter, that I love them, then push them to have sex with me, and break up with them if they didn't. That's just an asshole move." Lame looked floored. Thad looked pissed.

"That's why you broke up with him?" He yelled at his roommate. "That is the stupidest and _mean_est thing I know you to have done."

"That's not... I..."

"Big picture, dude. If you go anywhere near Kurt right now, so help you God, I will break every bone in your body. He doesn't need your rap, and he definitely isn't going to take you back. For now," Puck punched Lame right in the nose, hearing a (extremely satisfying) crunch.

* * *

><p>Kurt curled up and just sobbed, letting the soft voices of Whitney, Mariah, and Celine wash over him. As repulsive as Twilight was, Kurt could sympathize with Bella. It felt like he was breaking apart, like there was a deep chasm in his chest that would never be healed.<p>

He was right when he had said Blaine would apologize, probably with roses and a completely inappropriate serenade. The problem was, Carole was right too. Blaine would still want to have sex, and would pressure him.

Kurt knew he wasn't sexy, Cheerios and _Push It_ non withstanding. Blaine had said it himself. His insecurities were coupled with his inexperience, and he wasn't ready to be that _vulnerable_ with Blaine, as much as he loved him.

Kurt had always been a quiet crier, either by force of will or naturally, but now he couldn't muster the energy to care as heart-broken sobs tore from his throat. He would never have _his_ Blaine back. The smiling Blaine that grabbed his hand, fearless, and serenaded him with an overtly sexual song, inappropriate for someone you had just met. The Blaine that was so supportive of him during his first few weeks at Dalton. The Blaine that fell head-over-heels for curly-haired-blondes-that-wear-sweaters-with-awkwardly-placed-buttons and big-nosed-annoying-but-loveable-female-sopranos. The Blaine that offered to have the sex talk wit him so that he'd be ready (and how ironic could a moment be?) and then asked his awkward-and-extremely-straight father to do so because someday he might meet some guy at a party and start fooling around without knowing anything. How did he make it out of that conversation alive? He would never have back the Blaine that was a part of him, as much as his voice, his clothes, and his attitude.

* * *

><p>Kurt had been in his room for hours. His walls were sound-proofed (for the most part) for midnight practice purposes, but from the room right next to his, Finn could hear his heart-broken sobs. He was tempted to go comfort him, but he had a feeling he wouldn't get a warm res... rec... greeting.<p>

Just when he was bout to say 'screw it' and go into Kurt's room to comfort him, he noticed the sobbing had stopped, and heard guitar chords. Apparently, somebody had done an absolutely crappy job on the sound-proofing, because Finn could hear every note of the next song.

_I learned the truth at seventeen  
>that love was meant for beauty queens<br>And high school girls with clear-skinned smiles  
>who married young and then retired.<em>

_The valentines I never knew,  
>the Friday night charades of youth<br>were spent on one more beautiful.  
>At seventeen I learned the truth.<em>

_And those of us with ravaged faces,  
>lacking in the social graces,<br>desperately remained at home,  
>inventing lovers on the phone<br>who called to say, "Come dance with me,"  
>and murmured vague obscenities.<br>It isn't all it seems at seventeen._

_A brown-eyed girl in hand-me-downs  
>whose name I never could pronounce<br>said, "Pity, please, the ones who serve;  
>they only get what they deserve.<br>The rich-relationed hometown queen  
>marries into what she needs:<br>a guarantee of company  
>and haven for the elderly."<em>

_Remember those who win the game  
>lose the love they sought to gain.<br>In debentures of quality and dubious integrity.  
>Their small-town eyes will gape at you<br>in dull surprise when payment due  
>exceeds accounts received at seventeen.<em>

_To those of us who know the pain  
>of valentines that never came,<br>and those whose names were never called  
>when choosing sides for basketball.<br>_

_It was long ago and far away;  
>the world was younger than today<br>and dreams were all they gave for free  
>to ugly duckling girls like me.<em>

_We all play the game  
>and when we dare to cheat ourselves at solitaire,<br>inventing lovers on the phone,  
>repenting other lives unknown,<br>that call and say, "Come dance with me,"  
>and murmur vague obscenities<br>at ugly girls like me at seventeen._

It was possibly one of the saddest, most self-hating songs Finn had heard, and Kurt didn't even bother to change the gender. If he meant all the lyrics, he had completely given up on love, and believed it was only for girls like Rachel and Quinn. He couldn't be more wrong.

* * *

><p>Carole was making a late dinner while the boys watched a game, when Kurt finally came downstairs. His face was red and blotchy, his eyes and nose puffy, and he just looked tired, like all energy and life had been drained out of his body.<p>

"Hi," was all he said, and it was just a quiet murmur. He still sounded sniffily.

"How are you feeling, sweetheart?" The answer obviously wasn't 'good' but right now 'okay' would have to be enough.

"Better," he said quietly. He lowered his eyes and added "I could really use a hug."

Salmon be damned, it was the only time Carole had ever heard Kurt reach out for help. She quickly hugged the countertenor who hung limp in her arms for a moment, before hugging back.

"Thank you," he said, voice muffled in her shoulder, before pulling away.

"Anytime sweetie. The boys are in there watching a game, and dinner will be ready in a few minutes."

"Can I help?" Carole raised her eyebrows at her step-son. "It's a good distraction," he admitted, lowering his eyes again.

"Then by all means," Carole made a dramatic gesture towards the stove, and Kurt smiled shakily.

"Hey Hummel," Puck walked casually into the room, and Kurt's eyes widened dramatically. "You look like shit."

"Nice to see you as well, Noah, and I'm aware. So, if you would please get whatever you need and fuck off, it would be much appreciated." Puck obviously brought out the worst of Kurt's diva attitude, as Carole had never heard him swear before. Maybe it was a result of the insult to his appearance.

"Snappy, much? What's up your ass, since it's obviously not Blaine's cock?" Kurt's mouth tightened into a thin line, and Carole wondered if he was going to make it out of this conversation alive.

* * *

><p>Out in the living room, Burt also looked ready to murder Puck.<p>

"Relax, Burt, that's Puck's way of saying Kurt didn't have sex with Blaine."

"Good," Burt paused. "Should we go help the kid not get murdered?"

"No, Puck knows what he's doing... I hope."

* * *

><p>"Being hit by... certain realities is all." Kurt's reaction was a lot less violent than anyone had expected.<p>

"Realizing that Blaine's an asshole, and you shouldn't get back together with him?" Puck asked, slinging an arm around the countertenor's shoulder.

"Exactly that, as a matter of fact. I forget how perceptive you can be sometimes." Unaccustomed to, and a little bit shocked by, the closeness between the two boys, Carole just returned to making dinner, working around the two boys leaning against the counter.

"I'm smarter than I look."

"We'd hope." Kurt still seemed sad though.

"If it helps, I visited Dalton today and broke his nose," Puck offered with a one-armed shrug.

"You did _what?_" Kurt screamed, shoving Puck's arm off. "You're not allowed to randomly go around and break people's noses, Noah! You're going to get thrown back in juvie." Despite how annoyed he was, Kurt still called the boy Noah, because equating this 'helpful' friend with the jock that threw him in the dumpster seemed wrong.

"He totally deserved it. Besides, I promised I'd hurt him if he hurt you, and I don't go back on a promise." It was chivalrous in a way.

"What am I going to do with you?" Kurt sighed, leaning next to him again.

"Help me with my Glee number?" Puck asked, giving the countertenor his patented 'charm-his-way-into-anyone's-pants' smile. Apparently, it worked just as well on guys as it did on girls, because Kurt sighed dramatically.

"Fine," dragging Puck into his bedroom.

"Door open!" Burt called from the living room, because he didn't trust that Puck kid.

"Whatever!" Kurt called back.

* * *

><p>Puck strutted over to Kurt's computer, confident as always, and looked for 'Fleetwood Mac.'<p>

"So, you don't really know that many _Rumours_ songs, do you?" Kurt had the entire album.

"Are you going to sing, or make fun of me?" Kurt shot back, sitting on his bed. Puck noticed, but didn't comment on, the wet blotches and mascara covering his pillows, which perfectly fit the red, blotched, crying-for-hours look of his face.

_Rock on, gold dust woman  
>Take your silver spoon<br>And dig your grave_

_Heartless challenge  
>Pick your path and I'll pray<br>_

_Wake up in the morning  
>See your sunrise loves to go down<em>

_Lousy lovers, pick their prey  
>But they never cry out loud, cry out<em>

_Did she make you cry?  
>Make you break down?<br>Shatter your illusions of love?  
>Is it over now, do you know how<br>To pick up the pieces and go home?_

_Rock on, ancient woman  
>Follow those who pale<br>In your shadow_

_Rulers make bad lovers  
>You better put your kingdom<br>up for sale, up for sale_

_Did she make you cry?  
>Make you break down?<br>Shatter your illusions of love?  
>Is it over now, do you know how<br>To pick up the pieces and go home?_

_Well, did she make you cry?  
>Make you break down?<br>Shatter your illusions of love?  
>Tell me, is it over now, do you know how<br>To pick up the pieces and go home?_

Puck had obviously edited the song to be shorter, but he sounded surprisingly good. Not that he didn't have a good voice, but Stevie Nicks didn't seem to be his usual kind of music.

"Who was that about?" That was what Kurt was really curious about.

Was it Quinn, the girl who he had loved, and who had carried his baby? Who really had made him cry, and hardened him when he was almost warming up to the Glee Club? Was it Lauren, the girl who nobody believed was right for him? The one who was giving him such a tough time that he had almost given up on her?

"I... don't know really. Maybe both of them." Kurt and Puck both knew who he was referring to.

"I understand Quinn, but why Lauren? Why is this about her? Why are you dating her?" It was probably dangerous for him to ask such personal questions.

"She's... shallow. I helped her research Quinn, it's true, I broke into the principal's office late at night. My permanent record has _three_ volumes! Anyway, I never thought she'd go public with the information. What she did to her... it was horrible. She was humiliated. Did... did I ever do that to you?" Puck asked, quietly.

"You didn't, not really. Others... but never you." Kurt met his eyes, and the _pain_ there made Puck want to run screaming, or fall to his knees, begging for forgiveness. "You never said why you're dating her, especially now."

"I kinda worshiped her before. Most badass chick I'd ever met. But I realized it was... that thing you have with Finn."

"_Had_ with Finn. The thing you're referring to is hero-worship." Kurt was good at being nice about explaining things.

"Yeah, that. 'Cause she pulled me out of the porta-potty. Then it was wanting to make a statement. Now... I don't know now." Puck was being more honest with Kurt than he'd been with anyone for a long time. "Hey, I'm not the only one who's going to spill their guts. I know you have a song prepared. Sing." It was more of a demand than a request, but Kurt just followed it.

"Click _The Chain._"

_Listen to the wind blow  
>Watch the sun rise<br>Run in the shadows  
>Damn your love<br>Damn your lies_

_And if you don't love me now  
>You will never love me again<br>I can still hear you saying  
>You would never break the chain.<em>

_And if you don't love me now  
>You will never love me again<br>I can still hear you saying  
>You would never break the chain.<em>

_Listen to the wind blow  
>Down comes the night<br>Run in the shadows  
>Damn your love<br>Damn your lies_

_Break the silence  
>Damn the dark<br>Damn the light_

_And if you don't love me now  
>You will never love me again<br>I can still hear you saying  
>You would never break the chain.<em>

_And if you don't love me now  
>You will never love me again<br>I can still hear you saying  
>You would never break the chain.<em>

Kurt's voice was shaky and almost breaking by the end, and he cut the song short. "I'm sorry, it's just..."

"You're not over it. It's fine." Puck was standing awkwardly by the bed, not sure what to do with the softly crying boy. "Are you-?"

"Boys! Dinner's ready!" Carole's voice cut the tension, and Puck took advantage to escape.

* * *

><p>Dinner could only be described as the most awkward hour of Finn's life. Puck and Kurt were sitting next to each other, for some strange reason. Burt spent the entire dinner glaring at Puck like he was personally responsible for how upset Kurt was. Carole tried to make conversation, trying to talk to first Kurt, who still seemed upset and was being really quiet, then Puck, who seemed to be tip-toeing around both Kurt and Burt, then Burt, who gave clipped, one-word answers. Kurt, he had figured out by watching carefully, hadn't actually eaten anything, but was cleverly moving his food around his plate so that it looked like he had. Burt had viciously stabbed each and every piece of his salmon, clearly imagining it was Puck's head.<p>

"Dad," Kurt spoke up for the first time. "Could you please stop attempting to murder Noah with your eyes?" Finn was sure his eyes bulged out when Kurt called Puck 'Noah,' and Puck didn't say anything.

"Give me one good reason," Burt replied, still glaring at Puck, stabbing another piece of his salmon.

"Because he's actually nice now?" Kurt offered.

"Didn't he throw pee balloons at you? And nail the lawn furniture to our roof? And throw you in the dumpster?" Puck looked really guilty as Burt listed all the horrible things he had done to Kurt.

"So did Finn. Well, he wasn't actually there for the lawn furniture heist." Finn was pretty sure 'heist' meant stealing.

"Actually, the pee balloons were Finn's idea," Puck added, not that Burt would give him any mercy for sharing that fact.

"Finn!" Carole exclaimed, shocked.

"That was, like, two years ago, mom," Finn said, glaring at Puck.

"You gave Finn a chance," Kurt added. "Why not give Noah the same courtesy?" Burt knew he would cave to his son's puppy-dog eyes.

"Fine. You got a girlfriend, kid?" Burt asked very transparently.

"Yes, Daddy, he does. He's not gay, or bi, or curious, or pan, so you can stop being overly protective now." Finn didn't know what 'pan' meant.

"Pan?" Apparently, neither did Burt.

"Pansexual. It means you're attracted to someone based on an aspect of their personality, regardless of gender."

"Sometimes I wonder how you know these things." Kurt just shrugged.

"I know a lot of things, Dad. I could probably list every song Sarah Brightman has ever sung, written, or covered. I could name over a hundred reasons why Rachel is very much like Carlotta, as our leading soprano for two seasons," Finn laughed at that one, "I could tell you every musical listed in Rod's book of _Broadway Musicals of the 1940s._"

"Who?" Everyone at the table looked confused about that one.

"I could also explain that _Avenue Q_ reference to you. See? I know lots of things." Well, at least Kurt was talking now, if he was a little bit bitchy.

"Alright, kiddo. Listen, punk. You did what I couldn't do for my son without being arrested," obviously Burt had overheard about Blaine's now broken nose, "and I respect that. You have one chance, don't waste it."

"Thank you, sir."

* * *

><p>"Somehow, you just don't seem to be the type of guy that would like comics. Sam and Artie, yeah. You, not so much," Puck commented, flipping through Kurt's seemingly endless collection of old, collectable comic books.<p>

"Would you stop touching those? They're for Sam. Despite the fact that I am not entirely the gay stereotype, I am not actually the world's biggest fan of comic books." Kurt was packing clothes in a bag too.

"Dude, what's going on? Why are you giving Sam all this shit?" Sam and Kurt had... something going on, according to Lauren. Something about a duet that got canceled, maybe. Finn hadn't said anything.

"Promise not to tell?" Kurt sounded wary.

"Maybe. The Puckerone doesn't do pinky-promises."

"Puck..."

"Fine." As long as Kurt told him.

"Well, it's kind of a long story..." Kurt sounded reluctant (yes, he did know what that meant).

"Is he gay?" Why else would _Kurt_ be helping him out?

"_No._" Kurt sounded annoyed by the suggestion, which was a little unfair.

"If you were secretly cheating on Blaine with Sam all this time, I am going to laugh like a fucking hyena." That would possibly be the greatest thing that could ever happen.

"I will never... would never cheat on Blaine. Sam's father lost his job a while ago and they lost their house. Sam's parents, him, and his little brother and sister all live at a motel in one room. I figured I would do all I can to help them out, including toys and comic books for his little siblings." Puck groaned and threw himself back onto Kurt's bed. "What?"

"You're too nice!" he moaned. "Why can't you be an evil, selfish, self-righteous bitch?"

"I'm... sorry that I'm sometimes a nice person, Puckerman." Kurt sounded confused.

"I've been horrible to you and you're secretly awesome!" Puck continued to lament. "Why am I such a dick?"

"I've been asking myself that for years," Kurt said with a joking smile, turning back to his closet. Kurt seemed much more at ease with just Puck than he had been with Carole, Finn, and Burt also present.

"Dude, why do you have a teddy bear on your bed?" The teddy bear had fallen onto Puck's head from where it had been perched on Kurt's fresh pillow. "Isn't that a little... young?"

"It was a present from my mom, when I was little. Coco the bear," Kurt said softly, obviously sad.

"Why Coco?"

"It smells like chocolate if you sniff it. That bear has smelled like chocolate for fourteen years," Kurt sounded like he was smiling, though he was still facing his closet.

"It's, like, the color of it too." The bear was kind of cute, actually, a little lighter than milk chocolate with a light snout and feet, it had a little blue-, purple-, green-, and yellow-checked ribbon tied in a bow around it's neck.

"I was a simple child, as hard as that may be to believe."

"Dude, how are you going to carry all of this stuff?" The boxes were _heavy_, Puck wasn't even sure he could lift them.

"Want to help me?" Kurt smiled shyly. _Damn._

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So, there's a poll up for this story. You should all go vote for it on my profile *nods.* The more people vote, the easier it is to write the next few chapters. This chapter is a little short, but I'll make up for it I promise. Anyway, I really have a bear like that, a present from my (unknown) mom, which is tucked under my chin as I write this. Shoutout to Bymaga Jones for Puck's nickname for Blaine. **

**Songs used:  
><strong>_'At Seventeen'_ by DHT  
><em>'Gold Dust Woman'<em> by Fleetwood Mac  
><em>'The Chain'<em> by Fleetwood Mac

**I realized after I wrote this that _The Chain_ was used in the scene where Kurt was coming out of Sam's Motel. Like Kurt broke the chain. Whatever.**

**Reviews are Love. Please go vote on the poll.**


	4. Kiss You All Over

**A/N: May I just say this is the first story that I have ever drafted what's going to happen more than 3 chapters ahead! It's amazing! Anyway, Read On.**

* * *

><p>Despite his reservations, Puck actually had been able to get the boxes into his truck (which, Kurt noticed, was a piece of crap). Burt had been unconcerned as to where they were going with the boxes, but he had given Puck a very distrustful look.<p>

The ride to American Family Motels was practically silent. Puck knew that way (he had brought plenty of girls there) and Kurt (for once) didn't have anything to say. Kurt spoke for the first time when Puck parked in front of the motels. "I'll go talk to Sam really quickly. I'll come right back out."

"Dude, I can just come in, I'm not a little kid," Puck rolled his eyes at the countertenor, who was biting his top lip uncertainly.

"I... he's not going to be happy that you know." Kurt just slid out of the truck, leaving Puck to make the decision. Puck, who'd made a reputation of not listening to people, followed him. Kurt didn't even pause, knocking on one of the first doors as if he'd been there many times.

"Sam!" he called, softly enough to not wake anyone up, but loud enough to be heard. "It's Kurt!"

"Like anyone could ever mistake your voice," Puck snorted. Kurt jumped about a foot at the sound of his voice, obviously having expected him to stay in the car.

"Hey, Ku- oh God, you told _Puck!_" Sam accused the smaller boy upon opening the door. There was a little girl peeking around Sam's legs. She was as blonde as her brother, and shared his trouty mouth.

"Noah won't tell anyone!" Kurt promised quickly, looking like a dear in the headlights. If Sam was surprised that Kurt called Puck 'Noah,' he didn't show it. "I just needed help carrying things." Puck was pretty sure nobody could stay mad at a slightly-teary Kurt, and Sam was no exception.

"Whatever. Thanks for helping out." Sam seemed uncomfortable around the other jock.

"No prob, dude." Kurt gave Puck a look that clearly said 'Boxes, _now._' Puck obliged and trudged away to get the boxes.

"Hey, Stacy, sweetie," Kurt addressed the small girl with a smile.

"Kurty!" Stacy had obviously been intimidated by Puck, because as soon as he left she ran around Sam to cling to the countertenor's legs.

"How are you, sweetheart?" No matter how many times Kurt lifted Stacy up onto his hip, he would never _not_ be surprised by how light she was. "I brought you some presents." Stacy's eyes lit up.

"Kurt, you really didn't have to..." Sam was obviously feeling like a charity case.

"Stop being dumb, Sam. It was no problem. I still had all of my old Barbies." Kurt blushed slightly as he talked. He had as many comic books and action figures as he did Barbies, but it was still a little bit embarrassing. Sam just smiled.

"Dude, you could give me some help with these," Puck huffed, holding two heavy boxes in his arms that obscured his face.

"I brought _you_ to do the heavy lifting." Kurt felt Stacy tense in his arms and try to wiggle around his waist. "It's okay, Stacy bear. I know his haircut is _horrible_ but Noah's very nice. Can you say 'hi' to Noah?" Kurt seemed used to dealing with kids, which is the opposite of what Puck expected.

"Hi, Noah," Stacy said shyly. Puck just answered with a grunt, carrying the boxes into the room and placing them on the ground. _Fuck_, they were heavy.

"Kurt..." Apparently, the bigger the boxes were, the more it felt like charity to Sam.

"That's it, I promise. The box on the top is clothes, and the other box is toys for both Stacy and Stevie," Kurt nodded to the small, blond boy who was watching TV.

"Hey, Kurt." Stevie seemed about the same age as Stacy.

"Hey, Stevie." Sam still looked unsure. "Look, it's nothing, Sam. I know I'm a bit more... fortunate than most. I just want to help." Sam looked slightly more certain.

"Thanks, Kurt." Puck was a little surprised when Sam hugged the countertenor, and Kurt clearly was to, but he hugged back with one arm, still holding Stacy.

"It's no problem," Kurt said, releasing the blond boy.

"I... I hate to ask, but Quinn has a date so, can you watch Stevie and Stacy when I'm working on Thursday?" Kurt's eyes lit up.

"Of course! Your little siblings are angels!" Kurt tickled Stacy, who was still perched on his hip, as he talked and the little girl giggled.

"They're a lot better with you and Quinn than they are with me," Sam said with a laugh. Puck could see how much being in charge of the young kids and trying to help his family was taking a toll in the dark gray around his eyes. Kurt could probably help with that.

"Don't be silly. You're not mean to your brother, are you Stacy?" It wasn't baby talk, but Kurt took a much softer and nicer tone with the small girl than he did normally.

"Yes," the small girl giggled again.

"Stacy!" Kurt acted mock-shocked.

"I'm sorry, Sammy!" Stacy smiled at her brother.

"As much as I would love to stay with your little angel," Kurt nodded to Stacy, "it's late and my dad doesn't know where we are, so we should go." Kurt smiled regretfully at Sam as he pried Stacy off his shirt and handed her to her brother.

"Bye, Kurt, Puck," Sam placed Stacy on the ground and started opening the boxes. Kurt, seeing Puck was about to say something, grabbed his hand and dragged him out of the room. Kurt continued to drag him by the hand until they were almost at his truck.

"Dude..." Puck liked Kurt, but he wasn't exactly comfortable with holding the dude's hand.

"Sorry!" Kurt squeaked, immediately pulling his hand away like Puck had burned it. Finn accused this boy of molesting him in his sleep how?

"Don't have a panic attack." Puck rolled his eyes. Kurt still thought Puck was ready to bite his head off and throw him back in the dumpster.

"Thank you for helping me with this. It's surprisingly decent of you," Kurt teased cautiously. "You can just drop me off so that you don't have to deal with my dad." Puck shrugged. Burt Hummel didn't scare him.

* * *

><p>"What the hell is wrong with you?" Rachel shrieked before she was even through the door of the first lunchtime Glee practice. Kurt, who had been chatting with Quinn about this great new moisturizer, ignored her, figuring she was yelling at Finn, as usual. He was surprised when a copy of that disgusting muckraker was shoved in his face.<p>

"Resident Jock and Bad Boy Sleeping with the Local Queer?" he read the headline as a question. Underneath the (ridiculous) headline was a picture of Puck and Kurt walking out of the motel hand-in-hand. "Excellent photoshopping," he said with a sniff. Inside, he was freaking out. That _stalker_ Ben Israel was _watching_ Sam's motel?

"That's not photoshopping! I took that picture! I can't believe you would lower yourself to sleeping with Puck! I know you've been upset since you broke up with Blaine, but this is ridiculous! You shouldn't slut yourself out like that!" Rachel was practically screaming. Quinn was rolling her eyes at the soprano and daintily covering her ears.

"I'm not sleeping with Puck, Berry."

"Then explain this picture!" Sam gave the trio a worried look and Kurt _couldn't_, damn it!

"What would make you more upset if, in theory, this had actually happened? The fact that I slept with one of your ex-boyfriends, or the fact that I lost my virginity before you did?" Rachel looked as though she had been slapped by his words, and Mercedes and Tina, who had just walked through the door, 'ooh'-ed.

"I-I..." Rachel was searching futilely for words and Kurt smirked, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. Unfortunately, Puck became her new target. "Since when are you bisexual, Noah?" _Shit._

"What the hell are you talking about, Berry?" His promise to be nicer to Jews be damned, Rachel was acting crazy, the kind of crazy she hadn't shown since last year.

"Your new relationship with Kurt," she replied cheerily.

"You're bat shit crazy, Berry, Kurt just broke up with his boyfriend." Finn gave him a weird look, and then he realized he'd just called Kurt by his first name.

"Finn and I saw you! You came together out of a motel room, _holding hands_, and got into your truck. I think your clandestine romance is very sweet, but I feel offended that you felt you had to hide it from us." Puck's nostrils flared.

"I'm not sleeping with Hummel!" he growled at the girl.

"Why exactly were you and Finn hanging outside a motel anyway?" Quinn spoke for the first time, and she sounded just as angry as Puck.

"Because you've been avoiding him, and we followed you there a few days ago to make sure you're not fooling around behind his back! We were doing a stake out!" Finn looked pained as Rachel talked.

"What exactly were you doing on this 'stake out'?" Kurt wasn't sure if she was yelling at Rachel or Finn.

"We were staking out. That's what you do on a stake out." Puck snorted and Kurt laughed at Finn's simple and obvious answer. Quinn looked unimpressed.

"Either way, it doesn't matter, because what we found out is worth your possessive wrath." Finn didn't seem to agree with Rachel, and Kurt knew he'd be in for hell tonight.

"Get it through your thick skull, Berry," Puck sounded angry again, "I have a girlfriend! I am not sleeping with the _fag!_ " Rachel looked shocked. After everything that Puck had done for Kurt recently, that was the last thing the countertenor expected him to say, and it physically _hurt._

"Puck!" Mr. Schue chose the perfect moment to walk into rehearsal. "That was out of line!"

Kurt was fighting back tears (he'd cried too much recently). Puck had... changed. He'd grown up after Beth and Juvie, and he'd become... decent, or so Kurt thought.

"You're gonna hurt if you talk about my boy like that, Puckerman," Mercedes threatened, getting up in Puck's face. Quinn just gave him a 'what's the matter with you?' look. Puck looked unmoved.

"Guys, you've been absolutely horrible to each other lately. _This_ is a perfect example of why we're doing Fleetwood Mac!" Sometimes Mr. Schue's eternal optimism was actually a high point in Kurt's day. Right now, Kurt had never wanted anything more than he wanted to smack the teacher. "So, who's up today?"

"I have a song," Rachel said immediately.

"Of course you do." Mercedes rolled her eyes.

Never one to be discouraged by the lack of enthusiasm from the group, Rachel continued. "It's a song about the painful breakup between Lindsey Buckingham and Stevie Nicks. Traditionally, it's sung by a man, but today, Rachel Berry's going to put her own feminine twist on it. Hit it." Mercedes gave him a look when Rachel referred to herself in the third person, and Kurt had to resist the urge to laugh, as upset as he was.

As if anything was needed to make Quinn angrier, Rachel had selected _Go Your Own Way._ While she did, Kurt would begrudgingly admit, sound incredible, it was definitely a love song, and Rachel spent the entire song staring at Finn, who was sitting front and center. Quinn was splitting her time between glaring at Rachel and having a silent conversation with a still-angry-looking Puck.

Once Rachel had finished and everyone had cheered (inappropriate or not, the performance was amazing), Quinn stood up. "I have a song as well, for my wonderful boyfriend, Finn." Finn looked a little surprised, and Rachel looked pissed (Kurt had a feeling that was the idea).

The ex-Cheerio skipped (actually _skipped_) over towards first the band and then Brad. Taking Rachel's sparkly microphone (and irritating the soprano diva further) Quinn started singing.

_Sweet wonderful you,  
>you make me happy with the things you do.<br>Oh, can it be so?  
>This feeling follows me wherever I go.<em>

_I never did believe in miracles,  
>but I've a feeling it's time to try.<br>I never did believe in the ways of magic,  
>but I'm beginning to wonder why.<em>

_I never did believe in miracles,  
>but I've a feeling it's time to try.<br>I never did believe in the ways of magic,  
>but I'm beginning to wonder why.<em>

_Don't, don't break the spell,  
>it would be different and you know it will.<br>You, you make lovin' fun,  
>And I don't have to tell you you're the only one.<br>You make lovin' fun.  
>You make lovin' fun.<br>You make lovin' fun.  
>You make lovin' fun.<em>

The entire point of the song for Quinn was obviously to make Rachel jealous. While Kurt normally tried to keep the peace between the two of them as much as possible, he was feeling (perhaps unjustly) upset with Rachel for what had happened earlier. Quinn sounded... surprisingly phenomenal. It was like her 'funk' number all over again, she had so much soul in her voice.

"Isn't that song about an affair between Christine McVie and the lighting director? It's a little strange that you would sing a song to your long-term boyfriend about a quick affair..." Quinn obviously had chosen the song for the words and not the story behind it.

"Well, that's how we started, isn't it?" Quinn responded quickly and sharply. And that was the difference between Quinn and Rachel. Quinn was much better at thinking on her feet. Rachel had no response.

"Well, two spectacular performances done by two fantastic sopranos. Anyone else have a song for today?" Technically, Kurt could share his, but it felt too personal, and, honestly, reminded him too much of how he'd thought Puck changed. "Alright, dismissed then." Kurt absolutely booked it out of the room. He didn't want to be in the middle of the inevitable cat fight between Quinn and Rachel, and he _definitely_ didn't want to talk to Puck.

"White boy, slow the hell down!" Mercedes yelled after him. Although he would be killed for it later, Kurt continued to walk.

* * *

><p>"I can't <em>believe<em> you would sing a _love song_ to _my_ boyfriend!" Quinn yelled angrily.

"I can't believe you have the _nerve _to sing a song about an affair to your boyfriend, _claiming _it's about the beginning of your relationship, when you're_ obviously _having an affair with_ someone _at a sleazy _motel_!" Rachel screeched back.

Finn looked like he was too afraid of Quinn's claws to get in between them. Everyone else had lost interest in their daily cat fights, and had broken into groups to chat. Puck had left almost as quickly as Kurt had, but through the opposite door.

"I wonder what's wrong with Kurt?" Tina asked quietly.

"Obviously, white boy's upset by mohawk's comment!" Mercedes had been, and always would be, the first to step up to Kurt's defense.

"Well, why were they in that motel? I know better than anyone that Puck's refusing to cheat on Lauren, even though she isn't giving him anything." Santana probably didn't care about the actual issue, but rather about the loss of a 'special friend.'

"Why have they been so close lately?" Tina asked.

"I don't know. Ever since Kurt and Blaine broke up, Puck's become his guardian angel... or something. He won't even answer me!" Mercedes looked (justly) angry.

"Why don't we go talk to him?" Brittany asked. She was staring blankly at the cat fight, twirling a piece of her hair around her finger.

"Good luck!" Mercedes said dramatically. "If he won't talk to _me_, I doubt he'll talk to any of you."

* * *

><p>Kurt hated his life for a multitude of reasons. The main reason, at the moment, was that Noah Puckerman, Grade A actor and <em>asshole<em>, was leaning against his baby.

"Get off of my car." Kurt tried to sound threatening.

"Down, kitty," he had apparently failed. "Look, I'm sorry, alright? I have temper issues."

"Obviously. Now, if you would please peel your sweaty Neanderthal body off of my car, you may escape this encounter in one piece." Kurt smiled sweetly, letting his gaze dart quickly down to Puck's crotch, making his meaning very clear.

"Dude! It's just a word." There was a perfect example of how Puck would never change.

"No, it's not. You wouldn't understand, Puck." Puck just raised an eyebrow.

"So it's back to Puck now? Go ahead, _Hummel_, explain how it's not just three letters." Puck made the change from 'Kurt' to 'Hummel' very obvious.

"I was called... that word for the first time when I was seven, maybe two months after my mother died." Kurt closed his eyes and swallowed, fighting back the tears. It had been years, but the wound would always be raw. "I didn't even know what it meant. Since then, I've been called that word more times that I can count. I _respond_ to it, like it's my name. You have no idea how much it hearts _every single time_ someone calls me 'fag,' or 'fudge packer,' or 'uphill gardener,' or whatever gross slang they've decided is an appropriate label for me. It's not just here! I have to deal with that word, or threats, or exorcisms _every day_ and it's just not right! You know what? It hurts even _more_ when somebody I was _starting_ to care about slurs at me!"

Puck's expression was torn between anger and guilt. "Dude..." he said hesitantly.

"Do not call me dude!" Kurt shrieked. Apparently, that was the final straw and the counter tenor started to flounce away from him.

"Wait a second!" Puck yelled after him. Without stopping to think about his actions, he ran forward, grabbing Kurt and pulling him back, pinning him against his car. The smaller boy squirmed and Puck squeezed his arms tightly, pressing him bodily into the car. He realized his mistake when Kurt whimpered and squeezed his eyes shut, turning his head away from Puck, his whole body tensing.

"Please stop. _Please_," he whispered, and Puck realized he was seeing an entirely different situation. Kurt was absolutely _trembling._

Releasing Kurt, Puck tentatively rubbed his shaking shoulder. "Come on Kurt, it's just me. You're alright." Kurt's eyes snapped open. He took a few shaky breaths, but whatever scared him had obviously stopped. "What the hell was that about?" Puck kept his voice low but demanding.

"Nothing. Excuse me if I do not enjoy being pinned against immovable objects by diaphoretic plebeians." Kurt's tone was steady, but his body betrayed him. He was still shaking, and his eyes were far too bright.

"I call bullshit. What the hell did those fuckwads do to you?" Well, besides the stuff he knew about.

"A million things, _none_ of which concern you." Kurt's tone was familiar. Puck had to think a little bit on it, but he eventually made the connection.

"You said Blaine wouldn't try anything 'especially after...' Is this what you were talking about?" Kurt's horrified expression was answer enough.

"And here I thought you had the memory of a goldfish," Kurt replied snarkily. Puck recognized it for the defense mechanism that it was.

"Who did what?" Puck snarled, immediately regretting it when he saw the flash of fear in Kurt's eyes.

"I appreciate the concern, but it's really none of your business, Noah," Kurt said calmly.

"So it's back to 'Noah' now?" Puck asked with a raised eyebrow. _Damn_, Kurt was good at deflecting. "You're deflecting again."

"I am not." Kurt was trying to get him to argue.

"Why won't you tell me?"

"Telling anyone would compromise my morals and humiliate another person. I can't, in good conscience, do that, no matter how much I may hate said person." Puck had heard Kurt annoyed, irritated, scared, and angry, but he had never heard _absolute loathing_ in his voice.

"Fine. Don't tell me who, tell me what," Puck compromised.

Kurt sighed dramatically before saying, "_Someone_ may have pinned me against a locker and kissed me against my will." Kurt was looking firmly at the ground. Quietly, he added "my first kiss." _Holy shit._

"What an asshole!" Puck figured if someone was strong enough to pin Kurt against a locker, it was probably a guy (though Quinn and Santana were scarily strong). Plus, the humiliation thing probably means a closet-case. "Tell me who," Puck demanded.

"No," Kurt said. The statement was final. There was no way Kurt would tell him today.

"You're a brat, you know that?"

* * *

><p>"After our successful, yet non-productive, lunchtime rehearsal, is there anything someone wants to share now?" Kurt could feel Finn's eyes boring into him as Mr. Schuester spoke. Possibly it was for getting him in trouble with his girlfriend and his... Rachel, or the anger could be directed towards Puck, who was occupying the chair next to him, arm wrapped around the back of his chair.<p>

"Excuse me." _Oh shit._ Blaine knocked hesitantly on the frame of the choir room door. Puck was happy to notice a white band over his misshapen nose, though his voice didn't sound any different.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Puck snarled. "Didn't you get the message when I broke your nose? Or do I have to come visit Dalton again? Maybe I can even get your roommate to help me out this time." Blaine winced, and Kurt wondered exactly what had happened on that visit.

"Puck, you are not allowed to break people's noses. Blaine, is there any reason you're here? Not that you're not welcome to visit," Mr. Schuester said, speaking like a true diplomat.

"He's not," Finn said flatly, switching the angle of his glare from Puck to Blaine.

"Finn, Noah, be nice." Everyone's eyes bugged out, Blaine's especially, when Kurt called Puck 'Noah' and he didn't protest.

"Well, I... kind of have a song for Kurt. I messed up really badly, and I was hoping to apologize to him, if that's okay." Blaine sounded awkward, and was clearly uncomfortable without his 24 back-up singers.

"No, it's not," Puck answered before Mr. Schuester could.

"I do have a voice, Noah, you cannot speak for me." Kurt was clearly annoyed. Blaine flashed him a smile, and Kurt just raised his eyebrows.

"Sorry," Puck muttered.

"Anytime you would like to begin, Blaine," Mr. Schuester said to diffuse the shock from Puck apologizing.

Smiling at Mr. Schuester and then Kurt in the very dapper way that was so typical of him, Blaine pulled sheet music out of who-knows-where and handed it to the band. The moment the music started, Kurt honest-to-God face-palmed and murmured "Kill me now, please."

"What?" Puck whispered back. How bad could the song be? Puck was fine with Lame apologizing, as long as Kurt didn't forgive him.

_When I get home, babe  
>Gonna light your fire<br>All day, I've been thinkin' about you, babe  
>You're my one desire<em>

_Gonna wrap my arms around you  
>Hold you close to me<br>Oh, babe, I wanna taste your lips  
>I wanna fill your fantasy, yeah<em>

_I don't what I'd do without you, babe  
>Don't know where I'd be<br>You're not just another lover  
>No, you're everything to me<em>

_Every time I'm with you, baby  
>I can't believe it's true<br>When you're layin' in my arms  
>And you do the things you do<em>

_You can see it in my eyes  
>I can feel it in your touch<br>You don't have to say a thing  
>Just let me show how much<br>Love you, need you, yeah_

_I wanna kiss you all over  
>And over again<br>I wanna kiss you all over  
>Till the night closes in<br>Till the night closes in  
><em>

_Stay with me, lay with me  
>Holding me, loving me, baby<br>Here with me, near with me  
>Feeling you close to me, baby<em>

_So show me, show me everything you do  
>'Cause baby, no one does it quite like you<br>Love you, need you, oh babe_

_I wanna kiss you all over  
>And over again<br>I wanna kiss you all over  
>Till the night closes in<br>Till the night closes in_

_Till the night closes in  
>Till the night closes in<br>Till the night closes in _

That bad, apparently. Kurt was bright red, the girls were giggling and flustered, and all the guys besides Puck looked uncomfortable. Puck was trying hard not to laugh. Kurt _dated_ this dumbass? Who shows up to a guy's school to apologize and sings them a song about sex? Well, besides Puck that is, minus the 'guy' part.

Blaine appeared to have no shame, and climbed up to stand in front of Kurt as soon as he was finished singing. Kurt couldn't even look at him, blushing heavily. Puck did laugh then, and Lame shot him a glare. "I am so sorry, Kurt. What I did was completely out of line, and I'd understand if you never forgave me. I just want you to know... I love you, Kurt Hummel."

"Do I have to punch you in the face again?" Puck asked, annoyed, but Kurt looked uncertain. "Please don't tell me you're thinking about taking this dickhead back." He was though.

"Blaine... can we talk in _private_?" Kurt asked, and now he sounded angry.

* * *

><p>"I don't get you... or your song choices, but that doesn't matter. It seems like you're two different people! The sweet, adorable Blaine who takes me on romantic dates and is a complete sweetheart, and the Blaine that I met on Saturday. So which one are you now?" Blaine frowned slightly.<p>

"Are my song choices really that bad?" Kurt groaned. Talking to Blaine could be... _trying_.

"That was possibly the _least_ important thing that I said. What you did on Saturday was inexcusable, and you really hurt me, Blaine. What happened to the sweetheart that was so patient and sweet? I miss him." Kurt was going to cry if he kept talking.

"Kurt," Blaine began, swallowing audibly, "you will never know how sorry I am for hurting you. I understand that you're angry, upset, and confused. I messed up. I was frustrated and on a short temper to begin with. If we can't... be together, could we at least be friends? I... You mean the world to me." Blaine sounded so honest and heart-broken, Kurt had to resist the urge to leap into his arms and kiss him silly.

"I don't know. You really hurt me, Blaine, and I'm confused enough all ready. You, of all people, know how much is going on in my life, and I don't think I can handle the awkward post-break-up-friends thing. Maybe someday, but not right now." Blaine's lips tightened, but he nodded. "You know how much you mean to me, but... I can't say 'I love you' back anymore."

"I... I understand. Can I just ask one thing?" Confused, Kurt had to wonder what Blaine could possibly want. Before he could ask, Blaine pulled him into a short, sweet kiss. "Goodbye, Kurt Hummel," he murmured softly, pulling away from Kurt and starting down the hallway. Kurt reentered the choir room before Blaine could look back.

* * *

><p>"If that incident is ever mentioned again," Kurt announced, walking into the choir room, "the person who mentions it will be missing vital parts of their anatomy by the time I am done with them."<p>

"That was funny as hell!" Puck grinned at the counter tenor, purposely ignoring his words. "I can't believe you actually dated that guy!"

Kurt sighed. "I have to admit his song choices are _never _appropriate, but he has a good heart and he _tries _to be a romantic. Emphasis on tries," he joked with a slight smile.

"So... are you and Blaine..." Everyone turned to Brittany, shocked. The status of Kurt and Blaine was the elephant in the room, and would be mentioned eventually, but no one expected the question to come from Brittany.

"Over," was all the information Kurt offered, being his usual, frustrating self.

"'Over' as in just friends, or 'over' as in _over_-over?" Kurt laughed, slightly bitterly.

"Is there a difference?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So, it's been decided. No Klaine friendship... *pouts* I'm kind of disappointed honestly (I'm such a shipper). Anyway, sorry for the long break between updates (it's been hectic). Updates will become more frequent, promise. All Fleetwood Mac song origins were found on the internet or Glee and may not necessarily be accurate.**

**Songs used/mentioned:**

_'Go Your Own Way'_ by Fleetwood Mac_  
>'You Make Lovin' Fun'<em> by Fleetwood Mac_  
>'Kiss You All Over'<em> by Exile

**Reviews are Love.**


	5. I Don't Want to Know

**A/N: I know nothing about Halo. Forgive me. Also, I promise I don't hate Rachel. Honestly.  
><strong>

* * *

><p>"Hey, Kurt," Puck said, nodding to the small boy as he continued to whip Finn's ass at Halo. "You okay?" Puck would make fun of Blaine's apology for as long as the two knew each other, but he could also tell Kurt was hurting. Finn had gotten over being mad at him once Kurt dragged him away for a few seconds. The counter tenor had probably scared him into submission.<p>

"I'm fine," Kurt replied, but he sounded a little sniffly and hoarse.

"Fine is a word used to describe my ass, not the state of the recently-broken-up-with-who-just-told-their-ex-who-they-loved-that-they-can't-be-friends." Kurt snorted at his joke (though he would kill anyone who said so), walking into the kitchen.

"Once again, I can see how girls fall into bed with you." It was a lot friendlier than when he had said it the first time. Somehow, though Puck would never understand how, he and Kurt had become good friends. It was... weird. "And I'm fine. Somehow, as mixed up as Blaine's apology was, it helped."

"Please tell me you don't forgive the bitch," Puck said, annoyed.

"No, I haven't, but maybe someday," Kurt said with a slight smile. "Would either of you like something to drink or eat, since I'm out here?"

"Beer?" Puck asked hopefully.

"Not a chance, Puckerman. We have disgusting sodas, though," Kurt said mock-cheerily.

"Dude, how can you talk and play at the same time?" Finn asked, frustrated, as Puck killed his character once again.

"Some of us are able to multitask, Frankenteen." Puck grinned as he noticed how much higher his score was than Finn's.

"I can feel the testosterone levels in the living room rising, even from over here," Kurt commented lazily. He looked like he'd been crying, Puck noticed as he walked into the living room, but it definitely wasn't as bad as it had been when they first broke up. Kurt had just looked like a zombie, a very red one.

"Excuse us if we're too manly for you to handle, Porcelain." Puck smirked as he used the nickname he knew Kurt loathed. Well, Kurt _was_ really pale.

"Wow, Noah, I didn't even know you knew the words 'excuse us,'" Kurt commented sarcastically, drinking from his water bottle.

"There's a lot you don't know about me, Kurt." Puck hadn't meant for the words to sound so_ serious_, but they did, and Kurt gave him a quizzical look.

"Yes, I know," was all he said. He was frustrating like that. Turning back to the game and realizing Finn had started another round without him, Puck swore colorfully (earning himself a glare from Kurt), and began to play.

"Dude, why are you dating Lauren?" It was long established guy code that every statement in a serious conversation had to have the word 'dude' before it. Made it seem less lame, with the added bonus that it would drive Kurt up the wall.

"Dude, she's a _badass_," Puck said with a grin. "Only chick awesome enough to turn down Puckzilla."

"Dude, you want to hit that?" Finn sounded disbelieving.

"Hey! Don't you dare say anything bad about Lau!" Kurt snorted at his exclamation. "What?" Puck snapped.

"You're so whipped, Puckerman," Kurt said with a smile, "and you don't even realize it."

"Bullshit." Kurt frowned at him for the swear. "No chick tames Puckasauras."

"Calling yourself stupid pat names is a total turn-off, by the way." Kurt looked horrified as soon as the words came out of his mouth.

"That's what Lau would say," Puck said with a grin. To further embarrass the already pink counter tenor, Puck asked "So, what's a turn-_on_, Kurty?"

"A, that is not my name. B, sounds like a question for your girlfriend, Noah." Despite his calm words and even tone, Kurt flushed pinker.

"Well, I already know that answer," Puck said with a wink, causing Kurt to blush even harder.

"La, la, la, la, I'm not listening to you." The words sounded almost melodious, or maybe that was just Kurt's voice.

"Why does everything that comes out of your mouth sound like a song?" Puck asked, fake-annoyed.

"Maybe because those are actual lyrics?" Kurt offered, staring as if entranced at the Halo game they were playing.

"Wanna try?" Puck offered. The small drama queen would probably be terrible, but Puck could be polite... sometimes.

"I'd be horrible at it." Kurt murmured something else under his breath, probably something rude about himself.

"Well, so is Hudson, and I still play with him." Finn didn't glare at Puck, instead choosing to glare at the screen he was intently staring at.

"Don't be mean to Finn, Noah," Kurt said with a sigh, as if he'd had to say this so many times.

"I can't help it, princess, it's just so automatic," Puck said with a grin, killing Finn, who chucked the controller across the room in frustration.

"Do _not_ call me 'princess,'" Kurt said with a sniff.

"Why, did Blaine call you that?" Puck realized how concerned he sounded and quickly fixed it. "Or are you just being prissy?"

"No, Blaine is not a Neanderthal like yourself, and would never call me 'princess.' For one, I am _not a girl!_" Kurt said, exasperated.

"Well, you don't like porcelain, you don't like Kurty, so you're princess. Get over it." Puck stood up as he spoke and grabbed the controller Finn had thrown. "Your turn, princess."

Puck was floored to discover Kurt was practically a natural once Puck had explained the game to him. He would never admit it to anyone, but _Kurt Hummel_ just handed his ass to him at _Halo_! Man card officially revoked.

"Damn, princess." 456,230 to 238,920. _Damn_. "So much for you being horrible."

"Beginner's luck," Kurt said with a shrug, "and I'm not pushing it. Continue kicking Finn's butt, I have homework. Perhaps you would benefit from doing some as well." Puck snorted. Yeah, _right_.

* * *

><p>Wes rapped on the rather intimidating door of the Hummel house. Blaine, the asshole, had informed the Warblers of how is little solo serenade had gone. The council, also known as his best friends, were less than happy with him. Kurt had been amazing for him, and he had screwed everything up. Whomever had been the 'friend' of Kurt's that broke Blaine's nose was probably his favorite person in the world right now. He honestly wouldn't be surprised if Kurt slammed the door in his face, but he was trying to apologize.<p>

"'Lo?" Wes didn't recognize the boy who answered the door until Thad's description sunk in. Mohawk, tan, well-muscled. This was the boy who'd broken Blaine's nose.

"Hello, I'm Wesley Carlton. Is Kurt home?" Wes said warily. This boy probably thought that all the Warblers were horrible people, considering the impression Blaine had made.

"He's upstairs doing homework," the boy said with a roll of his eyes, walking back into the living room. Wes took the fact that the door was still open as an invitation to come in. He had no idea where Kurt's bedroom was, but he would hopefully be able to figure it out without incident. The stair case was right there, after all.

Thankfully, Kurt had left his door open, so Wes immediately saw him. He knocked hesitantly on the doorframe. Kurt probably wasn't very happy to see anything in a Dalton uniform either.

"Hello... oh. Hi, Wes." Kurt didn't sound mad, but he didn't sound happy either.

"Can I come in?" Wes asked hesitantly, standing at the open doorway.

"Well, you're the first person I've interacted with in quite a while that has asked that question," Kurt said with a smile, sounding amused. "Sure." Wes walked in carefully, and then realized standing awkwardly in front of Kurt's bed was as bad as standing awkwardly in his doorway. "You can sit."

Wes sat immediately, grateful for the invitation. "Look, Kurt, I can't stay for long, you of all people know how strict Dalton is about curfews, especially in Stevenson. I just wanted to come here and apologize, as the spokesperson for the Warblers, for Blaine's actions. He told us about his _incredibly _inappropriate serenade, and what he had done. It was completely out of line, and seemed uncharacteristic of him. I understand if you never want to talk to anyone from Dalton again, and I'm certainly not encouraging you to get back together with him. I'm just hoping you don't hate us because of what Blaine did. And give my praise to whoever broke his nose." Wes rattled off his apology at breakneck speed, looking everywhere but at Kurt, hoping the counter tenor wouldn't cry, scream, or kick him out of the house.

"Why, exactly, would I be upset with the entirety of the Warblers for the actions of one Warbler, vocal captain or otherwise?" Kurt sounded amused, and Wes looked at him. "I'm not upset with you, Wes, or with Thad, or David, or any other Warbler but Blaine."

"Oh. Well, then, as a friend, can I tell you that I'm sorry he was an asshole?" Kurt's face lit up in a genuine smile.

"Of course." Kurt surprised Wes by hugging him. The counter tenor wasn't extremely tactile at the best of times, maybe he just needed the comfort. "I've... made my peace with him, I suppose. We're not friends at the moment, but maybe someday. I think we have too much history to not be _anything_ to each other." Wes smiled as Kurt let go of him.

"You two have the strangest history of any couple on the planet." Kurt snorted.

"You should hear the story of my brother and Rachel. There isn't a more messed up couple in the world then the two of them, I promise you." Kurt seemed happy, despite everything.

"I'll take your word for it, I suppose. But please, do not tell me the story." Kurt laughed. "I'll talk to you later?" Wes and Kurt had never been very close, but that could change.

"Definitely." Kurt returned to his school books, and Wes headed back down the stairs.

"Are you one of Lame's friends?" Wes heard a voice call after him, just before he reached the door.

"If by 'Lame,' you mean 'Blaine Anderson,' yes, I am. Not that I'm particularly happy with him at the moment." The voice snorted.

"Join the club. Hey, tell that van Heusner dude to put itching powder in Blaine's underwear." Wes had to laugh, because it sounded exactly like something Thad would do.

"I'm sure he'll think of it on his own," Wes called back.

* * *

><p>"Well, it's been an... interesting week, guys. Is there anything else someone would like to share?" Mr. Schue sounded hesitant, and Kurt couldn't blame him. All the musicals numbers from <em>Rumours<em> they had done that week only seemed to _cause_ drama, instead of _fix_ it.

"I'd like to share something," Santana spoke up from the back, and Kurt couldn't help but be excited. Santana's voice would sound _incredible_ on some of Fleetwood Mac's songs. "Before you losers say anything, this isn't _for_ anyone. I just wanted to get the assignment done, alright." Of course, everyone in the room (except, perhaps, for poor, clueless Sam) knew that meant the song was for Brittany. Hopefully, Brittany knew that too. "Band geeks, help me out."

_For you, there'll be no more crying,  
>for you, the sun will be shining,<br>and I feel that when I'm with you,  
>it's alright, I know it's right.<em>

_To you, I'll give the world,  
>to you, I'll never be cold,<br>'cause I feel that when I'm with you,  
>it's alright, I know it's right.<em>

_And the songbirds are singing,  
>like they know the score,<br>and I love you, I love you, I love you,  
>like never before.<em>

_And I wish you all the love in the world,  
>but most of all, I wish it from myself.<em>

_And the songbirds keep singing,  
>like they know the score,<br>and I love you, I love you, I love you,  
>like never before... like never before.<em>

Regardless of Santana's claims, she locked eyes with Brittany and sang the entire song to her. Brittany seemed on the verge of tears at the end, and Artie looked extremely mad. Apparently, they had a falling out of some sort that Santana comforted Brittany about, and Santana was taking the advantage Artie had given her.

Kurt couldn't help but sigh, because _that_ was an appropriate serenade. He could _feel_ the emotion in Santana's voice, and everyone else except Brittany looked a little uncomfortable.

"That was very nice Santana." Kurt had to disagree with Mr. Schue's compliment. As emotional as Santana's performance was, it wasn't the best showcase of her voice.

"Yeah, whatever." Santana rolled her eyes and walked directly towards the back of the room to sit next to Brittany, clearly not caring what everybody else in the room thought.

"Is there anyone else who would like to share?" Puck, surprisingly, was the one to raise his hand, and Kurt wondered what mixed reactions _Gold Dust Woman_ would receive.

"Lau and I have been working on a duet. It's supposed to be Stevie Nicks bitching about Lindsey Buckingham, but like... optimistic about their relationship. Whatever. We still sound badass." Kurt almost laughed, because the description of the song was so... Puck.

_I don't want to know the reasons why  
>love keeps right on walking down the line.<br>I don't want to stand between you and love,  
>honey, I just want you to feel fine. <em>

_Finally baby,  
>the truth has come down now.<br>Take a listen to your spirit,  
>it's crying out loud.<br>_

_Try to believe!  
>You say you love me, but you don't know<br>you got me rocking and a-reeling.  
>Oh!<em>

_I don't want to know the reasons why  
>love keeps right on walking down the line.<br>I don't want to stand between you and love,  
>honey, I just want you to feel fine.<em>

_Finally baby,  
>the truth has come down now.<br>Take a listen to your spirit,  
>it's crying out loud.<em>

_Try to believe!  
>You say you love me, but you don't know<br>you got me rocking and a-reeling.  
><em>

_I don't want to know the reasons why  
>love keeps right on walking down the line.<br>I don't want to stand between you and love,  
>honey, take a little time.<em>

There was hesitant clapping as everyone tried to figure out exactly what the song meant for Pizes. It could be a break-up, or a make-up, or... anything really. In a way, Puck's description was scarily accurate. Kurt, for one, was surprised he had done his Fleetwood Mac research. Someday, he would learn to stop underestimating Puck.

"Puck, Lauren, that was very nice." Kurt felt like saying 'Actually, Mr. Schue, Lauren's voice sounded like nails on a chalk board. I understand you needed a warm body, but come on. Puck, however, sounded very nice, no matter how confusing the message behind his song of choice was.' However, he remained silent.

"Whatever," Lauren scoffed. "Can we leave now?" Why had she joined Glee in the first place? Kurt honestly could not figure it out!

"Sure, guys, dismissed." Puck went to put his guitar away, swearing mentally as Rachel began to talk.

"Kurt, I couldn't help but notice Sam was wearing your old Earth Day jacket made of recycled hemp. I can't say I'm honestly surprised at this point." Puck whipped around just in time to see all the color drain out of Kurt's already pale face.

"I don't what your talking about, Willow." Santana laughed. She'd made that reference before.

"Honestly! First Puck, now Sam. I thought Blaine broke up with you because you wouldn't put out, not because you put out for _everyone_!" Everyone turned to stare horrified at Rachel. Kurt looked ready to break down in tears at any second, and Puck was honestly thinking about hitting a girl for the first time in his life.

"I..., I..." Kurt stuttered.

"You're such a slut. At least he doesn't have a girlfriend." Puck had never seen Sam anything but easy-going, even when he had visited him in the hospital with the team. Now, he looked _pissed._

"I'm not sleeping with Kurt!" he exploded. Puck had to wonder, had he seemed that much of an asshole? Not that Sam was an asshole, but to anyone who didn't know the situation, he sounded like one.

"Then explain the jacket! Explain why we caught Kurt sneaking out of that motel on multiple occasions!" Rachel shrieked back, making everyone within a five-foot radius cover their ears and wince.

"Sam, you don't have to." Puck swore mentally. Even while being called a slut by the world's most frigid diva, Kurt wasn't thinking about himself. And he threw this kid in the trash?

"No, I do!" Sam stood up and began to address the entire club. "Kurt was bringing me some clothes, and helping me baby sit my little brother and sister."

"In a motel?" Santana asked, with a distrusting look.

"That's where I live now!" Everyone looked horrified. Oddly, Puck noticed, they had looked more horrified when Rachel accused Kurt of being a slut. "My dad lost his job a few months ago, then we lost our house, so now we live in that motel, in one room. Are you all happy? The truth's finally out." Sam clearly hadn't been getting lessons from Kurt or Rachel on diva-storming-out, but the shock left in his wake made the exit impressive.

"Who... who knew?" Rachel, of course, didn't apologize immediately. First, she had to know how many people had been keeping this secret from her. Typical. Could she be any more self-centered?

"I knew." Quinn stood up. "I had been helping Kurt baby sit when I could. Honestly, he's there almost every day." Quinn, Puck knew, was trying to make Rachel feel even _more_ guilty. That would work... if she had feelings.

"I knew." He raised his hand with a cocky smirk. "I helped Kurt carry some boxes in. Don't tell Sam, but I'm pretty sure most of the stuff in there was new." He was on board with making Rachel feel a little miserable.

"Kurt, I'm so sorry. I..." Rachel trailed off. Puck couldn't blame her. How could you hurt a person so deeply on a dumb assumption?

"It's alright, Rachel." And there Kurt went again, making Puck want to hit his head off of a brick wall. Why was he _so damn nice_, and how the hell could he forgive her? "I'm not mad. Though, honestly, I cannot see why you were _so_ concerned, it had nothing to do with you." Rachel flushed a little. Kurt, apparently, was amazing at subtle paybacks.

"I'm sorry, again," Rachel avoided the question. Kurt just smiled.

"I'm not the one you all need to apologize to, Rachel my darling. You too, brother dearest, if only for spying on him." Kurt raised an eyebrow at Finn, who suddenly got that gassy-infant-guilty look of his.

"How do you apologize to someone for something like that?" Kurt smirked at the tiny diva.

"Well... clothes I can give him, and toys I can get for his little siblings. The one thing he doesn't have back is his guitar. Just think about that." And Kurt once again proved how much of a failure he was at subtle.

* * *

><p>To: Kurt<strong><br>'Wnna met at Sonic?'**

From: Kurt_  
>'As if I would ever eat anything sold at Sonic! *shudders*'<em>

To: Kurt**  
>'Stp being such a snob, prncss. i cant think of a reson 2 excse me frum this dum ftball thing 2 cum 2 ur hous, but sonic the duds get.'<strong>

From: Kurt_  
>'Why would you need an excuse? And you are aware that'<em>

To: Kurt**  
>'The guys...'<strong>

From: Kurt_  
>'I get it, Noah. I'll meet you there in a few minutes.'<em>

To: Kurt**  
>'K. m srry.'<strong>

Puck sighed, because even through _texts_, Kurt sounded angry. It wasn't anything _personal_, at least not for him. The guys just wouldn't be cool with him announcing 'Hey, I'm leaving the cool jocks to go hang out with the queer kid we used to throw in the dumpster.' Not now, and, to be realistic, probably not ever.

* * *

><p>On the other side of town, Kurt sighed as well. He didn't really have a right to be angry with Puck. He was hanging out with the meatheads because he was on the football team (or he had been), and that was what he needed to do to gain respect. Kurt could understand that, he really could, but it still hurt. However, he took pride in the fact that Puck would rather hang out with him then the Neanderthals (Finn was the exception).<p>

Kurt quickly checked his hair and smoothed over the wrinkles in his shirt automatically. Once he thought about it, why had he done that? Puck didn't care about his clothes, and he didn't care what Puck thought. Rather, he shouldn't...

"Bye, Dad," Kurt said to his father on his way out the door. He was sitting watching the Deadliest Catch re-runs (thankfully not eating anything back for his heart).

"Where are you going, kiddo?" Kurt paused and turned. Whenever he left the house, his dad said 'be home at a reasonable time, or call.' He _never_ questioned where Kurt was going, he trusted him.

"Out with a friend," Kurt said with a shrug. "I'll be home in a bit." He turned back towards the door.

"What friend? Where?" Okay, this was weird. His dad worried, of course, but he trusted Kurt to make his own plans and have his own friends.

"I'm meeting Noah at Sonic," Kurt said hesitantly, walking into the living room. He knew his dad wasn't Puck's biggest fan, even though Kurt had tried to make Burt trust the jock.

"That Puckerman kid?" Burt asked, mouth tight.

"Yes. Except he has a first name, and it happens to be 'Noah,'" Kurt said with a sniff. What business was it of his dad's?

"I don't like you spending so much time with him." Burt didn't like this kid, 'Noah' reminded him too much of himself at his age.

"I think I'm perfectly capable of making decisions as to who I hang out with. I've been doing so since I was old enough to get around on my own." When had his dad ever shown an interest in where he was until now?

"Which was _last year_, kiddo, in case you forgot." It was reasonable, but it still seemed ridiculous to Kurt.

"Well, we can stand here arguing a moot point, or I can go to Sonic. I choose option two. Goodbye, Dad." Kurt ignored his father's protests and walked out the door.

* * *

><p>"Hey." Well, it wasn't like Puck was hiding away in a corner with him. He had chosen a centrally-located table with a huge plate of fries and two slurpies.<p>

"I hope you don't expect me to drink that or eat any of those. Slushies loose their appeal after they've ruined half of your wardrobe." Kurt immediately felt guilty at Puck's expression. It was meant to be a joke.

More for me," was all he said with a shrug. The conversation lapped into not-entirely-comfortable silence. Puck was stuffing fries in his mouth (not quite as grossly as Finn did) between sips of slushie. Kurt wrinkled his nose. So much for him having impeccable-for-a-jock eating habits.

"Whuhs op?" Puck mumbled through a mouthful of fries.

"Chew before you speak, because I can't understand a work you're saying."

Puck rolled his eyes as he followed Kurt's directions and repeated his statement. "What's up?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Kurt said flatly. Was he really that obvious?

"You're pissy and quiet. Obviously, something's wrong." Kurt glared at him. "Pretty but not dumb."

Kurt snorted and muttered "you wish" under his breath before answering. "Nothing. I just had an argument with my dad before I got here."

"You only had like fifteen minutes! Someone's quick to get in trouble," Puck joked. Kurt did not seem amused. "What about?" he asked, taking a few fries.

"You," Kurt said bluntly, shocking Puck by taking a fry himself. "Whether or not I should be allowed to hang out with you."

"So, you're here without permission? Badass!" Puck was half-teasing, holding out his fist. Sadly, the only thing Kurt did was look at it suspiciously. "Pound it," Puck instructed, half-saddened, half-amused. Kurt did, and Puck thought to himself that no one else but Kurt would look so awkward doing something most guys did everyday.

"I find it less than amusing. I hate fighting with my dad." Kurt frowned. "He's all I have." Puck remembered the empty look in Kurt's eyes when Burt's life was hanging in the balance after his heart attack.

"Yeah," Puck thought of his mom, "I get that."

"So... what was that song supposed to mean?" Kurt asked, taking another fry and a sip of his slushie (which Puck hadn't actually drank from). "You and Lauren are such a... unique couple." Kurt couldn't think of a better word.

"Yeah. Minus the fact that she's a prude, it's been pretty awesome. She held out on dating me forever and then stood me up! What other girl would be badass enough to stand this up? We even joined the celebacy club for a few days. Plus, I like a woman with curves. I even wrote her a song, and I promise that's not as gay as it sounds," Puck rambled.

"You appear to have forgotten who you are talking to," Kurt said dryly. Puck must have looked guilty because, well, he had. "You seem to have had an.. interesting relationship so far, though, to be honest, you never look very much like a couple."

"Yeah, 'cause if I kiss her on the cheek, she slaps me!" Kurt laughed. Lauren was quite the woman.

"I thought that's what you liked about her," Kurt commented, smiling slightly.

"Yeah, it gets old." Puck sounded surly.

"Stop being such a baby, Puckerman.," Kurt teased.

Puck snorted. "Let's just say I've become reaquainted with my right hand."

"Noah!" Kurt exclaimed.

"Stop being such a baby, princess," Puck mocked Kurt, who glared at him, still slightly flushed from Puck's comment. It was actually a cute combination. Wait, what?

"I hate you," Kurt declared.

"You love me, princess."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: And he does! Anyway, I wrote this entire chapter in the last two hours. ANY HALO ENTHUSIASTS, I APOLOGIZE. I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT, I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S A HIGH SCORE, AND I'M SURE I WOULD BE TERRIBLE AT IT. This is mainly just a filler chapter, I'm trying to address (in my random, roundabout way) Luck or Pizes (whichever you prefer to call them). I hope you guys like this, and I apologize, because I'm pretty sure it's been a while since I updated.**

**Songs used:**_  
>'Songbird'<em> by Fleetwood Mac_  
>'I Don't Want to Know'<em> by Fleetwood Mac

**Reviews are Love.**


	6. Don't Stop

**A/N: Can I just say, once again, that I really don't hate Rachel. She's just an easy target to help move plot lines along. However, her character really annoyed me in 'Rumours,' so she reflects in a bad way during this part of the story. She and Kurt will once again be friend later on.**

* * *

><p>Puck and Lauren, Kurt knew, weren't the kind of couple to talk for hours on the phone. So Kurt was surprised when Puck called Lauren during a Glee Girls (and Kurt) sleep over. Rachel had thrown the party, and it was obviously an apology to Kurt. Not that he was accepting, but it was a nice gesture. Of course, there was so much awkward tension in the air, between Santana and Brittany (who had some sort of disagreement), Lauren and Quinn (who still disagreed because of the Lucy Caboosey incident), and Rachel and... well, everyone.<p>

"Aren't you going to answer that?" Rachel asked, staring at Lauren's still-ringing phone.

"I'm almost positive he's drunk," Lauren replied with a snort. Well, knowing Puck, he probably was. "Probably just looking for phone sex," she added with a roll of her eyes, and that was pretty accurate too.

"You know, I don't think you give him enough credit," Rachel said with a frown. "He can actually be a nice guy, if you let him." Lauren, of course, ignored her. "Kurt," Rachel began hesitantly, "how did you know about Sam's... situation?"

"He delivered a pizza to Dalton, and considering Westerville is two hours away, it seemed odd that he would be working anywhere that would deliver. I may or may not have grilled him for twenty minutes before he finally told me." Kurt shrugged.

"So, Blaine knew too?" The girls were less hesitant to mention Blaine after the Kiss You All Over incident.

"Yes, he did. I told Noah only because I needed his help, and Quinn found out at church." Rachel, it seemed, was plotting something, and that usually turned out about as well as Kurt's plans.

"We're going to go visit him, Finn and I. We owe him an apology, and the least we can do is, as a whole club, raise the money to buy back his guitar," Rachel stated firmly, with that suspicious sparkle in her eyes.

"And do you know, exactly, where his guitar is now?" Santana asked with a smirk, but Rachel didn't deflate for a moment.

"Quinn must. Do you?" Rachel turned to Quinn, who made a face before admitting that Sam had sold the guitar to a friend of the church who she knew quite well.

"I suppose I could convince him to sell it for the same price he bought it for. Heaven knows what that price may be," she added with a slight frown.

"Well then it's settled! We can apologize to Sam by buying him back his guitar!" Rachel smiled brightly in a very show-biz way.

"Excuse me, Rachel, but some of us have nothing to apologize for," Kurt cut in, voice cold. "Some of us have already worked hard to help him out by caring for Stacy and Stevie, getting them toys, and bringing Sam clothes."

"Kurt, there's no need to be petty," Rachel said with a roll of her eyes.

"Excuse me. Did you just accuse me of being petty? After you publicly accused me of sleeping with Noah because you were stalking Quinn to get back in Finn's good graces? Honestly, Rachel!" Kurt snapped.

"I already apologized for that! Why does everyone always blame me for everything!" Rachel cried, just as angrily.

"We only hold you accountable for your actions, which you seem unable to do! Just because your dad spoiled you like a princess, doesn't mean that the whole world looks beyond your numerous flaws!" Kurt continued, obviously releasing some long-built-up steam.

"Everyone blames me for everything that happens just because I do the right thing!" Rachel cried. She was getting teary-eyed, but Kurt wasn't sympathizing for one moment.

"When have you ever done the right thing and been blamed for it?" Kurt snapped, hating the frustrated tears stinging his eyes.

"How about when Quinn, the hoe, slept with your precious 'Noah' and got herself knocked-up! I told Finn, like she should have from the very beginning, and everyone blamed me when he was upset with her! If she had never been such a slut, Sectionals never would have happened!" Everyone looked shocked again.

"What do you mean 'my precious Noah'?" Kurt asked, confused. That was honestly where his brain had stopped paying attention.

"Oh, please! Even if you're not sleeping with him, everyone sees the way you look at him! Honestly, he is way out of your league, even if he does have a thing for Cheerios!" Rachel responded cattily.

"I don't know what you're talking about. Noah used to throw me in dumpsters, Rachel. Do you think that's something I could ever forgive him for?" Kurt's voice had quieted.

"Then why do you call him Noah?" Rachel asked, just as quietly.

"Why do you?" Kurt shot back.

"I asked first!" Rachel said triumphantly.

"What are you two, five?" Santana commented from where the other girls had been watching them fight on the bed.

"He's not the same person anymore, Rachel, but that doesn't mean I can completely forgive him." Kurt almost felt bad about lying, but, only because it was Rachel, he didn't. The first part was true, but (whether he had wanted to or not) he had forgiven Noah for their past. "He threw pee balloons at me. Pee. Balloons," Kurt emphasized carefully. Rachel wrinkled her nose.

"Maybe you have a point," she admitted. "But I'm still suspicious!" she announced, sitting back down on the bed. Kurt ignored her.

"What have we become?" Brittany asked quietly, and everyone turned to look at her. "I mean, Rachel and Kurt always fight because they're so alike," both divas went to protest and were shut up by a look from Santana, "but I don't like fighting with Santana, or having Quinn be mad at Lauren, or arguing about things that are already said and done." All the girls and Kurt looked around the room at each other.

"Wow, Brittany, that was possibly the most intelligent thing I've ever heard you say," Quinn said in a hushed voice.

"She's right," Kurt added. "It's called 'the past' for a reason. No matter how hard we try, we can't change it."

"Maybe Mr. Schue's right," Rachel offered. "We are like Fleetwood Mac. We have so much complicated history and explosive chemistry that we will fight. There will be tears and lies and break-ups and loves, but we're like a family. All of us," she added with a look at Santana, who turned her nose up.

"So," Mercedes began, "no matter what," she reached out to grab Kurt's hand and soon they were all holding hands in a circle on Rachel's bed, "we've got each others' backs."

"That includes no matter who wins Prom Queen. Quinn, Santana, Lauren," he addressed the three candidates, "we're more then friends. We're a family, no matter who's Queen and who's not." The three nodded slowly.

"Who do you think will win, in all honesty?" Quinn asked.

"Honestly," Rachel began, "you. I mean, you're the picture-perfect Prom Queen: head of the cheerleaders, dating the quarterback, beautiful and smart. You're fairly well-liked, and you certainly put your heart into the campaign." Quinn beamed.

"At the same time, it could be Lauren. She's the underdog, but sometimes the people want to vote for someone who's more like them, and didn't try and change who she was for the sake of her popularity," Kurt said carefully. 'Lucy Caboosey' was still a sensitive topic around Quinn.

"True," Quinn admitted with a smile. "I have to say though, I honestly couldn't live as Lucy. I wasn't strong enough to endure the crap people gave me for just being me. I don't know how you do it Kurt." Quinn smiled at the counter tenor.

"I protect my heart, or I try. Some things, some people, I've let in too easily, and that's the worst pain of all. I learned, if I don't let people in, they can't hurt me. Life stinks for now, but it'll be easier in New York." As he spoke of his after-high-school destination, he smiled at Rachel, who smiled right back.

"Yeah, I couldn't do that," Quinn admitted. Kurt shrugged.

"I promise that I'm not as delicate as my skin color makes me seem." Everyone laughed at that.

"Santana?" Rachel asked hesitantly. "Are you honestly 'in love' with Karofsky?"

"No. To be honest, I only said that to help him convince you all that he meant no harm to Kurt, and to convince Kurt as well. I was even mouthing his speech to him, he's not that good with words," Santana said with a roll of her eyes.

"What happened between you two anyway?" Tina asked curiously, and everyone turned to look at Kurt.

"Girls are so nosy!" Kurt exclaimed, fake-annoyed. "It's none of your business, any of you, although I suspect Santana already knows."

"If you know what I know because of what happened, I'm a little worried," Santana admitted.

"I'm touched, Santana, but it's nothing to worry about. If it was something that needed to be worried about, I would not be back at McKinley." Kurt could tell perfectly well what Santana was thinking, and, while David had scared him and that moment would probably scar him for the rest of his life, it wasn't nearly as drastic as Santana was thinking.

"Good," was all Santana said, and now everyone else in the room looked confused.

"Can I film this for Fondue for Two?" Brittany asked, and Kurt and Santana immediately looked horrified.

"No!" they chorused.

"Fine," Brittany said with a pout, but, for once, Santana ignored her.

"So, what are you lovely ladies wearing to the prom?" Kurt quite obviously changed the subject.

"Mine is a perfect blue, with a sequined bodice, a tight, thick tie around the waist, and then a airy skirt which pretty much plunges straight down. It has thick, see-through straps which come to a V in the back." Quinn motioned to the areas of the dress as she talked.

"Sounds beautiful," Kurt said with a smile. "How about you, Rachel?"

"I'm not actually sure if I'll end up wearing it, but it's pale pink with a sweetheart neckline. It's not a full gown, it comes down to about my knees, and it's actually pretty plain. A tighter top with a simple, thin ribbon around my waist, and the same type of skirt as Quinn's, actually." Rachel smiled.

"I can't say I didn't expect you to be covered in sparkles, but I'm sure you'll look gorgeous."

"Lauren, Brittany, Santana, and I are all picking out our dresses next week," Tina said when Kurt raised an eyebrow at her. "You should come help us."

"I'd be happy to. What about you, Mercedes?" Kurt asked, smiling at his best girl.

"I'm not going," she said flatly. All the girls gasped.

"Mercedes!" Quinn said, shocked.

"You have to go!" Santana demanded.

"It'll be no fun without you!" Rachel added.

"Wow, attack of the beauties. I'm not going, I don't have a date." Mercedes' tone said 'that's final,' but that never worked with the Glee girls.

"Neither do I! Maybe we can get Sam to come with us and go as a group!" Rachel offered. "That'd be amazing, especially because he already turned down my offer to go together." All the girl but Quinn looked shocked at Rachel's... confession.

"You are aware that could be because of the money thing, correct?" Quinn asked with a soft smile.

"Well, I'll see what I can do." And, from Rachel Berry, that was that.

"Let's play a game," Santana said with a grin.

"I have an idea!" Rachel exclaimed, and Kurt groaned. "Since we were talking about our pasts earlier, what's one thing you would change about your past if you could?" Now everyone else groaned, but agreed to play only to appease Rachel.

"I'll start!" Rachel offered excitedly, and nobody argued. "I would never have dated Jesse. It was a mistake to let someone so untrustworthy into my life, especially after you all warned me." Rachel frowned as she spoke, and Quinn took her hand.

"I would never have slept with Puck. I don't regret..." Quinn swallowed audibly, "Beth for a moment, but I regret hurting Finn, because he is such an amazing guy." Tina took her hand.

"I regret hurting Artie. I was very fickle moving on from him to Mike, and I understand why he blew me off that summer. After all, I did ditch him to be a counselor at Asian camp. I couldn't expect him to change his plans to fit my schedule just because I thought my work was more important than him." Mercedes took her hand.

"I wish I had never joined the Cheerios. I know I made an impact doing _Beautiful_ at that assembly, and dueting _4 Minutes_ with Kurt was fun, but I wasn't being true to who I was." Kurt took her hand.

"I would never have transferred to Dalton. I don't regret meeting Blaine or how that ended, but I regret running away from my problems instead of facing them head-on. I could have made a change, but I was a coward instead." Brittany took his hand.

"I shouldn't have joined the muckrakers. I just wanted to feel important and to make everyone notice that I could be a smart journalist, not just a gossipy Cheerio. I guess I went about it the wrong way." Santana took her hand.

"I wish I had never started sleeping around. Being known as 'Slutty Sanny' isn't the greatest feeling in the world. I know I brought it upon myself, but it still sucks." Lauren took her hand... very hesitantly.

"I wouldn't have dated Puckerman." Everyone looked at her surprised. "I know he's awesome for my popularity and everything, and he can be a sweetheart sometimes, but I don't really want a boyfriend, and I guess I just caved to his relentless advances." Rachel took her hand, and somehow they were back in the circle. Lauren's phone rang again.

"Here, you answer it." Lauren tossed the phone to a very surprised Kurt, who almost dropped it while trying to withdraw his hand from Brittany.

"Hello?" Kurt asked into the tiny flip-phone.

"_You're not Lauren_," Puck's voice sounded way too confused for him to be sober at the moment.

"It's Kurt, Noah," he explained impatiently.

"_Why isn't it Lauren?_" Okay, Puck was definitely drunk.

"She didn't want to answer the phone," Kurt said with a sigh. This could be a difficult conversation.

"_Can you tell her something for me?_" Kurt sighed again.

"Of course, Noah." What horrors was he about to hear?

"_I hate assholes that do things like this, but it couldn't wait. We're done, Pizes. She's a petty bitch who hurt Quinn, and I lover Quinny like a sis. I'd never date a fake._" Puck slurred as he talked, but the message was obviously sincere.

"I'll tell her," he promised the boy on the other side of the line before hanging up. Tossing the phone back to Lauren, he informed her of the call. "He just broke up with you. Something about the whole thing with Quinn and you being petty. I'm not sure if he meant it though, he was slurring pretty badly."

"Whatever, we're still running partners," Lauren said with a roll of her eyes. "Honestly, what the difference?"

* * *

><p>"Where's Sam?" Rachel asked once she walked into rehearsal. For once, she wasn't the first one there, and she immediately panicked. Typical. "Please tell me he didn't decide to quit!"<p>

"Sam was going to quit?" Poor Mr. Schue, he always had to deal with Rachel's craziness.

"He's under so much pressure with his family and I'm not sure that his main priority right now is Glee Club!" Rachel exclaimed. Mr. Schue nodded his head as if to say 'that makes sense.' "But it should be," she continued, "because music can get you through some of the hardest times in your life."

"I have to agree with Rachel," Kurt added airily. "But I don't think Sam quit. I think he's just going to be a little bit late." Honestly, how did Kurt know everything?

"Everyone sit down." Once everyone had settled, Sam, Stevie, and Stacy walked through the door as if on cue.

"Hey, guys! I'm sorry we're late, but I was hoping to get Stacy and Stevie out of the motel for a little bit. I have a song I want to sing to them for the assignment," Sam looked hopefully at Mr. Schue.

"The more the merrier," the teacher encouraged with a smile.

"Kurty!" Stacy exclaimed, stumbling up the stairs to jump on the counter tenor's lap.

"Hey, there, sweetie. I've missed you." The little girl wrapped her arms around Kurt's neck, and Kurt rewarded her by dropping a kiss to the top of her head. "Your pigtails are very cute, by the way. Did Sam do those for you?" Kurt smiled at the blond boy, who looked suitably embarrassed when Stacy nodded.

"Hi, Noah!" The little girl said cheerfully, waving at the now-blushing badass.

"Hey, little lady," Puck greeted smoothly. Wasn't the little girl afraid of him anymore?

"Can we go to the auditorium to do the song, Mr. Schue?" Sam asked, and grinned when Mr. Schuester nodded.

"Q!" The little boy brightened up. Quinn smiled.

"Hey, Stevie." The ex-cheerleader stood up smoothly and grabbed Stevie by the hand to lead him to the auditorium as he chatted her ear off. Kurt stood up, carrying Stacy carefully, and the rest of the room followed suit, following the tiny Evans' to the auditorium.

All the Gleeks climbed up on the stage and clustered around the piano as the music started.

_**Don't stop!  
>Don't stop!<strong>_

**If you wake up and don't want to smile,**_**  
>if it takes just a little while,<strong>_**  
>Open your eyes and look at the day,<strong>_**  
>you'll see things in a different way!<strong>_

_**Don't stop thinking about tomorrow!  
>Don't stop, it'll soon be here!<br>It'll be better than before!  
>Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone!<strong>_

**Oh! Oh! Oh!**_**  
>Oh! Oh! Oh!<strong>_

**All I want is to see you smile,**_  
>if it takes just a little while,<em>**  
>I know you don't believe that it's true,<strong>_**  
>I never meant any harm to you!<strong>_

_**Don't stop thinking about tomorrow  
>Don't stop, it'll soon be here<br>It'll be better then before  
>Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone<strong>_

_**Oh! Oh! Oh!  
>Don't you look back!<strong>_**  
>Don't you look back!<br>Oh! Oh! Oh!  
>Don't you look, don't you look now<strong>_**  
>back!<strong>_

Yeah, yeah, yeah!**  
>Don't you look back!<br>Don't you look back!**_  
>Don't you look back!<br>Don't you look back!**  
>Don't you look back!<strong>_**  
>Don't you look back!<strong>

_**Don't stop thinking about tomorrow!**_

Everyone was just dancing around the stage and laughing, playing with the little ones and smiling. Sam's troubles had unified them all in a way nothing else had. They were like a big family again, all love and support. It didn't hurt how adorable Sam's little siblings were. The entire club was wrapped around Stacy and Stevie's little fingers.

At the end they all clapped and cheered, the little ones giving out high fives and adorable, toothy smiles.

"Thanks you guys," Sam said with a smile, and was rewarded with a round of hugs.

"We've been horrible lately, Sam, but we all support and love you," Rachel said with a very sincere smile.

"Hey, Stacy-bear, I have a surprise for you and your brother if you'll wait here a moment," Kurt promised the little blonde, trying to pry her off his legs. Kurt was obviously the little girl's favorite.

"Kurt..." Sam started, _again._

"Hand-me-downs! I promise!" Kurt said with a giggle, rushing out of the auditorium. Sam turned to Puck.

"You remember as well as I do that last time he gave me 'hand-me-downs,' right?" Puck laughed. The counter tenor had all the enthusiasm of the Easter bunny sometimes.

"Yeah, I do. Remember, I had to carry them?" Puck said with a roll of his eyes. Sam gave him a martyred look.

Kurt returned in record time. Knowing him, he had probably run the whole way, just because he was excited. Naturally, because he was himself, there was not a single hair out of place on his head.

"Stevie, I have a surprise for you!" he called across the stage, and the little boy practically bounced over.

"What is it? What is it? What is it?" Stevie asked excitedly.

"Well, Sam might have mentioned to me how much you love the Transformers..." Kurt said with a grin, pulling out what was obviously a brand new action figure. Stevie practically squeaked and tackled Kurt with a hug. "My, my, I can see you're training this one to be a little football player already," Kurt teased Sam.

"That doesn't look very much like a hand-me-down to me," Sam said suspiciously. Kurt ignored him.

"My turn now?" Stacy asked, practically bouncing.

"Patience is a virtue, Stacy-bear," he teased the little girl, pretending to dig around in his bag. He did so until Stacy dug her nails into his arm. "Ow! Alright, already!" Kurt said with a big smile. "Ta-da!" Puck almost gasped in shock as Kurt pulled out Coco the bear.

"It's so pretty!" Stacy squealed, grabbing the toy from Kurt's hands.

"That bear's very special to me, Stacy-bear, it was given to me by my mommy." Everyone turned to look at Kurt, shocked, when Kurt said that. "Coco has always made me feel better when I get a little sad, and I hope he does the same for you, sweetie." Stacy hugged the lithe boy.

"I love you, Kurty!"

"I love you too, Stacy-bear," he promised the little girl, hugging her tightly. The little girl ran off to show Quinn her new bear. Puck headed for the countertenor who was reorganizing his bag, but Sam got there first.

"Kurt, you didn't have to..." Even Sam seemed shocked.

"Jeez, does news fly around in this town. Even the new kid knows about my mom," Kurt said in a dry voice. "I wanted to give Stacy something that had sentimental value, and Coco definitely does. Besides, a seventeen-year-old boy shouldn't need a teddy bear anymore." Kurt gave Sam a thin smile.

* * *

><p>"Why did you give Stacy that bear?" The Glee guys had been jealous that the girls had a sleep over, so they decided to hang out at the Hudmel house and play video games until they all crashed. It was the 'manly' version of a sleep over. Puck cornered Kurt in the kitchen after about two hours.<p>

"I already said that I wanted to give Stacy something that had sentimental value," Kurt replied.

"Why?" Puck asked. He couldn't figure out this boy's mind.

"Because she's a little girl, Puck, and she's going through a hard time, and I wanted to give her something to make her feel better!" Kurt answered, clearly annoyed.

"But that bear means a lot to you. Even I'm smart enough to figure that out." Puck continued to trail Kurt around the kitchen as he bugged the counter tenor.

"You're not dumb, Noah," Kurt said with a roll of his eyes. "And hopefully, Coco will mean a lot to little Stacy too. Maybe someday, she'll remember how she got it, and she'll give it to some little boy or girl that needs the comfort."

"You're really cool, you know that?" Puck grabbed Kurt's arms and spun him around so he could look him in the eyes.

"Why, thank you. I try," Kurt said with a smile.

"How about you come and play video games with us?" Kurt looked uncertain. "You are a guy, after all, princess, and I totally get to claim that I taught you how to play Halo." Kurt grinned.

"Alright."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So, this chapter was kind of short and had weird sections, but it ended where I wanted it to, at the end of Rumours. So, next chapter will start Prom Queen! I apologize for the small Puckurt interaction in this chapter, but we needed to do Don't Stop and get rid of Pizes, it was necessary. I also needed to fix all of the problems I made in New Directions.  
><strong>

**Song used:**_  
>'Don't Stop'<em> by Fleetwood Mac

**Reviews are Love.**


	7. For the First Time

**A/N: Grr... I was so excited for no top notes, then realized you guys needed vocals parts.**

**Puck singing****/rapping**_  
>Kurt singing<em>**_  
>Puckurt singing<br>_**Random lyrics

* * *

><p>"Prom!" Mr. Schuester announced, capping his marker. "That's not only our theme this week, it's our assignment. You all have to prepare songs for the Junior Prom. Solos or duets, but, please, guys, no big group numbers."<p>

"What about those of us who aren't going?" Mercedes asked, and Kurt sighed. Hadn't they already discussed this?

"All of you are expected to be there, unless your song isn't chosen to be performed." Mercedes grumbled at Mr. Schue's answer, because she knew hers would be picked (she was that amazing). Kurt placed a hand on her shoulder as a clear 'we'll talk,' and Rachel threw her a smile. "You will all be performing your numbers for the group, and the top... let's say, four or five performances will be done at Prom. You can all make as many combinations as you want, and one person can be in multiple numbers."

"Mr. Schuester, I-" Everyone groaned as Rachel began to talk, but Mr. Schuester ignored all of them.

"You will have the rest of this period to coordinate and practice your numbers." Alas, Rachel would not be deterred, and she followed Mr. Schuester into his office, prattling on.

The moment Mr. Schuester shut the door, the room burst into movement. Everybody rearranged their chairs and positions in the room so that they could plan numbers. Artie bumped into Puck's ankles to get his attention as Lauren talked to him about 'campaign strategies.'

"We should do a duet. As unorthodox as it was, _One Love_ was a great number, and we could kill something more modern," Artie said, pushing his glasses up on his nose. Puck almost snorted (who used words like 'unorthodox'? Besides Kurt, that is) but he had to agree.

"Cool. I'll be right back, babe." Puck didn't know that it was futile to act as a couple in front of the glee club, because the girls (ahem... Rachel) had already spread the word around, but he and Lauren were still pretending to be a couple to win votes.

Kurt, who seemed immune to the pre-Prom buzz, was sitting in the corner with Mercedes and Santana, who seemed to be planning what promised to be another awesome duet (_The Boy is Mine_ was... _damn_), turned away from the conversation.

"Hey, princess," Puck said with a grin, plopping into the chair next to the small diva. Kurt really did hate that nickname.

"Hello, Mr. I'm-an-obnoxious-Philistine-so-I-have-to-have-a-pet-name-for-everyone. State your business." Puck rolled his eyes at his dramatic friend. Divas. They were all the same.

"I was wondering what song you were considering for our assignment," Kurt opened his mouth to talk and Puck cut him off, "and don't even try to lie that you don't have an idea yet. You can deny it, but you and Berry are pretty damn alike." Kurt looked offended.

"I am nothing like that screechy, fashionably-challenged dwarf, thank you very much. As for your question, the best idea I had for a song is a duet, and, alas, I have no partner." Kurt frowned. "Sad, because, as esoteric as the movie it's from may be, it's certainly a good song."

"What kinda song, princess?" 'What does esoteric mean?' was the better question.

"Well, it'd be a slow song, I suppose. The kind you slow-dance to, at any rate." Puck shrugged. It didn't sound

so bad.

"I could be your partner. _Duet_ partner, princess, no dirty thoughts." Kurt ignored Puck, it was starting to become routine between them.

"It's a love song," Kurt sounded resigned.

"And?" So what? It was just a dumb duet at Prom. Everyone else could go fuck themselves for all Puck cared.

"You, Mr. Uber-straight-hyper-masculine-over-testosteroned-jock, would sing a love song with and to the school queer?" Kurt asked with a raised eyebrow. The word 'queer' sounded all sorts of wrong from him.

"You shouldn't call yourself that," Puck said with a frown. Kurt was supposed to be prissy and stuck-up, and other people were supposed to try (and fail) to knock him from his throne.

"You have," Kurt said bluntly, and Puck winced because, yeah, he had. "The word 'queer' in itself means no harm. Technically, it just means 'odd,' which I will admit I am sometimes. The intention behind it is what transforms an ordinary, every-day, historically commonplace word into a slur." What sixteen-year-old (or was Kurt seventeen?) talked like that.

"You sound like a stuck-up brat, you know that?" Puck said with a roll of his eyes. "So, what's the song?"

"You wouldn't have heard of it," Kurt giggled. "Or maybe you have, but you certainly wouldn't recognize it." Kurt bit his upper lip. "If you're serious about doing this, come over to my house later and I'll teach you the song."

"Cool, princess." Puck leaned over to ruffle the soprano's hair, causing Kurt to shriek indignantly and immediately pull out a compact to try and repair the damage. Puck laughed. Divas.

"Well, that was cute," Quinn said with a laugh, and Puck walked towards her, leaning against a music stand by her chair.

"What do you mean?" He had come to think of Quinn as his sister, someone to advise him and someone he

had to protect at the same time.

"Nothing. You just seem very... comfortable around Kurt," she said with a smile, almost like she was... proud?

"Why the fuck wouldn't I be?" Quinn rolled her eyes, obviously thinking 'boys are morons.'

"Let's see, early last year you were throwing him in the garbage and slamming him into lockers. Now, you're all buddy-buddy and doing a duet together, if I heard correctly," she said with a shier smile. This was nice Quinn.

"Eavesdropping, Q?" Puck said with a smirk. He didn't really mind nosiness from Quinn, but anyone else would get punched for spying on him.

"Well, it's not like you were whispering in each others' ears or anything. It was a perfectly audible conversation, which gives me a right to listen to it." Puck raised an eyebrow and Quinn flushed. "So I was eavesdropping, what does it matter?"

"I don't mind it from you," Puck said before he could stop the words and Quinn smiled brightly.

"Good. Now, I should go plan a number. Rachel," she made a face as she spoke the soprano's name, "will doubtlessly have talked Finn into the perfect duet. Whether it is with me or her is the question. Honestly, I thought she was getting better," Quinn rolled her eyes, walking over towards her boyfriend.

"This stinks," Mike announced from behind him, where he was practicing some of his awesome dance moves. He and Mike were never really close, but they could certainly get along.

"Tell me about it," Puck said sympathetically (even though it didn't really stink at all).

"Tina's doing a dance duet with Brittany, and it's a 'girl thing' apparently, and Artie's working with you, so I don't have anyone to help me out with a dance number. Think Mr. Schue will let me off the hook?" Puck shrugged. Who knew with Schuester? "That's just what I wanted to hear, Puckerman."

"I hear you're getting discouraged," Rachel appeared out of nowhere and Puck had to resist the urge to groan out loud. Kurt caught his eye and grinned as Puck mouthed 'save me,' shaking his head and returning to his conversation with Mercedes.

"Not all of us can sing like you, Miss Berry," the moment Mike said the words, Puck grinned. "You rap, I sing?" Mike asked, and Rachel looked very confused, but Puck nodded. Everyone knew that song.

**Miss Berry, girl, you jazzy,**  
><strong>that's way past fine.<strong>  
><strong>Girl, you look like something that should be on the dance line.<strong>  
><strong>Incredible by the waist,<strong>  
><strong>plus she got a pretty face,<strong>  
><strong>Miss Berry, Miss Berry!<strong>

Mike danced around Rachel, making some _dirty_ gestures and even grabbing her waist as Puck rapped (or tried, he was no Artie). Everyone in the room was laughing at Rachel's absolutely shell-shocked expression.

"Get off me, you hooligans! I am not some object to be thrown around, unlike _some_ of us," Rachel shrieked, glaring at Santana as she spoke. As hard as she tried, her insults just lacked sting.

"Relax, Miss Berry, we were kidding," Puck said with a snort. Honestly, how uptight could a girl get? No wonder he never made it past second base.

"Idiots," she huffed, storming off to her own little corner. Everyone else was grinning at her scandalized glare.

* * *

><p>"Hey, dude," Finn greeted him. "What're you doing here? I have a date with Quinn in like five minutes." Puck almost snorted. Honestly, did Finn think the whole world revolved around him?<p>

"Kurt and I are doing a Prom number," Puck explained, pushing past Finn to go up the stairs.

"Dude, are you sure that's a..." Finn's voice trailed behind him, but Puck ignored it. He was a badass, he could do whatever the fuck he wanted. He could sing a duet with a dude, hell, he could sing a duet with a dude while wearing a _dress_ and he would still be King of the School, Prom King votes be damned. Badassness didn't help you win lame titles like Prom King.

"Open up, princess," Puck said, rapping on Kurt's door. He was surprised to hear an almost rock beat surging out of the soprano's room. Kurt liked all those lame show tunes and Celine Dion and shit, why was he listening to rock? Well, it was no song Puck recognized, but it sounded like good old 80s rock.

I thought I had the kind of love  
><span>you find in fairy tales,<span>  
><span>but then my girl ripped out my heart<span>  
><span>with her plastic press-on nails.<span>  
><span>So, if you know the kind of pain<span>  
><span>this loser's singin' of,<span>  
><span>well, let me hear you say it,<span>  
><span>I'm a casualty of love.<span>  
><span>Just a casualty of love.<span>

"You can come in, Noah," Kurt called, quieting the music. The brunette was sitting on his bed with his US History book, probably studying, the loser.

"Princess, are you _studying_?" The only answer Puck got was a roll of Kurt's eyes. "What song was that? It sounded a little too badass to be on your iPod," Puck asked, earning _another_ roll of Kurt's eyes.

"It's _Casualty of Love_ from _The Wedding Singer_. So, actually, it's a little too prissy to be on _your_ iPod, Neanderthal." Kurt didn't actually mean that, and Puck knew it.

"Thought it sounded a little off, but it's still pretty cool. It's like show-rock." Kurt scoffed (what most would call a 'snort' was a 'scoff' according to Kurt).

"'Show-rock,' like it's not rock because it's from a Broadway show. Whatever." Kurt pushed his books off of his bed, surprisingly not caring for the way they splattered on the floor in a mess.

"Aren't we supposed to be rehearsing a crappy love song?" Puck asked with a snort, plopping on Kurt's bed and kicking at his textbook.

"Why do you assume all love songs are crappy?" said the one listening to 'Casualty of Love.'

"Have you listened to your own song lately? Plus, love friggin' sucks. It's only for saps and bitches, no one else actually gives a damn about all that romance shit." Kurt gave him a disapproving frown, and isn't he the recently-broken-up-with?

Love's a trick, love's a trap  
><span>Love's a hot chick with the clap<span>  
><span>Love's a hoax, love's a tease<span>  
><span>A pinata full of bees<span>  
><span>Love's a joke, love's a scam<span>  
><span>A Sergeant Slaughter body slam<span>  
><span>Love's a wound, watch it bleed<span>  
><span>Love's the only thing I...<span>

"Just because you haven't found someone special, doesn't mean there isn't someone out there for everyone." Kurt rolled his eyes at Puck's shrug, and moved over to turn off the show tunes (thank God).

"Wasn't Blaine supposed to be your 'someone'?" If looks could kill, Puck would be baked into a meat pie and sold to the unsuspecting public. Maybe he should stop pouring salt into unhealed wounds.

"The song," Kurt obviously changed the subject, "is from an... interesting children's movie, actually. But it's not the kind of _High School Musical_ one, two, and three song you would expect. It's actually pretty deep, lyric wise, and their casting was... okay. It's called _For the First Time._" Pulling out sheet music (and between him and Berry, the club must spend hundreds of dollars on sheet music _weekly_) and playing the song, Kurt gestured to the part that said 'Nikko' and started singing along to the music.

_Sometimes, it's hard to see  
>what's been there all along.<em>**  
>Sometimes, we're sure of everything,<br>till we find out that we're all wrong.**_**  
>Now we're standing here, face to face,<strong>  
>nothing feels the same.<em>

_**For the first time,  
>I realize something I didn't see before.<br>For the first time, looking in your eyes,  
>suddenly there's so much more,<br>something we both feel inside for the first time.**_

_How did we ever end up here?  
>I don't know, but it feels so right.<em>**  
>The last thing, I ever expected,<br>is **_**happening**_**, it's you and I. **_Ohhh.**  
>There's something real,<strong>_**  
>I can't explain, <strong>_oohh,_ **and nothing feels the same.**

_**For the first time,  
>I realize something I didn't see before.<br>For the first time, looking in your eyes,  
>suddenly there's so much more,<br>something we both feel inside for the first time.**_

**I can't find the words,**_**  
>For how I feel about you,<br>just want to be around you now.**  
>I never imagined,<strong><br>that someone could make me feel the way you do. **_

_**For the first time,  
>I realize something I didn't see before.<br>For the first time, looking in your eyes,  
>suddenly there's so much more,<br>something we both feel inside for the first time.**  
><em>

_Oohhh**  
>For the first time.<strong>_

"It wasn't horrible," Puck admitted gruffly. Kurt, though, looked horrified.

"We shouldn't do this song." Excuse him, but wasn't _he_ supposed to be the one freaking out here? "It was a dumb idea, it's not even that good a song, I should have never asked you to duet this with me, I'm sorry," Kurt rattled off apologies, snatching the sheet music out of Puck's hand and practically stuffing it back in his drawer.

"What the hell's your problem?" Kurt was actually pretty cool when he was singing, and his voice (though Puck would lose his man-card for saying this out loud) was totally awesome.

"I'm sorry, this song's meant for people that have feelings for each other, and I have no feelings for you whatsoever. This was as dumb as my idea to duet with Sam, I just can't stop... I think you should leave," he announced abruptly, much calmer.

"Why?" Puck was pretty comfortable right where he was, thanks.

"Because I'm doing it again," Kurt answered cryptically, staring Puck down. Princess was out of his mind if he thought there was any chance of Puck losing a staring contest. He'd punched a _cop_, there was no way he was losing this battle to twinkle toes.

"Doing what?" Kurt's reasoning was stupid, he guaranteed it.

Kurt murmured something he couldn't hear under his breath before repeating "I think you should leave." Well, that was helpful.

"I'm not moving an inch until you tell me what fucked up thing you're thinking now." Kurt glared, but Puck ignored him.

"I'm making you uncomfortable," Kurt said flatly, and Puck almost laughed, only, if he had, he probably wouldn't have made it out of the house alive.

"Says who?" He was actually quite comfortable. Kurt had really soft sheets and, later (when he was thinking clearly), he would probably kill Puck from wrinkling them or something.

"My dad, Finn, everyone." Why exactly was Kurt to one looking at Puck like he was an idiot?

"Well, they're dumb then. I'm quite comfortable, you have nice sheets." And cue Kurt's dynamite glare. Too bad Puck wasn't intimidated by people that weighed about half as much as he did.

"You shouldn't be! I'm doing the same thing to you that I did to Sam, only what's attracting you to the idea is telling other people to 'go eff themselves' instead of a rather noble code of honor." Puck rolled his eyes, but was kind of amused. Kurt was seventeen, and he didn't even swear.

"'Go eff themselves'? I would never say that," Puck acted mock-offended, and it clearly wasn't appreciated. "And when did you do this to Sam?"

"You were too busy 'cracking skulls and lifting weights,'" Kurt said sarcastically. "We had a duet competition while you were gone, and I asked Sam to sing with me. Finn pointed out that would ruin Sam's reputation and make him uncomfortable, therefore pushing him out of the club, so I withdrew."

"First of all, Finn's a fucking idiot, don't ever listen to him. I learned that when I was seven. Second,

that's shit. There were only eleven people, you can't have a duet competition with one person left out!" Only Schuester would think of something that dumb.

"I sang by myself, using some cleverly crafted _Victor/Victoria_ idea." Kurt didn't sound sad about it in the least, but Puck kind of wanted to punch someone's face off. Who the hell would let someone sing a _duet_ _alone_? Way to tell Kurt that nobody gave a fuck about him!

"That's bullshit! And now you have some frickin' dumb idea that by staring longingly at frankenteen all last year, you're now in the habit of molesting people." Scratch his last thought, he wanted to punch _Finn's_ face off. Who said something like that?

"Well, he's kind of right, even my dad agreed. I guess I just don't know what 'no' means." Puck snorted. Wasn't Kurt supposed to be the smart one in the room?

"Dude, when did I ever say 'no'? If anyone in this little... thing of ours said 'no,' it'd be you. When did Sam ever say 'no'? He's cool with it. When did _Finn_ ever fuckin' say 'no,' for that matter? He can say you stalked him all he wants, but somewhere inside his inflated head, he liked the attention." Kurt looked very doubting, but, brothers or not, Puck knew Finn better than Kurt ever would.

"Whatever you may say about my past issues with Finn, I still don't think we should do the song. Figgins would probably shut down the whole Prom in the name of Jesus, and I don't think the student body would be very pleased either. Besides, the lyrics aren't very appropriate to us, _What is This Feeling_ would be a better song." Puck snorted, because the dumb principle would probably do exactly that. Tina had made a big joke about how he thought it was alright to dress like Elvis because he was a Christian.

"As long as it's not a show tune." Kurt scoffed at that. Hadn't Puck just been enjoying _The Wedding Singer_?

"It wouldn't work for our voices. Maybe Rachel and I, someday. _What is this feeling, so sudden and new? I felt the moment I laid eyes on you. My pulse is rushing, my head is reeling, my face is flushing. What is this feeling, fervid as a flame? Does it have a name? Yes! Loathing, unadulterated loathing!_" Kurt sang to himself.

"Sounds more like lust to me," Puck deadpanned, and Kurt had to laugh because, well, it did.

"You know what they say about love and hate. _They're like two brothers who go on a date_," he sing-songed before remembering who he was talking to.

"What?" Puck snorted, and Kurt flushed.

"Musical reference. Anyway, I'm sure you'll do your duet with Artie at Prom, Rachel will come up with something phenomenal, as will Mercedes, and the dance duet between Tina and Brittany sounds promising, excuse the pun, so there are our four numbers." Kurt's words were a dismissal, Puck knew the sound well.

"Can't we just chill for a while?" Kurt's shocked expression would have been amusing if it weren't so sad. Honestly, they were friends, and Kurt expected Puck to not want to hang out with him?

"A-Alright," Kurt stuttered, and, if Kurt were a girl, it would have been cute.

* * *

><p>"Ladies, I appreciate you welcoming me into the sacred inner sanctum that is the Prom gown dry run," Kurt said from in between Tina and Brittany on the uncomfortable and completely ugly couch provided by the store for proud parents and bored boyfriends.<p>

"Why did we decide to include Kurt?" If the comment had come from anyone but Brittany, it would have been malicious, but she was probably just confused as to why Kurt would need a Prom dress.

"Because getting a look past him is like a thumbs up from Joan and Melissa Rivers. It just might increase our pre-Prom buzz factor," Tina replied. Anyone who didn't know her would be surprised she was so excited.

The two girls on the couch had already chosen their dresses. Brittany's was a knee-length lime green with a gold belt and a puffy skirt in red that fit her personality and would move fabulously with the accomplished dancer. Tina had chosen to stick with her Goth persona with a black knee-length dress with a ruffled skirt and red laces down the bodice.

The rustle of skirts quickly got the audience of three's attention. Kurt choked back a laugh as Lauren emerged in a _hideous_ yellow dress with a full-length ruffled skirt that made her look quite a bit like a lemon.

"I look like a lemon meringue pie," Lauren sounded upset, but was clearly trying to sound amused. Her description was more accurate, considering the built-in, fuzzy white shawl around her shoulders.

"I think you look delicious," Brittany commented. Tina gave her a look, obviously thinking the same thing Kurt was. Is she serious or kidding?

"Don't despair. Nobody bigger than a size two looks good in a Prom dress. They're practically designed to make us look awkward. I think the color is wrong." That shade of yellow, or yellow at all, to be honest, didn't flatter Lauren's skin tone. "Let's go navy! It's sleek and slimming."

"Duly noted!" Lauren said with a smile, and Kurt was glad he made her feel better about the dress.

"Oh my God!" Brittany gave him a sideways look, and just for a moment he felt awkward, but dismissed it. She was all smiles. Kurt allowed a self-satisfied smirk to flit onto his face for a moment as Santana walked out. It was nice to hang out with his girls, and as long as he didn't think too hard or long about what happened with Blaine, he was fine. It would be nice to have his best friend back sometime, but not now.

Snapping himself out of his thoughts, he commented "Devil in a red dress. Perfect and it's totally appropriate for your personality. I have no criticisms. Go with God, Satan... Santana." Apparently, thinking about Blaine still caused him to lose the ability to speak properly. Not only had he referenced a mythical being, he had called Santana 'Satan.' The comparison was accurate, but it was still rude.

The dress that had earned his approval was sleek and red, with one ruffled sleeve and a slight mermaid effect at the knee. It fit Santana's attitude perfectly (as he'd said), as well as being reminiscent of the Bullywhips. He wouldn't be surprised if she wore the beret as an accessory.

Santana continued to gloat at the praise being given from the couch (mostly by Brittany). Kurt couldn't help but notice that Santana's choice coordinated with Brittany's dress, wondering if it was subliminal or intentional. Mercedes eventually pushed her out of the way, looking unhappy in a _gorgeous_ purple dress. Kurt had managed to convince her to join them in the Prom dress hunt, completely ignoring Rachel's 'Prom on a budget' idea. Rachel was lying about what she would do for a dress, so Mercedes might as well do the same.

The dress was bedazzled to perfection, sparkly but not tacky. There were gems tracing her bra-line and up, pulling the dress into slight ruffles. A shawl covered the straps, but the dress had a sweetheart neckline. The dress was full-length with a ruffled bottom that didn't work on Lauren but worked on Mercedes.

"You look _fabulous_!" Kurt exclaimed. Risking the wrinkles, he ran forward to hug his girl. "You look _amazing_." Santana glared on in envy.

"Kurt, you know we told Sam that we were getting dresses at the Goodwill." Mercedes, he could tell, was resisting the urge to smile. It was honestly the perfect dress on her. Kurt rolled his eyes. Mercedes and Sam shared their ridiculous code of honor.

"If it makes you feel guilty, I'll pay for it." And he could. His dad had been encouraging him to go to the Prom since he casually mentioned to Finn that he might not. It was nice that Burt cared, but Kurt had no desire whatsoever to attend a Prom _stag_. However, it also meant that when Kurt had mentioned Prom shopping, Burt had handed over his credit card immediately.

"Don't you _dare_," Mercedes glared with a fire that Kurt knew was fake. She wouldn't be overly happy with Kurt if he paid for the dress, but she wouldn't be upset either. Besides, that dress probably cost less than most of the items in his closet.

"Don't tempt me," he said with a smile. "You look fabulous. Sam will love it."

"Kurt, this is_ not_ a date," Mercedes insisted firmly, and Kurt rolled his eyes. He was honestly only teasing his girl, but that didn't mean he couldn't have fun with it.

"Because it's a complete coincidence that he only decided to go with the group after you were a part of it." Kurt actually had a valid point, but Mercedes was incapable of hearing him out.

"Because he didn't want people to think he was going to Prom with _Rachel_." The two laughed at that.

"Tomato, to-mah-to, I think you should get that dress. Rachel already has a dress, so she broke the whole Goodwill thing too," Kurt wheedled, and Mercedes sighed.

"Fine. Only if you promise me that you'll go to the Prom with us." Never let it be said that Mercedes drove an easy bargain.

"Kurt, you're not going?" Tina asked, and Santana, who emerged with her gorgeous red dress in a bag, dressed in street clothes, snorted.

"Please, who would want to go to Prom _stag_? That's just embarrassing, especially since he just got dumped on his ass," Santana said coldly.

"Aw hell to the naw, bitch, you did not just go there," Mercedes practically snarled before Kurt put a hand on her arm, their silent signal for 'back off, it's fine.'

"I feel no drive or desire at all to attend Prom. Not only do I not have someone to go with, but Prom is just an over-commercialized event designed to give those with a future of pain and misery a happy high school experience, so that, when they're crying over their jobs pumping gas and working at the supermarket, they can remember one night in their life that they actually felt important," Kurt rattled off, not believing a word he said. Of _course_ he wanted to go to Prom, but he wanted to have someone special there by his side, and that wasn't happening.

"You could always ask Blaine to go, as friends..." Brittany's hesitant statement earned her three 'girl, are you crazy?' looks and an impartial shrug from Kurt.

"He'd get the wrong idea. I miss him, but it's too soon." To be honest, he'd never even thought of that idea.

"You could come with us," Mercedes offered, and it honestly didn't seem like a bad idea.

"I might. I can't honestly say that I hadn't picked out an outfit in hopes," Kurt said with a sheepish smile. Somehow, without his permission, that amazing boy in his fantasies that slow-danced with him at Prom morphed into Blaine, and he had had high hopes (not those kind of hopes).

* * *

><p>"Dude, you'll never believe what I just heard!" Finn came home on a rampage the next day.<p>

"Actually, the probability is that I'll believe you, considering I probably knew what you're talking about before you did, but, by all means, continue on your rant," Kurt said sarcastically, looking up at his brother from his English homework. Iambic pentameter was an absolutely ridiculous meter to write anything long in, and he refused to read anymore.

"Jesse St. James is back in town and he's joining Rachel for her Prom thing!" Finn yelled.

"I hate to break it to you, Finn, but I'm right here, so you can calm down a little, and bring the volume down as well," Kurt responded automatically. What he was truly thinking was 'there goes any chance of me going to the Prom.'

"Why does Rachel think it's a good idea to trust him after he threw eggs at her? He was a horrible boyfriend in the first place!" Finn was quieter now, but he seemed just as frustrated.

"Maybe Rachel's just trying to get over the hurt," Kurt offered, and Finn stared at him, obviously confused. "I mean," Kurt clarified, "it must be killing her that you forgave Quinn for doing something much worse than she did, but you can't forgive her. In her own, confusing, Rachel way, she's actually doing her best to support the two of you."

"She said she's dying inside every day, or something like that," Finn admitted, sitting across from Kurt.

"Well, there you go. Rachel's hurting. If she can forgive you for sleeping with Santana, she can forgive Jesse for turning her into a human omelette. No double standard." Finn was quiet for a bit, and Kurt groaned mentally as he turned back to Hamlet. Really, all the title did was make him think of 'omelette' which made him both hungry, and annoyed with Jesse.

"How is what Quinn did much worse that what Rachel did?" Finn asked after a few moments, and Kurt welcomed the distraction from his homework.

"Rachel made out with Puck, which she had done with you many times, Quinn gave Puck her virginity after being so frigid with you. Rachel told you the truth almost immediately, and Quinn lied to you for months and planned to lie to you for the rest of your lives," Kurt stated factually. He loved both of the girls mentioned, but Quinn had hurt Finn in ways she didn't even understand.

"But Rachel did it intentionally to hurt me, and Quinn was drunk," Finn pointed out, his argument sounding awfully weak.

"It would have been one thing if she had told you," Kurt said shortly. Finn was quiet again, forcing Kurt to return to Denmark.

"Do you think a wrist corsage with a gardenia and a light green ribbon would be good for Quinn?" The question caught Kurt slightly off guard, but it probably had something to do with their conversation in Finn's mind.

"I think that would be perfect. It wouldn't take away from her face and the green would highlight her eyes." How had Finn (his loveable but completely fashion-handicapped brother) come up with that?

"That's what Rachel suggested." Well, that explains it.

"And here I thought Rachel had no taste. Now she just needs to use some of that knowledge on her own wardrobe." At the moment, between the Quinn-Finn-Puck-Rachel-Sam-Jesse love hexagon and Hamlet, Kurt would choose Hamlet any day.

"Be nice! Rachel's pretty cool, and guys look at her funny when she dresses really nice." Finn was obviously referring to Britney Spears week.

"Guys look at her like a piece of meat if she dresses like one. There's a difference between skimpy dressing and nice dressing. Rachel has achieved neither." Shakespeare's longest play seemed far, _far_ too long.

"Why does Quinn always yell at me what I talk about Rachel?" Loaded question.

"Because Quinn realizes that you have lingering feelings for Rachel, no matter how much you try and deny it," Kurt said simply, knowing the denial was on the way.

"Are you going to the Prom?" No denial, but a very obvious subject change.

"No." _Doubt thou the stars are fire; Doubt that the sun doth move; Doubt truth to be a liar; But never doubt I love._ The quote sounded awfully like something Blaine would say, and Kurt couldn't help but think of Brittany's idea.

"Why not?" Of course, he had to have the annoyingly nosy brother.

"Because I don't have anyone to go to Prom _with_." Unless I stooped so low as to ask my ex-boyfriend to go with me as friends, he added mentally, but, knowing Finn, he would probably think this was a good idea... or threaten to beat Blaine up again, who knew.

"Mercedes, Sam, Rachel, and Breakfast Chef are going as a group, you could go with them." Finn tried, he really did, but his insults weren't witty because he tried just a little too hard.

"Here's how that 'group' is going to work. Rachel and Jesse are going to end up acting like a couple, leaving Mercedes and Sam alone to either dance together, or awkwardly stare at each other for the entirety of the night. I would prefer to steer clear of that train wreck."

"Mr. Schue will make you, because your number will be awesome." Finn sounded so hopeful, it kind of made Kurt sad to crush his hopes.

"No, he won't, because I'm not doing a number. Are you?" Kurt desperately tried to get the focus off of him, he really didn't feel like dealing with a nosy Finn at the moment.

"I thought you and Puck were doing something..." Finn sounded a little uncomfortable at the idea, and it revamped Kurt's conviction that the duet with Puck was a bad idea.

"We tried out a number, but it didn't work as well as I thought it would." Actually, their voices had blended together perfectly and it was the exact kind of music the two could agree on, but, let's face it, in current day Lima, two boys couldn't sing a duet in a public setting. "He's doing a number with Artie anyway."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Finn offered awkwardly. "I'm not doing one either, I have to dance with Quinn all night or she'll be really upset because 'we don't seem like the perfect Prom King and Queen, Finn' or something like that. Her freaky campaign is ridiculous, I kind of wish she would stop making me hand out pens... where did she even get pens?"

Kurt shrugged. "You could tell her that you're upset."

"Nuh-uh. You do _not_ mess with Scary Prom Queen Quinn," Finn sounded horrified by the idea, making Kurt laugh.

"Your decision." His eternal hatred of the Kingdom of Denmark aside, he really should read this book. Kurt got up to go to his bedroom in the hopes of focusing on three and a half more acts of torture when Finn caught his arm.

"You should come to Prom, dude. It'll be fun. Maybe I can even pry Quinn off for a number and come dance with you." Finn looked so puppy-dog hopeful that Kurt didn't have the heart to say a flat-out no. However, he did kind of think it was rude that Finn was abusing the fact that it had one been Finn cast in his fantasies as the wonderful man who slow-danced with him at Prom.

"Don't call me dude."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I'm sure the Miss Berry thing has been done before, but I couldn't help myself. I'm sorry I got rid of the kilt, but I feel the Prom Queen thing is even stronger without it. Plus, there's not Blaine drama to make it particularly important, and no Blaine to save him either. And I will have *fun* messing with the Prom numbers, because I hate Friday (and not even Mark Salling's hunkiness can make it okay), I can't do the one with the really long ass title because it's sung by Blaine, and I really didn't like Lea Michele's version of Jar of Hearts. I'm also sorry for the long wait for update (I can't seem to write on vacation. Now that I'm home, I wrote this chapter in 3 hours [from 11 to 2 in the morning, because that's totally healthy]), and the lack of Puckurty interaction in this chapter, but set-up must be done.**

**Songs used:**_  
>'Miss Berry'<em> by Hurricane Chris_  
>'Casualty of Love'<em> from The Wedding Singer_  
>'For the First Time'<em> from Spectacular!_  
>'What is This Feeling?'<em> from Wicked_  
>'The More You Ruv Someone'<em> from Avenue Q (the love/hate line)

**The book quote is from Hamlet. Duh.**

**Reviews are Love.**


	8. Prom

**A/N: I'm not really addressing/editing the whole Karofsky thing in here. I think the show actually did a really good job with that (so far. I don't want to tempt fate/RIB) and I really don't want to do anything with it. So, to save me the trouble of watching and obsessively transcribing that scene, can we all just know that happened as is in canon and move on? K thnx bye :)**

**So, long authors notes. Sorry. May I just say that I *hate* anonymous reviews only because I can't answer them? So, to whomever posted the anonymous review last chapter... I'm answering you right here. The story starts after the cut, for those of you who don't care.**

**First, hi! *waves* I love people that take time to drop a review, especially a long one like yours. Second, I'm a music geek. I have over 6 thousand songs on my iTunes, three iPods, and I'm obsessed with Glee to the point that I write FanFiction. There are going to be songs in my stories, I apologize if you don't like that. If it makes you feel better, you can skip over them. Also, I have to say (as sad as it momentarily made me), I appreciate the constructive criticism. I know my Puck characterization is a little bit off, and I'm trying to work on that, I promise. I'm trying to do Rachel in a non-hater way, I apologize if I'm failing in your eyes. Kurt doesn't know what's up really. That's kind of the whole idea. I'm glad you picked up on that. I appreciate the compliments to my writing style and the OCD that makes my grammar and spelling so good. More fic is right... there -**

* * *

><p>Puck just walked into Kurt's room, barely noticing that he had left the door open as if expecting him. "What are you doing?" he asked the boy by the window. The whole room was dark and it was about ten at night, the time that Puck should head home in order to please his ma. He could only make out Kurt's silhouette, his pale skin practically glowing by the light of the moon. He looked like something out of a fairy tale... or bad porn.<p>

"Being pissed that my Prince Charming is late," Kurt deadpanned, pointing out the window. Puck knew what he meant, of course. It was the night before Prom, and Kurt hadn't decided whether or not he was even going.

"Didn't anyone tell you he's on vacation? He's screwing Princess Jasmine," Puck replied, sitting on the edge of Kurt's bed out of habit. What did it say about him that it was the night before Prom and he was sitting on Kurt Hummel's bed, trying to cheer him up (he didn't care if that's what it would seem like to the observer. He knew Kurt)?

"Isn't everyone?" Kurt shot right back. He didn't actually _have_ to go to Prom. His predictions had been almost scarily accurate (probably because he actually paid attention in Glee club, and actually liked hanging out with most of them, unlike Puck. In his defense, they weren't exactly making lines to hang out with him). Mercedes and Santana were doing a duet of _Dancing Queen_. Rachel had a solo, the title of which she 'refused to reveal to the general audience,' but Mr. Schuester had approved privately (Puck, naturally, had made a jab about what else she and Mr. Schuester did privately).

"They're too busy with Ariel." When had this become the fight of the Disney Princesses? Puck and Artie had done _Break Your Heart_, trying to help out Puck's falling reputation a little. Puck hadn't managed to convince Kurt to even try _For the First Time_ at the auditions, and Mr. Schuester had been no help, considering he had given up on _everyone_ singing something the moment Quinn announced she and Finn would have to dance all night.

"I thought she was humping a racist old man she met while he was streaking on a New York City subway?" Sam was doing _Come On Get Higher_, which was okay. Artie's solo of _Isn't She Lovely?_ had been shot down. Lauren's solo of _Don't Cha_ had made Rachel run out of the room in tears, claiming her ears were bleeding. Brittany and Tina's duet of some-song-he-had-never-heard-of-that-had-awesome-dancing would be a really big hit.

"Have you decided yet?" Honestly, even Puck couldn't best that comeback. Kurt hadn't looked away from his window for the entire conversation (well... banter was a better word for it), but turned now, the room still too dark for Puck to be able to see his face.

"Do you think I should go?" Puck kind of _wanted_ him to go. As cool as Artie was, there needed to be someone else there that he could actually talk to or he'd go mad. Kurt, as weird and crazy as he could be, was actually a pretty cool dude.

"Princess, it's Prom. It's going to be lame no matter what, but you could still have fun." Puck was good at being perfectly honest when he liked the truth.

"And that statement gives me so much incentive to want to go," Kurt deadpanned. The dumb moon was insisting on shining in a way that no matter how hard Puck tried, he couldn't see the countertenor's (for Kurt had very sassily informed him that he was a '_countertenor_ and not a _soprano_ and soprano was a word used for _girls_ not _guys'_ when he was in a bad mood after some fuckhead had slushied him) expression or make out any of his features.

"Just go to the fuckin' Prom already. You're being way too damn dramatic about it. We're talking in a bedroom by moonlight about Prince Charming! It's like something off Lifetime!" Kurt's diva actions made Puck snap. Honestly, it was getting ridiculous.

"Or porn," Kurt pointed out Puck's original thought, offering no reaction to the rest of his mini-rant.

"Come on, dude. I'll even dance with you," Puck offered, realizing a little too late that Kurt probably couldn't see his patented smile for charming the pants off any chick/dude-if-he-so-chose in the darkness.

"You do realize the onslaught of homophobia that would follow would probably lead to a wild mob and the cancel of any future Proms at McKinley." Kurt didn't sound too disappointed with the loss. "What a shame that would be." Kurt paused for a moment before adding, "and don't call me dude."

"_Princess_, I've punched a cop and made out with Lauren Zizes. I'm badass enough to handle anything. I can do whatever the fuck I want." The examples were possibly two of the biggest mistakes he'd ever made in his life, but he wouldn't tell Kurt that.

"Thank you for the charming mental images." Another dramatic pause from McKinley's Queen Diva. "I guess Prom could be fun. I certainly have the outfit for it." Of course, now that Kurt was talking about clothes there was some excitement in his voice. Puck rolled his eyes, grateful that the counter tenor couldn't see him. There were times when Kurt was a pretty cool _dude_, and times when Kurt was a super annoying _chick._

* * *

><p>"You look gorgeous. <em>Both<em> of you," Kurt assured Rachel, looking over the beautiful girls in front of him.

"Tonight is going to be amazing. Guess what! Mr. Schuester agreed that Jesse could join us onstage for tonight. He's considering a solo, or we may even do a duet of _Rolling in the Deep_, because our voices just blend so perfectly..." Kurt and Mercedes allowed Rachel to go on and on as they exchanged looks.

Sam and Jesse would be here soon (since Jesse had agreed to pick up Sam in his car. 'Wasn't that just _so_ nice of him?' as Rachel had pointed numerous times) and then the five would go to dinner. Kurt was worried about being the fifth wheel, but Mercedes had assured him that she would rather have him around then Rachel, and the aforementioned soprano had promised that he would be included. Sometime during her rant about Jesse (and she had accused Kurt of making up relationships in his head!), she had promised Kurt that even _Jesse_ would dance with him, which was a 'kind' offer that Kurt had turned down, not that Jesse even knew he had offered. Rachel hadn't noticed either.

"Mercedes, can I just say that you look _fierce_ in your dress? Also, the boys are here." Rachel pointed towards the door, where Sam and Jesse were looking for their table.

"Hello, my lovely ladies." Jesse either didn't acknowledge him, or included him in 'lovely ladies.' Honestly, Kurt couldn't care less.

"Hey, Mercedes, Rachel, Kurt," Sam looked awfully shy, and Kurt almost cringed at the bolo tie, but politely declined from saying anything. "Mercedes, Rachel, you look great." Sam just gave Kurt an awkward nod, and Kurt resisted the urge to roll his eyes. _Boys_.

"You both look smokin'," Jesse offered with a bit of a smirk, sitting down next to Rachel as Sam sat next to Kurt. "Hello, Kurt."

"Jesse," Kurt said brusquely, not wanting to waste any breath on this contemptible being. He ignored the vicious kick from under the table. Rachel honestly should have realized that he had no interest in being nice to Jesse.

"It's wonderful to see you," Jesse ignored his tone. "Pity you're still single." And if that wasn't salt in the wound, Kurt didn't know what was. Somehow, ignorant comments from Jesse were more annoying and hurtful than purposefully malicious comments from Santana.

"As of now," Kurt said snarkily, as if he had boys waiting in the wings. His comeback earned him another kick from under the table.

"Someone of interest?" Jesse met his eyes and the staring (glaring) contest commenced. Kurt couldn't see one reason Rachel had agreed to return to this bastard.

"I don't believe my love life is any concern of yours. Perhaps it would be more intriguing to hear about the college life." Kurt's shin was sure to have at least one massive bruise decorating it by the end of dinner if this was just the beginning.

"College is different," was all the information Jesse offered, and Kurt smirked. Point Hummel. "I'm really sorry to hear about what happened with your family, Sam." Kurt could feel Sam tense, considering they were so squished in the table that their legs and arms were touching.

"I hope you don't mind that I filled Jesse in on most of what has happened since he left." Rachel gave Kurt a meaningful glance. Clearly, his life had been left out of the particular conversation. Either that, or Jesse St. James really was a deplorable Philistine in his own way.

"Of course he doesn't mind," Jesse cut off any answer Sam would have given rudely. "He has nothing to be embarrassed about. After all, I'm the only person at this table who truly understands how harsh the world can be." Jesse stared directly at Kurt as he said that, and the counter tenor grit his teeth. Point St. James.

"Hey guys! Wow, Rachel, Mercedes, you look amazing!" Quinn and Finn came up before Kurt could offer a retort. Was this really the only restaurant in town? "Don't forget to vote Hudson-Fabray!"

"Hey Jesse. What'd you order? Scrambled eggs? I mean, I know you usually like them served on peoples' heads," Finn said with an uncharacteristic smirk. Kurt was _so_ counting that one as Point Hummel. They were related now, after all.

"Quinn, you look stunning," Jesse offered politely. "The ghost of Grace Kelly. Let me know if you get tired of your boyfriend stomping on your pretty little feet all night, I'd be more then happy to cut in."

"Actually, I think I'll leave Rachel for the experienced dancer, and steal my boyfriend's brother for a dance or two," Quinn tried to diffuse the tension awkwardly, leaning over her ex-boyfriend (Kurt had a feeling that was not an accident, but a petty move) to kiss Kurt on the cheek.

"Brother?" Jesse asked. "That would explain the distinct lack of IQ."

"You want to talk about IQ?" Kurt snapped back, prepared with an arsenal of witty college drop-out jokes that would have St. James leaving the restaurant in tears in a second, too traumatized to ever watch _Grease_ again.

"Hush, you guys. You're totally ruining the vibe," Mercedes scolded the boys. "Quinn, you look hot. Finn, you look handsome. Love you guys, but get lost. We'll see you there." Quinn spared a glare for Jesse (earning her points with Kurt) before following Mercedes' request.

"I was considering doing the song _Shiksa_ _Goddess_ for tonight." All the occupants of the table stared at Jesse like he was crazy (which he was, but for once Kurt wasn't going to have to be the one that points it out to him).

"No one can dance to that, Jesse." Rachel looked offended, and Kurt knew that she actually shouldn't be, but he doubted that she'd heard the song before.

"True. Perhaps you would oblige to do a duet with me? Or I could attempt _Addicted to Love_ by Robert Palmer. It isn't my usual style of music, but I did so well with _Highway to Hell_. My voice is so all-encompassing." Jesse smirked, and Kurt took it as a challenge.

"Perhaps you could do one of my favorite duets with Rachel," he offered, and the two both looked shocked for a moment before Jesse composed himself. Fighting off a smirk, Kurt sang, "_Angel of music, guide and guardian. Grant me to your glory,_" perfectly on pitch, keeping his eyes locked on Jesse's, who looked steamed. Point Hummel.

"Perhaps not all-encompassing," Jesse gritted out behind a false smile, trying to pretend an air of civility lied behind his words.

"Boys, if you two don't stop this little macho manly man-guy fight of yours, I will knock your heads together," Mercedes threatened. Kurt opened his mouth to appease her and was cut off by the buzz of his phone (which his father had insisted he keep on him at all times, no matter how 'classless' he considered it. Kurt decided to keep it inside of his suit jacket, where it would not be as rude).

"Excuse me," Kurt said politely, smiling fake-meekly at his best friend before pulling out and flipping open his phone.

From: Blaine**  
>'Have fun at Prom.'<strong>

Kurt stared at the message like it was an alien until he noticed that Rachel was calling his name, over and over. "Kurt? _Kurt_? _Kurt_!" the annoying soprano snapped him from his slight trance.

"My apologies," he said politely, ignoring the nudge from Mercedes, knowing that she would ask if he was okay.

"This night is going to be amazing," Sam spoke up from beside him, the first time he had talked in quite a while.

"Hell to the yeah! Cheers!" Mercedes yelled, ignoring the glares it earned her from other patrons and the wait staff, holding up her glass to clink others'.

* * *

><p>Mercedes had had to arrive early to Prom in order to do the opening number, taking Rachel with her in her car, and leaving Kurt, Sam, and Jesse to arrive to Prom in the absolutely silent Saint-Bad-Perm-mobile. Once they arrived, Kurt jumped out of the car as though it were on fire, heading towards the Prom without so much as a thank you. Sam was right on his heels.<p>

"Has that guy always been so annoying?" Sam asked under his breath as the two walked in, and Kurt chuckled.

"Yes. Hence our 'little macho manly man-guy fight' as Mercedes dubbed it." Sam cracked up laughing as they politely handed their tickets to the poor freshman that had been coerced into ticket-duty.

To give McKinley credit where credit is due, the gymnasium was decorated quite well, thought tacky. There was a disco ball directly above the crowds, and streamers with lights attached went in every direction. There were also balloons and a light-up star to take pictures in front of. The atmosphere was quite nice in all honesty.

Mercedes and Santana were about halfway into a performance of _Dancing Queen_ as Kurt walked in. The counter tenor winced looking up at the stage, noticing how horribly their dresses coordinated. Considering they shopped together, that could have been planned better. Red and purple did not flatter each other at all.

"Dolphin!" Brittany tackled him, already sweaty from dancing, even though the dance had started about twenty minutes ago. "You look hot," the ex-cheerleader announced, leaning up to peck Kurt on the lips before he could get a word in.

For the record, Kurt mentally agreed with Brittany's statement. He had gone very classic in a black-and-white suit with a pink flower attached to the lapel (Rachel had matched them) and a rainbow handkerchief to make a point.

"Thank you, Britt. You look lovely as always," Kurt tried to politely rid himself of the girl, but she hung onto his arm, dragging him onto the dance floor.

"Let's dance!" Kurt obliged, absentmindedly moving along with Brittany as he looked around. Most people were surprisingly dressed pretty classily, though there were some exceptions when it came to the girls' dresses. Even more surprisingly, Kurt didn't see one couple grinding, as per Figgins' instructions. Perhaps it was just the song.

"How come the gay guys always get the hot chicks?" Artie commented from behind him. More seriously, he added, "I'm glad you decided to come, Kurt."

"Me too," Kurt lied with a smile. He still wasn't entirely sure about Prom. "I'm going to go find Noah." Artie gave him one of those looks, the 'are you seriously getting along with Puck now?' looks, but smiled and wheeled away. "Excuse me, Britt." Kurt twirled Britt onto some unsuspecting guy before ducking out of the dance mob.

"Hey, princess." Kurt almost jumped a foot at Puck's voice from behind him. Clearly, Puck had found him first. "You'll never guess what Mr. Schue asked me to do."

"You're right, I probably won't," Kurt replied, trying to calm his startled heart. "However, I see that Miss Sylvester is watching the punch bowl like a hawk. Perhaps spiking the punch isn't the greatest plan. You could always throw a party and get everyone 'smashed' after Prom."

"Everyone's too busy throwing away their virtues after prom. Haven't you ever watched bad sitcoms? Hell, maybe St. James will even get some tonight." Kurt turned around now to glare at Puck, horrified by the thought of Rachel doing something so stupid. "Kidding. Berry's too frigid for that."

"Hopefully, she's too _smart_ for that as well." Kurt stumbled into Puck's chest as some idiot shoved him from behind, briefly noticing but trying not to dwell on the fact that it was like walking into a wall of muscle.

"Watch it, asshole," Puck practically snarled, pulling Kurt a little farther back from the dance floor. "Anyway, he asked me to sing some lame pretty boy song for the Prom King and Queen dance."

"He expects you to learn a song in three hours?" Memorizing lyrics was one thing, but being able to perform something after three hours of shaky practice is another thing entirely.

"I know the dumb song because my little sister likes it, it was stupid for me to tell him that," Puck grumbled.

"Yes, yes it was," Kurt agreed with a slight smile.

"Why doesn't he have Sam or Finn sing it? Aren't they supposed to be the pretty-boy frontmen?"

"Supposed to be?" Kurt ignored how Puck saying 'frontmen' made him think how amazing it would be to hear Puck sing _One Song Glory_. Actually, it was the perfect song for his life in a way.

"Yeah. In reality, they're just the dumb ones Schue can manipulate." Kurt was about to argue that Mr. Schue wasn't actually a bad person, just an occasionally-bad coach, when Puck cut him off with a, "Gotta fly, 'girlfriend' is here," and a wink, hurrying into the crowd.

* * *

><p>Kurt put his hands on Brittany's hips and obligingly spun in a little, tight circle with her as Rachel sang. Despite the promise from both Mercedes and Rachel that he would be a part of their group, he had yet to see or dance with either of them. Most of this time at the 'happiest night of his life,' had been spent dancing with Brittany, the only truly dateless girl among the New Directions.<p>

Scanning through the crowd again, Kurt noticed Sam and Mercedes dancing with satisfaction. His girl deserved someone nice that would make her happy (well, he better make her happy, or he'll be dead. Kurt knows _exactly _where the shotgun is). Puck and Lauren were spinning in a slow circle, pressed together like a 'couple' should be. Finn and Quinn were dancing together, but Finn kept looking at Rachel, realizing that her chosen (and very appropriate song) was for him.

Kurt locked eyes with Karofsky for a moment before he looked away, back at Santana, who was pressed up against him, but staring at Brittany. He locked eyes with her too, noticing the sadness there before turning slightly so she was out of view. They were such a lie together, even if they looked like a cute couple.

He caught a glance from Tina, who looked like she was in heaven in Mike's arms. Now there was a truly happy couple. They'd been together for almost a year now, no drama and no lies, almost to the point where nobody remembered they were a couple. Tina smiled at him and jokingly mouthed 'Go, Kurt' before turning back to Mike. Kurt rolled his eyes. If Brittany was his idea of a perfect prom date, his life would be a lot simpler.

_How the hell does a broken heart  
>Get back together when it's torn apart<br>Teach itself to start  
>Beating again ba ba ba ba<em>

_This little Bluebird came looking for you  
>Said that I hadn't seen you in quite some time<br>This little Bluebird, she came looking again  
>I said we weren't even friends she could have you<em>

_Don't you think it was hard?  
>I didn't even say that you died<br>But it wouldn't have been such a lie  
>Cuz' then I started to cry<em>

_This little Bluebird sure won't give it a rest  
>She swears that she may be better than all the rest<br>I said no-ohhhh  
>You've got it all wrong<br>If he was something special, I wouldn't have this song_

_Don't you think it was hard?  
>I didn't even say that you died<br>But it wouldn't have been such a lie  
>Cuz' then I started to cry<em>

_How the hell does a broken heart  
>Get back together when it's torn apart?<br>Teach itself to start  
>Beating again ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba<em>

_What if when she comes over I am in your arms?  
>Taking all I want from you again<br>(Ba ba ba ba...)_

_How the hell does a broken heart  
>Get back together when it's torn apart<br>Teach itself to start  
>Beating again ba ba ba ba<br>Beating again ba ba ba ba  
>Beating again ba ba ba ba<br>Beating again ba ba ba ba_

_This little bluebird don't come 'round here anymore  
>So I went looking for her<br>And I found...  
>You.<em>

* * *

><p>Once Kurt had (yet again) torn himself from Brittany's clutches, he turned to find a miraculously alone Quinn behind him. "Hello, Miss Fabray. I don't believe I've yet had the chance to tell you how absolutely gorgeous you look. Every straight man's dream, I assure you, and Finn picked out the perfect corsage for your eyes."<p>

"Not so bad yourself," Quinn teased, smiling softly. "Very classic, I'm surprised." Kurt rolled his eyes. As if he had to be outlandish every moment of every day to be fabulous. "Dance with me?"

"Why, of course." The two friends fell into the easy pattern of high school dancing, grooving to some half-rap, half-vocals song played over the poor speakers. "Where did my wonderful brother get off to?"

"To use the bathroom, I believe." Quinn looked around as though suspicious, then pulled Kurt closer, as though planning on becoming one of the dancers to break the no-grinding rule. "Look, Kurt, I want to talk to you about Puck," she murmured in his ear. As soon as she spoke, the two heard the typical chant of 'fight, fight!' from a few feet away. "Shoot," the soon-to-be Prom Queen murmured, rushing away.

Finn and Jesse were shoving at each other as Rachel tried desperately to pull them apart, yelling 'stop it!' "What are you doing?" Quinn yelled. "You're ruining everything!" Quinn tugged on Finn's jacket, pretty hard from what Kurt could see, but Finn pulled away and swung at Jesse, barely missing.

"Prom is over for you, Sugar Eight. You too, Marvelous Marvin. Let's go!" Sue Sylvester grabbed both boys by their arms and hauled them out of the gym.

"Wait! But, he and I are... nominated for Prom King..." Quinn trailed off, knowing it was hopeless.

"Sucks for you, sister," Sue gave her parting shot, pulling the two boys through the mob.

"This is all your fault!" Quinn screamed at Rachel before running away. Rachel sighed and looked to Kurt, who shrugged helplessly. Finn was in for three long and brutal talks when he got home. Make that four on Monday morning when Quinn got a hold of him.

* * *

><p>Kurt smiled as Puck took the stage with Artie. The two did great duets, and Puck had told him their number would be awesome.<p>

**LUDA!  
>Now I may not be the worst or the best<br>But you gotta respect my honesty  
>And I may break your heart<br>But I don't really think there's anybody as bomb as me  
>So you can take this chance, in the end<br>Everybody's gonna be wondering how you deal  
>You might say this is Ludacris<br>But Taio Cruz tell her how you feel**

_Now listen to me baby (uh uh oh oh)  
>Before I love and leave you (uh uh oh oh)<br>They call me heart breaker (uh uh oh oh)  
>I don't wanna deceive you (uh uh oh oh oh)<em>

_If you fall for me  
>I'm not easy to please<br>I might tear you apart  
>Told you from the start, baby from the start<em>

_I'm only gonna break break your, break break your heart  
>I'm only gonna break break your, break break your heart<br>I'm only gonna break break your, break break your heart  
>I'm only gonna break break your, break break your heart<br>Whoa, whoa_

_There's no point trying to hide it (uh uh oh oh)  
>No point trying to evade it (uh uh oh oh)<br>I know I got a problem (uh uh oh oh)  
>Problem with misbehaving (uh uh oh oh oh)<br>_

_If you fall for me  
>I'm not easy to please<br>I might tear you apart  
>Told you from the start, baby from the start<br>_

_I'm only gonna break break your, break break your heart  
>I'm only gonna break break your, break break your heart<br>I'm only gonna break break your, break break your heart  
>I'm only gonna break break your, break break your heart<em>

**That's all I'm gonna do woman  
>Listen now, I'm only gonna break your heart<br>And shatter and splatter it all into little bitty pieces  
>Whether or not you get it all together<br>Then its finder's keepers and losers weepers  
>See I'm not trying to lead you on<br>No I'm only trying to keep it real  
>You might say this is Ludacris<br>But Taio Cruz tell her how you feel**

_(Eh) and I know karma's gonna get me back for being so cold (eh)  
>Like a big bad wolf I'm born to be bad and bad to the bone (eh)<br>If you fall for me I'm only gonna tear you apart (eh)  
>Told ya from the start (eh)<em>

_I'm only gonna break break your, break break your heart  
>I'm only gonna break break your, break break your heart<br>I'm only gonna break break your, break break your heart  
>I'm only gonna break break your, break break your heart<br>Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa_

Kurt laughed as Puck completely controlled the stage and the audience was clapping along in addition to dancing. Rachel slid up to his side and the two started dancing, playing out the part of the heartbreaker and heartbreakee. Kurt met eyes with Puck as he sang and smiled, but Puck's expression changed slightly.

The song was a warning from Taio Cruz to some slutty girl (yes, he knew she was a slut. He'd seen the video) that he would break her heart. Puck didn't seem to be singing to anyone, even though he was the resident heartbreaker... or as close as McKinley had. After all, Puck didn't really deal in hearts. Yet, for that one moment, Puck could have been... almost singing to him. And that was weirder than anything.

Mercedes' hip bumping into his broke him out of his confusing and random thoughts, and Kurt turned to dance with his girls, not daring to look at Puck again.

* * *

><p>"I'm totally not doing that song," Puck announced to Kurt once he'd gotten off the stage. "He's having Sam do his solo then instead. Face it, I'm too badass to sing any song written by a guy with the last name Goot." Kurt laughed at Puck's expression, wondering but not asking about that moment during <em>Break Your Heart<em>.

"Well, the next number is going to top anything you've ever done in your life, I warn you," Kurt replied as Brittany and Tina took the stage. He took a moment to appreciate the fact that both of their dresses had red in them, subtly tying the performers together in contrast to the horror that was Mercedes' purple and Santana's red.

_Dance, it's all I wanna do, so won't you dance?  
>I'm standing here with you; why won't you move?<br>I'll get inside your groove 'cause I'm on fire, fire, fire, fire  
>It hurts when you get too close, but, baby, it hurts<br>If love is really good, you just want more  
>Even if it throws you to the fire, fire, fire, fire<em>

_All the lovers that have gone before  
>They don't compare<br>To you  
>Don't be frightened<br>Just give me a little bit more  
>They don't compare<br>All the lovers  
><em>

_Feel-can't you see there's so much here to feel?  
>Deep inside in your heart you know I'm real<br>Can't you see that this is really higher, higher, higher, higher?  
>Breathe-I know you find it hard, but, baby, breathe<br>You'll be next to me; it's all you need  
>And I'll take you there; I'll take you higher, higher, higher, higher<em>

_All the lovers that have gone before  
>They don't compare<br>To you  
>Don't be frightened<br>Just give me a little bit more  
>They don't compare<br>All the lovers_

_Dance, it's all I wanna do, so won't you dance?  
>I'm standing here with you; why won't you move?<br>Even if it throws you to the fire, fire, fire  
><em>

_All the lovers that have gone before  
>They don't compare<br>To you  
>Don't be frightened<br>Just give me a little bit more  
>They don't compare<br>All the lovers_

Kylie Minogue had never been the most amazing talent, and, to be quite honest, the video for this song was one, giant, sexuality-bending orgy in a New York City square in broad daylight. Brittany and Tina took the song and turned it into the most amazing display of dancing talent that McKinley has ever seen and will ever see. Think every move Britney Spears has ever done, but with taste, combined with the unique belly-dancing of Shakira (on Brittany's part) and the flowing movements of ballet mixed with today's style of grinding (on Tina's part), and that's only a mere fraction of what they did.

Puck's jaw was actually touching his chest, causing Kurt to laugh at him mercilessly. He had seen the girls practicing enough that he knew it was going to be phenomenal, and he had seen both Brittany and Tina dance enough that he knew the potential for this duet was incredible, so he wasn't entirely surprised. However, he was completely blown away, and _All the Lovers_ was by far the best number of the night, Rachel's ego be damned.

* * *

><p>"Attention." Principal Figgins tapped on the microphone. "Will the candidates for King and Queen gather on the stage?"<p>

Santana was first with a show-biz ready smile that Kurt usually associated with Rachel, followed by some Junior that he didn't know, then a very upset looking Quinn, and then Zizes. The line ended with a mousy looking girl in a fabulous red dress. The boys came in from the other side of the stage.

"The votes are in. This is the moment we've all been waiting for." Perhaps, Kurt mused, the reason no one at McKinley really gets excited for anything is because Figgins is so monotone all the time. "Where we announced are Junior Prom King and also Prom Queen. Roll the drum please." Puck had on his typical confident smirk. "This year's Junior Prom King is David Karofsky."

Kurt sighed as Figgins announced the result. Just another popularity boost to stuff David further back into the closet. To be quite honest, he was going to start finding Christmas presents soon.

Santana was smirking and clapping cheerfully, turned to say something rude to Quinn. Figgins jokingly held the scepter away from Karofsky before handing it to him, and now was the moment everyone had _really_ been waiting for.

"And now, the 2011 McKinley High Prom Queen. An overwhelming number of write-in votes is Kurt Hummel."

* * *

><p>Puck looked out from the stage, ready to call absolute bullshit on Figgins' bluff, when the spotlight fell on an absolutely humiliated-looking Kurt. Mocking wolf-whistles and cat calls came from the audience as everyone onstage kind of looked around in shock. Kurt's face closed off as he walked out of the spotlight and right out of the gym. Shit.<p>

Puck walked right up to Figgins and the microphone. "You're all losers," he snarled into the microphone before stalking offstage and after Kurt.

Luckily, the angry banging on the choir room piano was an excellent indication as to where Kurt had ended up. The swearing in a high-pitched-but-not-quite-girly voice helped too. Puck had to wonder how Kurt moved so goddamn fast as he walked into the choir room. The now-Prom-Queen was standing there, banging on the keys and cursing, not crying, but obviously about to.

"'Sup?" Puck asked, leaning against the wall, ready to face Hurricane Hummel.

"''Sup'? ''_Sup_'? _What do you think is up, Puckerman?_" Kurt screamed, whirling to face the nonchalant jock.

"Apparently, your hackles." Puck resisted the urge to make a dirty joke, thinking it would really not help the situation.

"Oh, _shut up!_ _Like this isn't something you would have planned freshman year!_" Clearly, Puck was an excellent person for Kurt to vent his feelings at. Hopefully, his face would still be in the same perfect condition after this encounter.

"Of course it is. I was an asshole, just like them. Difference is, I actually got to know you, unlike them." Puck looked coolly at the very riled-up counter tenor.

"I thought it was different now." And that epitomized how confusing Kurt can be. One second he's ready to murder someone, one second he's ready to cry. "I thought that because I wasn't being shoved or slushied, that no one cared anymore. I didn't expect people to be accepting, because even God, mythical being that he is, knows that they never will be, but I thought that they had at least moved onto not caring. It's not like I came here with a boyfriend, like I was hurting their precious eyes. I slow-danced with _Brittany_. The only emotion they should be feeling is jealousy." Now Kurt was crying, and apparently the friggin' annoying urge that made Puck want to comfort crying girls extended to crying gay guys. Fuck his life.

"What do you want me to say?" Always a good way to get out of an argument.

"I want you to say that this was all a joke the Glee guys organized. I want you to say that some progress has been made, like there isn't as much hate in this school as there was before I left. I know you can't though." Kurt slumped to the ground, leaning on the same wall Puck was.

"Of course I can. This was all a joke the Glee guys organized, some progress has been made, and there isn't as much hate in this school as there was before you left. Ta-dah," Puck said sarcastically, looking at the boy slumped on the ground. He had never seen Kurt look so small and beaten-down.

"Oh shut up. You know what I mean." Kurt hid his face in his knees and shook his head.

"Yeah." After waiting for Kurt to say something for long enough (by his standards), Puck slumped down on the wall, sitting next to the counter tenor, who was sobbing softly. "What are you gonna do about it?"

"I'm gonna go back in there." Puck wasn't entirely sure he could hear what Kurt was saying, since it was muffled by his knees, but he just made sense of it as he went along. "I'm going to get coronated. I'm going to show them that no matter what they do, it doesn't matter if they are yelling at me or whispering behind my back, they can never change me. They can't even touch me."

"Alright then. Let's go." Puck stood up and offered a hand to Kurt, who didn't take it. "If it helps, I grabbed the mic and said they were all losers." Kurt smiled at that, shakily and still teary. "Dude, I think you need some tissues, you look like crap."

"Don't call me-" Kurt began as he took the offered hand.

"Fine. _Princess_, I think you need some tissues, you look like shit." Kurt rolled his eyes, following Puck's advice and grabbing some tissues from on a random table.

"It was 'crap' the first time," Kurt muttered under his breath, wiping away his tears.

"Yeah, but the more you complain, the worse you look." Kurt glared but didn't respond.

* * *

><p>"Eat your heart out, Kate Middleton." Puck had no idea who that was, but he let out a whoop anyway as Kurt smirked at the crowd like this had actually been a win for him. Honestly, Figgins couldn't at least call him Prom King Number Two?<p>

"And now behold the tradition of our 2011 Prom King and Queen sharing their first dance." Oh shit. Karofsky. Puck could see Kurt's lips moving, probably in an attempt to prevent Karofsky from beating him up Monday morning. The two awkwardly faced each other as the music started, and of course, it had to be a slow song, just because karma was clearly kicking some ass around here.

Puck resisted the urge to start throwing punches as Karofsky walked away, leaving Kurt standing awkwardly alone in the middle of the cleared out circle as Sam started to sing.

_I miss the sound of your voice  
>And I miss the rush of your skin<br>And I miss the still of the silence  
>As you breathe out and I breathe in<em>

Sam looked awkwardly down at Kurt as he sang. The circle was still completely empty save for Kurt and the spotlight, no one had come forward to help him. Now Puck _really_ wanted to start throwing punches.

_If I could walk on water  
>If I could tell you what's next<br>I'd make you believe  
>I'd make you forget<em>

Mentally kicking his butt and telling himself what a moron he was, Puck stepped into the circle. "Why must I always be around to save your sorry ass?" Just as he had at the beginning of the Prom, Kurt jumped about a foot and whirled around to face Puck.

"Who said I need saving?" Kurt's thin attempt at bravado was completely annihilated by his clenching hands, nervous lip-biting, and tear-glassy eyes.

"Dance with me." Puck had learned a bit ago not to just pull Kurt towards him, but to let him make the first move. He still hadn't learned why. "Come on, you're not gonna get a better offer all night." Puck gave Kurt his trademark smirk, and with a roll of his eyes, Kurt hesitantly and haltingly placed his arms around Puck's neck.

_So come on, get higher, loosen my lips  
>Faith and desire and the swing of your hips<br>Just pull me down hard  
>And drown me in love<em>

_So come on, get higher, loosen my lips  
>Faith and desire and the swing of your hips<br>Just pull me down hard  
>And drown me in love<em>

Puck let his hands rest confidently on Kurt's very girly hips. Ignoring the reflex to pull away or begin mentally chanting 'I'm not gay' over and over, he pulled Kurt closer to him, spinning in the dumb, cliche slow dance circle. People were staring and whispering, he knew that. He could see and he could hear. He didn't care. These jackasses were messing with the wrong club.

_I miss the sound of your voice  
>Loudest thing in my head<br>And I ache to remember  
>All the violent, sweet<br>Perfect words that you said_

The jock wondered if Kurt was thinking of Blaine right now. Thinking of Blaine, that was another reason these assholes should leave him alone. Who messes with someone that's totally heartbroken? Yeah, Kurt was. He would pretend he wasn't, and he was a good actor, but the whole club knew he thought about Blaine all the time. Puck wondered if Kurt missed him more as a best friend or a boyfriend. He also wondered why he cared so much.

_If I could walk on water  
>If I could tell you what's next<br>I'd make you believe  
>I'd make you forget<em>

Sure, Kurt was a cool dude. It's not like Kurt was out to molest and convert people (Fuck you, Hudson). Even now, Kurt seemed ready to run away, when that should totally be Puck's job. Hell, the kid was afraid of making guys uncomfortable by _singing_ with them. That's when you know someone has issues.

_So come on, get higher, loosen my lips  
>Faith and desire and the swing of your hips<br>Just pull me down hard  
>And drown me in love<em>

_So come on, get higher, loosen my lips  
>Faith and desire and the swing of your hips<br>Just pull me down hard  
>And drown me in love<em>

Puck hated that he had been one of those assholes, one of the people that had messed Kurt up so badly. He liked to think that the skittishness wasn't because of him. He picked on Kurt, tossing slushies on him and throwing him in the dumpster, true, but he never messed with his head. Finn had, even if he didn't know it. Blaine had, not entirely intentionally, but he still did and he knows it now. Hell, even Kurt's own father had messed up his head by siding with Finn.

_I miss the pull of your heart  
>I taste the sparks on your tongue<br>I see angels and devils  
>And God, when you come on<br>Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on_

Now Puck was extremely happy that he had switched songs with Sam. Who would have come forward if he hadn't? Not even one of the girls had come forward to dance with him, and they'd been dancing all night. No one would have given a fuck if they had, but they didn't. Some friends. Kurt did everything to support everyone and didn't get shit back.

_Sing sha la la la  
>Sing sha la la la la<em>

_Ooo Ooo Ooo...  
>So come on, get higher, loosen my lips<br>Faith and desire and the swing of your hips  
>Just pull me down hard<br>And drown me in love_

_So come on, get higher, loosen my lips  
>Faith and desire and the swing of your hips<br>Just pull me down hard  
>And drown me, drown me in love<em>

Trying to pull his thoughts away from the still very frightened looking boy in his arms, Puck met eyes with Karofsky. Not only had the dickhead left Kurt alone and humiliated, but he stayed to _watch_. Mouthing 'chicken,' Puck pulled Kurt just a smidge closer, so that they were almost touching. Other couples had joined them on the floor now, still whispering about them. About _him_. Too bad he didn't give a damn.

_It's all wrong, it's all wrong  
>It's all wrong, it's so right<br>So come on, get higher  
>So come on and get higher<br>'Cause everything works, love  
>Everything works in your arms.<em>

"You're a lovely dancer," Kurt tried to joke as he stepped out of Puck's arms as though burned. Puck rolled his eyes.

"Way to act like I'm molesting you, princess. Could you have looked any more scared? I think Figgins thinks I drugged you or threatened you or something." Kurt's expression soured and the room got about ten degrees colder.

"Well, excuse me, but I did not expect _you_ to be my knight in shining armor of the night." Kurt didn't sound very grateful. "Can we just enjoy the rest of our respective nights please?" he snapped, walking away towards his girls quickly. Puck only paused for a moment to watch him get fawned over before he started looking for Q... who was up at the mic.

"All right you guys. Last dance of the night. Everyone have fun, grab your friends, remember to take some great pictures and PARTY!"

_Party rock is in the house tonight  
>Everybody just have a good time<br>And we gonna make you lose your mind  
>Everybody just have a good time<em>

_Party rock is in the house tonight  
>Everybody just have a good time<br>And we gonna make you lose your mind  
>We just wanna see ya shake that<em>

_In the club party rock, lookin' for your girl? She on my jock  
>Nonstop when we in the spot, booty movin' weight like she on the block<br>Where the drank? I gots to know, tight jeans, tattoo 'cause I'm rock 'n' roll  
>Half black, half white, domino, game the money, op-a-doe<em>

_Yo, I'm runnin' through these ho's like Drano  
>I got that devilish flow, rock 'n' roll, no halo<br>We party rock, yeah, that's the crew that I'm reppin'  
>On the rise to the top, no lead in our zeppelin, hey<em>

_Party rock is in the house tonight  
>Everybody just have a good time<br>And we gonna make you lose your mind  
>Everybody just have a good time<em>

_Party rock is in the house tonight  
>Everybody just have a good time<br>And we gonna make you lose your mind  
>We just wanna see ya shake that<em>

_Everyday I'm shufflin'  
>Shufflin', shufflin'<em>

_Step up fast and be the first girl to make me throw this cash  
>We gettin' money, don't be mad now, stop, hatin' is bad<em>

_One more shot for us, another round  
>Please fill up my cup, don't mess around<br>We just wanna see you shake it now  
>Now you wanna be, you're naked now<em>

_Get up, get down, put your hands up to the sound  
>Get up, get down, put your hands up to the sound<br>Get up, get down, put your hands up to the sound  
>Put your hands up to the sound, put your hands up to the sound<em>

_Get up, get up, get up, get up  
>Get up, get up, get up, get up<br>Get up, put your hands up to the sound, to the sound  
>Put your hands up, put your hands up, put your hands up, put your hands up<em>

_Party rock is in the house tonight  
>(Put your hands up)<br>Everybody just have a good time  
>(Put your hands up)<br>And we gonna make you lose your mind  
>(Put your hands up)<br>Everybody just have a good, good, good time  
><em>

_Put your hands up  
>Put your hands up<br>Put your hands up  
>Shake that, everyday I'm shufflin'<em>

The rest of the night was a whirlwind of photos. Puck took one with Lauren, watched as Kurt took one with all the girls, then all the girls individually. Sam, Mercedes, Rachel, and Kurt took one together, thankfully devoid of Jesse. Quinn dragged Puck into a picture with her, and then forced Kurt into her place. Puck awkwardly wrapped his arms around the Prom Queen, who was wearing his crown and holding his scepter. They did the cheesy, stereotypical Prom pose then separated quickly. Artie and Brittany took a picture, as did Mercedes and Sam. Mercedes and Santana took a picture together, laughing, and Mercedes took a picture with just Rachel. Santana grabbed Karofsky for a picture, and he and Kurt avoided eye contact like people avoid contagious viruses. At least, they avoided each other until Santana forced them to take a picture together as Prom King and Queen (and you don't disobey Santana. Ever. Or you die. It's simply fact). Quinn, Santana, and Brittany took one. Sam grabbed Kurt to take a picture with him, laughing, though Puck saw him whisper an apology to Kurt quickly, probably about the last slow dance of the night.

Finally, they all took a picture together, as a club (with the exception of Finn, but it's his fault for getting his sorry ass kicked out). Kurt ended up sandwiched between Quinn and Puck, forcibly leaning into Puck as Quinn fake-tried to snatch the crown off his head and Santana mock-glared (or glared for real, but it was hard to tell with Santana). Brittany kissed Santana on the cheek at the click of the camera, and Tina and Mike grabbed a real kiss. Rachel sat in Artie's lap, grinning and waving to the camera. They must have been quite a sight.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: There was going to be another scene after this, an important one, but that shall have to wait until next chapter, because this one was completely taken over by Prom. So, Prom Queen isn't quite done yet.**

**Songs used/mentioned (oh boy):**_  
>'Dancing Queen'<em> from _Mamma Mia__  
>'Break Your Heart'<em> by Taio Cruz featuring Ludacris_  
>'For the First Time'<em> from _Spectacular!  
>'Come on Get Higher'<em> by Matt Nathanson_  
>'Don't Cha'<em> by the Pussycat Dolls_  
>'Isn't She Lovely'<em> by Stevie Wonder_  
>'All the Lovers'<em> by Kylie Minogue_  
>'Rolling in the Deep'<em> by Adele_  
>'Shiksa Goddess'<em> from _The Last 5 Years  
>'Addicted to Love'<em> by Robert Palmer_  
>'Highway to Hell'<em> by AC/DC_  
>'Angel of Music'<em> from _The Phantom of the Opera  
>'One Song Glory'<em> from _RENT  
>'Pretty Eyes'<em> by Alex Goot (the song Puck was supposed to sing)_  
>'Bluebird'<em> by Christina Perri_  
>'Party Rock Anthem'<em> by LMFAO

**Wow. Songs much? Sorry about the long wait, I lost my hard drive and had to rebuild it, plus I have a major case of back-to-school-itis.**

**Reviews are Love.**


	9. RIP Jean Sylvester

**A/N: I was super-excited that you all liked the last chapter. It was fun to write (if hastily written) and I'm glad you guys enjoyed it. I even got props from my most critical anon :) Also, 'then' and 'than'. I screw them up a lot. I apologize. I will work on it. This chapter is a little more M-rated, but of the Puckurt variety. I am officially going beyond New York and into the summer because I decided I cannot jam these two together in... 4/5 weeks (if that's what 4/5 episodes even equals... dumb Glee time).**

* * *

><p>Kurt let out a small sigh as he pulled into his driveway. Prom without a date hadn't been as bad as most people made it seem, but the end of the night made it one of the worst of his life. Glaring at the crown in the passenger seat (and mentally acknowledging how ridiculous he would seem to anyone looking through his window), he grabbed the sign of his eternal mockery and its matching scepter before sliding out of the car.<p>

The countertenor could wish all he wanted that the lights of his house wouldn't be on when he got home, but the reality was that the whole house was lit up. Resisting the urge to swear like a plebeian, Kurt trudged up his front steps and unlocked the door. "Hey dad."

"Hey kiddo. How was Prom?" His dad sounded extremely excited, clearly not noticing the objects in his son's hands. "Where's Finn?"

"He's staying over at Puck's house for the night, I think," Kurt covered. His dad would be upset enough about him being voted Prom Queen without knowing that Finn had gotten kicked out for fighting. Though, thinking about it, Burt wasn't exactly Jesse's biggest fan... either way, it was bad for his heart.

"What are those?" Burt's eyes had narrowed suspiciously at the fake, plastic, gold crown and scepter in Kurt's hands.

"My crown and scepter," Kurt said nonchalantly, crossing towards the kitchen. The countertenor fidgeted uncomfortably as his father's look shifted from anger at the objects, to sympathy for his son.

"Prom King?" Kurt didn't miss the hope in his father's voice. He wondered if that was simply because he didn't want his son to have been Prom Queen, or a deep-seated hope from his imaginings when he was told 'it's a boy' that his son would someday be Prom King.

"Something like that," Kurt said with a sigh, placing the far-too-feminine-to-be-intended-for-a-guy crown and scepter on the kitchen counter. "I'm going to bed. Finn said he might be home later."

"Kurt." The tone of Burt's voice stopped his son's hurry up the stairs. Turning to face his father, Kurt was surprised when Burt said nothing more than, "Remember that nobody pushes the Hummel's around, okay?"

"Yeah. Goodnight, Dad." Kurt was ready to collapse onto his bed and leave this horrid night behind.

"Love you, kiddo." Once again, his dad had managed to surprise him. The countertenor know, of course, that his dad loved him more than anything, but he rarely heard it from his affection-shy father.

"Love you too, Dad."

* * *

><p>Kurt slumped into his bed about an hour later, too tired even to cry himself to sleep. He couldn't help but be confused at some of the events of the night. Puck, for one, was possibly the most confusing person the planet. The connection, almost... warning, during <em>Break Your Heart<em> and the slow dance at the end of the night, as well as the constant attempts at convincing him to even _go_ to Prom during the nights before. Quinn also seemed a little... off, forcing him and Puck together at every time she could.

The only person who had seemed completely normal at Prom was St. James, as sad as that seems. Even _Blaine_ had been acting odd, and he wasn't even there! Kurt couldn't tell how long he tossed and turned, trying to analyze and rationalize everything that had happened that night. Finally, thankfully, he fell into a deep sleep.

After a confusing dream that involved rainbows and a dark, twisting kind of smoke that Kurt would have called Greek fire, Kurt entered a dream that before that night he would have considered a nightmare.

* * *

><p>Puck swore violently as he walked into his house, ignoring his sister's cry of "Noah! Bad language!" Why had he come to Hummel's... defense? When had he become <em>anyone's <em>knight in fucking shining armor, never mind a _dude's_? Knowing his mother was probably asleep, and that Sarah was supposed to be, he just stormed upstairs.

Tossing off his suit, he climbed into bed in his underwear, skipping the shower he should have taken and the chores/homework he was supposed to do. He even pretended he couldn't hear his mom waking up and sending Sarah to bed, then tapping on his door. He fell asleep as things quieted in his house.

* * *

><p>The beginning of Kurt's dream had to be the most cliche thing possible. A beach, a very, obnoxiously sandy beach, at sunset. Kurt resisted the urge to roll his eyes at his subconscious (note to Kurt: he dreamed in color) before seeing himself. Kurt... Dream Kurt was knee-deep in the water, loose jeans rolled up. As Kurt watched, a dark shape ran up behind him, tackling him into the water.<p>

Actually rolling his eyes at his subconscious this time, Kurt prepared himself to watch his dream-self die in a variety of ways. It wouldn't be the first time, so he was surprised when the dark shape laughed and Dream Kurt came up sputtering.

"Noah!" Dream Kurt screeched, splashing water at the 'dark shape' who had morphed into Puck. Kurt's jaw dropped. _Noah? NOAH?_ "That's not funny!"

"Come on, babe." _Babe?_ "I was just kidding. You're wearing a t-shirt and loose jeans. Lighten up." Puck pulled Kurt up from where he was half-kneeling in the water. When Dream Kurt continued to frown and pout, Puck grabbed him in a kiss. _Holy..._ "Besides, I have a surprise for you."

"I can't decide if I'm terrified or excited," Dream Kurt replied sarcastically. Kurt wasn't entirely sure the look in Dream Kurt's eyes showed either. However, Puck seemed to have a damn good idea of what that look meant.

"Not that kind of surprise, princess." Kurt's head was reeling. In every way, this was the Puck he had come to know and maybe... care about, but... a gay version? The idea of Puck being gay, or even swinging both ways was mind-blowing. Despite all the jokes Mercedes and Kurt had made about Puck running out of girls sometime, they never thought it would actually _happen_.

"Aw, that's my favorite kind," Dream Kurt said with a little smirk. That creepy, horny clone was _not_ him.

"You might like this just a little more." Puck gave Dream Kurt a genuine smile, before dropping down on one knee.

"Noah..." Dream Kurt looked thrilled... and Kurt woke up in a cold sweat. _Noah_?

* * *

><p>"Mm, Noah. Oh, oh, God, right there," a high, hot voice panted in his ear. Puck didn't bother to open his eyes as he felt the lithe body under him. Fuck, he loved dreams like this. Perfect distraction from thoughts that took up too much energy.<p>

"Ooh, baby, so big, so good, harder," the voice whimpered. He could feel warm heat all around him and he was in a tight body, but he didn't care who at the moment. "Please, baby. _Please_," the voice whined.

Puck opened his eyes and almost panicked when he looked into dark, lust-filled pupils ringed by green-blue iris. No boobs. Tight-as-hell. Something... oh shit. He was dream-fucking _Kurt_. A very desperate, very slutty Kurt with a dirty mouth that was currently begging for it, but Kurt nonetheless. "Shit." The word was meant to be a curse, but it turned out a groan.

"Noah, Noah, _please_," Kurt arched up against him, and Puck clearly wasn't in charge of his body as he reached down between their bodies and... passed a Big Gay milestone. "God, so close, No-AH!" Kurt came between them and _fuck_.

Puck woke up with sticky sheets and Kurt frickin' Hummel's name on his lips. Shit. What the fuck was wrong with him? He was into Kurt? Innocent, heart-broken, thoroughly screwed up Kurt Hummel of the world's most sarcastically biting tongue? Shit, he really liked chicks that gave him a hard time. Apparently, that extended to dudes with high voices and Olympic-gold worthy asses.

* * *

><p>Kurt, acting in a very cliched-teenaged-girl way, though he would never admit it, quickly rushed to his phone. But who could he text about his... dream feelings for <em>Puck<em> of all people? Rachel would rail against it so vehemently he would want to date Puck simply out of spite (and the idea sent chills down his spine). Quinn would probably start ranting about her stretch marks... or not. Quinn had been.. almost oddly supportive of he and Puck. Oh sweet McQueen, when did there get to be a 'he and Puck'? Mercedes would just flat out murder him. Tina wouldn't have any good advice. Santana would rip him limb-from-limb. Brittany would be confused, and probably want to watch them 'make dolphin babies' as she called it.

Quinn it was then.

To: Quinn_  
>'To my dearest Q, you can kill me tomorrow for interrupting your beauty sleep (not that you need it), but.. .'<em>

Kurt typed up the message as quickly as possible and then slammed his phone down on his bedside table, sliding under his sheets. With any luck, Quinn wouldn't answer. Hopefully by morning he would regain his sanity and remember that this was _Puck_. Incredibly hot, slightly boorish, incredibly_ straight_ Puck. Certainly not someone worthy of his fabulous self. Kurt groaned as his phone buzzed before rolling over to read the text message.

From: Quinn_**  
>'Why?'<strong>_

Kurt stared at the phone for a good three minutes trying to decipher Quinn's one-word answer. Honestly, this was not the supportive help he needed at a time of crisis such as this.

To: Quinn_  
>'What do you mean why?'<em>

From: Quinn_**  
>'Why do you think that? Why do you like Puck? Why now?'<strong>_

Kurt cursed women and their obnoxious, overprotective and cryptic tendencies. Honestly, Quinn of all people should have said 'Bitch, no. He's not good enough for you.'

To: Quinn_  
>'I kind of had a dream about him.'<em>

From: Quinn  
><em><strong>'Is this the kind of dream I want to hear about or not?'<strong>_

To: Quinn_  
>'Quinn Marie Fabray!'<em>

From: Quinn_**  
>'My name doesn't answer my question.'<strong>_

To: Quinn_  
>'I did not have a *dirty* dream about Puck. He... proposed to me. I said yes... or I think I was going to. It was one of those dreams where you're standing off on the sidelines watching. Honestly, I would have preferred the murder scenes I was expecting to what I watched.'<em>

From: Quinn_**  
>'Then you don't deserve Noah.'<strong>_

Kurt paused, staring at his screen in complete shock. _He _didn't deserve _Puck?_ Try the other way around. Puck would be lucky to have someone as fabulous as him.

To: Quinn_  
>'Ignoring your ludicrous statement, may I point out that Puck is neither bisexual nor gay, so it's no worry of mine?'<em>

From: Quinn_**  
>'There's a lot you don't know about Noah, but if you'd preferred to watch yourself be murdered over watching Noah propose to you, then you don't deserve him.'<strong>_

To: Quinn_  
>'You of all people should be *against* these lunatic feelings of mine.'<em>

From: Quinn_**  
>'I know Noah better than probably anyone else, and he likes you too. Really think about him, because he's not as bad a guy as everyone makes him out to be.'<strong>_

To: Quinn_  
>'How so?'<em>

After Kurt didn't get an answer for more than twenty minutes, he turned off his phone and rolled over to sleep. Monday was far too close for his liking.

* * *

><p>Kill Kurt now. Seriously, Kurt really wanted someone to end his life right there. There he was, stupidly handsome and slightly-metrosexual looking as always, Kurt's personal nightmare. Jesse St. James.<p>

"New Directions, I would like to introduce you to our new show choir consultant, Jesse St. James," Mr. Schuester announced with way to much cheer. Shockingly, Rachel was the only one who clapped.

In an attempt to hide from Puck, Kurt was in the very back, so he couldn't see the expressions of anyone in the group. Amend that. He couldn't see the expressions of anyone in the group besides _Puck_ who had naturally sat next to him despite what seemed a clear avoidance maneuver.

"I don't trust this guy." For once, Kurt and Finn were on the same side. Kurt didn't trust him, didn't like him, and didn't want him around while he was dealing with his Puck-crisis. "How do we know he's just not gonna trick us into doing something stupid so his alma mater wins?"

"I don't think I need to do much tricking to get you to do something stupid, Finn." Damn his perfect hair and his snappy comebacks. At least his outfit's horrible at the moment.

"Guys, Jesse is just a consultant. I still make all the calls," Mr. Schuester said, as though that was reassuring.

Kurt muttered, "And that fills me with so much confidence, considering our history," under his breath, causing Puck to let out a snort.

"Now, I have all the confidence in the world in you guys. I just think we could use all the help we can get because... this is it. We've been working so hard for two years for this moment, and that moment is finally here." General nods swept through the crowds.

"Now, I was talking with Jesse and he agreed we should continue with our successful trend of doing original songs for the competition. I was thinking of doing one group number and one duet." Kurt grudgingly had to admit it wasn't a bad idea. However, speaking had been a bad idea, as Puck had scooted closer and was now leaning towards him.

"Rachel and I should sing a duet. We killed it last year at Regionals with _Faithfully_," Finn jumped in.

"Yeah. It killed us. We lost." It was hard to believe that this jealous girlfriend was the down-to-earth girl he had been talking to last night.

"May I?" No.

"Uh, yeah." Shoot.

"I agree that Rachel should sing lead, but, Finn, I think it's best if you sit this one out. The fact is, most of the other guys in here are better singers, even Kurt... and Mike Chang, who can't even sing, can at least dance. You kind of sing and dance like a zombie who has to poop." Kurt was trying so hard not to laugh. Damn it, he hated St. James, but the guy could pull off a good burn. Even Rachel, Finn's eternal stalker was hiding a laugh behind her hand, and, of course, Puck busted out laughing aloud, uncaring of Finn's reaction.

"You see, you see what I'm talking about? This guy's a jerk!" Finn yelled, ignoring everyone else's reaction.

"Jesse, maybe you could be a little gentle with your advice," Mr. Schue once again tried to placate the crowd.

"Gentle?"

"Ever heard the word before, St. James? It's called not being an asshole," Kurt said under his breath, prompting another snort from Puck, who was moving closer and closer with every one of Kurt's comments.

"Yes."

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize we were training for the 'good try' ribbon at Nationals. I thought we were in it to win the whole damn thing, and there's only one way we can do that." Again, with the being forced to agree with Jesse St. James. It was beginning to grow irritating.

"Poison darts?" Brittany offered. Jacobs, Kurt loved her.

"The Vocal Adrenaline strategy is simple," Jesse continued, ignoring what seemed (to Kurt) like a pretty good suggestion from Brittany. "Identify your best performer and build the entire performance around them."

"So, what does everyone else do?" Exactly.

"And who's our star performer?" Puck asked, obviously thinking the same thing Kurt was. Jesse only had eyes _or_ ears for Rachel.

"We're gonna have auditions to find out." The idea already sounded like a bloodbath, and Mr. Schue hadn't even finished his speech. "I'm gonna post a sign-up sheet later this afternoon."

"Mr. Schue, don't you think this is kinda not our style?" Now Kurt was thinking, oh shut up Finn.

"Normally I'd agree with you, Finn, but this is the big time. I think we should listen to Jesse." Kiss ass. Jesse honestly had the best smug smirk Kurt had ever seen, and he hated the over-gelled idiot for it. If St. James had anything to say about it, Rachel would be New Directions' star performer.

* * *

><p>Kurt approached the sign-up list with... trepidation, to say the least. Already, the roster was full of names. Santana Lopez, Quinn Fabray, Mercedes Jones, Finn Hudson...<p>

"Hey, princess. You signing up?" Kurt froze. Shoot. Due to his amazing ability to escape Glee on the drop of a hat (a habit cultivated by long hours debating the moral integrity of creating a Will Schuester voodoo doll), he had yet to talk to the mohawked-Casablanca alone. Now he was trapped.

"Yes. Are you?" Puck leaned himself against the wall next to Kurt, seeming completely comfortable. Of course he was comfortable, he didn't, _couldn't_ know the barrage of questions racing through Kurt's mind.

"'Course. If pretty boys Finn and Sam can do it, so can I. Besides, you heard St. Asshole. We're all better than Finn, and he goddamn knows it. Singing can be pretty badass." Kurt gave Puck the skeptical look he seemed to be craving, trying to ignore how close he suddenly was to a solid wall of completely-straight and slightly-homophobic muscle.

"He was mocking me, of course, by including me in the guys, but yes, though I am forced to the very edge of my will power to do so, I agree. Finn has a wonderful voice, but untrained and uncultivated despite Rachel's best efforts. You and Artie both have phenomenal voices, Sam's is alright, and I'm not entirely sure I even count as a boy anymore." Kurt shook his head in disgust.

"As long as you have a dick and balls, you count as a dude on my list." Kurt rolled his eyes at his friend's behavior.

"How classy. Good to know. Are you going to sign up or not?" Kurt snapped, perhaps slightly hostile, but Puck was a very warm, very solid presence and it was getting to be distracting.

"Ladies first." Kurt didn't even have to look over to know that Puck was smirking.

"I want to be as close to Rachel in performance slots as I can. Sign up or I will sign you up."

"Fine, princess." Apparently out to start Kurt's dormant but hereditary heart problems, Puck leaned up against his side as he signed, encircling Kurt in a solid arm and pressing him against a warm body. "Happy?"

"Extremely," Kurt ignored how high-pitched and rather breathy that came out. Quickly signing his name, he ducked away from Puck with a hurried, "See you later."

* * *

><p>"Did you hear? It's so horrible," Kurt broke in on the girls' conversation at lunch easily. He had managed to squeeze between Mercedes and Tina in order to avoid being near Puck at the guys' side of the table. "Coach Sylvester's sister died."<p>

"Omigod, when?" Tina asked immediately, and just like that he had the whole tables attention.

"A few days ago. I mean, people with Down's don't live very long, but Jean had beat the odds. Poor Miss Sylvester," Kurt simpered.

"Honey, what are you smokin'? Coach Sylvester ain't never been nothing but a bitch to us, don't you go wasting your tears on her!" Mercedes spoke up, elbowing Kurt lightly in the ribs.

"Mercedes Jones! That woman was the only family Miss Sylvester had! I cannot believe you just said that!" Kurt reeled. He couldn't imagine how someone could be insensitive about a family death.

"Oh bo. I'm sorry, I completely forgot," Mercedes apologized, but that somehow made it worse.

"Wish I could," Kurt murmured under his breath. Louder, he answered "It's fine, Mercedes. I just think she deserves a little sympathy from us. Even if we don't like her, and she doesn't like us, that's something we can all respect." The glare he sent around the table with his words very clearly demanded the respect.

"Of course, Kurt," Brittany said confidently, leaning over the table and getting mayonnaise all down her shirt to peck the gay boy on the lips. "I hope we didn't upset you too much about your mama dolphin." Kurt smiled, because Brittany had to be one of the sweetest girls he had ever met.

"I'm fine, Britt."

* * *

><p>"You're not fine." Kurt jumped about a foot at Puck's voice. Honestly, someone that muscular should not be able to move that quietly. Puck had apparently mastered sneaking up on people like a ninja, for this was the second time he had done so that day.<p>

"I respect and understand the pain she's going through, but I'm okay. It's been eleven years, Noah, I can think of my mom without bursting into tears in the middle of the hallway." Well, sometimes it was a close thing. Just to be safe, Kurt abandoned the idea of making it to his next class on time and ducked into a doorway, hoping Puck wouldn't follow him.

"Yeah, sure. Just like I can tell everyone I don't give a... don't care about... you-know-who." Kurt didn't respond. It was just another reminder of how absolutely _straight_ Puck was. Damn Puck for following him. "The point is, you're lying. Badly, might I add."

"Fine. Miss Sylvester's loss brings up horrible memories, as selfish as that may seem. I... don't want to talk about this anymore." Kurt was already close to tears, and he hadn't even referenced his mom.

"Because you'll start bawling, right?" Kurt was silent, the only sound heard the ringing of the school bell. "Right. Look, I gotta run. Try not to jump off a cliff or anything."

"That's not funny, Noah," Kurt murmured under his breath as Puck left.

"Have you thought about it?" For the second time in as many conversation, Kurt jumped and whirled. Apparently, he was too easily scared. Quinn was standing right there, for once devoid of Finn, obviously having entered the... science lab, he noted as he looked around, by an alternative door.

"You're right. Noah's," Kurt lowered his voice, despite the fact that they were in an empty classroom, "he's a great guy. However, he's one hundred perfect straight despite your claims, and I am _so_ not going down that road again."

"I think I could tell you about a few non-straight things that he's done. Look, Kurt. Do whatever you'd like, but don't hurt my best friend, alright?" Quinn went to walk leave.

"Quinn? Why are you trying out for that solo?" Quinn turned with the Queen Bitch smile on her face.

"Rachel's not the only one with a little star potential around here. Finn adores her for her talent, I need to show him that I'm just as great." Kurt ignored the impossibility of her task for some more important questions.

"Do you know why Finn's trying out?"

"Probably trying to impress Rachel," Quinn gritted out between her teeth. "Which is exactly why I'm trying out."

"What about Noah?" Quinn smiled sweetly at him, gone from Head Bitch to best friend within moments.

"Probably for you." Kurt was about to protest, and Quinn cut him off. "Kurt, you are an amazing person, and I think Noah really likes you. See what song he sings for his audition and you'll find out."

* * *

><p>"Coach Sylvester?" Kurt knocked very hesitantly on the intimidating cheerleading coach's open door.<p>

"We brought you some flowers and stuff." Finn had agreed to join him in his mission, for one because he was empathizing with someone instead of trying to impress his girlfriend-of-the-week. "We're sorry for your loss."

"Put 'em over there with the rest. There were more arrangements, but I had to throw some of them out. I'm allergic to pansies. And I don't mean that as a swipe at either of you." Kurt and Finn placed the teddy bear and flowers with the other things, waiting for the verbal onslaught. "So... why'd you bother doing this? Buying me flowers, comforting me, after I've actively made your life a living hell and enjoyed doing it?" One would never say Miss Sylvester wasn't blunt to the bone.

"We both know what it's like to lose someone really close to you." Kurt had to fight back the tears already. Apparently, emotions running high equaled many tears.

"I sort of do. My dad died when I was a baby," Finn seemed much calmer than Kurt was.

"Yeah. H-his dad's dead, and my mom's... d-dead." Apparently, stuttering and awkward hand gestures also came with the territory. Kurt was amazed he managed to say that out loud.

"So how do you think you can help me? Are you here to tell me how to deal with this?"

"No at all," Kurt jumped in immediately. He knew there was no one, single way to deal with something this devastating. The countertenor had been surprised Miss Sylvester was still showing up for school since there were no Cheerios to care about, but she'd always been a strong woman.

"'Cause if I was being honest with you, Eddie Munster and Herman Munster, I don't know how to deal with this. I can't go back into that nursing home and start sorting through Jean's things." That was always the hardest. Having to look through all the memories and all the love and knowing that the person who all these things embodied was no longer there... there were no words to describe that type of pain. "And I won't plan a funeral."

"Have you told your mother yet?" Kurt asked carefully, knowing Mrs. Sylvester was a very touchy subject.

"As far as I'm concerned, she said her goodbyes to us years ago." Kurt hesitated. What could you say to that? "If you boys would really like to help me, you might start by explaining why it was her time and not mine. She's the sweetest person I ever met. And as both of you can attest, I'm probably the meanest. So how come I'm the one still standing here talking to you?" Kurt swallowed, Miss Sylvester's words dragging up painful thoughts.

"You know I'm one of the only people that won't say to you, 'the Lord works in mysterious ways,' possibly because it feels like I'm burning to do so." Kurt had automatically slipped into the dry tone that accompanied a time spent in the Cheerios. "Life isn't fair. The most wonderful people can have the shortest lives. What's important is that you spent every moment you could with that person, and made their life as happy as possible, because you never want to have regrets." Kurt's eyes were stinging with tears, and Miss Sylvester looked over him thoughtfully.

"Leave. Both of you." Kurt followed her demand immediately, not wanting Miss Sylvester to see any sign of weakness.

"Dude, are you alright?" Finn asked hesitantly.

"I'm... no. No, I'm not. I don't think I ever will be, but it doesn't matter. We should, we should get home." Kurt fumbled for his car keys, almost dropping them and swearing profusely.

"Do you want to-"

"We're not talking about this Finn. Let's just say that I wish someone had given me the advice I gave Miss Sylvester." Kurt shook his head sadly.

"Where are you going? We have Glee," Finn snapped him back to reality.

"I don't want to go to Glee. You can tell your psychotic ex-girlfriend that I need a mental health vacation. Knowing her, she'll probably show up at my house with 'I'm sorry' cookies and gay suicide pamphlets," Kurt snapped, feeling bad immediately after he'd said it.

"Dude, come on. Maybe... we can get the club to help! You know... we could help Miss Sylvester with her sister's stuff, and we could plan the funeral for her." Finn's ever-shining-puppy-optimism was getting tiring. Kurt wished his step-brother would stop shadowing him to his car.

"Finn, the Glee Club hates Miss Sylvester. You should have heard the girls at lunch today, when I told them. They don't care. They don't understand," Kurt said with a sigh, stopping in the middle of the hallway and turning to look at Finn. "Miss Sylvester has done a lot for me, and I understand what she's going through, as do you. Who else in the New Directions can say that?" Finn paused. "Exactly."

"What about her sister?" Finn tried again, and Kurt almost groaned. "They would help her."

"They didn't know her, Finn. Quinn, Santana, Brittany, and I have only met her because Sue will... would sometimes bring her to major competitions. She was at Nationals cheering us on, and Coach Sylvester is right. She's the sweetest person I've ever met, but who else cares?" Sometimes Finn lived in the same rose-tinted world that Rachel created for herself.

"They'd do it if we asked them to, if _you_ asked them to. They know how important this is to you. Just come to practice, dude. Who will it hurt to ask?" Kurt did groan that time. Honestly.

"Didn't your mother ever tell you not to say things like that?" Despite his words, Kurt did turn for the practice room. He could try to help Jean Sylvester have a peaceful funeral and a beautiful memory for everyone.

* * *

><p>"Guys, listen up," Kurt announced, walking into the practice room and allowing his voice to carry, drawing everyone's attention.<p>

"Kurt, is something-" Mr. Schue tried to start.

"Sit down," Kurt snapped, and Mr. Schue obeyed immediately. Kurt mentally smirked. He could definitely be Queen Bitch around here if he wanted to. "We, the Glee club, are planning Jean Sylvester's funeral."

"Hell to the nah," Mercedes objected.

"That's Coach Sylvester's job," Quinn added. "Why should we do it?"

"We need to help her," Finn answered his girlfriend. "She's overwhelmed, and she needs us to help her."

"Seriously?" Santana asked. "I'd like to put the 'fun' back in funeral just as much as the next girl, but why would the Glee Club help Coach Sylvester plan a service?"

"We're not doing it for Sue," Kurt answered, and he sounded, perhaps, slightly annoyed, but Satan deserved it. "We're doing it for her sister."

"Jean is just like us, guys. I mean, she's been an outsider and an underdog all of her life. We of all people should celebrate that." At least Finn had gotten to his point quickly that time.

"Can I say something?" No, St. James, you may not say anything. Kurt swore he would rip that asswipe's head off if he annoyed him one more time. "When someone dies, yes, it's a tragedy, but it's also a part of life, and you can't let death put your life on hold." Kurt was about inches from strangling him, and Finn placed a hand on his arm. "Now, I don't mean to be blunt, but I don't think you should be planning a funeral the same week you should be focusing on the set list for Nationals."

"Seriously? Y-You're serious?" Finn asked, obviously ready to choke St. Blunt himself.

"Actually, yes, I am." Kurt was ready to knock that smug look of his face. "Do you know what Vocal Adrenaline is doing right now? They're in their third week of 24-hour-a-day rehearsals. They're on an I.V. drip, that's how hard they're working. Do you know what happens in Vocal Adrenaline if someone dies during a number? They use them as a prop, like _Weekend at Bernie's_." His exaggerations were getting quite tiring.

"No. Thanks for your input, Jesse," Finn didn't sound very grateful, "but we're helping Sue with the service for her sister. Rachel," oh boy, "you said I needed to be more of a leader of this club. Well, here goes. I'm making the call. We're doing this." So much for everyone doing this for _Kurt_.

"Finn, maybe Jesse has a point.." Rachel interjected, and now Kurt had _two_ people about to die in this room. Those two could _definitely_ be used as props.

"Rachel Berry, if I hear one more word come from your voluminous trap on this subject, I will personally burn your Broadway collection. Until you know _anything_ about losing a loved one, you have no idea what you're speaking of. So, for once in your about-to-become-far-too-short life, shut. up," Kurt said coldly, and the room was silent. Puck mouthed 'nice,' and Kurt resisted the urge to smile. Damn him.

"Well, Kurt, Finn, since you seem to have taken leadership controls for this project, what do you suggest?" Mr. Schue asked politely, obviously realized Kurt was not in the mood to be tested.

"First of all, our lovely 'consultant,'" perhaps it was slightly fifth-grade of him to use the actual air quotes, "will have nothing to do with this project. He is a show choir consultant, and this has nothing to do with show choir. If I see him anyway near during practices dedicated to the service, I retain the right to fire him on the spot." Mr. Schue's eyes widened, but he nodded. It felt nice for Kurt to finally have some respect.

"Which means _leave_, Jesse," Finn added helpfully, and the consultant did just that, but not without a withering glare at Kurt.

"Second, I may have a... few ideas."

* * *

><p>"Kurt!" Kurt firmly ignored the voice calling to him as he left rehearsal. "Kurt! Please wait!" The countertenor finally turned to face the source of the yelling.<p>

"Rachel," he acknowledged her coldly.

"We need to talk."

"What could we possibly need to talk about? You have no control of this funeral project, and you are no longer dating my brother. You have no right to talk to me, and I have no desire to talk to you," Kurt brusquely dismissed the diva, once again heading for his car.

"You're floundering." Kurt paused at Rachel's words, turning once again to face her. "Face it. You never snap at people like that during school."

"I'll admit that your boyfriend gets on my nerves, but it's nothing I can't handle." Rachel looked taken aback.

"Jesse's not my boyfriend," she said quickly, and Kurt rolled his eyes. "Ever since you got back from Dalton," Rachel quickly changed the subject, "you've been warmer, opener. I appreciate that the safety of the no-harassment policy allowed you to let down your walls, but it does mean that you're more easily hurt."

"And you've lost me." Kurt didn't leave this time though. Sometimes Rachel, in all her craziness, could make good points.

"You were crushed when Blaine broke up with you." Kurt flinched.

"Thank you for bringing that up, Rachel m'dear." Rachel huffed, and pulled him back to the empty choir room. Forcing him into a chair (well, not forcing him... Rachel couldn't force anyone), she continued on her rant.

"You were crushed when Blaine broke up with you," she repeated. "And even now you're brokenhearted. You never forget your first love." Kurt grimaced, but Rachel barreled on. "In planning this funeral and helping Miss Sylvester, you'll be inescapably reminded of you deceased mom, which is a very sore subject for you, as evidenced in Glee club today."

"So... was the intent of this little speech just to make me feel miserable?" Kurt asked rather snappily, but, really! Rachel clearly didn't understand that 'sore subject' meant he didn't want to talk about.

"Your father is still having health problems," Rachel ignored him, "and you're acclimating to the presence of a step-mother and brother. In addition, you're hopelessly pining over a guy who is not only exceedingly straight, but out of your league, invariably promiscuous, and a sore spot for your now-step-brother, who would exhort vehemently against your dating him, if it were even possible."

"I have _no_ idea what you're talking about, but I get the feeling I would like for it to stay that way," Kurt announced, beginning to get up and leave this little speech as another crack-pot Rachel spiel.

"Noah," Rachel said simply, and Kurt froze. Maybe she really _was_ psychic.

"I'm not interested in Noah," Kurt stated, hoping Rachel would leave it (and him) alone.

"I would hope not," Rachel said sadly. "He's straight, Kurt, and I know you really hurt Finn-"

"I hurt Finn_?_" Kurt snapped, spinning on a dime and advancing towards the now frightened soprano. "_I_ hurt _Finn_? You're deranged if you think that. I did _everything _for Finn. I helped him with Quinn, I tried to _protect _him, unlike you. Sure, I would have _loved_ if he broke up with Quinn, but I'm not selfish enough to have hurt him like that... like _you_."

"Kurt," Rachel started, but the countertenor was on a roll.

"I did _everything_ for him," he repeated. "I advised him past Santana and Brittany, comforted him as he _sobbed_ while you were dating Jesse, made him realize how in love with you he was, and throughout all that I was _dying_ of pain, but I did it _for him_. I may have made him uncomfortable at times, and I admit that, but I _never_ hurt him, and I _know_ you can't say the same." Kurt was breathing heavily by the time he was finished, and Rachel's eyes were swimming in tears, but he was still seeing too red to care.

"He _sobbed_ over me?" Rachel repeated, and the word-vomit was back.

"_Why_? _Why_ do you have to turn this around and make this about you? This ridiculous rant of yours was supposed to be about helping _me_, or so I thought? Knowing you, you probably don't want me anywhere near Puck because you want _three_ guys fighting over you!" Kurt whirled and was fully ready to leave her there to her thoughts when he heard a soft sob.

"Rachel, I'm sorry," he breathed softly as he turned back to her.

"This is what I was talking about though. You're hurt and volatile, and you're not ready to go through the heartache that chasing another straight boy would leave you with," Rachel murmured, wiping her tears. "He never wanted to be with me. He wanted someone Jewish the first time, he didn't care exclusively about me, and I propositioned him after that."

"Rachel." Now Rachel was the one cutting him off.

"I don't want to see you get anymore hurt. Maybe it would just be best to stay away from him for a while, focus on fixing yourself for a bit?" Rachel asked softly, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Maybe," Kurt admitted. Rachel reached up to hug him and Kurt allowed it.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I know you're all ready to kill me (and Rachel), but just wait until next chapter (which might be up later. I've already started writing it, but it's far too long to add to this chapter, because it has the auditions in it. Yay for more Asshole!Jesse!)**

**6 thousand words and no songs. I'm impressed with myself.**

**Reviews are Love.**


	10. Auditions

**A/N: Super quick: READ THE LYRICS! I know some of you don't like songs, but they're important in this chapter unless you know the song.**

* * *

><p>"Are you nervous?" Quinn asked as they took their seats in the back of the auditorium to watch the auditions.<p>

"I'm actually rather intrigued to see what everyone else is singing." Quinn smiled, obviously thinking Kurt was taking her advice on waiting to decide about Noah based on his audition.

"I can't believe Mr. Schue is agreeing with Jesse in this case," Quinn changed the subject, shaking her head. Kurt definitely agreed. As if they didn't fight over solos enough, now Mr. Schue was giving them a battleground.

"We're ready for the first contestant," St. James announced into his microphone. Why he was allowed to have a microphone, Kurt would never understand.

Santana wasted no time in responding, glaring up at Jesse with obvious dislike. "My name is Santana Lopez, and I will be singing Adele's _Rumour Has It_."

_She, she ain't real,  
>she ain't gonna be able to love you like I will.<br>She is a stranger,  
>you and I have history,<br>or don't you remember?  
>Sure, she's got it all,<br>but, baby, is that really what you want?_

_Bless your soul, you've got your head in the clouds.  
>You made a fool out of you,<br>and, boy, she's bringing you down.  
>She made your heart melt,<br>but you're cold to the core.  
>Now rumour has it she ain't got your love anymore.<em>

_Rumour has it, ooh.  
>Rumour has it, ooh.<br>Rumour has it, ooh.  
>Rumour has it, ooh.<br>Rumour has it, ooh.  
>Rumour has it, ooh.<br>Rumour has it, ooh.  
>Rumour has it, ooh.<em>

_She is half your age,  
>but I'm guessing that's the reason that you strayed.<br>I heard you've been missing me,  
>you've been telling people things that you shouldn't be,<br>like when we creep out and she ain't around...  
>Haven't you heard the rumours?<em>

_Bless your soul, you've got your head in the clouds.  
>You made a fool out of me,<br>and, boy, you're bringing me down.  
>You made my heart melt, yet I'm cold to the core,<br>but rumour has it I'm the one you're leaving her for,_

_Rumour has it, ooh.  
>Rumour has it, ooh.<br>Rumour has it, ooh.  
>Rumour has it, ooh.<br>Rumour has it, ooh.  
>Rumour has it, ooh.<br>Rumour has it, ooh.  
>Rumour has it, ooh.<em>

_All of these words whispered in my ear  
>tell a story that I cannot bear to hear.<br>Just 'cause I said it don't mean I meant it.  
>People say crazy things;<br>just 'cause I said it, don't mean that I meant it,  
>just 'cause you heard it...<em>

_Rumour has it, ooh.  
>Rumour has it, ooh.<br>Rumour has it, ooh.  
>Rumour has it, ooh.<br>Rumour has it, ooh.  
>Rumour has it, ooh.<br>Rumour has it, ooh.  
>Rumour has it, ooh.<br>Rumour has it, ooh.  
>Rumour has it, ooh.<br>Rumour has it, ooh.  
>Rumour has it, ooh.<br>Rumour has it, ooh.  
>Rumour has it, ooh.<em>

_But rumour has it he's the one I'm leaving you for._

"I'm impressed," Quinn whispered to Kurt, and he had to agree. As over-hyped and occasionally obnoxious as Adele was, the song fit Santana's voice, and she was clearly singing it to Puck.

"Fantastic, Santana," Mr. Schue praised, his faint clapping the only sound in the room.

"Thanks so much for coming in," was all St. James said, leaning forward into his microphone like a reality show host and then leaning back with a (presumably) smug expression.

"Wait, that's all you have to say? You spent to entire performance scribbling notes!" Santana objected, looking pissed.

"Well, if you really must know, I was simply writing down that I don't think your performance went very deep into the emotional truth of the song. In addition, you had absolutely no choreography, and spent the entire performance standing in the exact same spot, staring into the distance with the same blank expression you're giving me know," St. James said as though annoyed. Santana looked... displeased, to say the least.

"Oh. Is that so? You think you have any idea of what that song means to me, you're brain's leaked out through your ears. I did a damned good job of singing. I happen to have some feedback for you, St. James," Santana replied, practically snarling.

"Thanks, Santana. That's all we'll need," Mr. Schue cut her off quickly. Kurt rolled his eyes. As if St. James didn't deserve his comeuppance in the form of vicious words from a bitch like Santana and several, consecutive kicks to the balls.

"Estoy yendo a ir todo Lima Heights hasta en aquí," Santana promised in Spanish before marching off the stage.

"Th-thank you," Mr. Schue stuttered. "Next."

"I'm Lauren Zizes, the most badass chick on the planet, and I'm going to be singing _When I Grow Up_ by the Pussycat Dolls." Kurt would have paid a large amount of money to see the expressions of their judging panel at her introduction. "These are my back-up bitches." Brittany and Tina emerged from the curtains and hovered by Brad.

_Boys call you sexy,  
>and you don't care what they say.<br>See every time you turn around  
>they screaming your name.<em>

_Just call you sexy,  
>and you don't care what they say.<br>See every time you turn around  
>They screaming your name.<em>

**Now I've got a confession.  
>When I was young, I wanted attention,<br>and I promised myself that I'd do anything,  
>anything at all for them to notice me.<strong>

**But I ain't complaining.  
>We all wanna be famous,<br>so go ahead and say what you wanna say.  
>You don't know what its like to be nameless,<br>want them to know what your name is,  
>'cuz see when I was younger I would say:<strong>

_**When I grow up**_**  
>I wanna be famous<br>I wanna be a star  
>I wanna be in movies<strong>

_**When I grow up**_**  
>I wanna see the world<br>Drive nice cars  
>I wanna have groupies<strong>

_**When I grow up**_**  
>Be on TV<br>People know me  
>Be on magazines<strong>

_**When I grow up**_**  
>Fresh and clean<br>Number one chick  
>When I step out on the scene<strong>

_**Be careful what you wish for  
>'cuz you just might get it<br>You just might get it  
>You just might get it<strong>_

_**Be careful what you wish for  
>'cuz you just might get it<br>You just might get it  
>You just might get it<strong>_

**They used to tell me I was silly,  
>until I popped up on the TV.<br>I always wanted to be a superstar,  
>and knew that singing songs would get me this far.<strong>

**But I ain't complaining.  
>We all wanna be famous,<br>so go ahead and say what you wanna say.  
>You don't know what its like to be nameless,<br>want them to know what your name is,  
>'cuz see when I was younger I would say:<strong>

_**When I grow up**_**  
>I wanna be famous<br>I wanna be a star  
>I wanna be in movies<strong>

_**When I grow up**_**  
>I wanna see the world<br>Drive nice cars  
>I wanna have groupies<strong>

_**When I grow up**_**  
>Be on TV<br>People know me  
>Be on magazines<strong>

_**When I grow up**_**  
>Fresh and clean<br>Number one chick  
>When I step out on the scene<strong>

_**Be careful what you wish for  
>'cuz you just might get it<br>You just might get it  
>You just might get it<strong>_

_**Be careful what you wish for  
>'cuz you just might get it<br>You just might get it  
>You just might get it<strong>_

"Oh, good God!" St. James yelled. "Cut the music!"

"What the fuck is wrong with you, asshole? I wasn't done," Lauren snapped, looking rather threatening in all black motorcycle garb. If Kurt had to guess, it would be a tribute to the album _Doll Domination_'s cover.

"Whoever told you that you could sing at all was completely deaf. There are torture forms that sound better than this. I never thought I'd hear a worse singer than Finn in this group, but you have proven me wrong," St. James ranted, hands over his ears as if they were bleeding.

"Jesse-" Mr. Schue tried to intervene, but St. James cut him off.

"You're presence on that stage is like poison seeping into the hearts of the talented people that once stood upon it. Please remove yourself from my line of sight." Ouch. St. James' words were harsher than necessary. Lauren was far from the best singer in the group, but she wasn't as awful as St. James made her seem. Drama Queen.

"Fuck you," Lauren stated, walking off the stage in the same direction Santana had.

"It's my turn," Quinn said in the silence left by Lauren's exit. "Wish me luck."

"Always," Kurt promised as Quinn headed for the stage.

"Hello. My name is Lucy Quinn Fabray, and I will be singing Idina Menzel's _Gorgeous_." Kurt raised an eyebrow at Quinn's unusual choice. It seemed more his or Rachel's wheelhouse than Quinn's...

"Finally, someone with taste," St. James commented, loud enough to be picked up by the microphone but soft enough that he could pretend it was a private statement.

_In a perfect world, in another time,  
>In a far off place we wouldn't need to justify<br>everything we are, and all that we believe.  
>We could finally be whoever we both want to be<br>And when we can't be heard, and when we can't be seen  
>I will call you close and you will reach for me.<em>

_When all of the beauty turns to pain,  
>when all of the madness falls like rain,<br>as long as we crash and we collide,  
>we will be gorgeous, you and I.<em>

_Through the window pane, through the bedroom door,  
>this city wants to fight, tut it can't touch us anymore.<br>We have come so far, we have shed our skin  
>The more that's taken from us now, the more we have to give.<br>And when we can't be heard, and when we can't be seen,  
>I will call you close and you will reach for me.<em>

_When all of the beauty turns to pain,  
>when all of the madness falls like rain,<br>as long as we crash and we collide,  
>we will be gorgeous, you and I.<em>

_And when we are drowning in the noise  
>I'm gonna stop to hear your voice<br>As long as we crash and we collide  
>We will be gorgeous, you and I.<em>

_We'll be gorgeous  
>We'll be gorgeous<br>In the perfect time  
>We'll be gorgeous<em>

_And when we lose our faith, in all that's beautiful  
>You lift me to this place, ohh.<br>_

_When all of the beauty turns to pain,  
>when all of the madness falls like rain,<br>as long as we crash and we collide,  
>we will be gorgeous, gorgeous, yeah.<em>

_And when we are drowning in the noise,  
>I'm gonna stop to find your voice.<br>As long as we crash and we collide,  
>we will be gorgeous, we will be gorgeous,<br>you and I._

_And when I lose my faith, I don't know what to do  
>You lift me to this place, and make me feel so beautiful<br>As long as you're right here by my side  
>We will be gorgeous, you and I.<em>

The song was exactly in Rachel's wheelhouse, and Rachel's range, for that matter. Quinn's version didn't sound... bad, per se, but it was obviously a strain for her voice. It was clearly an attempt to impress Finn by measuring up to Rachel. The effect it had... Kurt couldn't say.

"Interesting. You must know, of course, that Idina Menzel is an incredible talent and a Broadway legend not unlike the ever famous Patti LuPone and Ethel Merman, correct?" St. James asked. Kurt could tell by the familiar tone (he used it himself quite a bit) that St. James was using a poker face.

"Correct." Quinn held her head high and didn't look nervous in the least.

"And you are aware, naturally, that Idina Menzel is quite the soprano, which is the natural range _Gorgeous_ is in, as opposed to a wavering and easily-forgettable alto?" St. James asked in that same silky-smooth tone.

"Naturally." Now Quinn's voice contained a hint of venom, realizing she was being called out on her imitation attempt.

"And you realize that Idina Menzel's signature song is none other than _Defying Gravity_, a song that, if I am correctly informed, was covered by not one, but two people in this club, both belters of incredible range?" Quinn's mouth tightened, obviously growing tired of the very smooth inquisition.

"Yes. Kurt and Rachel both did a fantastic job of covering that song." Quinn put plenty of emphasis on the 'both,' obviously trying to get a rise out of St. James.

"I am afraid, my dear, that you simply do not have the power or vocal control to sing _Gorgeous_, or be the lead at Nationals. I admire your attempt. Next." St. James ducked his head to his sheet of 'notes' (Kurt could see they were doodles from his high position), leaving Mr. Schue to try and calm an subtly-enraged Quinn.

"You were phenomenal, Quinn. Hearing you sing that song reminded me of your funk number. I'm very impressed," Mr. Schue tried to placate the internally-fuming blonde.

"Thank you, Mr. Schuester. Jesse," she addressed him shortly before following the same route offstage. Back to the choir room, Kurt supposed.

"My name is Mercedes Jones," Mercedes said loudly into the microphone, causing St. James to jump, which was obviously her intention. "I will be singing _Take It All_ by Adele." Judging by her expression, she was clearly thinking 'damn that bitch, Santana, for stealing my idea.'

_Didn't I give it all, Tried my best,  
>Gave you everything I had, everything and no less?<br>Didn't I do it right? Did I let you down?_

_Maybe you got too used to by having me around.  
>Still how can you walk away from all my tears?<br>It's gonna be an empty road without me right here._

_But go on and take it, take it all with you.  
>Don't look back at this crumbling fool.<br>Just take it all with my love,  
>Take it all with my love.<em>

_Maybe I should leave to help you see:  
>Nothing is better than this and this is everything we need.<br>So is it over? Is this really it?  
>You've given up so easily, I thought you loved me more than this.<em>

_But go on and take it, take it all with you.  
>Don't look back at this crumbling fool.<br>Just take it all with my love,  
>Take it all with my love.<em>

_I will change if I must.  
>Slow it down and bring it home, I will adjust.<br>Oh if only, if only you knew, everything I do is for you._

_But go on and take it, take it all with you.  
>Don't look back at this crumbling fool.<br>Just take it all with my love,  
>Take it all with my love.<em>

"Wow, Mercedes, I am impressed. Not only was your belting incredible as always, but the tone of your voice was so rich," Mr. Schuester complimented.

St. James leaned forward, steepling his fingers. "A good performer, you will learn, should always have a back-up song in case of accidental repetition of artist or album. I would have thought the entirety of your club would have learned this after your very first competition. Over and over, I am being shown that I overestimated you all."

"My version sounded a hell of a lot better that 'Tana's, so shut your trap!" Mercedes snapped from the stage, upset that St. James had pointed out what she must have realized as soon as Santana spoke.

"Another similarity I noticed between your performance and Santana's was the lack of choreography. It's almost as if you planned it." Kurt could _hear_ the smirk in St. James' voice. "Tell me, Mercedes, how many times did you practice this number?"

"Practice? No, I feel my material, and I sing with emotion. I'm in the moment, Mr. St. James. I don't need to practice." Kurt almost groaned. It was not the time to stand up for her belief in free-spirited performance.

"You're not a star. You're just a girl who can really sing. I don't think you want this badly enough. You're _lazy_, Miss Jones," St. James said, that damned poker face back.

"Not too lazy to come up there and let you taste my fist!" Mercedes retorted. Kurt was sure at this point the only reaction that would get was a half-hearted protest from a now-very-frustrated-looking Mr. Schue and cheers from the waiting auditionees.

"Whoever gets this solo is gonna have to work on it day and night. Do you think you're ready for that?" Met by silence on the stage, Jesse leaned forward again. "Exactly. Next."

Kurt could half-hear whispers from the judges as Finn clambered up onto the stage, opting against using the stairs. Somehow, waiting and watching St. James rip everyone to shreds was causing Kurt to get nervous. He hadn't felt nervous in the face of a performance since he auditioned at Dalton... and if that didn't send a race of pain though his heart, he didn't know what pain was. Perhaps Rachel was right. He needed to fix himself before he attempted any other relationship, especially one that would be tenuously-formed over a long period of time with someone who was _straight_.

"Uh, hey, Jesse, Mr. S. My name is Finn Hudson, but you knew that, and I'm singing _Waiting for a Girl like You_ by Foreigner."

_So long, I've been looking too hard, I've been waiting too long  
>Sometimes I don't know what I will find<br>I only know it's a matter of time  
>When you love someone... When you love someone...<em>

_It feels so right, so warm and true, I need to know if you feel it too.  
>Maybe I'm wrong, won't you tell me if I'm coming on too strong?<br>This heart of mine has been hurt before. This time I wanna be sure._

_I've been waiting, for a girl like you to come into my life.  
>I've been waiting, for a girl like you and a love that will survive.<br>I've been waiting for someone new to make me feel alive.  
>Yeah, waiting for a girl like you to come into my life.<em>

_You're so good, when we make love it's understood,  
>it's more than a touch or a word we say<br>Only in dreams could it be this way  
>When you love someone... Yeah, really love someone...<em>

_Now I know it's right from the moment I wake up till deep in the night.  
>There's no where on earth that I'd rather be than holding you, tenderly.<em>

_I've been waiting, for a girl like you to come into my life.  
>I've been waiting, for a girl like you and a love that will survive.<br>I've been waiting for someone new to make me feel alive.  
>Yeah, waiting for a girl like you to come into my life.<em>

_I've been waiting,  
>waiting for you, ooh.<br>Ooh-ooh, I've been waiting.  
>I've been waiting, yeah.<br>I've been waiting for a girl like you, I've been waiting.  
>Won't you come into my life?<br>I've been waiting for a girl like you._

"Well, I must say," St. James began before Mr. Schue could get a word in, "you chose a song that fit your voice very well." Finn brightened like the sun, and Kurt winced. Finn loved praise, but he wouldn't fare as well as the girls had under St. James' criticism. "However, your song choice was very in-the-box and typical. There was no originality or surprise to enrich the performance. You came onto the stage, not in the way I expected, I might add," Finn blushed and fidgeted slightly at the mention of the stairs he had forgotten, "but sang exactly the kind of song I expected you to."

"Jesse..." Mr. Schue left a trailing warning.

"Let's just get this out in the open. You auditioned for this part wishing to woo one of the two girls left in the wings." Kurt's face burned. Rachel was the only girl left. "Which, I have no clue, and it is none of my concern. However, both of them far exceed your vocal potential, and you can't hope to keep up with either of them vocally. Drop this ill-fated attempt, and fade back into the background where you belong." Finn looked stricken and Kurt made a mental note to bring him warm milk later. "Next." For once, Mr. Schue offered no comment.

"Dude..." Finn seemed about to protest but left it alone, exiting the stage by the stairs.

"Uh, hey, I'm Sam Evans, and I'm singing _Tonight_ by FM Static." Kurt had to marvel at how unintentionally alike their introductions were.

_I remember the time we spent together on those drives,  
>we had a million questions all about our lives,<br>and when we got to New York everything felt right.  
>I wish you were here with me... tonight.<em>

_I remember the days we spent together were not enough,  
>and it used to feel like dreaming, except we always woke up.<br>Never thought not having you here now would hurt so much._

_Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up,  
>I need your loving hands to come and pick me up,<br>and every night I miss you I can just look up,  
>and know the stars are holding you, holding you, holding you tonight.<em>

_I remember the time you told me about when you were eight,  
>and all those things you said that night that just couldn't wait.<br>I remember the car you were last seen in and the games we would play,  
>all those times we spilt our coffees and stayed out way too late.<em>

_I remember the time you sat and told me about your Jesus,  
>and how not to look back even if no one believes us.<br>When it hurts so bad sometimes not having you here, I sing:_

_Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up,  
>I need your loving hands to come and pick me up,<br>and every night I miss you I can just look up  
>and know the stars are holding you, holding you, holding you tonight.<em>

_I sing: Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up,  
>I need your loving hands to come and pick me up,<br>and every night I miss you I can just look up,  
>and know the stars are holding you, holding you, holding you tonight.<em>

Sam looked incredibly uncomfortable under St. James' gaze in the silence that followed his performance. "You know what a Vocal Adrenaline member would call that song?" St. James finally asked.

"No, sir," Sam answered formally, and the auditionees waiting rolled their eyes, Rachel very carefully sitting between Kurt and Puck.

"Fluff. An entertaining, yet meaningless and mediocre work that is sung for private serenades or vocal practice only," St. James answered. "Samuel, you have talent. You squander it with pieces of 'art' such as this, modern attempts at a heartfelt ballad. Frankly, I am disappointed the most in your song choice."

"Your singing was very good for what you chose," Mr. Schue added helpfully.

"However, I have one more problem with you. A frontrunner must be someone with stage presence, someone bold and memorable who is not afraid of their talents. You have no stage presence, even now that I have said this you are shrinking away from my mildly-intimidating gaze, and, to be frank, you aren't memorable." Jesse leaned back.

"Next," Mr. Schue said, sounding tired and frustrated. Kurt felt both pity and vindictive satisfaction. It was his fault for involving Jesse St. James in anything.

"Wish me luck, princess," Puck said, loud enough for the judges to hear and not caring, ignoring Rachel's frantic quieting gesture. Kurt nodded once at his friend, and forced a smile onto his face.

"Shalom! I'm Noah Puckerman, and I'll be performing _No Boundaries_ by Kris Allen." Kurt's eyebrows almost jumped off of his forehead. Kris Allen was not in Puck's repertoire.

_Seconds, hours, so many days,  
>you know what you want but how long can you wait?<br>Every moment lasts forever  
>when you feel you lost your way.<em>

_And what if my chances were already gone?  
>Started believing that I could be wrong,<br>but you give me one good reason  
>to fight and never walk away.<br>So here I am, still holding on..._

_With every step you climb another mountain,  
>every breath it's harder to believe.<br>You make it through the pain, weather the hurricanes  
>to get to that one thing.<em>

_Just when you think the road is going nowhere,  
>just when you almost gave up on your dreams,<br>they take you by the hand and show you that you can.  
>There are no boundaries!<br>There are no boundaries!_

_I fought to the limit to stand on the edge.  
>What if today is as good it gets?<br>Don't know where the future's headed,  
>but nothing's gonna bring me down.<em>

_I've jumped every bridge and I've run every line,  
>I've risked being saved but I always knew why,<br>I always knew why!  
>So hear I am, still holding on!<em>

_With every step you climb another mountain,  
>every breath it's harder to believe.<br>You make it through the pain, weather the hurricanes  
>to get to that one thing.<em>

_Just when you think the road is going nowhere,  
>just when you almost gave up on your dreams,<br>they take you by the hand and show you that you can..._

_You can go higher, you can go deeper,  
>there are no boundaries above and beneath you.<br>Break every rule 'cause there's nothing between you and your dreams..._

_With every step you climb another mountain,  
>every breath it's harder to believe!<br>Yeah! There are no boundaries!  
>There are no boundaries!<em>

_With every step you climb another mountain,  
>every breath it's harder to believe!<br>You make it through the pain, weather the hurricanes...  
>There are no boundaries!<br>There are no boundaries!  
>There are no boundaries...<em>

"Oh my God." "Oh my GaGa." Rachel and Kurt looked at each other, identical expressions of shock meeting. Both were completely blown away by the performance Puck had just given, so unlike his normal, yet so strong and powerful.

"Kurt? Was that... for you?" Rachel asked quietly while the judges were still in shock.

"I... I don't know, Rachel." It very well could have been. The song was a song of healing. No matter what happened, you could do anything. There are no boundaries on what you can do in life, no matter how you've been hurt. You can always reach your dreams. They were the very fundamentals Kurt tried to live by, and the one's he needed the most now. "It couldn't have been Rachel. Noah wouldn't have thought the song through that far. Must just be a coincidence." Kurt realized how weak that sounded, but Rachel didn't comment.

"Wow, Puck," Mr. Schue broke the silence at the judges table. "I've never heard you sing like that. Your voice sounded so... open, so honest. The best comparison I can make is when you and Rachel sang _Need You Now_, but that doesn't even come close. I am very impressed."

"You aren't much of a belter though," St. James cut in with the criticism. "_No Boundaries_, originally sung by American Idol Cycle 8 winner Kris Allen and covered by American Idol Cycle 8 runner-up Adam Lambert, is intended for strong male belting voices. Unfortunately, the only male belter in this club is in a wheelchair. You did an admirable job of covering the song without belting, but your performance didn't truly cover up your weakness. Next."

"Fuck off, St. James, no one wants you around here anyway," Puck responded, flipping the irritating man off before jumping off the stage in a very Slick-Rick way.

"Good luck, Kurt. I hope for an honest and fair competition between the two of us as the best singers in this club," Rachel said, quickly but solemnly.

"Thank you, Rachel." Kurt headed for the stage, ignoring the way Puck tapped his arm to get his attention.

"My name is Kurt Hummel, and I will be singing _Bound to You_ from the movie _Burlesque_, originally sung by Christina Aguilera." Kurt took a deep breath and focused, narrowing in thoughts of Blaine which fueled the anguish of the song and trying to push Puck out of his head. He didn't fail to notice the rest of the auditionees sneak back in to watch his and Rachel's performances.

_Sweet love, sweet love  
>Trapped in your love<br>I've opened up, unsure I can trust  
>My heart and I were buried in dust<br>Free me, free us_

_You're all I need when I'm holding you tight  
>If you walk away I will suffer tonight<em>

_I found a man I can trust  
>And boy, I believe in us<br>I am terrified to love for the first time  
>Can you see that I'm bound in chains?<br>I finally found my way  
>I am bound to you<br>I am bound to you_

_So much, so young  
>I've faced on my own<br>Walls I built up became my home  
>I'm strong and I'm sure there's a fire in us<br>Sweet love, so pure_

_I catch my breath, we're just one beating heart  
>And I brace myself, please don't tear this apart<em>

_I found a man I can trust  
>And boy, I believe in us<br>I am terrified to love for the first time  
>Can't you see that I'm bound in chains?<br>I finally found my way  
>I am bound to you<br>I am bound to..._

_Suddenly the moment's here  
>I embrace my fears<br>All that I have been carrying all these years  
>Do I risk it all?<br>Come this far just to fall, fall_

_Oh, I can trust  
>And boy, I believe in us<br>I am terrified to love for the first time  
>Can you see that I'm bound in chains?<br>And finally found my way  
>I am bound to you<em>

_I am,  
>Ooh, I am<br>I'm bound to you _

Kurt had closed his eyes in the spotlight. Reveling in the applause he was getting from his fellow gleeks, he looked to the judges' table, noting their shocked expressions with success before St. James pulled on a poker face.

"Kurt... I have never heard you sing like that. We've just had one spectacular performance after another, but, so far, I think you just took the cake. That was incredible, especially near the end. You have grown and changed so much since you sang _Mr. Cellophane_ for your Glee audition." Mr. Schuester seemed honestly shocked, but Kurt had to wonder if the over-support beyond that that anyone else had gotten was his way of trying to make up for having neglected Kurt in the past two years.

"As sentimental as that is," oh boy, here comes Train St. James, "you are aware that song is meant to be sung by a woman, correct?" St. James asked, looking at Kurt the way most people looked at Finn during Algebra II.

"Did I not say 'originally sung by Christina Aguilera'?" Kurt asked, placing his hands on his hips and staring at St. James relentlessly.

"Why, yes, you did. Do you also realize there is no way you could sing a song like that at Nationals?" St. James asked, looking far too smug for Kurt's liking.

"Yes, I do. Do _you_ know what I am not, in fact, a moron, and am perfectly capable of processing rational thought?" Kurt asked with a roll of his eyes.

"Kurt, Jesse, be nice," Mr. Schue admonished the arguing men.

"Of course I know that. However, I feel that singing a girl's song that referenced men was completely inappropriate. There are plenty of less gender-specific songs that you could have sung. Next." The corner of St' James' mouth turned up, and, Jacobs, he hated this man.

"The Glee Club sort of dealt with that whole boys singing songs that are meant for girls. It's kind of old news. I am perfectly capable of choosing situation-appropriate songs, though I am sorry if I made you uncomfortable. Seeing as no one else is uncomfortable with my song choice, and they seemed to enjoy my performance, your personal prejudice should not penalize my performance." Kurt smirked at a now-speechless St. James before flouncing (yes, flouncing. Normally he would kill anyone who accused him of flouncing, but now he did it on purpose to spite St. James) off stage.

"Hi. My name is Rachel Berry, and I'll be singing the most difficult song I've ever sung." Rachel was wringing her hands nervously, and Kurt almost rolled his eyes, taking his seat next to Quinn. Considering that St. James was now smiling like a love-struck moron, she really didn't have anything to worry about.

"Great. What song?" Mr. Schuester asked, clearly tired of auditions and ready to be ride of Rachel's dramatics.

"Barbra's closing number to my favorite movie, _Funny Girl_." Rachel, being Rachel, couldn't just say the title and origin like everyone else.

"Rachel, in your head, are you singing to anyone in particular?" St. James asked.

"Why, Jesse, you didn't ask _me_ that," Kurt joked to Quinn, who clapped a hand over her mouth to muffle her laughter.

"Not really," Rachel lied. Yes, she lied. She was singing to Finn, asshole, so back off.

"Oh," was all St. James said, and Kurt hoped to all that's holy (Prada, GaGa, Madonna, and Jacobs, of course) that he picked up on the lie.

_Oh, my man, I love him so.  
>He'll never know.<br>All my life is just despair,  
>but I don't care.<br>When he takes me in his arms,  
>the world is bright, all right.<em>

_What's the difference if I say  
>I'll go away,<br>When I know I'll come back  
>on my knees someday?<br>For whatever my man is,  
>I am his forevermore.<em>

_Oh, my man, I love him so.  
>He'll never know.<br>All my life is just despair,  
>but I don't care.<br>When he takes me in his arms,  
>the world is bright, all right.<em>

_What's the difference if I say  
>I'll go away,<br>When I know I'll come back  
>on my knees someday?<br>For whatever my man is  
>I am his forever more.<em>

"She may be difficult, but boy, can she sing," Kurt said in the silence following Rachel's mind-blowing performance.

"I have to be honest," St. James began with a lie. "That was brilliant. I have nothing but the tip of my hat."

"Garbage, this is rigged!" Santana yelled, standing up and pointing towards Rachel, clearly preparing to bitch her out in Spanish.

"Hold on, Santana. Like I said before, I make the final call here," Mr. Schuester tried to appease the Latina diva.

"Well, then make it," Mercedes challenged from Santana's side.

"Out of respect to you all, I'm going to take a couple days and consider all the results. Now, I will let you all know by Friday. Great job, _everyone_." A unsatisfied murmur passed through the assembled students, but nobody commented.

"And let the war begin."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: And auditions done. I was going to continue this chapter, but I decided to break it up again so you could have this earlier (like 2:22 AM early...). So, here you go. Plenty of sass and St. James' assholism (that's officially a word).**

**Songs used:**_  
>'Rumour Has It'<em> by Adele_  
>'When I Grow Up'<em> by the Pussycat Dolls (_Italics is Brittany/Tina_, **Bold is Lauren**, _**Both is all**_)_  
>'Gorgeous'<em> by Idina Menzel_  
>'Take It All' <em>by Adele_  
>'Waiting for a Girl like you'<em> by Foreigner_  
>'Tonight'<em> by FM Static_  
>'No Boundaries'<em> by Kris Allen_  
>'Bound to You' <em>from _Burlesque_/by Christina Aguilera_  
>'My Man'<em> from _Funny Girl_/by Barbra Streisand/by Glee Cast

**Note: Jesse's views are not my own, but rather what I suspect he would say about each performance I set up. No hatin' on me (feel free to hate on Jesse).**

**Other note: If you have a question about why I chose or changed a song, feel free to ask, I have explanations for all of them, but don't complain about me changing them without asking first. If you don't like my explanation, feel free to rip my head off!**

**Reviews are Love.**


	11. Oompaloompa Doompadeedoo

**A/N: BEFORE THE SPANISH-SPEAKING COMMUNITY MURDERS ME, I COULD REALLY USE SOME HELP WITH SANTANA'S SPANISH! Oops. Dumb caps lock. I'm playing 'write a chapter with no planning'. Tell me how I do.**

* * *

><p>"Jesse St. James totally Jesse St. Sucks!" Kurt declared, leading the march back into the empty choir room, quickly followed by a contradicting Rachel. "Did you not hear him? He said I shouldn't be singing girls' songs? No! He didn't even say that. He said I shouldn't be singing songs directed at guys. He let his own personal prejudice interfere with his impartial judging. This is exactly why Adam Lambert didn't come out until after American Idol!"<p>

"Kurt, Jesse is not homophobic. There were plenty of gay Vocal Adrenaline members that he both respected and interacted with in a peaceful manner," Rachel argued as everyone else either grabbed their bags or sat down to talk about the auditions and Kurt took a seat at the piano bench, preparing to rant more about the biased dickhead.

"Believe me, I know." Many a creepy Vocal Adrenaline member had hit on him, thank you very much, Rachel.

"I think the winner of four show choir championships might be able to give us all some valuable advice," Rachel choked out as she frantically chugged her water.

"Chugging is bad for your throat," Kurt commented, idly tapping out an old piano exercise.

"We all know you're in love with him Rachel, but do you have to be so obvious?" Mercedes commented from her seat next to Tina, and Kurt grinned.

"Don't use the fact that Jesse and I once had feelings for each other as an excuse for my inevitable win," Rachel declared, waving a hand at Mercedes. The chocolate diva looked very tempted to bite it off and watch Rachel scream and writhe in pain.

"Correction: you had feelings for him, he made breakfast on your head," Kurt added rather pettily.

"Look, Jesse and I both appreciate the integrity of show choir too much to soil the competition. He's just going to vote for whoever was best." Rachel whirled in her chair, as if to say 'end of discussion.' Not even close.

"That would be me. You guys can fight over who's gonna come in second all you want because I kicked that song square in the balls. I'm so gonna win this thing." Once again, Santana's overconfidence shown through. Kurt rolled his eyes, banging on the two keys to make the Jaws theme. Santana overestimated Schue's ability to control Jesse's mind games.

"Why didn't you audition Tina?" Kurt asked, still running his fingers over the familiar piano keys, attempting to divert Mercedes, Santana, and Rachel before there was dark hair flying and Santana potentially proved that she really did have razor blades in her hair. GaGa, why did everything have to make him think of Blaine?

"I knew I wouldn't get it with St. Asshole. Plus, auditions have never really been my thing. You know that," she added quietly at the end, and Kurt nodded. Tina was too shy to truly utilize her talent, and it had been even worse since the heckling on the Night of Neglect.

"What about you Artie?" Rachel practically pounced (verbally) on the wheelchair-bound boy, who looked distinctly uncomfortable with the way the soprano was looking at him.

"Having me as the central focus would just be awkward and throw off the whole dynamic, unless we decided to do wheelchair-bound numbers and ignore the potential for the judges thinking we copied Jane Adams," he grimaced as he spoke, and Kurt sent him a grimace of sympathy. The number had meant so much to him, and the Jane Adams girls had stolen it.

"Actually, it could potentially have solved the problem of you throwing off our dynamic. Many a Vocal Adrenaline performer who has been the central focus couldn't dance, and would be placed in a strategic area in order to allow free movement of the stage for the dancers while still be incorporated in the number. They were simply lucky that Jesse is such an incredible singer and dancer, and could allow them to do an amazing version of Bohemian Rhapsody-" Rachel babbled on and on.

"I'm gonna cut Hobbit off right here or else I mights shoot her," Santana said, breaking into Rachel's running monologue. Kurt and the rest of the club laughed once they realized she didn't have anything important to say, she just wanted Rachel to stop talking. "Hey, Britt-Britt, why didn't you audition?"

"But then I wouldn't get to dance," Brittany said, confused. Kurt wasn't entirely sure she got the concept of leading for Nationals, but she had a point. Brittany's voice wasn't as incredible as her moves and she would be a better asset as a dancer, considering they had so few.

"And I can't sing," Mike cut in, knowing he would be the next one questioned. "Plus, I dance with Brittany."

"That's the only reason you got past at Sectionals," Kurt revealed, wincing inwardly at bringing up the topic. Wes, David, and Thad had ignored the pressure to spy on the judges, but as they had no authority over Charlie, he had happily informed them of the judges' views. "Judges are far too easily impressed by a cappella choirs, especially those who create their own accompaniment instead of just singing into thin air."

"Exactly why we need all of our best dancers to be focused on dancing," Rachel pointed out, almost as subtly as Kurt was with everything, glancing towards Santana as she spoke.

"Some of us can multitask. Like, for instance, being able to control the faces we're making as we sing," Santana shot back with a vicious smirk, and everyone still in the room cracked up.

"It's true, Rach, you always look like you're trying to envelop a watermelon in your mouth," Kurt said with a little smirk, knowing he didn't do that.

"Or a really big dick," Brittany added, making the room quiet and Rachel flush a spectacular red. Too bad red wasn't her color.

"Come on, Britt-Britt," Santana broke the awkward silence after a few minutes. "Let's blow this joint." Brittany followed like an obedient puppy, and Kurt frowned at the little display. Santana could boss Brittany around and make her love the Latina bitch, but she wouldn't come out for her?

"I need to go as well. Good luck to all of you... except Rachel," Quinn let out a little parting comment against everyone's least favorite soprano and then left, dragging Puck away with her by the arm and interrupting his conversation with Artie uncaring.

Slowly the rest of the club wandered out, most with parting comments toward a now-very-annoyed Rachel, until the only two left in the choir room were Kurt and the still-flushed soprano. Feeling another one of their little 'conversations' coming on and trying valiantly to avoid it, he began playing notes at random, weaving together a soft melody.

"Can I ask you something?" The very oblivious Rachel came and sat next to him at the bench, watching his fingers move with mild interest.

"If you must," Kurt replied. "I make no promises about answering."

"What was your song about?"

* * *

><p>"Ow, bitch! I was having a conversation!" Damn it, Quinn was strong.<p>

Ignoring the complaining jock she was dragging along, Quinn continued out to car and unlocked it before practically shoving Puck into the passenger seat. Locking him into the car just for her short walk to the driver's seat, Quinn gave him a moment to cool down before getting into the car with him.

"What was that?" she asked frantically, annoyed with the mohawked boy.

"What was what, cranky?" Puck seemed to be checking his bicep for bruises. "At least you didn't mark the goods. I have people to woo, y'know."

"The song, Noah. What was the song about?" Quinn asked, more patiently this time.

"Stuff. I just thought it sounded good." The mohawked boy protected his secrets.

"Who was it for, Noah?" Quinn asked, calmly, but this was clearly the wrong question to ask.

"I don't sing songs for chicks, Quinn, I'm not a fucking preppy boy!" Puck exploded, moving away from her as best he could in the small area afforded to him and turning his head from her.

"You wrote a song for Lauren," she pointed out. "You sang a song for me, and for Rachel. You... you told me that you loved me." The last part was quietest, and followed by silence in the car.

"I did. I do."

"No you don't, Noah. If you ever did, you don't anymore, at least not in that way. You and I... we never would have worked. I love you like a brother, and I know you feel the same way, but it'll never be like that again. We have too much history." The conversation had turned to whispering as they talked about the words outside the hospital room, the words both had sworn to themselves would never be mentioned again.

"Like hell we do!" Puck said, but with more passion than anger.

"Noah, that song wasn't for me." There was no answer to Quinn's statement, because Puck didn't like lying to her. "It was sweet, but it wasn't to woo me. So who was it for?"

* * *

><p>"I think it is very obvious to someone as musically gifted as you, I begrudgingly admit, are," Kurt deflected, wishing Rachel wasn't so very nosy. Rachel sat for a few moments in silence, as if planning her words for once, before answering.<p>

"The lyrics are clear. The meaning is not," was all she said in reply, and Kurt allowed his impromptu song to become a little faster and angrier.

"I chose that song because it allowed me to emote like no other song I can think of would. The parallels in the lyrics that could technically fit Blaine and I are simply coincidences." Kurt didn't feel bad lying through his teeth to Rachel, because it certainly wasn't the first time he hadn't been one hundred percent honest with the soprano.

"I didn't hear any parallels between you and Blaine,' Rachel stated quietly. Kurt turned to stare at her in shock, allowing his fingers to quiet the music as he did. "I heard parallels between you, Noah, and Blaine." Now, that truly hadn't been his intention.

"I have no idea what you are talking about, and I'm actually being honest this time." While Rachel wasn't actually psychic, she was very perceptive as to lies, and Kurt knew he had been caught.

"The first verse applies to Blaine, what it was like when you first met him. Uncertain that you could truly love him because of what had happened in your past, but wanting to anyway because you felt so much." Kurt stopped playing as she spoke. One could never say that Rachel Berry didn't have an explanation for her words, as convoluted as they sometimes were. "You felt connected to him, protected by him, and you allowed yourself to fall in love, to let him save you, trusting him not to break you, but knowing he could."

"Thank you, I must say again, for rehashing all of this," Kurt responded sardonically, standing up and gathering his music for his bag, as though that would make Rachel stop talking.

"The second verse is the truest. You've been through hell again and again, and it never should have happened to someone so young and innocent. Yet, you loved Blaine with all your heart, and allowed him past all the walls you had built up against everyone. Even your family isn't allowed inside those walls, even Mercedes. Unfortunately, when you two were one beating heart," Rachel quoted directly, "he tore you two apart, and you became bound to a memory."

"Suddenly, the moment's here. Noah's here, once one of your main aggressors, now a friend and teammate. In order to love him, you have to put aside all of the fears you carry, and put your heart on the line after it has been broken. You're bound to Noah. You love him," Rachel ended quietly, and Kurt whirled on her.

"I do not love Noah," he hissed. "My subconscious has some sick sort of Stockholm Syndrome at best. Am I attracted to him? Of course, who wouldn't be? Is he attracted to me? Of course not. One dream and a small portion of attraction does not true love make!"

"You could love him," Rachel amended quietly. "You know you could."

"It's certainly a good thing I don't," Kurt said finally, stalking out of the room.

* * *

><p>"I keep telling you, that dumbass song wasn't for anyone. St. Flatass was supposed to be impressed by my... music box." Puck couldn't think of the term.<p>

"Wheelhouse," Quinn supplied with a smile, keeping the mental note that Puck had been checking out Jesse's butt. "And you can tell me over and over that No Boundaries wasn't for anyone, but you would be so angry at me if I lied to you that many times."

"I'm not lying, Quinn. The songs about all those dumb ideas Broadway hopefuls and failures like. Never giving up on your dreams and that shit." Puck stubbornly refused to admit that he had heard Kurt listening to the song once when he was over playing video games at Finn's and had to take a piss. He hadn't been able to find the version Kurt was listening to, it was probably by that qu-gay dude St. Flatass had mentioned, but he had thought it was pretty kickass, especially listening to Kurt sing along.

"Noah, you would never pick a song to appease two people you don't care about all that much. Mr. Schue is nice and lovely and helpful to everyone, but that song was for someone you care about, and that person wasn't me. Was it Rachel?" she asked, faking meek but knowing the answer was 'no'.

"Fuck no!" Puck shouted, starting a laugh out of Quinn. "She has enough boys wrapped around her finger begging for a grab at that flat chest, she doesn't need a third!"

"That's not nice, Noah," Quinn reprimanded, though she secretly approved. Noah didn't seem too bothered by the objective either way. "Was it Lauren?" She would actually be pretty mad if the answer was 'yes.'

"No, she'd think that song was total bullshit, which it is." Quinn sighed in relief.

"Was it... Mercedes?" Quinn pulled the name out of her head, thinking the black diva would be the type of Broadway-loving girl to like that song about aspiring.

"Tried that, never going back," Puck said solemnly and Quinn giggled.

"Santana would agree with Lauren, Brittany would be confused, Tina has a boyfriend," she glared at Puck for reassurance and got a shake of the head, "so who else could it possibly be?"

"Don't worry about it, Quinnilla, you'll find out soon enough," Puck slipped out of the car which Quinn had forgotten to re-lock upon her own entry.

"Shoot."

* * *

><p>"He's an asshole, you know, and completely wrong." Finn jumped about a foot at the sound of Kurt's voice. "You are New York City good, whether you believe it or not." The countertenor was lounging at his door frame, holding two slightly steaming mugs. "May I come in?"<p>

"How did you know I said that? 'New York City good,'" Finn clarified at Kurt's confused look.

"I was talking to Rachel earlier." The statement wasn't quite a lie, but wasn't quite the truth either. He had been talking to Rachel, but Finn hadn't even been mentioned. Truth is, he'd been eavesdropping. Sue him.

"I'm not New York City good. You, Rach, Blaine, Jesse, Mercedes... you're all fantastic. I'm average." Kurt snorted at his brother's statement, taking Finn's lack of answer to his original question as an invitation into his room. Taking a seat on his bed, Kurt handed Finn the mug before replying.

"Finn, considering that you consider me New York City good, does that not give me the expertise required to know that you're better than you think you are. Jesse's not as good as he thinks he is. You have an amazing future ahead of you, with whoever makes you the happiest you can be. Jesse is stuck on a girl with bigger dreams than him, and he's probably going to be stuck in Lima as a show choir consultant for Ohio as long as he lives. So, who's New York City good again?" Finn smiled at his brother;s attempts.

"Dude, Rachel tries to like.. train me and stuff. I can't be that good," Finn argued.

"Perhaps you should let her. Singing is like sports. You have to practice, learn, and always try your hardest. What's better than learning from the pros?" Finn was silent. "If you wanted, instead of being a singing puppet to your psychotic ex-girlfriend and stalker," Finn laughed a little at that, giving Kurt a disapproving look at the same time, "I could give you some lessons. Despite Rachel's beliefs, we are one hundred percent equal in talent, and I'm more patient."

"That's definitely true. Singing lessons would be awesome, thanks dude." Finn took a sip of his milk and the room lapsed into not-entirely-comfortable silence before Kurt broached the topic he'd been looking for advice on.

"Finn?" Kurt asked, and the jock nodded for him to go on. "What do you think of Noah?"

"What do you mean?" Finn asked, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand and earning a frown from a slightly-disgusted Kurt.

"I don't know. Is he a good person?" Kurt asked, clutching at his warm milk as he waited for Finn to answer.

"Yeah. I mean, things have been screwed up between us lately, but he's a good guy. We've been friends since we were tykes. I was there for him when his dad left, but that was the last time I think I really knew him, y'know?" At the shake of Kurt's head, Finn elaborated. "He changed after that. A lot. 'Noah' became 'Puck' to almost everyone. He started picking on littler dudes, and hitting on older chicks. He was twelve when he lost his virginity," Finn admitted, and thankfully didn't notice how Kurt's eyes bulged out of his head. "He's fucked over a hundred people since. He has a list. It's pretty creepy."

"What about... recently?" Kurt didn't want to say 'Quinn,' but they both knew what he was referring to.

"Puck and I got into some fights. Hell, Puck and everyone got into some fights. He used to ditch the team almost every night. He would come to school with bruises the next morning. Then that stopped, and he stopped nailing Cheerios for about a month. Then he nailed Quinn, and the rest is history. I... forgive him, though, I guess. He was really screwed up. Plus, we're back together now, and it's all good. Better than good, actually," Finn grinned, and Kurt stopped it right there.

"I don't want to hear it, Cowboy," Kurt declared, putting a hand up. "We've all seen the hickeys." Finn flushed a little at that one. "I should do my homework, and so should you." Kurt urged, but Finn ignored him as always.

"Thanks for the milk, dude," Finn called after him, almost jumping up and spilling his precious milk everyone.

"Don't call me 'dude,'" was what Kurt called in reply, and it felt... domestic. Brotherly. It was nice.

* * *

><p>"Where do you find these songs?" Rachel asked, awed, as she held the Internet-made sheet music for <em>Finally Free<em> in her hands.

"You're not the only one with five iPods, Miss Berry," the club had taken to calling Rachel that after Puck and Mike's little impromptu rap. "Though, I must admit, I found this particular song watching a horrible gymnastics TV show on one of the days I simply didn't want to get out of bed."

"This is perfect, Kurt, it's everything that should be expressed at a proper funeral," Mr. Schue supported the idea. "Did you have any ideas as to who would be singing it?"

"As the song is completely acoustic, it would be simplest if the male lead played guitar, but I didn't have any specific suggestions." Kurt was hoping that this would be the one rehearsal that solos would not be fought over, but auditioned for honorably.

"I'll do it," Puck raised his hand, surprising everyone in the room.

"That's great, Puck. How about you and... Rachel?"

"I'll do it," Puck repeated, "on one condition. Princess is singing it with me." It took everyone in the room, including the 'princess' mentioned, to realize who he was talking about.

"Are you sure that's the best idea for a funeral? Not to be rude, but encouraging that kind of... reaction at such a sacred ceremony..." Mr. Schue let his statement trail off at Kurt's frantic nodding and the shake of Puck's head.

"Do you seriously think that anyone who was friends with Jean Sylvester would be homophobic? She wouldn't put up with that shit. Plus, we're not together or anything. It's just a song. Two people that are not romantically involved can sing a song together," Puck pointed out, and, damn, Kurt had no argument.

"Fine, but let it be known that I am _not_ happy about this arrangement."

Kurt pointedly stood far away from Puck by the piano as Puck strummed on the stool set up in the middle of the room, seemingly indifferent as to the location of his duet partner. By the time they were done, everyone in the club was in tears or almost there due to their performance (except, perhaps, Rachel, who was probably upset that she wasn't singing the song).

"Kurt, Puck, you have to do that song. Your voices blend so perfectly, and it suits you both so perfectly, vocal wise. Kurt's high, pure voice doesn't even overpower your low, calm tones. It's amazing," Quinn breathed out praise. Both boys suspected the words were more of Quinn's misguided attempts to help get them together than actual support for the song, but the rest of the club seemed to be in agreement.

"I will consent to doing this song for the funeral, but may I state that it is under protest!" Everyone ignored Kurt as they showered the duet partners with praise.

"Just try not to sound like you want to kill each other next time," Mercedes added with a laugh, wiping away a few stray tears.

* * *

><p>"Finn, where are you going?" Kurt called to his brother as the jock started to leave.<p>

They had managed to get their duet sounding incredible, despite Kurt's extreme reluctance to be anywhere near Pick, and the decorations for the funeral seemed flawless. The venue was reserved, all that was left was the itinerary for the ceremony.

"Home?" Finn's statement was a question, as always.

"We're cleaning out Jean's stuff, remember?" Kurt asked patiently, knowing that Finn had not actually remembered.

"Oh, yeah." The two brothers walked out to the car in silence. "Dude, are you sure you can handle this?"

"Of course, Finn. As nice as Jean was to everyone, it will be much easier for you and I to do this than for Coach Sylvester." Kurt tried to deflect Finn's question, but sometimes Finn's obliviousness was his best advantage.

"What were you saying earlier this week, about not regretting spending every moment with someone who had died or something?" Finn's questions just got worse and worse.

"Finn, I didn't want to talk about this before, and I certainly don't want to talk about this now." Kurt thought the subject had dropped as they got in the car, but Finn started again with the questions as soon as Kurt had pulled out of the parking lot.

"Did something happen with your mom?" Finn asked tentatively, knowing Mrs. Hummel was always a touchy subject.

"She _died_, Finn. Of course something happened," Kurt said, half-sarcastically, trying desperately to avoid this conversation, the one he knew would happen eventually but was dreading anyway.

"How did she die?" Finn asked, and the dam broke.

"Of cancer. She was diagnosed a week before my fifth birthday. I wasn't even told until seven months later, because that was the time that she had to go to the hospital... to start _living_ at the hospital." Finn didn't offer a word of comfort or interruption. "I wanted to spend every moment at the hospital for a while, going as far as cutting school and running to the hospital to visit. The nurses never commented, knowing what I didn't, that she was terminal."

"Dude, I'm-" Kurt cut him off quickly.

"If you want to hear a story, don't interrupt." Once he was sure that Finn wasn't going to interrupt, he spoke again, keeping his eyes firmly on the road as he tried to focus on _not_ crashing them into a tree. "She got sicker and sicker... we'll talk about this more once we're there."

The ride there was completely silent, only broken by the 80s rock Kurt had allowed, due to the fact that music was farthest from the center of his mind at the time. When they got there, neither boy got out of the car.

"She got sicker and sicker," Kurt started again, voice shaking, "and it got harder and harder to watch. I figured out for myself that she wasn't going to walk out of that hospital alive when I saw her vomit blood, and that was a month before she did. During that month," Kurt took a deep breath, trying to ignore the tears cascading down his face, "I didn't visit her at all. I couldn't, it was too hard, but, God, now I wish I had. I wish I had sat there with her and told her how much I loved her. I wish I had been there when she d-died." Kurt broke and buried his face into his hands as he sobbed, barely aware of Finn's warm arms wrapping around him as he tried to control his brother's sobbing.

"Sh, sh," Finn muttered, and Kurt turned into his warm neck, allowing himself to cry freely into the boy who had become his brother. "It's okay, Kurt, she knew that you loved her, and she _knows_ that you _love_ her." Those words, however true, made it even harder to stop crying, and Kurt must have bawled into Finn's shoulder for a good fifteen minutes before the sobs subsided to light hiccups and spare tears.

"I'm sorry. I've never talked about it before, and..." Finn clamped a clumsily-big hand over his mouth.

"Don't worry about it, dude. Wipe off your face, Miss Sylvester doesn't tolerate signs of weakness well." Kurt laughed slightly as he wiped his tears away with a tissue. "Let's go inside."

"Thank you, Finn."

* * *

><p>"We sorted Jean's stuff into piles," Kurt addressed Miss Sylvester, who was staring at a clipboard with a look of confusion and loss. "Over there are some old magazines and newspapers that you can just toss out."<p>

"A-and this is stuff you're definitely going to want to keep," Finn continued, obviously intimidated by the coach. "Uh, photos and stuffed animals. And this third pile is stuff that we don't really know what to do with. Um..."

"Pom-pom!" Kurt said, far too cheerfully for someone who had had a breakdown in the car about half an hour ago.

"Toss it," Miss Sylvester said automatically. "It's not worth anything."

"Are you sure?" Kurt said, and Finn knew he was thinking about his mom again.

"_Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory_," Finn read off one of the... super old DVDs.

"Oh, I love that movie," Kurt said with a little nostalgic smile.

"Then, you can take it. It's probably worn out. She watched it at least three times a week," Miss Sylvester was speaking emotionlessly. Flipping up the papers on her clipboard, she looked around. "Just toss it all out," she announced, getting off the bed.

"What?" Kurt asked, sounding shell-shocked.

"You heard me. It's all junk. I'll take the stuffed animal. Jean's had this since she was six. Everything else, just toss it out; I don't need it." Kurt looked downcast at the rejection of his help.

"But there are a lot of memories here," Finn argued. Perhaps it wasn't the best idea to argue with someone who's grieving, but Coach Sylvester was being dumb.

"You know, I'm not short on memories of my sister, so..." Miss Sylvester sounded snappy and almost-fazed.

"I know what it's like to lose someone," Kurt said carefully. "When someone dies, it hurts."

"Very astute, Porcelain." Miss Sylvester wasn't being very nice to people who were only trying to help. "That's a little nugget of wisdom I'd really like to jot down."

"Coach Sylvester, we're just trying to help," Finn cut in quickly.

"You know what, Cottage Cheese? You're not helping. You're actually making things worse. So do me a favor and take all this stuff to the dumpster on your way to the rehearsal for whatever treacly ballad you're planning on using to ruin my sister's funeral."

"Why did you agree to this, then?" Kurt called after her, obviously annoyed, and probably hurt. "I-If you hate us so much, then why are you letting the Glee Club plan the service?"

"I was afraid no one would come." Miss Sylvester's quiet statement floored both boys. "Jean didn't know a lot of people. I figured, with the Glee Club there, at least she'd have a full house." Miss Sylvester walked out, leaving both boys to their thoughts.

Kurt snatched the copy of _Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory_ out of Finn's hands to stare at it, tossing the Cheerio pom-pom onto the trash bag. "_Oompa-loompa doompa-dee-doo. I have another puzzle for you_," Kurt sang-spoke quietly. "We can make this funeral amazing for Jean, and prove Miss Sylvester wrong all at once. I have an idea."

"Please say there's not a puzzle involved."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: This chapter's a little short, but considering I'm updating so fast, I really don't think you guys have anything to complain about. I... don't think I have anything to mention down here either. I wonder what percent of my author's notes are made up of apologies...?**

**Songs used: 0. Wow.  
>Songs mentioned: <strong>_'Finally Free'_ by Johnny Pacar & Josie Loren; seen on Make It or Break It. The lyrics will be in some other chapter.  
>Umm... I guess it's the Oompa-loompa song from<em> Will Wonka and the Chocolate Factory<em>. Everyone knows that song.

**Reviews are Love.**


	12. Lonely Love Song

"Willy Wonka!" Kurt announced, neatly printing the words on the choir room whiteboard as he spoke and then feeling ridiculous as he realized how much he must resemble Mr. Schuester by doing so. "This movie, a personal favorite of my own which was shared by the late Miss Sylvester, is now going to be our theme for the funeral."

"Theme? Since when do funerals have a theme?" Tina asked, her boyfriend nodding along in his whipped agreement as usual.

"Since I said so," Kurt said confidently. "Coach Sylvester seems to be under the impression that we are going to destroy the memory of her sister through this funeral, and it needs to be our mission to prove her wrong."

"Yeah, she even called our song... what did she call our song?" Finn asked, leaning against the piano as Kurt ran the show. Oh Finn. Stop helping.

"A 'treacly ballad,' even though she doesn't yet know what we have planned." Kurt capped the marker and turned to face his audience, prepared for the criticism of his idea.

"Kurt, I hate to rain on your parade," actually, Rachel _loved_ to rain on his parade, "but the funeral is in two days. There is no way we can completely re-plan a ceremony in two days!"

"Who said anything about completely re-planning? All that needs to be done is an edit of the decorations, and an additional song. Finn and I took the liberty of finding pictures of Jean and Coach Sylvester together, some from Jean's stuff and some from the home itself. We plan to display this picture montage in accompaniment to a performance of _Pure Imagination_." Kurt's plan earned excited looks this time.

"I call lead vocals!" Rachel said immediately, that familiar spark of selfishness and determination in her eyes as she dreamed of singing her solo, practically bouncing in her chair in the front row.

"Well, uh, we actually had kinda picked people already." Kurt rolled his eyes. Finn wouldn't be that patient with anyone but Rachel, not even Quinn. Honestly, the whole world sees it... except, of course, for Finn.

"Finn and I, as the funeral's main coordinators, would be two of the lead vocalists, and we were hoping Tina and Artie would accompany us." Kurt looked hopefully towards his one-time best friend, knowing that she wasn't entirely for the idea of helping Coach Sylvester but hoping her kind spirit would shine through for Jean. Naturally, Artie would help. Artie was sometimes too kind for his own good.

"I would be happy to help." In reality, Tina had probably caved to Kurt's unbeatable puppy-dog eyes.

"Here is the sheet music for you two, your parts are highlighted." Sometimes, Kurt could _vaguely_ see the connection some people made between his personality and Rachel's. Vaguely.

"You can't cut _Finally Free_, though," Quinn argued, probably just upset that Finn had abdicated his permanent seat next to her. "You and Noah sounded amazing when you rehearsed that, and the message is absolutely perfect."

"It doesn't fit with the theme." Also, Kurt could avoid singing with the boy he'd been trying to avoid. Really, it mainly didn't fit with the theme.

"I agree with Quinn," Rachel piped up, and since when had they ever been on the same side? "_Finally Free_ may not fit perfectly with the theme, but it conveys the general tone you're trying to get across. The song portrays a happy departure into the afterlife following a fulfilled life."

"You two sounded really cool, dude."

This time Kurt did actually hiss to him, "Finn, stop helping." Honestly, he was running this show. His cast couldn't outvote him.

"However, I believe that if we are to do both, someone else should have either Kurt's solo in _Pure Imagination_, or Kurt's solo in _Finally Free_. It's simply unfair for Kurt to have the majority of solos." Someday, Rachel would learn to shut her mouth and sit the hell down when she was supposed to, instead of popping up like an overly-energized jack-in-the-box. Judging by Santana's expression, it could be that day.

"You really want to talk about fair solos, Berry? Do you really want to go there? All last year, all I hear is your screechy whining and the sound of Quinn's stretch marks rubbing together!" Way to recycle a jibe, Satan. "I would rather hear Kurt's unnatural, prepubescent squeaking than one more note out of your obnoxious, overly-large, and malformed trap, y'hear?" Rachel's eyes widened dramatically as Santana advanced on her, quickly sitting at the piano bench and nodding her head in acquiescence.

"We are doing _Pure Imagination_ only. That's final," Kurt announced, knowing that his words would actually do no use. If there was a trait that everyone in the Glee club had in common, it was stubbornness.

"Princess, afraid that you might jump me if you have to look in my eyes and croon me a soft song?" Puck spoke up for the first time, his signature smirk twisting around the edges of his mouth. GaGa, he thought he was _so_ hot.

"Maybe jump you with one of Santana's razor blades," Kurt snapped back, willing his pride to stay subdued behind his logic.

"Maybe you secretly think that Berry would do a better job and are withdrawing to save yourself the humiliation." Puck's smirk just widened, and Rachel looked thrilled by the suggestion. Thankfully, the diva was silenced by another look from Santana.

"I think you've caused me enough humiliation for a lifetime, thank you." That was a low blow, Kurt knew it and Puck's face showed it. Apparently, he was completely incapable of holding his tongue when his voice was insulted. Good to know.

"Dude, line," Finn whispered from behind him, clearly heard through the silence. Kurt's eyes didn't leave Puck's impossibly hazel ones for a moment, ignoring the looks Santana was now throwing at Finn, Rachel, and his fabulous self. Rachel was boring a hole in his back with her eyes, and Quinn was boring a hole in his head with hers.

"_Like a shooting star across the sky, you kissed the clouds and softly sighed 'good night,'"_ Puck crooned softly, his voice lower than the song required, a challenge that Kurt would leave unanswered.

"If you are all so insistent that _Finally Free_ is performed, we could always add it in before _Pure Imagination_. However, song issues aside, we need to do some serious redecorating." Kurt allowed a smirk of his own to cross his face, ignoring the fact that Puck was still looking at him with an inscrutable stare.

* * *

><p>"No, no, no, no, no!" Kurt ranted, hanging his head in his hands, frustrated. He had an amazing and unique voice, but the simple chords of <em>Pure Imagination<em> were thwarting him due to his distraction. The idiots were upstairs blowing up zombies, and, as annoying as the sounds were, Kurt didn't dare go chastise them. Puck was up there, and somehow, whenever they spoke they ended up arguing... or something of the like. Honestly, Kurt wasn't quite sure what it was.

"Kurt, you okay?" he heard Finn call out. How could they possibly hear him over their game? Actually, considering the volume at which they are playing and their proximity, how could they possibly hear at all? Kurt was certain he would have been deafened by now. No wonder Finn doesn't seem to mind how loud Rachel sings.

"Fine!" he called back down, not wanting to worry Finn but not wanting to engage in any conversation.

"Princess, need a big, strong man to come protect you?" Puck called up the stairs, clearly mocking him, and sending him into a fit of anger. Honestly, the least Puck could do is respect him. It's _his_ house.

Storming down the stairs despite the protests from the rational part of his brain, Kurt started on his rant, knowing that they could hear him. "Despite what you seem to think, I have absolutely no need for your protection or your near-constant presence and sarcastic comments in my life. As a matter of fact, I think it would... be best..."

Holy hell. Damn him for being so freakin' muscular. Who played video games without a shirt on? Puck apparently, and Kurt completely lost his train of thought at the sight of Puck's abs. He was sure Puck was smirking, but the countertenor honestly didn't have enough brainpower to continue his sentence. If he didn't look away soon, the next thing out of his mouth would be 'can I lick your abs?' and he wasn't sure which response would be worse.

"See something you like, Princess?" Kurt could hear the smirk in his voice, finally managing to tear his eyes away from Puck's unfairly chiseled abdomen and direct the rebel things to the jock's eyes.

"You wish," Kurt responded smoothly, but he knew he must be the color of a tomato. Damn his uncontrollable blushes. Failing to remember what he had come down the stairs, Kurt quickly breezed past the boys on the couch to the kitchen. Pulling in some deep breaths to control... an inappropriate autonomic response, he pulled a water out of the fridge and downed it, careful not to chug.

"What's up your ass, anyway?" Kurt coughed water all over the floor as Puck snuck up on him, still not wearing a shirt. Honestly, that much muscle should not be able to move that quietly.

"Absolutely nothing, thanks for asking." Kurt tried to act nonchalant, but it was rather hard to do while recovering from a mild session of choking.

"Clearly something is... or you want something to be," Puck said with a sly wink. "Even Satan was mad at you for being a bitch today." Kurt glared at the jock, careful to keep his eyes above the clavicles.

"Santana just didn't like that I had control of the room. She thinks she's _head_ bitch, when we all know she's really just an average bitch determined to ruin everyone else's life as a reflection of how miserable hers is." Kurt placed his water bottle beside the sink for recycling, mentally tensing as he waited for Puck's answer.

"What did Rachel do?" Kurt almost laughed aloud at Puck's guess. Of course, everyone would assume that Rachel had offended him.

"Opened my eyes and made me realize some things about myself that I wouldn't have without her help. Other than that, absolutely nothing, besides rehash bad memories." Rachel's idea of tact was... remarkably tactless.

"Blaine?" Puck asked in that same silky, flirty tone he always used, but Kurt could detect a hint of anger in his voice and had to suppress a smile. In some ways, it was sweet how Puck was so protective of him. In others, it reminded him too much of his nonsensical and clearly delusional dream.

"Thank you for bringing him up." For heaven's sake, people! They had broken up three weeks ago, didn't anyone have enough class to shut up about him for at least another week? Instead, Kurt had constantly been reminded of Blaine during the standard bad-break-up-healing month by both his friends and his own mutinous conscience.

"You need to get over that asshole. He was a creep, and he didn't deserve you anyway." Puck's tone quieted a little at the end, and Kurt turned to look at the jock where he was perched on the counter (despite Kurt's various warning to all male inhabitants of the house that this practice would not be tolerated, it was quite common), surprised by his reply.

"Blaine... he deserves the world. Trust me, he's a good guy, I knew him better than you do. You've only heard the bad side. He deserves everything. We just weren't right for each other," Kurt replied simply, wishing for all the world that he had seen that before they had broken up. He and Blaine had seemed the perfect, blissful couple until the very end. That alone should have been a warning bell.

"You told me why you loved him a while ago." Kurt thought back to that conversation, the first time he had truly realized that Puck was actually a person with honest, complex feelings. Even when he had sang _Beth_, Kurt had thought it was a hoax to get into Quinn's pants, and he felt incredibly bad about that assumption now. You know what they say about assuming. "Sounded to me like you needed someone to actually give a shit about you for one. Like you needed to be someone's number one, and Blaine was the perfect fit for that role."

"He was. Once again, thanks for bringing it up."

"What I'm saying is I don't think you loved him." Kurt stared up at the taller boy in shock, resisting the urge to slap him. "Don't get me wrong, some major feelings were obviously there, but you said like three actual traits about him. The rest was either best friendish or how he made you feel about yourself. Looks like you really do want to be somebody's princess, Princess."

"Do you have any idea how tempting it is to slap you right now?" Kurt asked, closing his eyes and mentally counting. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10. Nope, he still wanted to slap him.

"Know yourself out. Hit me, baby!" Puck's smirk was the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes and the desire to hit him increased.

"Don't call me 'baby,' Neanderthal. I don't care whether you believe me or not. I loved Blaine, and I'm not going to argue with you about it." Puck's smirk just widened.

"'Loved.' Past tense. As in, get the fuck over it." _Smack!_ The sound reverberated through the air, wiping the smirk clean off of Puck's face.

"You asked for it," Kurt huffed, storming out of the kitchen.

* * *

><p>"Do you really have to do that?" Finn asked after about the tenth time Puck had gone up to bother an obviously mad Kurt. All the other guys had left by now, and Puck knew he was more than welcome to stay the night, even if Finn would never come right out and say it.<p>

"Relax, your little bro loves me," Puck proclaimed, tossing himself over the back of the couch, throwing it off balance and almost sending both of them to the floor.

"He'd probably like you a little more if you stopped tormenting him. He actually has feelings and shit you know, and Blaine really upset him. Bringing it up is not going to help his mood." Puck rolled his eyes at his best friend. Like Finn knew half as much about Blaine and Kurt as Puck did. Who did Kurt talk to about this stuff? Him. Why? Because Finn would vomit if Kurt told him half the things he'd told Puck.

"He just needs to get over him. Everyone deals with heartbreak, except the Puckasauras." Puck kissed his guns for emphasis. No, he still wasn't wearing a shirt. Why? Because it seemed to bother and distract Kurt, which was exactly the goal of his life.

"What about Quinn?" Finn asked quietly, and the room turned heavy.

"Quinn's the exception, but she's my sister now, and she always will be." Q was the sweetest, most gorgeous girl he had ever met, but Puck could never think of her in _that way_ after watching her push something the size of a watermelon out a tiny hole.

"So, who do you like now? Or want to bang?" They usually meant the same thing to Puck, but this time was different. Not, of course, that he would tell Finn this.

"Shiera Conners. Biggest real tits in the school. Total prude, but definitely worth the time. Virgins are fuckin' spectacular." Well, to be fair, Shiera was totally bang-able. Too bad his fucking head apparently couldn't tell the difference between pussy and ass.

"Uh, good to know?" Finn asked, and Puck just elbowed him and proceeded to kill the other boys character. God, he loved Halo.

* * *

><p>Okay, so Puck wasn't eavesdropping. He swore. He just happened to have dropped a nickel between two rows in the back of the auditorium. The facts that he had come to look for this nickel during a conversation between Kurt and Rachel and that neither of the divas could see him, well, that was just a coincidence. He was totally in plain sight, just looking for his change.<p>

"I don't know what you want from me, Rachel! I have decorations to plan." Kurt sounded annoyed, but most people did when they were talking to Rachel.

"If you actually are considering going through with this crazy plan-" Once Puck heard Rachel draw in a big breath, he knew there would be trouble. Too bad he really needed that nickel.

"What crazy plan?" Kurt cut her off, but she ignored him.

"-then you need to take the appropriate steps. Step one, wait until after the funeral-" Puck rolled his eyes. Oh, Rachel.

"What am I, some sort of sick pervert? I still don't know what you're talking about." Rachel seemed determined to ignore the countertenor.

"-step two, get over Blaine-"

"Easier said than done, psycho." Kurt's voice was now vaguely entertained. Rachel could have that effect on very patient people.

"-step three, become comfortable with... the reason you broke up with Blaine-"

"Okay, crazy, I'm going to stop you right here. From your insanity, which I find more and more obnoxious each day, I'm pretty sure I have determined what 'crazy plan' you're talking about, and have no notion to pursue it." Puck heard Rachel huff, but he couldn't tell if it was a disappointed huff or a satisfied huff. Where could that damn nickel possibly be?

"I still think you should follow step two." Puck would have piped up his agreement, but at this point the two divas would castrate him if they knew he was here. Anyway, what is this 'crazy plan' of which they spoke?

"You act like I haven't been trying to," Kurt said, and Puck could tell he was frustrated by his tone.

"That's why I brought you here!" Once again, Rachel acted as though Kurt hadn't spoken. "Singing is the best way to get out all of your emotions. I would suggest _I Will Survive_, but that's just me. At any rate, I will leave you alone, because I'm starting to get a faint vibe that you are annoyed with me." Puck couldn't help but let out a small snort, and the auditorium was silent for a few, tense moments.

"Out, Rachel," was all Kurt said, and Puck had a feeling that if he moved one (very impressive) muscle, Kurt would find him.

"Goodbye love," Rachel said dramatically, sing-songing the words over and over again as she skipped (yes, Puck could tell that she was skipping by the sounds. He had a little sister!) out of the auditorium.

Since Puck was still unable to locate his nickel, he waited as Kurt took some deep breaths up on the stage and sat down... somewhere (wow, was he a quiet mover). Puck had his answer as to where (the piano) when an unfamiliar melody rang out, not loudly, but not quietly either, and rather up-tempo, considering what he was supposed to be singing about.

_I hear that song and I could still picture us  
>Not sure where we went wrong<br>Maybe love isn't always enough_

_I'm missing you, that's all I know  
>Are we better off this way?<br>I'm listening to the radio and I see your face_

_What's a lonely love song?  
>Something sad, but true<br>Words and melodies that keep reminding me of you  
>What's a lonely love song?<br>It's just a long goodbye  
>Voices on the radio make me wonder where you are... tonight<em>

_The love was gone  
>I tried to convince myself<br>But I hear that song  
>Oh, and I'm not doing too well<em>

_If I could start all over again  
>I'd never let you go<br>Every time I try to forget  
>It comes on the radio<em>

_What's a lonely love song?  
>Something sad, but true<br>Words and melodies that keep reminding me of you  
>What's a lonely love song?<br>It's just a long goodbye  
>Voices on the radio make me wonder where you are... tonight<em>

_I try to move one, but I don't know how to  
>I try to act strong, it's no use<br>Something's always there to remind me  
>A photograph that takes me back<br>Overcome by all the memories that I still have  
>If we just had a second chance<em>

_What's a lonely love song?  
>Something sad, but true<br>Words and melodies that keep reminding me of you  
>What's a lonely love song?<br>It's just a long goodbye  
>Voices on the radio make me wonder where you are... tonight<em>

"Well, I finally got to sing a song from _Spectacular!_" Kurt commented to himself, and Puck heard a trace of sniffles in his voice. "Too bad St. James would probably consider that inappropriate as I'm 'obviously directing it to a boy', even though the song is gender-neutral." Puck could tell by the lower tone that Kurt tried (and failed) to imitate that he was mocking Jesse. "Of course, Rachel probably wouldn't approve of my song choice. It sounds too much like I want him back as my boyfriend, but I miss my _best friend_." A beat of silence. "Good thing Mercedes isn't here. She'd kill me for calling him that, even if it's true. Is it true?" Another beat. "GaGa, I'm talking to myself!"

Hearing Kurt storm offstage (and possibly start kicking things. He couldn't identify the angry banging noises. The high-pitched growls were obviously Kurt's though), Puck quickly ducked out of the wings. Oh well, he didn't really need that nickel.

* * *

><p>"Quinn, I have a confession to make," Puck whispered into his phone. Why the whispering? Because saying it too loud made it seem too real.<p>

"You're jerking off right now?" To be fair, his comment had kind of been random. That being said, _out of line!_

"No. This person that I'm trying to woo... may or may not have a dick."

"So, Kurt? I certainly hope so. Seriously, if one more person is head over heels for my boyfriend I'll go on a murderous rampage." Puck snorted at the picture his mind conjured of Quinn shooting Rachel's head off.

"Yeah, Kurt." He refused to make his voice louder than a whisper.

"Why do I get the feeling that 'woo' is a little too strong a word for what you want to do to Kurt?" Quinn asked, her sigh coming across the line as a rush of static. Puck thanked several gods, the First Commandment be damned, that Quinn wasn't allowed over at guy's houses (except for Finn's, because it was masquerading as 'Kurt's') so that he didn't have to have this conversation face-to-face.

"Do you think I'm a dumbass or something? There's no way I'm getting into that boy's pants for one night only. One, he's not that kind of guy, unfortunately. B, why would I give up such a great piece of ass?"

"Noah Puckerman!" Quinn sounded honestly ashamed. "I cannot believe you just said it was unfortunate that Kurt wasn't a slut and called him a piece of ass... and, no, I don't care that you added a 'great' onto that last one." Puck groaned, knowing this would be the beginning of a lecture. "Kurt is a person, a delicate one at that, and not a piece of meat. I love you, Noah, but if you were to hurt him, I wouldn't hesitate to hurt you. Also, you just followed the number 'one' by the letter 'B'."

"Quinnilla, relax. The Puckerone has got this under control." Puck totally had a plan to get into Kurt's pants.

"That's what I'm worried about." Quinn hung up before she could even hear his incredibly detailed and well-thought-out plan.

One, let the girls (mostly Rachel) help Kurt get over Blaine. Two, be so irresistibly sexy that Kurt falls head over heels even though he might not want to. Three, wine-and-dine once or twice. Four, rip all those complicated layers right off the sexy boy and pound that sweet virgin ass all night. It was perfect.

* * *

><p>When Kurt checked his phone at the end of the long and tiring day, the tune of <em>Lonely Love Song<em> remaining firmly in his head, he had two messages.

The first, from Rachel: "Dear fellow Glee clubber, I am most excited to propose that after the funeral we go to a Chinese place only two blocks from the venue. My proposition is the perfect way to bond and commiserate, and hardy calories do growing boys good. There are also salads for those of us who are more delicate. My fathers are more than happy to give a ride to three or four people if need be, and the whole event will be paid for as a generous donation from the Berrys.

The next few were linked messages, which is phone forced him to listen to. His phone read 'from Quinn' for the first message, but the voice over the line is Puck. "I think I speak for all the guys, except Princess, when I say 'free food? I'm in.'"

The next from Brittany was: "Your daddies are letting people ride them? I would totally do that. When is that part happening? Oh, and I can't eat Chinese. I'm allergic to chopsticks." Following were a disgusted message from Rachel and an explanatory message from Santana, coupled with a threat towards Rachel.

The second message was from Blaine of all people, the scourge of his thoughts for the entire day. "Uh, hi Kurt. I guess I really shouldn't have called, but, well.. I miss you, Kurt. I know we can never be like that again, but it near broke my heart when you said we couldn't be friends. You have to understand how much I regret what I said that night. I know I was completely unfair to you and, well, quite an asshole. My father had been on my case earlier and I just snapped from pressure. I had been, uh, to tell the truth, rather, well, um, hard-up before, and I kind of just needed a stress release. I know I never should have done that to you and I'm so sorry. You deserve much better than me, whoever you choose, I mean, and I get that now. But I'm really sorry for what happened between us. I miss you, the best friend I ever had, Kurt Elizabeth Hummel." Kurt could hear the smile in the last three words of Blaine's message.

Great. Just what he needed.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: A short chapter, but the next one is the lengthy funeral and Chinese restaurant trip. That was supposed to be this chapter, but I kind of left out a bit of setting up that I had to do, and I decided to make it a little more interesting.**

**Song used: **_'Lonely Love Song'_ from _Spectacular!_**  
>Songs mentioned<strong>:_  
>Finally Free<em> from Make It or Break It_  
>Pure Imagination<em> from _Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory_  
>The little sing-song thing Rachel was doing in one scene was from <em>Goodbye Love<em> from _RENT_.

**Reviews are Love.**


	13. Finally Free

**A/N: I hope my version of the funeral lives up to your guys' expectations. I worked really hard on this one, but I have to apologize for the wait. I got so caught up in writing other stories that I almost forgot this one existed. Also, my Internet decided to die. Again. I swear, I'm the world's only technology-repellent computer programmer.**

**Puck singing, or Finn singing**_  
>Kurt singing<strong><br>Puck + Kurt singing, or Tina singing**_  
>Artie singing<em><strong><br>All the New Directions singing**_

* * *

><p>Silence. That was all that could be heard in the Hudmel household the morning of Jean Sylvester's funeral. Carole was at work, because her boss apparently didn't care if it was a Saturday and her children were attending, coordinating, and performing at a funeral. Burt had bills and papers spread across the table, and was reviewing them with a stony expression.<p>

The teenagers of the house were sitting side by side on the couch, eating breakfast. Kurt swirled his spoon in his low-fat yogurt, wondering what was going to happen in the course of the day. Finn munched on his cold pizza, probably wondering if there would be a good hockey game on later.

The funeral was set for ten thirty in the morning, and Kurt glanced at the clock every few seconds, knowing rationally that no matter how many times he checked it, time would not move faster, but not caring.

The venue was perfect, the decorations flawless and touching. A short and simple ceremony, with only a speech from Coach Sylvester and their performance. Kurt nibbled on his upper lip, a bad habit that he couldn't stop, as he thought through their performance. _Pure Imagination_ would be perfect, but _Finally Free_ worried him. Working with _Puck_ worried him.

The mohawked jock had been acting rather strangely recently, and Kurt couldn't figure him out. On one hand, he had been sweet, nice, and all those other things Kurt knew he was capable of, but didn't really expect from him. On the other, he had been exactly the person he was before sometimes.

What had Rachel said to him a while ago? 'You could love him.' Technically, he could love anyone, and only the emotion of the moment had prevented him from telling Rachel that. Sometimes, though, Kurt felt like he really could, and that scared him more than anything.

Was Puck attractive? Yes, he was extremely hot. Everyone with eyes knew that.

Did he have a crush on Puck? Maybe.

Was he in love with mohawked Casablanca? Not a chance.

He had been defensive with Rachel earlier, calling his feelings 'mild attraction' and 'Stockholm Syndrome,' but there was more to it than that (also, the 'Stockholm Syndrome' thing was pretty cruel. Puck had never done anything to make Kurt fear him like he feared Karofsky, even now). Somehow, some way, Puck had become important to him, _special_ to him. Not just with his protectiveness (and his punching-Blaine-in-the-nose scheme, which Kurt wasn't too mad about, no matter how he had acted before), but with the snorts he made at Kurt's sarcastic and vitriolic comments, and the way he claimed ownership on Kurt's natural aptitude for Halo. The way he drove Kurt insane by asking him too many questions that were too personal, but had never yet steered him wrong when he offered advice.

Yet, some things about Puck drove Kurt crazy, in the bad way that is. His overconfidence. That effing mohawk. The way he didn't know when to stop, when to back off. The way he had treated girls (and women, but Kurt tried not to think about that) in the past.

Somehow, making a pros and cons chart just seemed too detached, but that was really what Kurt needed. He didn't know what to think, and trying to discover the secrets of his life in his yogurt cup wasn't exactly successful.

Sighing, he got up to toss the yogurt away, mostly uneaten. He didn't have much more to do, the venue already decorated, the programs already printed, and his fabulous-yet-funeral-appropriate outfit already chosen. In fact, he had _nothing_ more to do than sit and wait, and it was driving him crazy.

Because some force in the world wished to entertain him, there was a knock on the door. Kurt crossed over to it, smiling at his dad as he passed the table, and opened it to reveal... Puck. Of course.

"Hey," he said quietly, giving Kurt his typical greeting head-nod, dressed somberly in a gray button-down shirt and black slacks. "Can I come in? I'm tired of sitting at home."

Kurt didn't reply except to open the door wider and step out of the door frame, headed back to his seat next to Finn on the couch. Puck took the other side, and the three sat together in silence for a moment.

"This stinks," Puck said, eloquent as ever, and Kurt tried a smile.

"Yeah," Finn answered. "Does anyone know what Miss Sylvester's going to say?"

"I'm pretty sure that she'll be a bit more sensitive in writing her sister's eulogy than she is on a normal day," Kurt replied. In all honesty, he wasn't even sure Miss Sylvester would be able to make it all the way through her speech. No one who had spoken at his mom's funeral had.

"Eulogy?" Finn asked, and Puck rolled his eyes, leaning back against the couch.

"A speech in honor of someone deceased," Kurt answered, not bothered in the least by simplifying his sentences anymore.

"Oh. Did you have to do one for your mom?" Finn asked, clearly too drowsy to think his words all the way through.

"Yes," Kurt whispered, swallowing against the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat.

"Dude, when are you going to learn not to ask shit like that?" Puck asked, seeming annoyed.

"Huh?" Finn asked, confused, and Kurt rolled his eyes.

"I'm going to go get ready." The funeral wasn't for another two and a half hours, but Kurt knew he could use the time.

Finn waited until Kurt was up the stairs and he heard Kurt's door shut before he asked one of the many questions that had been bothering him all morning. "What's up with you and Kurt?"

"Don't know what you mean, dude," Puck replied, getting off the couch. If he had been anyone else, Finn would have offered to get him food, but Puck was perfectly comfortable cleaning out the refrigerator with no invitation.

"Really? 'Cause you call him 'Princess' and demand to sing duets with him, and he asks about you." Puck didn't know about that last one, but it seemed like a gigantic red flag to Finn.

"He does?" Puck's tone to anyone else would have sounded hopeful, but Finn knew it was fake.

"Yeah. 'Bout Quinn and stuff."

"So, your little bro has a little crush on me. Big deal." Puck rolled his eyes, pulling some cold bacon out of the refrigerator from their breakfast the day before and scoffing it down. "I know. I'm a bad Jew. Sue me."

"Whatever, dude, I don't care. But be careful with Kurt, all right? Don't encourage him or anything. I mean, saying 'no' is kinda pointless, but don't make it worse." Puck rolled his eyes again, finishing the last of the bacon.

"Y'know what? You're an asshole. Kurt knows what 'no' means." Finn looked kind of dumbfounded (which was pretty normal), and Puck went back to the fridge, finding snicker doodles hidden in the back and starting on those.

"Whatever," Finn said again, grabbing one of the snicker doodles out of Puck's hands. "Just don't upset him, all right?"

"You're one to talk, Frankenteen," Puck retorted, but Finn was rather used to little jibes like this from his friend and didn't reply.

Instead, he said, "Kurt's more vulnerable than he lets on," prompting another eye roll from Puck.

"You don't think I know that? Who got to see him sob over that asshole?" Everyone knew 'that asshole' meant Blaine. It was what everyone called him at this point. "Who was there for him after Prom, after _someone_ got kicked out?" Finn pulled a confused face.

"I... Wanna play Halo?" Apparently, having this conversation was too much thinking for Finn.

* * *

><p>Kurt had pretty much been everyone's slave driver for the morning. After he had literally torn several brooches off of Rachel's outfit, he had went through the line, fixing guys' hair with no respect for their personal space and telling everyone where they were sitting.<p>

After he'd edited the Glee Club he went into the back and brought back a tiny, old-fashioned TV on a stand, ordering the people who worked at the funeral party to plug it in. He whipped a tape out of nowhere and slotted it in, not showing anyone what was on it. Finn probably knew, but his best friend didn't seem uber happy with him at the moment.

"We will be performing _Finally Free_ first, and end with _Pure Imagination_. Sue's eulogy will be before our performance, as well as a short introduction from Father Andrew," Kurt informed them as he worked in his little whirlwind. After he had placed everyone in their performance places and then ordered them to practice going from their seats to their places at least ten times, he looked about ready to tear his hair out and threatened to put labeled tape Xs on the floor.

The Glee Club were all sitting in their seats, chattering quietly as people started to come in. Puck was just one seat away from Kurt, separated by a quiet and very confused-looking Brittany who Kurt appeared to be consoling. Artie was wheeled up at the far end of their row. Tina and Mike were sitting at the end closest to the aisle. Santana and Mercedes had been marooned across the aisle in the second row back, with Rachel, Sam, Quinn, Finn sitting in front of them from farthest to closest. Two empty spaces were next to Finn: reserved for Mr. Schue and Coach Sylvester.

It didn't take very long until the house was full, but the guest of honor was missing: Coach Sylvester. Kurt had ordered Mr. Schue into the waiting room to watch for her (and the teacher didn't even try to argue that he was the adult. Kurt was clearly their director for the day), and he was biting his lip from worry as he waited. Sometime during the wait Kurt had ordered the ban to play _Pure Imagination_ instrumentally.

Kurt's head whipped around every time the door opened, and the last time it happened he breathed a sigh of relief, prompting everyone to look over as Mr. Schue and Miss Sylvester walked down the aisle. Kurt and Finn, on opposite sides of the aisle, both stood. Puck was amazed Finn managed to get away from Quinn's death grip on his hand.

"What do you think, Coach Sylvester?" Finn asked, looking back at their decorations. Kurt was playing with his fingernails without looking down, a nervous habit of his.

"You told us that _Willy Wonka_ was Jean's favorite movie," Kurt added helpfully, as if it wasn't obvious from all the bright colors, mushrooms, lollipops, flowers, and chocolate fountain that the movie was the theme.

"The way you described Jean made her sound so special, so... we wanted her funeral to be special a-also." Well, they'd certainly achieved that. Puck had never been to a funeral, but this one definitely didn't look like the ones he saw on TV.

"Something to capture and express the joy of her life rather than the sadness of her death." Kurt still sounded nervous.

"It's lovely." The Glee Club exchanged shocked expressions at Miss Sylvester's praise. They didn't even think the fearsome coach had the _ability_ to praise.

"Let's sit," Mr. Schue said. The... funeral-goers (Puck wasn't sure if there was a proper term for them. Audience just seemed messed up) were probably getting pretty impatient. Everyone had been waiting for the coach.

Once the four had sat, the band played for a few more moments before the priest began. "Welcome to the most _unusual _funeral that I have ever attended. Which makes sense, because Jean was the most unusual person that I ever had the pleasure to spend every Sunday for the last thirty years with. I think that Jean's sister Sue would like to say a few words.

Miss Sylvester took a shaky breath, looking around at the decorations as she unfolded her speech. "I miss my sister." Miss Sylvester already looked close to crying. "Every night, at ten.. or so, she used to call me on the phone, and when I asked her why..." Miss Sylvester paused, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. "She'd tell me tat her body told her..." the first sob slipped out, and everyone knew she wouldn't make it through the speech. "She wanted to hear my voice." Miss Sylvester broke down, right there at the podium.

Everyone gave Mr. Schue a look as he got up, but he headed for the podium anyway. Muttering something to Miss Sylvester that Puck didn't catch, Mr. Schue cleared his throat and started the coach's speech. "I miss my sister, the smell of her shampoo, the way she could always convince me to read her another book. When you love someone like I loved her, they're a part of you. It's like you're attached by this invisible tether, and no matter how far away you are, you can always feel them. And now, every time I reach for that tether, I know there's no one on the other end, and I feel like I'm falling into nothingness. Then I remember Jean." Miss Sylvester had taken off her glasses and was breathing heavily, obviously holding in more sobs, as Mr. Schue read her speech. "I remember a life led with no enemies, no resentments, no regrets, and I'm inspired to get up out of bed and go on. I miss my sister so much. It feels like a piece of me has been ripped off. Just one more time I want to hold her. Ten more seconds, is that too much to ask? For ten more seconds to hold her?" Now Mr. Schue was starting to cry, and his voice was breaking. He wrapped an arm around Coach Sylvester. "But I can't, and I won't, and the only thing keeping me from being swallowed whole by sadness is that Jean would kill me if I did. So for now, I'm just gonna miss her. I love you, Jeanie. Rest in peace."

Even Puck was starting to feel a little teary (but badassses don't cry), by the end of Miss Sylvester/Mr. Schue's speech. Rachel looked near tears, Quinn was actually crying. Kurt was looking up at the podium with eyes far too bright.

Everyone got up in that moment, the girls wiping away a few tears, and Kurt spoke up. "The first song we wanted to sing for Jean, but also for Coach Sylvester. This song is about letting go, even though it hurts, because you know your loved one is in a better place. Jean Sylvester lived a wonderful life, and she's better off now." Kurt voice was thick with tears, but didn't crack. Puck could feel the pressure of expectations as he slung his guitar (handily waiting in the wings as per Kurt's instruction) over his chest and began to play. Puck looked over at Kurt, who was admittedly a pretty crier, and knew this time the song would be touching, that they could put aside the tension between them that had shown through last time they sang together to give Jean a beautiful goodbye.

**Like a shooting star across the sky,  
>you kissed the clouds and softly sighed,<br>"good night."**

_So I stare into the galaxy,  
>and trace the path that used to be,<br>used to be your light._

_**I try to make the seconds last,  
>pretend the moment hasn't passed,<br>but wishing on a fallen star  
>won't change the truth of where you are<strong>_.

_**Still, I miss you and I wish you,  
>everything the heaven's hold.<br>I pray with all my might.**_

_**Still, I miss you and I wish you,  
>everything the heaven's hold,<br>and when you go to sleep tonight.**  
>Your soul is.. is finally free.<br>Finally free!**  
>Finally...<strong>_ **free**_._

_Still, I miss you, and I wish you_...**  
>Finally free...<strong>_  
>everything the heavens hold,<br>I pray with all my might._**  
>Finally free...<strong>_  
><em>

_Still, I miss you, and I wish you_...**  
>Finally free...<strong>_  
>everything the heavens hold,<strong><br>and when you go to sleep tonight  
>your soul is<strong>_ _**finally free**_.

Kurt's tears (along with those of most of the audience) began as their voice overlapped and combined for the final few choruses. Quinn had her face hidden in Finn's chest as his arm wrapped around her waist. Tina and Rachel hugged each other as both of them cried. Brittany was rebuffed by Zizes, so she wiped her own tears away. Santana was looking up at the ceiling, stoically trying not to cry. Kurt brushed away his own tears and turned away from where the two of them had been sitting on stools left there for them. As Sam and Mike took away the stools, Kurt rearranged the New Directions with casual little hand motions.

Once everyone was arranged satisfactorily, Sam and Mike clicked on the old-fashioned TV, and Finn gave the simple intro, "This was Jean's favorite song." The xylophone started up.

_**Hold your breath.  
>Make a wish.<br>Count to three.**_

_Come with me,  
>and we'll be<br>in a world of pure imagination._

**Take a look,  
>and you'll see<br>into your imagination.**

Puck could see at this point that one, almost every chick in the place was crying their eyes out, and two, that the mysterious video Kurt had put in the TV was a photo montage of Jean, most of which were with Miss Sylvester.

_**We'll begin  
>with a spin<br>traveling in the world of my creation.**_

What we'll see  
>will defy<br>explanation.

_**If you want to view paradise,  
>simply look around and view it.<br>Anything you want to, do it,  
>want to change the world,<strong>  
>there's nothing to it.<em>

Puck resisted the urge to raise his eyebrows (it kind of ruined the dramatic effect) when he saw Coach Sylvester the Heartless grab Mr. Schuester's hand.

_**There is no  
>life I know<br>to compare with pure imagination.**_

_Living there  
>you'll be free<br>if you truly**  
>wish to be.<strong>_

"Thank you," Miss Sylvester mouthed, but it seemed to be directed right at Kurt, as it should be. The porcelain boy was near tears, bags under his eyes, which were a stormy mixture of blue and gray. He cracked a smile though, glad Miss Sylvester was happy.

* * *

><p>The atmosphere as the Glee Club disbanded was... different, and Puck could guess exactly why. He'd been thinking the same thing everyone else was during the speech, the same thing they are now as they watch the workmen clean up and trash Kurt's wonderful decorations. One of the lollipops (the purple one) had been saved for Brittany, and Kurt also took one with a glare when Zizes had laughed at Brittany.<p>

Everyone was thinking, of course, about who they were tethered to. Puck was pretty sure he could guess in everyone's cases.

Himself: obvious. Quinn, his baby mama and sister-type. Finn, his best friend since birth. Santana Lopez, his once-lover who was one of his closest friends, even outside the bedroom.

Rachel: Finn. Duh. Everyone could see she was head-over-heels for him still. Kurt and Mercedes, her two best friends, one of whom shared her love of New York.

Artie: Tina, his first love. Brittany, who he had learned to really understand, and who had his virginity. Sam, because they were freakily alike.

Mike was bound to Tina.

Tina: Kurt and Mercedes, her once-best-friends. Mike, her true love (possibly). Artie, her first love. Brittany, her dance partner and friend.

Sam: Artie, his best friend. Quinn, his first love. Mercedes, because he had such a crush on her.

Finn: Rachel, his true love (definitely). Quinn, his first love. Kurt, his little brother. Puck himself, his best friend since birth. Santana, who had his virginity.

Mercedes: Kurt, Tina, and Quinn, her best friends. Sam, because they were _so_ secretly dating.

Santana: Brittany, her first and only love. Himself, her best friend. Quinn, her once best friend.

Brittany: Santana, who she loved. Artie, who she _had_ loved. Quinn, her once best friend.

Quinn: Finn, her first love. Himself, her baby daddy and brother-type. Santana and Brittany, her fellow members of the unholy trinity. Sam, someone she had loved. Kurt, Mercedes, and Tina, who had supported her through everything.

Kurt was the mystery to him. Who did Kurt think of like that? Who was really close to one Kurt Hummel, who was standoffish at times and warm at others. Blaine, probably (hopefully not) his first love. Finn, his big brother. Tina, Mercedes, Quinn, were they really that close? Rachel, who loved New York as much as he did? Him?

Tina and Mike were kissing in the corner, oblivious to the world as usual. Finn had already gone out to the car, and Quinn was in the bathroom, along with all the other female patrons fixing their mascara. The other girls had joined in a little group, already having visited the bathroom and/or fixed their makeup, and were chatting quietly, Sam tagging along to stare at Mercedes. Artie seemed to be making up with Brittany. Puck himself was sitting quietly in his funeral seat, observing, and Kurt was sitting a few rows back from him, phone pressed to his ear, but his lips weren't moving. Listening.

Puck stood up, stretching for effect even though no one was paying attention to him, before casually trotting over to sit next to Kurt. Realizing his plot, the countertenor quickly switched his phone to his other ear. They sat in silence for a few seconds before Kurt's mouth twisted and he hung up the phone.

"Who was that?" Puck wasted no time in asking.

"Doesn't matter." Kurt sounded resigned and upset, so Puck decided not to prod. He liked his balls right where they were, thank you.

"The funeral was pretty kickass." Flattery will get you everywhere, he would know.

"Thank you, although I'm not sure that's the appropriate adjective." Puck almost rolled his eyes. Kurt needed to learn to talk like a normal person. You'd think that living with Finn would teach him to simplify his sentences, but no.

"Mrs. Sylvester's speech was pretty awesome, too," Puck commented, subtly poking the conversation into the direction he'd been thinking about earlier.

"I must agree. Jean's idea of a tether is.. thought-provoking, to say the least." Kurt didn't say anything else, frustratingly.

"Makes you think about all the people you're tethered to," Puck said, rather less subtly.

"Yeah." Kurt glanced back at the phone in his hands. Puck mentally cursed it's stubbornly black screen. It better not be Blaine. Kurt needed to get over that asshole, so step two of Puck's plan could commence. Well, more like step three. Puck was already irresistibly sexy.

"You going to the Chinese thing?" Honestly, he thought Rachel's idea was pretty dumb. Who wanted to hang out and have fun after a _funeral_? Like he'd said, though, no guy would ever turn down free food. Plus, he _was_ pretty hungry.

"Yes," was the only response Kurt offered and Puck gritted his teeth. A closed-off Kurt could only be handled with patience.

"That asshole!" Quinn screamed as she stormed back into the funeral parlor, shocking all the inhabitants of the room, and then burst into tears. Immediately, Kurt and the rest of the girls (minus Rachel, who oddly smiled and sneaked around behind Quinn to the doors) rushed to her, hugging her and comforting her as she sobbed out her story.

Well, this wasn't good. So much for a peaceful lunch. With a nod to Quinn, who probably didn't even see him through her mob of consolers, he followed Rachel out. Finn was sitting alone in his truck, no Rachel in sight. Puck rolled his eyes, wishing he had a chance to deal with the _happy_ one, and climbed into the passenger seat.

"So.." Puck said, more of a question than anything and Finn nodded. "When did you decide?" Finn had been fretting over balancing Rachel and Quinn ever since they'd gotten together.

"When Mr. Schue was talking about the tether thing. I don't feel that way with Quinn. I mean, I love her, so I kind of do, but I feel it stronger with Rachel." Puck nodded. Made sense.

"I get that." Puck knew he'd said the wrong thing when Finn looked over, confused. "Like, with Quinn," Puck quickly covered, "I love her, but not like that." Finn took the explanation at face value and nodded.

"Do you think the whole Chinese thing is happening?" Finn asked, and his stomach repeated the question.

"Considering Rachel's throwing it, yeah. I mean, she's gonna be over the moon. Quinn probably won't show up now. She's too upset." Finn nodded again.

"How long do you think it'll be before the girls know?" Finn asked, probably scared for his life _and_ his balls.

"They already do," Puck answered, and Finn swallowed.

"Shit." Puck grinned.

"Good luck, dude. Try not to jump Rachel for at least a week, that's just rude." Feeling that Finn was sufficiently cheered up, Puck hopped out of the truck just as the rest of the party came out of the funeral parlor, Mercedes and Kurt still consoling Quinn as they tucked her into Kurt's Navigator. Rachel smiled again as she got into her dads' car, Sam on her heels, and the rest of the group went to their own cars.

* * *

><p>Everyone arrived at the Chinese place (the Lomaine House) at the same time, which wasn't exactly shocking considering they could have walked there. Taking up a good portion of the mostly-empty parking lot, everyone got out at pretty much the same time, joining up in groups to walk into the restaurant.<p>

Puck had expected Kurt and Mercedes to drive Quinn home, but they were all there, Quinn leading the triangle with her head up and her mascara re-fixed. Kurt and Mercedes were both wearing 'don't mess with my girl' faces, and Puck knew he definitely wasn't the biggest badass in the parking lot at the moment.

Quinn gave Finn a scathing glance as he held the door open for her and Rachel. Ignoring Rachel's presence completely, Quinn informed the surprised and slightly-terrified looking waiter how many people they had.

Sitting was.. interesting. At first, Rachel tried to sit to the right of Quinn, a white flag of sorts, but one cleared-throat from Kurt made the soprano jump out of that seat like it was on fire. Kurt and Mercedes sat on either side of Quinn, and after a emasculating glare from Quinn, Puck took the seat next to Kurt. Tina took the seat next to Mercedes.

Rachel took the seat across from Quinn, Sam taking the seat to her left. Brittany took the seat opposite Puck, forcing an annoyed Santana to sit to Rachel's right. Artie wheeled up next to Brittany, annoying Santana further. Finn sat at the head of the table, between Puck and Artie, exactly the same distance from both Rachel and Quinn, and Mike sat at the opposite end, between Tina and Lauren, who'd taken the only seat left.

"The funeral was very nice, Kurt, Finn, I was very impressed," Rachel broke the silence, and Kurt nodded in thanks, as did Finn. Quinn snorted, probably at the enamored way Rachel had said Finn's name.

"Puck and Kurt's duet was pretty," Brittany said, and the poor girl probably had no idea what kind of tension was around her. "They would make great gay babies."

"Brittany, Puck isn't gay." The cold tone of Santana's words made it sound more like 'Puck better not be gay, or I will kill him.' She was a not-so-small obstacle in Operation Getting Into Kurt's Pants (as he'd now dubbed it. OGIKP for short).

"Unlike you," Quinn said snidely, and World War III began.

"Shut up," Santana snarled. "Hell, being gay would probably turn out better for you, considering you can't keep a boy for more five minutes." Puck snickered. Santana was cruel, but she was kind of funny at the same time.

"The same way you can't keep a boy _clothed_ for more than five minutes," Kurt shot back, obviously in protective mode.

"Maybe I'll teach you a few tricks, since you got dumped for _remaining_ clothed," Santana said angrily, and Kurt recoiled like he'd been slapped.

"You better stop mouthin' off at my boy, bitch, or I will take you to the carpet!" Mercedes yelled back. Puck was kind of wondering how long it would be before the restaurant threw them out, or if they were so desperate for customers that they'd let teenagers rip each other apart in their main dining area as long as they ordered a lot of food.

"Bring it on, I'm from Lima Heights Adjacent!" Santana said smugly, and Puck rolled his eyes. Santana lived in the nice part of town in a large house owned by her doctor father. _He_ was from Lima Heights Adjacent.

"Oh give it up, 'spic, you can't fight for shit." No one gasped at Lauren's use of derogatory term. Apparently, everyone was so far gone in their anger that they were allowing anything to be said.

"Stop the violence!" Brittany yelled out, and Santana didn't respond, but she threw Lauren a glare so fiery that Puck was surprised the two people between them didn't get singed. The now _very_ frightened looking waiter approached their table, and peace remained long enough for the thirteen to order enough food to feed an army of Finn's.

"Can you guys please try to remain peaceful?" Rachel asked, and Puck almost face-palmed. Almost. "We came here to commiserate a death, and to celebrate life, not to pick at each other."

"Maybe we could remain civil if you could keep your sweaty man hands off of my boyfriend," Quinn commented, acting nonchalant but knowing she would get a rise out of Rachel.

"Ex-boyfriend," Finn corrected gently, but both girls ignored him.

"Maybe if you hadn't cheated on him and gotten knocked up by a sleazy man whore, you'd still have him." Rachel tried to bring out the big guns but Quinn brushed the comment off. Puck let the insult towards him slide. He _was_ a man whore, and proud of it.

"You're right, I would, but you'd probably still be seducing him with flirty picnics and airplane cups under the guise of 'rehearsing'. I wasn't exactly the first one of us to cheat." Only the guys seemed surprised at all at the news. The girls already knew.

"Technically, you slept with Noah before I kissed Finn," Rachel argued.

"You didn't know that, though, so you can't use my drunken mistake as an excuse for your completely sober and intentional promiscuity," Quinn argued. Sometimes everyone forgot how smart she was because she acted so much like a bubble-brained cheerleader.

"Would you too stop your fuckin' complaining? You can't even throw around the word promiscuity, you're such prudes!" Santana cut in, probably just looking to insult Quinn some more.

"At least we're not _queers_," Quinn spit out, too in the moment to care about insulting anyone else.

"Quinn Fabray!" Kurt exclaimed. "Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" Kurt looked a little shocked, but not angry. He was probably just trying to bring the three girls down to earth.

"At least I have a mother!" Quinn yelled, and the whole table went silent. It occurred to Quinn only a few seconds too late what she had said. "Kurt, I..."

"Excuse me," Kurt said quietly, getting up from the table and walking away. Mercedes went to get up, but Tina put a hand on her arm. Clearly, the issue of Kurt's mom was something they let Kurt figure out on his own. Well, that wasn't happening on Puck's watch. He understood what it was like to have only one parent.

"Wow, Q, I'm impressed," he said nastily, leaning over Kurt's empty chair, not caring who heard. "What has he ever done to you?" Puck stood up and followed Kurt, ignoring the looks of surprise he could feel on his back and the way Mercedes started bitching out Quinn, the sides people had taken all switching.

* * *

><p>Kurt had headed towards the back of the restaurant, but he wasn't in the bathrooms (no one would want to be in the bathrooms, they smelled worse than the boys' locker rooms at McKinley). Puck headed through the kitchen doors, ignoring the exclamations in Chinese, and out the back, which is where he found Kurt, sitting on the edge of the hill, looking down at the closest thing there was to a Lima proper.<p>

The first sign that something was wrong was the fact that Kurt was sitting in mud. Puck didn't know much about proper clothes care, but he knew that was probably a no-no. Second, Kurt had his knees pulled up to his chest, arms wrapped around them and face buried them.

Puck would have tried to be subtle about approaching him, but the mud stuck and squished loudly, attempting to steal his shoes off his feet, so there was really no hiding himself. Taking a seat next to Kurt and grimacing at the feeling of mud seeping into the back of his pants, Puck put a hand on Kurt's shoulder and waited.

He hadn't been waiting long, only the amount of time it took for Quinn to say something back to Mercedes that he couldn't hear and for Mercedes to answer (he could hear her loud and clear), before Kurt spoke. "Go away." Well, that wasn't a surprise.

"Not a chance, Princess. There are four people in our group that only have one parent. One's being fought over by two crazy girls, another bitching out both of those girls. That leaves me, number three, to come out here and comfort you, number four."

"Why are you doing this?" Kurt asked into his knees, not looking up at Puck.

"Didn't I just-" the rest of Puck's sentence was 'explain that?' but Kurt cut him off.

"Not _this_, this!" Kurt said by way of explanation.

"Well, that was specific." Puck rolled his eyes only because he knew Kurt couldn't see him. He wouldn't dare do so in Kurt's line of sight.

"Being so nice to me, consoling me over Blaine, singing that duet with me, protecting and dancing with me at prom, all of it! I don't understand," Kurt whispered the last part, but Puck could hear him.

"I'm not actually a bad person, you know. Anyone would do the same." Not strictly true, but Kurt needed a little more faith in humanity anyway.

"No one else _has_. There are people in that room that should have done everything you have and more, but they didn't. _You_ did. The person that used to throw me in dumpsters and call me a 'fag' daily." Kurt still didn't look at Puck, but he rested his chin against his knees instead, looking out over the.. 'city'.

"You shouldn't call yourself that." Puck had said it before and he would say it again. He knew what Kurt's reply would be, too.

"You have." Bingo. "I don't understand why you're doing this," Kurt repeated.

"Because.. because I care about you, all right!" Puck said, finally admitting it to Kurt and himself. Yes, he wanted to fuck the shit out of Kurt, but he also felt about Kurt the way he felt about Santana, caring underneath the lust. He stood up and turned away from Kurt, not wanting to look at their shithole town anymore.

"Why?" Kurt asked, and he'd raised his voice too, standing up and facing Puck's back.

"Because I do!" Kurt huffed, obviously unimpressed by Puck's answer. "I don't know _why_, all right? I just do!"

"Well, stop! All you're doing is making this more confusing!" Kurt said angrily.

"Making what more confusing?" Puck wasn't angry anymore, and he turned to face Kurt. He was confused. Now he knew what it felt like to be Finn.

"I like you, all right? _Like_ you, like you!" And you're being kind, considerate, understanding, and all these things that make it really hard to _not_ like you!" Kurt yelled, still angry.

"Of course you like me. Who wouldn't?" Puck said automatically, and that was the _wrong_ thing to say.

"I don't even know _why_ I like you! You're an arrogant asshole with a mohawk!" Normally, Puck would have protected the 'hawk, but he had more important things to worry about, like deviation from OGIKP.

"Well, figure out your own fuckin' feelings, Hummel, because it's not my job to deal with them." Puck stormed away, muttering a litany of curses. This was _not_ good.

Kurt liking him had been a part of the plan. Kurt obviously thought he was hot (A, who wouldn't. B, Kurt had practically been drooling over Puck when he was half-clothed. Imagine what Kurt would be like if he was naked...). That was fine with the plan. Kurt was supposed to be head over heels for him, at least originally. Now Puck didn't want to _hurt_ the boy, so now he had to deal with Kurt's feelings before he got him into his bed (or his car, or the shower, or... anywhere, really.)

Step one was mostly complete. Kurt hadn't even reacted to Santana's comment about Blaine. Step two was obviously too much of a success. So, was it time for step three? Wining and dining didn't seem like a great way to help Kurt get over his feelings, but what other choice did Puck have? Maybe they could negotiate, or something.

Operation Getting Into Kurt's Pants was _not_ going according to plan.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: There. Done for now. So much drama, so little time. Sorry to the people that wanted a little more Kurt/Puck physical action, but they're not quite there yet. Wait a little bit, I promise. Trust me, things are going to get **_**very**_** interesting. We haven't even handled Blaine yet! If anyone care to figure out their seating chart for the restaurant, let me know and I'll link it in the next chapter.**

**Sorry sorry sorry for the super painful wait. I got absorbed in other stories and that monstrosity some call real life. Also, my internet died. Again.  
><strong>

**Songs used:**_  
>'Finally Free'<em> by Johnny Pacar & Josie Loren (from 'Make it or Break it')_  
>'Pure Imagination'<em> from _Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory_

**Reviews are Love.**


	14. Just A Kiss

**A/N: Sorry for the long break in updates. Now, I know how you guys said you felt about Blaine, but they're **_**not friends.**_** Kurt just needs a little push in the right direction, and Blaine will do exactly the right thing, even if he doesn't mean to. Trust me, you'll approve.**

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><p>Kurt had two equally horrible options. He could chase after Puck and try to figure out what was going on in his head. After all, the countertenor <em>had<em> just revealed his feelings towards the jock out of the blue. He should probably try to apologize and make amends, or even just try to talk to him.

His other option was to go back into the restaurant, where Quinn and Mercedes were still loudly arguing. He knew Quinn had just flown off the handle talking to Santana and when he had tried to intervene, the negative energy got redirected towards him. Logically, he knew all of that. Emotionally, Quinn had brought up something that was kind of a raw nerve, especially considering they had just been at an emotional funeral, and he wasn't quite ready to forgive her.

Kurt could hear the sound of Puck's truck starting up (it had needed a new muffler for as long as Puck had owned it), forcing him to choose option two. Standing up and grimacing at the fact there was now mud all over his pants, Kurt headed back through the kitchen, ignoring the yelling in Chinese (which probably wasn't very complementary).

"Kurt-" Quinn started immediately as he walked in to door, but Kurt shook his head as he sat down and she stopped. "Where did Puck go?" she asked instead.

"He left," Kurt said flatly, knowing his tone would discourage anyone from asking why or where he went. Kurt wasn't sure he could answer either of those questions honestly.

"That's a shame. He missed his chance to open his fortune cookie," Tina said quietly, being one of the only mostly-neutral people that could break the heavy silence. Kurt knew she disapproved of what Quinn had said, but Tina didn't hate people, and she knew why Quinn had said it as well as Kurt did. As far as the Rachel, Quinn, and Finn drama, most people had gotten over it a long time ago. Only the fact that he had once been involved (and the fact that he was Finn's brother now) kept Kurt involved.

Tina's words seemed to remind everyone that they had their fortune cookies (all the food had been cleared away. Exactly how long had Kurt and Puck been outside?). The table was silent except for the sounds of cracking before they started reading. "Now these three remain, faith, hope, and love. The greatest of these is love," Rachel began the traditional reading of the fortune cookies, and it was obviously she was pleased with what she had gotten. After all, it fit the roller coaster relationship she and Finn had quite well.

Quinn pointedly turned her head away from Rachel's fortune, but she read next. "If you want the rainbow, you must put up with the rain." Finn, Kurt supposed, being the rain in her mind. What was the rainbow? Maybe Finn was really the rainbow? Maybe Beth and Puck were the rain? Too many options for his taste, but he wasn't going to think about it anymore. It was _her_ fortune.

"A woman who seeks to be equal with men lacks ambition." Tina giggled at Artie's fortune. First of all, it was clear it was meant for a woman. Secondly, after what had happened last year between the two of them with Madonna week, it made sense that would be an old memory for them.

Mike frowned and read next. "A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking." Both Sam and Finn grimaced. As the two people at the table who had the most trouble with school, they would definitely identify with that fortune. Mike, as well as a few others, just chuckled.

"Truth is an unpopular subject. Because it is unquestionably correct," Sam read to no reaction.

"Okay, who rigged this?" Finn asked. "'Whenever possible, keep it simple'? Really? That's just mean, guys!" Everyone tried not to laugh.

"Nobody tampered with your fortune, Finn. It's simply... it's an unfortunate coincidence." Now giggles were breaking through. Rachel really needed to learn to think through her words before she said them.

"You're not simple, sweetie," Kurt said automatically. The nickname didn't seem to bother Finn anymore, though it garnered an annoyed look from an embarrassed Rachel. "You just see things in a different way than everyone else does."

"Well, I don't know about frankenteen's, but I certainly like my fortune! 'Your artistic talents win the approval and applause of others.' They damn well better, and soon too!" Mercedes read her (hopefully accurate) fortune with enthusiasm. It definitely fit, considering how talented she was, even if St. James (the asshole) had made her feel less so.

"Mine's dumb," Tina said quietly. " A quiet evening with friends is the best tonic for a long day." Tina might have thought it was dumb, but Kurt definitely knew the truth in those words. He seemed to have an awful lot of long days.

"So's mine. 'A cynic is only a frustrated optimist.' Obviously not true." Lauren's was probably meant to be funny, but her attitude ruined the joke.

"What's yours, Sanny?" Brittany asked, staring at her own in confusion.

"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world," Santana read, carefully not looking at Brittany. "So dumb," she covered, but Kurt could see that she pocketed it. "What's yours, Britt-Britt?"

"I don't get it," Brittany admitted before reading. "Help, I'm being held hostage in a Chinese cookie factory." Everyone cracked up laughing, confusing Brittany even more, so Santana, fighting off laughter, leaned forward to explain it in the blonde cheerleader's ear. How she was going to explain it, Kurt had no idea.

"Kurt, yours is last," Quinn said, and Mercedes threw her a protective glare automatically. Quinn would be rebuilding that bridge for a long time, because Mercedes didn't take anything lightly.

"Every sense is heightened and every emotion is magnified," Kurt read, as confused as Brittany was by alarm systems. Kurt turned the paper over, only finding 'cat' in Chinese and a string of lucky numbers.

"Am I the only one who doesn't get it?" Finn asked, and everyone shook their heads, except for Rachel, who nodded, drawing everyone's attention to her.

"You guys don't know that quote, Kurt?" Rachel asked, clearly shocked, but Kurt had no idea what she was talking about. Rachel began to recite whatever it had come from, "We all want to fall in love. Why? Because that experience makes us feel completely alive, where _every sense is heightened, and every emotion is magnified_. Our everyday reality is shattered, and we are flying into the heavens. It may only last a moment, an hour, or an afternoon, but that doesn't diminish its value, because we are left with memories that we treasure for the rest of our lives." Rachel finished just when Kurt was about to shut her up. "The quote's from _The Mirror Has Two Faces_." All the added information did was earn her more blanks looks. "Starring the one-and-only Barbra Streisand? You've never heard of it?" Everyone shook their heads again, and Rachel murmured something under her breath that sounded like 'uncultured heathens.'

"Should one of us read Puck's?" Quinn asked, but Finn shook his head.

"Fortunes are, like, sacred, only the person who got it should read it. Otherwise it's super bad luck. Give it to me, I'll get it to him tomorrow." Finn reached for it, but Kurt snatched it first. It gave him a reason to talk to Puck, at the very least.

"I'll take it to him, I have to talk to him about something. Besides, you don't want it to get crushed or lost in that mess you call your backpack.. or your room.. or anywhere, really." Kurt slipped the cookie in his pocket, not really caring if it got cracked.

Everyone left in groups after they had split the bill. Finn had complained about Puck not paying his share, but a death glare from Santana shut him up. Kurt drove Mercedes and Quinn to Mercedes' house, where they would spend the night gorging on ice cream and saying horrible things about Finn to make Quinn feel better.

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><p>Kurt had convinced himself to ask Quinn where Puck lived last night in the hope of seeing him Sunday, but couldn't quite make himself go over there yet. Now, it was about one in the afternoon on Sunday, and Kurt was staring at Puck's address, trying to convince himself to go over there. He was about to grab his keys when his phone buzzed.<p>

"Hello?" Kurt asked, not bothering to check the Caller ID because he'd answered too fast. He wasn't sure if he was hoping it was Puck or dreading it being Puck.

Evidently, his feelings didn't matter, because it wasn't Puck. "Kurt! Hi. I, um, didn't think you would answer." It was Blaine.

"Blaine. You called," was a moronically obvious thing to say, but Kurt was reeling. Yes, Blaine had left him that message before, but it had never occurred to him that Blaine might call again and he ran the risk of actually answering.

"Yeah, I just, uh, wanted to apologize for that message I left. I was feeling.. pretty lonely, to be honest, and I guess I just really missed you." Blaine was nothing if not straightforward, and Kurt had rather missed that.

"I.. I don't want to tell you I miss you too, but I do. I mean, my life's already complicated enough without you. No offense." Not that Kurt would feel bad about offending him, but Blaine wasn't exactly the main source of stress in his life right now.

"What's going on?" Blaine asked immediately, then backtracked. "I mean, not that you have to tell me, because you obviously don't have to tell me anything you don't want to, but if there was some way I could help, I..." Blaine trailed off.

"This really isn't something you could help me with, or something you would want to help me with." Kurt would feel bad about telling his ex-boyfriend about his boy problems. Blaine would certainly never do that to him.

"I would help you with anything. I mean, I certainly owe you for... y'know. What happened.. _that night_. Erm, I'm really sorry about that. Again." This was not a topic Kurt wanted to discuss. Ever.

"Blaine, I'm pretty sure you don't want to hear about my boy problems, no matter how unacceptable what you did _that night_ was." Kurt didn't say he forgave Blaine, because he didn't. Not yet.

"Of course I do. Even in this awkward post-break-up-whatever-we-are stage, I want you to be happy, Kurt." Kurt closed his eyes, breathing hard and debating. Blaine meant what he said, he was such a genuinely good person. At the same time, it would hurt him to hear about Kurt moving on (because that's what he was doing... or what he was trying to do), and what could he really say?

"I like Noah, um, Puck. You know Puck. I call him Noah now, because we're.. friends. I guess. I really like him, and I want to be a little more than friends, but he's painfully straight. Except sometimes he acts like he's... not, or at least that's he would be comfortable if he wasn't. Then there's something Quinn said, about me not knowing things about him, that makes me wonder what she knows, and if there's something in his past to corroborate with my idea of his not-so-straightness.." Blaine was silent at the other end for a few moments.

"Are you out of your mind?" Blaine asked, but he sounded _angry_ as much as he sounded incredulous. "You're considering dating _Noah Puckerman_? The idiot that threw you in dumpsters, tossed slushies on you, and messed with your head for _years_. The crass idiot with a mohawk that sleeps with everything that moves?"

"Oh, like you know him," Kurt said, angry that Blaine was getting angry. "He's been an amazing person lately, and he _never_ messed with my head. I always knew what to expect from him."

"And how's that philosophy holding up now?" Blaine asked, and Kurt didn't have a good answer for that. "He's an idiot and a Neanderthal, and you deserve so much better!"

"Noah has done everything for me!" Kurt argued, angry with Blaine's superiority. "He's stuck up for me, he's taken care of me, he hasn't treated me like some idiotic child!" Like Blaine was. Right now. "Maybe Noah's done some bad things in the past, but he's _changed_! Puck was the one who built me back up from the ground after _you_ shattered me to _pieces_!" Kurt was yelling now. Like Blaine had a right to judge Puck.

"Do you seriously think Mr. Wham, Bam, Thank You _Ma'am_ actually wants to _date_ you! Stop being so naive, Kurt! If he even wants you, the very _male_ you, he wants to fuck your brains out and leave you in a cold bed! You need someone that actually gives a shit about you!" Blaine didn't swear often unless he was _really_ angry (or really turned-on, but Kurt wasn't thinking about that).

"He takes care of the people he loves!" Kurt yelled into his phone, regardless of the concerned look he was now getting from Finn, who probably had heard way too much of this conversation, but Kurt was beyond caring. That's what he got for eavesdropping. "He took care of Quinn, he was ready to take care of the child they had because Quinn was too stupid to use a damn condom!"

"And you think he loves you? News flash, he wants your _ass_ and nothing else! You need someone who actually wants _you_, not just your body!" Blaine yelled, and Kurt could hear concerned questions from behind him.

"Like you? Is that what you're getting at? You blew your chance with me, Blaine, so stop being such a jealous asshole and get over the fact that I may have actually found an amazing guy who cares about me!" Kurt wished he had a phone that could he could slam down or shut, but he settled for hanging up before Blaine could respond, sitting down heavily. When had he stood up?

"Dude, you okay?" Finn asked, and Kurt nodded.

"Don't call me dude," Kurt said automatically as he stood up again, grabbing his keys and a coat. Everything that he had said to Blaine about Puck was true, and he couldn't believe it had taken him this long to realize it.

"Where are you going?" Finn asked, probably just too curious for his own good.

"Noah's."

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><p>Puck was feeling pretty good about his plan for negotiating. He would tell Kurt that he liked him (which wasn't true. Not even a little bit), but he was unsure about the gay thing. Somehow, he would manage to intersperse wining and dining with 'trying things out' (at least that is how he would sell it to Kurt). Kurt would understand that he just wasn't sure of his gay limits, and would agree to an out-at-any-time relationship. Puck would reach his limit eventually, and no one would be hurt. Awesome.<p>

Now all Puck had to do was apologize to Kurt for what he had said yesterday and get Kurt to do out on that initial date with him, and that all could be accomplished on Monday. Relaxed and alone in the house (his mom was working and Sarah was at the bowling alley with some friends), Puck decided to put on some Halo for a little bit and chill. There was a pile of homework on his desk due for Monday, and he wasn't doing any of it.

Puck was in the zone, killing anyone he saw and racking up more points than he ever had, so it was logical that he was annoyed when the doorbell rang. Puck unlocked the door, but not the chain, pulling the door open a small enough crack that a gun would have trouble aiming and a foot couldn't stick through it to observe who it was. These were preventive measure he'd learned from years of experience.

To his surprise, it wasn't any of his crazy and occasionally violent neighbors, but rather a nervous-looking Kurt, twirling his car keys in his hand, not even noticing the crack that Puck had opened the door. Chuckling at the irony of Kurt and his fancy car being in Puck's shitty neighborhood, Puck closed the door and unlocked the chain, before opening it again.

"Hi," Kurt said quietly once he realized the door had been opened.

"Hello," Puck replied, stepping back and opening the door wide as an silent invitation to come in. Kurt took the invitation and walked into Puck's tiny house, but he still looked unsure of what to do with himself. "Sit," Puck offered, but it came out sounding more like a command and Kurt listened, sitting on his ratty couch, wrinkling his nose slightly at the smell Puck was used to.

"I kind of needed to talk to you," Kurt said, still unusually quiet. "Oh, I brought you your fortune cookie." Kurt drew a surprisingly un-mangled fortune cookie, still in a Lomaine House wrapper, out of his pocket.

Puck snorted, but said, "Thanks," and took the cookie. Only Kurt would think of something like that.

"I'm sorry about what happened yesterday. I shouldn't have sprung the fact that I kind of like you on you. I mean, you're straight, right?" Kurt looked up at Puck from under his lashes, and Puck had to wonder exactly how shy Kurt was really feeling, or if part of this was an act to get Puck to talk.

"Define straight," but Puck didn't give him the chance. "I think Rachel's all right, I think Quinn's smokin', I think you're smokin', I think Finn needs to shower a bit more often, and I see _way_ too many nuts in the locker rooms for my taste. What does that make me?"

"Confusing," Kurt answered right away, and Puck chuckled.

"You're tellin' me." Puck took a seat on the couch next to Kurt, not too close, but not too far away either.

"So, here's a considerably less confusing, yes-or-no question. Do you.. _like_ me?" It was very clear what Kurt was asking, but that didn't mean Puck was going to give him a straight answer.

"Of course, you're my best buds little bro," Puck said with a wink, tempted to noogie Kurt for full effect, but knowing he probably wouldn't come out of the conversation with all his appendages if he did.

"Noah." That was Kurt's no-nonsense voice, and Puck sighed.

"Yeah, I guess." Puck felt a little bad for manipulating Kurt, but this was the only way everyone could be happy without anyone getting hurt. "I mean, if you were a girl, it would be a definite 'yes', but..." Puck let the sentence end there.

"But I'm not," Kurt finished. "And I never will be. Is that a deal breaker?"

"I don't know, Kurt," Puck said, which wasn't entirely false. He wasn't entirely sure if he had the balls to go through all the other steps that led up to his goal, but he sure as hell was gay enough to fuck Kurt.

"Could you... _try_?" Kurt sounded so hopeful that Puck almost felt bad for his plan, but he knew if he played his cards right, they could all escape this happy and unharmed.

"Yeah, yeah, I guess." Puck pretended to drum his fingers nervously against the couch. "So, what exactly does 'trying' entail?" See, Puck could use grown-up words too.

"Maybe a date?" Kurt asked. "We could go somewhere private or far away, or even just at one of our houses. I mean, if you don't want people to know, and I'm guessing you don't."

"Not right now, no." That, at least, was the truth. He didn't want people to know that he was manipulating Kurt into bed, because that made him sound like just another Cheerio, but he _wasn't_. Puck was just looking out of everyone's best interests.

"So, is that a no to the date or a no to the people knowing?" Kurt asked, and Puck realized how equivocal his statement had sounded.

"Yes to the date, no to the people knowing," Puck clarified, and Kurt beamed.

"Great. So, are you going to open your fortune?" A giant weight had been lifted in the room. Kurt was no longer nervous about Puck rejecting him or beating him up or something, and Puck was no longer nervous that his plan wouldn't work. Now they were just Puck and Kurt, two people who had nebulous date plans and were good friends.

"Oh, yeah." Puck opened the wrapper with a pop, breaking the cookie and eating the pieces before reading his fortune out loud to Kurt. "It can be in a crowd, but in an oblivious crowd." Kurt's eyebrows creased. "What the hell? That sounds like a riddle clue."

"I don't know. Mine was like that too. I think it means it was a part of a longer quote, mine was, but Rachel knew it off the top of her head because it was a Streisand movie." Puck made a mental note to look that up later in case Kurt asked about it.

"Of course she did," Puck said with a snort. "Wanna play some Halo?" It was more the type of offer he would make to his best friend and less the type of offer he would make to some Cheerio chick, so that proved that his kinda-sorta-maybe boyfriend was more the former.

"Sure," Kurt said, considerably less hesitantly than he had been when Puck offered for the very first time.

They spent the next two hours playing Halo. Puck managed to convince Kurt to have some root beer (even though he complained it would ruin his complexion) and some potato chips (even though he complained it would ruin his thighs). Puck's discovery of the day was compliments to whatever body part Kurt had claimed he would ruin made Kurt blush and eat the offending object. Kurt beat Puck every time, but Puck remembered to take it like a man, and Kurt only laughed after a while at his frustrated expressions. Puck knew that Kurt let him win the last game.

It was around four thirty when Kurt grabbed his keys and put on his coat to leave. Puck's mother was set to be home any minute for Sunday dinner, and she usually expected for Puck to have 'guests' gone by then. Puck had offered to let Kurt stay, but Kurt had to cook dinner for his own family. Kurt was just unlocking the chain when Puck remembered something.

"Wait," Puck said, and Kurt stopped what he was doing immediately, turning to face Puck, probably thinking the same thing the baritone was. Puck crossed the room, trying to remember that he was supposed to be gay-shy, and kissed Kurt, wrapping his hands around the countertenor's waist.

Yeah, there was no way he was gay-shy. Kurt had the softest friggin' lips and gasped like he was surprised when Puck kissed him. Puck licked into his mouth, ignoring the boundaries he'd set for himself, as Kurt wrapped his arms around his neck, and kissed back eagerly. Puck dragged himself away (with an impressive suction sound, he might add) before he either slammed Kurt up against the door or dragged the countertenor to his bedroom to have his wicked way with him.

Puck realized he was panting once he opened his eyes, staring into Kurt's blue-green-gray eyes. Kurt was smiling a little bit as he detached himself from Puck. "I'll see you on Monday, Noah," was all Kurt said before he left. Puck had obviously done something right.

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><p>"This doesn't make any sense," Santana said, staring at the same board Kurt was. Honestly, it probably made a lot <em>more <em>sense, but it was still kind of a shock.

"Guys, it was a tough decision," here comes St. Asshole, to ruin Kurt's good mood, "but it's for the good of the club." Now it made even _less_ sense. St. James didn't know what was going on either?

"Although this is deeply personal, try not to take it personally." Okay, Rachel was just a little bit too full of herself, or had St. James informed her of whatever delusion he was under?

"Um, you guys might want to read what the list says," Kurt interrupted, enjoying bursting Rachel's bubble.

"What? Why?" Okay, even Rachel wasn't that full of herself. Obviously St. James had told her something that was wrong.

Instead of the name of the featured soloist that everyone had been hoping for, the list said 'URGENT MEETING TODAY. CHOIR ROOM 3:30.' Nothing else.

"What? How is this possible? Jesse, you said I was going to be the featured soloist!" The last part of Rachel's questions was supposed to be quieter, but Rachel wasn't particularly good at whispering.

"I don't understand," St. James whispered, and he sounded betrayed. Good.

"To the choir room, now!" Rachel ordered. Only St. James followed her, the rest of the people who had auditioned began talking. Kurt headed to talk to his... Noah. They hadn't really decided what they were, but that kiss (the one that had made his knees go weak and made him see fireworks and made... certain parts of his body react more than others) was definitely an indication towards the word 'boyfriends', right?

Kurt never got the chance to see Noah, because Finn walked around the corner, a pink flower with a white center in his hand (a Cherokee Brave Flowering Dogwood would be Kurt's best guess), and a dejected look on his face. It was Kurt's brotherly duty to go over and find out what was wrong.

Before Kurt would even ask, Finn answered his question. "He kissed her before I could. I broke up with a girl I loved for her, and he got her first." Kurt didn't need to ask for any clarification, but reached up to give Finn a hug. Finn squeezed him a little too hard, burying his face in Kurt's neck, but Kurt didn't complain. He was too stuck on the fact that Rachel hadn't slapped St. James and ran away, but no one would expect that he had kissed Puck last night either. Strange things happen.

"It's gonna be okay." Kurt comforted Finn until Finn let him go, clearing his throat and trying to pretend he hadn't had a moment of weakness. Kurt rolled his eyes. "Come on, Cowboy, we have a meeting in the choir room."

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><p>Everyone waited in silence for Mr. Schue to arrive. "Oh, Mr. Schue, thank God you're here to put these trolls out of their misery," Santana said, and Kurt rolled his eyes. She was so convinced she would win she was turning into a sassy Rachel. Kurt knew he wasn't going to win (there was too much enmity between him and St. James), but he was secretly hoping Rachel didn't either. Even if it <em>would<em> be good for the club. "Can you just announce my win so that I can get on with teasing the losers?" By losers, she meant Rachel.

"I heard your performance, Santana. This is mine, and you know it." Rachel could be so snobby sometimes. It was probably true, but it was rude nonetheless.

"See, Jesse? This is the kind of infighting and "me first attitudes that I wanted to avoid." Kurt rolled his eyes. Like this didn't happen anyway when Mr. Schue wasn't paying attention. All he was disappointed about was that his maybe-boyfriend hadn't taken the empty seat next to him, and it was now being used as Mike's footrest. Sure, Lauren had sat next to him, but she wouldn't think anything of it, and Finn was near him too. So why was Puck in the back row with Mercedes?

Why was he already turning into a possessive girlfriend?

"What you call infighting, I call motivation," St. James replied, and Kurt almost rolled his eyes again. St. James probably believed what he was saying, too, but that didn't mean it wasn't ridiculous. "And this is just the beginning. Once we get to Nationals, I'll have them willing to kill each other for that solo." Newsflash! They already were.

"No," Mr. Schue said firmly. Did he really not realize how much fighting and bloodlust there already was under the surface, some over solos, others just because they were teenagers that were way too close to be anything but one big incestuous family. "I've changed my mind." Oh, thank Prada. "We're going back to what got us here, original songs sung by the entire club." Or by Rachel, solo, like last competition. "We're a team, and we're best when we work as one."

"You're going to lose," St. James said immediately.

"Whatever we do, we're going to do it _together_," Mr. Schue said firmly.

"Actually, Santana, you sounded pretty good," Kurt said as apology for Rachel's comment.

"Thanks. You guys were all pretty dope too." Kurt smiled at the compliment. "Even Rachel," Santana said begrudgingly.

"I wish I could sound like you do, Santana. I mean, how do you get that raspiness?" Rachel probably didn't want to know, but at least she was being nice now.

"So nice. I smoke cigars." She probably didn't, but Santana had a habit of making her life sound more interesting and dangerous than it actually was.

"All right, guys, time to get to work. Now, I want two hit songs by the time the wheels touch down at JFK." Everyone got up for their rhyming dictionaries, but Mr. Schue wasn't done. "Since there was so much tension in the air this week, it seems time to do a little clearing. That's right, a free-for-all week, singing anything, any genre, to or for someone, just because you need to get a message across. Keep it clean though, guys, and this is a _positive_ energy week. For now, it's _writing time_! Come on."

Kurt was one of the first ones to hop down for a writing dictionary, eager to work on his first original songs, but he noticed Finn talking to Quinn. This couldn't end well, and surely enough, Finn looked confused and concerned as Quinn picked up her rhyming dictionary. He would make Finn some warm milk later.

"Hey," Puck said as he picked up a dictionary for himself, their hands brushing and sending a rush of electricity up his arm (that certainly hadn't happened before!).

"Hi," Kurt replied, taking a seat in the front row this time and cheering as Puck took the seat next to him.

"So, you, me, Friday night, somewhere in Marion? I was thinking the Warehouse, Bob Evans, or Infinity." Kurt had never heard of any of those places, but he hadn't been on many hiding-from-his-friends out-of-town dates.

"You pick." Puck raised an eyebrow as he pretended to search for something in his dictionary without looking down.

"Which is gi..Kurt for you've never heard of any of those places, right?" Kurt couldn't help but notice Puck almost said 'girl speak', but he let it slide. After all, this was all a test, and it was quite possible there would be no second date, so there was really no use in trying to change Puck's habits. That _screamed_ 'clingy girlfriend you want to break up with'.

"Astute. Yes."

"This first one's Italian, the second and third one's are kind of everything. There's something you would eat at every single one of them, Bob Evans is just a little farther away, maybe ten minutes. The whole town's an hour away anyway, so it doesn't make much of a difference." Kurt considered it, but he had still never heard of these places.

"You can still choose, considering you can make the most informed choice." Puck raised an eyebrow again, but didn't question this time.

"Infinity Restaurant it is. I'll pick you up at 6:30?" When Kurt nodded, Puck gave him the Puckasauras 'charm-the-pants-off-anything' smirk, and he felt himself going a little weak at the knees again. Was one kiss all it took for him to fall apart? "Great. What's a good rhyme for 'fuckin' amazing eyes'?" Puck asked, and Kurt laughed.

* * *

><p>Kurt was in the kitchen heating up warm milk for he and Finn when his father stomped in the door, muttering something about 'bigots' that Kurt would pretend he didn't hear. "You're home late," Kurt commented, and the muttering stopped.<p>

"Got held up at the garage. Did you guys already eat?" Kurt nodded without turning around.

"Your food is in the oven, make sure you have some asparagus with it." Kurt didn't have to look to know what his dad was making a face. Ignoring it, Kurt started humming _Beautiful Eyes_ again, he couldn't help it. The song may be ridiculous (and by a band called the Naked Brothers Band), something that Puck's little sister liked, but the way Puck had rewrote parts of it had been so cute Kurt couldn't help but sing it again in his head and smile.

"What are you so happy about?" Burt asked gruffly. It wasn't that his dad didn't want him to be happy, of course, he was just suspicious of anything that made him _this_ happy, because it was usually a guy.

"I have a date with Noah on Friday," Kurt said honestly, knowing it would come up eventually. His dad sighed, and Kurt could hear him reach into the refrigerator for a beer.

"That Puckerman kid?" Burt asked, as though he was hoping the answer was 'no' even though he knew it was Puck.

"Yes, Noah Puckerman." Burt sighed again.

"Kid, we need to have a talk." Kurt groaned internally but made sure to remain happy outside.

"Dad, we already had that talk, can we please _never_ repeat it?" The talk had been embarrassing enough when there was no one in particular (okay, so everyone involved know Blaine was the true topic, but it hadn't been outright _stated_), with Puck, Kurt feared what his dad could think to say.

"This isn't a sex talk, this is a 'you're going on a date with a bad boy and I have to try and talk you out of it even though I know I can't' talk." Kurt rolled his eyes as he decided to leave the warm milk in the microwave. Let it stay warm while he and his dad had this talk.

"Noah's not a 'bad boy', dad, not anymore." Burt shook his head.

"Once a bad boy, always a bad boy. Buddy, he's been in _jail_."

"It was just juvie," Kurt corrected him, and Burt sighed for the third time.

"Kiddo, do you really think this is a good idea? I won't say you can't, because I know that my disapproval would only make you want to go more, plus the fact I've never micro-managed your life before and I don't plan to start now, but this is the kid that threw you in dumpsters, that has a _daughter_ with another friend of yours." When Burt said it that way, Puck sounded horrible and Kurt sounded irresponsible for dating him, but it wasn't like that, right?

"Dad, Quinn is fully supportive of this, and Noah has become a good guy. One date won't hurt anyone." Kurt didn't know why he was still having this conversation, considering his dad had just finished saying he wouldn't say 'no', but somehow having his father's approval, even if it was begrudging, was important.

"I hope not," Burt said gruffly. "What happened to this kid's straight and not even curious? Where did that go?"

"Where did the one chance you promised him that he hasn't messed up yet go?" Kurt asked, avoiding the question.

"It didn't extend to him _dating_ you, because you made it very clear he would never_ want_ to date you. You're avoiding my question." Damn, his dad knew him too well.

"Honestly, I don't know where Noah's heterosexuality went, but I certainly don't miss it, and if you really want to know, I'll ask him." Kurt was bluffing, and he was going to get called on it.

"You do that. Hell, maybe _I'll_ do that when he comes to pick you up on Friday." Kurt huffed and rolled his eyes. Busted.

"Dad, behave." Kurt ended the conversation, removing the milk from the microwave and heading for Finn's room.

"Buddy?" his dad's voice called after him and Kurt paused. "You know I'm only doin' this 'cause I love you, right, kid?" Kurt smiled softly.

"Yeah, dad, I know. I love you too." Kurt headed for Finn's room for a long night of consoling and senselessly violent action movies.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: There, some Puckurt action, a lot of Klaine yelling, some Furt bonding, and some canon scenes. The perfect chapter concoction. So, the question is, how well do you think Puck's plan is going to go? How easily will twitterpated Kurt be fooled? How crazy will the song choices for this week I made up go?**

**Songs mentioned: **_'Beautiful Eyes'_ by the Naked Brothers Band (which isn't a half bad song).

**Reviews are Love.**


	15. Positoovity Act I

**A/N: Hello my lovely readers! Yes, I'm alive and, as usual, apologetic. This chapter was very planning-intensive, so there's a lot of it. I'll probably end up writing it in one big mashed-up monster chapter and splitting it into pieces for you... but that does mean lots of updates! This chapter has a lot going on with everyone, and unless you know the song, READ THE LYRICS! They're important! Without further ado, the first chapter I've ever written of any story that made me incredibly happy I'm not Ryan Murphy! Read on.**

* * *

><p>Kurt was feeling nauseous, and he knew he wasn't the only one. Nothing good could ever come of Mr. Schuester letting them have a free-for-all song week, no matter how much he encouraged them to be positive. This, however, was possibly the worst thing that they would have to watch all week.<p>

Rachel and Jesse, practically slobbering all over each other and causing the dramatic death of any like Kurt had once had for their chosen song, and the musical it was from, for that matter. They were both so wrapped up in the others' pathetic over dramatics that they couldn't see that Finn looked ready to kill someone and they couldn't hear the mock-gagging noises Puck was making next to him.

Jesse was leaning against the piano trying to act cool, as though he may turn into an ace detective or whip out a cigarette at any moment, speaking the first lines. "**May I be bold? I never believed in that whole 'some enchanted evening' thing, until now. The first time I saw you, there was a blue wash on the stage and they hit ya with a pink-"**

"_It was just like a musical, huh, Jesse?_" Rachel cut in too early. In _Curtains_, the line had been funny. Now everyone was just bracing themselves for the horror in store.

"**I thought, Rach, I thought to myself...**" Jesse broke out into song with no hesitation. The song was too low for him at parts and his interpretation was.. poor, to say the least.

**You and I, we could be, a tough act to follow  
>Can't you see? Special people doing special things<br>Running rings around any pair, anywhere**

**You and I, we could stay a tough act to follow in every way  
>If you hold my hand and let the music start<br>Let the curtains part, let the spotlight glow.**

"**Gosh, I wish I could do that**," Jesse said in a fake-wistful tone, referring to the little dance Rachel was doing that didn't at all keep time with the music or even with the lyrics she would be singing next.

"_Well, you can, Jesse. It's simple really. Just follow me. Stomp-hop-slap-step-slap-step-stamp-stamp,_" Rachel spoke, and true to Kurt's predictions her movements were completely out of line with her words.

**"**_**Stomp-hop-slap-step-slap-step-stamp-stamp**_," they both said. As much as he loathed Jesse, Kurt had to admit that he could at least keep in time to the beat.

"**Stomp-hop-slap-stomp-slap-step-slap-stomp**," Jesse repeated on his own, and it wasn't supposed to be wrong, was it?

"We're missing a Stooge," Puck mumbled under his breath and Kurt had to stifle his giggle behind his hand. The Three Stooges was a very accurate comparison, though he felt bad for laughing when Finn looked so miserable.

"_Hey, you've done this before_," Rachel said, overly cheery, and Puck snorted loudly enough that she _had_ to have noticed. "_How about a spotlight of your own? Hey, Brad, put him in pink! Oh, looking good, Jesse. Lookin' real good_." The only good thing about this performance so far, from an objective point of view as well as a personal one, was that she had changed the names to incorporate the people actually there.

_We'd be a tough act to follow  
>A tough act to follow, I know<em>

"**Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'**?" Jesse asked almost immediately, cutting out the instrumental part where they were supposed to be dancing. Clearly, couples dancing was beyond their ability. He also sounded significantly more sinister than David Hyde Pierce had.

"_I sure think I am_," Rachel said with a showbiz-ready smile.

Unfortunately, they had figured out that their captive audience wouldn't sing with them, so they sang the end of the song themselves. It would have been interesting to see their reactions when no one had sang for them.

_**You and I, we could be a tough act to follow  
>Can't you see? Special people doing special things<br>Running rings around any pair, anywhere**_

_**You and I, we could stay a tough act to follow in every way  
>Let the curtains parts, let the spotlight glow,<br>we'd be a tough act to follow, a tough act to follow!**_

_Stomp-hop-slap-step-slap-step-stamp-stamp  
><em>**Stomp-hop-slap-step-slap-step-stamp-stamp  
><strong>_**Stomp-hop-slap-step-slap-step-stamp-stamp!**_

Rachel and Jesse finished in true Broadway poses: hands up in the air with jazz fingers and all. The clapping came from a few of the more neutral people in the constant Rachel-Jesse-Finn-Quinn-Puck... oh, who knew who was involved at this point? Nobody could even keep track of what shape they were anymore! Kurt kept his hands firmly at his sides and Puck did the same.

"That was great, Rachel, Jesse. A really _positive_ start to our free-for-all week, and a phenomenal number from a wonderful show to boot!" Mr. Schuester said, and the poor man clearly wasn't giving up on his theme of positivity. It probably wouldn't last for long.

As Mr. Schue talked, Kurt leaned forward to put a hand on Finn's shoulder, because the older boy looked about ready to cry or punch someone. Finn looked up at him with some emotion Kurt couldn't read in his eyes, but he gave Kurt a little smile that was a sad reflection of the lopsided smile that had made Kurt do so many stupid things in the past.

"I have a song, if we have a little more time, Mr. Schue," Sam said. Anything that came from the blonde pretty boy would probably be approved for positivity, and Mr. Schue nodded eagerly.

"We have plenty of time, Sam, come on up!" Mr. Schue sat back in his stool behind the piano bench.

Kurt was interested in spite of his qualms about this week's theme. Though the club had heard plenty of Sam's voice, they hadn't heard very many songs that he had chosen (_Lucky_ with Quinn and _Tonight_ for his audition were the only ones Kurt knew of. There had apparently been some horrible incident called the Justin Beiber Experience while he was at Dalton which involved Sam, but no one seemed eager to talk about it, and he wasn't eager to ask).

Sam picked up his guitar and grabbed a stool to pull to the center of the room. Clearly, he planned on doing no dancing after the embarrassment everyone in the room had just suffered at the hands of Jesse and Rachel.

"This isn't the original arrangement of the song, it's a little more broken-down, more acoustic, but I think it's pretty good." Sam pulled his guitar on to his lap and strummed experimentally before starting to play.

_It was all so crystal clear  
>Words like music in my ear<br>We had it going on, but something's wrong  
>Something's changed<em>

_'Cause when I'm with you these days  
>You feel a million miles away<br>Connection's not so strong  
>What's going on?<em>

_'Cause every time I try to talk to you  
>I end up feeling so confused<br>Like you can't hear a word I'm saying_

_When I'm trying to be close to you  
>I'm having trouble getting through<br>I can't stand it, it's so tragic  
>I feel static between us<em>

_You turn you back, then you take my hand  
>It's getting hard to understand<br>Is it you? Is it me?  
>Is it space or time you need?<em>

_Feelings faded in and out  
>Tell me what to eager now<br>Hold tight or let it go?  
>Oh, I don't know<em>

_Hello, are you really there?  
>Or have you disappeared?<br>Oh, I can't tell  
>It's like I'm talking to myself<em>

_'Cause every time I try to talk to you  
>I end up feeling so confused<br>Like you can't hear a word I'm saying_

_When I'm trying to be close to you  
>I'm having trouble getting through<br>I can't stand it, it's so tragic  
>I feel static between us<em>

Sam's version, for all that it was broken-down, wasn't choppy at all. The performance wasn't great, and everyone could see that Mr. Schue was unhappy with it's not-quite-positive vibe, but it was clear what it meant and who it was for. In a way typical of most amateurs trying to pretend they're not directing the song towards anyone, Sam had looked at everyone (him included, which would have been to Finn's displeasure had he actually been paying attention), but looked at Mercedes three times more than he looked at anyone else. Kurt wasn't sure exactly what had happened there, and resolved to bother it out of Mercedes later.

"That was... very good, Sam," Mr. Schue said with a sigh. Kurt had to wonder if he'd already given up on his positivity on the first day, after only one mildly-negative performance. He might as well, it probably wasn't going to get any better. "Anyone else have anything?" His expression contradicted his words, saying 'please, don't let anyone else have anything'.

Favoring the side of Mr. Schue's expression, no one seemed to have anything prepared. "All right, then. Dismissed." As the club started to chatter and collect their things, Mr. Schue added, "Try to have something a little more upbeat for next time, okay? Remember, we have practice every day this week, even this weekend. We have to be ready for Nationals, so anyone that has anything original can feel free to perform that as well."

Kurt marched right over to Mercedes (ignoring the fact that his semi-quasi-maybe boyfriend was trying to talk to him and wondering if he would regret that later), ready to demand answers. She was staring longingly at Sam, who was having a conversation with Artie. Judging by the fact that he'd caught the words 'dragons', 'level three', and 'slicing into the troll', she wasn't paying attention for the topic.

"Story, now. Details, abundant. My house, ice cream if needed," Kurt demanded, in the way that she had demanded so many things from him.

"Can't you let me have _my _business, bo?" Mercedes asked. Kurt put his hands on his hips and raised his eyebrows. That was all the answer she should need. "Fair enough, but you better have some juicy gossip for me in return, white boy."

"You still haven't told me if we need the ice cream," Kurt replied as he began to walk out, knowing she would follow him and have plenty of sassy comments as to his walking away.

* * *

><p>Puck had been carefully planning their date. Yes, the date was really just one more step to getting into Kurt's pants, but he always took chicks on nice dates if that's what they needed to justify dropping their panties for him, and he planned to extend that rule to Kurt. He had the restaurant, he had the reservations, he had cleaned out, vacuumed, and washed his truck (even though Kurt would probably insist on taking the much nicer and fancier Navigator), he had convinced a very suspicious Quinn to help him pick out nice clothes that Kurt would approve of, and he'd cleaned his room (because he completely planned on needing it, if you caught his drift...).<p>

So, since he'd been spending so much time working on sucking up to the tiny soprano (yes, he was a soprano. Puck had no idea what a 'countertenor' was, and had no plans to find out despite Kurt's insistence), he was kind of annoyed when Kurt completely blew him off after Glee practice. He was planning to say something about it (because he was a badass, and no 5'10" ex-cheerleader scared him, no matter how fierce Kurt's bitch glare was), when Kurt strolled right up to Mercedes and placed his hands on his hips. Puck was a badass, not a dumbass. When Kurt placed his hands on his hips, any male who wanted to maintain possession of their testicles backed off.

So, instead of trying to sex up a soprano, he had to go over and deal with a broken-hearted and moody baritenor. He didn't like the trade-off, but it was his bro-ly duty, and Finn had always been there for him, in his own way.

"Hey dude," Puck greeted his as he swung a leg over the backwards-facing chair next to Finn's.

"Did you see that?" Finn asked, not even returning their bro greeting.

"Yeah, it was disgusting." Puck resisted the urge to spit on the floor. The girls (and Kurt) would be unhappy with him and make him scrub the floor spotless as penance.

"At least she's happy," Finn said glumly. "At least he makes her happy."

"Dude, are you kidding?" Puck asked, punching Finn in the shoulder and wondering a little when he didn't even react. He didn't worry though. Badasses don't worry. "They'll kill each other within a few days, and she'll be back in your arms in a heartbeat."

"He'll follow her to New York, and they'll be on Broadway together, and they'll have five kids, and they'll all be little miniatures of them with scary-awesome voices," Finn said, still sounding super-depressed.

"That's the scariest and grossest fuckin' thing I've ever heard, and I just watched Jesse and Rachel duet," Puck said, trying to get a laugh out of Finn and failing. Kurt would have laughed at that (not that he cared).

"She wants a guy in New York. He wants to be in New York. I don't. Do you know how excited she is? It's all she'll talk about," Finn continued, emotions barely registering on his face.

"You mean she actually took a break from talking about herself? It's a damn miracle," Puck snorted. Yeah, Rachel was smokin', and he totally would bang her if Finn didn't want to (and his attention wasn't focus elsewhere), but the chick wouldn't _shut up_.

"What am I gonna do?" Finn asked, looking up to Puck in the same way he had when Puck had first met him and Finn asked for advice about Sally Rosseau across the playground.

"If you really need to, sing a song about it. It's a little gay, but nothing you haven't done before, and it's gets your point across. Just make sure it's an angry song," Puck advised, swinging out of his chair and leaving before Finn could get it into his head to ask him what would be a good song.

* * *

><p>"Wow," Kurt said as Mercedes finished her story. Everything had gone uphill after Sam had been so sweet to her at dinner (he had barely noticed, being wrapped up in making Jesse miserable and thinking Sam's compliments were the same to Rachel <em>and<em> Mercedes. He never noticed the way their gazes lingered and locked and the way that he was always on her heels to try and improve their night).

Sam and Mercedes had spent the whole night talking and laughing, and they had slow-danced every time the chance came up (which, sadly, was only during _Bluebird_. There had been very few slow dances, and Sam was the singer of the second one).

"He was absolutely nothing but sweet to me, tellin' me how gorgeous I looked in my dress," Mercedes said with a big smile, happier than Kurt had seen her in a long time. Yes, Mercedes was a diva and they had agreed around Valentine's Day that neither of them needed a man to hold them back, but being around Sam made Mercedes light up like a Christmas tree.

"So what was with the song today than?" Kurt asked, lounging on his bed and popping a kernel of no-butter popcorn in his mouth.

"We haven't really talked since then," Mercedes admitted, and Kurt groaned.

"Merce! You need to talk to him. Make it very clear what you want," Kurt said firmly. If he couldn't take control in the quasi-relationship building between him and Puck because of Puck's wavering sexuality, he could at least make sure that Mercedes was boss.

"I don't know what I want from that boy! Relationships are too damn confusing." Kurt resisted the urge to give a hearty 'hear, hear!'

"Well, I guess you need to figure that out, and soon. I have a feeling Sammy's waiting for a reaction to his little serenade." Kurt popped a bit more popcorn in his mouth, ignoring the fact that it would go straight to his thighs.

* * *

><p>"All right guys, settle in. We had one positive performance yesterday, and one not-quite-positive performance, so let's try to stick to the theme today, okay? Artie has volunteered to perform first, so without further ado, take it away Artie!" Everyone clapped as Artie wheeled to the front, accepted his guitar from the helpful band member standing there who proceeded to disappear into thin air, and cleared his throat.<p>

"This song goes out to Brittany, who I owe an apology. I never should have said to you what I did, and I'm... well, _Sorry_," Artie said with a grin, and everyone got it a moment later as Artie started to play, backed up by the band.

_Oh I had a lot to say, was thinking on my time away  
>I missed you and things weren't the same<em>

_'Cause everything inside, it never comes out right  
>And when I see you cry, it make me want to die<br>_

_I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry I'm blue,  
>I'm sorry 'bout all the things I said to you<br>And I know I can't take it back_

_I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds,  
>and baby the way you made my world go round<br>And I just wanted to say.. I'm sorry_

_This time I think I'm to blame  
>It's harder to get through the days<br>You get older and blame turns to shame_

_'Cause everything inside, it never comes out right  
>And when I see you cry, it make me want to die<em>

_Every single day I think about how we came all this way  
>The sleepless nights and the tears you cried<br>It's never too late to make it right  
>Oh yeah, sorry!<em>

_I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry I'm blue,  
>I'm sorry 'bout all the things I said to you<br>And I know I can't take it back_

_I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds,  
>and baby the way you made my world go round<br>And I just wanted to say.. I'm sorry._

_I'm sorry, baby  
>I'm sorry, baby<br>I'm sorry..._

Artie's version was perfect, and Brittany's face was lit up in a smile. Santana and Mr. Schue both looked torn, Santana because she loathed that Artie had serenaded her.. Brittany, but at the same time wanted Brittany to be happy, Mr. Schue probably because he couldn't decide whether or not that song was positive.

"That was great, Artie. Maybe not the upbeat kind of song I'd had in mind, but I guess it fits the theme!" Mr. Schue was about to say something else when Brittany interrupted him by running up and giving Artie a hug, simultaneously climbing onto his lap and almost squishing his guitar.

"Of course I forgive you. You were, like, the nicest, sweetest boyfriend I've ever had. Honestly, I'm not quite sure I remember what you did..." Brittany trailed off, but Artie just smiled and wheeled them back to his previous seat, Brittany still in his lap. Now Santana looked decided.. and annoyed.

Puck, for whatever unfortunate reason, had been dragged into the front row with Rachel and Jesse and was occasionally sending Kurt 'kill me' looks from beside the couple. Rachel and Jesse weren't overly tactile, but were always _that_ obnoxious couple that were love-y without being sweet and just generally irritating. Finn looked depressed, as he had the last few days, but he didn't seem inclined to talk to him, so he wasn't going to push (as much as he may have wanted to).

"I have a song," Finn said quietly before Mr. Schue could say anything else. Proving that he was ten thousand times the leader Jesse tried to be, every head in the room swiveled to him, despite the fact that most people could barely hear him.

"That's great, Finn, come on up." Mr. Schue looked wary, but he trusted his favorite to deliver a positive song even in the middle of his own personal Great Depression. Puck offered a fist bump as Finn walked down and Finn returned it with no force.

When the guitar started out, it sounded as though the song could go either way, then the lyrics started and the string quartet began, and the song became mournful.

_Yesterday  
>All my troubles seemed so far away<br>Now it looks as though they're here to stay  
>Oh I believe in yesterday<em>

_Suddenly I'm not half to man I used to be  
>There's a shadow hanging over me<br>Oh yesterday came suddenly_

_Why she had to go I don't know she wouldn't say  
>I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday<br>_

_Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play  
>Now I need a place to hide away<br>Oh, I believe in yesterday_

The silence following Finn's performance was not stunned, but rather awkward. Finn had spent the entire song blatantly staring at Rachel, who seemed near tears, and Jesse had progressed from holding her hand to having his arm around her to practically having her in his _lap_ as his jealousy increased the more emotional Rachel got.

"That was... touching, Finn." Mr. Schue gave him no grief about not properly fitting the theme. It was obvious to everyone that Finn was in a lot of pain. Now all he needed was to find his resolve to win her back, and that would lift him from his depression.

"I have an original song I would like to try out if that would be okay, Mr. Schue," Quinn said, the first time she had spoken in Glee club since she and Finn had broken up. "It's a little bit of empowerment for everyone."

_I'm done  
>Sitting here waiting for you<br>'Cause you're gone  
>I'm now one instead of two<br>And your clothes are gone  
>And I'm all alone<br>You walked out that front door  
>And you took everything<em>

_You took our hopes, our dreams, our everything  
>You stuffed them in your ears<br>You didn't hear me calling you back_

_I stopped pretending  
>You were gonna call again<br>And catch a train  
>Headed out my way<br>I'm done living this fairytale  
>'Cause you took everything<em>

_You took our hopes, our dreams, our everything  
>You stuffed them in your ears<br>You didn't hear me calling out your name_

_But I am strong  
>And I'll move on<br>'Cause the world keeps  
>Spinning round and round<br>And I got to keep my feet on the ground  
>And sing out loud<br>I've got my hopes, my dreams, my everything  
>And it's been nice to finally be seen<br>You're gone and I can  
>Finally stand on my own<em>

The song honestly wasn't that good. It was choppy, only certain parts of the lyrics flowed properly, and it wasn't very... catchy, for lack of a better word. The song, however, was the first time anyone had seen Quinn light up in a long time, the way that she would light up in triumph whenever she won a Cheerios competition or got the highest grade. Quinn had gotten her spark back. Apparently, all she had needed was some independence. Quinndependence. Kurt smiled; Puck would be proud of him for that pun.

"I titled it _My Everything_," Quinn said after the polite applause had stopped. Kurt saw a brief flash of a smile across Finn's face. The quarterback was glad his ex-girlfriend had found herself again. There was a little bit of longing in Sam's eyes, like he had just realized this was the Quinn he first met, and he missed her.

"That was a good first try Quinn, but we're not quite Nationals worthy yet!" Mr. Schue said, trying to be positive for the sake of his assignment. The only positive thing to be said about that number was that it brought back the old Quinn. Hopefully, none of her old attitude returned with her. "Anyone else have anything for today?"

After a few moments of silence it was generally accepted no one else had anything, and Mr. Schue dismissed them. Kurt walked right up to Puck as his silent apology for walking away the day before.

"Hi," Kurt said, glad the only people around Puck were Rachel and Jesse. No conversation to interrupt there.

"Hey," Puck said casually, as if he had no interest in talking to Kurt. That hurt, but Kurt ignored it. He didn't understand. People had accepted they had become friends, this was a very friendly thing to do. Why was Puck acting like they still hated each others' guts?

"Do you have anything for this week?" Kurt asked, unable to think of any other subject to talk about with his quasi-boyfriend. He blamed Puck for making things awkward.

"You'll just have to see, won't you?" Puck said with his trademark smirk. Before, the expression had annoyed Kurt. Now, it just made him curious. "How 'bout you?" Puck asked coolly.

"You'll just have to see, won't you?" Kurt mocked him, giving Puck his own signature smirk. If Puck was going to be secretive, so was he.

"Fair enough, Princess." Puck smirked as though something suddenly occurred to him. Leaning into Kurt's personal space, close enough that Kurt was nearing losing the ability to think, Puck murmured in his ear. "Two more days before I blow your mind, princess." Pulling away just as suddenly as he had leaned in, Puck winked.

"I have to go talk to R-Rachel," Kurt said, cursing the little stutter caused by Puck's sudden close proximity. Ignoring the questioning look he was getting from Mercedes, he turned and tapped the female diva, not caring that he was rudely interrupting her conversation with her boyfriend.

"Can't you see I'm in the middle of a- hi, Kurt!" Rachel said, immediately brightening. Kurt wasn't sure who she had been expecting (possibly Finn. She seemed almost eager to rebuke him, as though she was trying to prove she was better off with Jesse), but he took the white flag for what it was.

"Hello, Rachel, my darling. I was wondering if you would honor me with assistance for a number. Your beautiful voice would enhance the performance tremendously." Okay, so Kurt was kissing Rachel's butt a little. Sometimes that was what had to be done.

"I would love to! If I may know the title and artist? Of course, I can always sing on command, but my assistance would be much better if I had some time to practice. Perhaps we could even meet up Friday night and-" Rachel babbled, as usual.

"_Holding Out for a Hero_ from _Footloose_," Kurt cut her off, "and I'm busy Friday night." _I will be on a date with your ex-flame_, he thought, but kept it to himself.

"Wonderful choice. I'm sure we will perform phenomenally together. Now, if you'll excuse me," she said, turning back to Jesse and continuing her rant on sequined leg warmers making a comeback. Dear GaGa.

Satisfied that he had achieved his goals for the performance, Kurt strutted out of the room and towards where he had parked his baby. As he passed her, Mercedes muttered, "Boy, what are you up to?" under her breath, but Kurt was pretty sure the question was rhetorical.

* * *

><p>"Warm milk?" Kurt asked from Finn's doorway. Kurt couldn't see him, but he knew exactly what Finn was doing. His step-brother was laying on his bed staring up at the ceiling in his completely silent and pitch-black room. That had become his most frequent past time, and Kurt had passed from mildly concerned, straight through worried at 90 miles an hour, and was now <em>terrified<em> about his step-brother's mental state.

"Why didn't my song work?" was all the answer Finn gave him, so Kurt took it for a 'yes' and moved into the room, successfully flipping the light switch with his wrist without spilling the mug in that hand. Finn groaned at the light, but didn't react otherwise.

"First of all, whoever told you to sing her a miserable song right in front of her boyfriend knows nothing about girls," Kurt replied, setting Finn's milk on his beside table and taking a seat on the edge of Finn's bed with his own. "Second, your song made it sound like you had given up on her. It would have been different if it was angry, or longing, but you just sounded _broken_." Terribly, terribly broken.

"Why does she even like him?" Finn asked. "He treats her horribly."

Kurt sighed. "If you're already infatuated with someone, it's very hard to take a third-person perspective and realize if they don't treat you right. You put up with all the ways Quinn was a horrible girlfriend, the way she bossed you around, the way she never listened to you, the way she _demeaned_ you, and you never even realized. The situation is the same between Rachel and Finn." Satisfied with his answer, he took a sip of his warm milk only to scrunch his nose. He had burnt it.

"And me and you," Finn added, almost making Kurt do a spit take with his burnt milk. "I mean, I treated you like shit and you were still crazy about me." Kurt didn't really have a response to that. After all, it was true.

"Perhaps," was all he had to say. After a pause, he added, "Jesse's not going to be around forever, you know." Jesse wouldn't stay in Lima. Even if he was somewhere else in Ohio, he would be trying to make something of himself.

"She still wants him more than she wants me," Finn said, and Kurt was getting tired of the defeatist talk.

"How do I put this?" Kurt wondered to himself, knowing Finn would be in no hurry to answer. "Rachel seems to always go to whoever is there. She even dated Puck briefly, just because he offered. She wants attention in all areas of life. I really think she honestly loves you, but she went to Jesse because he beat you to it." That probably didn't do much to make Finn feel better, but it was the truth.

"What do _you_ think I should do to get her back?" Finn asked, and it was the first time his voice had been anything but monotone. Improvement.

"I think you should wait," Kurt said, earning a poisonous look from Finn. He clearly did not approve of this suggestion. "Rachel and Jesse will grow apart the moment Rachel begins truly focusing on Nationals, and that's when you should make your move. Maybe even when we're in New York."

"You think so?" Finn asked, and he actually sounded... hopeful. When Kurt nodded, Finn smiled a little and said, "Thanks, Kurt," sitting up and reaching for his warm milk.

"You're welcome, sweetie," Kurt said, and the nickname was so familiar at this point it made Finn's smile a little brighter, though it was still nothing compared to his normal lopsided smile. They sat in silence for a few moments before Kurt thought to ask. "Finn? Do you mind if I do a number with Rachel for this week?"

Finn looked like he was seriously thinking about it for a moment before he shrugged. "I know you're not going to stop being friends with her just because she's making me upset. It would be stupid if you did." Kurt mentally breathed a sigh of relief. He hadn't even thought to ask Finn before he asked Rachel.

"Thanks, Finn."

* * *

><p>"I don't know what you're up to, but I don't like it," Quinn announced, barging her way into Puck's house as usual. Puck always knew when it was Quinn because she wouldn't stop knocking until he answered the door, and she always just pushed it open when he tried to open it a crack. Puck always made sure to undo the chain for fear that she would rip it off the door.<p>

"Whatever you're talking about, I promise I'm not up to it," Puck said almost automatically as Quinn stormed past him into the living room.

"Then why do you seem so concerned about Finn? Why are you all the sudden just a little bit _too_ close to Kurt? Why did I overhear you clearing a song with Mr. Schue after you watched Kurt walk away very closely? You never clear anything with everyone! You don't _care_!" Quinn was near screeching by the end of her rant and Puck was resisting the survival instinct that told him to run and hide.

"Finn's my bro and Rachel treats him like shit, Kurt and I are cool, and Mr. Schue's had a shitty enough week already," Puck said, trying to deflect the un-deflect-able.

"Puck, just tell me what's going on!" Quinn demanded. "I know you like Kurt and I'm okay with that. Just tell me what you're doing about it, because you're obviously doing something."

"Quinn, I can honestly tell you that I will tell you exactly what I'm doing in two days." That would be after he and Kurt went out on their date and far too late for Quinn to ruin his plan.

"Noah Puckerman, you better tell me what you're up to right now," Quinn said, the same fire in her eyes that she got whenever she was ordering around what she considered to be the inferior gender. For once, Puck held his ground.

"No," he said firmly, and Quinn frowned.

"You only won't tell me because you think I will disapprove." She was very, _very_ right. Quinn would be ready to _kill_ him if she knew precisely what he was planning. She didn't really have a right to be mad though, it was his life, and all she had made him promise was that he wouldn't hurt Kurt. This was the only way he could think of doing it _without_ hurting Kurt. She, of course, wouldn't see it that way.

"Or I just want it to be a surprise and am worried you'll blab," Puck lied, relaxing on his couch and not bothering to pat the space next to him, knowing Quinn wouldn't sit. "Do you seriously think I'm going to risk fucking things up with Kurt?" he asked, covering.

"No, I don't think you would _intentionally_." Quinn was pacing around his cramped living room, almost tripping over Barbie dolls and video game cases. "I just know you're not very good with _feelings_, and you're probably going to try to deny that you have feelings for Kurt at some point." That did _not_ strike a chord with Puck. No way was he doing that.

"Quinnie, relax. I've totally got this." Puck patted the seat next to him, but Quinn didn't sit.

"I have to go, my mother thinks that I'm getting a pedicure, she'll realize that I'm not at the spa if I stay for too long." Despite the fact that she wasn't allowed at boys' houses, Quinn was still driving herself. Unfortunately (sometimes fortunately), Puck's house was far enough from the school and hers that she could never stay long.

Quinn went to collect the spring coat she had never taken off and frowned. She opened the door and glanced back briefly, "I hope you know what you're doing, Noah," before leaving. He totally knew what he was doing, right? Mr. Schue even approved of his idea (the part of it that he knew about at least). Teacher approval had to mean something.

* * *

><p>"We've managed to stay mostly positive so far, guys, but I'm really trying to put us in the mood for Nationals. Try something like <em>Don't Stop Me Now<em> by Queen or _Top of the World_ by The Carpenters, or even _New York Groove_ by KISS. You guys should be on the top of the world! We beat the Warblers and we're going to New York City in six days to compete at Show Choir Nationals. At the beginning of last year, we were five people stumbling through _Sit Down, You're Rocking the Boat_." Mr. Schue's inspirational speech would have been plenty uplifting... to a room of people that were listening to him anyway.

Everyone else in the room was focused on the rumor that Jesse and Rachel were having a fight because of the song Finn sang the day before. The two lovebirds were sitting on opposite sides of the front row, Rachel with her back straight, legs crossed, and head pointedly forward, and Jesse with his arms crossed, slumping in his chair, his eyes boring a hole in the floor.

"Mike and I have something that fit the theme, Mr. Schue." It was the first time Tina had sounded excited to perform in a long time.

"That's great, Tina, and I love the enthusiasm, come right up." Mr. Schue didn't seem as enthused as he was trying to fake (probably because Mike couldn't sing), but he gave them the benefit of the doubt and sat in his customary stool to the side of the performance area.

**Baby, let's cruise **_away from here  
><em>**Don't be confused**, _the way is clear  
><strong>And if you want it, you got it forever<br>This is not a one night stand, **__baby, yeah_

_**So  
>Let the music take your mind<br>Just release and you will find  
>You're gonna fly away<br>Glad you're goin' my way  
>I love it when we're cruisin' together<br>The music is played for love,  
>Cruisin' is made for love<br>I love it when we're cruisin' together**_

**Baby, tonight**_ belongs to us  
><em>**Everything's right,** _do what you must  
><strong>And inch by inch we get closer and closer<br>To every little part of each other**_ _ooh baby, yeah _

**So  
><strong>_**Let the music take your mind  
>Just release and you will find<br>You're gonna fly away  
>Glad you're going my way<br>I love it when we're cruisin' together  
>The music is played for love,<br>Cruisin' is made for love  
>I love it when we're cruisin' together<strong>_

_Cruise with me, baby  
>Cruise<em>

_**Ooh, baby, let's cruise  
><strong>Let's flow, let's glide  
><strong>Ooooh let's open up<strong>_ _and go inside  
><strong>And if you want it, you got it, forever<br>I can just stay there beside you and love you, baby**_

_**Let the music**_ _take your mind  
><strong>Just release and<strong>_ **you will find  
><strong>_**You're gonna fly away  
>Glad you're going my way<br>I love it when we're cruisin' together  
>The music is played for love,<br>Cruisin' is made for love  
>I love it when we're cruisin' together<strong>_

_**You're gonna fly away  
>Glad you're going my way<br>I love it when we're cruisin' together**_

Everyone started in shock for about five seconds before Brittany started clapping and everyone followed, whooping and cheering for one of the only numbers everyone had actually liked so far. Mike could _sing_, and it was amazing that he had hid that for so long in the face of Rachel's wrath. Then again, they had never actually heard him try...

"Wow, guys, _wow_. Not only was that song wonderful and perfectly fitting to the theme, but it revealed a talent we would have never known about and we will _definitely_ be utilizing in the future. Awesome, guys." As Mr. Schue complimented them, he not-so-subtly pushed them towards their seats. Kurt rolled his eyes. Sometimes he swore that man taught because he liked to be the center of attention.

"Mr. Schue, can I do my song now?" Puck asked, and everyone kind of whipped their heads around. Yes, Puck had done a few songs before, but only ever to woo someone, and the only girl who wasn't taken was Quinn (no one needed to go down that road again). Zizes had stopped showing up for practice a long time ago.

"Of course, Puck, but remember what we discussed." Even more surprising. Puck had discussed something with a teacher? Kurt was starting to feel a little proud of his semi-boyfriend.

"So, this badass song goes out to all the hotties in the room." Kurt felt himself flush a little. Please say this wasn't Puck's attempt to subtly sing to _him_. Puck smirked, looking directly at Kurt. So much for that.

Kurt almost groaned when the music started.

_I'm bringing sexy back (yeah)  
>Them other boys don't know how to act (yeah)<br>I think you're special, what's behind your back? (yeah)  
>So turn around and I'll puck up the slack (yeah)<em>

_(Take 'em to the bridge)  
>Dirty babe (uh-huh)<br>You see the shackles? Baby, I'm your slave (uh-huh)  
>I'll let you whip me if I misbehave (uh-huh)<br>It's just that no one makes me feel this way (uh-huh)  
><em>

_(Take 'em to the chorus)_

Somehow, without telling any of them who the song was actually for, Puck had managed to convince the other guys to provide the helpful background voice (Timbaland) so he could focus on rolling his hips and grabbing his crotch and otherwise dancing in a way that was making Kurt's blood run south. Fast. Kurt crossed his legs.

_(Come here babe)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<br>(Come to the back)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<br>(VIP)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<br>(Drinks on me)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<br>(Let me see what you're working with)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<br>(Look at those hips)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<br>(You make me smile)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<br>(Go ahead, child)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<br>(And get your sexy on)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<em>

Puck looked pretty amused during this section and Kurt could understand why. Artie had been chosen as the voice during this particular part and he had _no idea_ who he was complimenting. Not that Artie would be as bothered as some of the other guys, but imagining his reacting was still providing Kurt with almost as much entertaining as Puck's dancing. How had he never noticed how good Puck was with his hips?

_(Get your sexy on)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<br>(Get your sexy on)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<br>(Get your sexy on)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<br>(Get your sexy on)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<br>(Get your sexy on)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<br>(Get your sexy on)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<br>(Get your sexy on)_

_I'm bringing sexy back (yeah)  
>The motherfuckers don't know how to act (yeah)<br>Come let me make up for the things you lack (yeah)  
>'Cause you're burning up I gotta get it fast (yeah)<em>

_(Take 'em to the bridge)  
>Dirty babe (uh-huh)<br>You see the shackles? Baby, I'm your slave (uh-huh)  
>I'll let you whip me if I misbehave (uh-huh)<br>It's just that no one make me feel this way (uh-huh)_

_(Take 'em to the chorus)_

_(Come here babe)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<br>(Come to the back)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<br>(VIP)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<br>(Drinks on me)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<br>(Let me see what you're working with)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<br>(Look at those hips)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<br>(You make me smile)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<br>(Go ahead, child)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<br>(And get your sexy on)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<em>

_(Get your sexy on)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<br>(Get your sexy on)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<br>(Get your sexy on)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<br>(Get your sexy on)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<br>(Get your sexy on)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<br>(Get your sexy on)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<br>(Get your sexy on)_

_I'm bringing sexy back  
>You motherfuckers watch how I attack<br>If that's your babe you better watch your back  
>'Cause they're burnin' up for me and that's a fact<em>

_(Take 'em to the chorus)_

_(Come here babe)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<br>(Come to the back)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<br>(VIP)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<br>(Drinks on me)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<br>(Let me see what you're working with)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<br>(Look at those hips)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<br>(You make me smile)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<br>(Go ahead, child)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<br>(And get your sexy on)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<br>_

_(Get your sexy on)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<br>(Get your sexy on)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<br>(Get your sexy on)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<br>(Get your sexy on)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<br>(Get your sexy on)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<br>(Get your sexy on)  
>Go ahead, be gone with it<br>(Get your sexy on)_

Puck was sweaty and smirking and looking thoroughly sexy by the end of his performance. Kurt, ignoring the reactions of his south hemisphere, was kind of touched. Puck had even gone so far as to remove the genders, and get Artie to do so as well. Even Blaine had never done that. As far as serenades go, it was far from romantic, but it was the best serenade Kurt had ever received.

"I'm not entirely sure how that fits into the theme," Mr. Schue said, looking rather scandalized, "but you did a great job, Puck. Your performance was a little more... suggestive than you implied it would be yesterday, but it was spot on for the song, and obviously received a good reaction."

Looking around, Kurt clearly wasn't the only one who had... reacted to Puck's performance. Santana looked rather glossy-eyed, as did Brittany, Tina was trying not to gape, even Rachel and Mercedes were shifting a little uncomfortably in their seats. The only girl who didn't seem affected was Quinn, who actually looked rather... angry? Why would that be?

"That's because I'm a sex shark, Mr. Schue," Puck said casually as he swaggered back to his seat. As Mercedes had sat eagerly next to him to compliment him on his shoes and Quinn had bee-lined for the other side (another thing he didn't understand), Puck couldn't drop himself in a chair next to Kurt, so he settled for directly behind him, placing his feet on the legs of Kurt's chair. In a way, it was nice, like he wanted to be connected to Kurt somehow. Quinn threw him another distrustful look.

"Any more numbers?" Mr. Schue asked, ignoring Puck's comment. "Come on, guys, you can't be all out of ideas, it's only day three." When no one said anything, not even Rachel, Mr. Schue gave up. "Dismissed."

Kurt took some time to cool himself down as Mercedes talked about potential numbers she would do to talk to Sam. She had avoided having an actual conversation with him and instead decided to reply to him in song. Kurt had given up trying to talk out of the idea. Quinn hovered nearby without saying a word, almost like she was protecting him.

It was only after Puck had swaggered out of the room without so much as a wink at Kurt that Quinn left with a small smirk on her face. What was going on there?

"Mercedes, I have to go," Kurt interrupted her rant, standing up and stretching. "I'm helping my dad at the garage today." He wasn't, but he was a little annoyed Puck didn't want to talk to him and he didn't want to hear Mercedes talk about the way she planned to ignore his advice anyway.

"All right. Have fun with your dad, don't break anything." That was what Mercedes always said after she'd seen the bruise on Kurt's back that he had claimed was from a tire iron (it had, in fact, been from a locker, but she didn't need to know that). She was convinced the shop was fraught with danger.

"I won't," he promised, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek before heading for his car.

* * *

><p>Kurt wasn't as surprised as Puck had thought he would be to discover the badass lounging against his car. Puck hadn't been waiting for long, but he knew Kurt would be kind of annoyed. He wasn't sure how to explain that leaving the choir room was the only way to get a still-suspicious Quinn off of their tails.<p>

"How'd you like the number, princess?" Puck asked casually, very careful not to scuff Kurt's baby in any way. His princess would murder him.

"Honestly, Puck, I expected better of you," Kurt said with a poker face. "After all those romantic songs to the girls, you try to woo me with sex? Are you trying to get dumped before this relationship begins? Or are you just playing into the stereotype that gay men only think with their dicks?" Kurt was cracking a smile by the end of his little rant, and that let Puck breath for a moment. He tried not to dwell on the word 'relationship', and instead parried a few teases back.

"Please, like you didn't cross your legs after the first bridge." Puck stepped into Kurt's personal space. "I got you hard and you know it, princess."

Kurt swallowed audibly and looked like he needed a few seconds to compose his thoughts. Good, that's what he should do in the face of Puckzilla. "Then why aren't I hard now?" Kurt asked, but it sounded more breathy than anything.

"Probably Berry's fuckin' voice. It's like cold water," Puck said, leaning back into the car and out of Kurt's personal space. No need to get his princess' brain too scrambled. At least not right now.

"Touché," Kurt said with a smile. "And I did like your song, Noah."

"Best serenade you've ever gotten," Puck said cockily and Kurt sighed.

"Tragically, yes." Puck snorted at that. After all the dreamy talk about Lame's voice, he'd really never given him a proper serenade? Wasn't that what preppy boys did? "Well, my best proper, on-purpose, premeditated serenade," Kurt clarified, and his eyes were somewhere else.

"Princess, face it, I'm way better at that than prep boy." Puck brought up Lame carefully, but Kurt just laughed.

"Yes. Now, if you would mind getting off of my car? I have places to be." Kurt moved to step past Puck to the driver's seat. Before he could, Puck grabbed his arm and pulled him close.

"You'd rather be in the backseat with me," Puck whispered in his ear, getting in his personal space again. Puck was gone before Kurt could formulate a response.

* * *

><p>Kurt tapped his fingers nervously against the kitchen table, staring at his slightly-steaming mug of warm milk. He couldn't sleep, and he knew exactly why. Luckily, he had nothing important in school tomorrow, because he would be too tired to function in the morning. Coffee was a god.<p>

"Parental instincts are a bitch," Burt announced as he took the seat across from Kurt. The sudden voice in the silence made Kurt jump. If he'd been holding his milk, it would have spilled. "Why should I lose sleep just because my only idiot son is worried about his dad with a bad boy?" he continued, and Kurt snickered softly. Only his dad.

"Would you like something to drink?" Kurt asked. "If you can't sleep until I can, you might be up for a while."

"I'll get it, kiddo." His dad went straight for the Keurig. "So, what's troubling you?"

"Alarmingly, your surprisingly sassy guess was right," Kurt said, amused. "I'm worried about my date with Noah."

"If that kid does anything to upset you, I'll shoot him," Burt said immediately, and that wasn't exactly the kind of comfort Kurt was looking for.

"I'm not worried about Noah upsetting me. It's just going to be different from the kind of dates I'm used to. I don't know where we're going, Noah's not out, I don't know what to expect, and Noah is one hundred percent Blaine's opposite." Burt sighed as the coffee maker started percolating.

"What do you want me to say, kiddo? Dates are supposed to be a little bit scary." Kurt was about to point out how unhelpful that was when Burt continued. "Not everything's gonna be different, buddy. He's still picking you up, I'm still threatening him, he's going to take you to a restaurant or a movie or something-"

"A restaurant," Kurt supplied.

"So there's gonna be tables and chairs and people and waiters. You're both gonna order drinks and food and dessert. You'll spend a lot of it talking. He better pay. He'll bring you home. He may kiss you _once_ _on the doorstep_ before I bring out my gun. Your curfew is still eleven."

"My curfew was midnight with Blaine," Kurt said, confused.

"Exactly. I misplaced my trust in Blaine, I don't same to make the same mistake." Kurt rolled his eyes. Always so overprotective. "So, what's really going to be different?"

"Noah's not that bad, dad." When Burt didn't respond, Kurt continued, "The conversation, the tone of it and the topics, the atmosphere, the comfort level." His dad had a point though. He was worrying too much.

"If you can talk to him as a friend playing that stupid shooting game you boys like-"

"Halo," Kurt said, and then took a moment to be horrified at himself for not only knowing the name, but liking and being good at the game.

"Right. If you can talk to him as a friend, you can talk to him on a first date. First dates should really be the ones that people are least worried about," Burt said. "It's later that the worrying stuff comes into play. The expectations." His father was looking at him very pointedly, but Kurt was ignoring it.

"Please, dad, not this again. I'm not stupid enough to put out on a first date," Kurt said flatly and his dad looked a little uncomfortable but nodded.

"Good. I'll make very sure he isn't looking for you to... put out," his dad frowned at the term, "on the first date anyway."

"Dad," Kurt said, getting his father's attention. "Please don't scare him away. I really like him."

"I know. Only God knows _why_, but I know." Kurt ignored the reference to a mythical creature. "But if he lets a frail old man like me scare him off, he's a spineless prick." Kurt couldn't help but laugh at that.

"You're not that old, dad, and if you listened to me you'd be a little less frail." Burt, as usual, ignored the part of the sentence he didn't like.

"I'm old enough to have a seventeen-year-old kid. That's pretty old, buddy." Kurt giggled. "You should get some sleep, you have school tomorrow."

"I'm about to go up to bed." Kurt smirked. "Good luck sleeping with that coffee."

"What, this coffee that I didn't drink?" Kurt peered over and realized the cup was still full. "I figured I'd have you comforted soon enough for you to get your beauty sleep and me to not need this. Get to bed." Kurt smiled. Typical dad.

Kurt got up from the table to give his dad a firm hug. No matter how unhappy he was about Kurt's particular choice of date for tomorrow, his dad was always there for him. "I love you, dad."

"Love you too, kiddo."

Kurt could hear the coffee being poured into the sink as he headed upstairs. He would need that beauty sleep. After all, he had a date tomorrow.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: YEAHHH! I did it! Half the chapter is like totally done! Go, celebrate, sign off, grab a beer, take a pee break. Act II is next, and it totally kicks Act I's ass!**

**Sorry, Rock of Ages has this effect on me. No underage drinking, people.**

**Anyway, I hope you liked this long part of the chapter. Yes, Act II will kick Act I's ass, considering it has Puck and Kurt's date and many more surprises in store. This was a lot of set-up for a lot of things, and pretty song heavy. Sorry.**

**Songs used/mentioned:  
><strong>_'A Tough Act to Follow'_ from _Curtains_ (**Jesse**, _Rachel_, _**Both**_)  
><em>Lucky <em>by Jason Mraz & Colbie Caillat (mentioned)  
><em>Tonight<em> by FM Static (mentioned)  
><em>'Static'<em> by Everlife  
><em>'Sorry'<em> by Buckcherry  
><em>'Yesterday'<em> by the Beatles  
><em>'My Everything' <em>written by the lovely Rockstar and found at: answers(.)yahoo(.)com(/)question(/)index(?)qid(=)20110526170627AAO60rp  
><em>Holding Out For a Hero <em>from _Footloose_ (mentioned)  
><em>Don't Stop Me Now<em> by Queen (mentioned)  
><em>Top of the World<em> by The Carpenters (mentioned)  
><em>New York Groove<em> by KISS (mentioned)  
><em>Sit Down, You're Rocking the Boat<em> from _Guys and Dolls_ (mentioned)  
><em>'Cruisin''<em> by Smokey Robinson (but think the Gwenyth Paltrow and Huey Lewis version from _Duets_) (**Mike**, _Tina_, _**Both**_)  
><em>'SexyBack'<em> by Justin Timberlake feat. Timbaland

**Reviews are Love and encourage faster writing.**


	16. Positoovity Act II

**A/N: Hi there! Ready for Puckurt's date? I know I am. Once again: Blaine = ability to move plot. He goes away. I promise.**

* * *

><p>Kurt hadn't gotten enough sleep to be <em>happy<em> as he did his skin routine in the morning, but he was definitely excited... and apprehensive. His dad had done a wonderful job comforting him the night before, but he still had qualms about his date with Puck.

Kurt hummed _Kiss Me_ to himself as he got ready, thinking about the mind-blowing kiss Puck had given him on Sunday. Brittany's kisses had made him more uncomfortable than anything, he didn't even want to _think_ about the kiss with Karofsky, and with Blaine, well, they had caused little butterflies to flutter around in his stomach, as cliché as it was. All of the kisses he'd had before had nothing on Puck's, which made Kurt's head spin and his knees go weak (ignoring, once again, the cliché). He was looking forward to more (one, realistically, tonight. He took his dad's threat of pulling out his shot gun very seriously).

His phone buzzed just as he was finishing his morning routine. Kurt picked it up, secretly hoping it was Puck but knowing realistically the jock would have nothing to say to him this early in the morning, and was extremely disappointed to see the name _Blaine_ flashing across the screen. The Warbler knew him well enough to know that he would be moisturizing at this time of the morning, which meant Blaine actually wanted to talk to him, rather than leaving a message.

Kurt debated for three more rings whether he wanted to be polite and answer to phone, or if he was still mad at his ex for insulting Puck the last time they had talked and wasn't going to answer it. Kurt sighed, and picked up his phone at the fifth ring.

"I haven't had coffee yet and I'm mad at you, so if you say anything that upsets me, I'm hanging up," Kurt warned without greeting Blaine.

"Good morning to you, too," Blaine said, which was a bit annoying, but his tone was neutral so it didn't _really_ warrant Kurt hanging up on him. "I'm sorry."

"You should be," Kurt added before Blaine could get any more of his apology out.

"And I am. Whatever is going on between you and Puck is none of my business. Honestly, I don't know him outside of the stories you've told me, and, considering you previously cast him in a negative light, I assumed the worst of him. People aren't always what they seem though, and you're usually a pretty good judge of character." Blaine was silent for a few moments. "Well, I guess you're not. You picked me."

"How long did you have to practice that speech to make it sound as articulate as it did?" Kurt asked, and Blaine laughed. Both of them knew that whenever Blaine was trying to have a serious conversation he became the most awkward person. Kurt couldn't count how many awkward pauses there had been in the speech Blaine gave him when he was first telling Kurt he liked him.

"I'm reading it off a piece of paper," Blaine admitted bashfully, and they both laughed. Kurt couldn't stay mad at Blaine for long (something Blaine had taken advantage of in the past, _frequently_), and he could tell Blaine really was sorry.

"You're not that bad," Kurt addressed the last part of his apology, "and neither is Noah. I'm not saying you two would get along, but I don't think you would kill each other."

"Unless it was over you," Blaine added softly.

"Blaine..." Kurt didn't know what to say to that. He believed that his ex-boyfriend still had feelings for him, but Blaine had broken his heart so thoroughly no trace of that loving affection remained for Kurt.

"In a protective sort of way, I mean." Blaine lied to make it less awkward. Kurt knew he was lying and Blaine knew that Kurt knew he was lying.

"Right," Kurt said quietly, and the conversation died for a moment. "I'm going on a date with him tonight." Kurt wasn't sure why he had felt compelled to say that.

"I'm glad. I really am happy for you, Kurt. I hope he doesn't manage to screw up as royally as I did." Blaine was clearly making light of the past, but it was a little too early for that.

"Actually, Puck has this way of dramatically screwing things up worse than even you," Kurt replied, thinking of juvie and what had happened with Drizzle (out of respect to his step-brother's and quasi-boyfriend's feelings, he had always and _would_ always call her Drizzle).

"Dear God, how it that possible?" Blaine said with a chuckle, and Kurt thought how nice it was to be able to talk to his friend again.

"I'm not entirely sure." Kurt paused before wondering if courtesy frowned upon his next question. "What about you?"

"What about me?" Blaine asked, confused. Kurt could picture the way his brow would furrow and his mouth would pout slightly.

"Any.. guys in your life?" Kurt asked, trying to be as gentle about the question as possible. Why had he asked?

"No, not exactly." Blaine sounded reluctant to talk about it. "I have to go, you know how early breakfast is around here, and I'm sure you have plenty of primping to do for your date." Blaine was teasing slightly, and Kurt knew the smile that went with his tone well. "I.. Goodbye, Kurt. I missed you."

"I missed you too," Kurt admitted, not afraid to say it outright as he had been the first time they had talked. "We'll talk soon, okay?"

"Yeah, bye." His phone made no sound as the call disconnected. Kurt smiled and placed his iPhone on his desk, checking his reflection in the mirror one last time before heading up for breakfast. It was already a good day, and it was only going to get better.

* * *

><p>All day Puck had been throwing his little winks and touching him as much as possible, in subtle and not-so-subtle ways, and it was driving Kurt absolutely crazy. The sudden touchiness was also arousing suspicion in Mercedes, who had demanded at least three times an hour all day to know exactly what was going on between Kurt and Puck, and not always in private. Kurt had ignored all of these demands, and Mercedes was getting increasingly frustrated.<p>

Kurt had also been getting increasingly excited and nervous in equal measures all day and was looking forward to singing out his feelings with Rachel by his side. Speaking of Rachel, whatever argument she and Jesse had been engaged in, they had not solved it, and Kurt ended up saddled with much of her complaining throughout the day as she pointedly ignored and avoided her boyfriend. Kurt wouldn't have allowed this if she hadn't been doing a favor for him in Glee club.

By the time Glee club swung around, Kurt was just ready for the day to be _over_. He wanted to primp and dress for his date, go out, have fun, and leave all the drama caused by Rachel's love affairs behind him.

Mr. Schue began with his usual enthusiastic greeting that Kurt ignored. Rachel had claimed the seat on one side of him, and Mercedes on the other, but the all three seats behind the trio were empty. Why was Puck sitting across the room next to Quinn? Rachel was talking eagerly in his ear, but Kurt had tuned most of what she was saying out. Did the diva really expect Kurt to help her with her problems when her very existence was hurting his brother? She was seriously deranged if she did.

"Mr. Schue, I would like to try my hand at an original song," Tina offered, and Mr. Schue turned one of his million-watt, 'I'm-so-proud-a-student-is-breaking-out-of-their-shell' smiles on her and agreed quickly.

"This is for Mike. I love you, Mikey." Kurt heard and ignored Sam, Artie, and Puck making fake gagging noises at the nickname as the music began. It was mostly piano, which had Kurt wondering why she didn't just play it herself, unless she thought a serenade was more romantic when the serenader was staring down the serenaded.

_The fire warms, my face and our hands  
>I look up at you, you're looking down<br>I snuggle closer, the warmth growing  
>The fire raging, our faces glowing<br>Our tent lies cold, shadowed by the trees  
>Its not where we are going to sleep<br>The stars are above us, the gentle breeze  
>Huddled close, sat on our knees<br>The fire beside us, as we play our guitars  
>Tonight we will camp under the stars<em>

_Look at the sky, look at the clouds  
>The stars still hanging with the crowd<br>Just hold me close, keep me warm  
>As we talk together, in verse form<br>Focus the image, use the camera lens  
>Capture this memory we became more than friends<em>

Tina's performance was a snippet of a song, but had more... potential than Quinn's attempt had. The song was incredibly cheesy (and the three who had been making fun at the nickname sure had a lot to say about that), but was also incredibly sweet, and obviously connected to the fact that they had fallen in love at (Kurt had no better name for it, the only person he'd ever heard mention it was Artie) Asian camp.

"That was great, Tina, very moving, but not complete enough to move a crowd at Nationals." Mr. Schue clapped his hands eagerly as Tina walked back to her seat, looking a little bit annoyed. "Anyone else have anything? The amount of original songs and positive energy that we've been getting so far is great, guys."

"I have something original, but it's lame," Santana said with a snort. Kurt was pretty sure that she had meant for it to be a private comment, but Mr. Schue had clearly heard it.

"That's all right, Santana, try it out." Santana glared at the teacher as she took to the front of the room.

"I'll take a lesson from all the boys Kurt screwed last semester and sing it a cappella. Doesn't have music anyway." Kurt rolled his eyes at the comment about the Warblers. Everyone seemed to think an all-boys' school was a gay male's version of heaven.

_Sitting by the windowsill dreaming of you  
>The great times we had together and your smile too<br>I keep playing back memories of you in my head  
>And everything between us that went unsaid<br>_

_I love you, I miss you  
>The sound of your voice by my side<br>My life without you is like the ocean without the tide  
>With you gone a piece of my heart is missing<br>And I'm missing you_

_Everything I see and do  
>Reminds me too much of you<br>Even you and I didn't know if we were friends or together,  
>All I know is when I'm with you my heart's as light as a feather<em>

_I love you, I miss you  
>The sound of your voice by my side<br>My life without you is like the ocean without the tide  
>With you gone a piece of my heart is missing<br>And I'm missing you_

_Yeah, Oh, oh  
>Yeah, I love you, I miss you<br>The sound of your voice by my side  
>My life without you is like the ocean without the tide<br>With you gone a piece of my heart is missing  
>And I'm missing you<em>

_I love you, I miss you  
>The sound of your voice by my side<br>My life without you is like the ocean without the tide  
>With you gone a piece of my heart is missing<br>And I'm missing you  
>(Woah ohhh)<em>

_With you gone a piece of my heart is missing  
>And I'm missing you<br>Missing you  
>I just can't stop missing you<em>

Santana looked more annoyed than anything else for the duration of the song, but the words were sweet, poignant, longing, and perfect. Santana also pointedly _didn't_ look at Brittany, another amateur mistake to be made when one's trying to hide to whom a song is directed. This sounded more like Santana had intended to sing it for Brittany in private, but once Mr. Schue latched on to a performance it was futile to resist giving it.

"Happy?" Santana practically snarled before heading back to her seat.

"That was great, Santana, but perhaps a little too... personal for Nationals. Now, we have to cut our practice short for today." The reason for this was a date Mr. Schue had with Miss Pillsbury, but he wasn't willing to admit that to his students. Clearly, he didn't understand how fast word traveled at the school. "Kurt and Rachel requested to be the last performance, so I think this is about that time."

The two divas stood and headed for the front of the room, Kurt strutting and Rachel bouncing as much as walking. "This song," Rachel began, and Kurt didn't begrudge her the introduction, "goes out to _nobody_." This was obviously supposed to hurt Jesse's feelings, but he didn't seem too concerned. She was smirking in the same way she had done to Finn during _Gives You Hell_ last year as she started the song.

**Where have all good men gone  
>And where are all the gods?<br>**_Where's the street-wise Hercules  
>To fight the rising odds?<em>

**Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?  
>Late at night I toss and turn and dream of what I need<strong>

_**I need a hero!**_

_Somewhere after midnight  
>In my wildest fantasy<br>_**Somewhere just beyond my reach  
>There's someone reaching back for me<strong>

_Racing on the thunder and rising with the heat  
>It's gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet<em>

_**I need a hero  
>I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night<br>**He's gotta be strong  
><em>**And he's gotta be fast  
><strong>_**And he's gotta be fresh from the fight**_

_**I need a hero  
>I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light<br>**He's gotta be sure  
><em>**And it's gotta be soon  
><strong>_**And he's gotta be larger than life!**_

**Up where the mountains meet the heavens above  
>Out where the lightning splits the sea<br>I would swear that there's someone somewhere  
>Watching me<strong>

_Through the wind and the chill and the rain  
>And the storm and the flood<br>I can feel his approach  
>Like a fire in my blood<em>

_**I need a hero  
>I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night<br>**He's gotta be strong  
><em>**And he's gotta be fast  
><strong>_**And he's gotta be fresh from the fight**_

_**I need a hero  
>I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light<br>**He's gotta be sure  
><em>**And it's gotta be soon  
><strong>_**And he's gotta be larger than life!**_

_**I need a hero!**_

If Kurt ever had to give a compliment to Rachel, he would say she was an excellent performer. She was amazing, even though she was crazy, and she managed to pour out all her anger at both Jesse and Finn. Kurt still had a little anger about Blaine to get out, and this song was the perfect way to give Puck some standards. He needed his street-wise Superman to be sure of what he was doing. Plus, there were some suggestive lines (well, lines he could _make_ suggestive). It was Puck, after all.

Jesse had a frown on his face as Rachel and Kurt flounced right past him and sat down. Mercedes gave them both high-fives (though Kurt could tell she was a little hurt not to be included) as Mr. Schue complimented their performance, made some lame excuse as to why Glee was ending early, and hurriedly dismissed them.

Rachel was clinging to Kurt's arm as he left, so he didn't get the chance to stop and ask Puck's opinion on his performance, but he wasn't worried. After all, this wouldn't be the last time he saw Puck before Monday.

Puck seemed to remember this too, as he commented, "See you later, princess," from across the room as he left with Finn. Mercedes gave him an accusing look, Quinn gave him a worried one, and Kurt could see that Finn asked Puck something as they left.

"What does that mean?" Quinn and Mercedes asked in sync.

"Who knows?" Kurt asked, trying to avoid lying. "Maybe he's coming over to play Halo with Finn or something and he expects me to join them," or maybe not, but the girls didn't need to know. Mercedes tended to have a big mouth, and he was surprised Quinn didn't already know, but either way Puck was uncomfortable with people knowing, so Kurt wouldn't say anything, no matter how much he wanted to.

* * *

><p>It was six fifteen, and Kurt was freaking out. What was appropriate for one to wear on a first date to a restaurant they had never been to before, with a boy who was very casual no matter what, and when he was trying not to attract attention? Kurt wasn't even sure there <em>was<em> an outfit appropriate for their situation, but he had to try. He had a quarter of an hour before Puck arrived and all he needed to do was change, because his fourteenth look was _not_ working for him.

Kurt frowned as he looked at the shirt in front of him. Yes, it would perfectly complete his outfit and provide a small pop of color, but it was also technically a woman's shirt... Deciding it was worth the risk, Kurt slipped on his Alexander Wang shirt, a pair of dark jeans from Dolce & Gabbana, and a Jimmy Choo boot. Kurt took one look in the mirror and nodded approvingly. Not too noticeable, but not too casual.

Kurt was about to second-guess himself again when a voice from upstairs called, "Kurt, there was a knock on the door. If it's the punk you've decided to date and I get to the door first, I'll shoot him." He wasn't sure how much of the sentence was a joke, and he wasn't about to find out, so Kurt rushed up the stairs, grabbing his Dolce & Gabbana pea coat on the way up and deciding his outfit would have to do.

Kurt was all the way to the door when he realized his dad hadn't even made an attempt to get up. Rolling his eyes, Kurt patted a stray strand of hair back into place and put on his pea coat before answering the door.

"Hello, Noah," he said in greeting to the jock standing awkwardly on his porch, hands shoved in his pockets. "Nice to see you, you look great, let's go," Kurt said quickly, practically pushing Puck back down the steps.

"Wait," his dad's voice commanded from inside.

"Shoot," Puck mumbled under his breath. Clearly, Puck was about as eager to meet his father as Kurt was to introduce him.

It was only a few seconds before his dad appeared, looking menacing. At least he didn't have his gun. Burt looked Puck up and down for a moment, and Kurt was extremely glad Puck had put effort into his appearance. Non-ripped medium blue jeans, a nice button-down shirt, and nice shoes (probably synagogue shoes). His mohawk was freshly trimmed. Even his truck looked nicer than normal (which was a great accomplishment. What Kurt wouldn't do to have an hour with that garbage heap and his tool box).

"Fine. Scram," was all Burt said, but Kurt took an out when he saw one.

"Bye, dad. Don't stay up," Kurt said, practically dragging Puck away.

"You wish, bud." Burt stayed on the doorstep.

"Your dad's a scary man," Puck whispered once he was confident Burt couldn't hear them. Kurt laughed as quietly as he could.

"He didn't even threaten your life, and he's not holding his gun. This is him being nice," Kurt said with a little smile. All his dad really wanted was for him to be happy.

"Great," Puck said, rolling his eyes. Kurt was confused when Puck headed for the passenger side.

"Am I driving?" Kurt had an idea of how to get to Marion, but he had no idea where Infinity Restaurant was. Maybe Puck would direct him.

"Nope," Puck said. Directly contrasting to his words, he opened the passenger door. Kurt only understood when Puck pointedly looked at him and waved a hand towards the seat.

"Oh," Kurt said with an awkward laugh, hoping the barely-there sunlight wasn't enough to show his blush. Kurt hopped into the passenger side, glad Puck's truck wasn't much farther off the ground than his Navigator.

Burt continued to stand on the doorstep and watch them until Puck's truck had turned the corner.

* * *

><p>"So, how far away is Marion?" Kurt asked to break the tension. He and Puck had been sitting in a not-entirely-comfortable silence for a good ten minutes.<p>

"About an hour and twenty minutes," Puck answered. Obviously not a good conversation starter. "Want me to put on some music?" he asked, looking as awkward as Kurt felt.

"Sure," Kurt replied.

"Let's see if we can agree on anything," Puck mumbled, and Kurt laughed.

"Speaking of music, how did you like my performance today?" Kurt asked slyly.

"Much better than the rest of the crap we had to listen to." Puck snorted and Kurt giggled. As much as he loved Tina and tolerated Santana, no one's attempts at writing songs were turning out very well. Were they this bad when he was at Dalton? "Even I can write shit better than that."

"You write songs?" Kurt asked, because he couldn't exactly picture Puck strumming out a soulful ballad on his guitar in a dark room with candles.

"Not ones I share, princess," Puck said pointedly. "Anyway, asking me to be your hero might be a little much."

"I should have asked you to be my Prince Charming considering you insist on calling me that." Kurt rolled his eyes.

"You love it," Puck said, giving Kurt his signature smirk.

"May I stress once again that I am _not_ female?" Puck chuckled. As if he could forget.

"Already knew that," Puck said, turning to give Kurt a wink.

"Look at the road! I will not become a smear on the highway because you insist on flirting with me." Kurt did _not_ desire to die a violent death, thank you very much.

"Don't want me to call you a woman?" Kurt nodded. "Then stop acting like one! It's fine." Puck didn't need another nagging female, even if this one was technically male. Kurt huffed.

"Just because I don't want my blood on the pavement doesn't mean I'm a woman," he murmured, but let the spat settle. "I love this song," Kurt said as _Call Me Maybe_ came on whatever mixed radio station Puck had chosen.

"I hate this song," Puck said with a roll of his eyes, changing the station. Kurt huffed. Again. Apparently, this date wasn't going to be as easy as he'd believed. What did he and Puck have in common?

"I'm going to kill Rachel," Kurt announced, and Puck snorted.

"She looked even crazier than usual today, and that's saying somethin'," Puck replied, and Kurt smiled to himself. Common ground.

"She and Jesse are having problems, as we all knew they would, and she's been clinging to me like a leech."

"You could just tell her to fuck off," Puck offered.

"No," Kurt said with a sigh. "As her friend I'm obligated to support her, even if I really want to just scream '_dump him already'_ over and over again at her until she listens."

"Crazy ass chicks and their codes," Puck mumbled, and Kurt tried to ignore the fact that he was lumped with 'chicks'.

"Like you guys don't have a 'bro code'?" Kurt asked. Maybe _he_ didn't do such a good job of lumping himself with the guys either.

"Course, but the bro code's easy," was all Puck said in response, and the conversation died again.

"Noah?" Kurt asked, and Puck grunted what Kurt would guess was an affirmative. "What was 'the Justin Beiber Experience'?"

"The gayest thing I have ever done in my life," Puck said, "besides you of course."

"Oh ha ha." Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Sam decided to do the little fairy's music to impress Quinn, and when we all realize it worked, we all were somehow infected." Puck's tone didn't sound found.

"Beiber Fever," Kurt said with a laugh and Puck glared at him in the mirror.

"Yeah, well, the only one who was still sane was Finn," Puck said begrudgingly and Kurt smiled.

"I think this is the first time I've been proud to be related to him." Not true, of course, but Kurt knew it would make Puck laugh, and it did.

"We only did two songs, it wasn't that bad," Puck muttered and Kurt laughed.

"What songs?" Kurt asked, just to mess with Puck a little bit more.

"Sam did _Baby_ to impress Quinn, and we all did _Somebody to Love_." Kurt cracked up laughing, leaning his head against the passenger side window. "All right, laugh it up, Hummel. It seemed like a good idea."

"And how did that turn out?" Kurt squeezed out among his laughter.

"Shitty," Puck mumbled, and Kurt laughed some more. "Says the one who likes _Twilight_!" Puck added and Kurt gasped.

"How did you know that?"

"Finn." Puck smirked.

"Betrayal," Kurt whispered, making Puck chuckle.

"I sang one song by the princess of pop, and you are obsessed with a guy who looks like a motherfuckin' _foot_. I win, princess." Puck smirked.

"If you ever call both me and Justin Beiber 'princess' in the same sentence again, I will castrate you," Kurt promised. "And Edward Cullen doesn't look like a foot."

"Right," Puck said disbelievingly.

"Well, he's not supposed to! It's not _my_ fault the movies stink!" Kurt said, banging his hand and whimpering as he did. That wasn't supposed to hurt _him_.

"Smooth move, princess." Surprisingly, Puck grabbed his hand and kissed it better before Kurt could reply. Kurt tried his hardest not to blush, but he knew he was red.

"All books turned into movies stink," Kurt muttered.

"Just look at Harry Potter." Kurt gaped at him. "What? I _can_ read, princess."

"I just didn't think you had the attention span to," Kurt replied, shaking his head to clear it.

"Oh ha ha." Puck rolled his eyes and Kurt grinned.

* * *

><p>By the time they had reached Marion, Kurt had discovered a ton of things he had in common with Puck. A sense of humor, a love of <em>Harry Potter<em> and _House_, and the ability to take a joke. Kurt had more fun talking to Puck than he did chatting with his girls, which was saying something. It didn't hurt that Puck had been extremely flirty all the way down.

"257, 259, 261," Puck muttered to himself as he looked for the restaurant. Kurt took the time to look around Marion, not that it was worth the effort. Every town in Ohio kind of looked the same, and downtown Marion seemed no different than downtown Lima. "267," Puck said triumphantly, pulling into the parking lot of the Hotel Harding. "I think it's inside."

"Or you got the address wrong," Kurt teased, but Puck ignored him, getting out of the car. Kurt paused for a moment to see if Puck was going to open his door, but when Puck turned around at the hood and raised an eyebrow, it was clear he wasn't.

Kurt slid out of his seat and headed for the hotel with Puck by his side. He was kind of proud that Puck wasn't looking around for people that might catch them (not that he expected him to), but the parking lot was mostly empty of people.

Sure enough, Puck hadn't actually forgotten the address, but the restaurant was the first thing they saw when they walked into the hotel.

"How may I help you?" the girl at the entrance asked politely, but she looked bored.

"Reservation for Puckerman," Puck replied. Kurt tried not to be jealous as he gave the girl (about their age) an up-and-down, but he didn't look particularly interested, so the countertenor let it go.

"Right this way." The girl lead them through the restaurant, and outside to a terrace surrounded by a beautiful garden. She lead them to a rather secluded two person table and placed two menus on the table. "Enjoy your meal; your server should be right with you," she recited in monotone.

"Wow, robotic much?" Puck asked when the girl was out of earshot, sitting down and not bothering to pull out Kurt's chair. Kurt mentally reminded himself not to compare Blaine and Puck, to have no expectations, and sat down across from him. Maybe Puck had only been romantic for his father's benefit.

"Well, I imagine her job must be pretty boring," Kurt said, looking around. "This place is beautiful." There were all sorts of flowers in all colors and trees with vines and buds hanging down surrounding them, almost making a curtain between some of the table.

"They have a bunch of dining rooms, but I thought this one would be cool," Puck said casually. Kurt smiled to himself. So Puck was shy about being romantic? Didn't mean he was any less so.

"They have everything," Kurt commented, looking at the menu. They had seafood, pasta, salads, burgers, sandwiches, soup, everything he could think of.

"Yeah." Puck was smirking at the menu. "I bet they'd serve me alcohol here."

"I bet not." Puck looked willing to challenge that. "I think at al classy place like this, they would at least ask," Kurt clarified. "Plus, if your breath smells like a brewery, I won't kiss you," Kurt challenged and Puck pouted.

"Unfair," he said, but he turned the page, clearly giving up on his alcohol plan.

The waitress (Amanda) came over and got their drink order, Kurt ordering water with lemon and Puck's Dr. Pepper.

"What are you getting, princess?" Puck asked once Amanda had left. Kurt rolled his eyes at the nickname.

"Grilled Chicken Salad with a raspberry vinaigrette," Kurt replied. There was plenty on the menu that he would eat normally, but he knew they piled calories on in restaurants.

"Seriously?" Puck asked. "You eat like a damn bird! Live a little." Kurt rolled his eyes again. "Why don't you try like the asparagus chicken or something?"

"They wrap it in bacon," Kurt replied. "You don't get to pick out what I eat, Noah."

"If you let me suggest something for you, you can pick for me," Puck said with a raised eyebrow, and Kurt smiled.

"Deal." Puck was going to be eating a lot healthier than he normally did, and he knew it.

"Chicken Marsala?" Puck asked, and Kurt looked it over.

"Acceptable," Kurt decided, still looking through the menu. Kurt wouldn't be _too_ evil picking out Puck's foot. "Oh! Wait. Do I need to worry about kosher or...?" Kurt was glad he had thought of it.

"Nah, I'm a bad Jew," Puck replied, and Kurt went back to his search.

"Pork with Sesame Ginger?" Kurt asked, and Puck shrugged.

"Sounds good."

When the waitress came over, Kurt ordered the Chicken Marsala and raspberry vinaigrette with his included salad. Puck ordered the Pork Tenderloin with Sesame Ginger Glaze (getting a surprised look from Amanda) and ranch with his salad.

"Did you look up your fortune cookie quote?" Kurt asked as he wracked his brain for topics.

"Yeah, it was some lame love thing by some dude named Louis that I'd never heard of. It was like _'Love is made by two people, in different kinds of solitude. It can be in a crowd, but in an oblivious crowd'_." Puck sounded indifferent, but Kurt thought it was kind of appropriate, considering they were out on a covert date.

"That's better than my bizarre Streisand one," Kurt pointed out and Puck chuckled.

"Yeah, I guess." Puck's phone buzzed under the table. "Um.."

"Get it," Kurt said, hoping it wasn't some girl.

"Nah, it's just Quinnilla." Puck put his phone back in his pocket without opening it.

"Do you know what's been up with her lately?" Kurt asked, because Puck seemed to know Quinn better than he did. "She's been acting odd, like she's trying to keep you away from me."

"Oh yeah, that." For a second Kurt thought he was going to leave it at that. "She's annoyed that I'm not telling her anything. She doesn't even know we're out tonight."

"Does she know you're..." Kurt paused. What was Puck classified as?

"Hummelsexual? Yeah." Kurt snorted in surprise, embarrassed as soon as it happened. The term was hilarious.

"OhmiGod, I can't believe I just snorted in front of you," Kurt said, hiding his face in one hand.

"It was cute," Puck said, and he sounded surprised but sincere.

"So, Hummelsexual?" Kurt asked, knowing he was still red. Puck nodded with a chuckle. "Does that include my dad and Finn?" he asked with a smirk and Puck widened his eyes in horror.

"No!" Kurt died laughing. "Fine. Kurtsexual." Puck pouted. "Doesn't have the same ring to it."

"Most people would just say questioning. Leave it to _you _to come up with a whole new category of sexuality," Kurt said with a giggle.

"That's just how I roll, babe," Puck said with a smirk, leaning back in his chair in a sprawled-out pose.

Kurt got a little annoyed at the up-and-down Amanda gave Puck when she arrived with their food. "Can I get you anything else?" she asked, looking directly at Puck's crotch.

"No thank you," Kurt said with an insincere smile. "My _boyfriend_ and I are fine." Amanda backed off and flushed.

"All right. Enjoy your meal. You two make a really cute couple," she squeaked, obviously very embarrassed, before scuttling off.

"Your boyfriend?" Puck asked, and then _Kurt_ was the one flushing in embarrassment.

"She was staring at you," Kurt defended himself weakly.

"Chicks do that," Puck said, clearly waving the issue away.

"Sorry," Kurt mumbled, not feeling very sorry.

"Your boyfriend, huh?" Puck asked again. "I'm not sure how I feel about that."

"Noah, I didn't mean..." Kurt said, but he wasn't sure how to finish that sentence. Did he want Puck to be his boyfriend? Of course. Did he think Puck was ready to be his boyfriend? Not really. Did he want a boyfriend he had to huddle in the closet with? No.

"It's cool," Puck said with a shrug, but awkwardness hung over them like it had when Puck first picked Kurt up.

"I'm sorry," Kurt said honestly. "I know you're still unsure about... if not your feelings for me, then whether or not you're going to be able to act on them. I'm not trying to push you into anything."

"And I bet everyone would think I would be the one trying to push you into things," Puck said with a seductive tone to his voice. Kurt ignored it and laughed.

"I suppose life will never be what anyone expects it to," Kurt said, and the atmosphere had returned to normal.

From that point on the date was mostly small talk. Both boys ate, Puck entertaining Kurt with stories about the ways his little sister created mischief. Apparently she'd picked up a lot of habits from when Santana was around, and Quinn couldn't seem to cure her of them. Puck ordered Infinity's signature chocolate cake and Kurt got Infinity's signature banana split in petite size. They ended up stealing a few bites of each others, but not feeding them to one another.

The only remaining thing left was the check, and Amanda awkwardly looked between them when she delivered it before placing it in the middle of the table and leaving it to them. Thinking Puck really had only done the romantic thing for his father's sake, Kurt reached for the check only for it to be snatched out from under his hand.

"Nuh-uh. Dude pays." Keeping the check on his lap as if Kurt was going to try and grab it, Puck pulled out his wallet and tried to be all sneaky so Kurt couldn't see how much it was.

"I'll say it again: I'm male as well," Kurt said, but he didn't particularly feel like fighting to pay the check.

"But _I_ asked_ you_ out. So, I'm the proverbial dude, and you're the proverbial chick. I pay." Puck put the check back on the table with money on it, but put it far enough away that Kurt wouldn't be able to reach it even if he wanted to.

* * *

><p>The ride back to Kurt's was as comfortable as the ride to. Puck pulled into Kurt's street and looked over at him. Kurt knew his dad was watching through the window, but didn't care as Puck leaned over the console and kissed him, pulling him close with a hand around the waist, coming to rest on his lower back, and clutched a hand in his hair.<p>

Kurt moaned as fire flooded through his body everywhere Puck touched him. This gave Puck the opportunity he was looking for to lick into his mouth. A whimper slipped out when Puck detached their lips, leaning farther across to kiss along Kurt's jaw and neck.

"Backseat?" Puck asked and an embarrassing little whine was all the answer Kurt could give.

"Noah," Kurt moaned, but the moment was broken when the front door of Kurt's house slammed shut. Burt Hummel was standing on the doorstep, looking very unimpressed and holding a shotgun.

"Oh shit," Puck said between gasps for breath. Kurt unclenched the hand that had been on the console between them and removed his other hand from where it had settled around Puck's neck.

"Noah, I..." Kurt ignored the fact that his dad was waiting to kill Puck. "Speaking of rushing people into things, I'm not comfortable with..."

"Who says I am?" Puck asked, sounding pretty defensive.

"You asked me to go to the back seat. I know that you know that Blaine and I-"

"I don't want to talk about him," Puck said firmly.

"Too bad," Kurt said, a little frustrated. "I'm not one of your sluts, Noah. I don't care how insecure you are about this, we're going at a pace we're both comfortable with. Going fast won't help anyone." Kurt hopped out of the truck before Puck could reply and walked right past his annoyed dad.

"Dammit," Puck mumbled as he drove away before Burt Hummel could approach his truck.

* * *

><p>"Kurt! Kurt Hummel!" Jacob Ben Israel in all his sliminess approached Kurt as he walked with Quinn, Rachel, and Mercedes into Glee club. "How did you end up on a secret date with McKinley's lead heartthrob?" Ben Israel stuffed his microphone in Kurt's face and the countertenor resisted the urge to snap it.<p>

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Kurt said with a roll of his eyes.

"Why does nobody read my blog?" Ben Israel whined. "It's all over the school," Jacob held up a picture that was, the Kurt's horror, a picture of Kurt and Puck in Puck's truck in front of Kurt's house, kissing.

"Once again, nice photo-shop," Kurt said coldly. "You're quite talented at it, you should consider making it into a career." Kurt tried to push past Ben Israel, but a voice stopped him.

"What the hell?" Finn yelled down the hallway. A few Cheerios giggled as Finn stomped down towards Kurt, Rachel, Quinn, Mercedes, and Ben Israel. "Is it true?" Finn demanded, showing a copy of the very same picture Ben Israel was holding to Kurt. "Is this why you were out so late Friday night?"

"There's nothing going on between me and Puck!" Kurt exclaimed, feeling a little overwhelmed by the fact that they had been caught.

"I thought I heard Puck's truck!" Finn said, ignoring him.

"White boy, what is going on?" Mercedes demanded, and Quinn looked at Kurt with pity. Quinn knew more than all of them, but even she hadn't known about the date.

"Kurt, I would have to advise you against dating Puck. As crude as I find the term, he is indeed a sex shark and he has trouble remaining faithful..." Rachel began to rant.

"I'm not involved with Noah!" Kurt said one last time, trying to protect Puck. Breaking free of the mob that was now surrounding him, Kurt headed quickly down the hall, avoiding the gazes of the still-laughing Cheerios and almost running into Puck.

"Sorry!" Kurt said, automatically shrinking away before he realized who it was.

"I'm guessing you saw that Jewfro found us out," Puck said, but he didn't sound as concerned as Kurt thought he should be.

"Puck, I am so sorry. Maybe he was in my bushes or so-" Kurt was cut off when Puck put his hands on his waist and gave him a soft chaste kiss on the lips. When Puck let him go, all Kurt could do was gape.

"We're fucked anyway, might as well face the music," Puck said with a shrug, wrapping an arm around Kurt's shoulders and heading for the choir room. "Ben Israel, scat." Puck leveled the reporter with a look and he practically ran away from where he was trying to flirt with Rachel, looking about ready to piss his pants. Puck pushed through the girls and past Finn, into the choir room.

Finn didn't give up so easily. "Get away from my brother," Finn said, pulling Puck back and making his arm slip off Kurt's shoulder.

"He's not actually your brother," Puck turned quickly, plucking Finn's hand off him, "and you have no say in who he dates."

"I'm certainly not letting him date you. No offense, bro, but your track record kind of sucks!" Finn said, pushing Puck almost into the piano.

"He's right, you know. You have no say in who I date," Kurt said coldly, coming to stand by his.. Puck.

"What the hell is wrong with you, boy?" Mercedes demanded. "Remember when we agreed we didn't need a man?"

"I didn't say I _needed_ one," Kurt replied. "What is everyone's problem with Noah?"

"The fact that he screws girls over!" Sam said from where he was already in the choir room, coming to stand by Mercedes. Their hands brushed for a moment, and everyone looked to see Mercedes' reaction, but she just made sure it didn't happen again, trying to act cool.

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm not a girl!" Kurt yelled, angry at his friends for turning against him. Quinn huffed, possibly at their immaturity, and went to sit in the bleachers, ignoring where people were taking sides.

"Why the fuck," Santana began as she stormed in, "am I hearing that _my_ Puck is with the Ice Prince?" Santana marched right up to Puck.

"I'm not _your_ Puck, Santana, and you can get your crazy ass out of here," Puck said coolly.

"You love my crazy ass," Santana yelled, grabbing at Puck, and being pushed away. "¡Jódete, Noah! ¡Jódete!" Santana grabbed Brittany's hand and stalked away, swearing under her breath in Spanish.

"Are you all done?" Kurt demanded. "Nothing you say is going to change this, so just back off!"

"What's going on here?" Mr. Schue asked as he entered, seeing Kurt and Puck leaning together, almost pushed up against the piano by an angry mob consisting of Rachel, Mercedes, Sam, and Finn. Everyone looked at each other for a moment before Puck answered.

"Nothing, Mr. Schue. We're cool." Rachel stomped over to sit across the front row from Jesse. Finn took a seat a little bit away from Quinn. Mercedes and Sam went to the back row with Santana and Brittany. Puck and Kurt sat dead center up front, Tina and Mike to their left side (closer to Rachel). Artie was stationed by the instruments.

"Whose ready to start today off?" Mr. Schue asked, and Quinn raised her hand immediately.

"I have some choice words for a few people that I think they need to hear," Quinn said, but she said it in such a sweet tone that Mr. Schue had no idea what was going to happen.

"All right then," the coach said, clapping his hands. "The floor is yours." Quinn smiled sugar sweet, and it was almost believable, dressed as she was in a cute little sundress.

The song was country, which isn't what he was expecting, but it sounded, at least in the beginning, like it could go either way.

_Forgive, sounds good  
>Forget, I'm not sure I could<br>They say time heals everything  
>But I'm still waiting<em>

Quinn shot a pointed look at Finn, then at Puck, then even at Sam.

_I'm through with doubt  
>There's nothing left for me to figure out<br>I've paid a price  
>And I'll keep paying<em>

Quinn put her hand over her stomach, clearly indicating what she meant. At the end of the verse, the tempo kicked up, and Kurt had a feeling this was were she would get out her real feelings.

_I'm not ready to make nice  
>I'm not ready to back down<br>I'm still mad as hell and  
>I don't have time to go round and round and round<br>It's too late to make it right  
>I probably wouldn't if I could<br>'Cause I'm mad as hell  
>Can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should<em>

Quinn spent the whole chorus looking at Puck, and Kurt knew what she was feeling. Somewhere inside, she still hated Puck for what had happened to her. She still blamed him for Drizzle and the fact that she lost Finn. Yet, even if she could go back and change her past with Finn or Puck, she wouldn't, because she liked where she was right then.

_I know you said  
>Can't you just get over it<br>It turned my whole word around  
>And I kind of like it<em>

_I made my bed and I sleep like a baby  
>With no regrets and I don't mind sayin'<br>It's a sad, sad story when a mother will teach her  
>daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger<br>And how in the world can the words that I said  
>send somebody so over the edge?<br>That they'd write me a letter  
>Sayin' that I better shut up and sing<br>Or my life will be over_

During the first part of the bridge, Quinn was glaring at Puck, but as she talked about pushing someone over the edge she turned to Finn with hate in her eyes. By the point she was crying, pouring emotion into the song and not even bothering to wipe her tears. Kurt would compare it to her Funk number, but it was a hundred times better. It was everything that had happened to Quinn, the perfect Queen Bee, in the last two years.

_I'm not ready to make nice  
>I'm not ready to back down<br>I'm still mad as hell and  
>I don't have time to go round and round and round<br>It's too late to make it right  
>I probably wouldn't if I could<br>'Cause I'm mad as hell  
>Can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should<em>

_I'm not ready to make nice  
>I'm not ready to back down<br>I'm still mad as hell and  
>I don't have time to go round and round and round<br>It's too late to make it right  
>I probably wouldn't if I could<br>'Cause I'm mad as hell  
>Can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should<em>

_What it is you think I should_

Now that Quinn had started she couldn't be stopped, and she poured her heart out as she glared at Finn, who was looking scared and a little bit pitiful. Puck's expression was a poker face, but he seemed to know something Kurt didn't about the song. The song slowed again as Quinn finished, still openly crying.

_Forgive, sounds good  
>Forget, I'm not sure I can<br>They say time heals everything  
>But I'm still waiting<em>

Everyone (especially Finn) sat in a stunned silence for a moment. Quinn wiped her face, and then Mike started clapping slowly, hopefully just for how amazing Quinn's performance had been. Everyone clapped, but it was obvious they were so shocked their heart wasn't in it. Kurt felt like he was clapping for her mascara, which hadn't run even a little despite the serious amount of crying she had done.

"Wow, Quinn, that was... wow," Mr. Schue said, just as stunned as everyone else, once Quinn had taken her seat. "I feel sorry for the person who has to follow that. Any volunteers?"

Santana stalked up to the front without even asking for permission. "I have a song for Puck." Santana took the microphone off the stand. "Jódete, Puckerman." Showing how horrible a Spanish teacher Mr. Schue was, he didn't react. Kurt winced once the music started. Santana was clearly _very_ angry.

_Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh  
>Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh<em>

Santana did her best to make them sound like sex noises, and the guys in the room (excepting himself and, surprisingly, Puck) were immediately paying more attention.

_Check it out  
>Going out<br>On the late night_

_Looking tight  
>Feeling nice<br>It's a cock fight_

_I can tell  
>I just know<br>That it's going down  
>Tonight<em>

_At the door we don't wait 'cause we know them  
>At the bar six shots just beginning<br>That's when dick head put his hands on me  
>But you see<em>

"This is not going to be good," Puck murmured. Santana did her best to run her hands over her body and flirt constantly, pointing to Puck at 'dick head' and making Finn snort.

_I'm not here for you entertainment  
>You don't really want to mess with me tonight<br>Just stop and take a second  
>I was fine before you walked into my life<br>'Cause you know it's over  
>Before it began<br>Keep your drink just give me the money  
>It's just you and your hand tonight<em>

_Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh  
>Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh<em>

Santana made a very explicit gesture at 'you and your hand', which made Mr. Schue blanch and Rachel blush. The following sex noises didn't help.

_Midnight  
>I'm drunk<br>I don't give a fuck_

_Wanna dance  
>By myself<br>Guess you're outta luck_

_Don't touch  
>Back up<br>I'm not the one  
>Uh, buh-bye<em>

_Listen up it's just not happening  
>You can say what you want to your boyfriend<br>Just let me have my fun  
>A'ight?<em>

Santana pointed to Kurt at 'boyfriend' with a wicked smirk.

_I'm not here for your entertainment  
>You don't really want to mess with me tonight<br>Just stop and take a second  
>I was fine before you walked into my life<br>'Cause you know it's over  
>Before it began<br>Keep you drink just give me the money  
>It's just you and your hand tonight<em>

_Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh  
>Break, break it, break it down<em>

_In the corner with your boys you bet 'em five bucks  
>You'd get the girl who just walked in but she thinks you suck<br>We didn't get all dressed up just for you to see  
>Quit spillin' your drinks on me, yeah<em>

_You know who you are  
>High fivin', talkin' shit, but you're going home alone, aren't cha?<em>

_Cause I'm not here for your entertainment  
>You don't really want to mess with me tonight<br>Just stop and take a second  
>I was fine before you walked into my life<br>'Cause you know it's over  
>Before it began<br>Keep your drink just give me the money  
>It's just you and your hand tonight<br>Just you and your hand_

_I'm not here for your entertainment_

_No, no, no  
>You don't really want to mess with me tonight<br>Just stop and take a second  
>I was fine before you walked into my life<br>'Cause you know it's over  
>Before it began<br>Keep your drink just give me the money  
>It's just you and your hand tonight<br>_

_Yeah, oh_

"Have fun with your boyfriend," Santana said with a smirk as she strutted back to her seat, leaving a very shocked Mr. Schue to think of something to say.

"Santana, that was very inappropriate." Santana scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"Please, that's about as inappropriate as the fact that whenever Rachel sings she looks at whatever guy she's dating at the time like she wants to make babies with them right there." Kurt tried hard not to laugh. She had a point.

"What happened to _positivity_, guys?" Mr. Schue asked. When no one answered, he said, "Fine. I'm tempted to cut you guys off for today, considering we've had two performances that did not fit the theme and one that was totally inappropriate," Santana blew him a kiss, "but does anyone else have anything?"

"I do," Rachel said. "And it fits the theme, I promise. And of course, it's totally appropriate." Kurt could tell that Rachel hadn't liked Santana's performance any more than Puck had, and Quinn looked about ready to kill her.

The first thing Kurt noticed as Rachel took the stage and whispered her song name to Brad was her outfit. She was wearing form-fitting jeans (light, so that her dark shirt wouldn't be too much), silver flats, and a black shirt emblazoned with three silver hearts (one on her chest and one on each wrist). She wore a simple silver belt over her shirt, around her hips. It was so unlike her it was a little concerning. He hadn't noticed when she'd been yelling at him, but he noticed now.

_I don't know what I want, so don't ask me  
>'Cause I'm still tryin' to figure it out<br>Don't know what's down this road, I'm just walking  
>Trying to see through the rain coming down<em>

_Even though I'm not the only one  
>Who feels the way I do<em>

_I'm alone, on my own, and that's all I know  
>I'll be strong, I'll be wrong, oh but life goes on<br>Oh, I'm just a girl, trying to find a place in this word_

_Got the radio on, my old blue jeans  
>And I'm wearing my heart on my sleeve<br>Feeling lucky today, got the sunshine  
>Could you tell me what more do I need?<em>

_And tomorrow's just a mystery, oh yeah  
>But that's okay<em>

_I'm alone, on my own, and that's all I know  
>I'll be strong, I'll be wrong, oh but life goes on<br>Oh, I'm just a girl, trying to find a place in this word_

_Maybe I'm just a girl on a mission  
>But I'm ready to fly<em>

_I'm alone, on my own, and that's all I know  
>I'll be strong, I'll be wrong, oh but life goes one<br>Oh, I'm alone, on my own, and that's all I know  
>Oh I'm just a girl, trying to find a place in this world<em>

_Oh I'm just a girl  
>Oh I'm just a girl, oh, oh<br>Oh I'm just a girl_

From this song, Kurt understood a few things: how Rachel was feeling about being caught between Finn and Jess, her outfit, and exactly why Rachel had done what she did regarding the two boys. She wanted to see how her life would turn out if she and Jesse got back together. The answer: not so great.

Kurt could see how it was positive... kind of. However, he could also see Finn's reaction, and he didn't look happy (not that he normally looked happy, but now he looked steamed). Probably because Rachel was kind of making herself the victim, and the two boys she was stringing along were the real victims (yes, even Jesse).

"Great, Rachel. Thanks for turning the day around. I think we have time for one more performance, if anyone would like to go..." Mr. Schue waited expectantly, and Finn raised his hand.

"I have a singing response to Rachel's performance," Finn said, and Puck snickered. Kurt rolled his eyes. He didn't know what Puck was thinking, but he knew whatever Finn sang was not going to fit the theme of 'positive'.

"Great, Finn. Go right ahead."

Kurt could see determination and anger in every line of Finn's body as he mumbled to the band what he wanted to sing. Finn was staring right at Rachel as the heavy rock beat started, and Puck cheered quietly. "He finally got angry," the jock murmured with a smirk.

_I look around me  
>But all I seem to see<br>Is people going nowhere  
>Expecting sympathy<em>

_It's like we're going through the motions  
>Of a scripted destiny<br>Tell me where's our inspiration?  
>If life won't wait<br>I guess it's up to me_

_Woah!  
>No, we're not gonna waste another moment in this town<br>Woah!  
>We won't come back, your world is calling out<br>Woah!  
>We'll leave the past in the past<br>Gonna find the future  
>If misery loves company well<br>So long, you'll miss me when I'm gone_

_Ohh, ohh, ohh  
>You're gonna miss me when I'm gone<br>Ohh, ohh, ohh_

_Procrastination, running circles in my head  
>While you sit there contemplating<br>You wound up left for dead  
>Life is what happens while you're busy making your excuses<br>Another day, another casualty  
>But that won't happen to me<em>

_Woah!  
>No, we're not gonna waste another moment in this town<br>Woah!  
>We won't come back, your world is calling out<br>Woah!  
>We'll leave the past in the past<br>Gonna find the future  
>If misery loves company well<br>So long, you'll miss me when I'm gone_

_Ohh, ohh, ohh  
>You're gonna miss me when I'm gone<br>Ohh, ohh, ohh  
>You're gonna miss me when I'm gone<br>When I'm gone_

_Won't look back  
>When I say goodbye<br>I'm gonna leave this a hole behind me  
>Gonna take what's mine tonight<br>Because every wasted day  
>Becomes a wasted chance<br>You're gonna wake up feeling sorry  
>Because life won't wait<br>I guess it's up to you_

_Woah!  
>No, we're not gonna waste another moment in this town<br>Woah!  
>We won't come back, your world is calling out<br>Woah!  
>We'll leave the past in the past<br>Gonna find the future  
>If misery loves company well<br>So long, you'll miss me when I'm gone_

_Ohh, ohh, ohh  
>You're gonna miss me when I'm gone<br>Ohh, ohh, ohh  
>You're gonna miss me when I'm gone<br>Ohh, ohh, ohh  
>You're gonna miss me when I'm gone<br>Ohh, ohh, ohh  
>You're gonna miss me when I'm gone!<em>

Puck started the loud whooping and cheering when Finn was done, standing up, and everyone else followed (besides Rachel and Jesse, of course, the former in tears and the later scowling). Everyone was so glad to have their Finn back they didn't care how distraught Rachel was.

"While that wasn't exactly _positive_," Mr. Schue said with a glance at Rachel, "it certainly seemed to have a positive effect on you! We're glad you're back, Finn." Finn gave his favorite teacher a hug before sitting back down.

"This week has been a success so far, guys, for the most part, and I hope the last two days are just as good. Remember to keep trying your hand at original songs! We leave for New York City in three days!" That got almost as much whooping and cheering as Finn's performance had.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Was I right when I said Act 2 totally kicked Act 1's ass? I think so. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter (I was kind of saddened with the lack of response to the last one, even if it was mostly filler). Reviews mean so much, guys.**

**This one was a doosy, especially the date, so I hope you guys aren't too mad at me for the wait (it really hasn't been that long).**

**THANK YOU TO MY WONDERFUL TRANSLATOR NARYA FOR THE QUICK, ACCURATE, AND ALWAYS HELPFUL SPANISH! *hearts***

**Kurt's outfit (in case anyone's interested) all can be found on Neiman Marcus' website  
>Coat: <strong>Dolce & Gabbana Short Cotton-Linen Pea Coat**  
>Jeans: <strong>Dolce & Gabbana Distressed Medium-Blue Jeans**  
>Shirt: <strong>Alexander Wang Cutout-shoulder Baseball Shirt  
><strong>Boots:<strong> Jimmy Choo Tall Biker Boots

**Rachel's shirt (in case anyone's really curious): ** Angel Sattic Designs' Sabrina Barnett Heart on Your Sleeve Shirt in Black

**Songs used/mentioned:  
><strong>_'Campfire'_ was written byHayleymarie and can be found at Yahoo Answers .com(/)question(/)index(?)qid(=)20090509060951AA0kC8m  
><em>'Missing You' <em>was written by Rose D.G. and unfortunately I can no longer locate the source  
><em>'Gives You Hell'<em> by the All-American Rejects (mentioned)  
><em>'Holding Out For a Hero'<em> from Footloose the Musical (**Rachel**, _Kurt_,_** Both**_)  
><em>'Call Me Maybe'<em> by Carley Rae Jepsen (mentioned)  
><em>'Not Ready to Make Nice'<em> by the Dixie Chicks  
><em>'U + Ur Hand'<em> by P!nk  
><em>'A Place in This World'<em> by Taylor Swift  
><em>'When I'm Gone'<em> by Simple Plan

**Reviews are Love. Act III's next!  
><strong>


	17. Positoovity Act III

**A/N: For once I don't feel it necessary to apologize for the wait! WARNING: This chapter does get a little more... M-rated, but just a tiny bit. No actual smut yet. Sorry.**

* * *

><p>"Finn. Are you all right?" Kurt asked his brother during lunch in a soft tone. He had seen Rachel drag him into the choir room before school, and Finn had looked kind of shell-shocked ever since.<p>

"Why are girls so confusing?" Finn asked, and Kurt shrugged.

"The full extent of Rachel's mind is a mystery even to me," Kurt said in reply. "What happened?" Hadn't Finn been the one angry with Rachel before? Now Rachel was shooting him angry, betrayed looks from across the table, the same kind she had around the time she performed _Gives You Hell_.

"I'm not sure. She came up to me, and she was all upset and demanding. I told her I was tired of being stringed along-"

"Strung along," Kurt corrected with a smile.

"She got super mad though, talking about when I was dating Quinn and flirting with her, the date I went on with Santana and Brittany, and the time I slept with Santana. She said I strung her along more than she strung me along." Finn frowned. "Did I really string her along that much?"

"Would you really like me to answer that honestly?" Kurt asked, mostly sarcastically, and when Finn nodded, he sighed. "Finn, you've been stringing Rachel along since the first note of _You're the One That I Want_ that you sang, and no one can blame you for that. You're sweet, kind, a little bit naive, and completely loveable. You strung her along without meaning to for a long time." Kurt stopped because Finn was getting that guilty 'gassy infant' look, as Santana put it. "Finn. Is there something you would like to tell me?"

"I kissed her the second week I was in Glee. We kind of had a moment, and I kissed her again when I was trying to get her back into the club after the Cabaret thing." Kurt sighed again.

"So, you have strung her along intentionally." He sighed for the third time. "Yes, it can be confusing if you have feelings for more than one person, but that wasn't a good thing to do, Finn. She has a right to be mad at you for that."

"But she was with Jesse when I slept with Santana!" Finn defended, and this clearly wasn't the first time he had said this. "Plus, she was kind of smothering me for a while."

"Rachel's high maintenance, Finn. _Everyone_ knows that. She's demanding and a little bit needy. She's loud, obnoxious, and loves the sound of her own voice. These are all things you have to accept about her if you really love her and want to be with her."

Finn huffed, frustrated. "I do accept that, _now_. Just because I made some stupid mistakes before does that mean she has the right to toy with me when she's dating Jesse."

"To be fair, she hadn't been shoving Jesse in your face. She wasn't toying with you until now. Maybe she's been stringing you along, but she can't help how you feel about her." Kurt shrugged. "I can't believe I'm defending Rachel, but she has a right to be angry with you for humiliating her like that."

"I humiliated her?"Finn obviously hadn't realized why Rachel was crying.

"You were openly mocking her!" Kurt said, a little frustrated. He would have understood if Finn had known what he was done, but unintentionally slighting her was not okay.

"Well, good. She deserved it," Finn said, surly, and Kurt sighed again.

"Finn, do you want her back or not?" Kurt asked the question of the hour (or more like the week).

"Of course I do!" Finn sounded almost hurt that Kurt would ask. "But she's with Jesse and the more I try to win her back, the angrier she gets."

"_When I'm Gone_ was your version of trying to _win her back_?" Kurt asked, not altogether as surprised as he should have been.

"I just wanted to point out that I'm not the only one who's hurting. Somewhere, deep down, she misses me too," Finn said, and it was such naive-puppy logic that Kurt had to smile.

"I'm sure it's even deeper down now that she's mad." Kurt sighed. He had lost count of how many times he had sighed during this conversation. "The best thing to do is let her cool off. I'm such she has an appropriately scathing song planned for Glee today that will ruin all of Mr. Schuester's hopes and dreams for positivity, and then we can all move on."

"Jesse's still around," Finn pointed out, and Kurt rolled his eyes.

"I forget I'm the only one she's been bitching too. Trust me, Jesse won't be around for long." Kurt smiled and patted Finn's hand lightly. "It'll be okay, Finn. Now, eat your pizza." Finn didn't need to be told twice.

* * *

><p>Kurt hadn't been able to talk to Puck alone since their date (thanks to an overprotective father who had taken his phone, and a <em>very <em>overprotective Finn who had banned Puck from the house and glared at Puck threateningly whenever he was near Kurt), so he was excited for Glee more than ever. Finn could make all the scenes he wanted to, Kurt really wanted (and needed) to talk to Puck. Sure, he would have to sit through more of Jesse-Rachel-Finn-Quinn... whoever drama, but it would be worth it.

Kurt jumped about a foot in the air thanks to his anxiety when Quinn sat down heavily beside him. "So. How was the date on Friday?" Quinn asked casually, as if everyone wasn't still upset with Kurt for dating Puck, and as if she hadn't sang an angry song at Puck just yesterday.

"It was... wonderful, actually," Kurt said honestly. "Very romantic." Quinn raised an eyebrow.

"I _did_ see that picture of you two making out in his truck," Quinn pointed out, and Kurt knew he was blushing when he answered.

"Ninety-nine percent of the night was romantic. We got a little... carried away," Kurt admitted, and Quinn smiled, albeit a bit tightly.

"As long as there was no... backseat action, I think getting a little carried away is acceptable. I of all people understand that," Quinn said softly.

"What kind of guy do you think I am, Q?" Kurt asked, mock-offended.

"A teenage one," Quinn replied, making Kurt laugh.

"Fair enough. No, there was no 'backseat action'," Kurt said, and this seemed to satisfy Quinn.

"I'm glad you had a good time. I can't say I wasn't surprised to hear about Noah and you, especially since he hasn't told me anything, but I'm happy for you. You deserve a nice guy." Kurt smiled.

As if he sensed he was being discussed, Puck swaggered over. He had walked through the door alone, obviously still being iced out by Finn and Sam. "Hey there, sexy," Puck said casually, and Kurt blushed a little at the nickname.

"Hi, Noah," Kurt replied, and craned up a little bit in his seat, asking for a kiss. Either Puck didn't notice or he declined, as he sat down and slung an arm around the back of Kurt's chair. Kurt could already feel Finn's glare, even though it wasn't directed at him.

"Finn's still being a douchebag, in case you can't tell," Puck commented, and Kurt laughed despite the crude language.

"Sam seems to be rather upset with you too," Kurt noted, as the blond boy was looking in their direction with menace in his eyes.

"Nah," Puck replied, and Kurt raised an eyebrow at him. "He talked to me after Glee yesterday. He's doing it to impress Mercedes, since she's almost as protective of you as your dad is, princess." Puck's arm casually slipped to be around Kurt's shoulders instead of his chair, but Kurt didn't comment.

"Yeah, he's pretty mad," Kurt said. "He took away my phone and everything. Of course, it doesn't help that Finn's been spewing vitriol and recounting every bad thing you've done in your life to him to keep him on his side." Kurt rolled his eyes. He was very unimpressed with Finn's behavior towards both Puck _and_ Rachel, but he still had to love the big idiot.

"Must be a long list," was all Puck said. Just as Kurt was about to reply that he didn't think half of the things Finn was saying were true, Mr. Schue walked in, clapping his hands excitedly.

"We have two days left before New York City, guys!" This prompted from whoops from Artie, Brittany, Mercedes... all the people that generally weren't worrying about drama. "Let's try to make them the best so far. Brittany requested to go first today, so let's get this party started!" Puck snorted in his ear, and Kurt had to agree with the sentiment. It never turned out well when teachers tried to be cool.

Brittany headed up to the front of the room. "Lord Tubbington told me that everyone was sad, so I'm singing this to make people happy!" Kurt smiled. Oh Brittany.

The music didn't sound like 'making-people-happy' music when it started, but Kurt decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. Then Brittany fixed her eyes on Santana, and Kurt knew the only person Brittany truly wanted to be happy with this song was her.

_Something always brings me back to you  
>It never takes too long<br>No matter what I say or do, I still feel you here till the moment I'm gone_

_You hold me without touch  
>You keep me without chains<br>I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your reign_

_Set me free, leave me be  
>I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity<br>Here I am and I stand so tall  
>Just the way I'm supposed to be<br>But you're on to me and all over me_

_You loved me 'cause I'm fragile  
>When I thought that I was strong<br>But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone_

_Set me free, leave me be  
>I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity<br>Here I am and I stand so tall  
>Just the way I'm supposed to be<br>But you're on to me and all over me_

_I live here on my knees as I  
>Try to make you see that you're<br>Everything I think I need here on the ground  
>But you're neither friend nor foe though I<br>Can't seem to let you go  
>The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down<br>You're keeping me down, yeah, yeah,  
>You're on to me, on to me and all over<em>

_Something always brings me back to you  
>It never takes too long<em>

Brittany didn't have the power Sara Bareilles had, but her rendition was beautiful, and Santana was smiling every moment she wasn't throwing bitch glares at people for looking at her. Kurt had to wonder how complicated and far along their relationship was, but Santana would deny any kind of relationship and Brittany would be confused by the question.

Mr. Schue stood up after the applause. "Brittany, that was great, and it certainly made _me_ happier to see someone do something _positive_! We had a horrible time with that yesterday, so let's see if we can keep it going today. Anyone else have anything?"

"I have a song," Mercedes said, standing up from her seat beside Sam. "So, it took me a while to figure out what to sing to express the emotions I'm feeling, but this one fit. No one take it _literally_," Mercedes glared at him, and Kurt returned the joke with an innocent expression. "This is for you, Sam." Several cities, NYC included, could be powered by the brightness of Sam's smile. Kurt grinned just as wide when he heard the beginning of the song.

_I can hear the bells  
>Well, don't you hear 'em chime?<br>Can't you feel my heartbeat  
>Keeping perfect time?<br>And all because he..._

_Touched me  
>He looked at me and stared<br>Yes, he..._

_Bumped me,  
>My heart was unprepared<br>When he..._

_Tapped me  
>And knocked me off my feet<br>One little touch,  
>Now my life's complete<br>'Cause when he..._

_Nudged me,  
>Love put me in a fix<br>Yes, it..._

_Hit me  
>Just like a ton of bricks<br>Yes, my heart burst  
>Now I know what life's about<br>One little touch  
>And love's knocked me out<br>And..._

_I can hear the bells  
>My head is spinning<br>I can hear the bells  
>Something's beginning<br>Everybody says that a girl who looks like me  
>Can't win his love, well, just wait and see<br>'Cause..._

_I can hear the bells  
>Just hear them chiming<br>I can hear the bells  
>My temperature's climbing<br>I can't contain my joy  
>'Cause I finally found the boy I've been missin'<br>Listen!  
>I can hear the bells<em>

_Round one  
>He'll ask me on a date, and then...<em>

_Round two  
>I'll primp but won't be late, because<em>

_Round three  
>Is when we kiss inside his car!<br>Won't go all the way but I'll go pretty far, then_

_Round four  
>He'll ask me for my hand, and then...<em>

_Round five  
>We'll book the wedding band, so by...<em>

_Round six  
>Amber, much to your surprise<br>This heavy-weight champion takes the prize and_

_I can hear the bells  
>My ears are ringing<br>I can hear the bells  
>The bridesmaids are singing<br>Everybody says that a guy who's such a gem  
>Won't look my way, well, the laugh's on them, 'cause<em>

_I can hear the bells  
>My father will smile<br>I can hear the bells  
>As he walks me down the aisle<br>My mother starts to cry  
>But I can't see 'cause Link and I are French kissin'<br>Listen!  
>I can hear the bells<em>

_I can hear the bells  
>My head is ringing<br>I can hear the bells  
>I can't stop the peeling<br>Everybody warns that he won't like what he'll see  
>But I know that he'll look inside of me, yeah<em>

_I can hear the bells  
>Today's just the start, 'cause<br>I can hear the bells, and  
>Till death do us part and<br>Even when we die  
>We'll look down from up above<br>Remembering the night that we two fell in love  
>We both will shed a tear<br>And he'll whisper as we're reminiscin'_

_Listen!  
>I can hear the bells<br>I can hear the bells  
>I can hear the bells<em>

Everyone was clapping and cheering even before Sam got up and gave Mercedes a kiss right there in front of everyone. The noise increased ten-fold then, and Mr. Schue eventually had to pull them apart. "I'm happy for you guys, but let's keep it PG-13," is what he said with a big and honest-looking smile. "There's positivity to the extreme," Mr. Schue said, clearly happy with the results he was getting that day. "Does anyone else have anything? Let's keep this streak going!"

"I have something, Mr. Schuester." Rachel's smile was suspiciously large, and Kurt looked at Finn. Despite how annoyed he was with his step-brother, Rachel could be pretty scathing, especially in song, and Kurt pitied him.

"The floor is yours," Mr. Schue said, taking her seat in the front row when she got up to sing.

"The song is for Finn, and Finn alone," Rachel said, her smile still disturbingly sweet, and Mr. Schue looked as concerned as Kurt was feeling. The countertenor winced when he head the guitar start and Puck chucked (probably at his reaction. Kurt doubted he knew the song).

_Oh, come on, come on, come on, come on!  
>Didn't I make you feel like you were the only man? Yeah!<br>And didn't I give you nearly everything that a woman possibly can?  
>Honey, you know I did!<br>And each time I tell myself that I, well I think I've had enough  
>But I'm gonna show you, baby, that a woman can be tough<em>

_I want you to come on, come on, come on, come on and take it!  
>Take another little piece of my heart now, baby!<br>Break another little bit of my heart now, darling, yeah, yeah, yeah!  
>Have another little piece of my heart now, baby!<br>You know you've got it if it makes you feel good.  
>Oh, yes indeed.<em>

_You're out on the streets looking good  
>And, baby, deep down in your heart I guess you know that it ain't right<br>Never, never, never, never, never, never hear me when I cry at night  
>Babe, and I cry all the time!<br>But each time I tell myself that I, well I can't stand the pain  
>But when you hold me in your arms I'll sing it once again<em>

_I'll say come on, come on, come on, come on and take it!  
><em>**Take it!  
><strong>_Take another little piece of my heart now, baby!  
><em>**Oh, oh, break it!  
><strong>_Break another little bit of my heart now, darling, yeah, yeah, yeah!  
><em>**Oh, oh, have a!  
><strong>_**Have another little piece of my heart now, baby!  
><strong>You know you've got it, babe, if it makes you feel good._

Quinn had surprised everyone by being the one to jump up and join Rachel in venting her feelings. On the first chorus, no one had joined to be the background vocals because they were all staring awkwardly at Finn, who was looking pretty 'why did you kick my puppy?' at the time. Quinn jumped right up once Rachel started the second voice to join her, and Kurt privately thought it would be the only time he would ever see them cooperate.

_I need you to come on, come on, come on, come on and take it!  
><em>**Take it!  
><strong>_Take another little piece of my heart now, baby!  
><em>**Oh, oh, break it!  
><strong>_Break another little bit of my heart now, darling, yeah, yeah, yeah!  
><em>**Oh, oh, have a!  
><strong>_**Have another little piece of my heart now, baby!  
><strong>You know you've got it! Whoah!_

**Take it!  
><strong>_**Take it! **__Take another little piece of my heart now, baby!  
><em>**Oh, oh, break it!  
><strong>_Break another little bit of my heart now, darling, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!  
><em>**Oh, oh, have a!  
><strong>_Have another little piece of my heart now, baby, hey!  
><strong>You know you got it if it makes you feed good.<strong>_

Kurt half-expected Rachel to be angry with Quinn for taking away her spotlight, but Rachel slapped Quinn five after they were done with the song, and Finn was looking pretty guilty.

"Rachel, Quinn, I'm disappointed in you," Mr. Schue said quietly as he stood up, and while Quinn looked a little bit apologetic, Rachel had no remorse, immediately taking back the chair next to her boyfriend and taking his head. Jesse looked more surprised than anything (they still hadn't made up from their fight. Kurt didn't really understand what it was about, even though Rachel talked about it constantly. It wasn't as if he actually _listened_), but he shot Finn a smug look anyway.

"I think we've had enough for today," Mr. Schue said sadly, dismissing them. Kurt felt a small bit of pity for the fact his idea of positivity had been so thoroughly destroyed, but it _was_ a little naive of him to believe their club could get along for a week. They could barely get along long enough to perform most times!

"You busy after school today?" Puck asked as everyone started to pack up, most people looking a little guilty. "I thought we could go to Sonic. You could actually _eat _something this time."

"I will never eat anything sold at Sonic, Noah," Kurt vowed, "except maybe a few fries I steal off of your plate." Kurt ignored the look he was getting from Mercedes that meant 'come over here _now_!' and slipped his messenger bag over his shoulder.

"Of course." Puck rolled his eyes.

"It's a widely known fact that food doesn't have calories if it's someone else's or it's free," Kurt said with a laugh as Puck put his arm back around his shoulders.

"So that's why Quinn always raids my fridge," was all Puck said.

Kurt shrunk a little more into Puck's side as Azimio (and a few nameless sidekicks) walked by with slushies, but it didn't do anything, as they grinned and headed towards him. Kurt could never have imagined what happened next, but he knew it had happened before.

Azimio and the idiots tossed their slushies square at _Puck_ at such a close range that not so much as a stray drop got on Kurt. Puck stopped, clearly as shocked as Kurt was, his arm slipping off Kurt's shoulder, the horrified expression on his face the only moment Kurt had ever seen him vulnerable.

"Oh my gosh, Noah," Kurt murmured, but Puck still looked kind of frozen in shock. Kurt very gently placed a hand on his non-sticky arm (the one that had been wrapped around Kurt), and once it was clear that he wasn't going to freak out or anything, Kurt pulled him into the girls' bathroom across the hall.

Since the jocks thought it was funny to slushie them as they walked out of the choir room and try to hit as many of them as possible, Kurt already had a chair and emergency supplies stored in this bathroom. Kurt pulled the chair over and pushed Puck into it, grabbing the supply bag from behind the trash can and setting it on the sink.

"I should have killed those assholes," Puck said, the first words he'd said since he got slushied. When Kurt turned to look at him, towel in hand, his expression had closed off again and he looked angry.

"I'm sorry," Kurt said, half-afraid that Puck was going to be angry with him. Their relationship was the only reason the jocks could have slushied Puck and gotten away with it.

"Why the hell are you sorry? You're not a jackass that slushied me." Puck still sounded angry, but Kurt knew it wasn't directed at him.

"They slushied you because of me, and you know it. Shirt off," Kurt demanded, filling the other sink with warm water and laundry detergent, with a hint of fabric softener.

"Trying to get me naked already, Hummel?" Kurt gave Puck a 'bitch, please' look so fierce, he took his shirt off without further comment. "And if they have an issue with us, they can go fuck themselves, I don't care."

"This is just the start, Noah," Kurt said with a sigh as he took Puck's sticky shirt and placed it in the washing sink. He let it soak as he pulled out shampoo for the little hair Puck had.

"So? I was one of those assholes once, I know how thick they are. I can handle anything they throw at me." Kurt wondered if the defiance was for his sake or for the sake of Puck's reputation. He decided not to ask.

"It's not going to be pleasant," Kurt said with a sigh, leaning Puck's head back so he could run it under a warm stream of water and rub some shampoo in it.

"High school sucks for everyone. I'll deal," Puck insisted, and Kurt shrugged.

"It's up to you." Puck was lucky, his hair was not only short, but also didn't need to be re-styled. Kurt could just wash it and let it dry. It was lovely.

"What's my other option? Break up with you?" Puck asked, and Kurt shrugged again.

"Or something like that," he replied. Breaking up implied they were boyfriend-and-boyfriend, which Kurt was pretty sure they weren't. They never would be, if their friends had anything to say about it (thank GaGa they _didn't_).

"No way, princess," was all Puck said. Kurt had to wonder if Puck now had even _more_ motivation for them to be together: pure stubbornness and the added bonus of messing with the jocks' heads.

"Speaking of... whatever we are," Kurt said, leaving Puck's hair wet but clean and dampening a towel to wipe off Puck's bare chest, "we need to talk." Kurt was trying _not_ to think about how intimate this was. Why didn't he let Puck just wipe himself off again?

"Giving up on me already?" Puck asked jokingly, but Kurt would swear that he heard a pinch of worry or insecurity behind his kidding tone.

"No, but I think we need to talk," Kurt repeated, "about Friday night," he clarified.

"Is this about the boyfriend or sex thing?" Puck asked, clearly thinking of the only two things that had really gone wrong on their first date.

"Both, maybe?" Kurt replied, because he wasn't really sure how this conversation was going to go.

"I'm sorry, princess," Puck said, but it seemed almost automatic, as if he knew he could get out of talking by apologizing.

"I'm not asking you to be _sorry_, Noah. I shouldn't have called you my boyfriend, even if that slutty waiter _was_ bugging me. That was my fault. So, I'm sorry too." Puck looked at Kurt for a second before grabbing his hips and pulling him onto his lap, making Kurt straddle him.

"We don't have to act all awkward about this," was the only explanation Puck offered, so Kurt let it go, placing his hands on Puck's shoulders. He was quite comfortable. "And just because a girl hits on me, doesn't make her a slut." Kurt grumbled a little in response. "Trust me, I _know_ sluts," Puck said with a grin, and Kurt rolled his eyes.

"As for what happened at the end of the night, we're teenagers, and we're hormonal. I can't be mad at you for getting a little carried away, I just didn't want to be..."

"Slutty?" Puck offered.

"Cheap," Kurt corrected. "Or, at least, I didn't want to _feel_ like some cheap slut."

"So, slutty." Kurt sighed.

"Yes."

"Princess, you're about as far from slutty as possible." Kurt tried not to take that as an insult. "Besides, I wasn't trying to bang you in the back of the car," Puck said, and Kurt shook his head.

"I didn't think you were. I just... overreacted." Kurt hesitated for a moment before admitting, "I know that most of the time you date girls because you want to get into their pants. I know things aren't the same between you and I because I'm a guy, and I understand that!" Kurt added quickly once Puck looked ready to object. "It was... when you asked me that, I felt a little like you were just trying to... to put it in the vernacular, hit it and quit it." Puck snorted.

"Princess, I know you're gonna smack me for saying this, but that's just stupid. Even if I did just want to bang and go, I'm not even sure I'm..."

"Brazen?" Kurt offered.

"Gay enough," Puck said, and Kurt supposed that was technically a proper use of the word, "to do it. And besides, don't take this to make me a sap, but you're not exactly my usual kind of... person." Puck was being his version of politically correct, but Kurt knew what he meant.

"I'm sorry," Kurt said again, and Puck shrugged.

"Me too." Puck pulled Kurt forward to kiss him, and it started out as a soft, apology kiss. Then Puck pulled Kurt closer, and one hand ended up on Kurt's ass as Kurt's hands moved from Puck's shoulders to wrap around his neck. Puck licked over Kurt's lip, and Kurt allowed him entrance, their tongues sparring as the kiss got more heated.

Kurt had lost track of time when he realized the... state Puck's kisses had put him in. Kurt slid back a little in Puck's lap to avoid any... awkward situation, which broke their connected lips and made Puck pout.

"Problem?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Um," Kurt knew he was bright red, "I'm kind of..." Kurt couldn't bring himself to say it and pointed downwards.

"So?" Puck asked, sounding a little annoyed, pulling Kurt back and even closer than before, close enough that Kurt could feel that Puck was in the same state.

"Noah," Kurt began as Puck went about kissing his neck and the bit of collarbone he could reach above the neckline of Kurt's shirt, "I meant what I said about us moving slowly."

"'Kay," Puck said, mumbling his words against Kurt's skin. "This is pretty glacial for me, babe."

"Noah," Kurt stressed, but Puck sucked on his pulse point, and he lost his train of thought. At least, his train of thought was missing until Puck rolled his hips up and tore a moan from Kurt's throat. That brought Kurt back to the present.

"Noah!" he said again, pushing himself back, almost off Puck's lap. "We are in a public bathroom! The door's not even locked!"

"No one's here," Puck said, trying to pull Kurt back again, but Kurt climbed off his lap.

"If we're doing... this," he said, pointing between them, "we're certainly not doing it here! And Finn's at my house, and you have a sister, so we have to suck it up and go to Sonic," Kurt said firmly.

Puck sighed. "Are you always this bossy?" Puck said, standing up shamelessly. Kurt blushed as he realized he was just standing there with a bulge in his pants, and started putting away the slushie supplies so Puck wouldn't be ogling him.

"You know the answer to that." Kurt wrung out Puck's shirt and put it on the shelf under the blowing hand dryers to dry it thoroughly.

"Yeah," Puck said a little bit surly. Kurt almost said something, as he was just as frustrated, but there was nothing they could do (or, rather, nowhere they could do it). He was _not_ messing around with Puck in a dirty public bathroom.

"Noah?" Kurt asked, and Puck grunted in affirmation. "Are we dating?"

Puck hesitated, and Kurt almost apologized for asking, but he needed to know. "I guess so..." Puck said slowly, and Kurt almost started doing a happy dance. Almost, but it sounded like Puck wasn't quite finished. "Kurt, I don't wanna be an asshole and hurt you after Lame did, but I don't really know how we could be... dating," Puck avoided the word 'boyfriends,' "if I can't..."

"Noah," Kurt stopped his stumbling. "I understand. If things become too much for you, we can go back to being friends, or not even that for a while if you need. I know you're still unsure about us, but that doesn't mean we can't be together." It would hurt, but Kurt would manage. It wouldn't hurt as much as his break-up with Blaine had, but it would hurt if Puck suddenly couldn't be with him.

"Well then yeah," Puck said. "I guess I have a boyfriend." He sounded kind of incredulous, and Kurt laughed. "My mom's gonna be _thrilled_," he said sarcastically, rolling his eyes, and Kurt worried for a moment.

"Noah, if your mother's going to have an issue, we don't have to tell her," Kurt said. His dad was going to kill him, but Kurt could make sure Puck avoided most of the parent-issues."

"The gays burned with the Jews during the Holocaust right?" Puck asked, and Kurt almost snorted.

"Yes..." he said hesitantly. What did that have to do with anything?

"Then she'll be fine with it," Puck said with a smile, and Kurt laughed. He wasn't entirely sure if Puck was joking, but if Puck thought his mom would be fine with it, Kurt would go with it.

"Good," Kurt said, pressing a quick kiss to Puck's lips and ignoring the way Puck tried to grab his waist and turn it into a longer kiss. "Now, put your shirt back on," Kurt demanded, handing the clean and dry shirt to Puck.

"Do I have to?" Puck said with a grin.

"No shirt, no shoes, no service," Kurt reminded him.

"_We headed to the bar, baby, don't be nervous, no shoes, no shirt, and I still get serviced, watch,_" Puck sang-spoke with a smirk.

"Put your shirt on," Kurt said with a roll of his eyes as he tucked the supply bag back behind the trash cans and walked out of the bathroom, a now-completely-clothed Puck behind him.

* * *

><p>Kurt was cornered as soon as he walked into the house after his date with Noah at Sonic. Both his dad and Finn were standing there, looking severely unimpressed, and Carole was nowhere in sight.<p>

"Would you like to tell your father where you've been?" Finn asked, trying to sound composed and threatening and failing.

"At Sonic with my boyfriend," Kurt said, ignoring how both of their eyes bulged out at the term. "Would _you_ like to tell me father how badly your ex-girlfriends schooled you at Glee today?" Kurt asked with a vindictive smile.

"Since when is this punk your boyfriend?" Burt asked, and Kurt shrugged.

"Since today. And Noah's not a punk, dad, he's a good guy who's done some bad things." Burt frowned.

"I've seen a whole lot more bad than good, kiddo." Kurt sighed.

"You haven't _seen_ anything," Kurt corrected. "You've only heard stories from Finn, and he's been focusing on the bad since he's mad that I'm dating Puck. Plus, he made half that stuff up." Kurt had thought to ask Noah during their date, and they'd had fun determining the true from the lies. Burt looked at Finn for confirmation, but he was looking at his (clown-sized) feet.

"Maybe you're right, but I've still heard a whole lot of things I don't like," Burt said.

"At least give him a _chance_, Dad!" Kurt begged, and Burt readjusted his baseball cap nervously. "You have Blaine a chance, and he's got some history too. You told Puck he had one chance, and he hasn't messed it up."

"Don't you realize he's just trying to get into your pants?" Finn asked, and Burt's resolve hardened.

"Don't _you_ realize that Puck actually does have the ability to care about people?" Kurt asked, frustrated with Finn's attitude. "He cares about you, his sister, his mother, the guys. He _loves_ the daughter he never gets to see, and he _loved_ Quinn. I would know, because I heard it from her." Finn looked floored. "And to be quite honest," Kurt continued, "Puck's been a lot better to me than you are to Rachel." Finn looked shocked.

"I still don't like this, kid," Burt said, and Kurt turned to focus his efforts on his father.

"Don't judge on what you've heard, dad. If you didn't know me and judged me on what you heard, you would think I'm the worst person in the world," Kurt pointed out, and Burt's mouth tightened. "Give him the benefit of an open mind, and at least give him a chance to make you like him. And if you really don't, then we'll talk." Burt sighed.

"All right, but I'm still not happy about this. Bring him to Friday Night Dinner as soon as you get home from New York, understand me?" Burt asked, trying to be parental and firm, but the effect was ruined by Kurt hugging him.

"Yes, Daddy," Kurt said, knowing exactly how to melt his father, and Burt hugged him back with a sigh.

"I love you, kid," he muttered as Kurt let him go.

"I love you too." Kurt straightened out his clothes. "I'm going to go do my homework; see if you can pick Finn's jaw up off the floor." Kurt headed upstairs as his father laughed.

* * *

><p>Puck was similarly cornered as soon as he walked into his house, by a very angry-looking Quinn, and a very surprised-and-upset-looking mother.<p>

"How did I miss that you have a boyfriend?" his mom demanded, and Puck glared at Quinn, feeling a little betrayed.

"I was gonna tell you when I introduced him, but apparently _someone_ couldn't fuckin' wait." Puck knew he was going to be chastised as soon as he swore.

"Language, Noah," Quinn and his mom said in unison.

"We need to talk," Quinn said firmly, "but I think you have some things to say to your mother first, so I'll be in your bedroom."

"She's a nice girl," Ruth Puckerman said as Quinn headed up the stairs. "Too bad she's not Jewish." Ruth turned to her son. "Now, explain to me why I didn't know you have a boyfriend."

"Ma, we went on our first date on Friday. I was gonna introduce him to you." Puck completely lost his badass status around his mother. As a single woman with a low-paying job working for an asshole boss, she had managed to be a kick-ass mother to a delinquent and a little girl when her jackass husband left. She was the _ultimate_ badass.

"You were _going to_ introduce me to him," she corrected, "and good. I still want to meet him. Now, explain how I missed the part where you like boys now?" she asked, and this was the part Puck was afraid of.

"I don't. I just like Kurt." Puck wasn't sure how to explain it, but something in his laconic sentences had distracted his mother.

"Kurt? Kurt Hummel? Elizabeth's son?" his mom asked, and she sounded excited now.

"Yeah, I think that was Kurt's mom's name," Puck said. He didn't know a lot about Kurt's mom. People didn't talk about her and nobody had the balls to ask Kurt, not even him.

"Oh, he's a wonderful boy!" she exclaimed. "And I don't have a problem with the idea, Noah, I just want to know why you didn't feel you could talk to me."

"You're busy, ma," he pointed out, and she shrugged.

"I always have time for you," she said firmly.

"Besides, I didn't freak out about it or anything," Puck lied. He had, a little, but he had figured it out all on his own, just like a man should. "It just kinda... happened," he said, and that was definitely the truth.

"I'm happy for you, Noah. I'm glad you've found someone who makes you happy, and that you're actually willing to _date_," she said, giving him a look, and Puck wondered exactly how much she had told his mother before he got home. "I don't care if that someone is a boy, okay?"

"Yeah. Thanks, ma." Puck held still as Ruth gave him a hug.

"Oh, don't pretend you're too cool for hugs from your ma," she said, not letting him go until he hugged her back. "Is that where you were after school today? With Kurt?" she asked as she released him, and Puck nodded. "Good. Now, go upstairs, I think Quinn's a bit upset with you."

Puck headed up the stairs, dreading the conversation that was coming with Quinn. The ex-head-Cheerio was not going to be happy with him that he had been withholding information. "And remember to invite Kurt over for dinner sometime!" Ruth yelled up the stairs from the kitchen, cutting into Puck's thoughts.

"'Kay, ma," he yelled back as he reached the top of the stairs and pushed open his door, walking inside like he wasn't afraid of castration. Quinn was standing in the center of his room, hands on her hips, mouth pursed, golden curls pulled up in a loose ponytail, and wearing a bright pink sundress. She did not look sunny.

"Where do I begin?" she asked him, but it was obviously rhetorical. He wasn't a dumbass. "Why was I the last to know that you and Kurt went on a date? Why didn't you tell me when you asked me to help you pick out clothes? Do I get to know what you're doing now?" she demanded on him, and he sighed.

"You weren't the last to know, you just found out when everybody else did, and I didn't want to tell you because I wasn't sure how it would go," that was true. "And if you really want me to tell you what I'm doing, I'll tell you, but you can probably guess," that was also very true.

"Tell me, and if you say 'trying to get into his pants,' I will murder you with my bare hands," she promised and Puck swallowed.

"Q, don't get me wrong," Puck began, and Quinn almost _growled _at him, "Kurt's cool and all, but he's a _dude_. He's a _hot_ dude, but he's a dude, and it's not like I like him."

"Noah," Quinn said warningly. "What are you trying to do?"

"I was figuring we could date a little why I figure things out, then we'll bang, I'll say it was too gay for me and be out," Puck said with a shrug. "No one gets hurt."

"Oh, you _idiot_!" Quinn screamed. Puck had never seen her this angry, not even when she was _giving birth_. "_Why can't you understand that you have feelings for him?_" she shrieked, almost splitting his eardrums.

"Quinn, I _don't_. This is the only way I can get what I want without hurting him. That's better than I am with most chicks," he pointed out. If it was possible for steam to come out of someone's ears, it would have come out of Quinn's at that moment.

"_You stupid, stupid boy!_" she yelled, her chest heaving with anger. "That will still _hurt him_! And if you think otherwise, you're too stupid to be in high school! Do you not think he'll realize once you sleep with him and then claim that was too gay for you?" Quinn sighed, as if all the wrath had gone out of her. "Between you and Blaine, he's never going to want to have sex again. All it seems to lead him to is pain."

"Quinn, that's not fair," Puck argued. "What else am I supposed to do?"

"Maybe realize that you're a thinking, feeling person like every other human on this planet and not a sex machine, and that it's possible for you to have honest-to-God feelings for Kurt, because he's a witty, smart, rational, gentle, kind, loyal, sensitive, ambitious, passionate, independent, modest, warmhearted, confident, romantic, and genuinely _good_ person?" Quinn asked, and Puck wasn't sure what to say to that.

"What if I don't have feelings?" Puck asked.

"For Kurt or at all?" Quinn asked, sounding like she didn't believe it either way.

"For Kurt."

Quinn huffed. "Then you're just plain in denial, and there's only one thing for me to do." Quinn stormed out, out of his bedroom and out of the house, yelling out a pleasant goodbye to Ruth as she went.

* * *

><p>Burt Hummel looked surprised to see Quinn when she knocked on the Hummel-Hudson door, but she wasn't there for Finn. "Hello, Mr. Hummel. Is Kurt home?" she asked politely, because Burt had always been nice to her and all of the girls, and no matter how mad she was at Finn she wouldn't blame it on his step-father.<p>

"Yeah, he's up in his room, Quinn. Go right on up." Burt stepped out of the doorway, and Quinn walked through, headed for the stairs. She was a woman with a purpose.

"Kurt?" she asked, knocking on the door.

"Come on in, Quinn," he said, and for a moment she felt guilty. He sounded so _happy_ and light, the same way he had sounded when he first met Blaine. Did she really have to be the one who took that happiness away from him?

"We need to talk," she said as she stepped into his room, taking a seat on the end of his bed. It was for the best, even if it would crush him.

"About..." Kurt asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Noah." Kurt groaned.

"Is everyone trying to make me break up with him today?" he asked, and her heart clenched. "First my father and Finn, now you."

"I'm the only one with a real reason to. And I wouldn't lie to you about this, you have to know that," Quinn said seriously, and she had Kurt's attention.

"What is it, Quinn?"

She gulped and closed her eyes before answering, not wanting to see the look on his face. "Noah... he's... he's stringing you along with this whole idea that he's not comfortable with gay sex. Once you and he have sex, he plans to say it was too weird and leave you. He thought this was the best way to hit it and quit it without hurting you." There was silence for a few moments (it didn't even sound like Kurt was breathing), so Quinn hesitantly opened her eyes.

Kurt was even worse than she thought he would be. Moisture was already welling up in his big blue eyes, which were so betrayed. There was pain in every line of his face, right down to his tight-drawn mouth. "Kurt, sweetie, I'm so sorry," she whispered.

"Please tell me you're lying. _Please_," Kurt begged, and Quinn almost nodded just to save him the pain. She couldn't lie to him, though, not about this, and she shook her head. Kurt sobbed, just once, and then the damn broke. Quinn hugged him as he cried into her shoulder, rubbing his back and whispering apologies.

* * *

><p>Quinn drove to school that morning with Kurt and Finn, as she had ended up falling asleep with Kurt. For someone that had cried himself to sleep in the bearer of bad news' arms, Kurt looked remarkably well-rested and composed. Sunglasses obscured most of his face, but what she could see of his expression was haughty.<p>

Quinn winced when she saw Puck leaning at Kurt's locker. He wasn't holding a present or anything romantic like that, but he was obviously reaching out to his boyfriend, feeling guilty or something of the like. He was about to get a very unwelcome surprise.

"Remove yourself from my locker," Kurt said coldly as Finn walked past them and Quinn stayed to watch what would happen.

"Rawr," Puck made a cat noise with a laugh. "In a bad mood, princess?" Puck walked towards them, obviously looking for a kiss, but Kurt stopped him with a hand in the air.

"Come any closer and I'll do the world a favor by rendering you unable to procreate," he snarled, strutting past Puck to his locker.

"You _told _him," he said to Quinn, disbelieving, the look in his eyes betrayed.

"It was my only option," she said, and Puck shook his head.

"Look, babe," he tried his luck with Kurt again.

"Don't call me _babe_," Kurt snarled, whipping off his sunglasses to give Puck the most blood-chilling look of all time. "You have no right to call me that. I'm just another one of your sluts who you can toy with. Then once you've gotten them into bed, they're worthless to you." Kurt pushed Puck out of his personal space. "Believe it or not, I still have more self-respect than that."

"Princess, whatever Q told you." Quinn gasped as Kurt backhanded Puck across the face with the hand holding his sunglasses, opening a cut on his left cheek with the sharp edge.

"_I'm not your princess_," Kurt growled before stalking off, wiping Puck's blood off his sunglasses and clearly not feeling very remorseful.

"Thanks, Q," Puck said sarcastically before heading to the nurse. Any excuse to get out of class.

* * *

><p>Puck was surprised (but not particularly pleased) to find himself in the company of Rachel during lunch. Kurt was still pissed at him (thanks to Q), and Mercedes had been throwing him death glares all day, almost as bad as the one Kurt had given him that morning.<p>

"Hello, Noah. What happened to your cheek?" she asked, lightly touching the sticky bandage the nurse had put on it.

"Got slapped with sunglasses," he said honestly. He didn't say by whom, and Rachel didn't ask. "What's up with you?"

"I'm having a horrible week, Noah," Rachel said, and he knew he shouldn't have asked. "Jesse and Finn have been hounding me, and I know I'm with Jesse and should remain faithful at all costs because we've all seen the effects infidelity has, but I simply cannot choose between him and Finn. They are total opposites in every way, yet I love both of them equally. How is that possible?" Rachel sighed in frustration.

"You want my advice?" Puck asked, and Rachel nodded.

"That would be helpful, Noah. As my ex-flame, I believe I can trust you to make a decision that would benefit me," she said, and Puck rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. Dump the douche and date Finn. Jesse's gonna be a Lima loser for the rest of his life because he's a dumbass, and you're got dreams, babe. Finn loves you like crazy, and even though you're mad at each other, being mad at each other comes from passion, and that's what you need. St. Asshole is too similar to you, someday you'll want to kill him."

"Thank you, Noah," she said after a moment of considering it, and Puck rolled his eyes again. "That was very helpful, but I still believe I have some deciding to do. This is not an easy choice, and making a rash decision could affect my entire life."

"Whatever." Puck went back to his food.

"So much for she doesn't need a third guy grabbing at her flat chest," Mercedes commented as she and Kurt walked by towards the Cheerio's table, where Quinn had saved them seats. Kurt had changed from the normal outfit he had been wearing that morning, to painted-on black jeans with paperclips running down the sides, a red shirt with a black leather jacket over it, and studded bracelets and collars. His chestnut hair was spiked up more, and he appeared to be wearing dark eyeliner. It was a statement, Puck knew. He just wasn't sure what Kurt was trying to say.

"Moving on already, Puckerman?" Kurt asked snidely across the cafeteria, not caring who heard. Puck didn't dignify his petty behavior with an answer.

"Is something wrong between you and Kurt, Noah?" Rachel asked and Puck shook his head.

"Not for long, babe."

* * *

><p>"It's our last day!" Mr. Schue announced, as if they didn't already know that. "Tomorrow, right after school, we leave for New York City!" This prompted a few cheers, but the number had gone down since the beginning of the week. Kurt sat in the top row with Sam, Mercedes, and Quinn. Santana and Brittany and Mike and Tina were sitting in the middle row with Puck. Artie was wheeled up at the end of the first row. Rachel was sitting in the front row, center. To either side of her was Finn and Jesse, and Puck had to wonder how that had happened. "Let's make it our best day. Jesse has requested to sing first, so the floor is yours, Jesse."<p>

"I wanted to try a mash-up this week, for Rachel." Jesse handed music to the band, who nodded in their usual dispassionate fashion at Jesse's questions.

"Shocker," he heard Kurt murmur from where he was sitting, and he couldn't help but chuckle. Then he felt Kurt's glare on him, and his laughter stopped pretty fast.

Jesse cleared his throat, and his song began.

_Is this all over?  
>Don't want an ending<br>Is this all over?  
>Don't want an ending<br>Is this all over?  
>Don't want an ending<em>

_When I look into your eyes  
>It's like watching the night sky<br>Or a beautiful sunrise  
>There's just so much they hold<em>

_And just like them old stars  
>I see that you've come so far<br>To be right where you are_

_Is this all over?  
>Don't want an ending<em>

_I won't give up on us  
>Even if the skies get rough<br>I'm giving you all my love  
>I'm still looking up<em>

_Is this all over?  
>Don't want an ending<em>

_And when you're needing your space  
>To do some navigating<br>I'll be here patiently waiting  
>To see what you find<em>

_'Cause even the stars they burn  
>Some even fall to the earth<br>We've got a lot to learn  
>God knows we're worth it<br>No, I won't give up_

_I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily  
>I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make<br>Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use  
>The tools and gifts we got, yeah, we got a lot at stake<em>

_I don't wanna fall out, but we're all out of time  
>My heart's running on empty<br>One more day and then you go  
>Yeah, the time goes on now<br>Don't ask me how, I don't know  
>The days turn to hours<br>And it's just a moment before you go  
>I'm scared to say goodbye<br>'Cause what's after that?  
>I don't know<br>Say you won't forget and I'll be okay  
><em>

_Don't want an ending_

_We didn't break, we didn't burn  
>We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in<br>I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not  
>And who I am!<em>

_I won't give up on us  
>Even if the skies get rough<br>I'm giving you all my love  
>I'm still looking up<br>Still looking up_

_I won't give up on us  
>Even if the skies get rough<br>God knows I'm tough enough  
>I'm giving you all my love<br>I don't wanna fall out, but we're all out of time  
>I don't an ending!<br>No, I'm still looking up_

It was by far the messiest mash-up Puck had ever heard. Jesse obviously hadn't gotten the hang of them yet. Even so, it was sweeter than anything he had ever seen from Jesse, and for one it didn't feel like he was just trying to stake a claim to Rachel, half to make Finn mad. It honestly felt like he cared about her, and Puck wondered if it was true. Puck also wondered what Kurt thought of it, and if Kurt was now thinking that even Jesse cared for Rachel more than Puck cared for him. It seems like something he would think.

"That was great, Jesse, but I still think you have a little catching up to do when it comes to mash-ups," Mr. Schue said, clapping Jesse on the shoulder. "Would anyone else like to sing on our final day?"  
>"I have something," Kurt offered, and even Mercedes looked at him in surprise. Kurt's shoulders were set, and his eyes were cold. He didn't seem in the mood to do anything positive, even to the casual observer, but Mr. Schue knew better than to deny him.<p>

"Go ahead, Kurt."

Kurt strutted up to the front, the sunglasses stained with Puck's blood perched on his head. Kurt gave no introduction before he gestured to the band. The beat that started was almost too metal for _Puck's _ears. Half the girls were clutching their heads like they were afraid blood was going to start dripping out of their ears. Kurt didn't look phased, and he was staring Puck down with that same stare that made his blood freeze in his veins.

_I see nothing in your eyes  
>And the more I see, the less I like<br>Is it over yet, in my head?_

_I know nothing of your kind  
>And I won't reveal your evil mind<br>Is it over yet? I can't win._

_So sacrifice yourself, and let me have what's left  
>I know that I can find the fire in your eves<br>I'm going all the way, get away, please.  
><em>

_You take the breath right out of me  
>You left a hole where my heart should be<br>You got to fight just to make it through  
>'Cause I will be the death of you<em>

_This will all be over soon  
>Poor salt into the open wound<br>Is it over yet? Let me in._

_So sacrifice yourself, and let me have what's left  
>I know that I can find the fire in your eves<br>I'm going all the way, get away, please.  
><em>

_You take the breath right out of me  
>You left a hole where my heart should be<br>You got to fight just to make it through  
>'Cause I will be the death of you<em>

_I'm waiting!  
>I'm praying!<br>Realize, start hating!_

_You take the breath right out of me  
>You left a hole where my heart should be<br>You got to fight just to make it through  
>'Cause I will be the death of you<em>

There was no question of whether that was a threat or a promise, and the room was dead silent when Kurt finished, still gazing directly at Puck with the same look in his eyes. If anything, it had only intensified. Now, Puck saw the point of his scary new clothes.

Puck took a risk, and stared right back at him. He stood up slowly, daring Kurt to challenge him, and started clapping, slowly and exaggeratedly. Kurt practically snarled as he stomped back to his seat, biker boots creating a loud sound with every step, and the metal on his outfit clanging together. Puck was surprised he hadn't stormed out of the room.

"Well, that was... interesting," Mr. Schue said, but he decided not to comment. "Who wants to have the final performance spot before we head off to New York, New York?" The dropping of the name caused no cheers now. Everyone was still in shock and half-deaf.

"Mr. Schue, I have a song." Rachel stood up, not waiting for permission. The familiar tune started, and a few people smiled.

_Start spreading the news  
>I'm leaving today<br>I want to be a part of it  
>New York, New York<em>

Rachel reached out a hand to both Finn and Jesse at the same time as she sang the song, clearly trying to create peace in their fractured mess. Mike and Tina were the only ones who stood up at her beckoning to the rest of them. Artie rolled over.

_These vagabond shoes  
>They are longing to stray<br>Right through the very heart of it  
>New York, New York<em>

Everybody standing up sang as Rachel walked up to pull down Santana and Brittany. Brittany was smiling wide, and Santana was trying and failing to pretend she was annoyed. For once, the angry cheerleader was smiling. New York was infectious.

_I want to wake up in that city  
>That doesn't sleep<br>And find I'm king of the hill  
>Top of the heap<em>

Rachel grabbed Puck next, not giving him an option as she took his hand and walked him to the front. Finn grabbed him in a bro-hug, and clearly all was forgiven (even though Kurt hated him now, which made no sense).

_My little town blues  
>They are melting away<br>I gonna make a brand new start of it  
>In old New York<br>If I can make it there  
>I'll make it anywhere<br>It's up to you  
>New York, New York<em>

Rachel grabbed Mercedes and Sam, smiling at the newly-made couple. As the walked up to the front, Mercedes grabbed Santana in a hug, and Brittany hugged Sam. Mercedes and Tina hugged too, and Sam offered Mike and Puck both fist bumps.

_New York, New York  
>I want to wake up in that city<br>That never sleeps  
>And find I'm king of the hill<br>Top of the list  
>Head of the heap<br>King of the hill_

Rachel grabbed Quinn, who gave her a big hug, and then ran to Puck, hugging him, and all apologies necessary were in that hug. Last, and certainly in the worst mood, Rachel grabbed Kurt, who was trying to hide a smile. He hugged her, Quinn, all the girls, even Finn (whom he was presumably mad at). He came to Puck and his face hardened. He turned away. Apparently, even during a Sinatra song, not all was forgiven.

_These are little town blues  
>They have all melted away<br>I am about to make a brand new start of it  
>Right there in old New York<em>

By the time the song was finishing, they had all linked arms and were attempting to do with can-can with much off-timing and hilarity. Rachel, Kurt, Jesse, Mercedes, Tina, and Artie were the only ones who were still really belting it out, but they still sounded good as they were falling over each other. They managed to can-can for the last five seconds of the song, perfectly in sync.

_And you bet your bibby, baby  
>If I can make it there<br>You know, I'm gonna make it just about anywhere  
>Come on, come through<br>New York, New York, New York_

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Bahahahahaha. I'm evil. I know. This isn't exactly a cliffhanger, but it's a relationship one. Mwahahahaha! Seriously, I'm having way too much fun with this. The ups and downs provided to me by my brain are just wonderful. Don't be too mad at Quinn, she did the right thing.**

**Songs used/mentioned:  
><strong>_'Gives You Hell'_ by the All-American Rejects (mentioned)  
><em>'You're the One That I Want'<em> from _Grease _(mentioned)  
><em>'When I'm Gone'<em> by Simple Plan (mentioned)  
><em>'Gravity' <em>by Sara Bareilles  
><em>'I Can Hear the Bells'<em> from _Hairspray  
>'Piece of My Heart'<em> by Janis Joplin  
><em>'Sexy and I Know It'<em> by LMFAO  
><em>'Breathe'<em> by Breaking Benjamin  
><em>'New York, New York<em>,_'_ from _New York, New York_ (made famous by Frank Sinatra)

**Jesse's mashup was **_'I Won't Give Up_' by Jason Mraz** and** _'Don't Want an Ending'_ by Sam Tsui. **Anyone that wants a rough version of what this would sound like can go to my lovely friend BroadwayGeek99's channel on Youtube, and it will be right there, with my avatar as it's picture. Or you can search Don't Want An Ending/I Won't Give Up and see what other crazy stuff comes up. But it's on there. It's very rough. But it's on there.**

**Reviews are Love.**


	18. 105 Minutes

**A/N: I had a wonderful time writing this chapter. I really did. This *entire* chapter is set on a plane! (Minus one, small flashback that was unfortunately necessary and shows up in **_italics_**). Slight 10 Things I Hate About You reference, points to the first person to see it!Be happy: there's no Blaine or Jesse in this chapter (one mentioned of Blaine was prompted by a review from jajo, thanks for the idea).**

* * *

><p>Kurt sighed as he looked around. How had they gotten to this point again? Either Mr. Schuester was the worst coach in the world, or the best one. There was no alternative. Either he planned this, or he didn't. One thing was for sure: this was going to be an <em>interesting<em> flight, and it was only a hundred and five minutes long. Only two hours ago, things had been normal...

* * *

><p><em>Ah, how do you sleep?<br>Ah, how do you sleep at night?  
>You live with straights who tell you you was king<br>Jump when your momma tell you anything  
>The only thing you done was yesterday<br>And since you're gone you're just another day_

* * *

><p><em> Mr. Schue was practically bouncing when the Glee kids arrived, immediately after school as he had requested (most of them had ended up skipping last period, but at least they were on time!), ready to leave for New York City. "All right, guys, we don't have much time, so let's get right to it, our bus leaves in fifteen. Everyone have their bags?" There was general scuffing around as all the girls counted their bags and all the guys (except him) wondered if they had remembered to pack clean underwear. Kurt knew he had all of his bags, he had triple-checked before he made Finn carry them in Mr. Schue's office where they would be stored for day.<em>

_ After everyone nodded (with one small scare from Rachel. The World's Biggest Douchebag had been hiding one of hers), Mr. Schue continued. "Great! Now, I'm not going to depend on the Hat of Fate for this-"_

_ "We all want to get to Nationals in one piece," Mercedes murmured, and Kurt smiled. He had missed his best girl. Somehow they had lost touch in the madness that Kurt had been experiencing since he broke up with Blaine._

_ "-so I have chosen the travel buddies!" _Were they in kindergarten? _Kurt thought as Mr. Schue's assertion was met with the normal chorus of groans. "Come on, guys, this is important. This is who you will be sitting next to on the bus and on the plane. I don't want any arguing. I've been very disappointed with the original songs written lately. We need to do better if we're going to win this thing. So, I expect you guys will take some time during the flight to start writing." The World's Biggest Douchebag snorted loudly._

_ "Or join the Mile High Club," Santana added with a look at Brittany._

_ "This is serious, Santana," he said coldly. She didn't looked discouraged. Kurt wasn't thinking on that one too hard. "So, partners. Kurt and Rachel." Kurt tried not to groan. Hopefully all she would want to talk about was New York City, and Kurt was fine with that. Mercedes shot him a sympathetic look. "Quinn and The World's Biggest Douchebag." (_Okay, Mr. Schue hadn't actually said that, but Kurt wasn't even thinking his name. However, he felt bad for Quinn. Things weren't exactly okay between them at the moment.) _"Santana and Brittany_." _Really? Even after the Mile High Club comment? "Mercedes and Sam. Wouldn't want to split up the new couple." Mercedes looked thrilled. Kurt smiled at her. She was so in love, it was wonderful. "Finn and Mike. Tina and Artie." Kurt wasn't sure how that one was going to go. Yes, they had broken up on not-the-nicest terms, but they could get along._

_ "What about Jesse?" Rachel demanded. _(Not-so-oddly, no one had thought to ask about Lauren. Everyone had pretty much given up on her being a part of the club at this point.)

_ "Jesse won't be joining us," Mr. Schue said, and something in his tone had suggested to Kurt that this wasn't Jesse's idea. After all, they all needed Rachel at her best, even if Kurt loathed to admit. "He was a consultant, and he has done his job. All he can do now is wait for the news. We don't have the money for an extra ticket." Rachel pouted, but money was a barrier not even she could talk her way out of. "Everyone get with their travel buddies."_

* * *

><p><em>I thought you were good<br>But you painted me bad  
>Compared to the others<br>You're the best thing I had  
>Bang Bang (Shot you dead)<br>Bang Bang (Shot you dead)_

* * *

><p>The bus ride had been nearly silent. With Mr. Schue patrolling up and down the aisles, everyone was forced to actually attempt to write songs, or at least look like they were. Kurt had been doodling ways to kill The World's Biggest Douchebag, and Rachel had been actually attempting to write, humming in a way that made her songs seem like they would be very <em>My Headband<em>-esque. Mercedes and Sam had been giggling and flirting in a way that made it very obvious they had been writing notes to each other instead of composing, but Mr. Schue hadn't commented. Artie and Tina had both been staring at empty notebooks, as had Finn. Mike had seemed to be choreographing on his. Santana and Brittany had been acting like Mercedes and Sam, but had tried to be subtle about it. The World's Biggest Douchebag and Quinn had been sitting as far apart as possible on a bus seat, The World's Biggest Douchebag staring out the window with no notebook, and Quinn scribbling pleas for help in big letters on hers, which she had directed to Kurt or Mercedes.

Airport security hadn't been particularly fun. One of the guards had tried to convince Quinn and Brittany that they needed strip searches, causing an abnormally angry Mr. Schuester to tell them off and call their manager. To reluctantly give credit where credit was due, The World's Biggest Douchebag had been the one to drag the creepy guard the hell off Quinn and holler for Mr. Schuester. Kurt was still pissed at him.

Kurt could understand why The World's Biggest Douchebag had wanted to sleep with him. After the horror that was Sexy Week at Dalton (and McKinley, but Kurt didn't know much about that), Kurt could vaguely see that people considered him attractive (he still didn't understand _why_). The World's Biggest Douchebag wanted to 'get a piece of that'. Kurt understood that. He even understood why The World's Biggest Douchebag tried to cover that up. What he didn't understand was why No-The World's Biggest Douchebag had gotten _feelings_ involved. Although it was _very_ clear that The World's Biggest Douchebag had no feelings for Kurt, one would think he would have ran away immediately after Kurt revealed _his_ feelings, but no. The World's Biggest Douchebag decided to manipulate him into his bed (which, sadly, probably would have worked, eventually).

Anyway, Kurt had gotten onto coach next to a happily-chatting-about-New-York Rachel. Listening to her for ten seconds revealed that she was listing all the places she wanted to visit during their short time in New York, and Kurt confirmed every few seconds without really listening. Sam and Mercedes claimed the seats behind them. Santana and Brittany were across from them to the right (in the center aisle. Thankfully, Kurt and Rachel had gotten seats on the side). Next to Brittana was Finn and Mike. Artie and Tina were in the center aisle across from Sam and Mercedes. Quinn and The World's Biggest Douchebag were (thankfully) on the far aisle of the plane.

"We'll go there together, won't we, Kurt?" Rachel asked, and Kurt caught it just in time to reply cheerily. He was _extremely_ excited to be going to New York City, and he definitely planned to go exploring with Rachel despite Mr. Schue's orders about staying with the group (he was staying with his 'travel buddy'). The circumstances just weren't ideal.

"Of course we will, Rachel. We'll go everywhere," he said, masking the fact he had no idea where Rachel had just asked him to go.

Rachel paused for a moment before answering him, which was a novelty in itself. "You were thinking about N-"

"Rachel," Kurt said firmly. The last thing he wanted to do on the way to a trip The World's Biggest Douchebag was going to inevitably ruin was talk about him.

"You have a right to be upset, Kurt. He built you up and then stepped all over your heart, right after what happened with Blaine. It was like you didn't mean anything to him."

"That's _quite enough_, Rachel," Kurt said coldly. He knew she was trying to help, in her own little way, but Rachel had a tendency to rehash any issue in the cruelest terms possible without meaning to.

"You have to talk to someone," she insisted, and wasn't that the argument everyone had made when he and The World's Biggest Douchebag started becoming friends? "You don't want to talk to Mercedes about it because you don't want your melancholy to drag her down from the Cloud Nine of being in a new relationship. You can't talk to Quinn in case _someone_ overhears-"

"If you need a name for him, I've been calling him The World's Biggest Douchebag in my head. All capitalized." Rachel sighed.

"Kurt. Talk to me," she demanded. Kurt rolled his eyes. One thing they had in common was obstinacy. If he didn't tell her something, she would pester him the whole way there.

"There's nothing to talk about, Rachel. I made a huge mistake trusting someone who's been such a womanizer in the past. I ignored the pattern. I certainly won't make that mistake again, and I will happily wait to date until I can find someone who _doesn't_ make me want to shoot them in New York." Rachel looked ready with a comeback, but Kurt had to add, "And I don't mean on this trip. Obviously."

"What if he apologizes?" Kurt snorted at the very idea.

"I don't mean enough to him for him to waste the effort. And if he _were_ to be that stupid, all he would receive is a kick in the nuts from the best kicker McKinley High has ever seen." Rachel frowned.

"He had been doing so much better. He'd mostly given up on his cougars, he tried to _date_ Lauren, I don't understand what's changed." Kurt sighed, settling back in his chair and fastening his seat belt as they prepared for ascent.

"All trying to understand a mind like that is going to do is give you a headache, Rachel. Forget about it. The World's Biggest Douchebag and I aren't meant to ever be together. He's meant to sleep with a different woman every night until he dies of syphilis," Kurt said bitterly, but he took a small bit of vindictive pleasure at the thought.

"Kurt, I know this seems a bit hypocritical coming from me, but aren't you being a bit... dramatic about this?" Rachel asked, and Kurt snapped his head around to glare at her before she could complete her thought.

"You better have an _amazing_ explanation behind that deranged statement, Rachel Berry, or you've lost yourself a friend." Kurt meant it. How dare she say that he was being dramatic about the fact that The World's Biggest Douchebag had been lying to him and pretending to support him through a difficult time in his life in order to get into his pants? He had called Blaine despicable (well, the idea was there, even if The World's Biggest Douchebag was too much of a meat head to know what that meant) for being impatient and frustrated on top of all the other stress in his life, but he deliberately took advantage of Kurt's vulnerability.

"This is what Puck _does_," Rachel began explaining. "He baits girls, and, apparently, guys, into bed by pretending that he cares more about them then he does. Maybe you should have been a little more careful, considering you were around for what happened to Quinn and Puck has been like this for years..." Rachel looked wary, but Kurt didn't let his anger show.

"You're right, Rachel," he said smoothly, and he was looking forward to extinguishing the smile that lit up her face at that. "This is all _my_ fault. I lured Puck in by being emotionally vulnerable after a break-up and I was _far_ too trusting of someone who, as you said, was getting better. I believed that everyone deserves a fair chance. Shame on me."

"Kurt, that's not what I..." Kurt was sure Rachel continued to talk (Rachel was _always_ talking), but he didn't continue to listen to her. After all, he was sure Mr. Schue wouldn't be pleased if he killed his travel buddy. Kurt placed his headphones in, turned on some _P!nk_ (always good for heartbreak), and turned away from her, looking out the window.

_It's all your fault, you called me beautiful  
>You turned me out and now I can't turn back<br>I hold my breath 'cause you were perfect  
>But I'm running out of air and it's not fair<em>

* * *

><p>Quinn was twiddling her fingers, and Puck felt like snapping at her for it, but he didn't. Had she been a shitty friend by telling Kurt about his apparently-not-so-awesome plan? Absolutely. Did that mean she deserved to be snapped at for a nervous habit? No, but Puck still wanted to.<p>

"Scared of planes or something?" he asked gruffly.

"He speaks," she said with a little smile, but Puck ignored it. Did she really think he was giving her the silent treatment (when had he turned into the kind of chick that used the silent treatment? Actually, when had he turned into a chick?) for no reason?

"Shut the fuck up, Q," Puck snarled. Could she really blame him for not wanting to talk to her?

"I was going to ask if you're still mad at me, but the answer is pretty obviously 'yes'." Quinn said in a perfectly calm tone, and that annoyed him more than anything.

"No shit," he snarled, not looking away from the window. Of course he was still pissed at her. She had ruined everything he'd had going with Kurt and made the soprano (at least Kurt couldn't yell at him for calling him by the 'improper name' from across the airplane) hate him forever.

"Planes don't scare me, by the way," Quinn offered, as if that was really what they needed to talk about.

"Cool story, bro," Puck said sarcastically, and God, when had he turned into Kurt?

"Noah-"

"Don't call me that." Only people he tolerated could call him that. His 'travel buddy' was no longer one of those people, even if she _was_ Beth's mother.

"Puck," Puck smirked at the resentment for the name he could hear in Quinn's voice, "I know you're mad at me, and I understand why-"

"'Cause you screwed me over and fucked everything up?" Puck asked her bitterly, his momentary enjoyment at Quinn using his nickname over.

"Would you let me talk?" she demanded, in the self-righteous tone she saved for freshman Cheerios that annoyed her.

"Probably not." Puck could feel her stare on the back of his head.

"Would you at least _look _at me when I'm talking to you?" she asked, and her tone hadn't changed a bit.

"Definitely not."

"Puck, I don't think you understand what this meant to Kurt," Quinn said, and she sounded careful. Puck almost snorted. What could she possibly say to make him more angry? "Kurt had been so heartbroken and you took care of him. He trusted you. He _cared_ about you. You should have heard how happy he was after your date at Sonic. You should have seen him _sob_ once I told him. I know it doesn't seem like it, but deep down he's not angry, he's just _hurt_. He _cried himself to sleep_ over you. Don't you care?"

"He wouldn't have gotten hurt if you hadn't fuckin' told him," Puck said, hoping Quinn could see she was the only reason he got hurt at all.

"That's not true, Noah. You think he wouldn't have been hurt if you had slept with him and then dumped him? Not only would it have been his _first time_, in case you've forgotten, but he would have figured out he had been played. Think about it, if you were really feeling uncomfortable, you would have stopped before you actually slept with him. He's not _stupid_." Puck ground his teeth. Screw his dentist (oh wait, he had).

"It doesn't matter now, Q. You fucked everything up beyond fix." Puck turned to glare at her, and received a hearty slap in the face. "The fuck?"

"You're not even going to _try_?" Quinn demanded, and now she sounded angry. "Don't you _feel_ anything?"

"For Kurt or at all?" he asked, mocking their earlier conversation and resisting the urge to flinch as she raised her hand, but she lowered it slowly.

"Either," she said quietly, and she was looking at him expectantly.

"No, I don't. Maybe I gave up on love watching my asshole dad beat and then leave his wife," Puck snarled, turning his head towards the window again, and then he realized how personal what he had just revealed was. Shit, this was going to be another one of those deep conversations he and Quinn kept having.

"Puck," she sighed, "you can't let whatever happened with your father stop you from having feelings. If anything, it should _encourage_ you. If you don't want to be like him, then be the man Kurt deserves in the way he couldn't be the man your mom deserves." Puck hated the way she was talking to him. She was disappointed. Everyone always was.

"Don't ever compare me to him!" Puck growled. "You don't know what he was like. And I can tell, every time I've done something bad, I remind my mother of him. I even _look_ like him. My own damn mom hates me sometimes because of him."

"Your mother does _not_ hate you," Quinn said firmly. "She loves you. If she didn't, she wouldn't be as accepting as she is about Kurt. She wouldn't have let me move in when I was pregnant with your child." Puck knew she was bringing that up as a way to lessen his anger at her and it wasn't going to work.

"You know what she told me when I asked her?" Puck demanded of Quinn. "She said she hoped you weren't about to become the next her. She practically _called_ me my father."

"You're not your father, Puck-"

"And what if I am? Maybe I wanna be a rock star and leave this shitty town and not have to care about who I leave behind." Puck hated the fact that every time he mentioned wanting to leave Lima, it made him seem like he was following his father's legacy.

"What if there was someone who wanted to leave _with_ you, sitting across the plane and avoiding talking to Rachel?" Quinn asked, and Puck couldn't stop himself from looking over at Kurt. The countertenor (he _could_ remember the word. He _chose_ not to) was staring out the window with his headphones in. Rachel was glaring at him, but he couldn't care less. Everyone had been glaring at him all week, first while he was dating Kurt, and then while he wasn't. He just couldn't please some people. Puck turned back to the window.

"Doubtful. I'm damaged, ex-manwhore, ex-homophobe goods, and the person he hates the most in the world." Quinn looked like she was considering this.

"Maybe he hates you at the _moment_, but he only hates you because he cares about you." Ignoring how stupid that seemed, Quinn continued. "And I've never understood the phrase 'damaged goods'. Everyone has their baggage, some more than others. Plus, it's not like Kurt's perfect."

Puck snorted. "You did a damn good job of making him sound it when you were yelling at me. It think you described him as smart, independent, romantic-" Puck couldn't really remember any of the other words she'd used, so he was actually glad Quinn cut him off.

"Yes, but I was upset that you were going to hurt him, and I was hoping I could change your mind. Now you _have_ hurt him, and _we _need to change _his_ mind. He does have his baggage: the bullying, his sexuality, his mother, his father's weak health, _Blaine_. The list goes on, but the point is no one is unhurt." Quinn smiled softly at him. "Still mad at me?"

"Until you come up with a good idea," Puck said, but no, he wasn't. He could never stay mad at Quinn for very long. He turned back to her.

"You need to learn that you're not your father, and you need to accept the fact that you're not perfect. Most of all, you need to admit that you have feelings for Kurt. Real, honest feelings." Quinn put a hand on his arm. "Noah, have you been crying?"

"No," Puck growled. "I'm allergic to your perfume."

"Right," Quinn said dryly, pulling him into a hug.

* * *

><p><em>Someone call the doctor<br>Got a case of a love bi-polar  
>Stuck on a roller coaster<br>Can't get off this ride_

* * *

><p>Rachel poked him and Kurt almost bit her finger off. "I told you I didn't want to talk to you," he said without taking either of his ear buds out. He didn't want to hear her answer. Of course, being Rachel, she took one of his ear buds out forcibly before she answered.<p>

"Noah's crying." The statement was so ludicrous he turned to her in shock, but since he was looking her way, he could see that yes, The World's Biggest Douchebag appeared to be crying into Quinn's shoulder.

"He's probably just trying to get sympathy sex from Quinn so he can join the Mile High Club," Kurt scoffed. Speaking of the Mile High Club... Kurt had assumed correctly. Santana and Brittany were nowhere to be found.

"I know you don't think that of him," Rachel said quietly, but Kurt ignored her. Why was The World's Biggest Douchebag crying?

"Mike and Tina seem to be having some problems." Kurt changed the subject, tearing his eyes away from The World's Biggest Douchebag and Quinn, turning to look at where Mike and Finn were sitting. Finn was playing a Nintendo DS he'd obviously borrowed from someone, but Mike was glaring at where Artie and Tina were sitting.

After their rather abrupt break-up at the beginning of the year, Artie had done well not to push his luck trying to win Tina back, but everyone could see the chemistry was still there. They hadn't had proper closure. Tina dumping him while picking out her lunch (a little insensitive on her part, especially the mention of the abs Mike had that were almost physically impossible for Artie to have) didn't count. Judging by the intensity of Mike's glare, it had obviously occurred to him that when he goes away to college at the end of next year, Tina and Artie both stay behind. The way they were laughing and talking now (which wasn't inappropriate for friends, but still suggested romance between the two) probably wasn't helping those fears. Kurt wondered if that was how he and Blaine had looked from the day he transferred to Dalton to the days before Regionals. He was kind of proud that the memories didn't really hurt anymore (ignoring the small part of his consciousness that insisted they didn't hurt because he had a much bigger heartbreak on his hands. What had happened with The World's Biggest Douchebag wasn't _heartbreak_ really, just the severing of some high expectations which Kurt should have known he wouldn't meet). Rachel was looking at Artie and Tina curiously, as if she had been so wrapped up in her own drama during their sophomore year that she had missed their relationship entirely. It really wouldn't surprise him.

Santana and Brittany were still missing, The World's Biggest Douchebag appeared to be composing himself, and Finn was staring longingly at Rachel now that her attention was diverted. The only happy people on the plane seemed to be Mercedes and Sam, who were still talking, giggling, laughing, cooing, and occasionally kissing behind him. Kurt couldn't begrudge his bestie her happiness, but did she have to display that happiness so much when most everyone else was miserable for one reason or another?

"I think they're relationship is stable enough not to be meddled in. Yours, however-"

"I'm not _in_ a relationship, Rachel," Kurt said coldly, still mad at her. "I never was."

"What would he have to do for you to forgive him?" Rachel asked him.

"Become a priest," Kurt deadpanned. He knew The World's Biggest Douchebag was Jewish, but he wasn't sure if rabbis were celibate.

"Kurt, I'm being serious," Rachel said firmly. It was the same tone she always used with Finn when she was annoyed with him.

"Fine," Kurt paused as if he were thinking about it, "the Twelve Labors of Hercules."

"Kurt!" Kurt sighed. "What would he have to do? Make a commitment to you? Sacrifice himself on the alter of dignity for you?"

"Why do you care, Rachel?" Kurt asked her, suddenly suspicious.

"I'm trying to figure out how mad you are at him," she lied. Yes, Kurt could tell that she was lying. He just couldn't tell what the truth was. "What do you want him to do? Get down on one knee?"

"Woah, woah, woah, no!" Kurt said firmly. He couldn't imagine the disaster that would be. "This isn't something he can make up to me. How could someone ever make up for destroying someone?" Kurt squeezed his eyes shut to prevent himself from tearing up.

"Oh, Kurt," Rachel said gently. "You still care about him, don't you?"

"Of course I do! I still care about Blaine too, and right now I'm thinking he would be the better option!" Kurt said angrily.

"Well, now you're just being silly," Rachel said in the tone one uses with a little kid, and Kurt sighed.

"I know, but... I guess if Puck, somehow, proved that he really wanted to be with me, guy or not, I would be... considerably less mad at him," Kurt admitted. "He'd have a lot of work to do earning back my trust."

"And if he managed to do that?" Rachel asked, just a hint to excited for her questioning to be causal curiosity.

"Then I suppose he would have a shot," Kurt said, and right before Rachel was about to reply, Brittany came running down the aisle, crying.

"Why don't you care about me?" she yelled at Santana, who was following her from where they had obviously been inappropriately utilizing the plane bathrooms.

"Because I'm not a fuckin' _homo_!" she yelled right back, and Brittany let out a sob, running to where Artie was sitting and climbing on his lap, curling into him. "Oh, that's fine, run right back to Perry, because there's nothing here for you!"

Santana headed past the curtain for first class, and nobody had any idea where she was going. Tina got up and sat in the empty seat next to Mike where Brittany had been sitting, giving Artie some privacy to comfort his ex-girlfriend. It was a few seconds before conversation started back up, Sam and Mercedes being the first to whisper to each other.

"Poor Santana," Rachel commented. "She can't accept herself enough to realize that she's in love with Brittany, and it hurts Brittany so much." For once, Rachel had gotten things exactly right, so Kurt didn't comment.

"How long have we been on this plane?" Kurt asked.

"Twenty minutes," Rachel replied promptly.

Kurt muttered a curse word under his breath that Rachel obviously didn't catch or she would have yelled a him for vulgar language, and turned back to the window, turning his iPod back on.

_But he's really good at lying  
>Yeah, he'll leave you in the dust<br>'Cause when he says forever  
>Well, it don't mean much<br>Hey, good girl  
>So good for him<br>Better back away honey  
>You don't know where he's been<em>

* * *

><p>"God, I cry like a fuckin' sissy," Puck muttered as he pulled away from Quinn, and he startled a laugh out of his baby momma.<p>

"Yes, you do," she said completely seriously, but Puck stuck his tongue out at her. He knew she was kidding. "Now, if you can stop crying for a few minutes, do you want to talk about how to win him back?"

"I thought you said I had to do all that stuff about my dad and baggage and feelings," Puck asked, confused.

"You just _cried_ over Kurt, Noah," Quinn said, and she sounded _way_ too smug. "If you still think you don't have feelings for him, you're an idiot." Puck was silent. He hated it when Quinn was right. "All the other things you can work on _with him_. This isn't going to be easy, Noah, you really hurt him.

"I know," Puck said, but badasses did _not_ feel guilty.

"You have to earn back his trust. You have to prove you want to be with him more than anyone else. And you have to prove to him that you're gay, or bi, or whatever enough to be with him, since you did _such_ a good job lying about it before." Puck didn't even need to look at Quinn to see the sarcasm and disappointment there. He could hear it in her voice.

"Any ideas, valedictorian?" Of course, no one knew who the valedictorian was going to be yet, but that didn't really matter with sarcasm.

"What's the gayest thing you've ever done?" Quinn asked him, and oh, was she setting herself up.

"Well, this one time in a bathroom, Kurt and I-"

"_Not like that_!" Quinn shrieked covering her ears, and Puck died laughing.

"You _so_ set yourself up for that one, Rachel," Puck said with a smirk.

"Did you just call me 'Rachel'?" Quinn demanded.

"If you don't want me to call you that, stop reacting like her." Puck paused after he said that. Hadn't he said something exactly like that to Kurt? "Singing Justin Bieber."

"Excuse me?" Quinn asked, obviously thrown by this seemingly-random comment.

"I told Kurt on our first date that the gayest thing I had ever done was the Justin Bieber experience." Quinn's face lit up. It was very concerning.

"I have a plan."

* * *

><p><em>And I'm here to remind you<br>Of the mess you left when you went away  
>It's not fair to deny me<br>Of the cross I bear that you gave to me  
>You, you, you oughta know<em>

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Oh, and what a wonderful plan she has. Some extremely important set-up, with some drama thrown in to keep things interesting, and I'm going to have **_**so**_** much fun writing New York. This chapter is a little shorter than usual. Sorry. And there are **_**so**_** many jilted lovers songs out there that I had to use a few.**

**Songs used/mentioned:**

_'How Do You Sleep' _by John Lennon  
><em>'Gang Bang'<em> by Madonna  
><em>'My Headband'<em> by Rachel Berry (mentioned)  
><em>'It's All Your Fault'<em> by P!nk  
><em>'Hot N Cold'<em> by Katy Perry  
><em>'Good Girl'<em> by Carrie Underwood  
><em>'You Oughta Know'<em> by Alanis Morissette

**Reviews are Love.**


	19. Nefarious New Yorkers

"I made it!" Rachel exclaimed, looking around a bizarrely empty Times Square at all the lights and Broadway New York City had to offer her.

"Because you won Regionals all by yourself," Kurt commented from his travel buddy's side. Inside he was practically screaming with happiness. No, he wasn't going to act like Rachel was (he wasn't sure she realized how much the others were mocking her behind them), but he was just as excited as she was to be in New York, New York. Even though he had to shake the feeling of being a freeloader as far as this trip went (he had been with the Warblers for both competitions), he was excited to participate in helping the New Directions win Nationals.

Besides, he had helped a little. Finn was a wonderful writer, but he hadn't exactly been bullied as much as Kurt had, so Kurt had decided to lend a hand. When Finn woke up and found the second verse to _Loser Like Me _written in a shaky version of his handwriting, he must have figured he'd been struck with inspiration before he passed out. Either way, he had been so excited that he waved it proudly around to his mother (being very careful not to let Kurt, who was trying not to laugh, see it. Apparently Rachel's paranoia was contagious) and then the group. Kurt would never mention the true writer.

"You can't deny that you're excited to be here," Rachel said, her trademarked smile that was almost creepily-wide plastered on her face.

"Of course I'm excited," Kurt replied, trying to look at the Wicked advertisement as if it didn't make him want to burst into _Defying Gravity_ right there and then, "but I'm not going to act like a tourist."

"What do you mean?" Rachel asked. Kurt almost felt bad for dimming her smile, but then The World's Biggest Douchebag's laugh floated to his ears from somewhere behind them, and his resolve hardened.

"People who act naive in this city get taken advantage of." Of course, Rachel _was _naive in some respects, but he wasn't going to say that. He wasn't _heartless_.

"That's just silly, Kurt," she said with a roll of her eyes, spinning on her heels in her multicolored jacket that was insulting to Kurt's eyes and stuck out especially in fashion-forward New York City, and heading back towards the group.

* * *

><p>The New Directions were lounging on the steps between 7th and Broadway where they crossed 45th, eating food they had bought on the streets. No one had been able to find Santana since the plane, and Mercedes was arguing with a vendor across Broadway, but the rest of the club was relaxing and chatting. Kurt and Rachel seemed to be the only ones who were excited about being in New York.<p>

"Kurt, I'll be right back!" Rachel announced. "There's someone I want to go talk to." Rachel was across 7th before he could stop her and he hadn't thought it was possible, but even her hideous, patternless white, blue, orange, green, and yellow coat, with included white hat, got lost in the crowd.

"Kurt!" Tina said excitedly, tapping the seat next to her. Mike and Sam were behind her, Mike occasionally leaning forward to talk to her and make her laugh. Apparently, the last portion of the plane ride had went well enough to convince him that she wasn't about to run away to Artie. Sam was obviously waiting for Mercedes, his letter jacket spread out on the slightly damp space next to him. Quinn and Brittany sat on either side of The World's Biggest Douchebag a few rows above and a little to the left of them. Once Kurt sat down he could see Finn was leaning with Artie against the monument to Lieutenant Colonel Francis Duffy. "Aren't you excited to be in the big city! We've come so far!"

"I know," Kurt said with a smile. "A year and a half ago, the New Directions were nothing but a group of six misfits, stumbling their way through a horrific rendition of _Sit Down, You're Rocking the Boat_." There was laughter throughout the parts of the group that had been there.

"Hey!" Artie yelled in fake-indignation.

"You know it's true!" Tina yelled back from next to Kurt, face lit up in a smile. Mike's face tightened incrementally.

"Now here we are, at the top of the show choir heap: Nationals!" Kurt declared, earning a few more sniggers. Yes, the show choir heap wasn't the most admirable thing, but they had worked hard to get where they were, and show choir required a whole lot more talent than say football. One had to be born with a good voice, but muscles make the football player.

"I want to hit up Central Park, get my frolic on," Tina said, smiling when Mike leaned forward and squeezed her shoulders. The few days before Nationals might almost be more exciting than the main event (depending on how they placed, but Kurt had confidence they would make the top ten).

"I want to throw things off the Brooklyn Bridge," The World's Biggest Douchebag offered from behind him, and Kurt's mood was soured slightly.

"You guys, hold on. I mean, we still have two songs to write," Finn added, always the downer.

"Okay, Mr. Bossy Pants," Kurt said with a roll of his eyes, "_but_ I think we might have some time for a tune before we leave." Grinning at his step-brother, who looked a little bit annoyed, Kurt started singing, quickly joined by the other occupants of the bleachers.

_Start spreading the news  
>I'm leaving today<br>I want to be a part of it  
>New York, New York<em>

"Though I appreciate the club's enthusiasm," Rachel began, appearing back from wherever she had disappeared to far too early for Kurt's liking (and he had a feeling he wasn't alone), "I also loathe being copied, _Kurt_, and I have news!" Rachel drew in a deep breath and Kurt groaned mentally. "I have great confidence in all of us to win, with me leading the charge as our resident starlet and songwriter," Finn snorted at that, for some reason, "and because I'm absolutely positive we're going to win, and we all know I'm a little bit psychic, I bought us all a present in advance."

"Counting your chicks before they hatch, babe," Mercedes commented as she walked up to sit next to Sam, smiling brightly as he wrapped his arm around her. Kurt couldn't begrudge his girl romance, but, Gaga, did they have to be so _happy_ about it?

"Chicks? Where!" Brittany said eagerly, and Quinn sighed, trying to take on Santana's role as Brittany's interpreter between the real world and whatever went on inside that girl's head.

"I got thirteen tickets to the longest running show ever on Broadway, with seven thousand, four hundred, and eighty-five performances, _Cats_!" Brittany whooped and everyone clapped and a few people cheered. Quinn snorted. Kurt agreed.

"Yeah, you did," Brittany said, clearly giving up on her search for the baby chickens that she was convinced Mercedes was hiding under the bleachers.

"It would be appropriate for me to say 'I hate to burst your bubble,' but your condescending speech actually irritated me so much I'm going to enjoy doing this," Quinn began, just a hint of the ex-Cheerio shining through in her tone, "you might want to check the dates on those tickets of yours, Rachel, because I'm pretty sure _Cats_ closed about 11 years ago." Tina snickered next to him.

"And it's no longer the longest-running Broadway show," Kurt piped up. "_Phantom_ overran it pretty recently. Reached eight thousand performances."

Rachel hesitated. "He did seem crazy. Charged my credit card by swiping it through his butt-crack."

"You might want to wash that," Tina added helpfully.

"Regardless, there's so much in New York to enjoy!" Rachel prattled on, but Kurt's attention had moved behind him, despite his best efforts.

"Ten minutes in New York and it's already eating her alive," Quinn commented. What had Rachel done to piss her off lately?

"Why would New York eat Rachel? She must not taste very good," Brittany asked. It was at this point that Quinn gave up completely.

"Where's Santana when you need her?" she asked The World's Biggest Douchebag in a low tone, making him chuckle.

"In some other guy's bed. Ow! Q!" Kurt took brief satisfaction in that fact that Quinn had hurt him.

"Didn't we talk about comments like that?" Quinn demanded. She sounded oddly _motherly_, loving but firm.

"Whatever. I still don't think it's gonna work. It's fuckin' stupid." Kurt could visualize him leaning back in his punk-pose (Burt would be so proud of him for calling Puck a punk) and could hear the thunking as his big, clunky boots landed on the bleacher below him.

"Who's the smart one here?" Quinn demanded. "_Me_! You have screwed this up royally, and now _I'm_ going to clean up your mess. You're welcome."

"I screwed this up? Really, Q?" The World's Biggest Douchebag asked, but didn't press the issue. "And don't start talking to me like you talked to Finn. I'm not a dumbass and I'm not your bitch."

"You should be," was all Quinn said in reply.

"Why isn't Mercedes taking care of her chicks?"

* * *

><p>Kurt rolled his eyes at the scene around him. Mr. Schue was checking them in, and the travel buddies were supposed to be keeping each other in check, but of course they had all separated. Finn had strolled up to Rachel and was chatting to her, trying to appear casual. Quinn had abandoned The World's Biggest Douchebag in favor of talking to Mercedes and Tina. The World's Biggest Douchebag had apparently located Santana and was now at the bar with her, ordering a Manhattan. Whiskey, Sweet Vermouth, and Bitters... sounds just like him.<p>

"All right, guys, group meeting!" Mr. Schue yelled, obviously not able to find all of the New Directions in the huge lobby. Even the lobbies of New York were grander than the ones in Ohio. It was amazing.

"Kurt!" Rachel said, immediately finding her travel buddy as only she could. "During the 85 minutes of our plane trip that weren't a dramatic scene from a soap opera, I managed to compose and choreograph a song that I think will clinch us Nationals, and since you're the only other person in out group that comes near to my talent level as far as musicality and composition, I was hoping you could review it and tell me if it's phenomenal or simply amazing."

"I hate it when things do wonders for your confidence," Kurt said with a roll of his eyes. Not that _Get It Right_ wasn't a great song, but now Rachel thought she was a song-writing goddess here to help the small humans.

"It's unnecessary to be bitter and vitriolic towards me since Quinn and Noah appear to be rekindling their romance in your departure," Rachel said looking over at where The World's Biggest Douchebag and Quinn had met up and were bent over a paper, speaking in low tones.

"Rachel, it looks more like they're conspiring to blow up the hotel than 'rekindling their romance'," Kurt replied, and perhaps the air quotes were a little immature, but Rachel was a Gold-medalist at getting on peoples' nerves, and he hadn't started with much patience.

"Please, Kurt, she's a vindictive harpy, and if a window of opportunity is open, she'll take it. Despite having a boyfriend when Finn and I had a brief spat, she took that open window of opportunity in hopes of winning Prom Queen-"

"Thanks for bringing that one up, Rachel," Kurt said, reviewing Rachel's song in the hopes that it would make her stop talking. "This is fine, but it's no _Get it Right_, and it's not going to win us Nationals."

"So _you_ think," Rachel replied, snatching her song back with a huff. "Perhaps it would be better if you were to give up on Noah, since she obviously is still interested in him, and a pretty girl like that _always_ gets what she wants." Rachel sighed, and Kurt felt pity for a brief moment.

"I'm guessing you've talked to Jesse," he said as they headed for the elevator behind Mercedes and Tina.

"No boys and no distractions," Rachel said firmly.

"Deal," Kurt said, taking Rachel's arm and trying to pretend that he couldn't feel Quinn looking at him. "I thought you were all for me forgiving Puck."

"Forgiveness is essential for the good of the team, that's all," Rachel said with a shrug, but she failed in being nonchalant. Something was going on here. "Oh, look at her. She's awful." Quinn was talking to Finn, who didn't seem particularly pleased to be talking to her, and was even less so after he heard what she was saying.

"This is madness," Kurt said with a sigh as he and Rachel got into the elevator.

* * *

><p>"We are officially ordering ahi tartare and steak sandwiches at three in the morning from the all-night dinner menu, just because we can," Kurt said to his travel buddy, who was sitting in the chair next to him, frowning at her song.<p>

The World's Biggest Douchebag, Quinn, Sam, Santana, and Finn were all lounging on one of the beds, Mercedes, Tina, and Brittany on the other. Artie was rolled up next to the bed with Brittany on it, obviously still comforting her.

"We can order some while we're writing, perhaps, because Finn's right. Writing our songs in two days is going to be no easy task." Kurt ignored her.

"I feel like Eloise!"

"I have pills for that," Brittany commented as she walked past to investigate the bathroom.

"You are all on lock down till you finish writing our songs for Nationals," Mr. Schue said firmly, but he was the only one who hadn't taken his coat off yet. Was he not staying? "I want at least two solid verses by the time I get back."

"Aren't you gonna help us?" Tina asked, sounding a little hurt for some reason. Maybe she and Mike were still arguing, considering he was across the room on the window seat.

"I, um... I will be back and read your amazing creations and give notes," Mr. Schue said, and Kurt was suspicious again. What on earth was going on here? Why did being in New York suddenly make everyone nefarious? "But right now I have to head to the theatre to, uh, fill out some paperwork."

Rachel was already working when Mr. Schue left, but she was the only one. Brittany was tracing one of the cups the hotel provided with a wet paintbrush on the notebook that Santana had obviously given her. Mercedes and Tina were chatting and laughing immediately, Artie occasionally chiming in, but keeping an eye on Brittany.

The World's Biggest Douchebag, Santana, Quinn, Finn, and Sam were talking again, in the same low tones Quinn and Puck had been using earlier, bent over a Studio C notebook that was Quinn's. Finn still looked unhappy, Sam looked confused, and Santana looked annoyed, but Quinn seemed to be dictating to them. What was going on over there?

Mike was glaring at where Tina and Artie were laughing, stabbing his pencil repeatedly into his notebook.

"Kurt, are you not writing?" Rachel demanded of him, not looking up from her paper.

"Rachel, something fishy is going on over on that bed." Kurt eyed the plotters.

"Considering Noah's slept with Santana and Quinn, Santana's slept with Finn, Finn's probably slept with Quinn, and Sam's probably slept with Santana, I have no doubt, but it's not something I want to think about," Rachel said firmly, still not looking up from her song.

"No, Rach, _look_." Rachel finally looked up and frowned.

"I agree, but I think we should be writing regardless of how much they are slacking off. What do you think about this?" Rachel asked, shoving her notepad into Kurt's hand with some lyrics written on it. Kurt sighed and resigned himself to weaseling the truth out of Finn later.

* * *

><p>"I'm still not down with this," Finn said as Quinn went over the plan for him and Sam for about the thousandth time. "You," he pointed to Puck, "are the asshole who went after both of my girlfriend's multiple times. You," he pointed to Quinn, "were a prude with me and then slept with my best friend and then convinced me later to get back together with you so you could be Prom Queen. You," he pointed to Santana, "stole my virginity to be popular-"<p>

"And to make Willow mad," Santana said with a smirk, not at all bothered.

"The only one I owe here is Sam," Finn said with an apologetic look at his friend.

"Well, I'm cashing in, dude. You owe me one, and I owe Kurt and Puck one." Sam shrugged. He was so laid-back it hadn't been tough to get him involved, even if it meant working with the woman who had broken his heart.

"Finn, we need your help," Quinn said. "You're the only one of us Kurt trusts enough right now."

"He trusts you more than I trust you," Puck said unhelpfully.

"I don't think he does anymore," was all Quinn said, and Puck had to wonder what was going on in her devious mind. "We _need_ you, Finn."

"Come on, bro, you owe me," Sam said.

"Fine, but I still don't think you deserve my little brother," he said to Puck, who shrugged.

"And what is my role in all of this?" Santana asked. "Finn's the bait, you're the mastermind, Sam's working on the rest of the club because he has clout, and Puck's the idiot we're all helping."

"You're going to be helping me with something else." Quinn had a plan, and she needed all of them. Even Rachel, though no one else knew she was involved.

"What makes you so sure this is going to work?" Puck asked, and Quinn rolled her eyes.

"Because I'm a lot smarter than you and I planned this very carefully during our airplane ride. Trust me." Quinn straightened up on the bed, checking her notebook to see what each of their first steps should be. "Finn, go see if you can convince Mike to help first, and then go chat with Kurt. If he asks what we were talking about, say we are all planning a way to sneak out and enjoy New York City, see if you can get him on board. Use what I gave you if you have to. The place we want him to meet 'you' at is near the Balto statue in Central Park at 6. Rachel won't say anything." She sent Finn off with a wave of her hand. "Sam, go over to the other bed and ask Artie to back off Tina first, explaining it to him. Then have Artie help you convince Brittany, Tina, and most importantly, Mercedes. Make sure to tell them to talk to Kurt about Puck." Sam walked off, taking a seat on the bed next to them and giving Mercedes a kiss. "Puck, look through my iPod and see if any song in the Justin Beiber playlist catches your eye." Puck frowned, but grabbed Quinn's green iPod touch anyway. "Santana, see if you can get reservations at any two of these restaurants, both for seven o'clock, just make sure both reservations aren't for the same place, but go sit by Mike and Finn or something. We need to disperse. Puck, I'll stay with you, you probably need the most help."

"Great," Puck said, rolling his eyes. Quinn wasn't sure if it was at her or at her iPod. "Do any of us common folk get to take a peek at Queen Quinn's master plan?"

"It would just confuse you," Quinn said, placing her notebook on the bed closed. "And before you despair at all the songs Justin Beiber has done, I already picked one out. I just want you to listen to it, and then we have to discuss the rest of your part of the plan."

"Great, more personal shit." Quinn took the iPod from Puck, pulled up _Boyfriend_, and handed it back to him.

"This one should be perfect, with a little bit of editing, but I have an edited version of the lyrics in my notebook if you want to read along." Quinn ripped the page out of her notebook, making Puck pout when he realized his opportunity to peek was gone, and handed it over.

Puck's expression got more and more sour as he read and listened. By the time the two minute and forty-eight second long song was done, he looked absolutely peeved. "Quinn, this is _so_ gay."

"That's the idea," Quinn said.

"I'm pretty sure this is gayer than the original," Puck said, glaring.

"Don't worry, by the time I teach the boys your accompaniment, it will be considerably less gay. You can keep those lyrics, considering you need to learn the song by tonight. I wish we had more time, but alas, someone had to choose to break his boyfriend's heart just a few days before a major competition during which we can't afford all of this drama to happen." Quinn rolled her eyes again. "Learn."

To: Rachel  
><em>'How are things going with convincing Kurt that getting back together with Noah is a bad idea?<em>

Quinn got her answer a few minutes later, once Rachel felt it was safe to text without it looking like she was replying to Quinn and Puck had asked her at least four times who she was texting, each time to which she replied, "Learn."

From: Rachel  
><strong>'While I'm still not entirely sure as to your motivations in this, I have managed to convince him that while I think forgiveness is essential to the team, he has no chance with Noah and the bastard doesn't deserve him anyway. Okay?'<strong>

To: Rachel  
><em>'Perfect. Everything is falling into place.'<em>

From: Rachel  
><strong>'And people say I'm crazy. May I go back to writing the perfect song now?'<strong>

To: Rachel  
><em>'You are, and sure<em>.'

"You turn into Coach Sylvester a little bit more every day, don't you?" Puck asked when Quinn put down her phone with a vindictive smile on her face.

"Learn."

* * *

><p>Rachel had stood up and loudly declared that she needed to make an emergency feminine hygiene products run about ten minutes ago, dragging Quinn and Santana away with claims of the buddy system and her travel buddy not being sufficient because he was immature, and also not a woman, giving Kurt the chance to survey the room without Rachel surveying him.<p>

Finn had been talking to Mike and Santana, and had now moved over onto the bed with Mercedes, Tina, Sam, and Brittany on it. Artie hadn't said anything to Tina in the last fifteen minutes, and Mike looked much more relaxed. Santana had been on her cell phone the entire time, before she was dragged off by Rachel, who had been texting, presumably Jesse, and writing songs. So much for 'no boys, no distractions.' Puck was looking at something Quinn had given him unhappily, with her ear buds in his ears, connected to her iPod. He hadn't changed the song since he got it.

Brittany caught Kurt's attention when she stood up, prancing over to the other bed and tapping The World's Biggest Douchebag's shoulder. He listened to whatever she was saying and nodded, giving her a smile, the kind of smile that he gave only Brittany and his little sister. She smiled in return, skipping back over and seating herself on Artie's lap, showing her notebook and clearly asking him the same thing she had asked The World's Biggest Douchebag. Artie nodded too, and Brittany smiled and stood up, gesturing to the both of them, who had identical 'right now?' expressions.

Finn took the opportunity to stand up and take Rachel's vacated armchair, smiling at Kurt. Good, now Kurt had the opportunity to grill him.

"I have a song for you guys," Brittany announced happily. "Puckie has agreed to play for me, and Artie's singing it with me, right Artie?"

"Yeah, sure," Artie said, giving her an uncertain smile. Mike's smile, on the other hand, was blinding. He obviously saw this as an opportunity for Brittany and Artie to get back together, and for him to have no worries about Tina again.

"Great. Everybody ready?" Brittany asked, shifting their operation to over in front of the window seat so everyone could see them. She nodded to Puck and turned around, obviously ready to dance along to her song.

_In the middle of the night, I'm in bed alone  
>Don't care if you're glass, paper, styrofoam<br>When I need some water, baby, __**coffee or gin  
>You're the only thing, I wanna put them in<strong>_

_**My cup, my cup  
>Sayin' what's up to my cup, my cup<br>More of a friend than a silly pup, my cup  
>You know what it is<strong>_

_**I'm sayin' what's up to my cup (Ahh)  
>I'm sayin' what's up to my cup (Ahh)<br>I'm sayin' what's up to my cup (Ahh)**_

Everyone clapped kind of awkwardly, the entire atmosphere saying 'did that really just happen?'

"Hold on," Tina said, sitting next to a very smug-looking Mike. "Are you singing about a cup?"

"Yeah, totally." Tina sighed.

"Brittany, that was great, but I think we need to expand our topic a little. Let's get back to writing," Artie said, speaking gently to Brittany as everyone else did.

"I think that's an awesome prelude to what I'm here to talk to you about, dude," Finn said, turning to Kurt.

"Don't call me dude," Kurt admonished automatically. It had been hard enough breaking Finn's habit of trying to ruffle his hair, he didn't need this to replace it.

"Quinn came up with a plan to get us out of here. She said something about mattresses and bathroom cups not being good inspiration and a bunch of other awesome stuff that I wish I could repeat for you, but I think you should come with." Finn gave him that crooked-grin that a year ago would have made him melt into a puddle. But a lot had chanced.

"You want me to come out on the town with you, Sam, the girl who's trying to steal my ex, the world's biggest slut, and the boy who just broke my heart into tiny pieces. No thank you, Finnegan."

Finn pouted at him. "Come on, dude. Sam's totally convincing Artie, Mercedes, Tina, and Brittany to come along, and I already convinced Mike. The only person who's not coming is Rachel."

"I could definitely use a break from her," Kurt said, and then it occurred to him. This was what all the whispering and planning was about. Quinn got someone (The World's Biggest Douchebag) who was used to breaking the rules to help her, introduced it to the people that were rebellious _and_ had clout, and was keeping it from Rachel at all costs. The only mystery now was why Rachel seemed to be ignoring the signs. Maybe she figured she should try to keep herself as innocent as possible, or maybe she thinks they're only holding her back. Either way, it made sense.

"Fine, but I'm still not happy about hanging out with... him," Kurt said, pointing to The World's Biggest Douchebag with a glare.

"Come on, Kurt, don't be so hard on Puck. He's actually programmed to be an asshole sometimes." Kurt looked at Finn incredulously.

"I'm sorry, weren't you all gung-ho about me being separate from Puck at all costs? And now that I am you're okay with us? What is going on with you? What's going on with _everybody_?" Kurt said, extremely frustrated.

"We had a long talk, one of those uncomfortable ones where you have to start everything with 'dude' so it doesn't get too gay. Uh... no offense." Kurt rolled his eyes. "He really likes you, he's just kind of emotionally retarded."

"Did Quinn teach you that phrase?" Kurt asked, picking up on it immediately.

"Maybe. But don't be too hard on him, alright." Finn offered him a fist to bump, which he accepted with a sigh.

"So what's the plan?" he asked. "For escaping," he clarified when Finn gave him a confused look.

"Quinn's going to run interference with Mr. Schue, we're all gonna escape, go in different directions, and meet up in different locations. You're gonna meet me at Central Park at 6." Kurt frowned. That didn't make sense.

"Getting out of the hotel is the hard part. Why all the splitting up?" Finn shrugged.

"Quinn's the smart one. You kind of just go with it. She might have said something about the separate pieces of New York we'll see to begin with will inspire us or something," Finn said helplessly, and Kurt accepted it.

"Fine. Central Park at 6." Everyone he knew was an idiot. Now, what was Mr. Schuester up to?

"Awesome. Oh, here's a song she gave me that New York inspired her on, if you wanted to listen to it." Finn handed Kurt a CD and left.

"Oh, Quinn. A CD?"

* * *

><p>"You don't really need tampons, do you?" Quinn asked as Rachel continued to drag she and Santana through the lobby and out of the hotel.<p>

"Of course not. A Berry is always prepared," Rachel said with a roll of her eyes. "I needed to talk and I had a feeling you two needed to escape for your part of the plan, so I figured we could get 'lost.' I hate lying, but I feel it is necessary, and as amazing as I am, I don't know the entire street map of New York City... yet. I do know there's a CVS at West 42nd and 10th though, if anyone really does need tampons."

"Nope, we're good, Berry. Now, if you would please explain to me, Q, why Rachel The Stick Ass Berry is being so cool... and knows about your plan, for that matter," Santana said, simultaneously flipping off a guy who whistled at her and said something in Spanish.

"Rachel's a part of it and by six o'clock tonight at Central Park, _everyone_ will be a part of it. You only know about your part of the master plan, Santana," Quinn said, rolling her eyes.

"You're getting very similar to Coach, and it's freakin' me out," which wasn't necessarily an insult from Santana.

"That's what Puck said."

"So what are you and Santana up to?" Rachel asked, walking down the street towards 8th, clearly with an idea of where she was going.

"Q and I are making Asshole's date plans for him because he fucked up so badly he can't fix it all for himself," Santana snarled. Despite her prickly attitude, she had been... not necessarily _happy_ to help, but willing at least.

"Speaking of date plans," Quinn began, following Rachel blindly to appease her, "we might have had to make a deal with Finn."

"While I'm fully confident in your planning ideas considering the way you shcemed to get my... FInn back on multiple occasions, I don't like where you're going with this," Rahcel said, not stopping to address Quinn, and yes, maybe the cheerleader could see how Rachel belonged in this city. She bumped into people and was bumped into without reaction, following the flow of New York in a way that made it seem like she was a part of the big, unending machine.

"Finn made me promise to get him a date with you in order to help us out with this plan." Rachel huffed frustradedly, stopping and turning.

"Quinn, I made a promise to myself _and_ to Kurt. No boys and no distractions."

"Come on, Bobby Socks, take one for the team. Isn't that what you're always preaching about?" Santana asked, putting her hands on her hips to match Rachel's pose.

Rachel turned a one-eighty with a huff and set off again. "Fine, but I don't like this. When would this dat ebe?" Despite her objections, a hint of excitement peeped into her tone.

"It will be at the same time as Kurt and Puck's, just to ensure that Kurt doesn't realize it's a bribe. We're planning both of your dates, and you can leave just after Kurt and Puck do. We can assure that the two of you won't cross paths." Rachel sighed.

"I can't believe you agreed to that without consulting me. What would you have done if I had said no? This entire plan is dependent on me."

"Sure, if you wanna think that," Santana muttered, and Quinn elbowed her.

"You're right, Rachel. We _need_ you, and that's why you couldn't have said no if I had told you that. You wouldn't be able to let us, or _Kurt_, down." Rachel sighed again.

"Fine. As a loyal Glee club captain, I am obligated to go on a date with Finn in order to resolve the conflict within our team." Rachel frowned. "And the line at the Shake Shack's too long for us to wait in it, so I don't have the time to argue with you."

"We should probably get back to the hotel before they come looking for us," Quinn agreed, and Rachel, Santana, and Quinn, possibly the most unlikely trio that had ever walked the streets of New York City, headed back to the Intercontinental Times Square.

* * *

><p><strong> AN: I am really sorry for the wait on this. I had major writer's block and then carpal tunnel, and there are all sorts of reasons that I don't want to bore you with. I would have apologize at the top, but I was convinced that after three months you would be eager to get right to the writing. I messed with canon a little, and I will continue to do so. Next chapter Quinn's master plan will go into effect, and it's amazing what this girl can do. If anyone asks for the mast plan, I will post it on my LiveJournal. You'll have to wait for my rewritten Justin Beiber lyrics though. Did you seriously think I would use the word 'swag'? Ever?**

**Because someone asked: YES, I am switching between Puck and The World's Biggest Douchebag on purpose. It's not to confuse you guys, either. It's because it's very hard to stay *that* mad at someone for *that* long, and it's Kurt's small, subconscious step towards forgiving him.  
><strong>

**Songs used/mentioned:  
><strong>'_Loser Like Me_' by Glee Cast (mentioned)  
>'<em>Defying Gravity<em>' from _Wicked_ (mentioned)  
>'<em>Sit Down You're Rocking the Boat<em>' from _Guys and Dolls_ (mentioned)  
>'<em>New York, New York<em>' by Frank Sinatra  
>'<em>Get It Right<em>' by Glee Cast (mentioned)(twice)  
>'<em>Boyfriend<em>' by Justin Bieber (mentioned... for now)  
>'<em>My Cup<em>' by Glee Cast

**Reviews are Love. Even if I don't deserve them because I'm a horrible updater.**


	20. How to Con Someone Into a Date

The moment Kurt went into the hall to answer a call from his very protective father, who probably wasn't very pleased with Puck, the room sprang into action.

"All right. By this time, everyone should be informed of my plan," Quinn said, speaking quietly but still demanding attention in the way that had made her a great head cheerleader. "Who's on board?"

"I think we all are," Sam said casually, and everyone nodded their heads in reply.

"Great!" Quinn said optimistically. "So, girls, your job is to as subtly as possible talk to Kurt about the idea of Noah not being so bad. He trusts you, ladies, and we depend on you." Quinn gestured between herself and Puck as she said 'we.' "Boys, you're the accompaniment, along with the local band boys Santana and I coerced. Here are your parts," Quinn gestured to Rachel who eagerly passed them out, each of their names written on the top surrounded by little hearts, "Artie or Sam will be doing the guitar pieces so that Puck can be free to sing directly to Kurt. The words are changed, so don't think you can avoid learning them. Santana, how goes planning?"

"Everything's set up," Santana responded with a roll of her eyes, handing Quinn the paper that had all the phone numbers on it.

"Fantastic! Everything's falling into place!" Quinn was acting a little too like Rachel for Puck's comfort. "Finn, you've convinced Kurt to meet you at Central Park at six, correct?"

"Yeah, Quinn, I'm not that much of an idiot." Finn was obviously still a little upset with his ex-girlfriend. Puck didn't blame him, she always seemed to be harsher around Finn, like she expected more from him always.

"All right, get learning!" Quinn went back to whatever masterminding she was doing with the girls, which involved that scary notebook of hers, and Santana came to lay with him on the bed that he had claimed.

"She's bat-shit crazy, isn't she?" Santana asked, reclining next to him with very meticulous date plans in her hand.

"You're helping her, bitch."

"So are you, whore. Besides, _she_ thinks this is going to work." Santana scoffed.

"You don't?" Puck asked, looking over the new lyrics for the thousandth time just so Quinn won't approach him to talk about anything else. He loved that girl like a sister, but he'd had it with her recently. She was losing it.

"You do?" Santana asked him. "Have you seen these?" Santana handed him the plans for his date with Kurt that he had absolutely no say in.

Puck rolled his eyes as he took Santana's notes. Puck knew that Quinn believed this would be the magic fix and Kurt would lo-like him again as soon as the first notes of _Boyfriend_ popped out of his newly-acquired boy bands' mouths. It wasn't that she was stupid, she was just acting a little blonde. Kurt was _peeved_, more peeved than he'd ever been at Blaine or Finn, and nothing Puck did was going to be the magic fix. Plus, he started at a disadvantage anyway. Between the guys that had already broken Kurt's heart and his own only-partially-earned rep, there was no way that Kurt was going to be jumping on Quinn's 'let's forgive Puck' bandwagon. Also, Kurt agreed with him that Justin Beiber was super lame.

Puck knows Kurt, better than he thought he ever would. Kurt wasn't anyway near ready to forgive him, and Puck wouldn't push the issue right now if Quinn wasn't forcing him. Q seemed near going crazy, though, and arguing with her would be the stupidest idea he'd ever had. Even worse than punching a cop. Kurt needed some time, but he obviously wasn't going to get it.

"She's crazy," Puck said as a simple summary of his thoughts, handing Santana back her notes. Santana nodded in agreement. "Crazy Quinn."

"CQ at 12 o'clock. Later, sucker," she said with a smirk as Quinn approached the bed and she quickly vacated it.

"Puck, we need to talk about your role in this plan," Quinn said as she sat next to him, the whole room still abuzz. Mercedes, Tina, and Brittany had created a space on the bed next to them for when Kurt came back, the other guys were humming as they worked out the accompaniment, Sam messing around with it on his guitar.

"I thought all I had to do was sing and look pretty," he said, trying to look very absorbed in his lyrics so Q will leave.

"Of course not. The date is probably the most crucial part," Quinn said, stealing the lyrics out of his hands and forcing him to talk to her.

"Quinn, I think I've wined and dined enough women to know how dates work," Puck said, lounging and trying to ignore her while having nothing else to do.

"Yes, but those were dates with the sole intention of getting into the girl's pants," Quinn said, wrinkling up her nose. "This is the opposite: a date where you have to prove you're _not_ just trying to get into his pants."

"Q, it'll be fine."

"You need to tell him everything you told me on that airplane," Quinn demanded.

"Quinn, do you know what the word _gay_ means?" Puck asked, only a little bit sarcastically.

"Yes," Quinn said, confused.

"It means he wants a _man_, not a sniveling sissy. There's no way I'm doing that." Quinn sighed.

"If you can't be open and honest with-"

"You know what? _Can it_. You don't know anything about him or me or how this is going to go. So go back to be the puppet master, but lay off me and stop acting like Rachel's blonde twin." Puck snatched the lyrics out of Quinn's hands and lied back down, leaving Quinn to stand up, straighten out her dress, and huff off towards Santana. Good, let that bitch deal with her.

"Red alert! Red alert!" Rachel yelped as soon as Puck was almost relaxed again. "I talked to that bellboy that was mildly cute downstairs and convinced him to text me when he saw Mr. Schue, and Mr. Schue's in the lobby. Abort!"

"Would you calm down?" Kurt demanded, and Puck jumped again. He hadn't realized Kurt was back in the room. "We're not doing anything wrong, except for the fact that we haven't come up with anything good, and we don't owe anything to the man who's spent the last two hours in New York 'filling out paperwork'." Kurt didn't need air quotes, they could be heard in his voice.

"Of course, but we have to have something!"

"A good thing to have right now would be duct tape," Kurt said with a roll of his eyes, going to sit on the bed with Mercedes, Tina, and Brittany, purposefully not looking over at Puck. The badass ignored how that kind of hurt.

Mr. Schue came up the stairs a few minutes later, smiling like he did whenever he was around Ms. Pillsbury (gross). "Hey, guys, what do you have?"

"Nothing!" Quinn stood up before Rachel could. "And would you like to know why we have nothing, Mr. Schue?"

"Yes, Quinn, I would love to." Mr. Schue was obviously not impressed with Quinn's accusatory tone.

"Because you have us locked in this hotel where our only inspirations are mattresses and bathroom cups. How do you expect us to write in this dingy hotel room? We don't need to write songs for Nationals. New York's going to write them for us."

"The city is calling us, Mr. Schuester," Rachel added eagerly.

"We're in the artist capital of the world," Puck agreed to get away from Quinn, standing up. "Poets, musicians, actors, playwrights, every dreamer that's ever lived has passed through this city. And if we want our dreams to come true, we need to be out there with them, not stuck in here." Puck kicked the bed frame and pretended not to notice the look of begrudging admiration he got from Kurt.

"Look, guys, I know you want to explore New York," Mr. Schuester began in that condescending tone which meant that they were about to be denied whatever they wanted, "but Nationals is important. If we get a lot done today, we'll be able to explore the city more tomorrow, between rehearsals. Now, guys get into your room next door, girl stay here, and see if you can manage to be productive. I need to go. Kurt, boys' room."

Mr. Schue left this time without any explanation, waiting until the boys (including a reluctant Kurt) headed to their room before closing the girls' door. Kurt waited about three minutes in the boys' dorm once Mr. Schue had left before saying 'goodbye, boys' with a disparaging glance at Puck, and leaving.

"Quinn's smart enough to realize he's going to walk in there, right?" Finn asked, looking nervous. "He's not going to walk in on them talking about the plan, right?"

"Relax, Finnessa, she's not that stupid," Puck flopped back down on his bed.

"Can I try something out on you guys?" Finn asked. "I think one of our songs should be a duet with me and Rachel, and since I seem to be the only one writing-"

"Now you _sound _like Rachel," Puck added.

"I just wanted to run it by you guys. I'm sure the girls will be more upset."

"I just want to win," Mike said, playing with some of his choreographing paper that Tina got him. "We all know that you two doing a duet is our best shot at that."

"Awesome," Finn said with one of his dopey smiles.

"Okay, can we just talk about the Jewish elephant in the room?" Puck demanded, placing the lyrics on his chest where he was lying on the couch. "Ask her out, dude. And not this crappy bribe date that Santana's setting up, the real thing. I've done some bad shit but even I don't use dates as bribes."

"Rachel's totally into Jesse right now, this is the only way I can convince her to go out with me."

"Are you sure about that?" Puck asked, glad they were off the topic of 'the plan'. "You're in New York, the city of love."

"Iout tha wa aris," Sam mumbled with his mouth full, but Puck ignored him.

"Anything's possible here. Don't let this turn into the most awkward night ever because Quinn thinks she knows how to pull all the strings. Take her on one of those big, awful dates you see in those unwatchable romantic comedies that you grow a vagina if you watch all the way through, but not one that Quinn and Santana picked out."

"You don't think it's going to work, do you?" Artie was the first one to ask in the tense silence following his statement to Finn.

"Do you?"

* * *

><p>"We should have one of those pillow fights in our underwear like in movies," Brittany said as soon as Kurt walked in the door.<p>

"What kind of movies are you watching?" he asked immediately, and then regretted it when Santana grinned.

"Actually, I think we should all talk," Quinn said, with a subtle wink at Santana.

"Of course you do, queen bee, I'm sure you and Rachel want to jam your noses in everyone's business. Guess what? Stay out." Santana rolled her eyes.

"The last thing we need to do right now is think about drama," Tina pointed out.

"I disagree. What we need to do right now in order to win is solve our drama, and Santana's only saying that because she doesn't want to face her problems."

"Well, I don't have drama. Neither does Mercedes and neither does Kurt."

"You wanna say that Hummel doesn't have drama?" Santana said with a snort. "Please, he just got his ass dumped and bruised by Puckerman."

"Santana," Rachel said firmly.

"It's true, and he's smart enough not to take the asshole back."

"Santana, that's not nice," Brittany said with a frown. "Just because Puckie can be a little silly, it doesn't mean he's not a dolphin and in dolphin love with Kurt."

"I think Puckerman has well and truly proven that he's not anywhere near in love with me," Kurt said sourly.

"But he does like you," Tina argued, and Kurt, Rachel, and Santana all turned to glare at her. "What? Puck and Mike talk, and all Puck talks about is _you_."

"It's true," Mercedes chimed. "I think Sam's sick of hearing your name at this point."

"All the boys are," Tina said.

"Have you all lost your minds?" Kurt demanded. "Mercedes two days ago you hated Puck with a burning fiery passion and couldn't believe that I was dating him."

"Yeah, but now I know you actually like him. Before I thought you were just looking for a little bit of post-break-up... mojo."

"Mercedes!"

"I promise mojo is the word I meant, white boy, get your head out of the gutter." Mercedes rolled her eyes.

"Puck's gutter," Santana murmured with a smirk.

"Santana!" Kurt and Rachel shrieked simultaneously.

"I mean it, white boy. I know what Puck did was _awful_, but doesn't everyone deserve a second chance? You're friend with Blaine now. You gave Finn a second chance. And a third chance. And a fourth chance. What chance is he even on now?"

"Mercedes, Finn and Blaine never did _this_. They never played me and acted like they wanted more and all they wanted was sex."

"Blaine did," Tina piped up. "He did exactly that, and you've managed to delude yourself into thinking that he didn't."

"No," Kurt argued. "Blaine did care about me, he just made a mistake that I couldn't forgive him for."

"So did Puck, and he cares about you too."

"If I couldn't forgive Blaine, why would I forgive Puck?"

"Because you care about Puck. Puck _knows_ you, and you know him." Kurt sighed at Tina's rational argument.

"I cared about Blaine."

"Not like this, white boy," Mercedes jumped in. "I know you too. You care way more about Puck then you ever did about Blaine, because he can match you fire for fire and drive you absolutely insane... in more ways than one." She smirked.

"Mercedes. Mind. Gutter. Again."

"You've all lost it, haven't you?" Rachel asked.

"And yet we're still saner than you," Mercedes commented under her breath, making Tina laugh.

"Puck broke Kurt's heart, knowingly hurting him in exactly the way Blaine did. Puck put him back together after what happened with Blaine only to tear him right back down and open up the same wounds. That's cold, and cruel, and not something you do to someone you care about," Rachel pointed out self-righteously.

"I hate to agree with Hobbit, but I have to. Puck's an asshole, dump him."

"Santana, just because he didn't care about you..." Kurt paused. "Great, now you all have me _defending_ him. I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"Fine," Mercedes said. "But I know it'll be all you're thinking about."

"I think that pillow fight sounds good now," he said stubbornly.

* * *

><p>"Central Park is so beautiful," Kurt muttered to himself as he headed up the path towards the Balto statue, glad that Google maps knew where that was. Did Finn expect him to have the entirety of Central Park memorized? "Moron," he murmured as he scanned the sparse crowd for his brother's towering figure, looking around at all the bright balloons and the magicians entertaining all the children who recognized the husky from the beloved movie.<p>

Puck. Puck was the one standing below the Balto statue, right where he was supposed to meet Finn. Dammit. "I've been duped," Kurt announced, and Puck's eyes snapped up to meet his.

"Yeah, just a little." Kurt tried to ignore how cute his smile was and the lump that was forming in his throat.

"This is two Machiavellian for Finn, who... Quinn. Of course." Kurt sighed. This was what they had all been up to. What were they planning?

"Yeah, she's kind of been the crazy puppet master since we stepped off the plane. Maybe even earlier," Puck shuddered and Kurt tried hard not to giggle. Why couldn't he stay mad at him?

"Quinn!" he called for her and almost jumped when she called out from under the bridge.

"Here, my very upset darling." She smiled gently at an increasingly upset Kurt.

"I don't know what you think you're doing, but-"

"Three minutes," Quinn interrupted before Puck could. "Three minutes and I promise you'll want to listen to him. Puck scoffed as he went to go stand in front of all the New Directions and some people Kurt didn't know. "Have a little faith, Noah," she whispered.

"I've got faith in something," he muttered as he took his place and Quinn gestured to the makeshift band to start. One down beat, two down beats, three, four...

_If you were my boyfriend, I'd never let you go  
>I can take you places you ain't never been before<br>Princess, take a chance or you'll never ever know  
>Come on be my man or walk right out the door<br>That okay, with you?_

Kurt rolled his eyes as Puck called him princess, and also at his song choice. The instrumentals sounded a little off, a little too deep to be for Justin Beiber. Maybe they had just adjusted them for Puck. The badass pointed to Quinn as he sang the next line. Puck was trying to get into it, trying to sell Quinn's plan as best he could just so the ex-cheerleader wouldn't murder him.

_Come on over boy, we'll do whatever's in her queue  
>I don't know about me but I know about you<br>So say hello to my tenor in three, two_

_I'd like to be everything you want  
>Hey, boy, let me talk to ya<em>

Puck walked out from singing with his boy band and instrumentalists, and sang directly to Kurt at the bridge, who was looking around nervously, obviously aware of the attention they had garnered at Central Park mid-evening. Quinn had planned this like people planned public proposals, hoping fear of embarrassing Puck would stop Kurt from saying no.

_If you were my boyfriend, I'd never let you go  
>Keep you on my arm, boy, you'd never be alone<br>I can be your gentleman, anything you want  
>If you were my boyfriend, I'd never let you go, I'd never let you go<em>

_Tell me what you like yeah, tell me what you don't  
>I could be your superman, babe, fly across the globe<br>I don't ever want to fight, yeah, you already know  
>I wanna keep you in my life and that's for sure<em>

Kurt tried not to laugh as Puck sang and acted out 'superman', knowing it was a reference to his performance of _Holding Out For a Hero_ before their first date and being simultaneously annoyed and sad.

_Boyfriend, boyfriend, you could be my boyfriend  
>You could be my boyfriend until the w-w-world ends<br>Kiss you every day that's what I'm promising  
>You can be the queen and I can be your king and...<em>

_I'd like to be everything you want  
>Hey, boy, let me talk to ya<em>

_If you were my boyfriend, I'd never let you go  
>Keep you on my arm, boy, you'd never be alone<br>I can be your gentleman, anything you want  
>If you were my boyfriend, I'd never let you go, I'd never let you go<em>

_So give me a chance, 'cause you're all I need, Kurt  
>Spend a week with your boy, you'll be callin' me your boyfriend<br>If I was your man, I'd never leave you, boy  
>I just want to love and treat you right<em>

Kurt's first thought on that was 'very subtle'. His second bemoaned the fact that Puck's boy band still looked a little uncomfortable addressing the song directly, despite the fact it was obviously for him, and they were in New York City, the most accepting place in the universe.

_If you were my boyfriend, I'd never let you go  
>Keep you on my arm, boy, you'd never be alone<br>I can be your gentleman, anything you want  
>If you were my boyfriend, I'd never let you go, I'd never let you go<em>

_Na na na, na na na, na na na  
>Yeah princess<br>Na na na, na na na, na na na ey  
>If you were my boyfriend<br>Na na na, na na na, na na na ey  
>Na na na, na na na, na na na ey<br>If you were my boyfriend_

Puck and the boys ended in a typical boy band pose, and all the girls looked so pleased with themselves. Everyone in the park was clapping and cheering, a few yelling things like 'go get him.' Kurt would enjoy what he was about to do.

"Are you kidding me?" he asked bluntly, and Quinn's face fell almost instantly. "You've _got_ to be kidding me. The only thing this song proves is that Puck's comfortable with the word 'boyfriend' now, which I'm sure will be a relief for his next one." Kurt went to storm off and was held up by Puck's next words, which sadly weren't even directed towards him.

"Finn, you owe me ten bucks." Kurt heard Finn grumble and turned around.

"What?" Kurt asked, incredulous.

"I bet that you would hate this, and that it wouldn't convince you at all," Puck said smoothly, hoping he wasn't about to be castrated. "I was right."

"So now you think you know me?" Kurt demanded, storming towards Puck and trying to ignore Tina's words ringing in his ears.

"I'm not a blonde, excited, master-minded female, but even I know that a song is no kind of apology for what I did to you." Kurt took a step back, totally thrown at the maturity of Puck's words and the honesty of his tone.

"Well, you've got one thing right," Kurt said, less angry and more bewildered.

"You have no reason to take me back or forgive me even a little bit," Puck said logically, putting his hands in his pockets. Kurt then stopped to look at what he was wearing. It wasn't something Quinn picked out for him, but it was definitely date clothes, nice jeans and a button-up with a little wear that brought out his eyes. He looked ridiculously handsome.

"Correct again," Kurt said, trying to remain cold.

"Then I have just one question for you," Puck said, taking a few steps forward until the gap between them was only about two feet. "Why are you still here?" Kurt froze. "What I did is unforgivable. I know that. Quinn, Mercedes, Tina, and even Santana have spent the last few days drilling that into my head. But you're different. You're curious. You want to know why I did and why I thought I could get away with it and why I'm doing this," Puck said, pointing back at his boy band with a thumb. "And I can tell you all of that in about ten minutes, or I can tell you that during a trip to Sardi's. On me."

"Why would I want to go to the birthplace of the Tony Award with you?" Kurt said, still reeling.

"It doesn't have to be Sardi's. We could go to Shula's Steakhouse, or Ruby Foo's. Anywhere you want to." Kurt gathered his thoughts, hating that Puck was right. He _did _want to know what was going on, but he also didn't like this calm, cool, mature Puck right now. He should be upset and hopeful and...

"Why are you acting like you don't care about me at all?" Kurt said, throwing Puck's questioning back in his face and turning the table. "Why haven't you even tried to apologize beyond whatever the hell that was?" He gestured to the boy band. "When did you turn to stone?"

"Kurt, look," Puck said, and his expression cracked a little bit as he took the step between them so they were face-to-face, mostly. His expression cracked just enough that Kurt could see how much he wanted to say. "I want to tell you everything, but we can't talk here. Okay?"

Kurt paused, knowing everyone in the park, everyone in the New Directions, and Puck (and even himself) was holding their breath waiting for an answer. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but... okay." Puck let out the breath he was holding and Rachel cheered quickly before being shushed by Finn. "But you are definitely taking me to Sardi's. If I have to deal with you for an entire evening, I'm definitely ringing a delicious, _expensive_ meal out of it."

Puck laughed. "Deal."

* * *

><p>Kurt had been surprised when Puck said 'reservation for Puckerman' and he was feeling a little duped, but it was worth it to be at Sardi's. The gorgeous red interior was covered in caricatures of the biggest stars in existence, a huge one of Hugh Jackman taking center stage behind the maître d'. Kurt was even more surprised when they were lead to one of the tables that were partially booth on the ground floor, which were usually the spots reserved for either rich people or famous stars. How had Puck swung this?<p>

Now, however, Kurt was less than impressed. They had ordered drinks, Puck taking advantage of the fact that most people considered getting carded rude and thus waiters at Sardi's rarely carded. Now, they were sitting across from one another silently staring each other down.

"Are you running this show, or am I?" Kurt asked finally, breaking the silence but not the stare contest.

"You're the one with all the questions," Puck replied in the same tone, but his entire demeanor had changed, his shoulders were slumped, his posture was inwardly drawn. He looked defeated.

"How did Quinn orchestrate all this?" Kurt asked, probably the least important question on his mind, but it made Puck laugh and sit up a little straighter.

"You'd have to ask her that one. I have no idea. One moment everyone hated me and was in support of you never, ever speaking to me again and the next, 'poof' everyone was on my side." He shrugged. "That girl could work wonders if she actually understood people well enough to know what the appropriate plan would be."

"And in that way, she reminds me of a slightly saner Rachel," Kurt said with a smile, and he _knew_ he was being drawn in, but he couldn't help it. "Why'd you do it?"

"You're going to have to be a little more specific," Puck said, taking a sip of his beer and ignoring the frantic texts and calls that were causing his phone to vibrate silently in his pocket every few seconds.

"Why did you con me into caring about you?" Puck ignored the prejudice in the question.

"I wanted to help you," Puck said, speaking quickly so Kurt couldn't interrupt him. "After what happened with Lame... it sucked to see you upset. I didn't know why, I still don't. It just did. So I broke his nose and I comforted you and we became friends. I screwed up sometimes, and I know it took you a while to get over the dumpster thing."

"The _dumpster thing_?" Kurt asked disbelievingly, hating how Puck made it seem like no big deal.

"I'm not trying to justify what I did, Kurt, but that was a long time ago."

"Isn't this whole speech trying to justify what you did?"

"Touche." Puck raised his glass to Kurt. "I'm not blind. You're hot. At first I figured we'd hookup and then go back to normal, like me and Santana."

"How I love being compared to her."

"Then you told me you liked me and I didn't know what to do. I don't do _feelings_ well," Puck admitted with a shrug. "So, I just continued with my original plan, and everything got messy."

"You told me you cared about me," Kurt accused. "You deceived me into thinking that you were okay with a relationship. You... you... you tried to get me in the backseat on a first date. You avoided the words 'dating,' 'boyfriend,' and 'relationship' like the plague." Kurt sighed. "Great. We were both stupid."

"I do care about you," Puck admitted, and Kurt realized this was probably the first deep conversation he and Puck had ever had. Ever. "I thought at first it was like a friend or little brother-"

"Thanks for that creepy thought."

"And then I realized I want to bang you-"

"Way to tell it like it is."

"And now... now I care about you so much it freakin' scares me." Kurt shuddered a bit at the raw honesty in Puck's voice and eyes. "I don't know what to do, Kurt."

"Why does that scare you so much?" Kurt asked, knowing it wasn't an easy question to answer. "Why are you so afraid of feelings, of caring about someone?"

"There are four people in the world that I love," Puck began, and Kurt was barely breathing. Why were they talking about love all of the sudden? "My mom and sister, and my two adopted siblings, Finn and Quinn. There used to be a fifth person and he kind of fucked me up for the rest of the world."

"Your father?" Kurt prompted when Puck didn't say anything else for a few minutes.

"Yeah, my asshole dad," Puck snarled. "He used to beat my mom," Kurt tried but failed not to gasp, "and I never considered it above him to lay a hand on his children, but he never got the chance. I used to run to Finn's house, jumping out my window to get out of the house without going through the window. A lot of the time they argued about whoever he was sleeping with on the side. He had some other kids, half-siblings I haven't heard about since he left. When Sarah came I used to take her with me to Finn's, even when she was so small that she wasn't allowed outside the house. She was premature," he answered in response to Kurt's confused look. Puck sighed. "When he left-"

"What may I get for you two fine young fellows?" the immaculately dressed waiter asked in a British accent with extremely bad timing. Kurt ordered the ahi tartare and steak sandwich he had been dreaming about for the entire day, and Puck ordered the spaghetti.

Kurt was glad he didn't have to prompt again after the waiter left for Puck to start talking. "When he left, my mom turned bitter and started drinking a lot. It took her years to clean up. And it really messed me up too. I believed every day for three years that he would come home one day with presents and everything would be okay again. I haven't seen the asshole since." Puck shook his head. "For a while I was scared that something like that would happen again, and that's why I never let anyone in, except for Finn, who's too puppy-ish to ever hurt anyone. At least, he was," Puck said with a sour expression.

"And now?" Kurt asked at another one of Puck's pauses.

"Now I'm afraid of becoming him," Puck answered honestly. "Beth felt like the first step, getting an innocent girl knocked up without meaning to. Now every time my mom looks at me, I know she sees him. We look alike."

"That doesn't mean you _are_ alike," Kurt said, reaching across the table to touch Puck's hand and ignoring the small deja vu.

"Really?" Puck asked, withdrawing his hand. "All he wanted to do was leave this town and become a rock star, and he didn't care about who he left behind. How is that any different from me?"

"Because you have the talent, Noah. You _could_ be a rock star, and we all want to get away from this town. And as long as you're a little bit more responsible than you were with Quinn, you won't have to worry about who you're leaving behind, because we're all leaving with you." Puck's head snapped up about a sentence into Kurt's little speech. "What?"

"You called me Noah," he said with a little smile.

"Slip of the tongue, Puck," Kurt said, trying not to smile. "I'm still extremely mad at you, and hurt, and upset, and I certainly don't _trust_ you."

"I didn't ask you to trust me," Puck said with a smile.

"I don't forgive you," Kurt added.

"I know. I'm sure you still have more questions," Puck pointed out, taking another sip of his beer.

"Why did you do what you did today?" Kurt asked. "Especially if you knew it wasn't going to work from the beginning."

"Well, number one, because Quinn scares me and could probably castrate me with a glance," Puck began, making Kurt laugh. "Number two, because anything I could do that pushed you in the right direction seemed good. I do want your forgiveness, Kurt. I just knew it wasn't going to be that easy. You've been burned before."

Kurt sighed. "Ain't that the truth." He took a sip of his water. "So, this grand plan to get into my pants and then return to being friends-"

"Operation Getting Into Kurt's Pants," Puck labeled a little guiltily.

"Sophisticated as always. How exactly was this going to work?" Kurt asked, curious in spite of himself.

"Before I found out you liked me or after?" Puck asked.

"Oh, the plan changed?" Kurt asked sarcastically. "Both."

"Before, let the girls help you get over Lame, make you realize you were crazy attracted to me, wine-and-dine once or twice," Puck raised his glass and Kurt clinked it for effect, "and I'm sure you know how this goes."

"And after?"

"Tell you I liked you, but was unsure. Wine-dine-and-fool-around. Make you agree to an out-at-any-time relationship because I'm supposedly gay-shy. Bang you and then say it was too gay for me."

"And I was going to believe this why?" Kurt asked, taking another sip of his water.

"This is ridiculous," Puck said, apparently ADHD. "Waiter! Get my boyfriend a glass of your best Cabernet."

"Boyfriend?" Kurt asked with a raised eyebrow, not even bothering to argue about the wine, and how expensive that would turn out to be.

"How the tables have turned," Puck said, raising his glass to Kurt's just as his wine appeared. Kurt humored him. "And I was supposed to be able to figure out how to smooth things over with you sometimes."

"So, thinking about the reward without thinking about the consequences?" Kurt asked, finding he rather liked the taste of the wine. It was much better than anything one could buy in Ohio.

"Yep. And that makes you the reward, princess," Puck said with a smile.

"Don't call me princess," Kurt said, waiting until Puck's face fell to say, "yet."

"New York really is the city of love," Puck commented.

"That's Paris," Kurt corrected.

"So that's what Sam was trying to say," he murmured, making Kurt laugh. "Whatever. Close enough?"

"Close enough?" Kurt said, holding up his glass to be clinked, and making Puck grin wildly when he clinked it.

"Here is your food, sirs." The British waiter handed them their plates, accidentally switching them, and then departed.

"Here," they said at the same time, handing the dishes across the table, and Kurt almost dropped Puck's plate as Puck's fingers brushed his.

"Thanks," Kurt said, taking a bite of his sandwich and almost _moaning_. "Oh my gosh this is so- Oh my God!"

"Uh-oh, what's wrong?" Puck asked, immediately looking around for whatever had upset Kurt to the point that he referenced the big guy upstairs.

"It's Patti LuPone," Kurt breathed, looking at the table next to them. Puck didn't recognize the woman there, but she looked like the Broadway type all grown up and he would have sworn he'd seen her face on one of the weird pictures somewhere on the walk to their table. "Is it weird to talk to her?" Kurt asked as if Puck would know. "I mean, I idolize her, and Rachel would be _so_ jealous. Oh my gosh, I'm doing it."

Kurt stood up as the lady got ready to leave, smoothing down his crazy outfit nervously. Puck was sure it was fashionable, but it just looked odd to him. "Excuse me, Miss LuPone?" Kurt asked shyly. "You're absolutely my idol and the reason I started singing, and I couldn't sit here next to you without saying hello." Somehow Kurt managed to say that without sounding like a completely crazy fan... or fainting for that matter. That's probably what Rachel would have done.

"Well, thank you. That's very sweet of you," the woman said, and her voice didn't sound particularly awesome speaking, but then again neither did Rachel. "Are you an actor?"

"No, I... I'm just in high school, but I'm hoping to become one. We," Kurt gestured to Puck, who suddenly shifted at being in the spotlight, "are in town for the National Show Choir Championship."

"I was in choir in high school," the woman said with a big smile. "It was my favorite class." Kurt smiled. "What's your name?"

"Kurt Hummel, and this is Noah Puckerman," Kurt introduced, gesturing to Puck again. "But I also must speak on the behalf of Rachel Berry, an absolutely amazing balladeer who idolizes you as well."

"Well, Kurt Hummel, promise me one thing, you'll never give up," she said with a smile, and Puck was really starting to like this lady.

"Yes, Miss LuPone, I promise," Kurt said, and Puck could see in his eyes how star struck he was.

The woman chuckled and shook Kurt's hand. "Good luck," she said with a glance at Puck, then offering him a handshake, a smile, and the same sentiment.

"Thank you," Puck said. The woman got a little closer to Kurt, whispered something, and then followed the man she was with out of the restaurant.

Kurt waited until she was gone and then sat down, eyes sparkling. "I cannot believe that just happened. I just met _Patti LuPone_. Wait until I tell Rachel, she'll die." Kurt smiled brightly. "This is amazing," he said, and then he started giggling in spite of himself.

"So, I'm guessing she's a pretty big deal, huh?" Puck asked, knowing he was going to regret it.

"She's a Broadway legend. Meeting her is like... I can't even describe it." Kurt was practically glowing.

"Well, she seemed pretty cool." Puck smiled at his date.

"She's amazing!" Kurt said with a little laugh. "And she has good taste," Kurt said mysteriously.

"What did she say to you?" he asked, curious about the whisper.

"Apparently, she thinks you're cute, and she's always had a little bit of a thing for bad boys herself. You must give off an aura," Kurt eyes flickered up, "or maybe it's the Mohawk."

"You think?"

* * *

><p>"This doesn't change anything, you know," Kurt said as they stepped out of the restaurant.<p>

"Oh, really?" Puck asked, placing his coat around Kurt's shoulders despite the warm air and making him smile. "You still hate me."

"Oh, absolutely," Kurt teased, and they both laughed. "I'm serious, though. I'm still can't believe you did that to me, that you thought it would be okay to intentionally do exactly what Blaine did on accident."

"Kurt, I know what I did is bad, and I know I still have a lot of work left to do, but you can't deny that you're a little bit less angry at me, and a little bit more ready to forgive me." Kurt appeared to think about that for a moment.

"Yes, you're definitely headed in the right direction, but you still have a lot of ground to cover." Kurt stopped walking, turning to him and smiling. "Goodnight, Noah." Kurt walked away without so much as a kiss on the cheek, heading off in the wrong direction but probably knowing where he was going. Hopefully.

_You're just too good to be true  
>I can't take my eyes off you<em>

The guys popped around the corner (Finn included, surprisingly), ready with the romantic serenade, which didn't seem appropriate at the moment.

"Guys, can it," Puck said sourly, cutting off the song. "He's gone."

"What happened?" Finn asked, obviously thinking Puck was upset.

"Exactly what I planned."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I hope you are all happy with how this turned out. Also, how awesomely fast was this update? THOSE ON THE EAST COAST OF THE U.S.A.: beware Frankenstorm. To all of the rest of you who think I'm crazy for that last sentence, a very big scary storm is hitting near where I live, so I might not have power or internet to post things within the next week. Sorry. My muse for this story is going so well right now.**

**So, there's some twisted canon in here, but Glee's still not mine. I hope you guys are all okay with how this turned out as far as the result of Quinn's plan. Puck's still got a lot of groveling to do.**

**Songs used/mentioned:  
><strong>'_Boyfriend_' by Justin Beiber (twisted for my own nefarious purposes)  
>'<em>Holding Out For a Hero<em>' from _Footloose_ (mentioned)  
>'<em>Can't Take My Eyes Off You<em>' by Frankie Valli

**Reviews are Love And Help Awesome Updates Like This!**


	21. Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now

"Dude, do you think Rachel will forgive me?" Finn asked. It was probably between two and three in the morning, and most of the guys had passed out in their chairs already, with nothing to show for the hours following Kurt and Puck's date during which they had chatted and told stories (mostly anecdotes about chicks). Puck was the only one left awake (with the exception of Finn, who had been acting so weird lately he didn't really count as a guy right now), and he had been happily dozing off until Finn asked him that.

"She won't if you don't try, dude." They were sticking with the long standing tradition that during any conversation of an emotional nature, the word 'dude' had to be in any given answer. Otherwise it made them sissies. Puck was stretched out on the couch, having claimed it by playing on the others' pity. For some reason, they were convinced that the date hadn't gone well. Maybe it hadn't as far as the standards of a normal date, but considering Puck hadn't even expected Kurt to say yes, it went exceedingly well. Yeah, he knew Kurt was still pissed at him, but Kurt wasn't acting like an ice queen anymore, and that was the biggest indicator of how Kurt felt. Kurt was never mean, but it he didn't like you, he shut you out completely. He wasn't shutting Puck out. Puck realized that Finn had been talking during his musings, so he pushed Kurt (who had taken up permanent residence in the girls' room and didn't seem too worried about Mr. Schue doing bed checks or wake up calls) out of his mind and said, "What, dude? I was thinking about Kurt." Crap, he hadn't meant to admit that.

"I said, what about Jesse? He's like perfect for her, and most importantly, he wants to be _here_. I've been here for a day and I already don't like the city. Dude, this sucks." Finn sighed.

"Dude, relax. Rachel can't handle being with Jesse. They're too alike, they would kill each other if they tried anything long term, because they're always trying to upstage each other. A relationship between the two worst drama queens in the history of the world is never going to work." That seemed to appease Finn's fears, and Puck was almost asleep when Finn spoke again.

"I know it's none of my business, according to both of you, and I know you've already hurt him and are trying to make up for it, but take care of Kurt, all right, dude? He's not as strong as he thinks he is, and what happened with you and Blaine really messed him up." Puck sighed. Crap, do they really have to have this conversation?  
>"Look, I'm not in this to screw Kurt over. Like you said, I'm trying to make up for when I <em>did<em>, and it's probably gonna be a while before Kurt trusts me again, but I'm not trying to hurt him, and I'll do my best to make sure I don't. Okay, dude?"

"Okay." Finn tapped his pencil against the pad of paper he had been writing on, trying to come up with a duet for him and Rachel to sing that would win her over much better than any date, no matter how much she liked New York. "Because he's my little brother."

"I know," Puck muttered, trying to sleep again.

"And I would have to kill you if you did. Again."

"I'd like to see you try." Finn didn't reply, but he continued to scribble on his pad of paper (which had gold stars on it and was obviously a present from Rachel), and he was silent for long enough that Puck finally fell asleep.

* * *

><p>Rachel was slumped on one of the beds, her hand splayed over her writing notebook and a pen. There was some scribbling in the notebook which proved Rachel had been the only one trying to write last night. "Rachel, wake up, wake up!" Kurt whispered, shaking her gently.<p>

"Why?" Rachel muttered sleepily.

"We're going to breakfast at Tiffany's," he whispered. "Get up, get dressed. It'll be fun, I promise." Kurt left the room and waited for Rachel in the hallway. He was about two minutes from going back in to make sure she hadn't fallen asleep when she came out in a surprisingly cute sundress.

"I have questions for you," she announced, but Kurt ignored her proclamation and offered her his arm. "The first one is:where are we getting breakfast?"

"Rachel, this is New York. We'll get our breakfast on the street, like true New Yorkers do," he said firmly as they headed down the stairs. Kurt wasn't in the least concerned that Mr. Schuester would catch them. The man was sleeping off his jaunt around New York that he refused to let the club have for themselves.

"This is so exciting!" Rachel squealed as they got into the elevator. "New York is amazing, but I have to agree with Mr. Schuester on this one."

"Says the girl completely disobeying all of Mr. Schuester's orders," Kurt pointed out, and Rachel ignored it in her usual fashion.

"We're getting distracted. I heard that Vocal Adrenaline rents a deserted warehouse every year and practices until they _bleed_, no sleep and you can only eat if you pass out! We're in hotel rooms, dreaming about New York instead of working. We don't have songs of choreography. Do I think we can pull it off? Of course, I have extreme faith in our club's ability, but do I think we can be phenomenal with so little practice? I don't know."

"Do I think you can talk on one breath for a fifteen floor elevator ride? Oh wait, you just did," Kurt said, rolling his eyes. "Rachel, think about all the amazing things we've achieved with little to no rehearsal, and put aside rationality, and just _believe_ for once."

"Think about Regionals last year," Rachel pointed out.

"Rachel, Regionals last year was the competition we practiced the most for!" Kurt pointed out. "Seriously, just stop worrying."

"When you think about it, our track record for competitions is only really three to one..."

"I will smite you," he vowed as they left the hotel, and they walked to Tiffany's, stopping for bagels and coffee, in silence.

"We're going to get into so much trouble for this," Rachel said giddily once they were leaned up against the building like Audrey Hepburn, on a slightly unrelated topic. It was good enough for Kurt.

"True, but isn't it worth it?" Kurt asked. "Just to watch the city operate and feel the energy around us? It's... phenomenal," he decided, sipping his coffee without a worry in the world.

"You're the only one besides me who understands how amazing this place is! Which is why I have a secret to tell you. When we graduate, I'm coming back here, and I'm going to college here. This is where I belong."

"Rachel," Kurt said, before she could get too excited. "I think you've told everyone that at least a hundred times. You announced it yesterday!" Rachel huffed and pouted.

"So, how did things go with Noah last night?" she asked after she had eaten a little more and stopped sulking. Rachel, for all her meticulous morning routines, really wasn't a morning person. She was crazier before noon than after, and that was saying something.

"Fine," Kurt said with a sigh.

"I'm going to need a little more than that," Rachel said disparagingly.

"I understand why all those girls sleep with him now," Kurt commented. He realized his faux pas as soon as the words came out of his mouth.

"Kurt Hummel!" she shrieked with the full power of her impressive lungs, and she was so loud there was no way she could hear Kurt protesting. "How _could_ you? How could you disrespect yourself by _sleeping_ with _Noah_ so soon after he broke your heart? That was exactly what he wanted and you gave it to him! How can you _justify_ giving your _virginity_ to someone who so clearly-" Only in New York would no one stare at the girl yelling about someone's virginity. Not even a glance.

"Rachel!" he ended up having to yell over her, using his equally impressive lungs to be heard. "That's not what I meant. I didn't sleep with him," he said once she had clamed herself. "I just meant he was so damn _charming_ I started to forgive him without even meaning to."

"Well, that's just because you care about him," Rachel said, thankfully at a normal volume. "Although I must admit, as someone who has made a few mistakes with Noah, he is _very_ charming. And you forgave him because you can't stay made at someone you care about. In the same way I could never stay mad at Finn, you could never stay mad at Noah."

"I had no issues staying mad at Puck before." Kurt didn't elaborate. Rachel should know what 'before' meant. Before Blaine.

"Yes, but you didn't exactly feel the way about Puck that you do about _Noah_," Rachel said, making a distinction between the two. And there was, Kurt just wasn't sure which one was in New York with him.

"Speaking of people we care about, what about Finn?" Rachel sighed in reply to Kurt's question.

"I have Jesse. I _love_ Jesse. I just... can't stop thinking about him, and it doesn't help that he's pursuing me insistently. He asked me out, last night, when you and Puck were out on your date," Rachel admitted.

"And?"

"I turned him down."

"Now I feel like I should be yelling at you," Kurt said, frustrated. "Finn is a thousand times better for you than Jesse is. When you're with Jesse, all you do is complain about all the things he does that frustrate you. You're too alike to be dating. When you're with Finn, you're completely happy. Yes, you fight, every couple does, but, like you said, you can't stay mad at Finn. You're still mad at Jesse over what happened a year ago!" Rachel frowned.

"For one in my life, I don't want to talk about me," she said, which startled Kurt into laughing. "I want to talk about you. What else happened with Noah?"

"Puck's never been so honest with me. He was so... open and vulnerable, and it was like he was a whole different person. The kind of person I could picture myself with." Kurt sighed. "And that makes me worried in a whole other way, but the most important question is, what if he was faking?"

"Kurt, we all know Noah has the ability to be deep, and gentle, and _loving_. He epitomized all of those words when he was with Quinn, when he wanted to raise Beth with her, regardless of the consequences. He can be quite grown up, and it's possibly the fact that he's grown up too fast that causes him to act like a jerk sometimes, but he is a _good_ person. I know you know that." Kurt massaged his sore temples. Even _talking_ about Puck gave him a headache.

"Rachel, I don't want to talk about me either. We should go back, before Mr. Schuester wakes up and realizes his team is near revolt." Rachel didn't even crack a smile as she took Kurt's arm and they walked back to the hotel.

* * *

><p>When Kurt and Rachel stepped into the writers room, ignoring the glares from their less bold teammates, they were informed that Mr. Schuester had checked in on them, Puck and Finn had covered for them, respectively, and he was back out on the city. Quinn, obviously in a foul mood, chucked a notebook at them and told them to start writing. Rachel went over to her former writing partner to show her what Rach had already started on, and Kurt sat down with the notebook Quinn had thrown at them, unwilling to admit his inexperience in writing songs. They were all practiced at this, and he felt a little like the weak link on the team at the moment.<p>

"Not sure where to start?" Puck asked casually, coming to sit next to him. "As gay as this sounds," Kurt ignored what almost sounded like a slight, "writing songs is all about feelings. How you feel about someone or something, but I wouldn't suggest writing an anthem about how homophobic people are," he said with a crooked grin, but Kurt ignored him.

"So I should essentially write an Alanis Morissette song about you?" Kurt asked, and Puck grinned.

"I won't say anything because I know how much you hate it when I compare you to Santana." Kurt sighed, still staring at the notebook blankly. "What? You would usually at least smile at that, even if you're rolling your eyes."

"Well you're right, I definitely want to roll my eyes." Puck ignored it. "You do realize you're not forgiven yet, right. As charming as you may be, I'm still upset with you."

"You're not doing a very good job of showing that," Puck said, and Kurt almost hit him.

"How about this? _Go away_," he said, as coldly as he could manage, pushing Puck away and trying to focus on writing until the baritone left. He started scribbling down the lyrics to _Not As We_, pretending to be busy, and Puck sighed before striding over and having a brief conversation with Rachel. "And if you're plotting again," Kurt said loudly, drawing the attention of the other club members, "I _will_ remove your favorite appendage."

"What, I'm not allowed to talk to people?" Puck asked. Kurt just ignored him.

"Not to interrupt your club falling apart as amateurs tend to," came a voice from the doorway. Kurt turned as everyone else did and recognized the coach of Vocal Adrenaline who had stolen Sunshine leaning against the now-open doorway.

"Did you pick the lock?" Tina asked, surprised.

"What the fuck are you doing here, turd?" Puck asked, and Kurt rolled his eyes as Dustin Goolsby huffed.

"Classy as I would expect, Puckerman." Puck jerked back in surprise. "Yes, I know who you are. Vocal Adrenaline does extensive background checks on all of their competition. You would do well to do the same. For example, I know that your abusive father ran out on you because he realized how much of a failure everyone in your town was." Three things happened simultaneously: Dustin Goolsby ducked back as Puck charged at him, Finn grabbed Puck to hold him back, and Rachel (always so helpful) started shrieking at him.

"What are you doing here, Goolsby?" Santana asked coldly as Finn tried to calm Puck down with little success, Rachel having shut up.

"I'm here to inform you of the betrayal that will tear your club apart just before Nationals," Goolsby said coolly, stepping back into the doorframe as he realized Finn wasn't going to let Puck tear his head off for some reason.

"Like anything could make us more mutinous than your pack of well-trained dogs," Santana said, which wasn't the best insult considering, but worked to throw Goolsby off a little.

"At least they have a devoted director," Goolsby said, "even if I do want to make them all kneel on gritz until they die from exsanguination." Even Rachel looked surprised at that one, and she was the one best educated in Vocal Adrenaline's torture techniques. "Unlike you guys." Goolsby glanced back at Puck, who had only calmed down a little. "Would someone please control the rabid mutt?"

"I'll kill you," Puck yelled, struggling again, and Sam had to help Finn, who had loosened his grip idiotically.

"What do you mean our director isn't devoted?" Rachel asked, stepping forward to stand with Santana. "Mr. Schuester may not be here, but he's out supporting the club in his own way."

"Oh yeah? In what way?" That shut Rachel up. No one knew what Mr. Schuester was doing, but he definitely wasn't out helping them. "Exactly. Now shut your overly-large trap," he continued as Rachel opened her mouth to retort, "and I'll tell you what your beloved director is really out doing."

"What?" Rachel asked softly, cowed.

"He's out preparing for his Broadway debut in _Crossrhodes: The April Rhodes Story_. And he's leaving as your director to be a part of it." Silence descended over the room as everyone absorbed the news. "Good luck at Nationals." Goolsby nodded. "Later, mutt." For some reason, making Puck mad amused Goolsby, because Puck practically growled and struggled a little more, uselessly.

"What are we gonna do now?" Tina was the one to ask it, and Quinn stalked off to the bathroom.

"Maybe you should go calm white boy down," Mercedes suggested, jerking a finger towards Puck.

"Like I'm going to be any help for his temper." Mercedes look said it all. "Fine, fine. Gosh, you're bossy."

"Pot calling the kettle black, bo," Mercedes said as he walked over to Puck.

"Sam, let him go," he said, using his most authoritative Cheerio voice. "Are you done acting like an imbecile now?" he asked Puck as Sam did exactly what he said.

"Shut up, Hummel. That guy's a jerk and deserves to get his head punched in."

"I'm aware," Kurt said coolly. "So I have just one question for you."

"What?"

"How much did you like Juvie again?" That seemed to deflate Puck's anger. "Exactly. All getting mad is going to do is get in trouble. Do what I do, and imagine inventive ways to kill them without getting caught." Actually, the probably wasn't the best suggestion. "Just don't follow through with them."

"How many ways do you have for me?" Puck asked, and Finn let go of him, realizing Kurt had calmed him completely through distraction.

"One hundred and six," Kurt said seriously. In reality, only about five. It's not that he wasn't that mad at Puck, he just wasn't that inventive. Puck grinned.

"At least I'm inside your head, princess."

"Don't call me that," he said, striding back to Mercedes and resisting the urge to smack her. "You owe me," he whispered.

"Actually, I think Finn and Sam owe you," she replied, which Kurt ignored. It had been her suggestion.

"Why the hell has Quinn been in the bathroom so long?" Santana asked, strutting off to find her, quickly followed by Brittany. Whatever had happened there had clearly been resolved, at least for the moment.

"No one's answered my question," Tina said, a little annoyed. "What are we going to do when Mr. Schuester leaves us?"

"Well, Glee clubs can be self-sufficient as long as we have someone who's technically the faculty advisor," Kurt said, remembering the Warblers' council. "We just have to listen to people who have authority that we respect, and are absolutely not Rachel, because she would lose her mind with power."

"I object-" Rachel began.

"Seconded," Puck said, and when Kurt looked at him, Puck grinned. Oh, so he was trying to get brownie points now?

"Maybe we should just wait until after the competition. There's no need to worry about this now when we don't even have songs written."

"Actually, I might have something," Finn spoke up. "I wrote a duet last night, and I was hoping you would sing it with me." Rachel looked uncertain, excited, and flattered all at the same time. It was an interesting facial expression.

"I... okay. Will it require choreography?" Rachel asked, and Kurt knew exactly what she was doing. She was looking for an escape from being alone with him.

"I was thinking we should work on it together." Kurt was about to be a very bad friend.

"You two should go into the girls' room to block it and rehearse. We'll take care of the other song." Rachel glared at him so fiercely he was surprised he didn't melt like the Wicked Witch of the West. Finn grinned.

"Yeah, great idea."

"Fine," Rachel said, still glaring at Kurt. She grabbed Finn's notebook and stalked off into the other room, mouthing the words to herself as she did.

"Thanks, bro," Finn muttered as soon as she had left, offering Kurt a quick fist bump (which was sadly a habit he was so used to that he accepted it) and following her, shutting the door behind him.

"You're evil," Tina commented, but she was smiling.

"I know."

"It's kind of sexy," Puck commented, and Kurt gave the baritone the same fierce glare Rachel had just given him.

"When do you think Mr. Schuester will be back?" Tina asked after several moments of awkward silence.

* * *

><p>When the mildly cute bellboy texted Rachel to warn her that Mr. Schuester was on his way, Rachel and Finn came in from the other room, and despite her protests, Rachel looked pretty happy. The club formed a semi-circle in wait, so that they could all confront Mr. Schuester about what Goolsby had said. Puck was resting all alone on the bed closest to the door, Mercedes, Tina, and Mike were on the other, Quinn and Brittany leaning against it. Quinn had walked in with newly cut hair a few minutes earlier, following by Brittany and Santana, who both looked pleased with themselves. Artie was parked between the bed and the chair where Finn sat. Santana was taking up the entirety of the couch, Sam leaning against the end where her legs rested. Rachel was in the arm chair closest to the door, Finn's notebook resting on her lap. Kurt decided to settle on the table next to Finn's chair rather than lie on the bed with Puck.<p>

"Dude, why don't you go over there?" Finn asked, gesturing to the completely-empty side of Puck's bed.

"Because I'm quite comfortable here, Finnegan," Kurt said in a tone that brooked no argument.

Mr. Schuester struggled a little, unlocking and opening the door with seven pizzas balanced in one hand. "All right, guys, who's up for some real New York City... pizza?" he hesitated once he saw they were all waiting for him.

"We heard," Quinn said softly before Mr. Schue could even ask, twining her fingers.

"Heard what?" Mr. Schue asked. He didn't seem to be playing innocent, he probably just didn't know what they were referring to.

"About you leaving to be on Broadway," Mercedes replied, and everyone kept their tones carefully not accusing.

Mr. Schue froze when he heard the words, then sighed and placed the pizzas down next to the TV. "Look, I haven't made up my mind about anything." Why not?

"We get it," Kurt piped up, and Mr. Schue gave him a weird look for being seated cross-legged on a table. "And we're happy for you," he said, smiling in spite of himself. No, Mr. Schuester wasn't the greatest Glee club teacher in the world, prejudiced, favoritist and outdated, but he genuinely cared about all of them, and they all saw him as a father figure.

"You've inspired us in so many ways," Rachel added, "so... this is just another." It was probably especially inspirational to her, as it was to Kurt. He was the real-life example that their Broadway dreams really _could_ come true.

"I don't understand. Who-who told you?" Mr. Schue asked, and Kurt realized something. He hadn't planned to tell them. If he had, it would have been a relief. Now it's betrayal.

"Goolsby," Tina said.

Mr. Schuester was silent, but he looked confused and almost angry. "You okay, Mr. Schue?" Mike asked after a few moments too many of silence.

"I'm not going," Mr. Schue said decisively, and the atmosphere breathed a sigh of relief. They could have survived without Mr. Schuester, but it wouldn't have been easy. "I'm staying with you guys. I had my moment on that stage," when had that happened? "and it was glorious. But you and I... have some unfinished business to take care of." Mr. Schuester looked angry, and Kurt almost asked, but decided against it. "Now get out your notebooks. Time to get to work. Come on, this is Nationals, people." He did his ridiculous clapping thing, and for once it actually succeeded in getting people excited.

"Whoo!" Brittany exclaimed, and it wasn't entirely surprising when Puck was the one who hugged Puck. With Finn being a close second, Puck was the one who needed a father figure the most.

"Yes, Puck," Mr. Schue said, as if it was necessary.

"I want it, I want in," Sam said, and he was the one who started the group hug.

"Oh, geez!" Mr. Schue said as he was suddenly attacked by teenagers. Kurt wandered towards the group hug, but didn't join in until Rachel brutally pulled him against Finn's back.

"Sorry," he muttered to his brother, who just pulled him to his side and wrapped an arm around him.

"All right, guys, I need some air," Mr. Schuester said eventually, and logically everyone would have dispersed in opposite order. Instead, everyone tried to leave at once, and it took them about five minutes to sort out everyone's limbs.

"And actually, Mr. Schuester, Finn has written an amazing song that I think should be our opening number for Nationals," Rachel said eagerly as soon as everyone was separated.

Mr. Schuester glanced over the lyrics for a few seconds and said, "This would be performed by the two of you? I think it could work, but I will need to see the arrangement before I approve it, and the choreography, and a vocal run. The rest of you, get to work on another song or two." Mr. Schuester started to walk off, Rachel following eagerly, Finn less so.

"Mr. Schuester, we're not staying in this room," Quinn said firmly. "We have no inspiration, and the only reason that Finn was able to write that song is because of the two-year love story he has with Rachel. Unless you want a song about the dramatic love story of Kurt and Puck, we need more than this room. We've all been sneaking out in ones and twos, or more, for the past twenty-four hours," she admitted. "Do we really have to keep being sneaky and flirting with bellboys to know when you're coming? Or can we just leave and promise to be here at a set time?"

Mr. Schuester looked a mix of disappointed and a little proud. "I suppose if I can't stop you, I can at least keep tabs on you. Be back by four, and we'll write until seven. I'll bring dinner, and you guys can go back out for a night on the city." Quinn smiled brightly, and the rest of the room cheered. "You two are still with me," Mr. Schue said as Finn cheered up, and then Finn's expression soured. "Come on." Mr. Schuester beckoned Rachel and Finn into the other room, and everyone stared at each other.

"Where to first?"

* * *

><p>"I can't believe we ended up back on the stairs," Quinn commented as they lounged and ate, having raided the pizzas Mr. Schuester had bought before leaving. "There's definitely more to New York than this."<p>

"Maybe we just need a bit of inspiration," Tina volunteered.

"Maybe we should go to Central Park," Mike suggested, and a few people groaned.

"He has a point," Kurt defended. "It's a typical tourist place, but isn't that the point. We're not going to go into the Bronx and meet the real New York. We're here for the glamorous, tourist version of New York. Let's go to Central Park!"

"Whoo!" Brittany yelled.

"I just have one thing to say before we go," Puck said, and Kurt had the horrifying suspicion that the baritone was about to embarrass him.

_Looking in your eyes  
><em>_I see a paradise  
><em>This world that I found is too good to be true<em>_

_Standing here beside you  
><em>_I want so much to give you  
><em>This love in my heart that I'm feeling for you<em>_

_Let them say we're crazy  
><em>_I don't care about that  
><em>Put your hand in my hand<br>_Baby, don't ever look back___

_Let the world around us  
><em>_Just fall apart  
><em>Baby we can make it if we're heart to heart<em>_

_And we can build this thing together  
><em>_Standing strong forever  
><em>Nothing's gonna stop us now<br>_And if this world runs out of lovers  
><em>We'll still have each other<br>_Nothing's gonna stop us  
><em>Nothing's gonna stop us now<br>_Woah, no!_______

The words themselves were embarrassing, but the tune was familiar, and Sam grinned, joining in. Mike and Quinn were the next ones to sing, and by the chorus everyone had joined in.

"Come on, let's go see New York!" Santana yelled, ignoring the little crowd they had gathered because of their talent. There were probably a lot of street performances whenever Show Choir Nationals was held in New York.

_I'm so glad I found you  
><em>_I'm not gonna lose you  
><em>Whatever it takes to stay here with you<em>_

_Take it to the good times  
><em>_See it through the bad times  
><em>Whatever it takes is what I'm gonna do<em>_

_Let them say we're crazy  
><em>_What do they know?  
><em>Put your arms around me, baby<br>_Don't ever let go___

_Let the world around us  
><em>_Just fall apart  
><em>Baby, we can make it if we're heart to heart<em>_

_And we can build this thing together  
><em>_Standing strong forever  
><em>_Nothing's gonna stop us now  
><em>_And if this world runs out of lovers  
><em>_We'll still have each other  
><em>_Nothing's gonna stop us_

_Oh, all that I need is you  
><em>_All that I ever need  
><em>All that I want to do<br>_Is hold you forever  
><em>Forever and ever<em>___

_And we can build this thing together  
><em>_Standing strong forever  
><em>_Nothing's gonna stop us now  
><em>_And if this world runs out of lovers  
><em>_We'll still have each other  
><em>_Nothing's gonna stop us  
><em>_(Nothing's gonna stop us now)_

_And we can build this thing together  
><em>_Standing strong forever  
><em>_Nothing's gonna stop us now  
><em>_And if this world runs out of lovers  
><em>_We'll still have each other  
><em>_Nothing's gonna stop us  
><em>_Nothing's gonna stop us now_

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I am sorry that the wait has been so long, and I am also sorry that this chapter is so short. However, there was just a little bit of build-up I needed to do before Nationals, and this is it. The next chapter will be Nationals, and considerably longer, and hopefully soon, because I'm terribly sick and have nothing to do but write. Please do not be angry with me, my dear readers, because there will be more that actually pertains to Puckurt soon. Hope you all had good holidays, etc.**

**Songs used/mentioned:  
><strong>'_Not as We' by Alanis Morissette (mentioned)  
>'<em>Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now' by Starship (but think of the version by The Starting Line)<em>_

**Review are Love. And help with the unfortunate writer's block that caused this chapter to be so late.**


	22. Nationals

The two hotel rooms being rented by the New Directions were madness the morning of Nationals. Rachel was being a bother as usual, fluttering around in her sleeveless black dress and 'helping' the girls to adjust their dresses and do their make-up and hair. Kurt normally would have stopped her, but he wasn't sure anyone could stop Hurricane Rachel at that point. She was a ball of nerves, about the competition and about Finn, and she was an unstoppable force. Santana and Brittany were, surprisingly, the best as tolerating her, the tension between the two of them obvious but hopefully not handicapping. Whatever they had been fighting about lately, it clearly wasn't over. Tina seemed just as nervous as Rachel, but she hadn't burst out into tears yet, so Kurt mentally counted that as a win. Mercedes was too blissfully happy with Sam to care about the actions of anyone else. Quinn, who was mostly annoyed with the world and her own failed attempts to prevent drama within the New Directions (a near impossible task), kept pushing Rachel away and acting generally cranky. After a while of watching this scene with entertainment, already dressed and prepared for the competition, he checked to make sure all the girls' hair and make-up was fine and then left for the boys' room. The costume for the boys was a little more complicated, and he was completely sure they were hopelessly lost.

Kurt knocked on the closed door next to the girls' room. "Boys? How's it going in there?" Kurt was surprised when the door was flung open near-immediately, Puck standing there in his black shirt and pants, barefoot, his white tie hopelessly knotted around his neck, and his shoes and vest nowhere in sight.

"You don't have to knock, princess," Puck said as he opened the door wider but didn't move away, forcing Kurt to brush by him as he walked in the room. Most of the boys were at least as dressed as Puck was, though Finn hurriedly buttoned up his shirt.

"Did you know you're the only guy in Glee who can tie a tie?" Finn asked with a grin, not even caring that Kurt wasn't being as careful as he usually was about the boys' uncharacteristic modesty around him.

"I didn't know that for a fact, but it certainly doesn't surprise me," Kurt said, leaning down to where Sam was perched in one of the arm chairs, tying the fake blond's tie with a roll of his eyes. "You would think with the number of competition costumes you guys have had to wear in the past two years, you would have gotten used to them, but of course not." Kurt couldn't really be mad at any of the boys (except Puck. He was trying his hardest to remain pissed at Puck, but it wasn't as easy as it seemed), too fond of their innocent idiocy.

The atmosphere in the boys' room, Kurt noticed as he walked around tying the boys' ties, was almost as tense as the girls' room. Finn was obviously over the moon about Rachel, practically bouncing in his seat and generally being the cutest thing Kurt's even seen (basket of puppies cute, not boyfriend cute. Kurt had learned to distinguish between the two when it came to Finn). Mike was throwing surly looks at Artie, and Artie was doing the same when Mike wasn't looking. Sam just looked annoyed to be in the middle of all of this, but Kurt knew he was happy. Mercedes and Sam made each other very happy. He sighed as he reached Puck, trying to touch his ex as little as possible while he tied Puck's white tie. It was a little bit childish of him, the way he held the strips of fabric between two fingers, but Puck didn't comment. It was a wise decision on his part. Kurt had absolutely no idea what was going on in the jock's head, but he didn't bother to ask, simply instructing all of the boys to put on their vests _over_ their ties (Finn, for some reason, originally had the tie hanging outside the whole ensemble) and asking them all where the _hell_ they had put their shoes, which lead to the great shoe hunt of 2011.

* * *

><p>The huge theatre was crowded with people, proud parents with cameras, annoyed directors with megaphones, spectators, but most of all, Glee club contestants, walking around in groups wearing matching costumes and staring in awe at the sight around them. There were three floors to the section of the building housing the 2011 Nationals Show Choir Championships!, the signs for which were hung from the second floor balcony and emblazoned with the Statue of Liberty. Rachel was out of her mind in excitement, squeezing Kurt's hand tightly and pointing out all the 'famous' show choirs and balladeers she knew of, regardless of the fact that they could see her too. The room was alive with energy, and Rachel was right. They really <em>had<em> made it.

"We made it," she repeated the words she had said a thousand times since they had arrived in New York. "We're one of the top fifty show choirs in the nation," she said in awe, everyone gathering around the first flight of stairs to stare up at the banner. Kurt was determined not to talk to Puck before the show (knowing that if anything out distract him, it was that idiotic jock), but Puck wasn't making that task easy, following him and Rachel around like a lost puppy, Quinn by his side. Right now Puck was so close behind Kurt that every time someone in the crowd shoved either one of them, they ended up pressed chest-to-back. Kurt did _not_ appreciate it, especially since these shoves happened so frequently. "Tomorrow only ten will move on to Showcase, where they'll vie for the National Championship!" Rachel continued talking, clapping her hands and generally being more excited than Kurt had ever seen her... and that was saying something.

"We've _so_ got this," Kurt said behind her, encouraged himself by the energy in the room and the inescapable charisma that was an excited Rachel.

"Okay," Mr. Schue said, somehow breaking the moment as he turned around to address them, wearing a gray suit and generally looking like an outcast among them. He couldn't have at least matched their color scheme? All the other directors were (besides Goolsby, but Kurt had never seen him in anything but black. Heck, Goolsby matched the New Directions better than Mr. Schue did). "Usually, I'm pretty cautious about getting your hopes up, but honestly, guys? I think we got a really good shot at winning this thing." Everyone clapped and cheered, because they all loved Mr. Schuester, and as much as Kurt criticized, it meant a lot how much he believed in them. "All right, everybody put your hand in the middle." Rachel was the first one to put her tiny little hand down, followed by the rest of the club. "One, two, three, _New Directions_!" he yelled, and they all joined, throwing their hands up and ignoring the way the crowd jostled at them.

* * *

><p>There was a moment when Kurt realized the New Directions were in trouble. He wasn't exactly sure when that moment was, but by the time Singaz Wit Attitude were performing a Chris Brown song in white dresses and with flashy dance moves, he knew it. Now he was just praying to fashion designers of the past that the New Directions' over-confidence wasn't going to hurt their chances of making it into the top ten. Kurt spotted Dustin Goolsby leaving, and Mr. Schue following him out. Rachel also left briefly, though if it was because she had seen Sunshine leaving was unknown to Kurt, and he frankly didn't care.<p>

By the time that Vocal Adrenaline was announced, Kurt hadn't seen Sunshine come back, his stomach was in knots, and he jumped about a foot when Puck took the seat Rachel had vacated an abnormal amount of time ago. "And now, our returning champions from Carmel High, Vocal Adrenaline."

"You all right, princess?" Puck asked as a very nervous Sunshine came forward to sing and Kurt noticed Rachel slip back into the seat between Quinn and Brittany that Puck had previously occupied, before he decided to come make himself a nuisance to Kurt.

"Don't think that the stress or the excitement of competition is making me more forgiving," Kurt snapped. Rachel was the only member of the New Directions standing, and Kurt couldn't believe how loud the crowd was being as poor little Sunshine stood there, staring out at the endless people. Good. She should be nervous.

"It actually seems to be making you more pissy," Puck commented. "I thought I should tell you if you don't stop gnawing, you're going to start drawing blood, vampire." Puck gestured to where Kurt's upper lip was clenched so tightly between his teeth it was starting to go numb.

"This is Vocal Adrenaline, Puck," Kurt said coldly. "They're the reason we weren't sitting in these seats last year, and it's a miracle that we didn't have to face them in Regionals this year." Kurt didn't bother to tell Puck how the system for show choir match-ups worked, how they had ended up with the Warblers instead of Vocal Adrenaline. Puck didn't care.

"Well, we didn't, and we're going to kick their asses," Puck said with a grin, offering Kurt a fist bump. Kurt ignored him as the clapping died down, Sunshine still standing there nervously. Rachel gave her a thumbs up, making the little Filipino girl smile, and Kurt was going to have to have some words with his best friend later. Finn seemed to have noticed too, muttering something to Rachel and seeming fazed by the answer.

_All my life  
><em>_I've waited for the right  
><em>Moment to let you know<br>_I don't wanna let you go  
><em>__

_But now I realize  
><em>There's just no perfect time<br>_To confess how I feel  
><em>This much I know it real<em>___

_So I refuse to  
><em>_Waste one more second  
><em>Without you<br>_Knowing my heart___

"Do you know this song?" Puck asked him in a low tone as the sheer curtain behind Sunshine lifted and the other voices of Vocal Adrenaline joined hers, the other members coming forward onto the bleachers behind her.

"No," Kurt answered sharply as the chorus started. "They stole our idea of original songs."

"We'll do it better," Puck said, but it was one of the only times in the history of... ever, that Kurt hadn't heard Puck sound confident. He usually sounded overly-confident. This wasn't good. Their dancing was flawless as usual, Sunshine just standing and singing like the world's best balladeer. They were in _so_ much trouble... so why was Rachel smiling?

Sunshine's voice was almost blocked out by the sounds of the cheers as she held the end of the song for what felt like an impossibly long time. They were ridiculously talented, and their original song was... extremely good. Maybe even better than the New Directions' songs.

"Fuck," Puck muttered, and that just about summed it up.

* * *

><p>Rachel dragged them all into the green room for one last pep talk before their performance (which was thankfully a few spots after Vocal Adrenaline, but that hadn't lowered the bar at all, sadly), but Kurt had a feeling no one was listening. Kurt definitely wasn't. Their hopes already felt dashed, and they hadn't even performed yet. Things weren't looking good.<p>

"Hey," Puck said, standing up and ignoring Rachel's protests at being interrupted. "This sucks. We all know it, but what did you guys expect? This is the big leagues, they're all going to be good. We've just gotta be better, and Rachel's mouth is bigger than even Sunshine's, so there shouldn't be a problem." That earned a few laughs, smiles brightening some faces. Puck could be a leader when he wanted to be, and Kurt was having a very hard time not smiling himself. Damn him.

"We're gonna be awesome," Finn added, standing up to join Puck, ignoring Rachel's dramatic huffs and other ridiculous antics behind them. She really hated being upstaged, it was surprising that she wasn't the most upset of them all. "We've got two great songs, not just one like VA, and we're totally going to kick butt, because soulless robots always lose in the end." Kurt rolled his eyes, because sometimes Finn could be so... Finn, but he had a point. They still had a chance, they shouldn't squander it before they've even performed.

"Let's go kick some Vocal Adrenaline ass!" Mercedes yelled, and while Sam started the whooping, everyone else soon joined in. "New Directions!" they yelled again, not even needing the countdown.

* * *

><p>Somehow, things seemed a lot less certain when they were all clustered on stage left, Finn and Rachel talking quietly in the middle of the curtain as they waited for their introduction. Nerves had set in at the pit of Kurt's stomach again, and he could only smile when Mercedes asked him if he was feeling all right. She knew though, and she squeezed his hand, separated from Sam for once. Kurt knew Puck wanted to say something, but one glance from his intimidating best friend shut him up.<p>

"And now, from William McKinley High in Lima, Ohio, the New Directions!" Everyone heard the announcer say faintly. Kurt was a little annoyed that they hadn't gotten thirty seconds of applause, while Vocal Adrenaline had probably had applause for ninety seconds, at least. Everyone split up, some sliding behind the backdrop, headed for stage right.

Rachel and Finn returned to their positions, Finn looking upset and concerned, and Rachel looking determined. They were both staring longingly at each other as the curtain rose, and it actually worked for the song Finn had written as they entered from opposite sides. The choreography for the song wasn't incredibly complicated, the two essentially chasing each other around on stage after they had met in the middle at the beginning of the first chorus.

_Will we ever say the words we're feeling?  
><em>_Reach out underneath and tear down all the walls?  
><em>Will we ever have a happy ending?<br>_Or will we forever only be pretending?___

These were the words on which the rest of the club joined them on stage, singing along in the background for the first two lines before entering from either side. The girls entered from stage left and the boys from stage right, slowly getting into formation and trying their hardest not to draw attention away from Rachel and Finn. They were all faced away, but turned around when they heard the absolute silence at the end of the song (they had even been cheering in the middle, why had they stopped?), only to see Rachel and Finn sucking face right there on stage. There was a smattering of applause (probably lead by Mr. Schuester) when they finally pulled away, but they had ruined the intense moment and their vocal performance. If they weren't screwed before, they definitely were now.

They rushed into their spots as the beginning of _Light Up the World_ started, and Kurt was pretty sure that (judging by Santana's glare, which Kurt could see, as her dance partner) the only things that stopped her from swearing them both out right then and there was her microphone headset.

Performing was one big blur, as it always was. It was entirely focus, trying to find the perfect balance between choreography and having fun, trying to remember all the steps and not staring down (something Finn often had problems with). Kurt was relieved when the applause started back up, people even standing up, at the beginning of the first chorus.

_Let's light up the world toni-i-ight  
><em>_We gotta give up the bark and bi-i-ite  
><em>I know that we got the love all ri-i-ight<br>_Come on and light, light, light it up  
><em>Light it up tonight<em>___

By the time the New Directions had finished performing at put their heads down, the crowd was giving them a standing ovation (something even Vocal Adrenaline hadn't gotten), and there was hope for the future again. As everyone cheered, the New Directions were celebrating, Sam grabbing Mercedes and Finn practically bouncing in joy. Mike was hugging Brittany, who grabbed out to him, and then they were all in one group hug, and then there was a bow, and... Kurt wasn't sure exactly how the sequence of events had gone. One moment he was bowing to the audience, and the next there was a pair of unfortunately familiar lips on his. Clearly the audience didn't see that one, because they were still screaming and cheering as Kurt pushed Puck away, and Puck looked shocked by his own actions. Kurt just turned to hug Santana, all the anger that had made the plane ride to New York hell bubbled back up inside him, stone-cold hate forming a lump in his throat. How dare he?

* * *

><p>The girls were shopping for T-shirts, Brittany saying something ridiculous about her poor cat, as usual, and Kurt was sticking firmly with his ladies. He didn't want to talk to Puck, couldn't even stand looking at Puck, and he would avoid it for as long as possible. Plus, he wanted to see what would happen while Finn and Rachel talked. He was shocked when Jesse just barged right into their conversation, but <em>technically <em>he was the one who should be congratulating Rachel, as her boyfriend. Still. Rude. Kurt was surprised to see Finn step between the two, obviously standing up for himself now, but it didn't seem to be doing him much good. It _killed_ Kurt that he couldn't hear them.

Before he could go investigate further (and before Puck could manage to wiggle back into his personal space through his protective ring of girls), there was a bunch of squealing and girls gathered around a plaque. It had to be the Showcase listing, and they had to be on it. Sure enough, Kurt overheard some of the girls, and bounced right over to interrupt Rachel, Jesse, and Finn's conversation.

"They just posted the top ten for Showcase," he said breathlessly. "Everybody, gather around! It's a moment two years in the making." Rachel looking scared rather than excited, but everyone else looked thrilled, and Kurt didn't even mind when Mr. Schue put a hand on his back. He really did have a thing for touching students in little ways. It was quite creepy.

"Okay, what should we do?" Rachel asked, not taking control as she usually did but sounding as freaked out as Kurt felt inside.

"Let's go look at it," Mr. Schue said calmly, "together." It seemed like just the thing to do, just the right thing to say, after all the hard work that had led to this moment. "Come on, come on."

Judging by the fact they were cheering and lifting Sunshine onto their shoulders, Vocal Adrenaline had obviously made the top ten, but that wasn't really a shock to anyone. It was the longest walk of Kurt's life, and it was only the length of a rather short hallway. He had a feeling he wasn't the only one thinking that, Puck once again on his heels, but not quite as close as before. Kurt was trying really hard not to focus on that.

"Oh, I'm too nervous to look," Rachel said, hiding her face in Finn's arm (like Finn's shoulder, only farther down). Mr. Schuester was finally the one who looked, reading off the clubs as they were listed.

"Portland Scale Blazers, Vocal Adrenaline, Singaz Wit Attitude, Jefferson City Airplane..." With every team that wasn't them, Kurt's stomach dropped a little bit more, and everyone's expression got a little less hopeful. "Twelve Steps, Vocal Chordz, Sounsplosion, Teenage Scream, Vocal Extreme..." That was nine, and Mr. Schuester paused. He was pretty sure no one was breathing. "New Directions."

Rachel let out a scream that probably would have shattered Finn's eardrums if he wasn't used to it, and Kurt took a step back, wincing. Of course, that wasn't any better, because _everyone_ was celebrating loudly, thrilled with the fact that they would get to face nine other teams for the title of Nationals Champions.

Mr. Schuester managed to calm everyone down, but only just a bit. Rachel seemed to need a paper bag, she was breathing that fast, and everyone else was celebrating like crazy, except for Kurt. That stupid jock had gotten into his head, and all he wanted to do was slap him. Speaking of Puck, he was at the little shop set up in the lobby, buying what looked like a child's size t-shirt. Kurt tried his hardest not to think it was cute that he was buying a t-shirt for his sister instead of for himself, and oddly enough, it worked this time. Puck kissing him really had been over the line.

"Who do you think you are?" Kurt hissed as he stormed over to the little shop, the man attending the cash register wisely taking a few steps back. Puck just raised an eyebrow.

"Problem, princess?" Puck asked, and Kurt practically snarled. Sadly, it didn't sound very intimidating in his voice. For once, couldn't he sound just a little bit scary?

"Why the hell did you kiss me? Do you have any idea how out of line that was?" Not only was it _Puck_, who didn't even deserve the right to hold Kurt's hand at the moment, but it also had given him a horrible, spine-chilling flashback to an afternoon he really didn't want to think about on the day of the New Directions' greatest triumph, being grabbed and kissed as such.

"I thought you wanted me to," Puck said, and before Kurt got the chance to rip his head off, "and before you yell at me, princess, you were throwing off some pretty clear signals." Kurt took a deep breath, trying to calm his anger.

"_Exactly _what 'signals' was I sending you that implied I wanted your _tongue _shoved down my _throat_?" Kurt asked icily, every word very precise and specially crafted to make it seem like he hadn't enjoyed the kiss... which he, of course, hadn't. Not even a little bit.

"Oh, like you didn't get caught up in the madness," Puck said with a smirk. "You were looking up at me with those ridiculously pornographic baby blues of yours, those pink lips stretched in a flirty little smile. How the hell was I supposed to resist that? I have eyes, you know."

Kurt was a little thrown. It was the first time Puck had really admitted to being attracted to him (not that he appreciated the description of his eyes. At least Puck hadn't said anything more... derogatory about his lips), and it was a little bit surprising, even after all that had happened. "_Maybe_," he said eventually, trying not to reveal how distracted he had gotten by Puck's words, "you should learn the difference between _happy _and trying to _celebrate _with someone who you're not entirely comfortable with, and leading someone on." Puck snorted, turning to look at Kurt for the first time.

"Don't pretend, princess, that you're not entirely comfortable with me." Puck took a few steps forward, leaving about an inch between them since Kurt refused to take a step back. "And don't pretend you didn't like it," Puck said with a smirk, looking down at Kurt's lips like he wanted a repeat performance.

"I enjoyed kissing _Brittany _more," Kurt whispered, trying to sound convincing and also tease Puck a little with what he wouldn't have again. He stepped away as Puck leaned in again, leaving the jock to almost fall flat on his face. He would have said more except he heard Rachel yelling and turned around.

"You don't even _understand_ how done I am with you, Jesse Jacqueline St. James." Puck snickered, probably at Jesse's middle name. "You have no respect for me as an artist or as a woman, and I'm tired of playing your game. If you really want someone to congratulate, go talk to your alma mater, because we all know where your allegiances truly lie." Rachel stormed off in a huff. "And I never want to see you again!" she yelled out behind her as she walked out of the theatre. Finn looked like Christmas had come early, and Kurt was quick to follow Rachel out of the theatre himself. He'd had enough of Puck for a day, maybe even a lifetime.

* * *

><p>Quinn dragged Puck into the boys' room as soon as they were back at the hotel, Mr. Schuester popping the champagne for everyone (there goes the no-drinking pledge) in the other room. She shut the door behind them, ignoring the questioning looks from everyone, Kurt included. She had some words for her former-lover. "What the hell is wrong with you?" were the most important of those words.<p>

"What are you talking about?" Puck asked, rolling his eyes. This was starting to feel like his conversation with Kurt all over again.

"We need to have a serious talk, Noah Eliezer Puckerman," she demanded, messing up the pronunciation of his middle name as only an Anglo-Saxon Christian could. He sighed.

"I already got bitched out once today," he complained, sitting down on the bed and knowing he couldn't get out of this conversation. Once Quinn got herself started, it was impossible to stop her.

"We need to have a serious conversation about whether or not you're pursuing Kurt, because I'm starting to wonder if you're _intentionally _trying to push him away." Puck kind of stared at Quinn dumb-founded. She was changing her mind? "Yeah, I saw that kiss."

"Weren't you all 'you have to go after Kurt, he means everything to you,' at the beginning of this trip?" Puck asked, mocking her voice as best he could. "What gives?"

"When did you decide to start trying to make things up to Kurt?" Quinn asked, pacing in front of the bed and completely ignoring his question as girls tended to, her bob flying around her head as it had during the performance. He really didn't like her hair that way.

"Right around the time Karofsky started being a major douchebag and threatening his _life_," Puck snarled, trying not to think about the stupid jock. Only the desire not to go back to Juvie had saved Karofsky from a major beat-down. "Someone had to stand up to that stupid lug."

"And protecting Kurt was your way of making things up to him," Quinn mused. "Fair enough." Sometimes he really hated talking to girls. Nothing that went on in their heads made sense. "And comforting him? Trying, in your own _idiotic_ way, not to break his heart? Where did that come from?"

"He's Finn's little brother. Finn would kick my ass... at least, he would try." Judging by Quinn's expression, she was _not_ impressed with that answer. "Fine. Whatever. I didn't want to hurt him. I've done that enough." Puck had done some crappy things in his past, but the things he had done to Quinn and nerds were probably the worst.

"So, you do admit to caring about him?" she asked with a raised eyebrow, and Puck nodded, rolling his eyes at the dramatics of the blonde ex-Cheerio, glad she couldn't see him. "Don't roll your eyes at me, Puckerman," she said without so much as glancing in his direction."So, you're bisexual."

"Woah, woah, woah," Puck slowed her down. "I don't like dudes."

"Oh please," Quinn said with a roll of her eyes. For some reason, it was fine for _her_ to roll her eyes. "I may give the appearance of not listening to you, but that doesn't mean I'm not actually doing so. I believe you briefly mentioned an incident in a bathroom?" she wrinkled her nose. Chicks were so picky.

"Doesn't even count, Quinnilla." Three seconds of dry-humping didn't really put him in the 'gay' category of life. "Besides, it's not like Finn's in my spank bank all of a sudden. It's kind of just..."

"Kurt..." Quinn filled in with a curious expression, "but you have to consider the possibility that you don't know very many flamboyant, feminine guys that fall into that category. Maybe you just have a type. Most people do."

"Like you and football players?" Puck grinned, and Quinn flicked her fingers at him derisively.

"You do consider Kurt a guy, though," Quinn pointed out.

"I'm about ninety-nine percent sure he is one," Puck said, grinning again. "I got some pretty good proof in that bathroom." Quinn ignored his comment. She was remarkably good at that.

"You've never differentiated Kurt from your other friends," she continued as if she was talking to herself, but he knew he'd be in a hell of a lot of trouble if he wasn't listening. "Even though you call him 'princess,' which is probably a very derogatory nickname." Quinn's expression was disapproving, but Puck just shrugged. It seemed to be the only one of his possible nicknames that he liked. "And despite your history, you're very comfortable around him." Puck snorted, thinking about his most recent conversation with Kurt. "This isn't funny, Puck. I'm trying to figure out why you're working so hard to push Kurt away when he obviously means a lot to you and is a good influence on you... most of the time."

"I'm not pushing princess away!" Puck tried to protest, but Quinn ignored him. Again.

"Is this about _Break Your Heart_?" Quinn asked, turning to face him and looking at Puck as if she expected an answer to the question he didn't understand. Puck stayed silent, knowing she would eventually ask something else if he did. "Not only do you not _want_ to break Kurt's heart, you shouldn't want to break _anybody's _heart, but no, you're afraid," Quinn said decisively, and Puck snorted. He wasn't afraid of anything (except maybe Burt Hummel). "You, Noah Eliezer Puckerman," not only did she pronounce it wrong _again_, she pronounced it wrong in a different way than she had before, "are afraid to break Kurt's heart."

"Like hell I am!" Puck argued hotly. "Princess can take care of himself!" Well, that was definitely in the running for weirdest sentence he had ever said.

"Yes, he can, but you want to take care of him," Quinn said, in that smug tone girls adopted that meant they were proud for some reason about something that had absolutely nothing to do with them. "Think about it, Puck," she interjected as he was about to argue. "You're willing to put yourself out on the line for him, you're great at making him laugh, you two can talk for hours, you have tons of things in common, you can read him like a children's book, and you're better at comforting and protecting him than Blaine ever was." Well, when she put it like that. "You take care of him, and he takes care of you in return, even if you don't want to admit it."

"You've officially lost it," Puck decided. Between the hair, the crazy look in her eyes, and the ridiculous words coming out of her mouth, that was the only logical conclusion.

"Puck, answer one question for me." Quinn continued before he got the chance to say 'no.' "Is Kurt a Gleek, or a Cheerio? And before you answer," she added just as he was about to answer, "think about what those words really mean to you. A Gleek is a friend, a fellow loser, the kind of person you play Halo and eat Doritos with, the kind of friend you can depend on, no matter what. A Cheerio is an object, a body, an often-nameless slut who will bring you popularity and pleasure, the kind of girl you hit and quit, sometimes even without bringing her out on a date. Which one is Kurt?"

A Gleek. Kurt was definitely a Gleek, that was what he called himself, and that's what he wanted to be. Just because he had been on the team, it didn't mean he was really a Cheerio, they were a crazy devoted family until they were no longer fit enough to do crazy stunts for Coach Sylvester's enjoyment. Kurt had always been more of a Gleek to him, and dammit, he got what Quinn was asking.

"Gleerio," he replied, and Quinn literally face-palmed. Yes, that was the term the Glee girls who were a part of the Cheerios (the Unholy Trinity) had coined to describe their station in the high school social stratta, but what Quinn meant had nothing to do with that. She was asking if Kurt was the kind of person he wanted a relationship with or not, and trying to tell him which one he was through example. It was the same kind of female mind trick that his mom used.

"I'm not going to answer that, because you know the right answer, Noah." Puck sighed. She only switched to 'Noah' when she wanted something. "I know Kurt can sometimes be hard to figure out-"

"Try fucking impossible," he muttered, and for once she didn't yell at him for interrupting.

"You know that Kurt's worth everything," Quinn said, "and you know that if you and Kurt _were_ to have a relationship, you would be very happy with him. You just have to stop being such a... _boy_, and admit that to yourself." Puck snorted. The way Quinn worded that reminded him so much of Quinn.

"Kurt hates me," he said flatly. "I tried to get into his pants like that asshole Blaine, and then I kissed him and ruined Nationals for him." He knew that was how Kurt was feeling. He could see it all over the boy's face.

"You're a good guy, Puck, you'll figure out what you need to do, and eventually, he _will _forgive you. You just have to work for it, which I know you're not used to," Quinn smoothed her dress out self-consciously, "but Kurt's worth it, isn't he?"

"Why are you so convinced that I belong with Kurt?" Puck demanded. "I don't even like dudes!"

"Puck, you can't even deny to me that Kurt's the first guy you've ever found yourself attracted to," Quinn pointed out, and _shit_, had he really been drunk enough to tell her about that? He barely remembered the night he had ended up drunk on scotch (which was a drink that sounded cool, but tasted like rubbing alcohol) and telling Quinn everything. "And do you really want to know why I think you needed this?"

"Why?" Puck asked, knowing it would be something stupid.

"You already know everything that's wrong between you and Kurt. Now all you need is the motivation to fix all of these problems." Puck rolled his eyes.

"Fine. You still haven't explained why you think Kurt and I are soul mates or some shit."

"I think you're in love with him," Quinn answered, and Puck could have throttled his best friend and adopted sister at that moment. In _love_ with _Kurt_? He was about as close to being in love with Kurt as Rachel was to being _sane_! "And I don't care if you deny it," she continued while he was still processing. "It doesn't matter. Even if I'm wrong, he's still worth it, and you know that." Quinn didn't seem interested in the conversation anymore, looking at the wall that was separating them from the rest of the club. "We should get back."

"Just so it's clear," Puck said as she headed for the door. "I'm not in love with Kurt Hummel. Not even close."

"Right."

* * *

><p>"While our original songs turned out spectacularly," Rachel was addressing the room as Quinn and Puck returned to the girls' room, turning around to give Finn a radiant smile, "there's no way we can prepare a set list for tomorrow if we have to choreography, practice, and <em>write<em> our songs. That's why I suggest we stick to doing classics we've performed informally, but are good enough for a competition stage." Kurt almost snorted. For a brief moment, Rachel had reminded him of Wes and his insistence on formal performances only. Very rarely did he miss the Warblers, but he did at that moment.

"So, basically, you want to sing a solo, another 'spectacular,'" Santana maturely used air quotes, but she had a point, "duet with Finn, and a group song where you and Finn sing the leads and we all sway in the background while Mercedes belts out the last note?" she demanded, obviously annoyed. "No way, Berry."

"Well, the last time you sang a solo, we tied, and it was my solos at Regionals that gave us the advantage over the Warblers," Rachel snapped, she and Santana falling into their usual argument over solos. "Right, Kurt?"

"The only advantage you had over the Warblers was that you didn't do a gay duet," Kurt said, not caring if the information was true as long as it shut the two girls up. The New Directions had deserved to win. "If Blaine and I hadn't sang together, we probably would have tied again." Why did Rachel think he was privy to this information? Everyone was kind of staring at him at the end of his little speech. "What?" he asked.

"Nothing," Rachel said, fighting a smile instead of being mad like Kurt had expected.

"We should have planned for this," Mike added, clearly working with Kurt on the goal of getting Rachel and Santana off their chosen topic.

"Vocal Adrenaline's definitely going to have a set list of originals songs they prepared, knowing they would go to Showcase," Tina agreed, holding Mike's hand and playing every inch the devoted girlfriend. Clearly, she had picked up on the tension between Artie and Mike over her.

"What the fuck are we arguing about?" Puck asked finally, and Kurt didn't notice that he was annoyed about whatever he had been talking about with Quinn. He really, really didn't. At least, he didn't care anymore. "We don't have songs and as much as you two bitch at each other, that won't change." He did _not_ have a point.

"He has a point," Quinn said, taking a seat on the end of one of the beds, next to Chang Squared. Puck hovered near the door still. "My question is, where is our loyal director when he actually need him?"

"Probably gloating to Goolsby," Santana said with disgust.

"Asshole deserves it," Puck muttered. No one mentioned their lack of Jesse (when had he arrived in the first place?). Everyone knew he had only tolerated the New Directions because his obsession with Rachel.

"I have a novel idea," Mercedes said with considerable sass. "What if _everyone _gets a solo?" Most people looked at her in shock, Rachel looked at her in horror. "Or at least a duet part," she continued, not caring about the reaction she was getting. "One solo, one duet, and one group song is actually a good format for our set."

"There's no way we can fit nine solos in one song," Rachel said sharply, "and we aren't admitted the time required for four songs."

"Fine, no solo," Mercedes said with a smirk, "even though I was thinking the solo would be yours. You're our star, after all." Mercedes ignored Rachel's little indignant shriek.

"That would be a great way to end our year," Sam agreed, ignoring the few whip sounds he got from the rest of the room. "Everyone getting to sing and display the talent that got us where we are." Mercedes smiled brightly at him, and he gave her a quick kiss, prompting some fake-gagging sounds.

"But what shall we perform?" Rachel said, standing up to pace in the front of the room. Even though they weren't in the choir room, they were sitting like they were, roughly lined up on one side of the room as the person talking stands in front of all of them. "Finn and I should obviously take the duet-"

"Like hell you should," Santana interrupted. "Last time we let you and Frankenteen sing together, you almost blew our chances. We're keeping you two as far away from each other as possible."

"Plus, the people that already got solos during the first leg of the competition should be displayed less than those who weren't," Tina added, despite being in the former category. "Not to say that they shouldn't sing, but maybe they should be the duet parts in the group songs?"

"Now we just need to decide what we're going to sing," Quinn said over Rachel's protests. "Who had solos today? Finn and Rachel, obviously. Santana, Brittany, Artie, and Tina. Is that it?" General nods and murmurs of agreement answered Quinn's question. "So, lead performers are me, Mercedes, Mike, Sam, Kurt, and Puck." It was no coincidence that Quinn placed Kurt and his ex together. Kurt knew that. What was she plotting?

"And I don't sing," Mike added. Kurt rolled his eyes. Mike _could_ sing, Tina attested to that every time the Glee girls had a sleep-over, but he refused to, saying he would rather dance. Judging by the crackly performance Tina had managed to record on her cell phone for them one time, he was actually quite good, but nothing short of a miracle was going to convince him to sing.

"Is it sad that when you Google 'inspirational songs,' the first thing that comes up is 47 inspirational songs for young businessmen?" Tina asked, her precious iPhone in her hand.

"What songs do that have?" Quinn asked immediately. She seemed to have taken on the role of Rachel for the day.

"A lot of rap, especially Eminem." A few people groaned. "A lot of songs we've already done. "Lots of hip-hop, more recent stuff." As hard as the New Directions tried to be diverse, they would never pull off a hip-hop song. Only Artie could really rap.

"Any that we _wouldn't_ immediately veto?" Quinn asked.

"_I Gotta Feeling_, _Skyscraper_, _I Will Survive_, _Price Tag_... there are plenty," Tina replied, reading them off as she scrolled.

"Any that would sound good as group songs?" Kurt frowned at Quinn's question. _Skyscraper_ was more of a solo, but any of the others would work fine for group song.

"_I Dare You to Move, Eye of the Tiger, One Step at a Time..._" The first sounded okay, but the second was too stereotypical and the third wasn't really a good group song.

"I have a feeling Google isn't going to be very much help," Mercedes said with a roll of her eyes, and Quinn nodded in agreement.

"Any ideas?" If there was a question not to ask the New Directions, that was it.

"If we're doing two group songs, one of them should be more modern, which means it's more accessible to the audience, and the other should be older and more accessible to the judges," Rachel added her two cents, sitting on the windowsill and pouting that she was no longer the center of Glee club wisdom. She had a point though.

"Something by OneRepublic would probably work for the more current one," Finn added, absolutely loving that band. It was a good idea, their songs would be hard to pull off, but worth it. They were very catchy, well-written, and had a wide range available for vocals.

"What about the old song?" Quinn asked.

"And the duet?" Mercedes asked. Kurt knew that she was hoping she and Sam would sing the duet together. It made sense: neither of them had gotten a solo for the first leg of the competition they would probably sound good together, and they were really the only stable couple the New Directions had ever had. It would work.

"What time period should the duet be in?"

"Maybe it should be one of those songs that's awesome, but not well enough known to be easily placed by everyone in the audience? So instead of trying to place and mouth along to the song, they can just enjoy the performance."

"Could we write one original song and have it be the duet?"

A plan slowly formed as the New Directions worked together better than they ever had, even without Mr. Schuester to keep them in line (they still had no idea where he was). Eventually, they came up with a set list that would hopefully blow Vocal Adrenaline out of the water and blow the judges away with their talents. Kurt had the sinking feeling that things would not be as perfect when they woke up tomorrow.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I am terribly sorry for the long wait on this chapter. It took me a while to re-acquaint myself with this story, and figure out exactly where I was going with it. Now that I know, it's much easier to write, and I'm pretty excited. I hope you all understand where Puck is coming from now (Quinn's completely accurate. She's pretty much my way of editorializing the story at this point, since people seem to think Puck's such a bad guy. He's a little stupid, but he's working on it). I had to warp canon a little to keep them in New York longer, plus, the set list is important. I tried not to include all the lyrics to all the songs, I hope you guys appreciate. Also, I find it kind of ironic that I used **_**Spectacular**_** so much in this fic (I re-read the entire thing while planning this fic's future) considering that Nolan Gerard Funk (Hunter Clarington/the lead in **_**Spectacular**_**, Nikko) is now on Glee!Also, the Google result I mentioned in this chapter is the one I used for song references. Just in case you were curious.**

**I was going to continue with the second day of the competition in this chapter, but it's already fairly long. So, I will make you guys a promise. It is 9 P.M. Tuesday evening where I am as I write these author notes. I promise that by Friday at 8 P.M., you, my lovely readers, will have another chapter of this story, which will include the Showcase and their return to Lima... maybe even beyond that.**

**Songs mentioned/used:  
><strong>'_Yeah!' by Chris Brown (indirectly mentioned)  
>'<em>As Long As You're There' by Glee Cast<br>'_Pretending' by Glee Cast  
>'<em>Light Up the World' by Glee Cast<br>'_Break Your Heart' by Taio Cruz feat. Ludacris (mentioned)  
>'<em>I Gotta Feeling' by the Black-Eyed Peas (mentioned)<br>'_Skyscraper' by Demi Lovato (mentioned)  
>'<em>I Will Survive' by Gloria Gaynor (mentioned)<br>'_Price Tag' by Jessie J (mentioned)  
>'<em>I Dare You to Move' by Switchfoot (mentioned)<br>'_Eye of the Tiger' by Survivor (mentioned)  
>'<em>One Step at a Time' by Jordin Sparks (mentioned)<em>___________

**Reviews are Love. The challenge commences.**


	23. Showcase

All of the New Directions had ended up falling asleep in the girls' room, slumped over chairs or lying on the ground. Deciding on, arranging, and choreographing the numbers they had planned had taken long into the night. Mr. Schuester was the one to wake them up at eight o'clock.

"Mr. Schuester," Rachel said brightly before anyone could criticize him for not showing up until the morning after Nationals. She had clearly recovered from being upstaged the night before by Quinn, and was back to her bright-eyed and bubbly self. Perfect. Just what everyone needed in the morning. "We have great news. We've arranged and choreographed songs."

"What are your ideas?" Kurt raised an eyebrow at that. 'Ideas'? As if there weren't set in stone by now. Maybe he just thought Rachel was being her normal, crazy self.

"Mercedes and Sam will be singing Herp Albert's _This Guy's in Love With You_, obviously with gender adjustments." Mr. Schuester was already frowning. This couldn't be good. "We planned the number _Carry On_ by fun. for our first group number and we thought we could end with _We Go Together_, from _Grease_." Rachel looked incredibly proud of herself, even though most of the planning hadn't been her idea at all.

"You guys can't do those," Mr. Schue said as if he really had a choice in the matter at this point. "Not only can we only do songs we have licensing for, and _none_ of those do we have licensing for, but Herp Albert refuses licensing to all show choirs. The rights to his songs are reserved for famous covers only. Fun.'s new enough that they're reserving their licenses, and we don't have a competition license for them, and the Portland Scale Blazers are doing _Grease_, and since they were number one, they're going first."

"That means we're going last?" Rachel asked, and she beamed when Mr. Schuester nodded. "Excellent."

"Not excellent, Rachel," Santana snapped, and it seemed as if the equilibrium New Directions had briefly reached to prepare was gone. "That means we have no songs, and limited options as to what we can perform." Mr. Schuester nodded. "We have to do songs by artists we've already done."

"But in competition, we've only done _Funny Girl_, the Rolling Stones, Queen, Journey, songs from Dirty Dancing, and Amy Winehouse." Rachel was freaking out, and Kurt knew the feeling. "We can't limit our catalogue that much."

"Plus, we have to re-arrange all of our numbers," Tina added, she and Mike having done most of the choreography for the numbers they had planned.

"We're screwed," Puck announced.

"Guys, it's not like this hasn't happened before," Finn said, but it wasn't as motivational as he intended it to be. They had mere hours to arrange not one, but three songs. An entire competition set list.

"Most Broadway shows are open, and I brought," Mr. Schue continued, pulling out the folders, "all the licensing agreements we have, along with a list of open agreements that minor artists have. This is your guys' limitations. I'll go grab breakfast for everyone." They knew what that meant. No leaving the room until they had all of their songs for Showcase taken care of. So much for a few hours of enjoying New York.

Rachel was flipping through Mr. Schuester's licensing folder as he left. "Obviously, we still need to do a Broadway standard, but there are so few Broadway standard group songs that aren't story-dependent!" she stressed as she went through all of the letters.

"We could go stereotype," Kurt suggested, picking up one of the letters Rachel had dropped. If his life were a sitcom, it would be the letter for the show he was thinking of. Sadly, it wasn't.

"What do you mean?" Rachel asked, not even looking up at him. She was losing it. Other people were starting to chatter, Quinn and Tina suggesting ideas for a new duet between Sam and Mercedes. Everyone looked discouraged though. Was there a possibility to give in now, before they could embarrass themselves in front of the top nine show choirs in the nation?

"_Seasons of Love_," Kurt replied simply. "It's a group song, open to wide interpretation, and there's no traditional choreography associated with it. _We Go Together_ conjures up imagines of a Ferris wheel and dancing around a carnival in clothes from the 1950s. _Seasons of Love_ brings up spot lights and solemn faces, if anything. It's an open book." Rachel looked up for a moment, lips pursed. Considering it.

"Perhaps," she decided, leafing back through the folder. "It's in our official wheelhouse," she continued, handing him their license for _RENT_, "and it does offer the opportunity for lots of solos. Talk about it with the group, I still have to find another song." For some reason, this was now her responsibility. Kurt didn't argue, simply because he didn't have the energy, approaching the other members of the New Directions.

"You could do _Don't Go Breaking My Heart_," Tina suggested, sounding resigned and rather hopeless.

"Rachel and Finn did that song, didn't they?" Sam asked, eyebrows pulling together in confusion.

"It doesn't really matter," Quinn emphasized. "As long as we've never performed it in front of an audience, the judges are none the wiser."

"Do you guys really want to do the duet?" Tina asked finally, after Mercedes and Sam had turned down a hundred options for various reasons. "We need to get through this quickly, and there's only a certain number of songs were you two will sound good and Merce won't overpower Sam." She had a point. Several points, in fact.

"What do you guys think of _Seasons of Love_?" Kurt asked in the lull in conversation as Sam and Mercedes appeared to consider that question. "As our closing song. Rachel's still mulling over what we should use for our audience-pleasing, popular middle song." At least, Kurt assumed that was the order they should put them in. The duet first, then the popular song, then the one that would leave the best impression on the judges.

"That's a lot of arranging," Mercedes said, probably one of the only people in the group who could sing even a line of the song he was talking about, "and a lot of people don't know that song, but it would be worth it if we could pull it off."

"Eureka!" Finn yelled out, and Kurt sincerely regretted teaching him that exclamation. "OneRepublic is totally on here." Fate was with Finn that day, he had pushed all the way through last night for a OneRepublic song to be their pop song, and since he had already arranged it, they really didn't have the time to argue.

"Finn, who has solos in your arrangement of _Feel Again_?" Kurt asked as Mercedes Googled the lyrics to _Seasons of Love_ on her phone for the curious New Directioneers who had never seen RENT.

"Sam, Quinn, Tina, Rachel, Puck, Santana, Brittany, Artie, you, Mercedes, me..." Finn read off a little guiltily. That was everyone, besides Mike. Kurt sighed. "But everyone knows this song, dude!" Finn argued, knowing what Kurt was thinking, and he had a point.

"Fine. Either write one out for everyone or go photo-copy that in the lobby. And no," he continued before Finn could ask, "you can't bring Rachel with you. She needs to help us with duet ideas now, and you're old enough to walk through a hotel alone." Finn left without further argument, Rachel settling down on the bed that had become mission control.

"This'll work, Hummel," Santana said, handing Mercedes' phone back to Kurt for some reason.

"Do you want to arrange it, or shall I?" Rachel asked, reaching to take the phone from Kurt's hand, but he held onto it. Knowing Rachel, she would leave the parts as they are, casting herself as Joanne and Finn as Collins. No way.

"I'll do it. You guys should be working on the duet."

Kurt had just been struck with a brilliant idea to make sure everyone got a part in _Seasons of Love_ when Finn returned with the copies of _Feel Again_. Kurt went through, noticing that Sam was the lead, with Puck having the next biggest part. He barely had anything, but he didn't mind. Not only could he write himself into _Seasons of Love_, but the only other part he had gotten for competition with the New Directions was _one_ duet line with Finn at the Regionals they lost. This was definite improvement.

"So, if you guys aren't doing the duet, who is?" Kurt heard Rachel ask from over by mission control, and everyone looked over quickly. Kurt heard several sore necks crack. Mercedes and Sam both looked a little bit sheepish, but they couldn't find a song.

"Definitely not you and Whale," Santana said with a roll of her eyes. "We already suffered through that particular train wreck."

"We made it to Showcase!" Rachel argued. "How is that a train wreck?"

"We were tenth. I bet we would have been sixth or seventh if you and Finn hadn't decided that center stage was a good place to make out," Santana snapped. Quinn stepped in before Santana and Rachel could continue arguing.

"Someone else should get a chance to sing," she agreed with Santana. "Who in the group does really good duets?"

"Kurt and I have done some amazing songs, but we're already doing a Broadway standard, and that's our mutual wheelhouse," Rachel said, and Kurt was a little bit honored that he was the first person Rachel had thought of.

"Santana and I could do a kick-ass duet," Mercedes offered. It wasn't that Mercedes and Sam didn't _want_ to do the duet, there just wasn't enough time to find a song that would compliment them both.

"You and I have sang some great ones," Sam said to Quinn, who ignored him. "And neither of us had a solo last night." Had Nationals really only been last night?

"Finn could do a duet with _you_," Rachel said to Quinn, sounding wildly unhappy.

"Finn also sounds good with Santana," Brittany pointed out. She had been rather silent for the entirety of this process, but she did tend to get a little tense when there were unhappy vibes in the room.

"Rachel could do a duet with Mercedes. I heard _Take Me or Leave Me_ was amazing, and we could use some belting power. There's more harmonizing than there is belting in _Seasons of Love_."

"That would leave two songs from _RENT_," Rachel argued, but Kurt hadn't been suggesting they performed that song.

"I could sing with Brittany," Santana offered. It wasn't a great match-up, he had a feeling Santana just wanted to, but Brittany was definitely a better dancer than she was a singer.

"Puckie and Kurt could sing together." It was Brittany who suggested it, the one match-up Kurt had hoped they could skim over. There was technically a point to what Brittany was saying. They had sang together before, they sounded good together, and they had enough chemistry to make it work... but Kurt wasn't sure he could put aside his feelings for the team.

"And neither of them got solos either," Quinn added, and Kurt glared at her. She conveniently pretended to be unaware of the holes being bored in the side of her head.

"What could they sing though?" Rachel asked, standing up to grab the licensing folder again. "Using _Finally Free_ would be simply disrespectful, and I've never heard them sing anything else together."

"I don't want to sing with Puck," Kurt said.

"We've done another duet," Puck said at the exact same time. Kurt knew exactly what he had been thinking of, and knew he was going to say that. That had been exactly what he was trying to prevent.

"Kurt, we need you guys. You sound good together, but you're a little unconventional. Eye-catching, plenty of chemistry..." Mercedes was trying to sell him on the idea through logic, but he wasn't buying it.

"Princess, I know you're pissed at me," Puck said looking down at the floor in... shame? "But don't you think this is a little more important?"

"There are other potentials," Kurt replied. "I would rather Rachel and Finn duet and make out again than sing with you." Puck looked kind of stunned. It was totally unfair.

No one said anything for about ten seconds, than Rachel obviously couldn't take it anymore. "Mike, Tina, Santana, Brittany, you guys should get started on choreographing _Feel Again_. Kurt, do you have _Seasons of Love _organized?" Kurt nodded and stalked off to make copies without being asked.

* * *

><p>It was nice to get out of their prison. Kurt had seen so much of that room during their trip to New York, even going to the lobby was a refreshing change of pace. How sad was that? However, his relief was short-lived once he realized there were footsteps following him down the hallway, and they were being made by sneaker-covered feet that were trying to be sneaky and failing dramatically.<p>

"I can hear you," Kurt said, "you're mouth-breathing." That actually wasn't true, but he _had_ learned some things from his stint on the Cheerios. Mostly about intimidation.

"Says the one who practically swishes when he walks," Puck replied, as if that gave Kurt more incentive to talk to him. "You know we have to do this, right?" Kurt continued towards the elevator, and Puck continued following him.

"Santana and Mercedes could perform _River Deep, Mountain High_ as our opening song, and we would be fine. Better than fine, actually. Those two are phenomenal." Kurt didn't turn around as he reached the elevator bank and pressed the down button. He could feel Puck's presence behind him.

"Like Rachel's sane enough to let anyone ever perform something twice. Doesn't she believe in the 'sanctity of originality' or something?" Puck asked, and Kurt was... surprised. Annoyed, but surprised.

"You actually do listen when she talks. Commendable, but not enough of a good quality to outweigh all of your bad." Puck snorted. Kurt wanted to slap him.

"Like?"

"Your inability to treat the people you're attracted to as humans rather than objects, for one," Kurt said icily. These elevators were taking an abnormally long time.

"What if I told you that's changed? I've changed." That was the last straw. Kurt whirled on him.

"Oh, so you're ready to fall in love?" Kurt asked incredulously. "You're ready to give up girls, _all_ girls, for me? You're ready to make a commitment and actually be honest with someone about the way you feel for the first time in your life? I know you, Puck, maybe as well as you know yourself, and that _terrifies_ you. So why don't you just admit that you're not ready to be with me and we can go back to the way things were?"

At some point during his speech, the elevator had dinged, but he didn't particularly cared. Puck looked shocked again, and a little hurt, but mostly confused. Kurt whipped back around, coming face-to-face with a very uncomfortable-looking Mr. Schuester, holding multiple bags that smelled _delicious_ to someone who hadn't eaten since... pizza last night. Kurt stalked into the elevator, ignoring that Mr. Schuester had heard their conversation and hoping Puck didn't follow him. Just when he thought the jock wasn't going to, Puck's hand slid between the doors and opened the elevator back up.

"Maybe I'm not ready for all that," he said, moving to lean against the door so Kurt couldn't end the conversation, no matter how many items he pushed the button marked 'doors close,' "but I definitely don't want to go back to the way things were."

"Why can't you just leave me alone?" Kurt asked, incredibly frustrated with his idiotic ex. The last thing he wanted to do was deal with him every five seconds.

"Because I'm not ready to give up on you," Puck said, and Kurt was surprised by the conviction in his voice. He still wasn't sure he believed Puck though. "_Sometimes it's hard to see what's been there all_-"

"That's the woman's part," Kurt snapped.

"That's _your_ part," Puck said, stepping out of the way of the doors, back into the hallway, just as Kurt hit the button. Kurt had granted his ex the dramatic exit he wanted. Damn it.

* * *

><p>Kurt returned with copies and glanced at the rough sketches of choreography for <em>Feel Again<em>. It seemed to be rather informal, the kind of goofy choreography they did in private that actually ended up looking pretty good, with a few more professional moves thrown in. It was perfect considering their time restraints. If they forgot any steps, they could just improvise. "Looks great," he said to Brittany, who smiled and reached up to kiss him. Kurt angled so she got his cheek. "Here's _Seasons of Love_," he said, handing them all a copy. "The original scene is just a group of people standing in separate spotlights, so either we can make it more complex, or more dramatic. It's all up to you guys." Mike nodded, taking the sheet and immediately starting to scribble things down. Kurt left them to it.

"So, what's the name of your duet with Noah?" Rachel asked as he approached mission control, and Puck had obviously managed to convince them all that Kurt had agreed to this. He hadn't, not really, but Puck was right. They were the only ones who really had a duet prepared that had never been performed, and Rachel was truly that crazy.

"_For the First Time_," Kurt said with a sigh, ignoring how pleased Puck looked with himself. It didn't matter in the long run, it was just a song.

"Will you guys be choreographing that?" Mike asked, not trying to perpetuate the drama but just wanting to know if they needed to be less specific about _Seasons of Love_ so they had more time to spend on _For the First Time_. Sometimes Kurt wondered if Mike was the only member of the New Directions who had absolutely no interest in dramatics.

"Yes, I think we can manage that," Kurt said, sending a baleful glare Puck's way. Puck ignored it. "We will need to know where you plan to go with the choreography for _Seasons of Love_ though, because we don't want all of our dancing to be simple." Mike nodded.

"We might want to go dramatic on that," Mike replied, "with a lot of spotlights. With the number of match-ups here, there isn't much else to do. If we had more time..." Kurt nodded in understanding. That meant he had to dance with Puck. Great. However, that _did_ remind him that he hadn't distributed _Seasons of Love_ to everyone else, so he did so.

"We'll need to work on all the harmonies once people know their parts," Rachel said, her eyes scanning down the sheet music as she frowned. She didn't have much in the way of solos for this competition, and it must have been an unwelcome feeling for her. "Especially for the duet and small group parts."

"Princess, we should probably get to work," Puck said, leaning against the door to the hotel room. "We could work in the boys' room, it would give us more room." Puck sounded casual, but Kurt knew he was the butt of one of Puck's plans right now, and he didn't appreciate it.

Kurt stalked off to the boys' room, a mixture of angry and resolved. "Before you say anything," he said, cutting off Puck as he opened his mouth, "_this_," he gestured to the room, "has nothing to do with _this_," he gestured between the two of them, "and I would like to keep it that way. So, we're going to pretend that we're total strangers, we're going to choreograph this duet, and that's it. Got it?"

"Got it," Puck said, and Kurt was surprised but pleased that he had given in that quickly.

"The choreography for the movie involves longing looks and karaoke machines and gives us absolutely nothing to work with," Kurt continued, pulling out Rachel's sticker-covered laptop for sheet music. "I was thinking we start on opposite ends of the stage, facing the audience, converging towards the middle, turn towards each other at 'face to face,' and being dancing on the first chorus, but we should keep it straightforward. A waltz would be easiest. A tango would be overkill, and is more... sexually-charged," Kurt decided on. "A quick turning box step, with a twirl on 'you and I'..." This was a bad idea. "Do you think you could lift me?"

"How much do you weigh?" Kurt glared at Puck. "Never mind. Yeah, probably." That was _not_ a lecherous up-and-down, Kurt reminded himself firmly, it was just for the purposes of... observation.

"Never mind," he decided. "That would look too..." It would make Kurt the girl, essentially, and that wasn't going to happen. Spinning was one thing, lifts were another. "At the end of the second chorus, we can stop the waltz and... do you remember _No Air_?" He felt bad for Mike now. Choreographing was difficult.

"Um..."

"Do you remember Finn and Rachel's abysmal dancing?" Kurt asked, taking Puck's hands. "At the beginning of the bridge, we separate like this, I let go of this hand, turn us this way, and at the last line, you can twist me into your arms." It looked good, and Kurt was ignoring how uncomfortable he was. He cleared his throat when Puck didn't release him for a few moments. "The rest of the New Directions will enter on the chorus," Santana and Brittany could dance together, since the ratio would be skewed, "which means we can do abysmal, stereotypical show choir chasing each other around the stage. On the last line, pull me close..." Puck did so, leaving them inches from each other, though Kurt questioned the plurality of that statement, "but _under no circumstances_ can we repeat Finn and Rachel's mistake."

Puck, surprisingly, didn't say anything, letting Kurt go almost immediately after he said that. "Want to ruin through it all?"

* * *

><p>Kurt's stomach was in worse knots for the Showcase than it had been for Nationals. They were coasting at this point, the choreography shaky, and the lyrics hastily memorized. Thankfully, they had been indecisive earlier, so they didn't have the same costumes. Purple had been the other color they were considering for Nationals, so those were the dresses they used for Showcase. Merlot-colored, they were called, with baby dot sequins. The dress had a sweetheart neckline and cummerbund with rhinestone buckle, the thick straps gathered in the front and back. They looked really good, and they sparkled under the stage lights. The girls' heels were silver, which tied them to the boys' costume, and a rhinestone that tied them to their dresses. The boys' costumes thankfully weren't as complicated as the ones for Nationals had been. Most of them had even managed to put them on without help from Kurt (there had been a whole lesson on tying ties). The white jacket was casual, on top of a gray shirt with a silvery tone to it and a striped purple tie, blank pants and dress shoes completing the look.<p>

The Showcase was a lot more organized than Nationals, though it was held in the same building. They were ushered to a green room (something they hadn't had the day before), and informed of their performance slot and the timing of the competition. Rachel was stubbornly sticking by Kurt's side, ignoring the advances of both Finn, who was being a little bit pushy, and Jesse, who had joined them at the lobby and seemed to be trying to prove his loyalty. She was squeezing his hand tightly, acting as nervous as Kurt felt.

Watching the Portland Scale Blazers perform wasn't helping anyone's news, and they were first. They hadn't been quite as mind-blowing the day before, but now they seemed dangerously talented. Mr. Schuester had been correct in the fact they were doing _Grease_. They opened with a balladeer _almost_ as talented as Rachel doing _Hopelessly Devoted to You_, two balladeers with great chemistry performing _You're the One that I Want_, and the entirety of the choir finished with _We Go Together._ If Mr. Schuester hadn't tipped them off not to perform that number, they would have been in trouble right about then. The Portland Scale Blazers, Kurt decided, reminded him a little bit of the Warblers, except they weren't a cappella. Maybe it was just the blazers. All the boys were wearing blue and gray blazers and gray pants, the girls matching well in blue dresses with gray accents. They were incredibly good and excruciatingly nerve-wracking.

The Portland Scale Blazers and Vocal Adrenaline were pretty much the contestants for first place, and Kurt wasn't sure the New Directions could reach that level. He was pretty sure, after watching Sunshine Corazon belt out three new original songs, that the only reason they hadn't been named first was some sort of penalty for performing only one song. Singaz Wit Attitude and Jefferson City Airplane, while good, weren't anywhere near the first and second place winners. There were six teams between Vocal Adrenaline and the New Directions' performance. He was almost certain the New Directions could place well, if not win. Overconfidence hadn't done them many favors.

By the time they were ushered backstage (during the performance of the 9th place team, Vocal Extreme), Kurt's hand was numb due to Rachel's tight grip, and the New Directions, for the first time in history, were completely silent.

"Here goes," Santana said ruefully when Vocal Extreme had finished and Kurt and Puck took their places on opposite sides of the stage. Kurt's stomach was knotted so bad it was practically cramping, and judging by his expression, Puck was feeling the same way.

"And now, in tenth place, from William McKinley High in Lima, Ohio, the New Directions!" the announced boomed out their introduction, this one being much more enthusiastic than the last, and Puck smiled at him as their song began to play. Kurt gave him a quick smile in return. He wasn't stone-hearted.

Kurt took a deep breath and tried not to over-think it (or vomit). He had done this before. He stepped into the spotlight, opened his mouth, and began to sing.

_Sometimes, it's hard to see  
><em>_What's been there all along  
><em>**Sometimes, we're sure of everything  
><strong>**Till we find out that we're all wrong  
><strong>_**Now we're standing here, face to face  
><strong>__Nothing feels the same_

Kurt was focused on the words, trying to remember the bits of flair they had added to his original, quickly-sketched out choreography. He could feel the gazes of the New Directions on his back, and he wasn't sure what was worse: looking at the audience, or looking at Puck.

_**For the first time  
><strong>__**I realize something I didn't see before  
><strong>__**For the first time, looking in your eyes  
><strong>__**Suddenly there's so much more  
><strong>__**Something we both feel inside for the first time**_

The choreography was working better than Kurt had expected, the slightly hesitant and classical dance melding well with the up-beat, almost rock song, which slowed down for the verses. Puck even threw in a few extra moves, dipping him slightly and adding another twirl. By the time they were belting out the second chorus, the audience was already cheering, and it felt... amazing. Not amazing enough to make him stupid, but still... absolutely wonderful.

_How did we ever end up here?  
><em>_I don't know, but it feels so right  
><em>**The last thing, I ever expected is  
><strong>_**Happening**_**, it's you and I, **_Ohhh  
><em>_**There's something real,  
><strong>_**I can't explain, **_oohh,_ **and nothing feels the same**

_**For the first time  
><strong>__**I realize something I didn't see before  
><strong>__**For the first time, looking in your eyes  
><strong>__**Suddenly there's so much more  
><strong>__**Something we both feel inside for the first time**_

The waltz stopped here, Kurt sliding back enough so that their dance hold separated and they were holding hands. Kurt let go with one hand, walking around the front of Puck and almost twirling him, so that they were holding hands again, and a lot closer. As Kurt belted out his solo line, Puck twisted him just perfectly, not even banging his arm off Kurt's head (Puck had to lift his arms over Kurt's head to twist him as such, and there had been several incidents during their first run-through), wrapping his arms around Kurt's middle and holding his hands still, the embrace very... intimate, but worth it as it added to the atmosphere of the song.

**I can't find the words  
><strong>_**For how I feel about you  
><strong>__**Just want to be around you now  
><strong>__I never imagined,_** ohhh, yeah  
><strong>_**That someone could make me feel the way you do**_

As the guitar built up for the last chorus, the New Directions entered to a round of cheers, adding background vocals as Puck released Kurt. They were waltzing in pairs, the same way Kurt and Puck had been doing earlier, Santana and Brittany dancing together because of the uneven numbers. Judging by the brief flash of Brittany's face Kurt saw when Puck unexpectedly spun him, they were completely blissful.

_**For the first time  
><strong>__**I realize something I didn't see before  
><strong>__**For the first time, looking in your eyes  
><strong>__**Suddenly there's so much more  
><strong>__**Something we both feel inside for the first time  
><strong>__Oohhh  
><em>_**For the first time...**_

Kurt had intended for their to be _some_ attempt at choreography after the New Directions had entered, but they ended up standing and belting the last chorus in perfect harmony, and since the New Directions were actually doing pretty well with the simple waltz, it really didn't matter. As the song wrapped down, the New Directions stopped dancing, getting into places for _Feel Again_. Kurt sang out the last 'ohh,' Puck pulling him close as he did. There was a moment of perfect silence while the audience waited to see if there was going to be another incident, but after that moment, they broke out into wild applause. Kurt and Puck separated, Kurt slipping into the back row and Puck into the second, as the introduction to their second song began. Sam turned around first, being the first soloist and thus in the first row.

_It's been a long time coming since I've seen your face  
><em>_I've been everywhere and back trying to replace  
><em>_Everything that I had 'til my feet went numb  
><em>_Praying like a fool that's been on the run_

Quinn joined Sam, only having to turn around to do so, and began the join in on his choreography. Mike had planned the choreography and placing perfectly, so that the song could start out with as many dancers as their were voices and end with everyone involved. Sam had sounded even better singing Ryan Tedder's part than Kurt had expected, and their harmonies were even better for the latter half of the verse.

_**Heart's still beating but it's not working  
><strong>__**It's like a million dollar phone that you just can't ring  
><strong>__**I reached out trying to love but I feel nothing  
><strong>__**Yeah, my heart is numb**_

Finn and Tina, the other members of the first row, joined them for the little introduction to the chorus, singing in perfect harmonies. Kurt (who was peeking... a little) winced when he saw Finn step on Tina's foot, because goofy choreography was _not_ his best. Luckily, she didn't react at all except for a glare.

**But with you****  
><strong>I feel again<strong>  
><strong>Yeah, with you<strong>  
><strong>I can feel again<strong>**

Sam sang out the 'yeah' as the rest of the New Directions joined in, turning around and goofing off a little as they sang out the scatting that made the song so catchy. The moment everyone had turned around, the crowd started cheering again.

_Woo-hoo_  
><em>Woo-hoo<em>  
><em>Woo-hoo<em>  
><em>Woo-hoo<em>

Finn and Rachel sang out the two lines at the end of the chorus as everyone rearranged themselves through the dance, the second line becoming the first as everyone turned back around.

**_I'm feeling better ever since you know me__  
><em>I was a lonely soul but that's the old me<em>_**

Puck started off the second verse, and this was the most he had ever sang in a competition. Kurt had to admit (if only to himself) that he was doing pretty well with the pressure.

_It's been a long time coming since I've seen your face  
><em>_I've been everywhere and back trying to replace  
><em>_Everything that I broke 'til my feet went numb  
><em>_Praying like a fool just shy of a gun_

Rachel had insisted they go with the radio edit of that last line, because anything about shooting made theaters nervous, even if it was just lyrics. Santana joined Puck for the next part of the verse, and it was sad that they had never done a duet beyond a few lines. They sounded phenomenal.

_**Heart still beating but it's not working  
><strong>__**It's like a hundred thousand voices that just can't sing  
><strong>__**I reached out trying to love but I feel nothing  
><strong>__**Oh, my heart is numb**_

Kurt tried his best not to snicker at the rather... appropriate lyrics for the two of them. Brittany and Artie, the last two members of the second row, turned around the join in on the introduction to the chorus, Artie doing his best to turn quickly but having to do a small circle with his wheelchair to manage it. Brittany side-stepped to avoid having her foot run over, but she managed to make it into a dance move. She was so talented.

_**But with you  
><strong>__**I feel again  
><strong>__**And with you  
><strong>__**I can feel again**_

The next part had made Mike stress over the choreography. Sam and Finn were singing one part, starting with 'I'm feeling better,' and Kurt, Tina, Brittany, and Quinn were singing the other, the number of voices per line increasing in that order. The only issue was there was no way to choreograph that, so they were in charge of turning and dancing and ending up in two lines, the singers in the front and the dancers in the back. It was a little bit of a mess.

_But with you  
><em>**I'm feeling better ever since you know me  
><strong>_I feel again  
><em>**I was a lonely soul but that's the old me  
><strong>_Yeah, with you  
><em>**I'm feeling better ever since you know me  
><strong>_I can feel again  
><em>**I was a lonely soul**

Rachel got to belt out Ryan Tedder's 'woo-hoo', as the rest of the New Directions joined in with the repetitive harmonizing, and they sounded amazing. The crowd hadn't stopped cheering since they started, and people were starting to stand up.

**_Woo-hoo_**  
><strong><em>Woo-hoo<em>**  
><strong><em>Woo-hoo<em>**  
><strong><em>Woo-hoo<em>**

They were in charge of organizing themselves into two groups again. Rachel, Puck, Kurt, Brittany, Quinn, and Sam were the first group, singing 'I'm feeling better...' over and over again, as Mercedes, Finn, Tina, Santana, and Artie singing 'I was a lonely soul...' over and over. The only difficulty with the section was being in perfect synchronization, so that no one was a half-beat behind and the song started to sound cluttered instead of complex.

_I'm feeling better ever since you know me  
><em>**I was a lonely soul, but that's the old me  
><strong>_I'm feeling better ever since you know me  
><em>**I was a lonely soul, but that's the old me  
><strong>_I'm feeling better ever since you know me  
><em>**I was a lonely soul, but that's the old me**

Sam, Kurt, Quinn, and Puck were in charge of finishing off the last bit of the song. The ending had four lines, Sam singing the first, Sam being joined by Kurt on the second, etc. For the very last line, which was simply the title of the song and it's iconic 'woo-hoo,' everyone would sing. There was no dancing for this part, though the four singers stepped into four spot lights, the whole stage lighting up on the very last line. It looked very cool, and Kurt had to feel bad for whoever was in charge of the lights and had been forced to deal with a stressed out Rachel earlier.

_I'm feeling better ever since you know me  
><em>_**I was a lonely soul but that's the old me  
><strong>_**A little wiser now but you show me  
><strong>_**Yeah, I feel again  
><strong>_Feel again... Woo-hoo

They were receiving a standing ovation by the time they had finished, and everyone breathed a sigh of relief. That had been by far the most complicated number they had to do (_Seasons of Love_ also had complex solo patterns, but less choreography and rearranging). The worst was over, all they had to do was wrap it up.

The lights dimmed completely in the theatre as the piano introduction to _Seasons of Love_ began, and they sang out the first lines in complete darkness, stepping into the tape-marked spots for the spotlights, harmonizing so well even the Warblers would have been jealous.

_Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes  
><em>_Five hundred twenty-five thousand moments so dear  
><em>_Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes  
><em>_How do you measure, measure a year?_

For the next part they were divided into little groups, each of them singing one line, and then all of them singing together. Rachel, Kurt, and Tina got the first section, while Santana and Finn did the next section. Then all of them sang together to round out the verse, all of them having gotten spotlights with each of their individual lines.

_In daylights  
><em>**In sunsets  
><strong>In midnights  
><em><strong>In cups of coffee<br>**_**In inches  
><strong>_In miles  
><em>_**In laughter, in strife**_

_In five hundred twenty-five thousand, six hundred minutes  
><em>_How do you measure a year in the life?_

All of the New Directions sang together for the chorus, the stage lighting up with twelve spotlights. At the end of the... chorus, Kurt supposed, though anyone trying to decide on the musical form of _Seasons of Love_ would have a hard time, because no two parts of the song were really the same.

_How about love?  
><em>_How about love?  
><em>_How about love?  
><em>_Measure in love...  
><em>_Seasons of love...  
><em>_Seasons of love..._

The lights went out again, and Quinn, Mercedes, Sam, and Artie took the next verse, each of their spotlights lighting up as they sang, and staying on until the chorus. Quinn and Mercedes sang two lines each, and then Sam and Artie sang one line each. No one got a very substantial solo, but everyone at least sang, except Mike. He refused.

_Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes!  
><em>_Five hundred twenty-five thousand journeys to plan  
><em>**Five hundred twenty-five thousand, six hundred minutes  
><strong>**How do you measure the life of a woman or a man?  
><strong>_**In truths that she learned, or in times that he cried  
><strong>In bridges he burned, or the way that she died_

Kurt had needed to create a solo here, Brittany and Puck singing the first part of the... Kurt again hesitated to call it a chorus. Either way, they sang the first four lines together, and then the rest of the New Directions came in.

_**It's time now to sing out,  
><strong>__**Though the story never ends  
><strong>__**Let's celebrate  
><strong>__**Remember a year in the life of friends**_

_Remember the love...  
><em>_Remember the love...  
><em>_Remember the love...  
><em>_Measure in love...  
><em>_Seasons of love...  
><em>_Seasons of love!_

Rachel, Mercedes, Kurt, and Santana, the four most powerful voices in the group, were in charge of singing out Joanne's belting as the rest of the New Directions joined in with the not-really-a-chorus.

**Oh, you got to, got to  
><strong>**Remember the love!  
><strong>**You know that love is a gift from up above!  
><strong>**Share love, give love, spread love!  
><strong>**Measure, measure your life in love!**

They had decided to continue into _Seasons of Love B_ at the end, since their whole performance without the extra minute amounted to almost ten minutes. They had fifteen. Plus, they would get credited for singing four songs.

They sang the beginning of _B_ in pairs. First Finn and Rachel, then Artie and Brittany, Quinn and Sam, Kurt and Puck (he had no idea how this had happened. Originally, he had kept him and Puck apart, but he had been outvoted. Their spotlights were next to one another, and he had a feeling that was Quinn's fault), Mercedes and Santana, and Tina (who was technically singing with Mike, but it was a gamble if he would actually open his mouth and sing).

_In diapers  
><em>**Report cards  
><strong>_In spoke wheels  
><em>_**In speeding tickets  
><strong>__In contracts, dollars  
><em>**In funerals and births**

Everyone sang the last part together, and it was magic. No one was clapping, but Kurt had a feeling they were all too entranced. Not only had they pulled everything off perfectly, everyone had remembered the words, and their harmonies sounded particularly wonderful that day.

_In five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes,  
><em>_How do you figure our last year on earth?  
><em>_Figure in love...  
><em>_Figure in love...  
><em>_Figure in love...  
><em>_Measure in love...  
><em>_Seasons of love...  
><em>_Seasons of love!_

* * *

><p>All ten teams were called up to the stage about half an hour after the New Directions' performance, which was a little cramped, but worth it. The half an hour between performing and results was the worst and most exciting time in the group's history, and everyone was practically vibrating with pent-up nerves and excitement by the time they were standing on stage. Rachel had dragged him and Puck up to the front with her, holding both of their hands rather tightly.<p>

They didn't even spare seven teams the nerves of announcing the top three. They simple announced third, then first, then second. It was the standard for show choir competitions, but usually second place was obvious through process of elimination.

"In third place," the announcer said, and Kurt didn't remember him being introduced at _all_. Everything but the actual performances were such a haze in his mind. "Singaz Wit Attitude." The announcer said it like he didn't quite understand the words while reading the name, but once he started saying it, it made sense. It was quite an entertaining tone.

Once the girls had finished celebrating and were filing off the stage, it was the moment everyone had been waiting for. This was the moment two days and sixty performances in the making. "And the winner of the 2011 National Show Choir Championship is... Vocal Adrenaline!" Everyone was yelling and screaming, the team hosting Sunshine onto their shoulders again and carrying her to get the trophy. "And since she's up here, it should be announced that Sunshine Corazon is our National MVP!" the announcer yelled as two Vocal Adrenaline lackys walked over with her on their shoulders. She seemed unsteady leaning down to get the trophy and ribbon., but they carried her and them off of the stage.

"I didn't even know they _did_ MVP," Rachel said muttered. She sounded annoyed that she hadn't gotten it, even though this was the first time in history when she actually _hadn't_ been the team's most valuable asset (Sectionals didn't count. They hadn't technically won, and if Rachel had sang, they probably would have, to be completely honest).

"There's no way we beat those dorks in blazers," Kurt heard Puck mutter, and for a second he thought Puck was talking about the Warblers. It was a silly thought, Puck had plenty more insulting names for the Warblers, all of which sounded vaguely like the actual name of their club.

"Shh!" Rachel insisted.

"The second place winner is... the Portland Scale Blazers!" the announcer called out, and everyone cheered, except for the New Directions. All the energy suddenly left them. They hadn't even placed.

The remainder of the day was a blur. They walked out of the theatre, received their placement (which was seventh. Respectively, that wasn't really all that bad, but it still felt awful to have worked so hard and not even have their result announced on stage), and headed out. Mr. Schuester bought them all dinner at an Olive Garden near Times Square, a little piece of home in the big city, and they were on a plane home the next day.

* * *

><p>The plane ride back to Lima was simultaneously much worse and much better than the ride to New York. For better, there was next-to-no drama (Brittany and Santana snuck away to... utilize the bathrooms again). For worse, all the excited energy about the competition was gone and replaced by what ifs. Also, they were going to <em>Lima<em>.

Final Glee Club meeting of the year should have been a very depressing occasion. There was a banner outside the choir room congratulating them for 7th place, with curly writing and an uplifting slogan, but it didn't seem to do anything for their morals. However, when Kurt actually reached the final meeting, everyone seemed to be in good spirits. Mike and Tina were sitting on the piano bench, laughing and flirting. Santana and Brittany were all wrapped up in each other, sitting and talking to a non-jealous looking Artie. Puck was talking to Quinn, but it didn't seem to be a serious conversation, since Sam and Mercedes joined it easily. Rachel and Finn walked through the opposite doors just as Kurt entered the room.

"We're back together!" Rachel announced with a big smile, Finn's arm wrapped around her tiny shoulders, and everyone cheered, Mercedes giving Rachel a hug and Kurt doing the same once he reached the little group.

"You guys want to see what seventh place looks like?" Mr. Schuester asked, holding up a little trophy with the Nationals symbol on it (the weird man holding a hollow ball that almost looked like an Emmy). Everyone whopped and cheered, Rachel yelling out "yay!" There was hugging and smiles, and everyone was happy for the moment.

* * *

><p>Two weeks. It had been two weeks since Nationals, and Kurt had just finished up his last final, rubbing his eyes to make the letters swimming in front of them go away. Finals were awful, but at least they were done, and he didn't have to worry about schoolwork for another... two and a half months. Awesome.<p>

He was surprised to see Puck and Finn sitting on the family couch playing Halo when he got home. Puck and Finn both had a free period during the period he had AP English, so they had finished their exams earlier that morning. That, of course, wasn't the reason it was a surprise. The reason was: during the two weeks that had passed since he and Puck sang a duet that didn't exactly clinch them Nationals, Puck hadn't spoken a word to him. He hadn't hugged him at the final meeting, he hadn't made a passing comment, sat next to him, or called him princess. In a way, it was a nice recess for Puck. On the other hand, it was starting to get on his nerves. When he had said he wanted them to go back to the way they were before, this isn't what he had meant.

"Having fun, boys?" Kurt asked as he headed for the kitchen, purposefully walking in front of the TV to make both of them upset. Finn complained, but Puck didn't say anything, just intelligently pausing the game so neither of them would get killed while Kurt was blocking the TV. How had they never thought of that before?

"Did you have fun with your final?" Finn asked, teasing. He always made fun of Kurt for taking had classes, but he never really meant it.

"Shut up," Kurt replied. "Want anything to drink?" he asked, pulling out a water for himself and taking a few sips, careful, at first, not to chug, and then realizing that it really didn't matter. He had two Glee-less months, he could chug a water bottle.

"No thanks, dude," Finn said. Puck was silent.

"Puck?" Kurt asked.

"No, thank you." It was the quietest Puck had ever spoken, and he sounded like a frightened little mouse. It was very odd.

Ignoring Puck's weird behavior, Kurt walked _behind_ the couch this time, headed upstairs to put his messenger bag in his closet, where it would reside for the next two and a half months. He loved summer vacation. Not only did it give him a chance to hang out with his newly-extended family and work some at the garage, not having school was always a good thing.

He heard a groan and smiled. He knew that groan. "Math is fun, isn't it?" he asked his dad, walking into the room he shared with Carole. Burt was sitting at his desk, the books for the shop spread out across his workspace.

"And it never goes away," Burt replied with a smile, a common bit of banter between them. Kurt had been helping his dad with the books since he was nine. It wasn't difficult, just time-consuming, and a mistake could make it all the worse. That was what the groan had meant. Burt had made a mistake.

"Where is it?" Kurt asked, looking down the columns, and Burt slid back in his chair.

"Thanks kiddo." Kurt acknowledged him with a noise. "I should really start doing this on the computer."

"The day you do that is the day I go hunting," Kurt vowed without looking up, making his father laugh. "You will always be behind on the times. That's a parents job."

"And I'm sure it's your job to make sassy remarks?"

"Exactly."

Kurt had found the mistake and was looking to circle all the sums it had affected when his dad asked him a very odd question. "So, what's with you and the Puckerman kid?" Kurt dropped his dad's calculator with a clang.

"Pardon?"

"I know you heard me, kid," Burt said, accusatory.

"With all due respect, dad, I really don't think you want to hear about my boy problems." After all, Kurt had been allowed two weeks to calm his feelings, and now he didn't want Puck dead. If Burt had asked a little earlier, Kurt would have happily told him and let his father kill Puck in the most gruesome way possible. And possibly watched.

"You went on a date with him, I told you I better meet him, you come home, I haven't met him, and he didn't say a damn word to you just now." His dad really didn't know anything, did he?

"You can hear us downstairs?"

"Why do you think that stupid video game of yours isn't at ear-bursting volumes like normal?"

"Touche." Kurt started the calculations, hoping he had distracted his father enough to avoid his questions.

"So, when am I gonna meet him?"

"You've met him."

"Kurt."

"We're not dating, dad." Burt looked at his son suspiciously.

"Should I ask?"

"We're not... no," Kurt said, shaking his head. "We're not 'strings-free' or something like that either." Kurt wrinkled his nose saying it, and Burt chuckled.

"Good man. What happened?"

"Dad."

"I'm gonna keep asking, kid, so you might as well tell me." Kurt sighed.

"We went on a date, it went fine, he didn't want to be together publicly, we got outed, things got complicated, and we're no longer together." Nothing Kurt had said was a lie. It just wasn't the whole truth, and he had a feeling Burt knew that. However, his father took what he said at face value.

"He seems like a pretty good kid," Burt said decisively.

"I thought you hated him."

"I hated the idea of him," Burt admitted. "Do you know why?"

"I can think of some reasons."

"He reminds me of me." That stopped Kurt cold. _What_? Obviously, his dad really didn't know the whole story, and his guess was probably _way_ off.

"Pardon?"

"I gotta admit I wasn't the best kid in high school. You know that." He had been there when his dad flipped out at Finn, and he knew that he was probably karmic retribution for the way his father had acted about gay people in high school.

"That doesn't make you anything like Puck?"

"But I was. I played football, I picked on nerds and queers," his dad didn't understand how insensitive that was, so Kurt let it go, "hell, I rode a motorcycle. I didn't treat girls too well either," his father admitted with remorse, but no shame. "But when I met your mother, and I actually had to chase someone for the first time, it straightened me right out, because she wasn't the kind of woman who was gonna take my bullshit." Kurt smiled. That was always the way he had pictured his mother. "Of course, that was in college, but you get the idea."

"Yes, well, Puck chased Quinn, lost, and went back to his womanizing ways. No everyone gets redeemed, Dad."

"Don't get me wrong, you know how much I love all your girls, and Quinn's been through a lot." Burt loved all of the Glee girls like they were his own daughters. Kurt knew his parents had always wanted a daughter. They got him. Sometimes, Kurt wondered if that was close enough. "But she needs someone who's going to bend to her will for the most part. She's that kind of woman, the exact opposite of her mother, and in some ways, the opposite of yours. She tamed me," Kurt wrinkled his nose at the rather gross and suggestive wording, "and I have a feeling you're doing the same thing to that Puckerman kid."

"You don't know Puck," Kurt settled on at the end of his father's little speech.

"You're right. I don't, but you do. And it's totally your decision if you think he's beyond redemption. I'm just saying, sometimes people aren't always as bad as they seem. I was just like Puck in high school, and I think I turned out all right." Kurt smiled, hugging his father around the shoulders.

"You're the best... and I finished your calculations. Mistake-free."

"I think that makes you the best, kiddo," his dad said with a chuckle, releasing him. "Go on, it's your summer vacation. You've dealt with numbers for long enough. Go play Halo with your idiots."

"So you _do_ know the name of our game."

"Shoo."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Nine thousand words of story (and lots of songs. Sorry to those song-dislikers). And it's 7:43 Friday night as I write this. You are welcome. This is the fastest update **_**ever**_**. So, not very many author's notes, I don't think. I hope I pleased all of those people who thought Puck was getting a little too pushy. He was pushy in the beginning of the chapter, he had to be to get past Kurt's pride, but he's knocked it off, and he'll be less pushy the next few chapters. I'm not entirely sure how much longer this story will be, but we're definitely over the two-thirds mark. Maybe even the three-fourths mark. Aye dios mio. Also, if the vocal parts look confusing, they're all in the writing between lyrics. I just differentiated sections, not people. If that makes any sense.**

**Anyway... Songs used/mentioned:  
><strong>'_This Guy/Girl's in Love With You_' by Herp Albert (mentioned)  
>'<em>Carry On<em>' by fun. (mentioned)  
>'<em>We Go Together<em>' from _Grease_ (mentioned)  
>'<em>Seasons of Love<em>' from _RENT  
><em>'_Don't Go Breaking My Heart_' by Elton John and Kiki Dee (mentioned)  
>'<em>Feel Again<em>' by OneRepublic  
>'<em>Take Me or Leave Me<em>' from _RENT _(mentioned)  
>'<em>Finally Free<em>' from Make It or Break It (sung by Jonny Pacar + Josie Loren; mentioned)  
>'<em>River Deep, Mountain High<em>' by Ike & Tina Turner (mentioned)  
>'<em>For the First Time<em>' from Spectacular! (sung by Nolan Gerard Funk + Tammin Sursok)  
>'<em>No Air<em>' by Jordan Sparks and Chris Brown (mentioned)  
>'<em>Hopelessly Devoted to You<em>' from _Grease_ (mentioned)  
>'<em>You're the One that I Want<em>' from _Grease_ (mentioned)  
>'<em>Seasons of Love B<em>' from _RENT_

**Reviews are Love. Challenge Completed.**


	24. Summer 2011

**A/N: It's summer time at McKinley! Wooo! Let the games begin :)**

* * *

><p>"Dude."<p>

"Dude?" Puck asked, for once not knowing what Finn meant.

"What's up?" he asked, pausing the game and jerking a finger upstairs. Kurt had just disappeared up there, and Puck was a little glad he was gone. The conversation they'd had by the elevators and singing that duet with him gave Puck a lot to think about, and he didn't really like the conclusions he had reached.

"Nothing," Puck said with a shrug, turning the game back on and forcing Finn to look at the screen. At least, that ploy worked until Finn got up and shut the TV off.

"You haven't said a word to him in like, forever," Finn pointed out, and when had he gotten observant? Puck wasn't liking all this new intelligence Finn was showing, especially when the lanky idiot was using it against him.

"So?"

"So. What's up?" Finn asked again, and Puck tossed his controller aside.

"Dude, there's no way that's happening." That wasn't exactly the conclusion Puck had reached, but it was the conclusion he had reached based on the conclusion he had reached. G-d, Kurt was giving him a complex.

"Why not?" Finn asked. Puck knew he was all happy in love with Rachel, and he was glad his bro was happy, but Finn needed to knock it off. Just because he had stolen a girl away from an asshole, didn't make him the ultimate authority on everything.

"Your little bro hates me," Puck pointed out, and they both knew it was true. Kurt wanted nothing to do with him, thanks to Quinn's big mouth and everything that had happened in New York, and very little was going to change his mind. "Nothing's gonna make him forgive me."

"Come on, dude, it's Kurt. It's not like he's _Rachel_." Finn really didn't see the similarities there, did he? Not even the fact that they had both liked him, both made out with Puck, both were the ultimate divas... they were practically the same person. Hell, both of them had dated Blaine.

"He might as well be. The only way he's even gonna look me in the eye again is if I'm his bitch for the rest of his life." Finn appeared to be considering this.

"Why don't you just do it?" What the fuck?

"I'll swear to the twelve tribes of Israel that I didn't just hear you right," Puck said. Not that swearing to his religious roots was a big deal (he was a convenience Jew), but Finn would get what he meant.

"Dude, you obviously like him."

"I think you're confusing 'like' with boning, Hudson," Puck said crudely, trying to gross Finn out enough to end the conversation.

"I don't think so," Finn said decisively after several moments of thought. "You've called me a sap for as long as we've known each other, but you're doing all the same things for Kurt that I've done for my girlfriends."

"Not true."

"Totally true," Finn countered immediately. "You think about him constantly, we talk about him constantly-"

"_You_ keep bringing him up!" Puck didn't have a counter to Finn's first point.

"You sing duets with him," Finn continued, obviously having picked up Rachel's talent for ignoring words she didn't like, "you hang out by his locker, you hang out with him all the time, you take him on dates, you invite him to play Halo-"

"At least he accepts." Rachel and Quinn both refused to play any sort of video game. Uptight bitches.

"You do way more for him than you've ever done for any Cheerio, no matter how hot."

"Technically, Kurt's a Cheerio. And he's pretty hot." Finn ignored that too.

"And you actually can be a good guy. When you're not being an asshole."

"I'm sorry, are you trying to set me up with Kurt or set us up?" Puck asked sarcastically, because yeah, this was getting a little gay. And no one had said 'dude' in a while.

"You've done a bunch of bad shit, but," Finn shrugged, "so have I-

"And he totally stalked you for years," Puck added with a little smirk.

"Exactly. He doesn't care what we've done, which kind of makes him better than all of us..." Finn said as if it had just occurred to him, and yeah, Puck had known Kurt was way above the rest of them for a while.

"Dude, can we stop this girly gossip thing?" Puck asked. "Not only is this stupid, it's weird and gay."

"Like you?" Finn asked, and Puck chucked his water bottle at him.

"I'm not gay."

"Whatever. You still want to bone my brother. Which is not cool, by the way."

"Then why are we having this conversation?"

"I know you're kind of emotionally retarded," Kurt must have taught him that phrase, there was no way he came up with that on his own, "but if you really like my bro, you've gotta go all out, or I'll kick your ass."

"All right, pansy, what do you suggest?" The conclusion Puck had reached was that nothing short of a sappy movie's level of pathetic-ness was going to get Kurt back on his side (or in his bed. Either worked). The conclusion Puck had reached based on that conclusion was that he better give up on Kurt now, because there was no way he was doing that.

"First thing you gotta do is admit that you don't just want to nail him." Finn wrinkled up his nose a little saying it, another habit he had picked up from Kurt. It always made Finn look like his face was spazzing. On Kurt, it was cute.

"Not true."

"Totally true. First thing you gotta do to get help is admit that you have a problem."

"Are you calling your little brother my problem?"

"Your problem is that you like Kurt and can't have him. I'm your help, now you just need to admit it." Someone had taught this lug to argue. It could be Kurt, or it could be Rachel, but either way, Puck kind of wanted to kill them. From age five until age sixteen, Puck had been able to win any conversation just by confusing Finn. Didn't seem to be the case anymore.

"Just tell me what to do, Hudson."

"No."

"Finn."

"No."

They ended up getting in a little bit of a fight, Puck pinning the bigger jock and pounding on his back until Finn made some sort of gay joke that ended with them both laughing and needing to get water. They ended up back on the couch, with no clear winner (by that, Puck meant he had won).

"I like Kurt."

"I know," Finn said with a smirk. "Issue number one, stop fucking everything that moves. Including my girlfriends. Not cool."

"Sorry."

"Issue number two, stop trying to get my brother in bed. That makes you Blaine 2.0."

"Don't compare me to that asshole."

"Dude, you have been a _way_ worse asshole than that." Finn had this excellent habit of putting things in perspective. An annoying perspective, but still.

"Fair."

"Issue number three-"

"How long is this damn list?"

"I'm just getting started."

By the time Finn had finished listing off the twenty three issues that he had found between Kurt and Puck, Puck had a pretty good plan. He just hoped princess wasn't too stubborn to hear him out. The first day would be the worst. Game on.

* * *

><p>The New Directions didn't really need sheet music, Kurt tried to tell himself as he, Mercedes, Tina, and Quinn walked into Between the Sheets. What they really needed, as evidenced by their last day in New York, was licensing agreements, and Kurt had no power over that. However, he <em>had<em> gotten a good look at the licensing agreements they did have, and would it be so bad to have some more sheet music in their limited official wheelhouse. Just in case?

This was called rationalization, and it was morally wrong, according to the endless religion classes he had attended at Dalton. Oh well. He was proud, and only a hint sad, that thinking about going to religion class with Blaine and laughing at the over-zealously Catholic teaching there didn't hurt anymore. It was almost nice.

"Boy, get out of your own head and help me choose some Whitney!" Mercedes demanded, dragging him off to a particular section. Between the Sheets was possibly the best store in Columbus for sheet music, but since this was Ohio, it wasn't entirely surprising that it wasn't usually very full. However, today they were not alone at the Whitney section.

"That's a great jacket. Very pre-death McQueen." Kurt assumed the mildly-fashionable boy across from them was talking about the style rather than the actual label, because the jacket was so far from McQueen it wasn't even funny.

"Thank you," Kurt said absentmindedly, pulling out a copy of _Greatest Love of All_. He put it back, not in the mood for self-empowerment (that's what shopping was for), and pulled out _It's Not Right, But It's Okay_, debating. Puck hadn't really cheated on him- He wasn't supposed to be thinking about Puck. Drat.

"Whitney Houston?" the boy across from them asked, only when Kurt looked up, he had moved to the other side of the section, standing next to Kurt with a smile. He had blond hair under a knit cap, blue eyes hidden behind big hipster glasses that he probably didn't need, and his outfit was... all right, Kurt supposed. All blue-and-white, not a very imaginative outfit, but still more fashionable than anyone in Ohio except for the New Directions girls (with the exception of Rachel) and Kurt himself.

"_Evita_?" Kurt asked instead of replying, glancing at the sheet music for _Buenos Aires_ in the boy's hands.

"I absolutely love Broadway!" he said excitedly. "I was looking for _Rainbow High_, but they don't seem to have it and I can't find the full score anywhere. Enough to drive anyone crazy, right?" Kurt had the urge to take a step back. There was more energy flying off this guy than there was off of Rachel during one of her diva fits. It was ridiculous. "Why Whitney Houston? I mean, obviously I can understand, because she's an amazing talent, but... I guess I'm asking what you're here for, which is better than asking if you come here often, right?" Oh dear God.

"Just restocking my show choir's archives with my friends." Kurt reached out to take Mercedes' arm and somehow leave this conversation, but she was gone. A quick glance revealed that she was on the other side of the store. Damn her. "Well, I was."

"I absolutely _love_ show choir," the boy continued and then stopped suddenly. "Oh, gosh, I'm _so_ sorry. I'm being so rude, I haven't even introduced myself." The boy stuck out a hand. "Chandler Kiehl, Broadway, show choir, and fashion fanatic, future New York City dweller, student of the Arts and College Preparatory Academy here in Columbus, and certified nut job." Chandler smiled brightly. "Not really." Kurt shook his hand, thinking it over.

Chandler was obviously hitting on him. He was looking for anything to talk about, staring at him deeply, trying to establish physical contact... it was like he had spent a day at the Barney Stinson School of Seduction. Not that it was working, but still. Chandler had only spent the day.

He wasn't bad-looking. He was undeniably cute, and seemed rather nice, if a bit... enthusiastic. They seemed to have a lot in common. It's not like he would make Puck jealous- He needed to stop. Again. He should not be thinking about the cute boy who was hitting on him in terms of whether or not he would make an ex jealous. If he really wanted to upset... you-know-who, he would start hanging out with Blaine again.

"It's nice to meet you," Kurt said finally, aware he had been silent for way too long. Also, this was a rather long hand shake. "Kurt Hummel, lover of all those things, also New York City-bound, student of William McKinley High School in Lima, and firm believer that you're not crazy." Chandler laughed, shaking his hand a few more times before releasing it.

"Sorry, I just get a little bit energetic," Chandler said with a laugh, "besides, I bet ninety nine percent of the guys you've met turn into total idiots around you, so this must not be that uncommon an occurrence. I mean, you're gorgeous." Chandler shrugged, like it was a simple fact, and Kurt knew he was blushing. "If you're single it's a miracle, and if you would be willing to give me your number, it would be the second... crap, what's that big important miracle? The one that everyone always talks about with the transcending, and... whatever. The point is-"

"I'll give you my number," Kurt said, mentally hoping that Chandler didn't text the way he talked, in dramatic speeches.

"And you promise you're single?" Chandler said with a laugh. "I mean, morally, I would have to object if you weren't, not that I would want to, but some things just make you seem like a complete asshole, and of course now I probably sound like a complete asshole for saying that, but-"

"I'm single," Kurt said, cutting off the ridiculously talkative-boy again.

"Really?" Kurt nodded. "Wow. Some guys are just idiots... or straight, but sometimes I wonder if those two words are synonymous, if you catch my drift. I mean..." Chandler continued to talk for about three minutes on the topic of all the idiotic things he had heard from straight boys, and when Mercedes finally walked over to them and dragged him out of the conversation, barely giving Chandler time to say, "Goodbye, Kurt," it felt like a blessing.

"Really?" Mercedes demanded as she plopped him down by the R&B section, looking through some Rihanna. "Him?"

"What's wrong with Chandler?"

"Dear God, he won't shut up!" Quinn said, making them all laugh. Kurt looked over to make sure Chandler hadn't heard that, but he seemed to have left the store.

"I'm sorry, but the boy's got a serious case of word vomit," Mercedes said with a laugh.

"He's nice," Kurt insisted. He really was. Very complimentary. "And cute," he added.

"Kind of, but you've got something _much_-" Mercedes elbowed Quinn.

"Quinn, lay off with the Puck stuff, all right. White boy's got some thinking to do, and if he decides he likes chatter-mouth better than the bad boy, amen to that!" Mercedes exclaimed, raising her hands to the ceiling.

"Sometimes I really hate you all."

* * *

><p>Kurt was always the first one awake in the mornings. Only on the mornings following a bad day or a sleepless night was Carole downstairs before him, and that didn't mean she had woken up before him. It just meant he hadn't wanted to get out of bed, and she had a great motherly instinct for those mornings, bringing him coffee and a hug.<p>

This was not one of those mornings, so Kurt was wide awake at five thirty, second cup of coffee in hand and in the middle of making breakfast for him and Carole, who would be down soon to eat with him. That was the normal routine, so the abnormality of the doorbell ringing almost made Kurt drop his coffee. He was used to the mornings being so quiet, with nothing else but the sounds of cooking and voices gently floating from the kitchen radio (Céline this morning), that the noise was particularly jarring because it was unexpected. Kurt plopped the eggs on a plate, glad they had been finishing up, and placed down his cup of coffee. On an afterthought, he arranged his hair as best he could with no product in the mirror, and pulled his robe a little tighter. Boy, was he glad he did.

Puck was standing at the door, looking groggy, with dark circles underneath his eyes and stubble on his face. He was dressed casually, in ratty jeans and a t-shirt, but those weren't the things Kurt noticed. His eyes were too busy looking at the half a dozen roses Puck was holding, half white and half yellow. Apology and innocence.

"Morning," Puck yawned more than said, and Kurt tried his best not to find it cute.

"What are you doing here?" Kurt asked. Puck held out the roses, but he didn't take them. "What are those?"

"They're roses, princess." Kurt was unimpressed. Truly, deeply, unimpressed.

"Why are you here?" Kurt wanted to ask why he was there so early, but that seemed unimportant. Ironically, that was the question he got the answer to.

"I wanted to get you alone. No parents, no friends, no Finn."

"I'm here." He was still unimpressed. "And please tell me this isn't the ridiculous five real roses, one fake rose, 'I'll love you till the last rose dies' thing. I would never speak to you again."

"No way, princess. No one's talking about love here. I wanted to apologize," Puck said, holding out the roses again.

"And proclaim your innocence?" Kurt asked with a raised eyebrow, and Puck looked confused.

"What?"

"White roses. White is innocence or purity. Either you're lying to me or mocking me, and I appreciate neither."

"Humility."

"Excuse me?" Kurt asked.

"The web site I was on said they meant humility, and a new beginning."

"I've never known you to be humble." Kurt ignored that last part.

"It's the thought that counts?" Kurt stepped back to shut the door on him, and Puck bravely stuck his hand there. Kurt debated for a moment about crushing it before re-opening the door.

"Why are you here?"

"You asked me a lot of questions in the hotel, and you didn't give me the chance to answer all of them."

"You said all you needed to say."

"How would you know?" He had a point.

"You said all I needed to hear."

"Look, you're right," Puck said, and Kurt tried to shut the door again. This time Puck wisely stuck his foot between the door and its frame. "I still think love is for saps, and commitment is an out-dated concept. I still want to look at girls, and talking about feelings is still stupid. But I'm here, and I'm trying," Puck said, holding out his arms. "And I'm not going to leave until you at least take the damn roses." Puck held out the bouquet once more, and this time Kurt accepted it. Yellow for apology, white apparently for humility and a new beginning, and six roses for a desire to be loved or cherished.

"Have a good morning, Puck." Kurt closed the door behind him.

* * *

><p>"Summer vacation's barely started and I'm already bored," Mercedes admitted with a groan. It was mid-June and it was starting to get hot in Ohio. There were fans all over the Hudson-Hummel house, and the New Directions seemed to be using it as mission control. The person who was over there the least, oddly enough, was Puck, and he was there daily. Not that Kurt saw him, but the roses were there. The damn roses were always there. Every morning there were roses (Kurt was ignoring how much the stunt must be costing Puck), each day a different arrangement. White, pink ("admiration," according to the card Puck had left), yellow, lavender (enchantment. Kurt had needed to Google that one, there had been no note), and blue ("the unattainable, which seems most fitting," Puck had joked), in various combinations and numbers; one rose for devotion, six for the need to be loved, or thirteen for a secret admirer (not that the sender of the roses was a secret to anyone). There were roses all over Kurt's house: in the kitchen, the living room, his bedroom... he was pretty sure some had even ended up in Finn's room. It was getting ridiculous, and he knew exactly how to make Puck stop. All he had to do, according to another note Puck had left, was 'properly accept' the roses. Whatever that meant.<p>

"Kurt?" Tina's voice called him out of his musings as he stared at a single blue rose that had been left that morning.

"Where's your head, white boy?" Mercedes demanded.

"Off in the clouds," Kurt said with a laugh, brushing the incident off.

"How are things with Chandler?" Rachel asked eagerly. She had been the most excited by far to hear that Kurt was talking to someone.

"Good. We've been texting back and forth a lot, and we talk some nights." Chandler seemed great. Genuinely enjoyable, even if he needed to tone it down about seven notches, incredibly sweet, funny, and smart. He would make the world's perfect best friend, but he seemed to want more than that, by the way he was flirting. His pick-up lines were ridiculous and flattering all at the same time.

"Excellent," Rachel said with satisfaction before starting on her barrage of stories about Finn. Ever since they had gotten back together, both of them had been insufferably in love with one another, and Rachel's diatribe resulted in their little group disbanding. Kurt pulled Quinn aside before she could go.

"How do I properly accept the roses?" Quinn had to know. She was obvious the 'web site' behind this whole scheme.

She had the gall to look bewildered. "What?"

"How do I stop this?" he asked pointing around. "It's maddening, he's here every day!"

"I don't... I didn't come up with this, Kurt," Quinn said, and he was inclined to believe her by her eyes. "I was actually going to ask... these are all from _Puck_?" she asked kind of incredulously.

"Every single rose you've seen in this house is from Puck. It's _ridiculous_." She looked both surprised and proud.

"I would love to help, Kurt, but I legitimately don't know. Whatever this is, he didn't ask me for help with it." Great. There went his last hope of getting rid of the endless parade of roses. "I would just ask him, if I were you."

"He leaves them on my doorstep. He hasn't rung the bell since the first time he left them." Quinn pursed her lips, thinking it through.

"There's no way he leaves them there the night before, they would be stolen or vandalized. Just wake up a little bit earlier and try to catch him in the act." She obviously had no idea how early he normally got up.

* * *

><p>He heard a groan from Finn's room when his alarm went off at four fifteen. Their rooms shared a common wall, which meant they didn't have much privacy (and Kurt had heard far too much of Finn's... alone time, but that was beside the point). Every time Kurt had to use his alarm clock, Finn was cranky that morning. He knew this would be no exception.<p>

By four twenty he was downstairs, looking out the window as subtly as possible, waiting for Puck's junk heap to show up. Sure enough, at almost exactly four thirty, the truck (it felt like an insult to all other trucks to call it that) pulled up in his driveway and Puck came out, roses in hand.

Kurt ran to the door and waited until he heard Puck trip over the trick step before opening the door. "Good morning," he said casually as Puck's head whipped up in surprise and he tripped over the remaining stair, falling on his butt.

"What the fuck, Hummel?" Puck asked as he picked himself off the ground, the roses in his hand undamaged. There seemed to be a lot of them.

"New color... and new number too, if I'm correct. Is there a note?" Puck pulled one out of his pocket with a shrug.

"Did you try to beat me here?"

"How do I make them stop?" Kurt asked.

"Pardon?"

"The roses. Do you know how many roses there are in my house right now? A ridiculous number!" Puck didn't seem awake enough to react, just shrugging and yawning.

"How about these?" Puck asked, handing him two slips out of his pocket.

"_The Music Man_?" Kurt asked with a raised eyebrow. "At the Little Theatre Off Broadway." That was all the way across Columbus from Blaine's house. He wasn't thinking about that. "You hate musicals."

"You like them," Puck said simply.

"I'm guessing the second one isn't for you, then," Kurt asked, trying to tell what Puck was doing but failing. Whoever was telling him what to do certainly had some good ideas.

"It could be," Puck replied, still only mildly-lucid. "It could be for that Chandler guy, if you want."

"So you heard about him." Puck snorted.

"It would be hard not to. Aretha's thrilled." Kurt glared at his ex. He didn't appreciate that nickname, even if Mercedes didn't really mind it.

"Why are you doing this?" Kurt asked, almost entirely certain of the answer.

"I told you, princess," Puck said tiredly, though that could just be the time of the morning. "I'm trying."

"And who's helping you?" Puck raised an eyebrow. "Puck, you've serenaded quite a few women, but you aren't romantic. This has to be someone else's idea."

"You really think I'm an idiot, don't you?" Kurt didn't answer. "The roses I'll admit I got help with. The play's all me." That was mildly believable.

"Rachel's the ultimate authority on roses..." She had acted so excited about Chandler. "I'm going to kill that girl. She's interfered with my love life quite enough." Kurt looked down at the tickets, the wheels in his head spinning. This was very sweet, but also very disoriented. "So, you're telling me that if I, theoretically, brought you to this show with me, you wouldn't complain at all?" He hadn't technically said that, but...

"I wouldn't complain," Puck said, but it sounded like he was hedging. "I might mock a little, but some musicals just deserve it." He had a point. Kurt looked down at the tickets again.

"When is it?"

"Friday." Sadly, it took Kurt a few moments to remember what day it was that morning. Tuesday, maybe... or Wednesday... "It's Tuesday, princess," Puck added with a smirk, but the humor wiped right off his face at Kurt's glare.

"And if I accept these tickets, the roses stop?" Kurt asked him, and Puck nodded. "Fine. Thank you."

"You have to take these though." Puck held out the bouquet that he had been holding for the entire conversation. Two quick counts confirmed that there were fifteen roses, and Kurt wasn't sure exactly what color they were. A dark red, with almost a purple tint. Nothing he had seen before, certainly.

"What do they mean?" Kurt asked, knowing every bouquet Puck had sent him meant something.

"Fifteen is for apologizing."

"And the color?"

"Burgundy." Kurt raised an eyebrow. What was Puck skating around? "They mean..." Puck mumbled something he didn't quite catch.

"Pardon?" Puck glared at him.

"They mean unconscious beauty," Puck presumably repeated, a little more audibly. Kurt blushed at that, because... well, that was about the last thing he expected.

"Oh. Um. Thank you." That won for most awkward encounter between him and Puck yet, Kurt thought as he closed the door. At least the roses would stop.

* * *

><p>"Can I ask you a question?"<p>

"If I said 'no,' would you anyway?" Quinn asked in reply, bringing a bowl of popcorn over to sit next to Puck on the couch. The nice thing about summer vacation was that Quinn's mom was too busy to watch over her every mood, and Quinn had more of an excuse to be out for long periods of time. Thus, Quinn could actually spend time with Puck.

"Why are girls such prudes?" Puck asked instead of answering. Quinn knew what he would say.

"Does this have something to do with the fact that you've been leaving Kurt roses?"

"You heard about that, huh?" Puck was fighting a smile. He had princess talking about him again, and there was nothing bad one could say about someone bringing them roses.

"I _saw_ them, Puck, you must have given him dozens." Puck shrugged. He had stopped counting a while ago. Paying for the roses had somewhat cut the profits on his pool-cleaning business (strictly cleaning, now, but they still appreciated it), but it had been worth it.

"Well, don't worry, Quinn, I'm not sending him roses anymore." Puck resisted the urge to explain at Quinn's surprised and concerned expression, waiting for her to ask.

"Why not?"

"I have a feeling he's taking me to a musical on Friday," Puck replied, and he couldn't fight off the smile this time. Usually, he only got this kind of rush out of tricking girls, but he wasn't tricking Kurt. He was just trying to _convince_ Kurt.

"He has a boyfriend," Quinn said with a frown.

"He's officially dating that Chandler guy?" Hadn't sounded like it.

"Well... I guess it's not 'official,' but it might as well be." Puck snorted. Girls always wanted to jump the gun on the whole dating thing. Quinn didn't have a reply to that.

"You still haven't answered my question."

"Your definition of a prude is a little more stringent than most, Noah." Quinn rarely called him that, since she respected the concept of being called what she wanted, rather than her proper name. It was... unusual, but Puck decided not to worry about it.

"Still not an answer."

"You do realize Kurt and Blaine had a physical relationship, right?" Puck made a face. He didn't want to think about that, just not for the normal reason. "Quite a considerable one by the sound of things."

"_Still_ not an answer."

"Kurt's not going to jump directly into a physical relationship with anyone," Quinn said firmly. "Especially because sex seems to be the source of all his relationship problems. Between you and Blaine, it's surprising that he isn't traumatized by now." Puck knew that was Quinn's subtly-disapproving tone.

"You're bad at answering."

"I knew what you were really asking, Puck," Quinn said coldly. "Kurt's not a prude, he just has some self respect. Something that you might want to work on."

"What the fuck does that mean?" Puck asked, a little annoyed Quinn was going all 'holier-than-thou' on him. It wasn't like she was the epitome of self-respect. If she had been, they wouldn't be having this conversation.

"The _list_, Noah. Really? You have to copy all the creepy perverts on the planet and have a legitimate list?" How the hell had she known about that? Oh, crap...

"I'm gonna kill Finnessa when I get my hands on him."

"I thought you wanted to get your hands on his brother. One at a time." Puck cracked up. Everyone once in a while Quinn would lose her frigid Cheerio routine and say something made her sound like an actual human being. It was kind of awesome.

"The list doesn't matter." It wasn't like he had been updating it anyway.

"Maybe it doesn't matter to you. I bet Kurt thinks it's disgusting. Yes, he knows about it too." Oh, fuck.

"Frankenteen's dead."

"This isn't Finn's fault. Kurt was just asking the one person he thought could help him understand you. Maybe if you talked to him yourself, he wouldn't have to find out everything from Finn." Puck had no rebuttal to that except some more threats for Finn, but he knew those wouldn't go over well.

"Whatever. If princess wants to know about the list, all he has to do is ask."

"You know absolutely nothing," Quinn said with a sigh.

* * *

><p>"Who do you think's Puck's new girl?" Artie asked Sam when they were hanging out, playing Halo and waiting for Finn to get home. Kurt couldn't pretend that he didn't hear that, as much as he wanted to. Of course Puck wasn't serious about him. What had he been thinking?<p>

"Puck has a new girl?" Sam asked.

"Dude, have you not seen Finn and Puck buying and looking up all that shit? Musical tickets, sheet music, CDs, romantic movies, chocolates, parks, champagne, fashion magazines, places that sell tiramisu, restaurant reservations, roses... those are like Puck's seduction staples. I wonder who the girl is that's making Puck go to all this trouble. The last girls he did this for were Quinn and Lauren, and I doubt there's another Glee girl he's interested in." Kurt couldn't believe that _Finn_ had been the brains behind the whole roses thing. It was sweet, if a bit... insistent.

"Rachel, Mercedes, and Tina are all taken, Santana and Brittany aren't the serious-relationship, wooed-by-boys type... that just leaves Quinn."

"Finn helping Puck get Quinn? No way." Kurt didn't believe that either."Plus, there was one more thing that I thought was kind of weird."

"What?" Yes, Artie, share.

"Cars. They were looking up all sorts of car and engine stuff." _No_.

"Maybe Puck's finally fixing up his truck." They both got a good laugh out of that, and Kurt tried his hardest not to laugh along with them.

"Dude, maybe..." Artie lowered his voice, but Kurt could still hear him. The open floor plan was both a blessing and a curse. "Maybe it's not a girl." He felt both of their gazes on him, but pretended to remain oblivious, focusing a little more on his chopping so he didn't lose a finger.

"Maybe," Sam muttered in reply. "Maybe he really has run out of women." Obviously Mercedes had shared that joke with him at some point. It was nice that his girl had someone who made her so happy that she was sharing their inside jokes with him. Kurt had a feeling Sam was going to be around for a while.

Kurt would have loved to continue eavesdropping, but his phone ringing seemed to remind Sam and Artie of how close he was, and they stopped talking, going back to their game. "Hello?" he answered without looking at his caller ID.

"Hey, sexy, I've got a question for you!" Chandler didn't even give him the chance to acknowledge his request before continuing. "What are you doing this Friday?" There was no pause before he continued. "Because I was thinking we could hit Columbus and have a crazy fun time shopping together. I mean, couple's shopping is always fun, but I have a feeling you'll definitely give better input than anyone else I've ever dated, and I'd love to watch you try on tight pants all day!" 'Couple's shopping?'

"I..." Hesitation was a mistake.

"I mean, I totally understand if you're busy. I was totally thinking that if we didn't go shopping, I would go to this great play my school is holding. Maybe you would rather go to that? We could go to karaoke before, have some dinner, you could meet some of my friends, they're thrilled to meet my new beau, since I talk about you so much, and we could go see the show together. It's supposed to be really good, I only didn't get a part because-"

"I'm busy on Friday!" Kurt cut off Chandler before he could get into some sort of in-depth, one-sided conversation about plays and auditions, and... he really never stopped talking, did he? "I have... a thing."

"What kind of thing? Because we could totally work around the timing of whatever it is you're doing. I mean, the play has a late show, like _midnight_ late, or we could always go shopping during the day, though night shopping is so much more fun and a little more romantic. I mean, if you're really cramped for time, we could just go get coffee or something-" That was the final straw.

"Actually, I'm going to be out of state all day," Kurt lied. He didn't even feel bad about it. Chandler was great for short periods of time, but spending the day with him would be absolute agony. Not that he seemed to mind when people cut him off, but Kurt didn't want to have to deal with him for hours. Especially since he seemed convinced that they were dating.

"Maybe another time then. I mean, we have all summer. Summer love and all that. _Oh_, we should totally sing that song from _Grease_. I mean, with two people as talented as us, we would absolutely blow that song away and it would be super fun to sing that kind of summer song. Maybe we should go out for karaoke-"

"Chandler, I have to go," Kurt interrupted for the third time. "My brother's home." That was _not_ a lie. Finn had walked in the door about halfway through the conversation. That wasn't, however, a legitimate reason for Kurt to hang up the phone. However, he did _have_ a reason, considering Chandler had just used the term 'summer love' to describe something that wasn't even a relationship yet... and probably wouldn't be ever, at this point.

"All right, bye, sweetheart, we'll talk soon." Thankfully, that was all Chandler said, and Kurt hung up on him before he could think of anything else.

"So, why exactly are you going to be out of the state all day on Friday?" Finn asked from the entrance to the kitchen, Artie and Sam chuckling on the couch behind him.

"Shut up."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So, how did you guys like the first of the summer chapters? Okay, or Puck being too pushy again? Let me know :) Also, I know Chandler is an annoying presence, but he goes away quickly and he has a purpose.**

**Songs mentioned:  
><strong>'_Greatest Love of All_' by Whitney Houston  
>'<em>It's Not Right, But It's OK<em>' by Whitney Houston  
>'<em>Buenos Aires<em>' from _Evita  
><em>'_Rainbow High_' from _Evita_

**Review are Love.**


	25. Planet Rose

Kurt hadn't given him an answer, but that really wasn't all that surprising. Kurt was still angry and upset and probably pretty annoyed with him. Since Quinn obviously couldn't keep her trap shut and he hadn't included her in this plan, he really had no way of knowing. It was a fifty-fifty shot. Either he had given himself a romantic evening with Kurt, or he had planned the perfect date for Kurt and that annoying Chandler guy.

Puck was sweating balls. Which was a gross expression, but an accurate one. He felt like he needed one of those gay, striped, colored workout bands, because sweat was dripping from his forehead into his eyes.

He didn't know exactly why he was so afraid of Mr. Hummel. The man was old and usually pretty nice. Something about that stare he sometimes gave Puck though... that man could do him some serious damage if he chose to. Hadn't he been a marine or something? Kurt might have mentioned that once.

Kurt should be the focus of his thoughts, he decided as he pushed open the door he had been staring at for the last fifteen minutes. Kurt was the reason he was potentially dying this afternoon.

Finn could actually be pretty smart about people. Puck had known this for a long time, but it was still annoying that Finn knew Kurt better than Puck did. Still, he was willing to help, which was pretty cool of him. Especially since Puck kind of needed it.

Mr. Hummel was in the back, talking to a few large, equally-terrifying mechanics. Awesome. Just what he needed for his nerves. "Mr. Hummel," he called out, half-hoping the man wouldn't hear him and he would have an excuse to leave. Unfortunately, Kurt's father had the hearing of a bat. Something to remember, definitely.

"Puckerman." At least he sounded surprised, and not angry. "What are you doing here?"

"My ma decided she doesn't exactly approve of my pool-cleaning business." Burt's eyes narrowed. So he _did_ know what that meant. Fuck. "I know a little bit about cars," thanks to Google, "and I was wondering if you needed any help around here this summer."

"Kurt doesn't work around here much anymore, so we could use the help." That was a pointed comment, Puck knew, but he also knew that Kurt loved spending time with his father, and that he would do anything to get closer to him. Including spend his summer days at the garage. Puck would definitely be seeing Kurt here, he just knew it.

"Great, sir."

"You might need a little bit of teaching, but I think you'll do all right." For some reason, it _really_ didn't sound like Burt was talking about his potential job anymore. "We'll start you out a little above minimum wage, and the more you learn, the more you earn. Seem fair?" It wasn't really a question, but that _did_ sound really fair. And, thankfully, they weren't talking about Kurt anymore.

"Sounds great, Mr. Hummel." Burt gave him a look from head-to-toe.

"Call me Burt," he said as if it was a big decision. "You're an employee now, after all."

* * *

><p>Kurt had been staring at three items on his desk for about an hour. Thankfully, Puck had followed through on his promise, and the roses had stopped. Kurt had thrown most of them out (a lot of them were wilting), but he had given in and kept the last bouquet in water, making sure to cut the stems diagonally and give them fresh water every day. They had lasted quite well.<p>

The roses were object number one. The tickets Puck had given him in exchange for stopping the roses were object number two (technically, there were two of them, but that didn't really matter. There were fifteen roses, but they didn't count individually either).

Item number three was his phone. He had two options... well, three really. He _could_ just not go to The Music Man all together, but who wastes musical tickets? So, his two real options were: calling Chandler, or calling Puck. He technically _could_ invite anyone he pleased, but Kurt had looked at the card that came with the last roses. There were dinner reservations at a _nice_ restaurant, and pre-ordered champagne, and no, this was definitely a date Puck had planned. A wonderful, _romantic_ date.

It was Thursday. Kurt didn't really have any more time to decide. He knew Chandler would drop everything for a chance to go on a first date (he cringed a little at the thought), and he knew Puck had planned this whole thing, so he was obviously free. No matter who he called, he was going to get a 'yes.' This was not necessarily a good thing.

Kurt picked up his phone, took several deep breaths, and made the call.

"_Hey baby!_" Chandler said brightly, picking up on the first ring. "Changed your mind about shopping, or karaoke, or the play, or anything really? Because I was thinking-"

"The plans I had for Friday got canceled actually," Kurt said, and he didn't feel any guilt for lying, "and a friend of mine," _that_ he felt strangely guilty about, "gave me two tickets to The Music Man in Columbus. I was wondering if you wanted to come with."

"_Absolutely_!" Chandler answered with no hesitation. "_We could get dinner before, and maybe go out for some non-alcoholic drinks after. Or alcoholic ones, if that's what you're into. I can't say I've never had a drink-_"

"Actually, my friend kind of planned out a whole night for him and his girlfriend," okay, _that_ was just cold, "and since they had to cancel, I was thinking we could just go along with their plan."

"_Sounds great. Where are we headed? I know the greatest restaurant-_"

"I already have the reservation." Kurt was getting more and more used to interrupting Chandler. It wasn't that the boy couldn't shut up, he just always had something to say, and he was very enthusiastic.

"_Great_." Chandler sounded surprised, but happy. "_So, I have to go, because I'm taking a summer class through my school, but I'll see you tomorrow?_"

"Absolutely." That may have been the first time that Chandler had asked a question and waited for it to be answered. Progress.

"_Bye, babe_!"

"Bye." Chandler really needed to stop with the pet names.

* * *

><p>Okay, maybe the whole musical thing really hadn't been his best idea. It was Friday afternoon, about ten minutes before someone would theoretically have to leave to make the reservation Puck had planned for Kurt and guest (who was <em>really<em> supposed to be him), and he hadn't heard anything from Kurt. Which could only mean one thing. He was going with Chandler.

Thankfully, Finn had planned for this (it was amazing what Finn could do when he put his mind to it), and Chandler was about to get the two worst cock-blocks on the planet crashing his first date with a guy who was _so_ out of his league (Puck assumed. He hadn't actually met this Chandler guy, but Kurt was out of everyone's league except his. There was no way Kurt had found someone as sexy as him).

So while Kurt's second-choice was enjoying the expensive restaurant (thankfully, Chandler, if he was any sort of guy for Kurt, would end up having to pay that), expensive champagne Puck had pre-bought, and the surprise delivery of roses and chocolate the doorman was going to give Kurt on the way out (he had really gone all-out), Puck could put another phase of the twenty-three pronged plan into action.

Okay, so the plan didn't really have twenty-three prongs. Puck wasn't _that_ crazy. That was the number Finn liked to use, because that was the number of issues he had found between Kurt and Puck, but realistically, Puck couldn't fix all of those problems anytime soon. Who really cared about the number of prongs anyway?

This was another one of those prongs that could get Puck killed, but the thought that kept him going was that Kurt was headed out on a date with someone else. The two people he would normally call were also on the way, but that was completely beside the point.

He had this number from over a year ago, when he tried to date her. This probably wouldn't go well, considering she was still in his phone as 'Aretha.' Kurt hated that, but she didn't mind so much. "_Who the hell is this_?" Mercedes snapped into the phone as soon as she picked it up, and she clearly hadn't saved his number. Awesome.

"Hey, Mercedes." See, he did know her name!

"_What do you want, Puck? I'm not helping you get my boy. That was a one-time thing._" Crap, he needed a new way to sell this.

"This isn't about Kurt. Quinn asked me to call you," note: tell Quinn about this later... somehow, "because she and Rachel thought it would be fun if the Glee club went out for karaoke, and she was wondering if you knew anywhere good to go."

"_So why didn't white girl just call me herself_?"

"She's driving right now. She and Rachel are doing something." Whew. Crisis averted.

"_Whatever. I can't believe Rachel didn't know a good karaoke joint, but I know one_."

"Where? And I think Rachel prefers karaoke machines. She likes hearing her own voice more than anyone else's," Puck added, making Mercedes laugh.

"_True. And there's a little karaoke bar about two streets down from BreadstiX called Planet Rose. There's no stage, but it's really fun with a lot of people_."

"Sounds good. I'll let Quinn know." Jackpot.

"_Whatever_." Click.

Now he just had to get everyone else on board, and he would, of course, ask Kurt himself. Rachel and Quinn would probably be the best sellers for the rest of the club, so he would have to wait until tomorrow. Maybe Finn wanted to play Halo... though it wouldn't be the same without Kurt kicking both of their asses.

* * *

><p>"This is nice," Kurt said as Chandler pulled out his chair for him. Puck had chosen an absolutely lovely restaurant for his first date with Chandler, and Kurt was absolutely determined not to let the planner of the evening dominate his thoughts for the rest of the night.<p>

"It really is," Chandler added as he sat down for himself. "You'll have to thank you friend for planning out a great date, and of course, rub it into your friend's girlfriend's face that we're here instead of them. If you don't like her, that is. If you do like her, you should tell her how sweet and romantic her boyfriend can be." Chandler was _not_ helping with his goal. He really wasn't. And the car ride there had been an endless stream of words from his companion.

"I'd rather not talk about them," Kurt said, a little coldly, and thankfully, Chandler picked up on it.

"Would you rather talk about us?"

"I didn't really know there _was_ an us, Chandler," Kurt answered before Chandler could get into one of his endless speeches again. The boy spoke in monologues.

Chandler seemed a little speechless. It was nice. "I... Maybe there isn't _now_, but I kind of assumed. I mean, you're single and I'm single and you're _gorgeous_, and I kind of thought you liked me. I mean, you _were_ flirting with me, I think, and-" It was a little sweet, and kind of vulnerable, but still very obnoxious.

"Maybe we should just enjoy our date." And that speech is exactly why Kurt had packed Advil for his date. He quickly swallowed two of them with a sip of the champagne Puck had pre-ordered for them. Technically, it wasn't a good idea to take medicine with alcohol, but Kurt was beyond caring. Chandler had the habit of being very headache-inducing.

"I agree," Chandler said as the waitress came over and took their drink orders. "I mean, exactly how many lavish, pre-planned dates do you get the chance to go on in a lifetime?" Okay, Chandler _really_ was not helping.

"Not very many." Unless, of course, one happens to be the focus of Puck's endless, insistent attentions.

"Exactly," Chandler said triumphantly. "So, I was thinking after the show-"

Kurt wasn't the one who cut Chandler off. He didn't need to. Everything Chandler could possibly be thinking was about to be cut off, and Kurt wasn't entirely sure if he was grateful or not. "Kurt!" Rachel said, waving at him as she walked into the restaurant with Quinn. Dressed up and walking close together, they almost looked like a couple, and people were giving them the same odd looks they had been giving Kurt and Chandler. "Waitress, seat us with them," she demanded of Kurt and Chandler's poor waitress. In a matter of seconds, an extra table, a table cloth, some candles, two menus, and two extra chairs had been added to Kurt and Chandler's date, and Quinn and Rachel were definitely crashing it.

"Kurt, I didn't know you were coming to this." Quinn didn't sound happy, or even particularly surprised. She sounded suspicious.

"Well, if there's Broadway in town, the two of us will inevitably be there," Rachel said cheerily, waving around and clinking her glass with Chandler's stationary one. Chandler, for once, looked rather un-enthused. "And you must be Chandler," Rachel said, in the same tone every mother had at some point, being introduced to a friend of her child's. "Nice to meet a fellow proponent of the arts."

"Likewise," Chandler said, and he sounded downbeat. Oh well.

* * *

><p>Chandler may have had a point in the restaurant. Rachel and Quinn were a rather annoying presence, even though Kurt was a little grateful that they were there. He was a little <em>less<em> happy with the company once they had gotten into the champagne. Rachel was a needy drunk and Quinn was an angry drunk, but luckily it was Chandler who became the focus of both of their drunk rants. For Kurt, it was rather entertaining.

By the end of the play, Chandler had no other suggestions for what they might do after, since it was an unspoken rule that if Kurt was going anywhere, Rachel and Quinn were following. Rachel and Quinn were a little less tipsy, but still quite happy with their evening, and Kurt made absolutely sure Quinn was okay for driving before he let his two lovely ladies out of his sight. Chandler became more upbeat once they were gone, and he spent the whole ride home talking again. Oddly enough, Kurt was finding it less and less annoying.

"This was nice." Chandler had insisted on walking Kurt to his door, and he mirrored the first words Kurt had spoken on the date.

"Yeah," Kurt said, hedging a little bit. He had enjoyed spending time with Rachel and Quinn, and Chandler could be sweet when he toned it down a little bit.

"I mean... the cast wasn't the best, and the staging was... awful, but the choreography was _amazing_. I wonder who planned the dance routines, they should have adapted the sets as well..." This particular rant was a little different than the rest. It was softer and stilted and... nervous? Oh crap.

"It was good, overall," Kurt said shortly, and thankfully they had reached his doorstep.

"Your friends are... enthusiastic." Exactly how had Chandler ended up between Kurt and the doorknob?

"That's one word for them." And one for you, he was tempted to say.

"Are you sure you had fun? You seem laconic." Chandler sounded nervous again.

"No, I really did," Kurt said, and he tried to make his tone as genuine as possible because, well, he had.

"I'm glad. So, I'll see you again. Soon?" Dammit, he sounded so earnest.

"Yeah," Kurt hedged. "I'd like that." No more dates though. He would have to make that very clear. Hopefully over the phone.

One moment they were standing about two feet apart, Chandler very much preventing Kurt from leaving the uncomfortable conversation.

The next, Chandler had cupped Kurt's face in one hand, slid the other down to his waist, and was kissing him softly.

It was... nice, Kurt mused as Chandler kissed him. Chandler was definitely a good kisser. Sweet too, not pushing too far or moving his hands anywhere... suggestive. The crazy thought that flew through his head was that his father would approve, and he had to muster a lot of self-control not to start laughing. Okay, he was _definitely_ not involved in this kiss. When would it end?

Thankfully, Chandler did pull away after a while, blushing a little and smiling. Kurt tried to smile, but it probably didn't look very convincing. "Um, I should go. I'll see you later, babe." Crap, hadn't Kurt said something about pet names?

"Bye, Chandler," he said absentmindedly, but Chandler probably hadn't even heard him, he was walking down the path so quickly. Kurt didn't go inside, watching his date walk away, and he tried once again not to laugh when Chandler did a little happy dance by his car, not even bothering to look back and see if Kurt was still there. Okay, he was cute.

Kurt opened the front door as Chandler got into his car, and the last person he expected was standing waiting for him, arms crossed and looking very unimpressed.

"Seriously?" Finn asked. "That guy?"

"And what exactly, Finnegan, makes you think that I don't like him?" Finn hadn't been watching out the window, had he?

"Dude, I might have only seen a picture of you making out with Puck, but even in still-frame, you looked _way_ more into Puck." Finn was wrinkling his nose a little in discomfort, but Kurt ignored him. He had been watching. Creep.

"Well, rest assured, I like Chandler." Kurt tried to ignore how much that felt like a lie as he headed for the staircase.

"Yeah, right!" Finn called back.

"Then rest assured that I _don't_ like Puck."

"That one I believe," Finn muttered as Kurt continued walking up the stairs, and Kurt couldn't help but laugh.

* * *

><p>Puck couldn't remember what prong this was, so he decided to go with the number five as he mentally cursed Finn out for making him do this. Not only did he have no idea what he was doing, or really what his options were, but it made him feel like a girl. Well, not really. Men do the serenading. Women only turn to song if they're angry. Still.<p>

Planet Rose had a very broad song selection, and he had to make a very important choice for the little karaoke jaunt that 'Rachel' was planning. So, he was choosing a song from the listings Finn had grabbed for him yesterday. At least, that's what he _was_ doing, until a very hot blonde came into his bedroom and started yelling at him.

"And I would say I can't _believe_ you sabotaged his first date with a guy he likes but at this point this is _exactly_ what I expect from you since you seem to be so obsessed with Kurt that you won't stop until you have whatever it is you want from him! What is that anyway? Sex? A relationship? Love? Because honestly at this point I don't think you're getting _anything_ from him! He should _hate_ you right now!" Quinn had been going on like this for quite a while. She seemed very mad about Puck's preventative measures, but Puck didn't dare say anything. She was angry, and she was ranting, and he had better things to be thinking about.

"Got it," he muttered to himself. He had the perfect song, and Planet Rose had it.

Thankfully, Quinn hadn't noticed his minor interruption, and she continued until the English language had run out of appropriately demeaning words. Once she had stopped talking, she stopped there huffing with rage in a manor eerily reminiscent of Sue Sylvester.

"Are you going to Rachel's karaoke thing?" Puck asked casually, hoping he wasn't about to set her off again for being too 'cavalier' about everything. Thankfully, she looked confused rather than annoyed.

"What karaoke thing?" Perfect.

"Rachel's planning a karaoke thing for the club, since Glee doesn't really meet over the summer. She's having a little trouble getting the word out." Quinn smelled the set trap, now he just needed to sell it. "While I'm sure Rachel will be in the corner critiquing everyone's performances under her breath, I'm sure it'll be fun."

"You're going?" Quinn asked suspiciously.

"Princess is." At least, he assumed Kurt was. Quinn rolled her eyes.

"Fine. I'll go." Quinn pushed some of the hair that had escaped from her bun out of her eyes. "I need to freshen up," she said as she excused herself from Puck's room and headed for the bathroom in the hall. Perfect.

Puck wasted no time. "Rachel," he said as soon as she picked up the phone.

"_Hello, Puckerman. If you're still having trouble admitting to yourself that you're bisexual, my fathers will be more than happy to talk to you_-"

"I'm not gay, Rachel," he corrected her. "No, this isn't about me. I was thinking the Glee club should get together for karaoke."

"_That would be wonderful, Noah... why are you suggesting this_?" she asked suspiciously. Damn, everyone was getting smarter.

"I'm bored out of my mind, and unless I want to hang out with sweaty jocks that have balls and biceps for brains, I'm stuck with the Glee people." Rachel huffed.

"_Well, ignoring your questionable motives, I think it's a great idea_."

"Cool, 'cause I already got us a table at Planet Rose."

"_I'll invite everyone_!" Rachel announced before hanging up. And naturally, being Rachel, she would tell everyone it was her idea. He really was having fun.

* * *

><p>Somehow, between Rachel and Quinn, the word had managed to get out, and everyone agreed to meet up at Planet Rose on Monday night (it was awesome not to have the restriction of school nights). Finn made sure Kurt was going, and Chandler, sadly, couldn't make it. So, Kurt was without his quasi-boyfriend for the night, but Puck had no way of getting through his security set-up of women. So, he waited.<p>

"Hey, dude," Finn said, sitting next to him at the 'bar.' Apparently, this place didn't serve alcohol, so there was no reason for Puck to have brought his fake ID.

"'Sup?"

"Where's Kurt?" Finn seemed almost as invested in this as Puck was.

"Behind the wall of women," he replied, pointing to the other side of the bar, where Tina, Mercedes, Santana, and Kurt were sitting and chatting. Quinn was dancing with Brittany, Sam, and Artie, and Rachel was arguing with the manager about the karaoke machine.

"Dude, you gotta get him out of there somehow." Puck shook his head and snorted. Finn's thinking was so unoriginal.

"I don't have to find him." Finn looked at him quizzically. "He's gonna find me."

"Dude, what are you thinking?"

"I think I need to go talk to your girlfriend," Puck replied, hopping off his stool and heading out across the dance floor before Finn could ask any more stupid questions. But he was just a little bit too late.

"Hello, everyone," Rachel said into the microphone from a fairly deserted corner of the restaurant. "My name is Rachel Berry-"

"Hi, Rachel!" Everyone who didn't know her yelled in reply. Everyone who _did_ know her groaned, because they knew what was happening.

"Hello, and I'll be singing _Chasing Cars_ by Snow Patrol."

As Rachel started crooning out her thousandth love song directed towards Finn, couples began forming on the dance floor. Mercedes stepped away from Kurt's side and joined Sam on the dance floor, and Tina did the same with Mike. Brittany hopped into Artie's lap, and he spun them in a slow circle, the same way they had danced while they were dating. Santana looked pissed, the only person still protecting Kurt from... well, him. Quinn, who had already been on the dance floor, was turning down about a thousand creepy guys. Puck almost went over to her, but he was a little too late again. Finn had walked over and held out a hand, which she accepted with a little smile. That was on the mend, somehow.

One of the same guys who had asked Quinn to dance went over and asked Santana. She accepted with a very seductive smirk, and he led her out onto the dance floor. Kurt was all alone. Perfect... but not.

When had all these gay guys popped up in Lima? Puck wondered to himself as one of the only guys on the floor who hadn't asked Quinn to dance walked over to Kurt and clearly asked him. Kurt, with a little blush and a smile, accepted, allowing himself to be lead out onto the dance floor by some guy who Puck was willing to bet was an idiotic jock from Lima Vo-Tech. Somehow, Puck was the only person without someone to dance with. Awesome.

He could really use some alcohol right about now.

_We'll do it all  
><em>_Everything  
><em>_On our own_

_We don't need  
><em>_Anything  
><em>_Or anyone_

_If I lay here  
><em>_If I just lay here  
><em>_Would you lie with me  
><em>_And just forget the world?_

_I don't quite know  
><em>_How to say  
><em>_How I feel_

_Those three words  
><em>_Are said too much  
><em>_They're not enough_

_If I lay here  
><em>_If I just lay here  
><em>_Would you lie with me  
><em>_And just forget the world?_

_Forget what we're told  
><em>_Before we get too old  
><em>_Show me a garden that's  
><em>_Bursting into life_

_Let's waste time  
><em>_Chasing cars  
><em>_Around our heads_

_I need your grace  
><em>_To remind me  
><em>_To find my own_

_If I lay here  
><em>_If I just lay here  
><em>_Would you lie with me  
><em>_And just forget the world?_

_Forget what we're told  
><em>_Before we get too old  
><em>_Show me a garden that's  
><em>_Bursting into life_

_All that I am  
><em>_All that I ever was  
><em>_Is here in your perfect eyes  
><em>_They're all I can see_

_I don't know where  
><em>_Confused about how as well  
><em>_Just know that these things  
><em>_Will never change for us at all_

_If I lay here  
><em>_If I just lay here  
><em>_Would you lie with me  
><em>_And just forget the world?_

* * *

><p>By the time they had been at Planet Rose for an hour, Rachel was the only one who had sung anything, and Finn had spent a ridiculous amount of time lavishing praise on her. Rachel's power was in her belting, it really wasn't all that good.<p>

Kurt was too busy to be jealous though. Technically, he had a quasi-boyfriend, and as if Chandler wasn't enough, he also had an obnoxious _Puck_. He didn't really need a title, he was in a category of his own. However, he _had_ met someone at the karaoke bar, and he had really never thought this through. Karaoke bars were _awesome_ places to meet guys. It was like a giant, inter-school dance where Kurt got the chance to show off his talents. Really, where could be better?

Matthias was his name, but even before Kurt had heard the name, he could tell his new friend was Greek. He was about an inch taller than Puck, well built, with dark curly hair, dark eyes, and a very prominent nose, with a bump along the bridge. He was _very_ cute, with tanned skin, and Kurt was actually enjoying talking to him. Too bad he was only visiting family for a summer vacation.

"So, I admit to knowing very little about the geography of Greece, but where do you live?" Kurt asked. Matthias had asked about a billion questions about Kurt and life in the United States, but Kurt hadn't gotten the chance to ask any of his own.

"Piraeus," he replied. "It's a port city just a few miles from Athens. On the coast. Nice, urban, big."

"So, the opposite of Lima?"

"Pretty much," Matthias agreed with a laugh. "Same views of us too."

"Oh?"

"No marriage or adoption." Matthias shrugged. "I go to Athens Pride whenever I can though, and everything's under consideration."  
>"Sounds a little bit better."<p>

"Perhaps, but we can get married over here, no?"

"Are you asking?" Kurt teased, and thankfully, he laughed.

"Maybe not yet."

"In some places, yes. The wonderful and awful thing about this country, the thing that comes back to bite it time and time again on the ass, is the difference between state laws and federal laws, and thus the rights granted to each."

"I'm afraid you've lost me."

"In some states gay people can married, in some they can't. In some states gay people can adopt, a lot more than where they can get married actually, and in others they can't. It's complicated and awful."

"Sounds it, but this is depressing!" he announced, slamming down his glass. "Let's go dance some more."

"Sounds good to me," Kurt said, letting Matthias take his hand and lead him back out onto the dance floor.

"So, I'm not going to say my name because I don't want everyone yelling it back at me like this is some kind of AA meeting," a voice said into the microphone, and crap, "but I'll be singing _Nothin' on You_ by B.o.B. and Bruno Mars."

_Beautiful girls, all over the world_

_I could be chasin' but my time would be wasted_

_They got nothin' on you, baby_

_Nothin' on you, baby_

"I wonder who this is for," Matthias mused as they danced, and Kurt had no good answer for that. He had _an_ answer, but it wasn't really one that he liked. Puck was serenading him, subtly, in front of a room full of people. At least, that was Kurt's best guess, and judging by the annoyed expression of Quinn (who had found a stranger to dance with), he was right.

_They might say hi, and I might say hey  
><em>_But you shouldn't worry about what they say  
><em>_'Cause they got nothin' on you, baby  
><em>_Nothin' on you baby_

_I know you feel where I'm comin' from  
><em>_Regardless of the things in my past that I've done  
><em>_Most of it really was for the hell of the fun  
><em>_On the carousel, so around I spun  
><em>_With no direction, just tryna get some  
><em>_Tryna chase skirts, livin' in the summer sun  
><em>_And so I lost more than I had ever won  
><em>_And honestly, I ended up with none_

Okay, so the song was appropriate. It didn't make the gesture any more appropriate. All of the New Directions were looking at him, and judging by Matthias' confused look, he was starting to figure it out. He was going to _kill_ Puck.

"Is this about you?" Matthias asked as Puck headed from the edge of the dance floor (the tiny little portion of it which was saved for the person singing), and began moving through the couples towards where Kurt and Matthias were dancing. Why did they have to give him a portable microphone?

_There's so much nonsense, it's on my conscience  
><em>_I'm thinkin' maybe I should get it out  
><em>_And I don't wanna sound redundant  
><em>_But I was wonderin' if there was somethin' that you wanna know  
><em>_But never mind that, we should let it go  
><em>_'Cause we don't wanna be a TV episode  
><em>_And all the bad thoughts, just let 'em go  
><em>_Go, go, go, go!_

The karaoke machine was filling in all the annoying echoes, and Kurt had to reluctantly admit that Puck sounded good. He wasn't the best rapper (Artie could still teach him a few things), but he was doing his best. Unfortunately, the pre-chorus was all the time Puck needed to reach Kurt and be singing the chorus directly to him as he danced with his new friend.

_Beautiful girls, all over the world  
><em>_I could be chasin' but my time would be wasted  
><em>_They got nothin' on you, baby  
><em>_Nothin' on you, baby_

_They might say hi, and I might say hey  
><em>_But you shouldn't worry about what they say  
><em>_'Cause they got nothin' on you, baby  
><em>_Nothin' on you, baby  
><em>_Yeah_

"Is he your boyfriend? Do you have a boyfriend? Should I go?" The more Kurt shook his head, the more questions Matthias asked, but thankfully Puck left his side and started singing to other girls on the dance floor. It's like he was _trying_ to piss Kurt off. Well, if he was, he was succeeding.

"He's an idiot ex-boyfriend," that was weird to say, "who thinks we should be back together. Just ignore him," Kurt explained once Puck was out of earshot, rapping to a pretty blonde.

"I think I can do that," Matthias said with a hesitant smile, and they continued dancing.

_Hand down, there will never be another one  
><em>_I been around and I never seen another one  
><em>_Because your style ain't really got nothin' on  
><em>_And you wild when you ain't got nothin' on  
><em>_Baby, you the whole package, plus you pay your taxes  
><em>_And you keep it real while them other stay plastic  
><em>_You're my Silver Surfer call me Mr. Fantastic  
><em>_Stop... now think about it_

Kurt blushed a little at the suggestive lyrics (not that Puck would know, of course), and Matthias looked a little concerned. So, the song wasn't _perfect_.

The women of the club looked a little surprised when Puck said 'Silver Surfer' instead of 'Wonder Woman,' but he shrugged like he had just gotten the words wrong. As far as Kurt knew it was the only place in the song that referenced the gender of the person being serenaded (which was more proof used in the war over whether or not Bruno Mars was gay), and Puck had changed it deliberately. Kurt huffed a sigh, and when Matthias looked at him quizzically, he just shook his head.

_I've been to London, I've been to Paris  
><em>_Even way out there to Tokyo  
><em>_Back home down in Georgia, to New Orleans  
><em>_But you always steal the show  
><em>_And just like that, babe, you got me froze  
><em>_Like a Nintendo 64  
><em>_If you never knew, well, now you know  
><em>_Know, know, know, know!_

Except for, of course, right there, and Puck changed it _again_. This time, no one seemed to notice, but it was... sweet. And frustrating. But mostly sweet.

_Beautiful girls, all over the world  
><em>_I could be chasin' but my time would be wasted  
><em>_They got nothin' on you, baby  
><em>_Nothin' on you, baby_

Puck sidled over towards them again, and this time Matthias sighed. He really believed Kurt's story... but, of course, it wasn't a story. It was true. Just simplified. But very true. Puck was technically an ex-boyfriend who thought they should get back together. So, very simplified. But very true.

_They might say hi, and I might say hey  
><em>_But you shouldn't worry about what they say  
><em>_'Cause they got nothin' on you, baby  
><em>_Nothin' on you, baby  
><em>_Yeah_

Puck had the stones to give Kurt a kiss on the cheek as he headed off to sing to the rest of the bar, and Kurt almost turned and slapped him. Almost. He was being ridiculous.

_Where I go, I'm always hearin' yo' name  
><em>_And no matter where I'm at, babe, you make me wanna sing  
><em>_Whether a bus, or a plane, or a car, or a train  
><em>_No sexy girls in my brain, and you the one to blame_

He couldn't be thinking on his feet of how to change the lyrics like that. No way. He had planned this... and it was just like the roses, wasn't it? And the musical too. And, of course, Rachel and Quinn. Kurt had to begrudgingly admit (but only to himself), Puck was good.

_Beautiful girls, all over the world  
><em>_I could be chasin' but my time would be wasted  
><em>_They got nothin' on you, baby  
><em>_Nothin' on you, baby_

_They might say hi, and I might say hey  
><em>_But you shouldn't worry about what they say  
><em>_'Cause they got nothin' on you, baby  
><em>_Nothin' on you, baby  
><em>_Yeah_

Puck didn't bother to sing the outro, giving the microphone back to the manager to clapping, and the music resumed, as if there hadn't been a few minutes where Kurt was in his own personal brand of hell.

* * *

><p>Kurt was still dancing with that same damn guy two or three songs after Puck had sang to him, and he hadn't come over to talk to Puck at all, which was a little annoying. Speaking of annoying, Rachel was still talking, wasn't she?<p>

"I'm starting to get suspicious, Noah," she said in her usual tone of condescension. "Quinn told me that you told her that this was my idea, and she told me this because Mercedes told Quinn that you told her that this was her idea, with my help. Everything in this equation seems to trace back to you."

"Which is Rachel's way of asking you why you planned this whole thing," Quinn said from his other side, and maybe it wasn't his best idea to try to make them friends. They were ganging up on him, and he didn't appreciate.

"No," Rachel corrected her, "that's my way of saying why did you point fingers?"

"Because if Kurt thought _he_ had planned this..." Quinn started the sentence to encourage the rest of the answer out of Rachel, the same way so many teachers had done to him.

"Kurt wouldn't have come and Puck wouldn't have gotten the chance to serenade him and try to push the cute guy he's dancing with away!" Rachel said as if it was an epiphany, and Quinn rolled her eyes.

"Exactly."

"He's not cute." Puck was the one to correct her that time, and they both looked at him disbelievingly. "He's not. His nose is almost as big as Rachel's."

"I'm cute!" Rachel objected.

"Your nose isn't."

"Say whatever you want, Puck." Quinn was rolling her eyes again.

"If you guys are gonna start claiming that I like guys," which he _didn't_, but that wasn't the argument at hand, "I at least get to pass judgment on them."

"I thought you weren't gay," Quinn said, rolling her eyes for the third time and ordering a virgin Strawberry Daiquiri from the all-too-eager bartender.

"I'm not."

"He's bisexual," Rachel corrected, and Puck gave up.

"Whatever. Point is, he's not cute."

"Yes, he is," they both said at the same time.

* * *

><p>Having been on the dance floor for about an hour, Matthias lead him off to the side. "So, it's kind of late, and my family worries about me getting lost enough."<p>

"You came from a big city and they're worried about you getting lost in a small town?" Kurt asked.

"I didn't say it makes sense," Matthias said with a little laugh, "but they do worry. So _here_ is my number," Matthias handed him a piece of paper, "and I hope I'll see you again before I leave."

"I hope you will too." Wow. Just wow.

"Bye," Matthias said with a smile, and he kissed Kurt softly right on the corner of his mouth. "Sorry, European habits," he apologized, but Kurt shrugged.

"It's fine. More than fine."

"See you later, Kurt." Matthias gave him a quick hug before leaving. Kurt smiled briefly to himself (apparently, he was a cute guy magnet now), and turned back towards his friends. Puck, Quinn, and Rachel, who were all standing together at the bar, were watching him. Quinn and Rachel looked pleased, Puck looked annoyed. Really, he had no right.

Kurt stormed up to him, doing his best to look annoyed and intimidating. Judging by Rachel's giggle and Quinn elbowing her, it really wasn't working. "Conversation. _Now_," he demanded in his iciest tones, and Puck just nodded.

"Excuse us, ladies." Kurt assumed Puck was dismissing them, but instead Puck grabbed his hand (ignoring his attempts to pull away), and lead him out onto the dance floor.

_Turn up the music  
><em>_Let's get out on the floor  
><em>_I like to move it  
><em>_Come and give me some more_

"You're-"

"What gives you the right to serenade me?" Kurt demanded of Puck before he could say anything.

"What gives that guy the right to kiss you at the door?" Puck shrugged. "It's a free country." Puck was dancing, but Kurt was stubbornly remaining still (despite how much he loved this song).

_Watch me getting physical  
><em>_Out of control  
><em>_There's people watching me  
><em>_I never miss a beat_

"He didn't kiss me," Kurt corrected Puck. "Well, not on the mouth," Kurt corrected himself.

"Looked pretty damn close," Puck argued, trying and failing to twirl Kurt against his will.

"What if I wanted him to?"

"Then that would be the second guy you've kissed in the past four days. I thought you were classier than that." Kurt huffed. Puck had no right to judge him.

"At least both of those guys are decent to me." Puck looked... surprisingly angry.

_Still the night, kill the lights  
><em>_Feel it under your skin  
><em>_Time is right, keep it tight  
><em>_'Cause it's pulling you in_

"How am I not decent to you?"

"Taking advantage of my feelings to try and convince me to sleep with you?" People were staring, but Kurt didn't particularly care.

"What about now?" What? "How _am_ I not decent to you? That's what I asked. Not what I've done to you before. I know, I did a crappy thing. Can't you see that I'm trying to make up for it?"

"Try harder."

_Wrap it up, you can't stop  
><em>_'Cause it feels like an overdose_

"What do you want from me?" Puck demanded, and he had stopped dancing too. "I sent you flowers, I plan us romantic dates, I serenade you. And you, in return, throw out all my flowers, yeah, Finn told me about that, go out on those dates with some other guy and make out with him on the doorstep, and dance with a _different_ guy while I'm singing to you. Who's the asshole here?"

"Kiss him," some random girl next to them encouraged.

"Shut up," Kurt snapped at her. When Puck chuckled, he added, "You too. You broke my heart, do you seriously think flowers and champagne and a song are going to change my feelings towards you?"

"What do you want from me?" Puck demanded.

_Oh, oh, evacuate the dance floor  
><em>_Oh, oh, I'm infected by the sound  
><em>_Oh, oh, stop, this beat is killing me  
><em>_Hey Dr. DJ, let the music take me underground_

"Someone who actually cares about me," Kurt replied, trying not to let his anger get the best of him. "Someone who actually wants to be with me, not just to sleep with me. Someone who's willing to admit to himself that he has feelings for me. Someone who's willing to admit to the rest of the world that he's attracted to guys." It was at this point that Puck looked at the ground, rather than staring Kurt down. "Someone who's willing to fall in love, who doesn't think romance is stupid. Someone who doesn't have a _list_ of notches in his bedpost! Someone who's everything you're not."

_Oh, oh, evacuate the dance floor  
><em>_Oh, oh, I'm infected by the sound  
><em>_Oh, oh, stop, this beat is killing me  
><em>_Hey Dr. DJ, come burn this place right down to the ground_

* * *

><p>Kurt had stormed out of Planet Rose after giving Puck a little speech about everything he needed from a relationship. Puck had hung around for a little bit, convincing Finn to convince the bartender to give them some of the booze in the back, but they didn't stick around long. Quinn, who was completely sober, drove both of them home, dropping off Puck first and then driving Finn to the Hudson-Hummel household (which, shortly, would include Sam, because his parents were moving away). Puck would pay good money to hear the conversation in that car.<p>

Puck was still a little buzzed when he got home, but not enough that he couldn't stop into his sister's room and make sure she was asleep. She was all tucked in, so he gave her a quick kiss on the forehead before heading to his own room.

He didn't really want to think about what Kurt had said at the club. He had given a whole list of reasons for them not to be together, not one of which was on Finn's list of twenty-three.

This was totally spontaneous, he thought to himself as he dialed Kurt's number. It wasn't a prong, and it wasn't something he had thought through, but he could totally do this.

"Why are you calling me?" Kurt demanded.

"Why'd you pick up?" Puck asked, his own voice ringing in his ears a little. "Did you think it was cute Greek guy?" Crap, Puck had admitted he was cute. At least Quinn and Rachel weren't there.

"I didn't give him my number. Are you drunk?"

"Getting there."

"I'm hanging up," Kurt announced.

"Don't!" Puck yelled at an unnecessarily loud volume. "I wanna talk to you."

"That is generally the reason one person calls another, yes," Kurt said sassily, but at least he hadn't hung up.

"Well, kind of. I wanna sing to you."

"Not again." He still didn't hang up.

"And the singer's totally Jewish," Puck added, because yeah, he was.

"How did you get away with _Nothin' on You_ then?" Kurt asked, and even buzzed, Puck could tell he was smirking.

"Bruno Mars is a fourth Jewish." Kurt let out a frustrated huff, and Puck smiled. "Plus, isn't he gay?"

"Undetermined," Kurt replied snappily. "Are you going to sing to me, or can I go to bed now?"

_You were Juliet and I was into you  
><em>_And I asked you out till you couldn't say no  
><em>_And you finally felt it too  
><em>_I drove you down the boulevard  
><em>_That's where you took my heart  
><em>_And gave me yours instead  
><em>_And every day you find new ways to be beautiful_

Kurt had let slip a soft little 'aw,' and this was totally working. Plus, Jaron was Jewish.

_You laugh at the garden  
><em>_That we grow in the lawn  
><em>_Drink coffee in the kitchen  
><em>_With no make-up on  
><em>_Sing all the wrong words  
><em>_To my favorite songs  
><em>_You're beautiful  
><em>_And that's beautiful_

_You got lines on your face  
><em>_From sleeping on me  
><em>_Call me at work  
><em>_'Cause you lost your key  
><em>_You go to buy a dog  
><em>_And you come home with three  
><em>_You're beautiful  
><em>_And that's beautiful to me_

_You turn every head  
><em>_When you walk into a room  
><em>_But your kindness  
><em>_And your sweetened soul  
><em>_Lingers like perfume  
><em>_Babe, you could have gone with Romeo  
><em>_But you stayed with me instead  
><em>_And every day I find new ways  
><em>_That make you beautiful_

_You say, honey give me roses  
><em>_But don't buy red  
><em>_You need forty-six pillows  
><em>_All over the bed  
><em>_Guess every punch line  
><em>_Before it's said  
><em>_You're beautiful  
><em>_And that's beautiful_

_Whatcha doing with a guy like me?  
><em>_You're so cool  
><em>_And I'm high tea  
><em>_I don't deserve to have a guy  
><em>_As beautiful as you_

_Ya, you laugh at the garden  
><em>_That we grow in the lawn  
><em>_Drink coffee in the kitchen  
><em>_With no make-up on  
><em>_Sing all the wrong words  
><em>_To my favorite songs  
><em>_You're beautiful  
><em>_And that's beautiful_

_You got lines on your face  
><em>_From sleeping on me  
><em>_Call me a work  
><em>_'Cause you lost your key  
><em>_You go to buy a dog  
><em>_And you come home with three  
><em>_You're beautiful  
><em>_And that's beautiful to me  
><em>_You're so beautiful  
><em>_And that's beautiful to me_

"That was very cute," Kurt said after a few moments of silence, "but it doesn't make a difference."

"Look, all those things you said at the club... you totally deserve a guy like that. And maybe I'm not a sap like Blaine or Chandler, but I do care about you, and want to be with you. I know I have feelings for you, even though they're not very badass." Kurt was giggling, but Puck was totally serious. "And everyone totally knows I like you, and I'll totally admit that if you make Quinn and Rachel stop trying to pin down my sexuality."

"Deal," Kurt said, and it sounded like he was smiling.

"I don't really know anything about love yet, but I'm _trying_ to romance you. Maybe I just suck at it. And if you're waiting for a guy who has all of those things and doesn't have any flaws... you're in for a long wait, princess."

"What do you want from me, Puck? It's late."

"One date. I want you to come over here on Wednesday, and let me try and fail to romance you. Just one date."

"What about the list?"

"One date."

Kurt sighed. "Fine. One date." For a moment, Puck thought Kurt had hung up on him, but after a few seconds of silence, Kurt added, "And you're not bad at romance." Then Kurt hung up on him.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Yay! One date! I have to apologize for the wait. I was on a business trip without my computer and yadda, yadda, yadda. Lots of excuses. The point is: here is a new chapter. No, Chandler's not gone yet, but Matthias is never coming back (I just needed him to delay things). If Kurt seems a bit... sporadic, never fear. You'll get an inside look into what he's thinking next chapter as Puck prepares for the most romantic date **_**ever**_**.**

**Songs used (I apologize there are so many, but they **_**were**_** at a club):  
><strong>'_Chasing Cars_' by Snow Patrol  
>'<em>Nothin' on You<em>' by B.o.B featuring Bruno Mars (who _is_ one-fourth Jewish)  
>'<em>Evacuate the Dance Floor<em>' by Cascada  
>'<em>That's Beautiful to Me<em>' by Jaron and the Long Road to Love (Jaron is 100% an Orthodox Jew)

**Oh, and the reason I didn't write anything about The Music Man is because I don't actually **_**know**_** anything about The Music Man, and I didn't feel like doing research. I apologize.**

**Planet Rose, for the record, is a karaoke bar without a stage in New York, New York. It's apparently very cute, I've never been there. I just trasnported it to Ohio for my own purposes.**

**Reviews are Love.**


	26. The Date

Finn had been at his house for almost the entirety of the day, but Puck was pretty sure that his date with Kurt would be ready by the time the countertenor arrived at his house the next day. "Dude, you're really going all out," Finn said as he put the chocolates Puck had picked up for Kurt in the fridge.

"Shh," Puck said, still on the phone with the most annoying lady in the history of ever. "What do you mean you don't deliver tiramisu?"

"I'm sorry, sir, but we can't do delivery unless you're ordering more then fifty dollars worth on entree," said the awful, irritating ass lady.

"I'm trying to plan a romantic date for my... girlfriend, don't you think you could make an exception?" Puck practically choked on the word, and Finn smirked a little. Every time there was the slightest hint that Puck liked Kurt a little more than he was willing to admit, Finn became the most smug bastard on the planet.

"I'm sorry, sir, but I could be fired for ordering the delivery of tiramisu," said butt lady extraordinare.

"Fine. I'll pick up the tiramisu at 10 o'clock under the name Hudson," Puck said to the obnoxious woman, pouting at Finn until he nodded. They had their own language, they had been friends for so long.

"Absolutely. Pleased to do business with you sir." The world's least helpful waitress hung up.

"I still don't get what you're trying to do here... besides get with my brother," Finn corrected his own statement with a slight frown. It probably still weirded Finn out that Puck liked Kurt, especially because Kurt was male, but Puck couldn't care less.

"All you have to do is pick up the tiramisu and bring it over," Puck said, not bothering to explain his whole plan to Finn for the third time. Finn couldn't seem to keep that much information in his head.

"And this isn't gonna end in my little brother getting hurt, right?" Finn asked, giving Puck a suspicious glare that he must have picked up from either Kurt or Rachel. Finn was too puppy-dog-ish to have come up with that particular evil eye on his own.

"I can't promise you that, Finn," Puck said for about the five thousandth time. He had absolutely no idea how this date was going to go, and yes, he had an idealized version, but it had definitely been a spur of the moment idea, and Kurt was probably regretting the decision to come over...

* * *

><p>Kurt had been pacing all day, and it was driving Quinn up the wall. True to her promise to Puck, she had mostly kept out of Kurt and Puck's relationship, but this was new. And irking. And ridiculously curiosity-inducing. "Kurt, is something wrong?" she finally asked from the Hudson-Hummel couch. It was a little awkward being in Finn's house after everything that had gone on between them, but Finn was over at Puck's, and she was all alone with Kurt for the afternoon.<p>

"Puck and I have a date for tomorrow," Kurt answered, sounding nervous and stressed and confused, and Quinn was going to _kill_ Puckerman once she got her hands on him. "And I..." Kurt trailed off, obviously lost in his own head. Kurt was so naive sometimes, Quinn just wanted to wrap him up in her arms and protect him from everything. Damn maternal instincts.

"And you?" she prompted gently, patting the seat next to her, inviting him to sit. He didn't even seem to notice the invitation.

"When we were at Planet Rose, I... I ranted at Puck a whole list of things that I think are wrong between the two of us and are reasons we should never be together... but..." Kurt sat down, wringing his hands. "I omitted one."

"And that would be?" Quinn asked as if she knew what the others were. Sometimes Kurt took a little bit of coaxing.

"I'm scared, Quinn." Kurt's voice sounded brutally honest in a way Quinn had only ever heard once before, and she had a horrible flashback to that very time. It was the night she told Kurt that Puck was tricking him. "Please tell me you're lying. _Please_," he had begged, and she swallowed down a little bit of bile at the memory.

"Kurt, I know he's hurt you in the past, but-"

"It's not about that," Kurt interrupted, standing up again and going for the junk food cabinet. When Quinn raised an eyebrow, Kurt replied, "Never tell Finn." Not that keeping a secret from her ex-boyfriend would be a problem. "The thing is," Kurt said as he started on Finn's cheese curls, "Noah's not gay. I know that. I don't even know if he's bisexual, and I know I'm never going to get a straight answer from him on that subject." Quinn snickered; she couldn't help it. "Oh, shu ub," Kurt muttered with a mouthful.

"I know what you mean, sweetie," Quinn said gently, resisting the urge to laugh some more.

"Back when I thought Puck had feelings for me," Kurt's mouth tightened a bit, "one of my biggest concerns was that he would be uncomfortable with my... the fact that I'm male," he corrected himself at Quinn's raised eyebrow, "after we moved anywhere past kissing. Do you remember what you said to me when I first told you about that?"

"No," Quinn said honestly.

"You said you could tell me about a few not-so-straight things he's done," Kurt said as if that was the answer he had expected, stuffing a few more cheese sculls in his mouth. "Sho, ell mh aout em."

"You should really chew before you talk," Quinn said in reply, but Kurt just shrugged. Apparently, all boys had gross eating habits when they became comfortable enough around you. "Look, Noah... when we were little kids," she, Finn, and Puck had known each other since they were in cradles, "Puck was... people used to think he was a little bit different. His dad was so scary that they never said anything out loud, but a lot of people treated him the same way they treated you..." Quinn swallowed a lump in her throat. She had been so horrible to Kurt before Glee had brought them together. "The point is, do you know who Noah's first crush was?"

"No," Kurt answered. "Maybe a friend's mother," he said with a pinch of bitterness.

"Finn Hudson," Quinn answered, and once the news had sunk in, Kurt cracked up laughing, almost choking on the cheese curl he had been eating.

"_No_," he managed to get out, and then he started coughing and laughing all at the same time.

"He told me this when we were three. Then his dad left, and..." Quinn knew Kurt knew enough that she didn't have to finish that sentence.

"While that is the _best_ story of all time," Kurt said with a smile once he had composed himself, "I don't see how one childhood crush means he's gay. It's not like he's ever actually... has he?" Kurt asked suddenly, because her expression must have been very guilty.

"When Finn and Puck were fourteen, they went to a basketball camp out of state. It was before either of them really liked football, and Finn was much better than Puck at the game. Thus, Puck was getting a lot of attention from the seventeen-year-old counselor, who Finn presumed was trying to make Puck better. That counselor was fired for inappropriate interactions with a camper, and Puck was kicked out of the camp for reasons that his mother never disclosed to anyone. I've never asked him about it, but..." Quinn let the sentence hang there. Kurt wasn't an idiot.

"Interesting," Kurt said, staring at the half-empty bag in his hands and eating another cheese curl. "So Puck might not be quite as straight as he likes to pretend. And no one else has any idea?" Quinn shook her head. "How do you know all this?" Kurt asked suspiciously.

"Ruth and I had some interesting conversations while I was living with Puck." Quinn and Kurt made significant eye contact, and both died laughing.

* * *

><p>Kurt could call Chandler. That was definitely an option on the table. He could find the phone number Matthias gave him and ring up the visitor, see if they could go out for coffee. He could call any of his girls. He could call his brother home from his... Puck's. He could even call Puck. However, lounging on his bed in the air conditioning reading Vogue seemed like a better idea than all of those combined. Frankly, he needed a few minutes to get his head on straight.<p>

Rachel made it very clear that she approved of his relationship with Chandler, but she had also made it very clear that she disapproved of his attitude lately, something she had been more than happy to elaborate on. "If you really want to be with Chandler, or really want to be with _any_ of the options you seem to have lately, you have to be committed. You've been flirty lately, in a way I associate with pretty girls like Quinn. I mean, you _clearly_ have Puck on your hook, and even I can tell that you're not committed to him, you spent the whole of the event I planned flirting with some nameless, if incredibly cute, guy, and you seem to be dating the only of the three that I've met and approve of, Chandler. You need to pick one and stick to him." Kurt had, of course, listened to this whole rant, but as usual, only very little of what Rachel had said was actually important and not just a reason to mention herself in conversation in the hopes that Kurt will ask her about her life, something he did _not_ want to hear about.

She was right. He had acquired an unusual number of options lately. He didn't know whether it was the changing times (he sincerely doubted that), or whether the theory "when it rains, it pours," was at work, but he did have options. To be completely honest, he was kind of enjoying exploring them. For a long time he had been convinced he wouldn't meet another guy until college, but this was better (and worse) than he ever could have imagined.

He wasn't going to call Matthias, he knew that. Yes, he was cute, but Kurt didn't really know him, and they didn't really have anything in common, or any chemistry. And Chandler, he had his moments. He really did. He could be cute, nice, nervous, vulnerable... but ninety percent of the time he made Kurt want to pull his perfectly coifed hair out. And it wasn't that he wasn't cute, because he was. He was just... not Kurt's type. If Kurt was being entirely honest, they were just a little bit too alike. He didn't want to date a hyperactive version of himself that spoke in monologues.

Noah _Puck_erman was the person he was the most confused about by far. Sometimes Noah was the best guy in the world, charming (in his own crude way), funny, a little bit sensitive under the whole 'badass' thing, and since Kurt could officially admit it now, very sexy. _Very_ sexy. He could be a good guy at times, but he was as clueless about what was going on as Kurt was. Puck, however, was an idiot with a temper who refused to admit that he was attracted to guys and had picked on Kurt for that very thing earlier in their past. It was like Noah Puckerman was two entirely different people fighting for control, and for a moment Kurt entertained the idea that Puck had multiple personality disorder. He quickly dismissed it though. His two personas had far too much in common.

Kurt needed to 'break up' with Chandler, despite how much he knew Rachel would protest, but he couldn't bring himself to make the call. It was awful, to realize that oneself was shallow enough to want someone on the back burner, but he wasn't exactly the first person to ever entertain the idea. If he met Puck on the date, he would walk right out the door, drive to Columbus, and go out on a date with Chandler. If he met Noah at the door, he would see how the date goes, and if the date went well, he would break up with Chandler, hopefully in person.

The plan was perfect. Now, where were his cheese curls? He needed to finish them before Finn got home.

* * *

><p>Kurt sighed as he looked at himself in the mirror. He was trying on outfits for his experimental date with Puck (as he was insistently calling it, if only to himself), but his heart wasn't in it. He kept feeling the urge to put on layers and layers, despite how silly the notion was. Puck wasn't enough of an idiot to try anything on this experimental date, and he certainly wasn't that... okay, he <em>could<em> be that pushy, but Kurt tired to keep in mind that Puck was generally a good guy. Even if he was an idiot. Especially when he was Noah.

Kurt was also trying not to feel unnecessarily guilty. Chandler was a good guy, but there was something about Puck that kept his idiotic brain coming back for more. He couldn't get the idea of being with Puck out of his head, and until the date ended, he would never be able to commit to Chandler fully... even if he wanted to.

He decided on simple, just because he couldn't make anything else work at the moment. Gucci Belt-Print Tee, Alexander McQueen Mini Skull-Print Blazer, Kilton Light Green Flat-Front Pants, and Valentine Rockstud Rubber Boots (which were technically women's. But whatever. Puck wouldn't notice). After admiring his reflection in his mirror, he nodded. It was time.

* * *

><p>Kurt was scheduled to arrive within the next ten minutes, so Puck was setting up the final touches. He had sent Finn a reminder text about the damn tiramisu, plus his other special surprise, and he had called the Chinese place to confirm his delivery in about half an hour. He figured that would give them plenty of time to talk. He put Say Anything in the DVD player and put all the remotes in one place so he wouldn't have to go searching for them. He had packed the picnic basket. Everything was in place. All he needed was Kurt.<p>

* * *

><p>Kurt took a deep breath as he pulled up to the Puckerman house. He knew Puck's place wasn't exactly in a good neighborhood, but that wasn't what he was nervous about. The real nerve-wracking question was who was going to open the door, Puck or Noah?<p>

He was about two minutes late by the time he had gathered up the nerve to take the first step out of his car and towards Puck's house. He had no idea what time it was when he finally knocked on the door of the Puckerman household, but considering how fast Puck opened the door, he must have been noticeably late. Oh well.

"Hey," Puck said casually, and Kurt made the executive decision to mentally call him Puck, if just for a little bit. Oh, and then there was the song.

_Should they catch us and dispatch us to those separate work camps,  
><em>_I'll dream about you. I will not doubt you with the passing of time (oh yeah)  
><em>_Should they kill me, your love will fill me, as warm as the bullets (yeah)  
><em>_I'll know my purpose. This war was worth this. I won't let you down_

"Hi," Kurt replied, trying not to sound as shy as he was suddenly feeling. Fear of the unknown, he supposed.

"I got you chocolates," Puck said, handing Kurt one of those stereotypical Valentine hearts that probably had a grand total of ten chocolates in it, but he still made the decision that this was Noah. Thank anything above.

"Thank you." Kurt accepted them from Noah, nervously picking at the plastic but not opening them. Noah was looking at his hands, as if he had expected Kurt to open them and started devouring them, but eventually Kurt cleared his throat.

"Oh, uh, yeah. Come in," Noah opened the door wider, stepping out of Kurt's way. The rock music had died down (it seemed to have been replaced by Kris Allen's only popular song ever), and the whole place was immaculately clean, fresh smelling and lit by candles. It was surprisingly romantic. "You can sit down, if you want," Noah's voice came from unexpectedly close behind him, making him jump.

"Yes, thank you," Kurt said, trying not to revert to the formality that was one of his many defense mechanisms. Kurt took a seat on the couch, placing his chocolates in his lap and not objected when Noah sat next to him. Noah left about half a foot between them, not far enough away to make him seen uninterested, but not too close either. "So..." Kurt had no idea what to say. He had been thinking about the date all day, but this wasn't anywhere near any of the things he had been expecting (which ranged from being whisked away to some crappily-lit pizza place in downtown Lima to Noah dropping to his knees at the door and begging for forgiveness, asking Kurt to marry him).

* * *

><p>"I thought we should talk first," Puck said a little bit nervously. Kurt was sitting stiff as a board, he had barely said anything, and though the plastic looked a little rough around the edges, he hadn't opened his chocolates yet.<p>

"What about?" Kurt asked, sounding a little bit icy, but not too far gone. It made sense that Kurt wasn't exactly happy with him.

"Us," Puck replied, realizing exactly how sappy that sounded and not caring as the Counting Crows started playing.

"What is there to talk about?" Okay, now he was just being annoying.

"Didn't you want to yell at me some more?" Puck snapped, regretting it immediately after. Shit, that was _not_ how he wanted this night to go.

Kurt surprised him. He was always doing that. "If I wanted to yell at you more, I wouldn't be here," Kurt said softly, instead of snapping in reply.

"Why are you here?" How badly was he going to sabotage himself tonight?

"That's a very good question, _Puck_," Kurt said, his voice snapping right back to icy, and now he was getting angry. "I could be out on a date right now with a very sweet, very cute guy who loves musicals and shopping and fashion, who knows the difference between Barbra Streisand and Barbara Palvin, but it seems every time I get close to a proper date with him, Rachel and Quinn show up as sabotage." Kurt looked at him, accusatory, as if he could deny it at this point.

"Okay, yeah, I'm sorry about that. But I really wanted to go to that damn musical with you," Puck muttered by way of apology. Setting Rachel and Quinn, two of the craziest girls he had ever met, on him when he had sent a bottle of champagne... that was just cruel.

"Why?" Kurt demanded, finally slicing through the plastic with one of his perfect fingernails. "You hate musicals."

"You love them. Maybe I wanted to see what the big fucking deal was." He was in deep shit for that, he knew it as soon as he said it.

Kurt surprised him again. This time by changing the subject. He was still kind of mad. "And then, of course, there was the fact that I couldn't walk an inch in my house for a few weeks without encountering roses." Kurt stood up.

"Why do you act like everything I try to woo you is really me trying to annoy you?" Puck snapped angrily. Because really, girls loved it when guys bought them roses. Apparently, that didn't go for gay guys.

"And then, to add to said list of offenses," Kurt said, ignoring his comment but for the sly mention, "there's rigging a karaoke get together for the Glee club just to _embarrass _me by serenading me-"

"Well you probably would have been a little bit more charmed if you hadn't been dancing with another guy-" Puck stood up at this point too, because Kurt was doing his best to loom over the jock.

"And yes, Rachel told me about that, because she had an absolute _fit_ when I told her about this date because she couldn't _believe_ I would give you another chance-"

"So just because I was a fucking idiot one time that means I don't deserve a damn chance-"

"Maybe if you weren't so _pushy_ and you had given me time to forgive you-"

"Maybe I knew that if I backed off for a moment, you would never be interested in me again-"

"Puck-"

"Because I don't know what _idiocy_ possessed you that made you _like_ me, but I certainly want to take advantage of it!" Puck finished the screaming match by managing to yell over the power of Kurt's impressive lungs. His throat hurt and he was heaving, but Kurt was silent.

"What do you want from me, Noah?" Kurt asked, throwing his box of chocolates back onto the couch. The plastic was torn apart, and one of Kurt's fingers appeared to be bleeding.

"I'll get you a Band-Aid for that," Puck muttered, retreating to the bathroom for a moment, because he wasn't sure how to answer that.

* * *

><p>Kurt sat down on the couch with a sigh, sucking the blood off his finger and having a quick, slightly-hysterical laugh. Bella Swan was right, blood tasted like rust and salt. Puck had scurried off somewhere to get a Band-Aid for his finger, which was bleeding rather insistently from the plastic on the chocolates which were poking into his butt. Kurt placed them on the end table next to the couch, ripping the rest of the plastic off out of spite.<p>

This wasn't exactly how he had imagined the date going, but it had been one of the possibilities he had imagined. Noah and he had so much chemistry, sometimes it was a little bit explosive.

When Noah ducked back into the room (and yes, despite the yelling, he was still Noah), Kurt expected him to shove the Band-Aid into Kurt's good hand with a 'here.' Instead, Noah sat next to him, taking his hand gently, tearing open the Band-Aid and wrapping it around Kurt's cut finger. It was a surprisingly tender gesture, and the Gloriana song playing from his speaker only added to the atmosphere.

"I want..." Noah sighed. "This sucks. I can't believe you're making me say this."

"_Puck_," Kurt implored. Yes, he was still calling him Puck verbally. The change would be noticeable in that moment, and it was something he wanted to save for later.

"I want what I had with Quinn, without the baby." Kurt stared at Noah for a moment, because he had never really understood what Noah and Quinn had, and Quinn had never wanted to talk about. "You know... or I guess you don't. Why can't women talk about the things you actually want them to?" Noah sighed, running a hand through his Mohawk. "I want someone who actually gives a crap about me, someone who's willing to put up with all of this," Noah waved his hand around, gesturing at his living room, but Kurt had a feeling he really meant his life, "and someone I could maybe get to that point with." Noah didn't elaborate for a good minute or so, so Kurt had to ask.

"What point?"

"You know. Those three big words and all that crap." Kurt chuckled. He had to. It was so Noah.

"Well, I already care about you," Kurt replied, thinking through his words carefully. "If what I've seen of your life hasn't scared me away yet, nothing's going to." Noah thankfully laughed at that. "Do you think you could ever reach 'that point,'" Kurt made sure to make the air quotes obvious in his voice, "with me?"

"Maybe," was all Noah had to say, and Kurt was about ready to hit him. "Dude, this was so much easier when you were my Halo buddy."

"You mean the Halo buddy that could kick your ass?" Kurt asked with a smile, because he knew it still bothered Noah that he could beat him at that game.

"Not for long, princess," Noah replied automatically, and Kurt laughed at the nickname. "When did things get so sucky?"

"Well, that's quite a technical term, Mr. Puckerman," Kurt said dryly. "And to answer your question: when Blaine and I broke up, when you started being nice to me, and when I started liking you. I think that was all in the same twelve hours or so." Noah laughed.

"I almost forgot about that asshole. How's Lame?"

"Your guess is as good as mine," Kurt said, finally reaching over and taking the cover off his chocolates. "I haven't talked to him since the morning of our first date." Kurt popped a chocolate in his mouth, hoping it wasn't the coconut filled one. "Choolat?" Kurt asked Noah, who chuckled.

"No, I'm good, Señor Classy."

* * *

><p>Puck sighed as Kurt munched at his chocolate, leaning back against the couch and throwing his arm around the back of it, not touching Kurt. At least they had stopped fighting. They sat in silence listening to The Script for a minute before Kurt asked the question he had been dreading (and least, the only one he had actively <em>thought<em> to dread).

"So where does this leave us?"

"Shouldn't you be the one answering that?" Puck asked instead of answering. "You're kind of the one making the decisions here." Which meant Kurt was the chick, but Puck wasn't stupid enough to say that.

"You just told me you don't know if you could fall in love with me," Kurt said. "I think you get some input to." Okay, never mind. No chick in the history of the universe had ever said that.

"You're dating some other dude."

"I wanted to see how this date would go."

"Sounds good to me."

"Pardon?"

"Let's see how this date goes. If it goes well and you break up with that Candle dude-"

"Chandler."

"Whatever. If you break up with him, we can talk about all of this crap later." Plus, it gave Puck a little more time to think. Because his mind was just about overloaded.

Kurt was squirming a bit on the couch, putting his chocolates back on the end table. "Can I just ask you about one more thing?" he asked, his voice almost drowned out by Secondhand Serenade.

"I guess." Crap.

"Quinn told me a story, and I wanted to know if it was what it seemed to be." Okay, so sometimes Kurt talked a little bit like a girl. Still. Whatever.

"Okay..."

"She said that when you were fourteen, you went to summer basketball camp with Finn," he was going to _kill_ her, "and that while you were there, something happened that may have called your sexuality into question." Oh G-d, he was going to kill that cheerleading bitch.

"Look, Quinn likes drama, okay? A camp counselor gave me a handy. That's all that happened." Why did Quinn have to tell him about that? Knowing her, she also told him about the damn little crush he had on Finn for like four seconds at three.

"She also told me a rather humorous story about something we have in common," Kurt said, and Puck could tell by how tightly he was pressing his lips together that he was fighting off a smile.

"Dammit. I hate women."

"Sounds like good news for me," Kurt said dryly, and they both cracked up.

_You were Juliet and I was into you  
><em>_And I asked you out till you couldn't say no  
><em>_And you finally felt it too_

"This is that song you sang for me on the phone, isn't it?"

"Yeah, but for the record, I was drunk."

"_Sure_," Kurt said, but he didn't sound very convinced. "So, did you plan for this date to devolve into a screaming match that would end with me leaving, or is there something else planned?" The words sounded kind of cruel, but the sparkle in Kurt's eyes made it obviously teasing. He really was cute, in his own way.

There was a knock on the door, and Puck checked the time. It had been exactly thirty minutes since Kurt had arrived. That was just too perfect to happen in real life. "You seem to know the magic words," Puck said with a grin as he stood up. He grabbed his wallet out of his coat, opened the door, accepted the bags, paid the delivery man, and closed the door as quickly as he could, feeling Kurt's eyes on his back the whole time.

"Chinese food?" Kurt asked, sounding surprised. "I would make a comment about how 'classy' that is, but I've actually been wanting Chinese food for like three weeks." Sometimes it was really nice to have sources.

"I just thought it would be more comfortable than a formal sit-down dinner. I have a sappy rom-com for us too," Puck said, so glad that his plan was working. He put the bags down on the coffee table, sitting next to Kurt again as he pulled out the food. "Grab whatever you want, I'll grab us plates and silverware."

By the time they were both settled in to watch the movie with full plates of Chinese food (Kurt could apparently be a little bit of a glutton when he let himself), Kurt had slid closer to Puck, and they were touching from shoulder to thigh, almost cuddling. It was too hot for a blanket, but that would definitely complete the picture. "I love this movie," Kurt said with a smile as the title screen for 'Say Anything' came up.

"I have one condition before I hit play," Puck said, reaching over his date for the remote.

"And that would be?" Kurt asked with a raised eyebrow. Puck was trying not to come up with potential guesses as to what he was thinking would be the condition.

"Turn off your phone." That clearly surprised him. "I want this to be just us. No Mercedes texting to ask how the date is going or Rachel texting to yell at you for giving me a second chance or Finn texting to get advice from you about his personal problems. Just you and me."

"I think I can agree to that," Kurt said, and Puck watched as he turned off his iPhone. "What about yours?"

"It's been off the whole time." That made Kurt smile.

* * *

><p>Noah had dimmed the music while they were watching the movie, but Kurt could still occasionally hear snatches of a melody or vocals. Noah's romantic playlist wasn't perfect, but it was sweet and definitely several steps in the right direction.<p>

Kurt loved Say Anything (especially the song _In Your Eyes_, which he was pretty sure was somewhere in Noah's playlist), but he wasn't entirely paying attention to the movie. He knew Noah wasn't really watching the screen (romantic comedies weren't really Noah's type of movie), and he could feel Noah watching him. He was kind of staring, but Kurt had found he didn't really mind.

Kurt pretended he didn't notice when Noah's arm slipped off the back of the couch and instead encircled his shoulders, pulling Kurt a little bit closer. Yes, it was kind of warm for cuddling, but night was starting to descend outside, and the air was getting cooler. Noah's arm was warm and comfortable and strong, and Kurt didn't mind one bit.

By the time they had finished Say Anything, almost all of the Chinese food was gone, all of Kurt's chocolates were gone, and he and Noah had relaxed into a position that was the closest he had gotten to cuddling with someone in a long time.

"That was a surprisingly cool movie," Noah said as if he'd been watching it. The jock stood up, putting the last of the Chinese food in the fridge. "Not as bad as most rom-coms."

"What were the lead characters names?" Kurt asked, trying to fight off a smile.

"Dobler and... crap, what's that chick's name," Noah mumbled to himself, and Kurt gave up, laughing at his date.

"Diane Court, but I admire your efforts." Noah rolled his eyes.

"Whatever, princess. You liked the movie, right?"

"Very much so," Kurt said. "Anything else on your docket?"

There was some hasty slamming on the door, followed by a nervous, familiar-sounding yell of, "Dude, let me in, your freaky neighbor's on his porch with a semi-auto!"

"He really knows how to break the mood," Noah grumbled as he undid the chain and then opened the door, which Finn practically fell into.

"Oh, good." Finn looked over. "Hey, lil' bro."

"Finnegan." What the hell was Finn doing crashing their date? He must have known it was happening, since he had helped Noah orchestrate the roses and the musicals. Kurt was ready to kill him. It was a very familiar feeling.

"Here you go." Finn handed Noah two bags, one that was paper and one that looked a _lot_ like one of the tote bags Quinn had given him for Christmas.

"Get out of here," Noah said as he grabbed both of them.

"Dude, your neighbor-"

"He doesn't have a license for that thing and he hasn't got any bullets," Noah said, rolling his eyes as though he had told Finn that a hundred times. "Get _out_."

"If I die, it's on you, man." Finn glanced back over at him. "Have fun, bro." Kurt couldn't quite make out what Finn said to Noah following that, but since he was acting the stereotypical overprotective brother, it was probably along the lines of 'but not too much fun.'

"Is there a reason he stole a tote bag from my room?" Kurt asked as Noah walked over to the kitchen, grabbing something else and putting it in the paper bag.

"Because he's lazy and he doesn't plan well," Noah answered, sounding a bit annoyed with his best friend. "Here you go," he added, placing the tote bag in Kurt's lap. Kurt opened up the bag to find his favorite pair of lazy pajamas: an old t-shirt and flannel pajama bottoms. They had comforted him through many a night following torment.

"I'm not sleeping here," Kurt said firmly, because while the notion was _romantic_, providing Noah didn't try anything, it was way too much for what was technically a first date, and none of the girls would cover for him. Except maybe Quinn, but even Burt knew boys couldn't stay the night at her house. Not even him.

"I know," Noah said. "This one's just a bit more fun in PJs. I'll be right back." Kurt heard Noah thump up the stairs, obviously going to grab his pajamas.

There were two options in front of him. The first was that he could wear the pajamas and decide that it was worth trying what Noah thought would be so romantic. The second was to refuse to wear the pajamas and see what Noah would do. Only one of them was really rational, and Kurt ducked into the bathroom to change into his pajamas (just in case Noah came back early).

* * *

><p>Kurt looked adorable in his pajamas, which were just a bit too big on him. Puck smiled imagining what he would look like right before bed, with no make-up (because Puck knew he wore make-up, no matter how much he denied it. <em>No one<em> had skin that perfect, not even Quinn) and with all the product gone from his hair. Then he slapped himself for being such a sap. "You ready?" he asked his date as he came back downstairs, noticing Kurt standing surreptitiously near the paper bag.

"Where are we going?" Kurt asked as Puck held the door open for his date and gestured for Kurt to leave.

"My backyard." Yeah, his neighborhood was a little gritty, and his neighbor was crazy, but his backyard was pretty nice, neatly mowed and kind of secluded. It was the perfect spot for their little picnic. Kurt walked through the door he was holding open, still looking a little bit suspicious, and Puck popped the tiramisu and chocolate-covered strawberries in the waiting picnic basket before following him.

"A romantic picnic under the stars?" Kurt asked as he noticed the picnic blanket Puck was carrying and the blanket that was spread out on the ground. Really, he should stop sounding so surprised. Puck could be romantic when he wanted to be. "How cliche," was Kurt's reaction, but Puck knew he liked it.

"Please, princess, everyone knows you dream about sappy things like this."

"Among other things," Kurt said with a little grin, and Puck had to smile back. Sometimes, Kurt could be the chillest person he had ever met.

"Well, when you have a boyfriend as sexy as me, it's hard to have dry sheets in the morning," Puck said with a smirk, and Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Nice try, slipping the 'b' word in there, but you've got a lot of work ahead of you, stud." At least Kurt had called him stud. "So, what are we eating?"

"The most romantic dessert food ever, and your favorite dessert food ever," Puck said, sitting down on the blanket and pulling out the tiramisu and chocolate-covered strawberries.

"Having my brother in your corner is really helping, isn't it?" Kurt said dryly, but he was smiling. The countertenor took a seat next to him on the picnic blanket.  
>"More than you could ever imagine," Puck said, placing the food between them and picking up a strawberry carefully with his fingers.<p>

"Just don't get another crush on him," Kurt teased, looking at their surroundings rather than at Puck. His backyard was a nice place, with a bunch of trees surrounding the little open space they were settled in. Plus, Lima had been very under-industrialized back in the day, and all the stars were visible. "This is nice," Kurt said, smiling a bit before looking over at Puck and noticing the strawberry in his hand. "What?"

"Open wide, princess."

"_No_," Kurt said with a little laugh. "We are _not_ playing the sappy feed each other game."

"Then I guess you don't get any strawberries," Puck teased with a shrug. He pretended to be tipping the one in his hand into his mouth until Kurt gave up.

"All right!" Kurt sighed. "Feed me the strawberry."

"I knew you found me irresistible, princess." Puck took the strawberry between his fingers again and gently fed it into Kurt's open mouth.

"I fel sho shilly," Kurt said around the strawberry before he took the time to chew it.

"At least you look cute." Kurt ignored the comment. "My turn."

"Get your own strawberry."

"Princess, you're ruining the mood." Kurt sighed.

"You're incorrigible, you know that?"

"I have absolutely no idea what that means."

"Neanderthal."

"Neanderthal's aren't developed enough to have romantic picnics and feed their boyfriends chocolate-covered strawberries."

"Once again, nice try, but I'm not feeding you the strawberry."

"Sure you're not."

"You're obnoxious."

"If you really thought that, you wouldn't be here." Puck was grinning after the little exchange ended, thinking he had won the argument since Kurt didn't say anything, and he was suddenly very surprised to find a strawberry in his mouth "Wha-"

"I figured that may be the only way to shut you up."

"I can think of some better ways."

"Nice try. Again."

"Tiramisu?"

"Yes, please. I swear, you're trying to get me fat so you have an excuse not to date me."

"I've dated fat chicks."

"You're so charming."

* * *

><p>By the time they had been in Noah's backyard for an hour, all of the chocolate-covered strawberries were gone (and Noah had continued to insist they feed them to each other) and Kurt had eaten most of the tiramisu by himself, only managing to convince Noah to try one piece. He had eaten the rest after that.<p>

"So. How's this going?" Noah was surprisingly the one to ask. They were lying down on the blanket, staring up at the stars, and Noah's arm was wrapped around Kurt's shoulders again. He didn't terribly mind.

"You tell me."

"_Princess_."

Kurt sighed. "Noah, this date has been... amazing-"

"Noah?"

"Isn't that your name? Or do I have the wrong guy?"

"Sometimes you're a lot like a chick, princess."

"I'll ignore that because you bought tiramisu."

"I knew that was a good idea."

"Anyway," Kurt broke off their banter to continue the serious conversation, "this date has been wonderful, but there's a whole dam of history screaming in the back of my head to be remembered: all the women, picking on losers, Beth, how you broke my heart..." Kurt sighed. "I don't know if I can forget all of that."

"I'm not asking you to," Noah replied, sounding rather casual for the conversation they were having. "I'm asking you to realize that I've changed and I can actually be a good guy, that I'm not that asshole who used to throw you in dumpsters sophomore year."

"That wasn't that long ago, Puck."

"So now it's back to Puck?" Noah asked, sitting up angrily and pulling his arm away. "I'm tired of jumping through hoops, princess, just tell me what I have to do to please you."

"I don't know!" Kurt said, sitting up as well. "Prove to me that you're not the same person."

"Fine!" Noah practically yelled. He grabbed his coat off the edge of the blanket and pulled a piece of paper out of its pocket. "Do you know what this is?"

"No," Kurt answered, and all he got in reply was the piece of paper stuffed in his hand. It was a whole list of names, Quinn, Santana, Brittany... _May_ Pierce? That was Brittany's mom... oh no. "Puck, I don't want to see this," Kurt said, shoving the piece of paper back into Noah's hand in disgust. "I don't want to be reminded of everyone you've screwed." Kurt wrinkled his nose as he said it, not out of embarrassment but out of disgust. He looked over to see Noah's reaction, but he was fumbling for something else in his coat. Kurt almost shrieked in a not-very-manly way when he saw fire flash up. "Is that a lighter?" Kurt demanded, because he didn't think Noah smoked.

"I don't smoke, princess, I just like camping," Noah said as if he was reading Kurt's mind. Before Kurt could comment, he held the flame to the edge of the list, setting it on fire.

"Noah, that's going to burn your fingers, and _don't_ throw it anywhere, you'll start a forest fire!" Kurt admonished, because Noah hadn't really thought that through.

"I'll stomp it out, princess," Noah said stubbornly, and he waited until the paper was almost burning his fingers to throw it on the grass by their blanket and stomp it out. "There. List gone."

"I think you stole that from Barney Stinson."

"That was the Playbook."

"Whatever."

"I'm a different guy now, princess," Noah said, looking at the stomped-on and burned list still partially under his sneaker. "Give me a chance."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Cliffhanger! Hahahahaha. I'm not going to tell you what Kurt's answer is :D**

** Sorry. I've had this done to me so many times by other authors, I'm excited to do so myself. I also have to apologize that this chapter is so late, but I was really uninspired by this story until lately. So, yeah. Better to have good writing later than crappy writing earlier, right? RIGHT?! Oh, and Barbara Palvin is a Victoria's Secret model, for anyone that was wondering.**

**Ahem. Sorry. So, songs used/mentioned/implied:  
><strong>'_Alive With the Glory of Love_' by Say Anything  
>'<em>Live Like We're Dying<em>' by Kris Allen (implied)  
>'<em>Accidentally in Love<em>' by Counting Crows (implied)  
>*'<em>The Remedy<em>' by Jason Mraz (not technically mentioned, but part of the 30:13 of music before Say Anything)  
>'<em>(Kissed You) Good Night<em>' by Gloriana (implied)  
>'<em>For the First Time<em>' by The Script (implied)  
>'<em>A Twist in My Story<em>' by Secondhand Serenade (implied)  
>'<em>That's Beautiful to Me<em>' by Jaron and the Long Road to Love  
>'<em>In Your Eyes<em>' by Peter Gabriel (mentioned)

**Reviews are Love. And tend to make me a little less evil about cliffhangers.**


	27. Romantic Probation

"How was your date with Puck?" Finn asked as soon as his little bro came back home. Kurt was still in the pajamas he had brought over, it was about midnight, and Kurt looked tired. Not happy, not sad, just tired.

"Fine," was Kurt's terse answer, and what had Puck done?

"Anything interesting happen?" he asked, because it sounded like Puck had screwed up majorly. Somehow.

"Nothing of note," Kurt said casually, coming over to sit next to Finn on the couch. The baritone was surprised, he had expected Kurt to run upstairs like he did when he was upset. Maybe Puck hadn't actually screwed up too badly. "What are you watching?"

"Top Gun," Finn replied, because he had taken advantage of the empty house to watch the best movie ever, which Kurt happened to hate.

"Isn't this movie where you and Noah got your 'bro code?'" Kurt asked, and he sounded kind of (what was that word?) disdained? But Finn was focusing on what Kurt had said. He called Puck 'Noah,' which was weird, but was also a good sign.

"Kind of," Finn answered. Yeah, they both loved Top Gun, but the bro code wasn't from this movie.

"I've never seen it," Kurt muttered, and it sounded kind of like he was talking to himself.

"You gonna watch it now?" Finn asked, because this was definitely a rare opportunity.

"Why not?" Kurt replied with a barely convincing smile. "I have to make a phone call first though." Kurt stood up, headed for the kitchen. "You want popcorn?"

"Hell yeah!" Okay, what was up with Kurt? He never voluntarily made Finn food, unless there was something in it for him.

Finn could hear Kurt pulling out a pan (because he actually popped his own kernels, without the microwave or anything!) and he had just started hearing the popping when he heard Kurt's voice.

"Hey." A long pause. "Yeah, I know it's late and I'm sorry." An even longer pause. "No, Chandler this isn't about-" Kurt sounded annoyed and there was some more silence. "Stop calling me sweetheart," Kurt snapped, "or baby," he sounded really angry, "or whatever other asinine pet name you've come up with for me!" Silence. "No, Chandler, I'm not your 'babe,' and I never have been! What don't you get about this?" A short pause. "No, I don't want to meet up and talk about our issues, I-" Another short pause. "Chandler, I'm sorry." Dead silence that even felt heavy in the living room. "Yes. Yes. No. Chandler, I-" A click. "Fuck."

The popcorn had stopped popping a bit ago, and Kurt came into the living with a bowl of it (it looked like that organic jalapeño stuff, which was surprisingly delicious), without a comment.

"I've never heard you swear before," Finn said, entirely serious but trying to lighten the mood.

"You've never met Chandler," Kurt replied with just a hint of ice in his voice. It didn't sound like he was teasing.

"So, are you two..." Finn made a throat-slit gesture, because he had no idea what they had been in the first place.

"Chandler and I or Noah and I?" Kurt asked, and he sounded amused. He knew Finn really cared about only one.

"Either."

"Yes and no," Finn was about to yell at him for being ambig.. ambi... confusing, but then Kurt quirked the side of his mouth up in a smile and added, "respectively."

"Oh. Cool."

"And here is your popcorn, Señor Eloquence," Kurt said, and his voice sounded teasing until he got to the name, then he frowned.

Finn got twenty minutes into Top Gun before he had to know. "What happened on your date?"

"None of your business, Finn," was Kurt's quiet answer, and maybe he really didn't want to talk about it.

"Are you okay?" Finn asked, because yeah, that probably should have been his first question.

"Yes," Kurt answered eventually with a sigh, and it didn't around super convincing.

"It'll be okay, dude." Finn wrapped an arm around his little brother.

"Don't call me dude," Kurt said with no sting, kind of cuddling into Finn's side, and it _wasn't weird_.

"Sorry."

"Thank you."

"No problem."

"Isn't this too gay for you?"

"Shut up."

* * *

><p>By the time the movie was over, Kurt was fast asleep, curled into Finn's side and snoring a little bit (not that he would ever tell Kurt that. It would be the last thing he ever did). Kurt looked so cozy and relaxed that Finn didn't really want to wake him up, but there was no way Finn would be able to sleep like that, and he couldn't readjust without waking Kurt up anyway.<p>

"Dude, wake up," Finn said, shaking Kurt gently. "Come on, you've gotta go upstairs."

"Five more minutes, Noah," Kurt murmured sleepily, and he seemed to be making no attempt to wake up.

"I'm just gonna ignore that," Finn muttered, mostly to himself. "Come on, Kurt, wake up. I can't carry you, dude." Well, actually, he probably could. Kurt didn't weigh that much.

Even in his sleep, Kurt's immediate response was, "Don't call me dude." He still wasn't awake though.

"You're lucky you're my little bro," Finn muttered, once again to himself, because it was obvious that Kurt wasn't listening.

Even when Finn stood up, Kurt didn't wake up, just slumping onto the couch. Finn was really tempted to just leave him there, but it didn't look comfortable, and he didn't want to deal with a cranky Kurt in the morning.

"One last chance to wake up," he said to the once-again snoring Kurt. No reaction. "Didn't think so."

Finn picked Kurt up bridal-style, and yeah, he'd been right. Kurt didn't weigh anything. "That can't be healthy," he muttered as he carried Kurt (who was starting to cling to him in his sleep) out of the living room and up the stairs.

* * *

><p>Because Kurt was absolutely pathetic, the first thing he thought about when he woke up (surprisingly in his bed. He didn't remember walking up the stairs) was Puck. He wasn't sure if he regretted his decision, but the pit of his stomach was having quite an argument with his brain.<p>

Yes, the date with Noah had been admittedly amazing, romantic and sweet and completely beyond what Kurt had expected from Noah. However, one date, no matter how amazing, couldn't make up for everything that had happened with Noah over the past few months, since Blaine broke up with him. The weird part was that thinking about Blaine, his relationship with Blaine, or the brutal way Blaine broke up with him didn't hurt anymore, and that was in a large part because of Noah. Even though Noah drove Kurt absolutely insane, he had helped the countertenor, maybe just as much as he had hurt him.

These were all of the thoughts that occurred to Kurt in the few seconds separating the moment Puck had asked him for one more chance, and the moment he had to come up with a reply, having no way of knowing what the result of each answer would be.

* * *

><p><em>"I..." Kurt's mind was completely blank. He had no answer to Noah's question. "Your list is smoldering still," he tried to deflect, but Noah ignored him completely and kneeled on the blanket next to him.<em>

_ "Kurt, please. I know I've fucked up more than I ever thought possible, but I'm completely crazy abut you. Like, ridiculous, gay, head-over-heels type sappiness. Please, Kurt."_

_ "Noah, I don't know." It was the closest Kurt could give to an honest answer, and Noah's face fell. "I really don't know. If I were as crazy as Rachel, I would have a frickin' pros and cons chart, and I have a feeling the columns would be perfectly even."_

_ "Well, thank God you're not as crazy as Rachel," Noah said, and Kurt decided to ignore the hint of sarcasm in his tone. No one could match Rachel for craziness._

_ "I'm sorry, Noah, but I can't answer that."_

_ Noah sighed, rubbing his hand through his mohawk. "Yeah, I kind of figured." He sat down, and the silence suddenly became _extremely_ uncomfortable._

_ "Maybe I should go," Kurt said hesitantly, torn once again between what he wanted Noah's response to be. Thankfully, that wasn't a decision he actually had to make._

_ "Yeah, maybe you should," Noah agreed, and now he was the one being a little bit cold._

_ "Goodnight, Noah," Kurt said, standing up and leaving. He didn't bother with his clothes (which were still in Noah's bathroom) or the chocolates he had left on the couch. AT the time, he didn't even remember their existences._

* * *

><p>Kurt rolled over with a sigh when his phone started buzzing frantically, glad something was distracting him from his inability to make a decision about Noah. He hadn't known what to say then, and he didn't know what to say now. Hopefully, it wasn't Noah.<p>

It wasn't. It was the one person he wanted to hear from less at... Kurt looked over at the clock, six o'clock in the morning.

It was Rachel.

"_Gleemergency!_" she announced, and Kurt groaned. Anything that involved Glee and Rachel making up words couldn't be good.

"Rachel, what could possibly so important this early in the morning?" he demanded of the crazy girl on the end of the line.

"_Gleemergency_!" she repeated unhelpfully. "_I'm gathering everyone at my house right now! Make sure you bring Finn!_" She hung up, and Kurt was tempted to roll over and go back to bed, but he knew if he ignored her he would never hear the end of it.

"She can't even be bothered to call her own damn boyfriend," Kurt murmured to himself as he got out of bed. Knowing Rachel, she wanted everyone there in five minutes and would give him absolutely no time to make himself presentable. Kurt sighed. Hairspray and make-up. Those were the essentials. His moisturizing routine could wait.

Once Kurt was mildly presentable, it was his job to wake up his bear of a brother. Finn didn't enjoy mornings, as a general rule, and he probably wouldn't be happy to hear that Kurt was waking him up due to his girlfriend's craziness. That just made everything doubly worse. At least Finn didn't have to hear Rachel's screechy voice. The girl was a beautiful singer, but her speaking voice made Kurt want to plug his ears with... screw it, it was too early even for dramatic metaphors.

Of course... there was one sure fire way to wake Finn up...

* * *

><p>"<em>Not<em> cool, dude," Finn was still complaining as they pulled out of the driveway in the Navigator and headed for Rachel's house.

"It was the only way I could think of to wake you up, oh Brother Bear," Kurt said with a roll of his eyes. Finn had been complaining since Kurt had dragged him out of bed.

"Like you're such a morning person," Finn grumbled. Kurt shrugged. He didn't say he was a hypocrite. "I can't believe you threw water on me! Like... ninety-nine percent of it ended up on my junk, y'know," Finn continued to complain.

"I'm sure Rachel will thank me for that," Kurt said dryly, and it was at that point Finn stopped grumbling. Thankfully, the drive to Rachel's house wasn't too long. "Did you carry me upstairs last night?" Kurt asked, because he had to know. He had never been so tired that he forgot going to bed, not even during the deepest funk the New Directions had suffered together.

Finn didn't seem bothered by the question. "Yeah. You seemed kind of down earlier, and it was impossible to wake you up. Trust me, I tried. And _I_ didn't throw _water_ on you!" So much for Finn not grumbling.

"Thank you, Finn," Kurt said quietly, because no, it probably wasn't terribly difficult for Finn to lift him, but it meant a lot that he had been willing to carry Kurt up the stairs.

"Don't mention it, bro," Finn said, and when Kurt's eyes flickered over to him (and his tires didn't move an _inch_), he was smiling that slightly crooked smile that had made Kurt do a million idiotic things in the past.

* * *

><p>They definitely weren't the last of the New Directions to be there. Rachel was leading the room, the only crazy person standing, and she had dragged Sam up to the front with her for some reason. Santana and Brittany were piled on a love seat, Quinn, Tina, and Mercedes were all on the couch, and Mike was sitting on the floor in front of the love seat. There was no sign of Artie (who usually took a while to get places because he had to be loaded in and out of the car... if he was even coming) or Noah. Kurt was kind of glad about the latter.<p>

"Finn, Kurt, you could have tried to be a little bit punctual," Rachel said with a disapproving frown.

"He woke me up like ten minutes ago!" Finn objected as he walked up to Rachel, which was true.

Finn leaned down to give her a kiss (which earned a variety of sound effects from the audience, from 'wanky' to whip sounds to fake-gagging), and Rachel pushed him away with the clear objection of, "Morning breath, Finn!" as she directed him towards one of the dining room chairs she had dragged in to make room.

"It is true that Finn is not to blame for our tardiness," Kurt said as Quinn, Tina, and Mercedes wiggled to try to make room for him, but he settled in the arm chair near Rachel instead. "_This_," he gestured to himself, "takes time. Unlike... _that_," he said, pointing to her rather bedraggled appearance and making Santana laugh.

"I swear to God, Berry," she said once she had composed herself, "if this damn meeting is about Nationals, I'm going to go all Lima Heights Adjacent on your ass. We lost because of _your_ desire to make out with soft serve over there, and we'll fix it next year by not being so dependent on your screeches for my trophy." Everything was 'we' up until Santana reached the trophy.

"While I object to the blame being placed solely on me, I do admire your determination to win Nationals next year. However, this meeting is not regarding our current competitive status. Sam, tell them what you just told me." Rachel sounded very much like a put-upon mother. It was a new form of annoyance, even for her.

"My dad got a good-paying job," everyone started cheering (it was good news), but Sam wasn't done yet, "in Kentucky." Silence. "We'll be moving as soon as my parents can find and buy a new house, which could be a little bit but definitely won't be all summer."

"Sam... we need you," was Tina's quiet comment. The only one who didn't look surprised was Mercedes, and if she hadn't already known, Kurt probably would have punched Sam.

"I don't want to leave you guys either, but this is really my family's only option," Sam sounded distraught, and Kurt couldn't blame him.

"My proposed solution," Rachel said, interrupting the quiet, sentimental moment with her loud, obnoxious optimism, "was that while this is an excellent option for Sam's family, it may not be an excellent option for Sam. My fathers are more than willing to provide him with lodgings and an alternate address so that he may remain at McKinley."

"You want Sam to live _here_?" Mercedes asked with a raised eyebrow, and Kurt knew that definitely wasn't jealousy. Living with Rachel would be hell for anyone (even Finn), but it would be even worse for someone as nice as Sam. He would never tell her to shut up, and she subsequently never would.

"Mercedes, I have a boyfriend."

"That's not my concern, white girl."

"My concern, as usual, with this particular crazy white girl is that she seems to think she's so much better than the rest of us, even though _she's_ the one who destroyed our chance for Nationals."

"Santana-" Finn began to say calmly, but there was absolutely no way he could prevent this fight. It had been coming for a long time, and he didn't have any control over Santana. Rachel, yes. Mercedes, maybe. Santana... _hell no_.

"Sorry I'm late," the one person who had any sway over Santana's irrational emotions said as he walked into the room. Everyone turned to look at him, and for a moment, it looked like Santana's wrath towards Rachel was about to turn on him... but her face softened for a moment, and she quieted.

"You look like shit," Quinn said simply, because it was true. Noah wasn't looking so great. He hadn't shaved, he was still wearing the pajamas he had donned for their picnic, and there were bags under his eyes that gave the impression he hadn't slept for weeks. Kurt looked away. That was his fault.

"Rough morning," was all Noah said. "What's going on here?"

"Santana's threatening to kill Rachel again," Quinn replied with a roll of her eyes, successfully scooting over on the already-crowded couch to make room for Noah. "Nothing out of the ordinary."

"Bitch is stealing my spotlight," Santana muttered, but she sat back down.

"What if Sam stayed with us?" Finn said suddenly, probably the only person in the room who was actually still focused on Rachel's 'Gleemergency'.

"Define 'us,'" Rachel said with a raised eyebrow. Apparently, she interpreted that as Finn inviting himself to move into her house as well.

"My brother and myself," Kurt replied for Finn, who looked confused by the question.

"We should probably ask Mom and Burt though." Kurt rolled his eyes at his step-brother. Clearly, he had never learned only-child manipulation.

"Your mother's too nice for her own good, and between my pout and Carole's attempts at persuasion, Dad won't be able to say no." Really, how did Finn not know this?

"You guys would seriously let me stay at your house?" Sam asked, and he sounded surprised.

"Of course, Sam," Kurt said with a smile that he hoped didn't look suggestive. "We definitely want to keep you around." Okay, he really needed to stop talking.

"Thanks, man," Sam said with a grin, striding over to give Kurt an awkward standing-sitting hug and then settling in the dining chair next to him.

"Since my first proposal has been... amended," Rachel said with a touch of bitterness. Why did she want Sam living at her house anyway? Just to seem like the perfect, selfless leader of the New Directions? They all knew she wasn't that. "I have a second proposal."

"If it's that we all bow to you, you can cram it up your ass," Santana muttered under her breath, but thankfully Rachel didn't hear her.

"Summer rehearsals!" Rachel's cheerily-presented idea was met with a unanimous groan. "Santana says that you all blame me for our loss, but commendable placement, at Nationals. Fine. I'm trying to do something to ensure there isn't a repeat incident."

"Rachel's right," Finn said, standing up to stand beside her, and everyone groaned for an entirely different reason. Once Finn got it in his mind that Rachel was right, he would use his deadly combination of charm and an ability to read people to convince everyone else. And they would all fall for it eventually.

"When do you propose we have these summer practices?" Tina demanded, standing up. Apparently, standing up was the automatic gesture of indignantly joining the conversation. "Some of us have jobs." Kurt really should work in the shop more. Preferably whenever these rehearsals were going on.

"Everyone can submit their known schedules, and I will plan accordingly!" Rachel said with a bright smile, and with Finn to back her up, no one wasted the time arguing. Dammit.

"Fine," Tina grumbled, sitting back down.

"Excellent," Rachel said with a big, camera-ready smile, clapping her hands together. As a reward for helping her, she gave Finn a quick peck that barely even counted, and then ducked off into the kitchen, saying she would make cocoa and pancakes. At least she knew how to bribe the people angry with her.

"Why such a rough morning?" Quinn asked Puck gently, and Kurt _wasn't _eavesdropping. He was just listening. He couldn't exactly turn his ears off. Besides, Santana was listening too.

"Couldn't sleep," Noah replied abstractly. The pit of Kurt's stomach, rather than feeling conflicted, was starting to feel extremely guilty.

"I know you had a date with Kurt last night," Quinn said, but she was still using that soft, gentle tone, like Noah was some sort of scared animal.

"It's official. Women never talk about what you want them to talk about." Kurt smiled at that, remembering what Noah was thinking of.

"Pardon?"

"When did he tell you?"

"Tuesday."

"Great."

"Maybe the date would have gone better if you didn't keep calling him a woman."

"He spends time with you crazies, he deserves to be grouped with you." That had stopped offending Kurt a long time ago. He had called himself an honorary girl on several occasions.

"He broke up with Chandler." Kurt's head whipped around without his permission, and Santana, seeing the motion and also not-eavesdropping, started snickering.

"When?"

"Last night. Or... early this morning, I guess."

"Did he tell you that?"

"No," Quinn said with a quiet laugh. "I actually got a very angry drunk call from Chandler early this morning. He was hurling insults at Kurt that were... incoherent, to say the least, and even that was more pleasant than waking up to Rachel's voice." Quinn was obviously joking, but considering the conversation, it wasn't really funny. "I must have given him my number when Rachel and I crashed that date. It's a little... blurry."

"I wasn't asleep." Now Kurt felt _extremely_ guilty. Maybe getting a 'maybe' was worse than getting a 'no.' A 'no' was final, there was nothing that could be done. A 'maybe' was like being put on... Kurt suddenly had a brilliant idea. He just needed to get Noah alone.

"I'm sorry, Noah. What happened?" Quinn was nosy.

"None of your business," Noah said brusquely as Rachel brought in the first batch of cocoa.

"Since we're all gathered already, with the exception of Artie, who has an excused absence since his father is at work," who worked that early in the morning? "I was thinking our first rehearsal could be right now." That statement was also met by a groan, but it didn't seem to faze Rachel. "It will be very informal, with pancakes and cocoa for everyone, but in the spirit of the New Directions, there will be a theme."

"She's slowly morphing into Mr. Schuester. Their wardrobes are equally abysmal already, soon their song selections will sync up," Santana leaned over the edge of the chair to mutter this to Kurt, who tried his best not to laugh. Hopefully, Rachel would still have good taste in music after running the Glee club for a little bit (and since she had Finn's support, she was essentially the dictator of the New Directions).

"Our theme for today, which is the only theme I could think of that didn't require any preparation, is _pop music_," Rachel said cheerily. Kurt randomly thought that Blaine would have loved this assignment. Him and his Katy Perry obsession. "I would like to start us off with Alicia Keys' _Fallin'_-"

"How about you shut your trap about Lumps the Clown, go make pancakes, and let some more talented people sing," Santana said as she plugged her iPod into Rachel's speaker. She had been slowly approaching it as Rachel talked, clearly having planned this takeover. The music started playing before Rachel could reply, and she left the room in a huff.

_Puttin' my defenses up  
><em>_'Cause I don't wanna fall in love  
><em>_If I ever did that  
><em>_I think I'd have a heart attack_

_Never put my love out on the line  
><em>_Never said yes to the right 'guy'  
><em>_Never had trouble getting what I want  
><em>_But when it comes to you, I'm never good enough_

Santana put literal air quotes around 'guy' even though Kurt was willing to bet his entire wardrobe that at the end of the song she would claim it wasn't about Brittany. Those two really needed to figure themselves out.

_When I don't care  
><em>_I can play 'em like a Ken doll  
><em>_Won't wash my hair  
><em>_Then make 'em bounce like a basketball_

_But you make me wanna act like a girl  
><em>_Paint my nails and wear high heels  
><em>_Yes, you make me so nervous  
><em>_That I just can't hold your hand_

There were a few snickers at those lines, because while Santana *was* capable of getting anyone she wanted without any effort on her part, she was also the only other person Kurt knew (besides himself, of course) who was always immaculate. Her Cheerios uniform never had tears or stains, the pleats on her skirt were always perfect, her hair was always glossy, freshly washed and treated, her make-up was always perfect (if a little too... streetwalker for Kurt's tastes), and her nails were always freshly manicured. She was a goddess. Always. Plus, she and Brittany didn't hold hands. They linked pinkies.

_You make me glow, but I cover up  
><em>_Won't let it show, so I'm..._

Santana sounded a hundred times better belting it out than Demi Lovato had ever sounded in her life, and Rachel's head poked out of the kitchen in shock. Her sudden reappearances was met by hisses and quiet requests for the promised pancakes (they would have been yelled requests, but everyone was too scared of Santana).

_Puttin' my defenses up  
><em>_'Cause I don't wanna fall in love  
><em>_If I ever did that  
><em>_I think I'd have a heart attack  
><em>_I think I'd have a heart attack  
><em>_I think I'd have a heart attack_

_Never break a sweat for the other guys  
><em>_When you come around, I get paralyzed  
><em>_And every time I try to be myself  
><em>_It comes out wrong like a cry for help_

_It's just not fair  
><em>_Pain's more trouble than love is worth  
><em>_I gasp for air  
><em>_It feels so good, but you know it hurts_

_But you make me wanna act like a girl  
><em>_Paint my nails and wear perfume for you  
><em>_Make me so nervous  
><em>_That I just can't hold your hand_

_You make me glow, but I cover up  
><em>_Won't let it show, so I'm..._

_Puttin' my defenses up  
><em>_'Cause I don't wanna fall in love  
><em>_If I ever did that  
><em>_I think I'd have a heart attack  
><em>_I think I'd have a heart attack  
><em>_I think I'd have a heart attack_

_The feelings are lost in my lungs  
><em>_They're burning, I'd rather be numb  
><em>_And there's no one else to blame  
><em>_So scared I take off and I run  
><em>_I'm flying too close to the sun  
><em>_And I burst into flames_

_You make me glow, but I cover up  
><em>_Won't let it show, so I'm..._

_Puttin' my defenses up  
><em>_'Cause I don't wanna fall in love  
><em>_If I ever did that  
><em>_I think I'd have a heart attack  
><em>_I think I'd have a heart attack  
><em>_I think I'd have a heart attack  
><em>_I think I'd have a heart attack  
><em>_I think I'd have a heart attack_

Santana's performance was amazing (she really was incredibly talented), but Kurt had a feeling the cheers were more related to the giant stack of pancakes that Rachel brought out almost _exactly_ when she was done. Jealous much, Berry?

"Now that I'm sure everyone will have their fill of pancakes, can I _please_ sing?" It wasn't like Rachel to ask, but Kurt then realized that first of all, Santana was between Rachel and the iPod speaker, and with no Mr. Schuester around, they could boss Rachel around just by talking over her or telling her to shut up. Clearly she had realized these things too, and these summer rehearsals were going to be _fun_.

Especially because everyone answered with a resounding 'no!'

* * *

><p>Noah had been one of the first people out of the impromptu Glee rehearsal (which really hadn't ended up being much of a rehearsal at all. Santana had been the only one who sang, and it ended when all the pancakes were eaten, despite Rachel's pitiful attempts at protesting), so Kurt hadn't gotten the chance to corner him and tell him he had made a kind of decision. Even if it wasn't the definite one that Noah wanted.<p>

Kurt had definitely learned a few lessons in the past few months. The first was if something important had happened that they needed to talk about, _never_ let too much time pass. If too much time passes, Quinn gets involved, and she brings along Rachel, who tells Finn everything, who tries 'bro-ventions' because he had been watching too much 'How I Met Your Mother' lately... the point was, it never ended well if other people started addressing the problem before its creator got a chance. So, Kurt followed Puck home, and he wasn't in the least bit surprised to see that he wasn't the only person doing so. Quinn followed him following Noah all the way to Noah's house. Noah was significantly ahead of both of them, so he was in the house by the time both of them pulled up in the driveway.

Kurt got out first, planning to head into the house and shut the door in Quinn's face (not that he didn't like Quinn, but she had a habit of making bad situations much, _much_ worse. However, his plans were foiled when Quinn grabbed onto the bag of his shirt and tugged. Hard. If he had pulled against her grip, he would have ripped his shirt. And that was not acceptable. And she knew that. Bitch.

"What happened?" she demanded of him, still with a firm grasp on the fabric of the back of his shirt.

"Release my clothing, and I will talk to you," Kurt said, and Quinn rolled her eyes, muttering something under her breath about materialism.

"What happened on your date? There have only been a few times that I've seen Puck that upset, and one of them was when I signed off the paper for Beth." Nobody really knew if that was the name the parents who adopted her had decided to keep, but that's what they all called her anyway. "Did you tell him I told you about his crush on Finn and basketball camp?"

"Yes," Kurt admitted, fearing for his clothes, "but that was when the date was going well, and he didn't seem too upset."

"What do you mean 'when the date was going well?'' Quinn asked with a raised eyebrow.

"It didn't end well. And I'm not going to tell you why until you let me go in there and talk to him. I love you dearly, Quinn, but you can't help with this. This is between Noah and I, and we're perfectly capable of talking about this like adults."

"I would believe you if I didn't know you," Quinn said, but her sigh sounded resigned. "Be careful, okay? I know Puck likes to play the badass, but he's not like that all the time. Not with everyone." These were starting to sound a lot like the warnings everyone had given him when he first started liking Noah, back when he was denying it to everyone, including himself.

"I know," was all Kurt said, and Quinn headed back for her car. By the time Kurt reached Noah's front door, she was pulling out of the driveway, but she was waited at the bottom. Probably waiting for him to gather up the courage to knock. She knew him too well.

* * *

><p>The knock on the door was Quinn, he knew it, and he was really considering not answering. Not that Quinn would really believe that he wasn't home, but maybe, eventually, she would get the hint and go away. Or his neighbors would hear her pounding at the door and screaming, think she was being held hostage, and call the cops. Because that was what crazy people did.<p>

Puck rolled his eyes and prepared himself for a long conversation about feelings and crap as he opened the door, not bothering with the chain and trusting it was Quinn. He _so_ wasn't in the mood to have this conversation.

"What do you..." the rest of Puck's sharp question died in his throat. It wasn't Quinn. It was Kurt. Quinn's car wasn't even in the driveway. He had to start giving that girl more credit.

"Hi," was all Kurt said, and he had taken a step back at the harsh tone of Puck's voice. Crap.

"Uh, hey. Come in." This was the first time that Kurt had showed up when he hadn't expected it that it actually inconvenienced him, but he definitely couldn't tell Kurt to go away. "Sarah, this is Kurt," he said to his sister, who was curled up on the couch with toast and ginger ale and watching... what the hell was she watching? Disney got weirder and weirder every year. Puck had to double check to make sure it was really Disney, but there were mouse ears in the corner. "Kurt and I are going to go upstairs, but you call if you need anything, okay?"

"'Kay," Sarah muttered, so covered up in blankets it was amazing that she could actually talk through them.

"Is your sister okay?" Kurt asked as they headed up the stairs.

"She's got the flu, I think," Puck said, running his hand through his mohawk as he kicked open the door to his room... which was completely messy and smelled repulsively of B.O. Awesome. "Sorry. I wouldn't bring you up here, but Sarah's not good with strangers and I don't want you to get sick."

"It's fine," Kurt said, sitting down in Puck's desk chair and peering curiously at the ancient computer on his desk. "I live with Finn, remember? Unless you have rats, your room can't possibly be worse than his." Thank G-d for his bro sometimes.

"Pig." Puck's comment made Kurt smile. "I'm sorry for the room and the..." he gestured at his stubble and generally unwashed appearance. "I was up all night taking care of Sarah. She was at a friend's house, but she got sick, so I had to go get her and bring her home. She's a little better now, hopefully she'll get some sleep."

"Hopefully so will you," Kurt said with a gentle smile. "It's nice how much you care about your sister."

"She's been through a lot," Puck muttered.

"So have you." Okay, this probably was _not_ what Kurt wanted to talk about. "So that's what you meant when you said it had been a rough morning?" the countertenor asked, and what had Kurt thought he meant?

"Yeah. Sorry to say I wasn't up all night hopelessly pining over you." That made him sound like Lame, who was someone he never wanted to be like. Even if Kurt had loved Lame. And Puck still questioned it.

"Good." Well that wasn't the answer he had been expecting. "I was feeling guilty that you were losing sleep over me."

"Don't." Puck was tempted to ask why Kurt had followed him home, but if Kurt was just looking for his company, he definitely wasn't going to argue.

"I'm guessing what you asked last night and what my answer was did at least briefly cross your mind?" See, that was a little more like what he had expected.

"Yeah, I told Sarah a cleaned-up version as a bedtime story where two wizards ended up together. I think I confused the crap out of her though." Kurt cracked up laughing, and Puck grinned. Yeah, that had been intentional.

"I hope you cleaned it up enough for your sister," Kurt said with a bright smile, and this was nice. Really nice. Much nicer than the stilted conversation at the beginning and end of their date.

"She's a big girl," Puck said with a shrug. "Plus, she was kind of delirious. But talking to her helps me think, you know?"

"Yeah, I bet." Kurt didn't say anything further. "I have a new answer."

"Oh?" Puck's heart, possibly the sappiest part of him at the moment, kind of had a spaz attack, and he resisted the urge to roll his eyes at himself.

"I'm willing to give you one more chance, but you're on romantic probation." Puck stared at his semi-boyfriend for a long minute.

"Let me guess. This is a 'yes' with conditions?"

"Romantic probation sounds better."

"Whatever. Lay 'em on me, princess."

"Criminal probation usually has some standard conditions: performing community service, meeting with your probation officer, refraining from using illegal drugs or excessive alcohol, avoiding certain people or places, and appearing in court at requested times-"

"This is starting to sound like a Rachel-speech."

"That seems to be your go-to complaint, yet I distinctly recall that you've made out with Rachel on two occasions." Puck didn't have anything to say to that. "Exactly. So, my conditions for romantic probation are along those lines. Condition number one: we are exclusive. _Extremely_ exclusive. No sexting, no flirting, nothing."

"I can do that." He kind of had been for the past few months anyway.

"Condition number two: not only will we be having a standard date night, ranging from informal to... last night," Kurt said with a smile. Yeah, he was a pretty awesome date-planner. "Anyway, besides date night, you will be expected to spend time with me and my friends."

"Crap."

"I know you've heard the Spice Girls song, Noah. _If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends_. And I _know_ you want to be with me, but convincing my friends you're committed isn't going to be easy."

"I'm guessing that's condition number three?"

"You know me too well. Condition number four: no partying unless it's with the New Directions, which means for the most part, no alcohol."

"I... yeah, that's fair." Puck was stupid enough sober, he didn't need to add booze. Plus, that gave him the perfect excuse not to go to the football parties that were always lame anyway.

"Condition number five: no sex."

"Cruel and unusual punishment."

"I'm serious, Puck." Kurt looked unimpressed by Puck's amusement. "I can't be constantly wondering if you're only with me for the physical aspect. Until you've convinced me that you want more than just sex, no sex."

"Fine." Did that mean...

"And I don't care what you do on your... own time," Kurt said with a slight blush, gesturing to his bed. "As long as you remember condition number one."

"Monogamy." Or monotony. Either one worked.

"Exactly." Kurt sighed. "Condition number six and seven are going to make me sound Rachel-crazy again."

"Lay it on me." At this point, Puck would do anything to be with Kurt. Anything.

"I'm not going to say I need to know where you are and who you're with at every moment of the day, but condition number six is that whenever I call you, you need to answer me, and condition number seven is that you need to be _honest_ with me. Even if I might not like the answer." That... was fairly crazy, but Puck certainly wasn't going to tell Kurt that.

"Is that it?"

"That's it."

"Then I have three conditions."

"Oh?" Kurt raised an eyebrow. No, he wasn't really in the position to be making demands, but one of them was reasonable, and the other two would make Kurt smile.

"Condition number one: we stop hiring bad mediators." Kurt grinned. "Seriously, between Rachel, Quinn, Santana, and Mercedes, I'm up to my ears in crazy women telling me how to run my life. That's what I have my mom for."

"I think you're overestimating exactly how much I can control their actions."

"Then we make a pact not to listen to them." That was what he had meant anyway.

"Agreed. That can be condition number eight."

"Condition number nine:" since they were clearly using Kurt's numbering, "I don't have to pin down my sexuality." Kurt raised both eyebrows this time. "Seriously. I'm fucking confused enough as it is, I don't want everyone asking me how long I've been wanting to bang dudes."

"Fair enough. As long as you're willing to admit that you're attracted to me, I don't care how you define yourself, or if you choose not to at all."

"You don't even want to hear how attracted I am to you," Puck teased, and Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Didn't you have one more condition?"

"Condition number ten: you're my boyfriend," Kurt's mouth fell into a perfect 'o'; Was it really that surprising? "and I'm yours. Everyone should know that, and I should get to tell everyone that has a problem with it to fuck off."

"I... I'm okay with that," Kurt said, a smile stretching across his face.

"So, I have one question about this whole... romantic probation thing."

"Yes?"

"Does-"

"Noah!" Crap. "Noah, I think I need a bucket."

"Crap," Puck said it out loud that time, grabbing his half-full trash can and racing downstairs just in time to give it to Sarah before she puked. He pulled back her hair, haphazardly braiding it so it wouldn't be in her way if she got sick again. "You okay, Munster?"

"I feel awful," Sarah said honestly, and Puck sighed. She had been doing so much better.

"I'll get you some more ginger ale." Puck headed off for the kitchen.

* * *

><p>Kurt didn't want to stay in Noah's room when he raced downstairs to take care of his sister, going down the stairs at full tilt and amazingly not crashing into the wall at the bottom of them. He could hear the sounds of retching as he headed downstairs, and he caught the tale end of Noah talking about ginger ale when he reached the first floor.<p>

Little Sarah was adorable, cocooned on the couch by her loving brother, her hair in an extremely messy braid, looking pale and a little green, but otherwise pretty content. At least, until she felt her head and rolled her eyes, starting to pull out the braid. "Noah has no idea how to do this," she said, and it took Kurt a second to realize that she was talking to him. "I know I'm not supposed to talk to Noah's special friends, but can you braid?"

"French, fishtail, or normal?" Kurt asked, approaching the couch and kneeling next to the little girls' head.

"French!" she exclaimed, obviously excited by the prospect. "My mommy can french-braid, but she doesn't do it very often."

"My mom taught me how to braid, too," Kurt said gently as he pulled out the braid Noah had put in carefully and started to meticulously braid Sarah's brown locks. "You have really pretty hair, Sarah."

"Thanks. You too." Kurt chuckled at that.

"Thank you." They sat in silence for a little bit as Kurt braided (where had Noah gone?) and since the silence was killing him, Kurt started humming.

"That's pretty," Sarah said, turning down the TV. "What is it?"

"_I Believe I Can Fly_," Kurt replied.

"I love that song! Sing to me?" Well, he certainly couldn't say no to a sick kid.

"_I believe I can fly. I believe I can touch the sky. I think about it every night and day, spread my wings and fly away. I believe I can soar. I see me running through that open door. I believe I can fly. I believe I can fly. I believe I can fly_." By the time Kurt was finishing the chorus, Sarah's eyelids were fluttering, and after a verse or two, she was asleep.

"I got... awesome," Puck said, his voice lowering so he wouldn't wake her up. "How did you do that?"

"I sang to her," Kurt said, using her elastic to tie off her new French braid.

"Smart. Come on." Puck ushered him out of the house, but it was still early, so the air was just pleasantly warm instead of overly hot. "Sorry she kind of crashed our conversation, but-"

"She's your sister and she's sick. I get it. Plus, I can understand why you love her so much. She's a sweetie pie." Though there was one thing she had mentioned... "Why did she say she isn't allowed to talk to your 'special friends?'" Noah made a face, which meant he had asked the right question.

"I... I know my favorite kind of girls aren't exactly the reputable kind, so I made Sarah promise she wouldn't talk to them. I don't want my sister to end up anything like them. I guess she just kind of assumed you were another 'special friend.'"

"That's sweet, though the fact that you recognize how sleazy those girls are, yet you sleep with them anyway, makes me question your judgment."

"Knowing it's a bad idea and that fact discouraging me are two different things," Noah said automatically, and Kurt rolled his eyes. "I need to tell you something." Noah's tone and expression were guilty.

"Oh?"

"I... After we got home from New York, and before I started sending you the roses," that gave this story about a two-week timeline, by Kurt's best estimation (his sense of time and date weren't quite as good during the summer), "I kind of... tried to get with a Cheerio." Kurt's vision went red.

Kurt turned around without waiting to hear the rest of the story. Of course Noah hadn't been serious, he had only come back to Kurt when he didn't have any other options. How stupid could he be?

"No, Kurt." Noah grabbed his sleeve, not pulling but just holding him there, walking around him so that he could finish the story of the slut that ended their relationship before it started. "I wanted to tell you this because I felt guilty, and it didn't, you know, happen."

"Not for lack of trying on your part, I'm sure," Kurt said, so angry he was shaking a little bit.

"You have no idea how funny that comment is, but I'm sure you will when you hear the rest of the story. I was kind of having an issue, because I felt guilty, and at first, I didn't even-"

"You have ten seconds to complete this story before I leave."

"I couldn't get it up," Noah completed, and yeah, Kurt could see the humor then.

"You... you're trying to tell me that you felt so guilty about trying to be with someone behind my back that you couldn't... perform?" Kurt raised an eyebrow. "Based on what I've heard from Santana, that's not an issue you have frequently."

"Never. That should mean something."

"So was this story told out of guilty conscience, or because you thought it would impress me?"

"Um... both." Noah sounded guilty again.

"Well, it's less than impressive, much like your performance with said skank," Noah snorted at that, taking it as the olive branch it was, "but thank you for being honest with me."

"No problem. Condition number seven, right?"

"You're going to memorize those aren't you? So whenever you do something right, you'll cite which condition you're satisfying."

"I would be doing a lot more satisfying if it weren't for condition number five, but yes."

"Because your track record with satisfying lately is excellent."

"That's just cold." Both off them were smiling, teasing, the banter so easy and natural. Kurt had missed this. "So, as I was saying before Sarah interrupted, I do have one question about this whole 'romantic probation' thing."

"Ask away."

"Am I allowed to kiss you?" That was a fair question, from Noah's perspective. From Kurt's, it was a stupid one.

"Maybe," was the reply he gave, and Noah grinned. He knew Kurt too well.

Noah let the hand that had been resting on Kurt's arm slide down to his waist, pulling him close enough to connect their lips. _God_, Kurt had missed this. Noah was an _incredible_ kisser, and when Noah's tongue flickered at his lips, he couldn't help deepening the kiss. He was only human.

Kurt pulled away only when oxygen was absolutely necessary, but he pushed Noah away when he tried to reconnect their lips. "I should get home. I didn't tell my father where I was going, so he's doubtlessly up and worrying."

"And I should go write down your conditions when I can still remember all of them," Noah teased. "Bye, babe." Noah gave him one more quick peck, and then headed into the house.

Kurt tried not to stereotypically press his fingers against his tingling lips, but he couldn't help it. That had felt _way_ too natural.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Ta-da! There's your answer. You guys thought I was going to flake out of answering at the beginning, didn't you? So, yeah. Romantic probation. Sorry this chapter took so long, but that idea didn't occur to me until the exact moment in the story that it occured to Kurt. So. My apologies. I also apologize for the short, awkward segmenting of this chapter, but I was too lazy to come up with better segues, and it would have gotten really long anyway.**

**Songs used/mentioned:  
><strong>'_Fallin'_' by Alicia Keys (mentioned)  
>'<em>Heart Attack<em>' by Demi Lovato  
>'<em>Wannabe<em>' by The Spice Girls  
>'<em>I Believe I Can Fly<em>' by R. Kelly

**Reviews are Love.**


	28. Shopping!

Kurt's idea for romantic probation was kind of... Rachel-ish, though his boyfriend would kill him for saying so, but it was totally something Puck could handle. He had been with a lot of crazy women, a crazy guy couldn't really be that much worse, could it?

Puck was lounging lazily on his couch, having just played a bit of Super Mario Brothers. Sarah was feeling much better after her little puking episode (she was upstairs, sleeping), and Puck was finally able to enjoy his summer. No more romantic drama (he could totally handle ten conditions. He'd had a lot more when he was with Santana, and some of those didn't even make sense), no more sick sisters, and hopefully, after the disaster (in Rachel's eyes) that was earlier in the morning, no more summer Glee rehearsals run by the craziest woman he had ever met. Life was good.

When his phone rang, he answered without picking it up, assuming it was Quinn (planning to ask him what was going on with Kurt) or 'Tana (still angry that he liked Kurt and looking for a little summer sex). He wasn't looking forward to talking to either of them.

"Hey, Noah."

"I'm at home on my couch and the only other person in the house is my sister," he answered automatically, making Kurt laugh.

"Six and seven, all in one. Very funny, but I didn't ask."

"Thought I'd offer." There was a sex joke there somewhere, but Puck was going to let it slide. It was too easy.

"You sound... well-rested." That was every crazy girl's way of asking what he had been doing without asking. Did Kurt really think those tricks were new?

"Yeah. Sarah's been taking a nap for about..." Puck checked the clock, "six hours, so I got some sleep too."

"Good." Kurt paused, just for a second. "Up for getting out of the house? Or is Sarah too sick still?"

"Can I go check on her and get back to you on that?"

"Sure," Kurt replied, and before Puck even got the chance to say goodbye, his boyfriend hung up. Puck rolled his eyes before he headed up the stairs to check on his little Munster.

"Sarah?" he whispered as he peered into her room. She was still under her covers, but Puck was wiling to bet that she wasn't asleep.

"What?" was the lovely reply he got from the girl he had been taking care of all day.

"How are you feeling?" he asked as he flicked on the lights, Sarah groaning at the sudden brightness.

"Content until you did that," Sarah replied. "I'm reading, go away."

"How can you read without light?" Puck asked. He secretly loved that his sister enjoyed reading for fun, that she was so smart and so ambitious.

A beam of light flashed up from underneath the covers, diminished by the overhead light he had turned on. "Flashlight, ding-dong."

"Since you're feeling good enough to be sassy," Puck said, not minding it from his sister the way he didn't mind it from Kurt, "do you mind if I go out for a while?"

"I'll be fine," Sarah answered, still sounding annoyed that Puck interrupted her.

"Call me if you need anything," Puck said as he went to close the door.

"Turn off the light!" Sarah yelled before he could leave, and he leaned back in her room to flick off the light he had turned on. "Noah?"

"Munster?"

"Are you going out with your latest special friend? The pretty one?" Well, at least Kurt had his sister's approval.

"Kurt?"

"Yeah."

"Yes."

"You should be nice to him. He braided my hair." Puck chuckled to himself. That was all Kurt really needed to do to earn Munster's seal of approval.

"I'm dating him, Sarah."

"He's a boy."

"I'm aware."

"Have you told Mom yet?" Well, technically, Mom had thought they were dating for... a while. Puck hadn't had the heart to tell her that they broke up.

"Kind of."

"Good luck." Sarah rolled over for a moment, just to look at him. She smiled, apparently satisfied with what she saw. "Go see your boyfriend, weirdo."

"Will do."

"And shave!" she called out after him before he closed the door. Rubbing a hand over his face, he concluded that shaving was probably a good idea.

* * *

><p>When he had called Kurt back, his boyfriend had requested that they meet at the mall, which was never a good thing. He had a feeling condition number three was about to come into play, and his stomach was rolling. Not that he was scared, or anything. No girls could intimidate the Puckasaurus, even crazy ones. Like Rachel, or Santana, or Quinn, or Mercedes, or... He was fucked, wasn't he?<p>

"Hey!" Kurt said brightly as soon as he saw Puck, and okay, his face lighting up in a smile kind of made it worth it. Even though the next few hours were going to be his own personal hell. As sappy as that sounded. Fuck.

"Hey," Puck said as he approached Kurt and the girls (all of them had showed up, even a slightly-annoyed looking Rachel. Lucky him). When he reached them, he felt like he was putting his life in Kurt's hands as he leaned down to give his boyfriend a soft kiss.

Kurt blushed brilliantly at the PDA, even though it wasn't really all that bad. When Puck pulled away, he scanned all of the girls' shocked faces, waiting for one to object.

Eventually, it was Mercedes who spoke first. "Aw, _hell_ to the no! White boy, what the hell are you thinking?"

Condition eight kind of dictated what Kurt was and wasn't allowed to say, but Puck knew the rules were mostly for him. He was the one with the collar on, Kurt was holding the leash.

"Wanky," Santana said as if she could read his mind, and when he looked over at her in surprise (she hadn't exactly been supportive of his feelings), she winked and looked down. When Puck followed her gaze, her pinky was linked with Brittany's. He had no idea what was going on with them (it had been a while since he and 'Tana talked), but anything that got her off his back was a good thing.

"Gross," someone muttered as they passed, and Puck felt his hands clench into fists. What right did he have to judge them?

Kurt gently took one of his clenched fists, peeling Puck's fingers away from his palm and twining them with his instead. "Noah. It's fine."

"What happened to condition number ten?" Puck growled, because he really did want to punch that guy's head in.

"If you ran around beating up everyone who had a problem with me in this town, you wouldn't have time to sleep," Kurt said calmly. "Just... try to ignore it."

"If you two are done being cute over there," Rachel said in the voice of hers that normally accompanied attempts at sass, "would someone _please_ explain to the rest of us what's going on here?"

"Noah wants to punch in the face of everyone who has a problem with us," Kurt said, being just a hint cheeky, and Puck could tell he was fighting a smile.

"White boy, I will cut you," Mercedes said, but it was an empty threat and everyone knew that.

"Merce, you know how much I love you, but this is _really_ none of your business." Mercedes' expression was so offended that for a moment Puck was worried she was gonna deck Kurt. "It really isn't any of your businesses," he continued, addressing all of the girls. Rachel, Quinn, and Mercedes looked angry, Tina looked amused with them, and Santana was more focused on Brittany, who looked confused.

"You two have been playing cat-and-mouse for months-" Quinn started.

"Who's the cat and who's the mouse?" Brittany asked Santana in a lost voice. Santana just smiled.

"That's _exactly_ what I was wondering!" Rachel broke into the beginning of Quinn's rant to start her own. "Not only did you break up with a perfectly nice and respectful man-"

"I wasn't the least bit interested in him romantically!" Kurt objected, but Rachel ignored him with practiced ease.

"But despite our best attempts to keep the two of you apart-"

"Weren't you all part of an elaborate plan in New York to get us back together?" Kurt asked, and apparently, that one got Rachel's attention.

"It was to get you back on speaking terms!" she argued hotly, and she was starting to yell. They were making a scene in front of the Lima Mall. It wouldn't be the first time, Puck guessed. "You two were doing a duet!" Rachel said, continuing her heated objection to Kurt's very true statement. "We needed you to cooperate for the Showcase!"

"I think you're a little off in your timeline, Rach," Kurt said, but he had stopped being mad. HIs voice was absolute ice and so were his eyes. It was actually pretty hot. "You were part- you were _all_ part of an elaborate plan to help Puck win me over, and now that he has, with some mild conditions, you're all against it? How hypocritical."

Kurt was truly a diva, and after his little speech, he linked arms with Tina and flounced into the mall, Santana and Brittany following, leaving all the angry women staring at Puck.

"I can't _believe_ you actually succeeded," Quinn said, and she sounded more surprised than angry. "I thought for sure Kurt was going to go in there and kick you ass."

"So you _were_ outside my house." So much for giving her more credit.

"Inconsequential," Rachel said, breaking into the conversation. Mercedes was still just glaring, apparently beyond speaking to him. "How did this happen?"

Puck grinned when he realized he had the perfect excuse. "Sorry, I can't talk to any of you about this. Condition number eight of my romantic probation." He winked at them and then followed his boyfriend into the mall before Rachel and Mercedes could freak out at him. Quinn followed.

"Romantic probation?"

"Not allowed to talk about it. Condition number eight: no more bad mediation." Admittedly, that had been one of _his_ conditions, but he couldn't tell her that either. Maybe this whole romantic probation thing wouldn't be so bad.

"Charming. They're in here," she said as Puck almost walked right past a store. Merle Norman Cosmetics Studios.

"Make up?" Puck asked, only a little bit surprised. All the girls wore make-up, but did Kurt? Puck could see the four of them in there, and Kurt was definitely browsing.

"Yes, Kurt wears make-up," Quinn said with the amused smile all women got when something was so obvious to them yet so unknown to men. It was smug and superior and obnoxious. "Quite a bit, as a matter of fact."

"Does he like... cross-dress on weekends?" He had never seen Kurt wearing make-up...

"No, you idiot, he's just subtle about it." Quinn dragged Puck into the store, and immediately Puck was getting The Stare. It deserved to be capitalized because it was what every woman gave a man when they saw him somewhere they figured he didn't belong. Like in another girl's bed. And Puck _definitely_ didn't belong in a make-up store. No way.

"Do you think it's worth checking out Sephora after this?" Tina was asking as she browsed through a bunch of colorful eyeshadows.

"Better quality," Kurt said, and he was wrinkling his nose at most of the make-up he saw.

"Says you," Santana said, one of those little mesh-basket things full of make-up in her hand.

"And we all know I have the better taste."

"Yeah, it's not like I fucked Puck first or anything." Kurt went an interesting shade of red, and thankfully Quinn intervened.

"While I would love to see where this particular conversation goes, and I really would, because with the exception of Tina everyone in this particular group has had sex with Puck-"

"Especially Puck," Santana and Kurt interrupted at the same time with the same dry inflection, then grinned at each other. Quinn stifled a laugh with her hand.

"But I have delivered the poor unfortunate boyfriend from the grasps of Rachel and Mercedes, and I have a feeling Kurt's bound by these mysterious 'conditions' as well." Quinn's tone clearly suggested that she wanted to know, but both of them ignored her.

"Most of them." Kurt shrugged. "Some don't terribly bother me." They both knew which one he was talking about.

"And one of these conditions has to be that they're not boning," Santana said with a smirk. Puck mouthed 'five,' and she did a little triumphant fist pump.

"How can you possibly know that?" Tina asked, obviously feeling a little left out of the conversation. She and Puck weren't close at all. That couldn't be said for any other girl in the glee club. Maybe Rachel and Mercedes weren't exactly happy with Puck at the moment, but Mercedes _had_ dated him, and Rachel and he were connected by their shared heritage.

"Santana, in one of the many not-so-flattering comparisons I could draw between her and everyone's favorite How I Met Your Mother character, can tell with a look how long it has been since someone had sex," Kurt said rolling his eyes in disapproval. It was actually an impressive talent. Puck thought it was kind of cool.

"So, let's play this game. Quinn hasn't gotten laid since she got knocked up, which means Finn's _still_ never gotten up on that. Tina... had sex last night, you dirty witch." Tina shrugged. When someone was in a relationship like her and Mike's, there was no reason to be embarrassed. "Brittany got some last night." Everyone knew that statement was silently followed by a 'and so did I.' "And you guys shouldn't take it for granted that they've boinked."

"What do you mean?" Quinn was the one to ask this time, since Santana didn't seem inclined to elaborate.

"Puck hasn't gotten it in for a while," Kurt wrinkled his nose at Santana's word choice, "but no one's gotten it into Kurt _ever_." Everyone looked at Kurt in surprise. "The last time Hummel got a little nookie was probably with Blaine." Kurt rolled his eyes, but his cheeks had pinked again.

"This is really none of your business. And here come my angels." Puck looked around, kind of afraid Kurt had lost his mind, because the only people he saw were the ones that wanted to kill him: Rachel and Mercedes. "Rachel will stop any talk about sex as soon as she gets over here," Kurt muttered to him, making it very clear what he had meant.

"No one's ever gotten it into Rachel or Mercedes," Santana narrated as they walked over. "As if we didn't know that."

"Were you guys planning to ditch us at the entrance and shop without us?" Rachel demanded, clearly annoyed.

"That was the idea," Tina said with a giggle. Puck wasn't expecting that kind of sassiness from Tina, but anyone on his side was a good thing.

"You were kind of being an ass, Berry," Santana said coolly, as if she hadn't been the person most opposed to the idea of him with Kurt first. To her, it really didn't matter.

"Says the one who tried to rip Noah's pants off in the choir room and sang him _U + Ur Hand_, an absolutely grotesque song, might I add, when she first found out that they were involved." Apparently, Rachel _also_ remembered that. Fuck.

"Yeah, well, ripping Puck's pants off isn't as worth it as it used to be." Kurt hid his laugh behind his hand, and maybe Santana wasn't so helpful after all.

"While I appreciate you all arguing over my boyfriend and my love life," Kurt said casually once he had gotten his composure back, "it's really no business of any of yours. I've made my decision, and I'm sticking to it. Nothing you say will change my opinion of Noah." Puck wrapped an arm around Kurt's shoulders as his boyfriend stared the two dissenters down coldly. Rachel was starting to look mad, but Mercedes just rolled her eyes.

"Fine. I didn't want to have to tell you this, bo, but white boy's cheatin' on you already." Kurt tensed; Puck could feel it.

"I highly doubt that." His tone didn't betray how much the comment had clearly gotten to him.

"So, the rumors about him with that Cheerio girl don't bother you at all?" Mercedes asked, and she didn't even seem as viciously happy as some people (cough, cough, _Santana_) would have been ruining their relationship.

Kurt relaxed. "Number one, they're called _rumors_ for a reason. That reason being that they may or, as in this case, may not be true. Number two, I actually happen to know a lot more about that particular rumor than you do, and I am happy to report that it doesn't bother me in the slightest." Mercedes looked shell-shocked. "In fact, it amuses me more than anything," Kurt said, grinning up at Puck.

"All right, laugh it up, princess," Puck grumbled, leaning down to give his boyfriend a quick kiss. He ignored the 'aw' from Brittany and Quinn and the fake-retching from Santana. They didn't mean any harm.

* * *

><p>"I didn't even know that much make-up existed," Puck grumbled as they left the store, and Kurt rolled his eyes.<p>

"Are you going to be a big baby and whine this whole trip? Because we're just getting started. We still have ten more stores to go to." Puck groaned; he couldn't help it. The six girls and Kurt had spent over half an hour browsing through make-up, and only Brittany had bought anything. If this was going to be the pattern of the day, it would never end. "Oh, relax. We'll get pizza about midway through."

"Now *that's* what I'm talking about." Kurt grumbled to himself as they walked up the causeway and turned the corner away from the entrance to Macy's. Puck distinctly heard the tone 'overgrown child,' but he ignored it.

"So, is this your attempt to convince me that condition three is worse than condition five?" Puck asked as they walked hand-in-hand down the hall, the girls trailing them and chatting. He felt two glares on his back, and several on his front from assholes.

"This isn't as bad as you thought it would be, is it?"

"I don't think I've ever been inside eleven different stores that all sell the same thing." Because, really, the girls and Kurt seemed more interested in critiquing the stuff than buying it.

"Well, Lima's options are abysmal, but it's good girl time."

"Which doesn't explain why I'm here."

"Because I thought you wanted to be with me," Kurt snapped, and apparently Puck's complaining (it was _not_ whining. No way) bothered him a little. Or a lot.

"I... Fuck it, you know I do. I just don't see why I have to jump through this particular hoop."

"While I love watching this ill-advised relationship self-destruct," Rachel commented from behind them, "Kurt, did you know you're walking past rue21?"

"You had to find a way to ruin my shopping, didn't you?" Kurt grumbled as he turned around and ducked into a store that looked like it was designed and run by complete and total tools. "And in answer to your question," he continued, spinning to face Puck, obviously angry, "I brought you here because shopping puts them in the best mood. If I had known you were going to be such an ass about it, I would have waited and dragged you to the pool for suntanning while they were all on their periods." And with that, Kurt flounced into the store.

"You really are an ass," Quinn commented as she dragged him into it by the ear.

* * *

><p>Kurt huffed as he walked into the first store he might actually buy something in, linking arms with a still-annoyed Mercedes and trying not to care that Noah might have just left.<p>

Rekindling this relationship wasn't easy for either of them, but at least Kurt was being mature and trying. At this point, that was something he didn't think Noah was capable of.

He ignored the glare he got from the store clerk when he walked into the women's section first. It wasn't that he _always_ shopped women's clothes, but fashion realistically had no gender, and they didn't sell jeans that tight for men. It just didn't happen. There wasn't enough of a market for it in Ohio.

"These would look fierce on you," Mercedes said as they browsed a pair of super skinny black and white striped jeans.

"I already have black and white striped pants." Plus, the ones he had looked practically painted onto his legs, and were much more comfortable than jeans. "Purple's always a good color on you."

"I can't believe you're moping about that Mohawked idiot," Mercedes said, addressing the giant elephant in the store. It might have even been purple.

"Says the one who dated him because he needed to get his mojo back," Kurt said calmly. What could he do with polka-dot pants? Quite a bit. Especially in black and white. But they _did_ look a little... reminiscent of a clown.

"Dating him for superficial reasons is one thing," Mercedes said with a roll of her eyes. "Admittedly, it was one thing I shouldn't have done, but dating Puck taught me a lot about myself."

"Dating Noah has taught me a lot about myself as well. For instance-" Kurt wasn't quite sure where he was going with that sentence, so thankfully Mercedes cut him off.

"You have a type?" she asked, and Kurt raised an eyebrow at her.

"What can you possibly find in common between Blaine and Noah?" Not that they didn't each have their good qualities, they just weren't very similar at all.

"They're both assholes." He really should have seen that coming. "And they both like to be assholes in the same way: pretending they have feelings for you, trying to feel you up, and then dumping you when you refuse to go for it."

"Mercedes, that's not fair."

"How so?"

"I dumped Noah."

"Because Quinn told you about his Operation Getting Into Kurt's Pants." Crap. He had forgotten how close Quinn and Mercedes were at certain points.

"Mercedes, I know you made a good choice with Sam, but that doesn't make you a relationship expert. I know you think I'm crazy for liking Noah and giving him a second chance, but I can't help it. You're just going to have to trust me that this is a good decision. And maybe stockpile some Ben & Jerry's." Okay, so he didn't have complete faith in Noah yet.

"I will shut up about how stupid you're being if you tell me what the conditions are." Kurt sighed.

"That would be remarkably counterproductive." Mercedes raised an eyebrow. "While telling you and earning your doubtful approval of Noah would fulfill one condition, telling you would also violate the terms of another one." Mercedes rolled her eyes.

"Now I remember why I think white boys are crazy."

"You don't think Sam's crazy," Kurt teased with a little smile, but Mercedes ignored him. "You really should try on those purple pants."

"I plan to."

* * *

><p>"What are the conditions?" Quinn demanded of Puck as she dragged him over into the men's section. Puck chose not to comment on their destination.<p>

"I can't tell you that." This could be fun.

"Here's _my_ condition," Quinn said, her eyes and voice steely, "if you do not tell me each and every one of those conditions in exquisite detail, I will castrate you and put your balls in a jar on my mantle. Understood?" The truly scary part was that Puck believed her. He really did.

"Monogamy, date night, spending time with his girls, no alcohol, no sex, answering his calls, being honest, not telling you girls anything, my not having to define myself, and us dating slash me being able to tell homophobes to fuck off," Puck blurted out in a stream, kind of happy to be telling her. Maybe she would decide that they were crazy and give him a way off the hook. "Are you taking lessons on how to be scary from Santana or something?"

"No sex?" she asked with a raised eyebrow, completely ignoring Puck's question. "I'm surprised you agreed to that one." Puck hadn't told her about his embarrassing incident with the Cheerio, and he didn't plan to, so he kept his mouth shut. "I'll take that as 'no comment,'" she said coolly, and it was amazing to think that she had been threatening his balls mere seconds ago. "So, what did you do to piss him off?"

"Complain too much." The oddest thing happened following Puck's reply... Quinn laughed. "What?"

"Oh, sweetie, don't take it personally," she said with another giggle. "He's stressed and upset that Rachel and Mercedes don't like you, and he's working really hard to trust you. The littlest things are going to set him off."

"Great."

"The good news is that if the littlest things set him off, the littlest things will also appease him. Which is why we're here." She gestured to the men's department and ignored the curious (and probably horny) guys staring at her. "I'll pick out one of the graphic tees Kurt loves from here, you'll suggest it to him, he'll smile and kiss you, and we can all move on."

"Is there a book that teaches you how to do all this crap?" Puck asked as Quinn looked around. "Seriously."

"It's instinctual. For some more than others." Puck had a feeling that was a slight against Rachel, but he ignored it.

"I thought everything Kurt bought is designer."

"If that were really true, the Hummels would be broke. Kurt admittedly finds excellent bargains on designer clothes, but he also finds things that *look* designer from everyday stores and combine them with the more extravagant items to create the perfect straight-of-the-runway look at half the cost or less." Quinn reached up to grab a shirt off of the top set of hangers, and Puck almost punched the guy that wolf-whistled. Almost. "Pigs. Here," she said, handing him a t-shirt. Most of them looked pretty douchebag-ish, but that one was mostly black and imitated a tuxedo. "He'll like it. Trust me," Quinn said, obviously noting he was staring at it in suspicion.

"A small?"

"He's a tiny guy, even though he's tall. Now, go appease your boyfriend."

* * *

><p>Kurt and Mercedes had just decided that those particular purple pants were just the right cut for her when Noah walked over, holding a lump of black cloth slightly away from his body like he didn't know what to do with it. "Hey."<p>

"Hello, Noah." Kurt was civil. Mercedes didn't say anything, which was as close to civility as Noah was going to get from her for a long time.

"I was..." Noah gestured towards the other side of the store, which Kurt had planned to visit later, "and I thought you might like this." Noah handed over the black fabric, and when Kurt held it up, he couldn't help but smile. It was a graphic tee of a tuxedo.

"Thank you," Kurt said with a smile, leaning up to give his boyfriend a quick kiss on the cheek. "Anything else good over there?"

"Not unless you want to look like a douchebag." Kurt snorted before he remembered he was in a public place, slapping a hand over his mouth as Mercedes bust up laughing. Noah just smiled.

"What?" Kurt demanded, still covering the offending orifice, his voice slightly muffled.

"Well, that was cute."

"Shut up. Don't make fun of me, I just stopped being mad at you."

"Relax, princess," Noah said, prying Kurt's hand off of his mouth and kissing him instead.

"Well, as fun as it is to watch you two make out," Mercedes said rather sarcastically when both of them failed to break the kiss, "this _is_ a public place, y'know."

"Relax, Mercedes," Santana said as she wandered over from the accessories. "It's actually pretty hot." Kurt pulled away from his boyfriend at that, but Santana just gave him a little wink and put a fedora on his head. "Looks perfect," she assured him, "and there's a whole collection of bowties you might like over there," Santana added, pointing to the back of the store. Her tone said 'maybe you should go check them out,' but her eyes said 'now,' and Kurt and Noah went.

* * *

><p>"Bowties? Really?" Puck asked as he looked at racks of them. "I think these are made for women." They looked kind of girly, with a bunch of pink, but Puck couldn't imagine why girls would want bowties.<p>

"They're accessories. With the exception of jewelry, all accessories are unisex."

"Isn't that what you say about sweaters?"

"That's beside the point." Kurt continued to browse. "The _real_ reason we're over here is because I think Santana has something she wants to say to Mercedes, and I have a feeling it's going to help your cause."

"It's like being in the middle of a fuckin' war," Puck muttered, not even bothering to browse. He never wanted to look like any guy who shopped in this store. He might be a little less straight than he originally thought, but he wasn't _that_ gay.

Kurt mumbled something that sounded a lot like 'try being the country divided,' but it obviously wasn't a comment meant for Puck's ears, so he didn't reply.

"Kurt, you ready to get out of here?" Rachel asked, prancing over with a few miniskirts in her hand. One of them was particularly awful, but Rachel looked thrilled with her purchase, and Puck had a feeling there would be bloodshed if Kurt commented.

"Yes, but I think Santana and Mercedes are still arguing." That was a scary thought. Kurt gestured over to the skinny jeans, where Mercedes looked ready to tear 'Tana's hair extensions out.

"Well, they can catch up." Rachel grabbed Kurt's hand and started pulling him towards the cash registers. "I want to browse Converse at Journey's for future performances. I have the list of everyone's current shoe sizes in my purse. I was thinking we could get purple ones, with some sparkles for us ladies and you, and-"

"Is there reason behind this particular crazy?" Kurt asked, not objecting to being dragged across the store.

Rachel didn't answer until they were standing in line at the cash registers, then she turned to him with a crazy expression. It was the expression that made guys want to run and hide before a one night stand started saying 'forever.' "_Disney_," was her answer. "I was thinking that could be the assignment for the next summer rehearsal," so much for those being over, "and we could consider one of the songs as a contender for Sectionals next year. If there's anything in the world that unites all generations, its Disney, and it's a great way to connect to the judges."

"Rachel, I have a feeling you would have to include more than your voice in your arsenal of torturous instruments to convince the guys to Disney in front of a thousand people."

"There's cool Disney," Rachel objected. 'Disney isn't just for children anymore. There's teenage Disney."

"No, there's crazy Disney that _tries_ to appeal to teenagers but ends up being the butt of every joke in high school and makes preteens scream in that particular way you only can between the ages of eleven and thirteen. The perfect example being none other than High School Musical. Pick any number you like," Kurt said dryly in one breath as he placed his items on the checkout counter. The cashier was probably about their age and trying not to laugh.

"Noah, what do you think?" Rachel demanded.

"I'd have to be suicidal to get in the middle of this." At that, the cashier lost it, laughing as she rang up Kurt's items.

"Good choice. You wouldn't want Rachel disapproving of your opinion just because you know I'm right," Kurt said casually as he dug money out of his pocket (he hadn't actually brought some sort of man-purse, like Puck had expected).

"Well, we'll see what the boys have to say at the next summer rehearsal," Rachel seemed to agree to disagree as she was checked out by an equally-amused looking mid-aged cashier.

"I look forward to seeing your disappointment," Kurt said coldly. Rachel just rolled her eyes and grabbed Kurt's arm as they left the store together.

* * *

><p>Mercedes, Santana, Quinn, and Brittany eventually dragged Kurt and Rachel out of Journey's (Puck went willingly), and their next stop was Hot Topic. This was probably the only store they were going to visit that he had been in before (just for the KISS assignment though. Not for anything weird). Tina went immediately over to the gothic make-up, dragging Mercedes, Quinn, and Brittany with her for second, third, and fourth opinions. Puck was surprised when Santana decided not to follow her… Brittany.<p>

"They have great belts here," Santana commented as they browsed. Kurt and Santana had both bypassed all of the clothing (which mostly consisted of band t-shirts) with similar expressions of scorn, and they were checking out the accessories. Girls (and Kurt) _loved _accessories.

"Agreed," Kurt said as he grabbed some of the display, checking their sizes. One was green camouflage with studs, one was a stretched out American flag in tones of gray, and the last was modeled after a Ouija board. Kurt definitely had weird fashion choices.

Santana snorted as she looked at one. "Who would buy this?" she asked, holding up one that was covered in the house symbols from Harry Potter. Kurt smiled at the joke, but he looked a little sad.

"I can only think of one person."

"They have some nice bowties too, speaking of Blaine." Santana didn't just address elephants in the room, she _created_ them.

"I think I have enough bowties for a lifetime," Kurt said coolly. "I'm going to stop Tina from buying that terrible shade of red eyeshadow." Kurt was gone in less than a second, weaving through the store in the way only an experienced shopper could.

"Nice going, 'Tana," Puck said, because Santana was about as sensitive as he was when it came to shit like that.

"I thought he was over the Hobbit."

"So did I," Puck grumbled. Santana punched him in the arm.

"Stop being such a pussy, Puckerman. He likes you. Be grateful that he can even put up with your crap."

"Like you don't have as much shitty baggage as I do," Puck shot back, and that was why he and Santana would never work. They were way too similar. Though Kurt and Santana could be scarily similar in their mannerisms when the mood struck them, Kurt wash't bitchy 24/7. Santana was. At least, she was with everyone but Brittany.

"Brittany doesn't understand baggage except in the form of suitcases," Santana said bitchily, but with a lot of affection. "You don't exactly have that luxury."

"Well, Kurt's got some shit of his own."

"True." Santana picked up a tiger bowtie and twirled it in her hands. "You two have really never fucked?"

"None of your business, Satan."

"That's a 'no,' then."

"Shut up."

"Definite 'no.'"

* * *

><p>After Puck had suffered through the torture of yet <em>another<em> store that sold make-up (this one was _inside_ J.C. Penney, and the girls and Kurt spent the entire walk through the store sneering at clothing. For people on budgets, they were such snobs), this one in which Kurt bought make-up (and thus he was asked approximately a billion questions about whether a particular make-up made one girl or another or Kurt looked slutty or fake), they had finally arrived on the far end of the mall. That had to mean that the trip was at least half over, right?"

When Puck asked this question, he received the following unanimous answer. "_No_."

"We're headed to Dressbarn next," Kurt explained as they exited J.C. Penney.

"What the hell could you want at some place called _Dress_barn?" Unless Kurt really was a cross-dresser in his spare time. Frankly, Puck wouldn't even care at this point if it got him out of the damn mall any faster.

Apparently, Kurt got his jollies critiquing the girls' choices, because that was all he did at the Dressbarn. The only good thing about the store was that it had places to sit, so Puck could just chill and play on his phone while Kurt paid attention to the girls coming and going in probably a hundred different dresses. By the end of the stop, Quinn had three new dresses, Brittany had one, Tina had left them all to do something else and was waiting for them at the exit, Rachel had almost cried, Mercedes was vowing off carbs for long enough to form the habit (according to Oprah, that was 30 days), and Santana looked ready to kill Kurt.

No one was looking particularly fond of him either.

"You might like the next stop," Rachel volunteered as she walked next to him. Kurt was up ahead, trying to convince Mercedes that she was beautiful the way she was.

"What could possibly be better about the next stop?" Puck asked as they crossed from one side of the hallway to the other. When he saw the sign, his jaw dropped. "Seriously."

"Yes."

"Seriously?"

"Yes. Girls really do shop here, you know."

"I love women."

"That doesn't seem like a good omen for you, Kurt," Santana said with a roll of her eyes. Kurt sighed.

"I expect nothing else from Puck standing about fifty feet from at least ten women in lingerie."

It wasn't every guys' dream, shopping with six girls when you weren't supposed to be looking. However, when the store in question was Victoria's Secret, the frustration was worth it. Every agonizing second.

"We really should shop here before we go to Dressbarn," TIna commented as she immediately headed for the perfumes. "Our self esteem was much better after we left Penney's."

"Speak for yourself," Santana muttered as she barged right over to the skimpiest items in the store. "Come on, Hummel, you're my personal dressing room attendant."

"This isn't exactly my favorite stop," Kurt muttered as he brushed by Puck, giving him a kiss on the cheek. No one in the store reacted, probably because it was mostly women. And they liked gay men as much as guys liked lesbians. Or chicks in lingerie of any sexuality. Which was kind of Puck's focus at the moment.

There was no way Rachel wore granny panties under those skirts of hers.

* * *

><p>"I thought I was going to be your bitc- I mean, dressing room attendant," Kurt asked as Santana dragged him off in the opposite way of the dressing rooms.<p>

"Wasn't exactly my plan." Santana dragged him over to the underwear section and started searching. The item she pulled out of the pack barely counted as underwear. It was black and lacy and didn't look very covering at all. "What do you think?"

"Santana, I could care less what you wear under that skirt as long as you're wearing _something_," Kurt responded immediately, because it was always very obvious when she wasn't wearing something. _Extremely_ obvious. _Unfortunately_ obvious.

"It's not for me, ding-dong." Santana held it up against his crotch, and he jumped away when he realized what Santana was doing.

"Santana! This is women's clothing!" he objected. No, he didn't have a problem with any man, straight or gay, who wanted to wear any item of women's clothing, he just preferred not to wear women's underwear. _Ever_.

"Technically, these are briefs," Santana said, holding them up in the air, and yes, they _did_ look like his preferred underwear. Except there was less fabric.

"I have neither the desire nor the occasion to wear those," Kurt objected, not wanting to touch them for long enough to hang them back up, but not wanting Santana to continue holding them up.

"Oh, come _on_, Hummel, you have to be giving Puck a little some'n-some'n."

"I'm _not_," Kurt objected. When Santana didn't respond, still holding the briefs in one hand as she searched for something else, Kurt continued. "THis is none of your business." Still no response. "What are you doing?"

"Looking for these in red. It's definitely your color."

"Santana, I'm not wearing those."

"Doesn't mean I won't buy them for you."

"_Santana_!"

"What the fuck is your problem, Porcelain?" she demanded of him, turning around with a pair of black… things in one hand and a pair of red ones in the other. "Puck may be an idiot, but he's a hot piece of ass, and you have to keep him interested."

"I would like to think I can keep my boyfriend interested without _props_," he said, gesturing to the… clothes, if they would be called that, in her hands.

"Props is a little advanced for you right now, Porcelain, this is just wardrobe." Santana turned away from him, back to the display. "What are you, a medium or a small?"

"I hate you."

"I know."

"I would go with a medium in underwear."

"Small it is."

* * *

><p>"Your face is going to get stuck that way," Kurt commented when he saw Puck unashamedly drooling over Rachel's bra selections.<p>

"Speaking of faces, why is yours so pink?" Puck asked with a smirk. Kurt was never that red unless he was embarrassed.

"No reason," Kurt muttered, getting even redder. "I think Santana's all done shopping, and we'll go out to lunch next."

"Where are we going?" _Finally_, food.

"Viva Maria." Kurt looked at him for one moment, his mouth twisting in a not-very-attractive grimace, before he dragged Puck out of the store and outside, parking Puck on the bench and looking down on him. "Is shopping with us really that bad?" Kurt demanded, and this _so_ wasn't a conversation Puck wanted to have.

"Don't worry about it, Princess," Puck said, trying to appease him with an easy grin, but Kurt just glared.

"Noah Puckerman, you _swore_ to me that you would be honest with me, and you better keep that promise," Kurt said, a hint of iciness entering his tone, and clearly Kurt didn't _want_ to be appeased at the moment.

"Princess, it's just a little boring. And it's not really doing anything to make the girls like me. If anything, they're annoyed with you, which makes them like me less." Kurt sighed, and Puck thought for a second he was about to get reamed out, but Kurt slumped down onto the bench next to him.

"I know. I'm sorry." Kurt was twisting his hands together like he did when he was feeling awkward, staring down at them instead of looking up at Puck. "I'm starting to think that condition number four may not have been my brightest plan."

Puck wasn't stupid. Now wasn't the best time to point out that getting the girls to like him was actually condition number three. "Come on, Princess, cheer up. The girls have never liked me. It has nothing to do with you."

"Noah, you've slept with half of them!"

"Which isn't exactly a reason to like me."

"Is this your way of setting the bar low or something?" Kurt teased with a little smile, and Puck rolled his eyes.

"That's not what I mean, Princess."

"Do you ever plan to call me by my proper name again?"

"Probably not."

"Fine. You've dated all but one of them, and she's completely neutral."

"Dating me is, once again, not exactly a reason to like me."

"Ain't that the truth."

"_Kurt_."

"At least you called me by my proper name," Kurt said with a smirk.

"_Kurt_, Princess, relax. The girls will warm up to the idea. You can't force it."

"That's what she said."

"You've been hanging out with Santana too much."

"Very true. We've started saying things at the same time."

"I noticed. THe good news is, I don't want to do this with Santana." Puck leaned close and kissed his boyfriend, placing one hand on his waist and fisting the other in the back of his shirt, ignoring the looks he was probably getting from the other occupants of the mall.

"Liar," Kurt murmured as Puck tried to break away from air, pulling him close again and kissing the hell out of him.

"Well this is a fun little show," Tina said who knows how much later as the girls stood and stared more than the people passing them in the hallway.

"Do you mind?" Puck muttered, but Kurt pulled away, flushing and readjusting his shirt from where Puck had messed it up.

"So, do you need these now?" Santana muttered, and Kurt suddenly went bright red as she tossed something red at him from inside her bag.

"Santana!" he objected, tossing them back before Puck could get a good look at them.

"What are those?"

"Look, his face almost matches them now," Quinn said with a little laugh, and Kurt groaned, putting his head in his hands.

"I hate women."

"Princess, what are those?"

"Puck! Not the time." It was the first time in a while Kurt had called him by his nickname, but he chose to ignore it. Santana was obviously antagonizing him.

"Satan, lay off."

"Oh, like you don't want him in these lacy-"

"_Santana_," Mercedes warned in a dangerous voice.

"All right, all right. I won't make any jokes about how red Kurt's face is compared to his new-"

"_Santana_!" A few girls yelled at her. Puck was too focused on his boyfriend, who was still hiding behind his hands, to care which ones.

"Fine!" she said, but she was still grinning.

Puck wasn't quite sure what game they had been playing, but Santana had definitely won.

"Come on," Quinn said, dragging Kurt off the bench, and they walked through the central portion of the mall, the intersection between the two wings, past a Cinnabon, and Puck could see Viva Maria before he realized Rachel was humming and all the girls were grinning.

"_Loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead-end street_," Rachel began singing, and Santana quickly butt in before she could take over the entire song.

"_Faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ending so suddenly_." They were starting to get looks, but the stares weren't disapproving, just curious.

"_Loving him is like trying to change your mind once you're already flying through the free fall_," Tina continued, and Kurt was groaning and blushing again.

"I hate you guys," he muttered. "_Like the colors in autumn, so bright just before they lose it all_." Puck had never heard whatever song they were singing before in his damn life, but they clearly all knew it, because they _all _sang the chorus.

"_Losing him was blue like I'd never known. Missing him was dark gray, all alone. Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met._" They paused for one second before finishing it. "_But loving him was __**red**_." All the emphasis was on the last word.

"You guys suck," Kurt complained again as they walked into Viva Maria to some polite, quite applause.

* * *

><p>Puck was surprised that none of the girls complained about the lack of healthy, organic choices at Viva Maria, but they all seemed happy to chow down on pizza, so they just ordered two big pizzas, one cheese and one pepperoni, and they were all chowing down on pizza at one big table they had set up when he returned with the drinks they had demanded he get from the soda fountain.<p>

"You certainly are being good about this whole 'being Kurt's bitch' thing," Mercedes commented as she took her Diet Pepsi out of Puck's hands (apparently, she was serious about the whole carbs thing).

"Mercedes, he's not my bitch, he's my _boyfriend_," Kurt very purposefully made the distinction. Mercedes rolled her eyes.

"When it comes to high maintenance people like you and Rachel and Quinn, same thing."

"As someone who's dated all three, not really," Puck interjected before he thought it through, and Santana started laughing as Mercedes turned on him.

"All right, white boy, that's enough. Kurt's been spending the whole damn day trying to convince me that you're not as much of an asshole as you make yourself seem, and I don't believe a damn word of it. You've got no respect for women, no respect for yourself, and you sure as hell don't have any respect for my best friend. So why don't you just go and tell Quinn that you're only trying to get in his pants again and break his heart? Because we all know it's going to happen eventually."

"Mercedes!" Kurt objected standing up to face her (she had stood up near the middle of her little speech). "I don't care how cranky you're being about my relationship with Noah, you don't talk to my boyfriend that way. You would rip my hair out if I said things like that about Sam!"

"Sam actually treats me decently, despite how shitty he was treated by other members of this table." Mercedes looked at Quinn out of the corner of her eye.

"Oh, boy," Tina muttered from her seat beside Kurt, and she probably had a point. The New Directions had become so romantically intertwined, it was bound to explode eventually.

"I've made my peace with Sam, so maybe you should stop acting so jilted when you barely have an idea of what it's like to be in a relationship, never mind to be in love with someone," Quinn said coolly, not bothering to stand up. Girls could be really vicious.

"And here I thought I was the biggest bitch in the room," Santana said. Tina grabbed the pizza off the table, probably trying to prevent some sort of sit-com food fight. "Seriously, just shut up. I've dated Sam too, so I get to declare there's no more fighting about him. He's happy, Mercedes is happy, Quinn doesn't really have any leftover feelings, and I could care less. Could we _please_ get back to our shopping?"

* * *

><p>"That was kind of an asshole thing you said to Mercedes," Puck commented to Quinn as they browsed around the next store. THey had headed up the wing Viva Maria was in, towards the center of the mall, but they had ducked into a jewelry store before turning the counter. Quinn was browsing necklaces, and Kurt was over by Rachel, trying to convince her not to look at engagement rings.<p>

"It needed to be said. And the less you comment on girls' affairs, the more likely it is you'll win Rachel and Mercedes' approval."

"Girls are complicated."

"That's our job." Quinn looked up at him suddenly. "Do you want to make your boyfriend very happy?"

"Yes."

"How much money do you have on you?"

"Oh boy."

In the end, the correct answer to this was around three hundred and fifty dollars, because that was what he needed for Quinn's idea. So having a boyfriend was worse, financially, than having a girlfriend. Good to know.

"Before you complain about the costs," Quinn said as they checked out, "you wouldn't have to spend this much money if you didn't have to spend so much time wooing him because you're an asshole."

"Thanks, Q."

"You're welcome.

* * *

><p>Kurt was about ready to throttle Rachel when Noah walked over. "Hey. Can I talk to you?"<p>

"Anything to get away from this crazy woman," Kurt agreed, and they both ignored Rachel's objections as they walked away, towards the exit of the store. "Something wrong?"

"No. I bought you something." Noah popped open the box, and Kurt's face immediately went pale. _Super_ pale.

"Noah-"

"It's not an engagement ring, Princess, calm down," Noah assured him, assuaging his fear. "It's… God, this is going to sound so gay."

"Well, you _are_ talking to a gay man," Kurt said with a raised eyebrow, hoping he could get Noah to tell him what he was thinking.

"It's a promise ring." Now Kurt was raising _both_ eyebrows.

"Just because I told Mercedes that Sam was a good guy, that doesn't mean I want you to act like him."

"I know. Just… take the damn ring, Princess."

"What are you promising?" Kurt asked, and now he was smirking. Just a bit.

"What?"

"Whenever you give someone a promise ring, you also have to give them a big, elegant speech about what you're promising."

"You're killing me, Princess."

"I'm waiting."

"I… Fuck it," Noah said, probably a little too loudly for the room. They were getting a few looks, some from the staff. "I'm promising to follow all our damn rules, even the ones that make me want to hurt someone. I'm promising that I won't pull the same shit this time that I did last time, because I never want to be that kind of asshole again. I'm promising… God, this makes me sound like such a pussy."

"Go on," Kurt said, and now he was _really _smirking.

"I'm promising to do whatever i need to to make you smile every damn day, and to make you forgive me for the shit I pulled last time, and to do my damnedest to make you fall in love with me so I can have sex with you." It was a risk, but thankfully Kurt laughed.

"Well, that was _almost_ romantic," Kurt said as he took the ring out of the box and put it on his right ring finger. "I like it. It's cute. Unique. Not too… engagement-esque."

"Good." Puck thought it was kind of cool too. It was flowers and vines with diamonds. Not heart-shaped like everything else in the damn store.

Kurt seemed to be considering it, despite the fact that he had already shown approval. "And it fits."

"Quinn told me your size."

"You know…" Kurt said slowly. "We don't do much else after this on the trip."

"Oh?" Holy shit, there was a way out.

"I mean, we go to Buckle to look at jeans, but they have an online site with great deals. We go to FYE, but I have enough music. And we mostly go to Spencer's to embarrass ourselves. There's no reason I _really _need to stay."

"Princess, if this is a trick, it's a cruel one."

"Come on, you big baby, let's ditch this shit."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Well, it's not **_**really **_**a cliffhanger, because you guys probably aren't on the edge of your seats, but Kurt's definitely got an interesting plan up his sleeve. At least, the plan I'm considering at the moment is interesting.**

**I'm sorry it's been so long since I've posted anything for this story. This chapter was choppy and awkward to write, so I hope it doesn't come off that way reading it. On the bright side, it's pretty long.**

**The ring, for all you curious ones, is actually from Roger's Jewelers website. It's called the **14k White Gold Flower Vine Design Diamond Promise Ring **(I know, real original).**

**The song they sing is **'_Red_' by Taylor Swift**, and I just **_**had**_** to add a T-Swift song, because I saw her in concert on Saturday at Gillette Stadium, and I haven't been able to get any of her music out of my head since. She was amazing, and I was incredibly impressed by her showmanship. Her opening acts (Joel Krauss, Austin Mahone, and Ed Sheeran), were also pretty good, if a bit long. Still, it was amazing, and that's why that's there.**

**If the girls seem a little OOC: 1) it's been a bit since I've written all of them together, and 2) girls often act very differently shopping and hanging out with each other than they do at school; a little less inhibited.**

**Sorry for all the author's notes.**

**The entire Glee world, not only the fans, but also the actors and producers and writers, and everyone else suffered a terrible loss on July 13, 2013. Cory Monteith was well loved, and he will always be missed. My deepest condolences go out to Lea, to his castmates and coworkers, family and friends, and everyone else who loved him (which probably covers just about everyone who's ever met him).**

**R.I.P. Cory Monteith  
><strong>**1982-2013**


	29. L'chaim

"I'm sorry I forced you to hang out with the girls today," Kurt said a touch guiltily as he and Puck walked out of the mall, hand-in-hand.

"Didn't we already have this discussion, Princess?" Puck asked casually, because he'd had enough of the deep, romantic crap today, but he definitely didn't want to make Kurt upset and want to have _more_ heartfelt conversations.

"And I'm sorry," Kurt continued as if he hadn't heard Puck, "that Mercedes is being so horrible about this whole thing, and I'm sorry that I've made this so complicated, and-"

"Princess, why are you apologizing?" If Puck _really _wanted to get Kurt's attention, he would call his boyfriend by his proper name.

"I promise this all leads up to something. And no," Kurt said as Puck opened his mouth to ask where they were going, "it has nothing to do with condition five."

"Wasn't even my question."

"Sure it wasn't," Kurt mumbled, but he was smiling. "And I'm sorry that you've had to spend so much time wooing me because you're an asshole." Now he was _really_ smiling.

"Princess, were you eavesdropping?"

"Maybe a little. The reason I'm saying all this, apologizing for all of this, is because I know I can't promise you a clean slate, and you know that too-"

"I think we had _this_ conversation already too."

"Humor me," Kurt said dryly. "What I'm trying to say is, your little semi-romantic speech got me thinking. I miss the days back when we were just friends, when I _did_ smile whenever I thought about you, admittedly with a touch of wickedness."

"A touch?" Puck asked with a snort. Kurt ignored him.

"I miss the days when I didn't have a grudge, and we didn't have problems, and we didn't have to have so many rules to even _remotely_ make this work." Puck froze. Kurt didn't think they worked.

"Are you breaking up with me?" he asked slowly, completely seriously. Still, Kurt laughed.

"No, I'm not breaking up with you, and I'm not getting rid of the rules either. Until I can trust you fully again, they're the best thing for us. Still," Kurt said as they finally reached the car, "I don't want you to be jumping through hoops for me every second of every day, spending money that you earned through reputable or obscene ways-"

"I don't do extras anymore," Puck objected.

"In short, I don't want you to be my bitch!" Well, that was a relief. Part of Puck had wondered if Kurt was enjoying having all of the power. Hopefully, the summary meant this little speech was over.

"Where are we going, Princess?"

"Your house," Kurt answered immediately. "I have an idea."

"Not the fun kind?"

"Depending on your definition of fun," Kurt replied as Puck held the car door open for him (yes, it was a little sappy, but just because Kurt didn't want Puck to be his bitch, didn't mean the jock couldn't be semi-courteous). "I was trying to think, after you gave me this," Kurt held up his right hand where the ring was sitting.

"So, the three seconds between us leaving the jewelry store and when you started talking?" Puck asked with a grin, and Kurt smiled in return.

"And during a little bit of my speech," Kurt said, probably teasing. "Honestly, I wasn't sure where I was going with it at first."

"Not shocking," Puck muttered. As Puck got in the front of his truck, he paused for a second. "What about the Nav?"

"I carpooled with Rachel, listening to her talk about her favorite childhood movies the whole way. Really, it should have been a dead giveaway to her whole Disney thing." Kurt rolled his eyes. "Anyway, I was trying to decide what was the best present I could give you in return, besides sex," Kurt said quickly before Puck could suggest it.

"You read my mind, Princess."

Kurt shrugged. "You do think at a third grade level."

"Cold words, Satan."

"I thought that's what you call Santana."

"Exactly."

"Fair, but I think I came up with a good present for you."

"Care to explain?" Puck asked as he pulled out of the mall parking lot, resisting the urge to flip off the guy who was cutting him off. Seriously, he looked like a stoner who shouldn't even have a driver's license. Where could he _possibly_ need to be in a hurry, besides a parole appointment?

Oh, G-d. He was starting to think like Kurt.

"Maybe," Kurt said with a little smile, and if Puck hadn't known taking his eyes off the road would earn him a lecture, he would have made a face at his boyfriend. "We're going to go to your house and play video games."

"Oh?" Not that that didn't sound awesome, but it wasn't very... unusual.

"As friends," Kurt continued. "You don't have to worry about wooing me, or pissing me off, or doing what I say, or not farting in front of me-yes, I have noticed the expression of pain you make every time you hold one in," Kurt said with a roll of his eyes. "The point is, all the pressure's off. I think it will be fun to just... hang out like we used to, before this whole thing started."

"And you really think we can pull that off? You really think that if I say something to annoy you during this little break, you won't hold it against me later?"

"I really do."

"All right, Princess. Whatever you say." He would definitely test those waters.

"Ew, Puck," Kurt said in a nasally tone, holding his nose. "That's the first thing you choose to do? Really?"

"Had to be done."

* * *

><p>Kurt and Puck laughed the whole way home about every ridiculous thing that had happened during the forced shopping trip, Puck constantly bugging Kurt about what Santana had bought. "I'm not telling you," Kurt said for about the millionth time. "Besides, she still has said items, I managed to escape them."<p>

"So _that_'s the reason you wanted to leave early."

"Never tell her."

"Deal," Puck said as they pulled up at his house.

"How's Sarah?" Kurt said as he jumped out of the car, and when Puck frowned at him, Kurt grinned.

"Friends, remember. No door-holding necessary for bros."

"Last time I checked, bros don't kiss."

"Who said you're allowed to kiss me?" Kurt asked, sticking out his tongue at Puck.

"If you're going to stick that thing out, might as well put it to good use."

"Ah, ah, ah," Kurt reprimanded. "Would you say that sort of thing to Finn-actually, yes. Yes, you probably would."

"I probably have."

"You're ridiculous."

"I know."

"I can't believe I didn't realize you were gay until now."

"What happened to condition number nine?"

"Semi-gay?" Kurt didn't bother to make the argument that the conditions didn't hold at the moment.

"Acceptable." Puck unlocked the door, and couldn't resist holding it open for Kurt. The countertenor didn't comment.

"Where's your sister? Shouldn't you go check on her?"

"Yeah, probably. I'll be right back," he said as he headed up the stairs. He hadn't even thought about Sarah since he left.

"You seriously think I'm not coming?"

"The people up here always come."

"That was pathetic, even for you," Kurt replied casually, but his cheeks pinked a little bit, which Puck counted as a win.

"Munster?" he asked as he knocked on the door. "Can I come in?"

"I'm sleeping," was the rather cranky and unconvincing call he got in return.

"How are you feeling, Sarah?" Kurt called through the door, and Puck could picture his sister brightening up at Kurt's voice.

"Hey, Kurt. You can come in, but leave the butthead outside."

"Sarah, be nice to your brother," Kurt said, smiling at Puck. "He's actually a pretty good guys, way, _way_ deep down." Kurt was teasing. Two could play at that game.

"Not something you say about a bro," Puck muttered so Sarah couldn't hear. Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Fine. Let the idiot in," Sarah relented, and Kurt opened the door with a creak. It was pitch black in Munster's room.

"Were you actually sleeping, sweetie?" Kurt approached the bed, kneeling at the head of it and talking directly to Sarah, whom Puck could not see past the mountain of blankets.

"I was going to take a nap, yes, but I'm sure that will be impossible with you two home." It sounded like Munster was rolling her eyes.

"Don't worry. I'm not a typical friend of your brother's," Kurt promised her with a soft smile, and the countertenor was surprisingly good with kids. Especially Sarah, who seemed to love him already.

"I kind of got that. Number one, you have a dick. No offense."

"Sarah!" Kurt objected with a blush.

"Number two, no thumping out of Puck's room yet."

"Puck!" Kurt exclaimed in horror, staring at Puck like he was the worst brother in the world. For a little bit, he probably was.

"She caught me with Santana _once_," Puck objected, because yeah, he felt kind of awful about that. His kid sister was _way_ too young to know about that, even though she didn't technically know what the thumping was _from_. Hopefully.

"Poor Sarah," Kurt said, petting his sister's hair. "Don't you worry about that anymore." That secretly meant Puck was going to have to wait even _longer_ to bang his headboard against the wall now that Kurt knew that. Awesome. "Get some rest, Sarah, I promise we'll be quiet. Are you feeling any better?"

"A little," Sarah said, her eyes fluttering shut. "Thanks, Kurt."

"No problem, sweetie." Kurt gave Munster a quick kiss on the forehead before standing up and ushering Puck out of the room.

"My little sister loves you, doesn't she?" Puck said with a sigh as they headed back downstairs.

"Yes, but that's because _I_ don't have to enforce bedtime."

"True."

Puck started setting up the Wii for Super Mario Galaxy, and Kurt started getting snacks (popcorn, chips, and pretty much every other unhealthy thing he would normally refuse to eat). "Are you doing anything for Rachel's 'Disney' thing?" Kurt asked, obviously just making conversation in the mostly-comfortable silence.

"I'm working on something new-Disney with Finn because he's still working to get in Rachel's graces."

"I thought things were going well in try number... I've lost count."

"We all have. They're fucked up as hell. The bottom line is, yeah."

"Am I allowed to know what you're singing?"

"Only significant others are allowed to know what," Puck teased, but Kurt ignored it. "What about you?"

"Well, absolutely nothing I do will make it onto any final setlist, because Rachel's annoyed with me and Mr. Schue's a devout favoritist, and yes, I know that's not a word, but if I _were_ to do a song, I would probably do _I Can't Believe My Heart_ from Hercules."

"I've... never heard of that. And Hercules is Munster's favorite movie."

"It was cut from the commercial release," Kurt said with a laugh. "You can look it up on Youtube."

"What's it about?"

"Only significant others are allowed to know that," Kurt mimicked him, and apparently he _was_ listening. The countertenor sighed as he looked at the Wii Menu, for some weird reason. "It's crazy how obsessed you are with this game. And I'm not talking normal male-crazy, or Mercedes-crazy, or even _Quinn_-crazy. I'm talking _Rachel_-_crazy_."

"That's cold, Hummel," Puck said as Kurt sat down next to him on the couch with the other remote and put one of his weird-flavored-but-always-delicious bowls of popcorn on the coffee table. "Thanks," he said automatically, leaning over to give his boyfriend a soft, chaste kiss and feeling like a total sap for doing so.

Kurt didn't stop him. "What happened to being bros?"

"Bros kiss," Puck said weakly, and Kurt raised both eyebrows impossibly high, "when dared."

"Nice save," Kurt said dryly, but he was smiling. They sat looking at each other for a long, slightly-electrified moment, then Puck turned back to start the game. Kurt's voice stopped him. "I dare you to kiss me."

There was no way he was saying 'no' to that.

* * *

><p>Kurt's fingers played at the base of his mohawk as they kissed, his other hand fisted in the shirt covering Puck's lower back. Puck had placed his own hands on Kurt's waist, and every few minutes he had to drag his hands upwards, fighting old habits. This had dragged up at least two of Kurt's layers, and Puck had yet to feel skin. Kurt was a pretty good kisser for someone with little experience, if a little bit shy. "Mm, Noah," he muttered out as Puck kissed at his jaw and neck, knowing that Kurt, Finn, and Burt would kill him if he left any marks on the countertenor's neck.<p>

Kurt would kill him for thinking it, but making out with his boyfriend on the couch to the tune of the Super Mario Galaxy theme song was a lot like all the times he'd made out with Rachel while they were briefly dating. The fact that he was thinking like this while kissing Kurt was the perfect example. It wasn't exactly _boring_ (Kurt was an awesome kisser, and super into it), but it was still just kissing, and yeah, Puck was used to more, so maybe he was a little bored. At least Kurt wasn't thinking about Finn. Probably.

'I dare you to kiss me,' as cute as the line had been, was probably Kurt's attempt to get out of playing Super Mario Galaxy, but Puck was about eighty percent sure he would rather be doing this, so he played along, kissing Kurt and sliding a hand around his waist. He didn't exactly want to mount his boyfriend (since that was probably crossing the damn line), so Puck maneuvered Kurt under him laying on the couch, and they'd probably been making out for... an hour or so, judging by the number of times he'd heard that damn theme song. Of course, being a virgin, Kurt had twisted his hips away so Puck wasn't exactly sure how into it his boyfriend really was, but he was pretty certain Kurt was interested, judging by the breathy sounds he made every time Puck slid his hands up the countertenor's waist.

"Ehm-_ehm_," Kurt cleared his throat rather loudly, and Puck snapped back to reality to realize that Kurt had pulled away and he hadn't noticed. "Do I want to know where your head is?" The countertenor's voice kind of implied that he assumed Puck's head was up a cheerleader's skirt, or something equally as unacceptable.

'Rachel,' would be the worst answer of all time, and 'bored-land' was a close second, so Puck settled on, "Away." Kurt didn't look happy, but he didn't look angry. He was biting his upper lip.

"Is something wrong? Am I boring you?" There was no way Puck could answer yes to either of those questions without getting his ass kicked by his scrawny boyfriend. Instead of answering, Puck leaned down to kiss Kurt, trying to get back in the swing of things, but Kurt's glare was an excellent deterrent. "Condition seven," was all Kurt had to say, and Puck realized exactly how annoyed the countertenor was.

"I'm fine, princess," he tried to brush off the incident, but Kurt didn't look convinced, propping himself up on his elbows and making it pretty much impossible for the jock to distract his boyfriend with his lips.

"Really? Because I've seen you making out with Santana at least a few times in Glee due to boredom with the club, and I'e never seen you look this uninterested." Kurt was comparing himself to Santana? This wouldn't end well.

"That's mostly because my hands were up her skirt." Kurt wrinkled his nose. "Sorry, princess, but I don't think I've done the cheesy 'making out but no further' thing since middle school."

"Well, that's just disturbing," Kurt said dryly, but he was smiling. "You're an idiot, you know that?"

What Puck didn't know was why Kurt looked happy about it. "Gotta love it, Princess."

"Uh-huh," Kurt said, pushing Puck back when he tried to kiss Kurt again. "Come on, I know you've been thinking about playing Super Mario Galaxy this whole time." Not exactly true, but he definitely wasn't going to correct the countertenor.

"You're awesome," Puck said, and when he went to kiss Kurt that time the countertenor allowed it.

* * *

><p>Once Kurt had thoroughly kicked his ass and bragged about it for the appropriate amount of time (since, as he put it, he didn't have to worry about hurting Puck's baby feelings while only his bro), they were just relaxing on the couch.<p>

"High School Musical," Puck said to break the silence.

"Pardon?" There was the raised eyebrow he had expected.

"Finn and I are doing something from High School Musical." Kurt cracked up laughing.

"One or two?"

"There are actually three."

"Oh my GaGa."

"Hey, I have a little sister, I have an excuse to know that."

"How often does he use me as an excuse?" a little voice asked from behind them, and they both turned around to see Sarah, wrapped up in a blanket with a red nose and looking like the most adorable thing Puck had ever seen.

"Far too often," Kurt said with a smile, patting the couch next to him. There went any chance of Puck kissing his boyfriend again. "Every time he mentions something embarrassing that I know he secretly likes, he blames his knowledge of it on you."

"I hope people don't really believe him," Munster said, grabbing the dregs of their popcorn with her infected little hands.

"Of course they don't," Kurt said, looking over at Puck with a fond smile. "We all know he's secretly a dork and a sap." Puck punched his boyfriend in the arm (lightly, the way he would fist bump someone), and Kurt glared at him.

"Problem, bro?" he asked and Kurt rolled his eyes.

"He's not-so-secretly an idiot too."

"So, what song from High School Musical?" Sarah asked. "And yes, I actually do like it."

"It's acceptable at your age," Kurt said with a smile. Puck was kind of caught between a rock and a hard place here. He wanted to keep teasing Kurt by withholding things from him, but his sister had the most adorable puppy dog eyes, and she had no qualms about using them on him to get whatever she wanted.

"_The Boys are Back_," he answered his sister, but Kurt couldn't make fun of him, because he had never heard of the third movie.

"Sounds very manly." Or not.

"Shut up, princess."

"Do you call all of your bros princess?" Kurt teased, and Puck wanted to bang his head against a wall. But Sarah was giggling and Kurt was smiling, and it was creepily domestic in a good way.

"Do you sing?" Sarah asked Kurt, tugging on his sleeve, and if it had been anyone else, Kurt probably would have objected to rough treatment of his clothes. He had bitched Puck out about wrinkles after their little make-out session. Kurt had also already sang for his little wiser, but Sarah had probably been so delirious she didn't remember it.

Kurt nodded. "That's how I know your brother. I'm part of his Glee club."

"Sing for me," she demanded, but Kurt was probably the second-to-last person on the planet to reject a performance opportunity (the last being Rachel, of course).

"What would you like to hear, sweetie?" he asked.

"Something from High School Musical," she demanded again, and Kurt looked at Puck helplessly.

"Munster, go get Kurt the sheet music books I bought you for Christmas," Puck requested of his sister, and she rushed upstairs at a pace much quicker than what would be expected of someone that sick.

"You're a good brother," was all Kurt said as his little sister ran to her room.

"You don't sound surprised."

"You're a good person."

"Glad you think so."

"I _know_ so," Kurt said vehemently. "Noah, I know you've been through a lot, and _we've_ been through a lot, and you've done quite a bit, but I also know that you're an amazing person despite all of your flaws. You're funny, if a bit crude, courteous, supportive, comforting, fearless-"

"The word is badass, princess."

"My apologies," Kurt said dryly. "You're dynamic and loyal and passionate and clever and understanding and self-confident, though cocky is the better word, and semi-romantic-"

"You're making me sound like a really awesome puppy."

"And sweet and funny and gorgeous and tough and sexy," Kurt added with an affectionate roll of his eyes.

"Better," Puck said, giving his boyfriend a quick kiss. He had plenty to say to Kurt about his little impromptu speech, but he was interrupted by a fake-gagging sound behind him. "Munster, the adults are allowed to kiss."

"You're not an adult," Sarah claimed as she hopped between them on the couch, almost landing her elbow rather unfortunately in Puck's lap and forcing them to slide apart. "This one," she said decisively, opening up the blue book with six lame kid's characters on it. "Sing this one."

"Princess, your parts would be Gabriella or... what's the weird little pianist's name?"

"Kelsi," Munster replied.

"Right. Gabriella or Kelsi." Kurt was trying to hide his smile at the fact that Puck knew most of the names. "Shut up and sing Hummel."

"I didn't say anything," Kurt said, scanning over the sheet music.

"It goes like-"

"I got this, Puckerman."

_Na, na, na, na  
><em>_Na, na, na, na, yeah  
><em>_You are the music in me_

_You know the words 'once upon a time'  
><em>_Make you listen  
><em>_There's a reason_

_When you dream, there's a chance you'll find  
><em>_A little laughter or happy ever after_

Even without knowing what he was singing (just because Kurt had heard of High School Musical 2, didn't mean he was actually familiar with the music), Kurt sounded pretty awesome, and Munster was staring at him with impressed bug-eyes.

_**You're harmony to the melody  
><strong>__**That's echoing inside my head  
><strong>__A single voice_ (**single voice**)  
><em>Above the noise<br>__**And like a common thread  
><strong>_**Hmm, you're pulling me**

Kurt was smiling at him, but it was mostly a smirk because Puck knew all of the damn words without having to look at the book that was spread out across Sarah's lap. It really was his evil little sister's fault for watching the movies over and over again in the living room while he was trying to clean or do homework or stuff. Whatever. Any chance to flirt with Kurt was a good one.

_When I hear my favorite song  
><em>_I know that we belong  
><em>**Oh, you are the music in me**

**Yeah, it's living in all of us  
><strong>_And it's brought us here because _(**because**)  
><em><strong>You are the music in me<strong>_

_**Na, na, na, na **_(**ohh**)  
><em><strong>Na, na, na, na, na<br>**_**Yeah, yeah, yeah** (_na, na, na, na_)  
><em><strong>You are the music in me<strong>_

_It's like I knew you before we met_ (**before we met**)  
><em>Can't explain<em> (**ohh, ohh**)  
><em>There's no name for it <em>(**no name for it**)

_**I'm singing words I never said  
><strong>_**And it was easy **(_so easy_)  
><strong>Because you see the real me <strong>(_I see_)  
><em><strong>As I am<strong>_, _**y****ou understand  
><strong>__**And that's more than I've ever known**_

Okay, now he would have to kill his little sister for making things awkward. Gabriella and Troy, for all that he hated their guts because they were Disney characters, were actually a reasonably functional couple who were in love. He and Kurt were _not_, and it would have been one of the most awkward verses of his life if Kurt had been looking at him. Instead, his awesome boyfriend/bro-por-tempore was singing to his little sister, who still looked totally entranced by his voice.

_To hear your voice _(**hear your voice**)  
><em>Above the noise <em>(**ohh, ohh**)  
><em><strong>And know I'm not alone<br>**__Oh, sing it to me_ (**ohh, yeah**)

_**When I hear my favorite song  
><strong>__**I know that we belong **_(**yeah, ohh**)  
><em><strong>You are the music in me<strong>_

_**It's living in all of us  
><strong>__**And it's brought us here because  
><strong>__**You are the music in me**_

Puck cut Kurt off right there, partially because he couldn't stand another second of High School Musical, even if it was coming out of his own mouth, and partially because the next part involved a chorus and instruments and was like a minute and a half long.

"You're _amazing_," Sarah said as soon as Kurt stopped singing. "'Tana can sing too, but you sing way better."

"Never tell Santana that. _Ever_," Kurt stressed to Munster, but he was smiling and joking. Santana probably wouldn't kill Sarah for realizing that Kurt was a better singer than the scary Latina. Probably. "I guess the New Directions will get a treat hearing you and Finn sing something from that wonderful musical at rehearsal."

"Shut up," Puck grumbled.

"Don't be such a poor sport just because your sister and I always seem to get the best of you," Kurt said teasingly, but he smiled softly and Puck couldn't exactly be mad.

"Two against one," Puck complained, but he stood up. "Do you want anything, Munster?"

"You to leave so I can watch a High School Musical marathon in peace," Munster said dryly, and she already had the dry Puckerman sense of humor.

"Should've been that one coming," he muttered to himself as he stood, because his sister always sat around and watched kiddie movies when she was sick (since she _was_ a kid), and Puck had probably made the decision on what movies she should watch accidentally. "Come on, Princess, we'll leave Munster alone." Puck held out his hand to Kurt.

"Kurt can stay," Sarah corrected Puck's assumption, making his boyfriend laugh.

"I appreciate the offer, Sarah, but I think Noah and I have to have a grown-up talk upstairs," Kurt said, taking Puck's hand and letting the jock help him off the couch. Fuck, what had he done now?

"The same kind of grown-up talk you have with all your girl friends?" Just from Sarah's stare, Puck could tell she was smart enough to separate the term into two words.

"No," Kurt answered before Puck could, "definitely not." Kurt leaned down and kissed Sarah's forehead. "We'll be down to check on you later, I promise."

* * *

><p>"So, 'grown-up talk' is the euphemism you usually use with Sarah? That would have been nice to tell me before I used the phrase," Kurt said, sounding a little annoyed as Puck closed the door of his room behind them. He had cleaned up a little now that he had a boyfriend who was sporadically obsessive about neatness.<p>

"Are you annoyed with me or something?"

"No," Kurt replied, but he didn't sound entirely convincing.

"What's our grown-up conversation then?" Puck _really_ didn't want to talk any more about feelings. It would probably kill him.

"I assumed you had something to say to me," was all Kurt said, and that wasn't exactly a helpful answer.

"So are you my boyfriend right now, or my bro, or what?" Oddly, that made Kurt smile and laugh a little.

"I guess my whole 'just friends for a bit' thing didn't really work, did it?"

"You dared me to kiss you. I don't have that kind of willpower." Kurt was still smiling.

"I'm sorry-"

"Don't start apologizing again, princess. The only reason we can't act like bros is because we make out, and isn't that what a relationship is supposed to be like if you don't fuckin' over think it? It's supposed to be like best friends that have sex, right?"

"The best friends things is easy, and the sex thing is _not_ happening at the moment, it's the _feelings_ that are the problem," Kurt admitted.

"Then why do we have to talk about them so much?"

"Because otherwise you'll go back to convincing yourself that you don't have any." That was an annoyingly valid point. "Noah, I care about you and I wish we didn't have all these stupid rules designed to keep us together, but you're a flight risk and I'm too afraid of being hurt again."

"So how about we act like this whenever we don't have to talk about damn feelings?"

"I think I can agree to that," Kurt said with a smile, giving Puck a quick kiss.

"What the hell am I supposed to be talking about?" Puck asked after several failed attempts to convince Kurt to make out again (drifting off mid-session hadn't exactly helped his cause earlier).

"Well, forgive me for assuming, but I thought you would have something to say about me listing all the things that make you a great person." Oh. That.

"You don't know everything, by the way." Okay, that was _not_ an appropriate reaction.

"That's true," Kurt said calmly, sitting down on Puck's bed. "I don't know why you stopped going to fight club, and why you worked so hard to get with Quinn, and I don't know what's going on inside your head right now."

"Finn told you about fight club, didn't he?"

"He didn't use those exact words, but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to put together ditching the team every night and coming to school with bruises the next morning."

"I should punch him."

"Bet you won't," Kurt said with a smile.

"Wouldn't be the first time."

"Now you're just lying. Even when Finn hit you, you didn't hit him back."

"I deserved it."

"I can't argue with that."

"Thanks, babe."

"You impregnated his girlfriend!" Kurt sighed. "You're getting me off topic, aren't you?"

"It was working."

"I'm not the only one who thinks you're a good person, even if you don't. Rachel, Quinn, even Finn has good things to say about you when you're not around. Yes, Quinn was a big mistake for all involved, but all's well that ends well."

"How is breaking up Quinn and Finn and giving up a baby ending well?"

"Because Quinn and Finn were a nightmare to begin with, and you made the right choice, Noah," Kurt said softly, and why the fuck were they talking about this? "You're a great person, and a great sister, and I know you'll make a great father someday, but you're still a kid yourself. You shouldn't have a kid of your own."

"Why the fuck are we talking about this?" Puck tried not to raise his voice, but Kurt didn't look concerned.

"Because you don't believe that you're a good guy, and I do," Kurt said simply.

"I used to throw you in dumpsters."

"Which means if anyone has a right to be critical of you, it's me, but I'm _not_."

"Not anymore."

"And you don't throw me in dumpsters anymore. I think our dynamic has changed a little."

"You're still afraid of me," Puck said flatly, and Kurt sighed.

"No, I'm not."

"You're still afraid of my temper."

"Your temper has gotten better."

"You know, there are things you haven't told me, either."

"Your attention span is about as long as Finn's."

"Remember how scared you got when I pinned you up against your car? You've still never told me who." Kurt looked a little like a deer in quite a few headlights. "I told you I don't have the memory of a goldfish."

"I haven't told you about that because it's still not any of your business, and that doesn't count as conclusive proof that I'm scared of you. That was _months_ ago, before I even had feelings for you, and definitely before you had them for me." Puck didn't bother to correct Kurt, to tell his boyfriend that he had probably been harboring a little crush on Kurt for a _long_ time, because he was always focused on how Kurt was feeling and doing, had noticed all of his little ticks and how excellent he was at lying and reflecting, had hated Blaine on sight despite how happy the idiot had originally made Kurt... It didn't matter.

"Princess, what happened to condition seven?"

"I'm not _lying_ to you, I'm just refusing to tell you the truth."

"Do we have punishments for breaking the conditions?" Puck asked with a grin.

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Noah," Kurt said with a roll of his eyes, but then he sighed and patted the bed next to him. Ever his obedient bitch-boy, Puck sat down next to him. "If you knew who had kissed me, you would kill them, and then I would be responsible for you going back to juvie and then spending the rest of your life in jail."

"What happened to my temper getting better?"

"I haven't even told Finn who it was, because he would do the same. And he's much more easy-going than you are." Kurt smiled at him softly. "There are many great things about you, but the last word I would use to describe you is passive." Fair enough.

"What if I promised not to kill this guy? Or brutally maim him, or anything?"

"Well, I suppose if you _promised_..." Kurt seemed to be considering it, "I guess my answer will have to be... _no_. How stupid do you think I am?"

* * *

><p>Kurt and Noah had been in Noah's room for at least most of High School Musical one, judging by how much they could hear through the floor, when Kurt and Noah's phones both rang simultaneously, Rachel calling both of them.<p>

"Crazy alert," Kurt said with a sigh as he picked up. He loved his best friend, but sometimes she was just too crazy to be real.

"_Party line alert!_" Rachel was saying as he picked up. "_I'm just going to wait for everyone else to pick up_."

"Noah's not going to pick up," Kurt said to the crazy soprano, "he's here with me."

"_Well, I hope I interrupted something_," Rachel said cattily.

"_Rachel, be nice_," Finn said from somewhere on the other end of Rachel's party line.

"_I'm with white girl on this one_," Mercedes added.

"_If you two really were up to something, please continue for the listening pleasure of the rest of us._" That was Santana.

"_Ew_!"

"_Gross_!"

"_Santana, unnecessary_!"

"_Wanky_."

"_Tina_!"

"_That's what I'm talking about_."

"_This is extremely disturbing for the guys on here_," Artie added to the girls' outpouring.

"_Everyone's here now_," Rachel announced. "_The purpose of this phone call is not to point out all of the fatal flaws in Kurt's misguided romance with Noah, but rather to set up the next summer rehearsal. As many of you already know, the theme is Disney, but I urge all of you not to limit yourselves to classic Disney and explore the cheesy world of modern Disney, trying to find a jewel in the rough_."

"Did she seriously just make an Aladdin joke?" Kurt asked his boyfriend.

"_I heard that! Does Sunday at noon work for everyone_?"

"I'm working at the shop," Kurt said immediately.

"_Kurt, we all know your schedule with your father is malleable."_

"_I tried the same thing, dude_."

"Sorry you're in the doghouse, Finnessa," Noah added.

"_If no one has any real conflicts, our next rehearsal will be Sunday at noon. Please prepare a plethora of songs, and in return I will make macaroni and cheese and buy soda_."

"Bribing us with food, Berry?" Noah asked.

"_Would you show up if I didn't_?" Rachel's question was met with a resounding 'no.' "_Exactly_."

"_Oh, Hummel, before I forget, you forgot the sexy underwear you bought for Puck when you escaped our shopping trip to have sex with him_." Santana's comment caused an outcry, so Kurt just held the phone a little farther away from them.

"What sexy underwear?" Noah asked with a predatory grin.

"The kind you won't be seeing for a long time if you keep looking at me like that," Kurt said as the objections from the phone continued. "Santana bought them for me because she finds others' embarrassment amusing."

"Yeah, I know," Noah said with a roll of his eyes. "Crazy Latina bitch."

"You do know she can hear you, right?"

"I've said worse to her face."

"I believe it," Kurt said with a roll of his eyes, but Noah looked mischievous and adorable, and the countertenor really didn't want to return to the pipeline conversation among all of the New Directions. "And we didn't come here to have sex," he said into the phone.

"_Deny that you're in his room right now, all alone_." Shoot.

"We're clothed," Kurt countered.

"_Well, virgin, unless you've been spending too much time listening to Panic! At the Disco, even you should know there's all sorts of fun things you can do with your clothes on_._"_

"Like sit around and talk about feelings and care for Noah's sick little sister?"

"_Is Munster all right_?" Santana asked, abandoning their little war of words.

"She's just got the flu."

"_Give her my best_."

"Of course, Satan."

_"Rehearsal will be on Sunday at noon! Don't be late!_" Rachel almost yelled before hanging up the party line, obviously annoyed.

"It is _far _too easy to get under that girl's skin," Kurt said, putting his phone next to Noah's on the jock's bedside table.

Noah smirked, moving a little closer to Kurt on the bed and putting his hand on Kurt's hip, tracing the line of his jeans. "I can't believe you bought sexy underwear."

"Like you'll ever see them," Kurt muttered against his boyfriend's lips as Puck leaned in to kiss him, hard and hot and dirty. "Try not to get bored this time," he said with a smirk of his own as Noah pushed him back against the pillows.

"Oh, shut up."

* * *

><p>"Bubala, are you ready for... oh." Puck had never realized how strong Kurt was, but the tiny countertenor practically threw the much larger jock off him when they were interrupted by Ruth's voice. "I suppose I should have knocked, huh?" Puck's mother sounded amused.<p>

"Ms. Puckerman, we were just-"

"I've had two children, Kurt, I know what you were doing." Kurt flushed and buried his face in his hands, making Ruth laugh. "Bubala, dinner will be ready in about five minutes. Are you staying, Kurt?"

"I wouldn't want to impose," Kurt said, still hiding his face.

"Nonsense. It's nice that my son is... entertaining someone I don't mind having in my house for longer than it takes for him to be done."

"Ma!"

"Sorry, sorry. Kurt, you're more than welcome to stay, I'm sure it would make both Noah and Sarah very happy. Noah, respect our guest," she said threateningly before leaving, closing the door behind her.

"I can't believe your mother just walked in on us," Kurt muttered, still talking into his hands. Puck rolled his eyes (since Kurt couldn't see him), and peeled the countertenor's pale hands off his eyes.

"We were just kissing, Kurt, relax. I'm pretty sure my mother knows I'm not entirely innocent." Kurt was glaring at him. "What?"

"Just because your mother knows that you entertain house guests, doesn't mean I want her to group me in with your sluts."

"I'm absolutely positive she doesn't, princess."

Kurt sighed. "Does she always call you bubala?"

"Yeah, it's a Yiddish pet name."

"What does it mean?"

"Dear or sweetheart or darling; you know, mom stuff."

"Well, isn't that just the most adorable thing!"

"Shut up, princess."

* * *

><p>"What's for dinner, ma?" Noah asked as he held a chair out for Kurt to sit down before grabbing the silverware and napkins and beginning to set the table.<p>

"Kneidlach soup for your sister's health, knishes, and milk for you, no sports drinks."

"If there's chicken in those knishes, isn't that technically prohibited?" Noah asked his mother with a smirk.

"If you're making that cocky face of yours behind my back, I will whack you with this ladle, Noah Puckerman. I don't care that your boyfriend is here, and I decide what's best for your health."

"For the record, I'm fine with you whacking him with a ladle, Mrs. Puckerman," Kurt added, and Ruth smiled.

"Thanks, Kurt," Noah said sarcastically. "See, _she's_ the reason I'm a bad Jew."

"Meat and dairy are both staples of the human diet. I personally don't see why we can't eat them together as long as I'm not using the same pots and pans for them. All food mixes together in the stomach anyway." Ruth's logic was both semi-religious and flawless.

"Munster, mach shnel, dinner time."

"What're we having?" Sarah asked as she paused High School Musical 2 and headed into the kitchen, still wrapped in a blanket.

"Jewish penicillin and chicken knishes, with some very un-kosher milk." Sarah grinned at her brother as she sat down.

"Hey, Kurt, you're still here?"

"He's one of the select few special friends of Noah's that gets to stay for dinner," Ruth said as she served her daughter a pipping hot bowl of... something Kurt couldn't quite make out that had thus far been called by two different unrecognizable names, and Noah put a big glass of milk in front of his sister and a considerably less full one in front of his own place next to Kurt before sitting down. He gave Kurt a quick kiss on the cheek as Ruth served the countertenor his food.

"What is this?" Kurt whispered to his boyfriend, trying to be quiet as not to be rude, but Noah's loud laugh rather ruined his attempts.

"Matzah ball soup is the most common name for it. Ma makes it with chicken broth, parsley, celery, and carrots, as well as matzah balls. Matzah balls are made of... what are they made of again?" he asked his mother.

"Flour, water, and a touch of egg."

"I called it Jewish penicillin because it's supposed to cure whatever ails you. It's just a bobbemyseh." Kurt could imply for Noah's tone what that meant.

"I distinctly recall matzah balls saving you from a case of mono, Noah," Ruth said with a smile as she placed a bowl in front of her son and then one at her own place, putting a plate of little dumplings in the middle.

"Those are knishes," Noah said as he grabbed a few. "They're potato and flour stuffed with onion, cheese, and Ma put in chicken, which is very Torah-bad."

"I make the rules, Noah."

"I'm not against it," Noah claimed. "You know how excellently I follow the rules on my own."

"Vilda chaya," Ruth said with a harumph. Sarah snorted.

"They're really good. Try one," Noah said, picking one up and holding it out towards his boyfriend. Kurt went to grab it. "Nuh-huh, Hummel, try it," Noah said, pulling it away from his hand and pressing it to his lips. Kurt didn't really have any other choice but to take a bite, trying not to spill crumbs on the floor and very aware of Ruth's eyes on them.

"That's really good," Kurt said after taking a bite, holding a hand to his mouth so he wouldn't show Sarah and Ruth his half-chewed food.

"Kvell," Ruth said under her breath. Noah and Kurt both looked at her, Kurt in confusion and Noah in amusement.

"What does that mean?" Kurt asked anyone who would tell him.

"Praise. Pride. Whichever. Basically, it means Ma's glad I'm done with nafkas." Sarah laughed. "Munster, you should _not_ know what that word means."

"Maybe you should tell your faygala what that means," Sarah said with a grin.

"Luzzem, both of you."

"I'm going to start learning Yiddish so I can keep track of the conversation in this household."

"At least you know what language it is," Sarah said consolingly.

"Can we all speak English in front of the shaygetz?" Noah asked his family, and Ruth smiled.

"I think we've messed with his head enough, yes." Kurt looked around and noticed that besides the bite of knish Noah had fed him, no one had eaten. "On the one hand, I feel compelled to make you momzers pray to make sure you remember how, but on the other hand I don't want our atheistic friend to feel uncomfortable, so we'll pray at breakfast tomorrow. Review your prayers." Noah and Sarah both groaned, but they started in on their food with relish.

"Mrs. Puckerman, you don't have to refrain on my account."

"Too late. Could you pass the knishes, sweetie?" As Kurt passed the little dumplings, Ruth returned to chastising her kids. "Stop freesing, bubalas. Noah, at least ess in front of your boyfriend."

"Mrs. Puckerman, I'm sure you've entertained Finn many times during Noah's childhood. He is my brother. There's no form of eating that could possibly offend me more than Finnegan does on a near-daily basis." Kurt had at least gotten the general gist of that one.

Ruth chuckled at that. "True. How is Finnegan? I haven't seen him around here in a while." That comment probably wasn't intended to make Noah feel guilty, but he looked rather guilty. "Also, call me Ruth, sweetie. With any hope, Noah will have the saykhel to keep you around for a while."

"Ma, English."

"Hush, bubala. Maybe if you had corrected me before, instead of having your face stuffed with knish, I would have learned." Kurt giggled and Noah rolled his eyes.

"Finn is great. He and Rachel are back together-"

"Mazel tov to them."

"Ma!"

"Even Kurt knows what that means, bubala."

"He's still playing football and leading Glee and very much enjoying being the Pied Piper, even more so now that he's a senior." Ruth smiled at that.

"He's a good kid, Finn."

"Love you too, ma."

"Hush, bubala." Ruth chastised her son softly, and Kurt took Noah's hand under the table. The jock hated it when he was supposedly compared to Finn. "So, tell me about yourself. All I know about you is you're Elizabeth Hummel's son, and you've tamed my oldest momzer." Kurt wasn't sure what that meant, but it didn't sound very complimentary.

"I'm Noah's same age, we're in Glee club together, I used to be the kicker for the football team but it turned out to not be exactly my style, I was briefly a cheerleader, I work as a mechanic at my father's shop downtown-"

"And he occasionally babbles when he's nervous," Noah finished his thought for him, squeezing his hand. "Relax, babe, she already likes you. If she didn't, you would know. She's said some _nasty_ things about some of the girls I've brought home."

"I'm sure you've brought home some pretty nasty girls," Kurt replied quickly, and Noah grinned.

"Very true."

"Can we not talk about all of dork's special friends, please? They give me the heebie jeebies."

"What, you don't have a Yiddish term for that?" Kurt asked before he could even think about it, but it thankfully made the whole Puckerman family laugh.

* * *

><p>"This was nice. In a totally sappy, pathetic way," Puck said on his boyfriend's doorstep. Munster and Ma were at home, watching High School Musical 3: Senior Year together, but since Kurt had carpooled with Rachel that morning and then they had taken Puck's truck to his house, Puck had been able to avoid watching with them by the excuse he had to take Kurt home at an appropriate time.<p>

"Glad you had fun," Kurt said with a smile, "even if you don't want to admit it."

"Shut up," Noah complained. "I can't believe we spend the whole day together."

"I know. Isn't it terrible that relationships take longer than random hook-ups?" Kurt said sarcastically. "I should go inside, my father will be terribly worried."

"Does he know we're back together?"

"Define know."

"Oy vez mear."

"What happened to English?"

"It's less dramatic than Yiddish."

"I'll take your word for it." Kurt smiled up at him. "I know you're being sarcastic, but I really did have fun today."

"Good." Puck didn't ask if this counted as date night, or if he still had to spend more time with the girls, or anything. At the moment, none of the conditions really seemed important. He wasn't sure who moved first, but they were kissing, soft and sappy and clearly not leading anywhere. Kurt pulled away when the curtains opened, Burt staring out at them unimpressed.

"Goodnight, Noah."

"Goodnight," Puck said, and he watched his boyfriend walk in the door, knowing Kurt would probably have to deal with a bunch of crap from Burt about them being together. Tomorrow probably wouldn't be a fun day.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Aaaaand... done! Obviously not with the story (though I'm wrapping it up, I assure you), but with this chapter. I'm sorry this took so long, inspiration was withholding itself. Still, I like this chapter. It's slow-moving, but it's sweet and cute and filled to the brim with Puckermans. I enjoy the Puckermans.**

**Songs used/mentioned:  
><strong>'_I Can't Believe My Heart_' from Hercules (mentioned)  
>Super Mario Galaxy Theme Song (mentioned)<br>'_The Boys are Back_' from High School Musical 3: Senior Year  
>'<em>You Are the Music in Me<em>' from High School Musical 2  
>'<em>Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off<em>' by Panic! At the Disco (joked about)

**The Yiddish (I had fun with this)  
><strong>Bubala - dear, darling, sweetheart  
>Kneidlach - matzah balls<br>Mach Shnel - hurry up  
>Bobbeyseh - old wife's tale<br>Vidla Chaya - wild animal  
>Kvell - to beam with pride or pleasure<br>Nafkas - whores  
>Faygala - male homosexual <strong>(literally little bird, which I just thought was adorable)<br>**Luzzem - leave him be, let him or her alone  
>Shaygetz - a gentile maleclever lad or rascal  
>Momzer - bastard or untrustworthy person<br>Freesing - eating like an animal  
>Ess - eat like a human<br>Saykhel - common sense  
>Mazel Tov - good luck or congratulations<br>Oy Vez Mear - oh, woe is me

**Reviews are Love.**


	30. Rachel's Disney

Kurt was smiling as he walked in the door after his day with the Puckermans, and even the lecture he was doubtlessly about to get from his father couldn't ruin his good mood. "Hi, Daddy."

"You only call me that when you think I'm angry about something. What am I angry about?" Burt asked, readjusting his cap on his head, sitting at the kitchen table. Kurt bypassed him for the fridge.

"I presumed you saw Noah and I outside." Not that they had been doing anything inappropriate, but Burt hadn't looked too happy about it.

"Unfortunately," Burt said gruffly, but he didn't sound angry. "And Finn told me you've been over at the Puckermans' all day. Grab me a beer?" His dad was being oddly calm and it was kind of unnerving to Kurt.

"You don't have anything to say about Noah and I? Or the fact that we've been unsupervised all day?" Kurt asked without looking at his father's reaction, grabbing a water for himself and a beer for his dad from the refrigerator.

"I know you, kid, and you're nothing but stubborn, just like your mom. Nothing I say is going to convince you not to date that idiot, and I'm not going to bother to try." Kurt sat down at the table across from Burt, handing his father his beer. "Besides, the more I say no, the more you'll want to."

"But you still don't think it's a good idea?"

"Of course not. I've heard what Finn has to say, and I've heard what you have to say, and I've heard all sorts of things about this boyfriend of yours from the town at large, including many older ladies who should _not_ know him as well as they seem to, and I still think you're using teenager logic." Burt opened and took the first sip of his beer, only looking judgmental when he got to the part about some of the cougars who knew Noah.

"I _am_ a teenager."

"That's the problem. Teenagers make terrible decisions and stick to them."

"You're calling my boyfriend a terrible decision?"

"Bud, you won't understand this until you're having kids yourself, and that better be a long way off-"

"Or never," Kurt added, leaning back in his chair.

"But the bottom line is something we've already talked about. You still see the best in people at your age, and I see the worst because that's the part I'm afraid of being around you. He's an idiotic teenage boy who already has a kid, and he's been known to make bad decisions."

"But aren't mistakes what we learn from?" Kurt asked, realizing that it was a weak argument but hoping there would be some way to change his dad's mind.

"Look, kid, I'm not going to forbid you from seeing him or anything, because I'm not stupid and _I'm_ not naive," Kurt ignored the implication that he was, "but there have to be some rules, especially if you're going to be over at his house without asking me and without his mom being around." Kurt ignored what his dad was implying, figuring it was best _not_ to tell his dad about the romantic probation. It made it seem like he didn't trust Noah, which wasn't entirely true.

"There weren't any rules with Blaine."

"Which was a mistake, because Blaine wasn't as good a kid as I thought, and I'm certainly not putting my faith in Puckerman." Well, his dad was half-right, but at least he wasn't lecturing or yelling. Burt just seemed… resigned to the whole business. Like Noah was just a phase Kurt was going through that he couldn't stop, and Kurt was trying not to be offended.

"If I've forgiven him, so should you. And I have." At least, he had forgiven Noah for the bullying he had suffered at the jock's hands, and for everything else, there was romantic probation. "He's changed."

"People don't change that fast, bud. It took me _years_ and having you to figure everything out, and I still have trouble with it." Kurt sighed, picking at his nails rather than looking at his father. "You know I hate to say it, but it's true." Burt was trying to meet his son's eyes, but Kurt would't look up.

"He's been getting better for two years, dad. He tried to protect me from Karofsky more than Finn did." _That_ no one could dispute.

"And that's the reason I'm not on the other side of town murdering him right now," Burt replied, and Kurt hoped he was joking but knew he wasn't. "But being your… boyfriend, openly, is a lot different from being a decent human being and protecting you from a bully."

"So you at least admit he's a decent human being?" Kurt asked dryly.

"Doesn't mean he's a decent choice for my kid."

"He's had a lot of reasons to change, and _fast_ too. Ask Quinn." Perhaps continually bringing up the baby Noah had already fathered wasn't the best idea, but Beth had definitely matured Noah and changed him for the better.

"You do realize I was a teenage boy once, right? It takes a lot to get through their thick heads."

"_Dad_," Kurt objected with a huff. "You gave him a chance when we first started talking, and he hasn't blown it yet. Will you _please_ at least _consider_ changing your mind?"

"It doesn't matter what I think," Burt said, finishing his beer. "It's your life, kid, as much as it pains me to say it. But he's _not_ Blaine, who was a jerk, and I learned my lesson about boyfriends, and there have to be some rules."

"Such as…?" Kurt asked, finally accepting that Noah wasn't starting with a fair chance when it came to his father.

"I know I can't tell you not to be there unsupervised or stay the night there, because I'm not an idiot and I know you can get your friends and Finn to cover for you. So, all I ask is to know where you are, even if you're over there." Kurt nodded at the reasonable request. "I want you to be _safe-_"

"_Dad_!" Kurt objected, face rapidly reddening.

"Kid, don't act like that."

"We're not-"

"I don't wanna hear it. You're two teenage boys, and I don't want to know, but I want to make sure you're okay, so… don't make me say it again." Burt looked embarrassed, too, but Kurt had him beat, since he was absolutely sure he looked like a tomato.

"Fine, fine," Kurt muttered, once again looking at the table top but for an entirely different reason.

"And he has to come over for Friday night dinner, soon."

"Dad, you _know _him. He's been in this house more than I have since Finn moved in!" Which was probably pretty true, since Kurt had spent so much time at Dalton over the past few months.

"I still get to meet him as your boyfriend. And make him piss his pants out of fear." His dad sounded _far_ too excited by the prospect.

"Dad-"

"If he's really changed so much, then he's not the idiot I know, and I get to meet this new, changed 'Noah' you keep insisting he is." The air quotes were obvious in Burt's tone. Kurt didn't bother to argue, knowing his dad was inflexible on the fact. Hopefully Carole would be on his and Noah's side, or it was going to be one terrible dinner.

"Fine. He'll come over for Friday night dinner." How the hell was he going to convince Noah to do that?

"Oh, good," came Carole's voice from the stairs. "I was just about to intervene. How was your day, sweetie?" Carole asked Kurt, giving him a kiss on the side of the head as she walked by. It was a very maternal gesture, but it didn't really make Kurt feel better.

"Fine," Kurt answered, mustering up a smile for Carole but still trying to figure out how he was going to convince Noah to walk through fire for him. The fire in this case being his father.

"I'm assuming you had dinner with the Puckermans?" Kurt nodded. "Good. Rachel is waiting for you upstairs. She said something about Glee club." Judging by Carole's tone, she didn't believe a word out of her son's girlfriend's mouth. Also, she was smiling with a touch of wickedness.

"Why do you let her into the house?" Kurt grumbled, heading up the stairs as Carole continued to grin at him and Burt was still seemed to be thinking about Kurt's relationship with Noah.

* * *

><p>"Hola, vilda chaya," Rachel said casually as Kurt walked into his bedroom.<p>

"How much Yiddish am I going to hear today?" he asked, semi-annoyed with Rachel before she had even gotten to her main point, which was inevitably some other logical argument about why he shouldn't be with Noah that he didn't want to hear.

Then she did about the last thing Kurt expected her to: she hugged him. And she didn't even ask permission first. "Um, Rachel?"

"I'm sorry," she said by way of explanation. "I've been inspired."

"Oh, boy," Kurt said under his breath as she released him and pulled him by the arm to sit next to her on the end of the bed. "What made you change your mind?"

"I haven't entirely," she admitted, "but I was talking to the girls after you ditched us, and I heard some stories about Noah, and I know you guys have made some sort of pact not to let us girls get involved in your relationship, and while it irritates me that you don't trust my judgment, I have to respect that, and-"

"_Please_ get to your point," Kurt interrupted her before her run-on sentence could turn into a whole soliloquy.

"I may not understand why you're interested in Noah, and I may not understand how this new, strange, extremely controlled relationship of yours works, but I trust you to make good decisions, and I trust him, marginally, to take care of you. Having dated him, I know how different he can be around and concerning people he cares about, even if it seems illogical to someone on the outside. I've been in the same position as you are, Kurt, realizing how sweet Noah can be while others tell me that dating him is ill-advised, as you did, if I recall correctly, and I feel a sense of solidarity with you about this."

"Delightful," Kurt said, but he was absolutely positive Rachel wouldn't pick up on the sarcasm. She rarely did if it was insulting to her.

"But that's not what I came here to tell you. Since you insist on no female involvement, I have no interest in helping to pick up the pieces of your fragmented relationship-"

"'Fragment-'" Kurt started to object, but Rachel literally didn't let him get a full word in, never mind the entire phrase or a question.

"I came here instead to ask you about the next Glee rehearsal. While Finn is always very supportive of me and is willing to do a new-Disney number on my behalf, I don't want to base _all_ of the approval of my idea on my loving boyfriend's charm, and I was wondering if I could get you on board."

"You want me to go to bat for your idea about singing new-Disney songs against guys that don't talk to me and girls that are currently judging me because I'm dating one of the slimiest manwhores to ever attend McKinley?" It was sad he had to describe his own boyfriend as such, but getting rid of Rachel was worth saying _anything_ about Noah, and Kurt was sure the jock would agree.

"No," Rachel said, "I want you to sing with me."

"That may be the first time you've ever said that to me." That was probably the first time Rachel had ever said that to anyone.

"And while I debated for a while between _I Want It All _and the song I chose, I eventually decided the aforementioned High School Musical song has too many double entendres that certain peoples' boyfriend would doubtlessly pick up on," she was obviously talking about Noah, "so I've chosen a different song along the same line."

"Would you like to share the title?" Kurt asked, a little annoyed.

"Of course," she said brightly. "But first, some background! The movie begins when Sharpay Evans moves to New York City in pursuit of her Broadway dreams…" Kurt groaned. It was going to be a long synopsis.

* * *

><p>About an hour after Kurt had convinced his crazy best friend that they had arranged and practiced the song enough for one night and shoved her out of the house with a smile, Finn knocked on his door with two cups of warm milk. "You're lucky I'm a pacifist on principle, or I would have killed your girlfriend tonight," Kurt said by way of greeting, not looking up from his Vogue.<p>

"Uh, good," was Finn's oh-so-eloquent response, and Kurt was forced to assume he didn't know what 'pacifist' meant. "Can I come in?"

"Sure," Kurt answered, "though I assumed you would be at 'boys night.'" Usually, whenever the girls went shopping, there was a guys night at Artie's house. All the guys would watch video games and crash there, though they were too manly to admit that it was a sleepover.

"Yeah, it got cancelled," Finn said with a shrug. "There's some family thing going on at Artie's, and Sam's helping his parents pack up the house, and Puck said Sarah was sick, and Burt's not in a good enough mood for me to ask if it could be here, plus it would just be me and Mike, so…" Kurt wasn't insulted he was never invited to boys night. It wasn't exactly his scene. "What's up with you?"

"This is a subject you seem unusually fascinated with now that you're pouring a good deal of energy into helping Noah woo me," Kurt said with amusement, looking up at Finn's face to see the usual expression of bewilderment and a hint of that gassy look he got when he was feeling guilty.

"I…"

"Nothing's 'up' with me, Finn," Kurt said, saving his brother the embarrassment of a response. "I spent the afternoon with Noah, and had dinner with the Puckermans. I wouldn't qualify it as a date, but it was nice."

"I bet Mrs. Puckerman loved you," Finn said with a laugh, because Mrs. Puckerman liked anyone who told Puck 'no,' and didn't have a problem with Jews.

"I think so," Kurt said, accepting his mug of warm milk. He looked super happy.

"So, Sarah's actually sick?" Finn asked, and the idiot's wary tone was the reason Kurt looked up for the first time.

"_Yes_," Kurt said slowly. "Why does it sound like you doubt that?"

"I don't, dude. I totally trust Puck!"

"Finnegan, you're a terribly bad liar," Kurt said with a sigh. "When Puc-Noah said 'Sarah is sick,' before, what was he trying to cover up that has you so concerned?"

"You almost just called him Puck again."

"You call him Puck." Kurt ignored the fact that Finn was deflecting, obviously avoiding his question. Whatever Noah had done in the past, it wasn't what he had done earlier in the day, so it didn't really matter. The past was the past, a point Kurt couldn't seem to convince anyone of.

"It's weird that you call him Noah."

"It's weird that we're having this conversation."

"Well, everyone else kind of… shared their opinion and stuff. I thought you might want mine."

Kurt sighed, sitting up and accepting the warm milk Finn handed him. "Finn, why are you acting like this?" His step-brother was sporting that guilty look again. "I'm going to guess guilt has something to do with your sudden interest in my personal life, judging by the gassy infant look you're sporting right now."

"Why would I feel guilty?"

"Because if things _weren't_ going well with Noah, you would feel responsible because you helped Noah earn his second chance, and you're just that kind of human being."

"You make that sound like a bad thing."

"It's not," Kurt said with a smile. "Trust me."

"And you weren't supposed to answer that. It was rhet… ret…"

"Rhetorical question," Kurt filled in. "And for the record, things _are_ going well with Noah, so you don't need to worry. I know you've been trying really hard to help Noah, but you're making it seem like you don't really trust him either."

"Dude, I was _there_ when Blaine broke up with you, and again when Puck was being a dick to you. I've seen what this kind of shit does to you and… Puck's a good friend and a good bro, but he's not always the best boyfriend."

"Did pre-inspiration Rachel get to you, or have you been ignoring these reservations from the start?" Kurt asked coolly. He wasn't going to let the fact that Puck's one true ally didn't even trust him get inside his head. _He_ trusted Puck, even if no one else did.

"Are you doing something with Rach for Disney?"

"_Finnegan_," Kurt said authoritatively, dropping the full name to emphasis how dead Finn would be if he continued trying to change the subject.

"Why do girls like him?" Finn suddenly demanded, and this was a whole other thing, wasn't it? "Why does it always happen for him? Rachel liked him, Quinn _loved_ him, Mercedes dated him, Santana slept with him like a hundred times, _with_ Brittany, now even _you_!"

"I'm not going to raise the objection that I'm not a girl," Kurt said audibly, but Finn ignored his comment.

"What the hell ability does he have that just makes girls fall all over him?" Finn demanded, and Kurt wasn't exactly surprised when his make-up chair suffered from the jock's wrath, thankfully crashing into his vanity without breaking anything. However, the warm milk Finn was holding spilled, ruining Kurt's floor.

"Finn, would you like to calm down now?" Kurt asked, using his best school matron voice. "Girls like Noah for the same reason girls like you, you both have big hearts. Noah's just… a little shyer to show it."

"I don't think 'Noah' has ever been shy about showing anything," Finn said, almost growling. Kurt ignored the air quotes Finn put around his boyfriend's name with his voice.

"Has everybody lost their minds tonight?" Kurt asked, trying to stay cool. "My dad is berating me about a boy, your mother seems to be in cahoots with Rachel, who has suddenly decided that she likes Noah, and you're flipping out because why, Finn? Because Noah always gets the girl? I'm sure he'd say the same thing about you."

"What?" Finn asked, and that seemed to calm him down, or surprise him into submission.

"You dated Quinn, Rachel _loves_ you, you've slept with Santana, as disgusting as that particular story is, and _yes_, I've heard it," Finn looked a little horrified but Kurt was going to keep going. "The bottom line is: Noah hates being compared to you as much as you hate being compared to him. You're both _amazing_ guys, Finn, with the potential to do whatever or be with whoever you want. You're just too insecure to see that you and Noah no longer want the same things."

"You don't know that," Finn muttered, but he had officially calmed down.

"Oh, so you've suddenly had a drastic change of heart and want to sleep with me now?" Kurt demanded, and the expression on Finn's face was a _priceless_ combination of bewilderment, horror, and disgust. "Exactly. You love Rachel, Noah cares about me. You're both in Glee club and football, but you're not competing. You're a great quarterback, Noah's your go-to running back. You're the male lead, and Noah doesn't even _want_ to steal that from you. I don't see why you two are _constantly_ in competition over things that happened a long time ago." Then the thought occurred to Kurt. "Is this… Is this another one of Quinn's crazy plots? Because I am _not_ okay with this."

"Nah, dude, Quinn's totally on your side. Plus, she kind of… flipped out, apparently." That was a problem Kurt would deal with later.

"Then why are you acting like this?"

"Because I really wanted that baby to be mine," Finn said quietly, and there was only one proper reaction to that statement. Kurt hugged his brother.

* * *

><p>The next few days would be described as turmoil. Sam was helping his family pack and they were headed to Kentucky on Monday. Mike and Tina seemed to be fighting and weren't talking to one another. Mercedes still wasn't talking to Kurt or anyone who <em>remotely<em> approved of his relationship with Noah. Rachel was so absorbed with her Disney project that she had left Finn's melancholy in Kurt's hands. Brittany and Santana seemed to be happy, but everyone was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Quinn really _had_ freaked out, Rachel had told Kurt the story, buying hair dye and a bunch of ironic clothes at the end of the shopping trip and then peeling out of the parking lot. No one had seen her since. Artie was still dealing with family troubles. And as for Noah… Kurt had absolutely no idea what was going on with his boyfriend. Sarah was feeling much better, he knew, and Noah had texted him a few times, but he hadn't seen Noah since the day they spent together.

There couldn't be a worse idea right now then a Glee club rehearsal, but that was exactly what they were facing."Feeling any better?" Kurt asked his brother as they carpooled to Rachel's house in the Nav.

"Yeah, I'm… sorry about that. He gets inside my head, y'know?"

"Not really," Kurt said honestly, "but just remember what I said. The two of you want entirely different things now; you don't have to be in competition."

"Easier said than done," Finn muttered, for once getting the expression right, leaning his head back against the passenger-side headrest and not saying another word for the rest of the (admittedly short) drive.

The promised food was there when Kurt and Finn walked into Rachel's living room (and her dads had to be very patient, and possibly hard of hearing, to let her have so many Glee rehearsals in their house in the middle of the day), and while Noah had yet to arrive, Sam, Artie, and Mike were sitting on one couch (judging by the fake gun motions, talking about some movie or video game), and Mercedes, Santana, and Brittany were on the other (laughing about something). Finn and Kurt parted ways, heading to opposite sides of the room, and when Kurt sat down in the armchair next to the couch, Mercedes looked at him and sighed.

"You're an idiot, you know that, right?"

"That seems what everyone is trying hard to convince me, yes," Kurt replied with a smile, and while Mercedes rolled her eyes some more, she was at least being civil.

Rachel was still in the kitchen, and Tina arrived next, not even _looking_ at Mike before coming to sit on the ground next to the couch, leaning up against the frame next to Santana's legs. Noah was the last person to arrive, since everyone kind of figured Quinn wasn't coming, and he walked straight over to Kurt and gave him a rather passionate kiss hello, making the guys groan and gripe, Mercedes scoff, and Santana and Brittany wolf-whistle. Then, before Kurt could say anything to the effect of 'well, that was quite a hello' (once his brain started working properly again), Noah was on the other side of the room with the guys receiving some good-natured ribbing for being whipped.

"I call this meeting of the McKinley High New Directions to order!" Rachel announced, far too cheerfully for anyone reading the ambience in the room. "We have six numbers planned for today, and I have suggestions for other experimental numbers. At the end of the week, we will pick contenders to present to Mr. Schuester at the beginning of the school year. Kurt and I will begin with a duet." The clapping, Kurt was sure, was mostly for him. No one wanted to hear Rachel sing any more than they all had to. Kurt crossed to the piano, which meant Rachel was still belting out a ballad to their audience, just with his help. The song started a cappella, and really for Disney, it wasn't all that terrible.

_I got something inside of me  
><em>_Something that needs to be heard  
><em>_Deep down a voice is guiding me  
><em>_Hidden emotions have stirred_

**Why have I let others lead the way  
><strong>**When all along I know what it is  
><strong>**I want to say?**

_**Whatever it is, I'll do it  
><strong>_**I'm the answer to your prayers  
><strong>_**Whatever you want, stop looking  
><strong>__Nobody else compares  
><em>**Whatever you've seen before  
><strong>_I'll give you so much more  
><em>_**You'll be totally impressed  
><strong>__**I'm New York's best kept secret**_

**I thought I had a perfect plan  
><strong>**Where I would wind up on top  
><strong>**One day I'm thinking, "yes, I can!"  
><strong>**Next thing you know, I'm a flop**

_Why did I ever play this silly game?  
><em>_I've got to shake up the rules  
><em>_And stake my claim_

Kurt was sure it horrified Rachel that he got the first actual belt in the relatively calm song, and while they had been working together before, letting their voices blend in the calm tone of the song, it picked up at this point, and it was about to become a competition, like everything with Rachel tended to.

_**Whatever it is, I'll do it  
><strong>_**I'm the answer to your prayers  
><strong>_**Whatever you want, stop looking  
><strong>__Nobody else compares  
><em>**Whatever you've seen before  
><strong>_I'll give you so much more  
><em>_**You'll be totally impressed  
><strong>__**I'm New York's best kept secret**_

**What if I missed my window?  
><strong>_What if I blew my shot?  
><em>**What if the only chance I was going to get  
><strong>**I already got?  
><strong>_I'm not ready to turn the page  
><em>_Until I'm on stage in a show  
><em>**No, nobody move  
><strong>_I've got something to prove  
><em>_**Don't you know?**_

**Whatever it is, I'll do it  
><strong>_I'm the answer to your prayers  
><em>**Whatever you want, stop looking  
><strong>_Nobody else compares  
><em>**Whatever you've seen before  
><strong>_I'll give you so much more  
><em>_**You'll be totally impressed  
><strong>__**I'm New York's best kept secret**_

Kurt finished the song with a flourish and stood up to bow to applause. Rachel attempted to curtsy and almost tripped over her own rug, which amused the guys endlessly (with the exception of Finn, who was whipped). "I hope you can all find inspiration in our performance as we continue."

Rachel, completely taking advantage of how hopelessly head-over-heels Finn was, made him sing _Beauty & the Beast_ with her, which was not only manipulative, but also kind of mean. Sam, another pushover, sang _Starstruck_, which was the new Disney Rachel was trying to push, and was kind of enjoyable in the way all new Disney was… the way it met the lowered expectations of old Disney.

Santana, surprisingly, also performed, singing _I Won't Say I'm in Love_ from _Hercules_ with some help from Mercedes, Rachel, and Tina (singing the Muses) and replacing all the male pronouns. The song was obviously directed at Brittany, and while it wasn't the most romantic serenade Kurt had ever seen, Brittany was smiling the whole time.

The moment Kurt had been waiting for occurred after Santana sat down following several requests of an encore, to which she replied 'kindly blow it out your ass.' Noah and Finn stood up to do their mysterious High School Musical song.

"Now, Rach, we'll try not to break anything, but we make no promises," Noah said with a rather evil grin, and Finn's face mirrored his. No one recognized the music when it started, except for Rachel, who looked horrified.

**Uh, uh, uh, uh  
><strong>**Yeah! Woah!**

_Take it back to the place when you know it all began  
><em>**We could be anything we wanna be  
><strong>_You can tell by the noise that the boys are back again  
><em>**Together makin' history**

_**It's time to show how  
><strong>__To be a superhero  
><em>_**Just like a showdown  
><strong>_**Will Smith and Bobby DeNiro  
><strong>_**We're the best, no doubt  
><strong>__Doin' it like we used to do  
><em>_**This is... our town… **_**and I'm telling you  
><strong>_**Oh!**_

_**The boys are back (hey)  
><strong>__**The boys are back  
><strong>__**The boys are back  
><strong>__**Gonna do it again  
><strong>__**Gonna wake up the neighborhood**_

_**The boys are back (yeah)  
><strong>__**The boys are back  
><strong>__**Climbing up the walls  
><strong>__**Anytime we want  
><strong>__**The word is out  
><strong>__**The boys are back**_

_**The boys are back  
><strong>__**Back to save the day  
><strong>__**The boys are back  
><strong>__**Oh, yeah**_

_Keep comin' with the right, win the fight every single time  
><em>**Undefeated here in our house, yeah  
><strong>_**We can rock **_**(uh)  
><strong>_**We can shock **_**(uh)  
><strong>_**Anytime we like  
><strong>_**And tonight we're going all out**

_**It's time to show how  
><strong>__To be a superhero  
><em>_**Just like a showdown  
><strong>_**Keep the pedal to the metal, go!  
><strong>_**We're the best, no doubt  
><strong>__Doin' it like we use to do  
><em>_**This is our time  
><strong>__**And I'm telling you  
><strong>__Oh! _**(Look out!)**

Kurt quickly discovered why Rachel was so horrified; Noah had apparently lost all sense of judgment. The song seemed to be fairly dance-heavy, which was a problem in the first place, but no one had stuck Finn behind the drums, and instead it seemed Noah had actually tried to _teach_ him the dance steps. It was a talent of Noah's Kurt had never seen much, actual choreographed dancing, and Noah was pretty good. His clearly well-executed steps made Finn's (which were presumably supposed to be the same, or at least similar) look even worse, though they seemed to have eliminated most of the ones dangerous to the audience. Still, it was the perfect song for them, if repetitive, being masculine and flexing and still managing to act a little bit like children. The only other interesting part was the bridge, which Noah edited slightly.

_Here to change the world  
><em>**To solve the mystery  
><strong>**Fight the battle  
><strong>_**Save the **__girl _**(boy)**

Finn was a little thrown-off by Noah's little edit (which couldn't really make his dancing any worse), but Noah threw a little wink in Kurt's direction, making him smile in spite of himself (and Mercedes' dramatic eye roll). Finn and Noah ended the song to applause and cheers and several shouts of 'the boys are back!' from the male side of the room (and it was sad that, at sixteen and seventeen, the room still divided between genders like they were in kindergarten and afraid of cooties).

The rehearsal ended with an amusing performance of _Cheetah Sisters_ by Rachel (who was, unsurprisingly, pink), Brittany (yellow), Santana (blue), and Tina (purple), and Kurt had to wonder if Rachel had been ignoring her boyfriend so much because she had been spending time making those costumes. It was a rather scary thought. Still, the song was good, if sung mostly by Rachel, and it turned out to be a rather undramatic and painless Glee rehearsal. There wasn't much insulting one could do with Disney music, and Kurt was thankful for that.

"All right, everybody, that was fantastic. _Now_, while several potential numbers have been performed today, I would like you all to also consider the following songs." She pulled out a scroll. An honest-to-God _scroll_. Why, Rachel, why? "Tina, _Colors of the Wind_."

"Racist," Tina muttered to Mercedes, who laughed.

"Puck, _Kiss the Girl_-"

"Classy, Rach," Noah said with a roll of his eyes, and Kurt had forgotten to mention to his boyfriend that Rachel was on their side, hadn't he?

"I assigned that song to you only because you have a very smooth, elegant voice, and enough _joie de vivre_ to enjoy the song with childish wonder, with the hopes that you won't make it sound perverted. Santana, _Some Day My Prince Will Come_." Santana didn't even _bother_ to make the same argument Noah had just tried. "Sam, _Go the Distance_." Okay, this was a new level of insensitivity, even for Rachel. "Kurt, _When You Wish Upon a Star_." Kurt was assured that was some kind of subconscious Pinnochio joke, but he chose not to comment on it. At least Rachel wasn't assigning every song to Finn and herself. "I will be singing _Part of Your World_, since I have a natural affinity for the classics, the same reason Finn and I will be covering _A Whole New World_." Ah, here's the assigning everything to herself part. "The boys will be trying _Be Our Guest_, and we will arrange _The Circle of Life_ and _Hakuna Matata_ at our next rehearsal."

Even though Rachel hadn't actually said so, and everyone was too afraid of her powers of annoyance to disobey her, the club took that as a dismissal, and everyone started to stand up. Rachel went right over to Finn, giving him a tight hug and obviously talking to him about what Kurt had already _solved_. At least she was trying. Mike and Tina were out of there in a heartbeat, each trying to avoid the other while heading in the exact same direction. Santana and Mercedes started talking, probably complaining about Rachel and her admittedly unfair assignments, with Brittany sitting there quietly, seeming lost in her own magical world. Sam and Artie headed out together, obviously planning something by the way they were both grinning. That left Noah and Kurt.

"Hey, there, sexy," Noah said casually, and Kurt tried to ignore the way he was practically _swaggering_ over. Old habits die hard.

"That's the pet name you're choosing for me, really?" Kurt said sarcastically, but he couldn't help smiling. He could easily ignore Mercedes rolling her eyes and saying 'jerk' under her breath. He could understand why she was unhappy.

"Absolutely," Noah said with that grin Kurt _knew_ was intended to melt his pants off with charm, and the hock leaned in to give him another kiss hello. Kurt let him, leaning up and wrapping his arms around Noah's neck, prompting some fake gagging sounds from Mercedes and a 'wanky' from Santana. "Well, hi there," Noah said with a grin as he pulled back, having successfully slid his hand up the back of Kurt's shirt while he was… a little distracted.

"Oh, like that's anything compared to the way you greet me," Kurt pointed out, remembering their steamy hello from earlier. "Also known as trying to remove my tonsils with your tongue."

"Did it work?" Noah asked unrepentantly, practically straddling Kurt's lap.

"Not as well as I'm sure you hoped," Kurt said dryly.

"Let's go out."

"It's like three in the afternoon," Kurt said, because it wasn't exactly the time for a romantic dinner.

"It's not like you eat anyway," Noah pointed out, grinning at his joke. "Come on, we'll go to BreadstiX."

"Very romantic," Mercedes commented, but she didn't know exactly how romantic that was. Noah was not only taking him out in Lima (unlike their first date), he was taking Kurt to a spot that most of McKinley hung out at. There was a high possibility that they would run into a lot of people they knew, and Noah didn't seem to care. It was _very_ romantic, in a very strange way.

"Fine," was all Kurt said, knowing that talking about feelings was the last thing that Noah wanted to do, ever.

* * *

><p>Kurt had left the Nav in front of Rachel's house, so Puck drove him to BreadstiX in his truck. "I wish you would let me get my hands on this truck in the shop," Kurt said, running his hands over the dash in front of the passenger seat. "It has so much potential, and there's so much I could do to make it run better."<p>

"There's no way you're getting your polished hands on my truck," Puck said as they pulled into the parking lot. There were some things that were just his, and his truck was definitely one of those things. No matter how warm and fuzzy he was feeling towards Kurt, which was a ridiculously gay way to put that. However, that was how Ma had put it every four seconds after he had driven Kurt home last night, so he couldn't get the phrase out of his head.

Ma had been absolutely delighted by Kurt and their relationship, and Munster had spent the whole night teasing about the two of them getting married. It kind of bothered Puck, but not as much as it probably should have. Ma and Munster were just happy for him, even though they had never publicly brought up how much they hated Puck's habits with women (at least, Munster hadn't. Puck hadn't been lying when he had mentioned Ma saying some _nasty_ things about girls in front of him… and them). Kurt was different, and he knew they liked that.

"Are you sure you're okay with this?" Kurt asked as Puck held the door open for him.

"You 'fixing' my truck? Hell, no," Puck said, still thinking about Kurt's distaste towards his baby.

"No, this," Kurt said, pointing towards BreadstiX.

"Hell yeah," Puck said, passing up Kurt's silent offer to hold hands in favor of slinging an arm around Kurt's shoulders and pulling him close, just in case any jocks decided to test Puckasaurus or his boyfriend. Damn that sounded weird. "Condition ten, babe. I'm not afraid of anyone in this town."

"One part brave, three parts fool," Kurt muttered to himself, but he was smiling, so Puck didn't really care about the doubtlessly nerdy reference his boyfriend had just made. "Table for two," he said to the hostess, who frowned at them in disgust. Puck had a feeling she was going to try to seat them near the back, and he was going to argue, only the booth she sat them at was private and comfortable and Kurt actually seemed quite pleased. "Picking my battles," Kurt said as they sat down. "They always do this here."

"I bet," Puck said with a snort. "Everyone in this town is an asshole."

"That's one way to put it," Kurt said, but he didn't seem to disagree. "So, what brought on the sudden romantic urges?"

"I have to have urges to ask my boyfriend out to… whatever the fuck meal happens between lunch and dinner?" Puck asked, only a little insulted that Kurt thought he wanted something out of him. It wasn't an unfair assumption, based on his past.

"No," Kurt said, "but it wasn't unreasonable to assume that you wanted to renegotiate."

"What?" Puck asked, because… what?

"Well, we're obviously exclusive, you've been going out of your way to romance me, spending time with the girls isn't a good idea, you've been fairly honest with me, the girls have mostly butted out, we're dating, need I go on?" Kurt asked.

"You could make your point, babe." Because Puck still had no clue what Kurt was talking about.

"Romantic probation."

"You're taking me off the leash?"

Kurt laughed at him. "_No_, but I thought you thought I was."

"I'm not stupid, babe, and I've dealt with crazier than you-"

"How sweet," Kurt said sarcastically.

"I know the more I bring it up, the more you'll think about it, and the longer it'll last."

"Very smart," Kurt admitted. The waitress came over to ask for their drink order, and Puck knew Kurt was watching him, so he didn't even glance at her to see if she was hot, looking at Kurt while he was talking to her. "Very subtle," Kurt said as she left.

"I could say the same, babe."

Kurt was about to retort when Puck saw out of the corner of his eye that another couple was being led to the back of the restaurant with them, and Kurt kind of froze, his face paling a little (a feat Puck hadn't thought was possible).

"What?" Puck asked, trying to turn around but not being able to see the couple, since they had just climbed into a booth a little ways away from them. "Who is it?"

"Nothing," Kurt said casually, almost visually gathering his composure. "No one."

"Was it Blaine?" Puck asked, because he wasn't an idiot, and only one person got that kind of reaction from Kurt, not that that didn't make Puck mad. Because it really fucking did. Blaine was obviously on a date, and Kurt was wigged out by it. "He's on a date, isn't he? What the fuck is he doing in Lima?"

"He has family that lives here," Kurt answered, obviously off in his own little world, voice distant. "He was going to move into them and transfer to McKinley if we had stayed together."

"Do you wish you'd stayed together?" Puck asked kind of sourly, and that shocked Kurt out of his little world.

"What? No!" Kurt objected immediately.

"Then why are you over there with him instead of here with me?" Puck asked pettily, and _G-d_, when had he turned into a chick?

"Sorry, sorry," Kurt apologized. "I was just… surprised."

"You're on a date, why can't he be?" Puck asked, trying to suppress the insecure wondering about whether Kurt still had feelings for his ex-boyfriend. He was the Puckasaurus, what the hell did he have to be insecure about?

"You're right, sorry," Kurt said, putting his hand up on the table in a gesture of apology, but Puck ignored it.

"Do you know what you're getting?"

* * *

><p>It wasn't the most romantic date they had ever had, and Kurt could tell that Noah was still a little mad when his boyfriend dropped him back at Rachel's to get his car. Noah walked him to his car, like a gentleman, and kissed him, but it was a quick kiss, and his mutter of 'bye,' was rough. Kurt sighed, got in his car, and drove home, not bothering to worry about Finn. Either he was already at home, or Rachel would drive him.<p>

Kurt turned his phone back on from Glee practice when he got home, noticing some texts from his dad and quickly assuring him that he wasn't with Noah. He also had a few texts from Blaine.

**From: Blaine  
><strong>'_I see you!'_

**From: Blaine  
><strong>'_I guess you don't see me, or don't want to see me.'_

**From: Blaine  
><strong>'_I would understand if you didn't, you know. I probably wouldn't want to see me either.'_

**From: Blaine  
><strong>'_I just wanted to apologize, again, both for what I did and for embarrassing you later. The Warblers have been busting my butt about my inappropriate song choices, and I realize that's the worst thing I could have sung to you. I'm really sorry.'_

**From: Blaine  
><strong>'_Kurt? Do you want to get coffee sometime?'_

Kurt sighed, turned his phone back off, and started making warm milk. Finn was the best person in the world to help him make sense of his head.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: It has literally been 90 days since I last posted a portion of this story, and I am terribly sorry, my devoted readers, especially since this is mostly filler. You have been very patient with me. As a reward, I have story-boarded out this story, and I finally know the ending. So, I'm going to try to wrap it up as fast as possible, maybe even before Glee returns. Yay!**

**And I know you guys hate Blaine, but I am once again using him as a plot device. If it makes you feel any better, he will get slapped next chapter. Yay!**

**Songs used/mentioned:  
><strong>'_I Want It All_' by Ashley Tisdale & Lucas Grabeel (from High School Musical 3: Senior Year; mentioned)  
>'<em>New York's Best Kept Secret<em>' by Ashley Tisdale (from Sharpay's Fabulous Adventure)  
>'<em>Beauty &amp; the Beast<em>' from Beauty & the Beast (mentioned)  
>'<em>Starstruck<em>' by Sterling Knight (from Starstruck; mentioned)  
>'<em>I Won't Say I'm in Love<em>' by Susan Egan (from Hercules; mentioned)  
>'<em>The Boys Are Back<em>' by Zac Efron & Corbin Bleu (from High School Musical 3: Senior Year)  
>'<em>Cheetah Sisters<em>' by Raven Symone, Adrienne Bailon, Sabrina Bryan, & Kiely Williams (from The Cheetah Girls; mentioned)  
>'<em>The Colors of the Wind<em>' from Pocahontas (mentioned)  
>'<em>Kiss the Girl<em>' from The Little Mermaid (mentioned)  
>'<em>Some Day My Prince Will Come<em>' from Snow White (mentioned)  
>'<em>Go the Distance<em>' from Hercules (mentioned)  
>'<em>When You Wish Upon a Star<em>' from Pinnochio (mentioned)  
>'<em>Part of Your World<em>' from The Little Mermaid (mentioned)  
>'<em>A Whole New World<em>' from Aladdin (mentioned)  
>'<em>Be Our Guest<em>' from Beauty & the Beast (mentioned)  
>'<em>The Circle of Life<em>' from Lion King (mentioned)  
>'<em>Hakuna Matata<em>' from Lion King (mentioned)

**I know way too many Disney songs for an adult.**

**Reviews are Love.**


	31. RENT

**A/N: Not a big fan of top author's notes, but I do have to apologize that this has taken so long (like, a ridiculously long amount of time. Months). Oh, and RENT spoilers. Like, the whole thing.**

* * *

><p>Finn looked kind of surprised to see Kurt when the countertenor knocked on his brother's door with warm milk, but he was sufficiently Rachel-less, and he invited Kurt in. "What's up, little bro?"<p>

Kurt ignored the greeting, handing Finn one of the mugs and then sitting down in Finn's desk chair with a sigh. Finn was lounging on the bed, hopefully doing something appropriate on his laptop, and while they had gotten incredibly close since Dad and Carole married, Kurt wasn't sure Finn would be down with them sitting on the bed together… although Finn had cuddled him on more than one occasion. The night he broke up with Blaine and the night Noah broke his heart, both painful things that Kurt was sure Finn would bring up in the conversation they were about to have.

In all honesty, Kurt felt kind of guilty using Finn as his backboard for ideas, considering how Finn felt about Noah and their relationship, but Mercedes was still angry and Rachel was crazy and no one had seen Quinn and Blaine was obviously out, in addition to being a sore spot for his boyfriend… so that left Finn. "Dude?" Finn asked, and Kurt was about to berate his brother when he realized that Finn would only resort to calling him dude to get his attention as a last resort, and his tone betrayed he had called Kurt's name several times already.

"Sorry," Kurt said, looking down into his mug instead of at his brother. "Lost in my own little world." If it had been any other day, Finn probably would have made some sort of joke, but his brother could be eerily perceptive at times, and he could obviously tell Kurt was upset.

"What's up?" he asked patiently.

"I saw Blaine," Kurt answered, still not looking up at Finn. "And by that I mean _we_ saw Blaine, Noah and I, but Noah seemed more annoyed at me than at Blaine, and Blaine saw me, and he texted me and…" Kurt sighed again, turning on his phone and handing it to Finn, screen still open to the texts Blaine had sent him, to which he hadn't yet replied.

Kurt expected Finn to read them, brow creasing as he would do the same thing Kurt had done: try to figure out all the potential meanings behind Blaine's texts. Instead, Finn glanced at the screen, scoffed, and tossed the phone back at Kurt. The countertenor was so surprised at the haste, he almost didn't catch it. "I forgot how much of an ass he is."

"Would you like to enlighten me as to what he's done now?" Kurt asked, because while the texts had surprised him, they hadn't angered him in the way they seemed to be angering Finn.

"Asking your ex to get coffee, especially when it's a ritual like it was for you and Blaine, is like… the universal sign for you want to get back together." Oh… well, that changed things.

"He was on a date, when I saw him."

"Was his date… uh, more attractive than you?" Finn asked, not meeting Kurt's eyes. Oh Finn, he tried so hard.

"I don't know, I never saw him."

"Then how do you know it was a date?"

"The homophobia of hostesses in Lima," Kurt replied, and Finn didn't ask.

"Do you want to go get coffee with him?" Finn asked instead.

"I don't want to get back together!" Kurt objected immediately, because Blaine had treated him horribly, and he never wanted to be in the position where he didn't feel comfortable around his boyfriend.

"That's not what I asked," was Finn's calm reply to Kurt's rather loud response.

"I… Blaine was special to me, _is_ special to me, and I know he's sorry and I'm glad he's moving on, and I want to forgive him and try to be friends…"

"But?" Finn asked, because his brother could tell by his tone that the word was coming.

"But Noah _hates_ Blaine," Kurt said with a sigh, "and it's not like I can blame him! Most of the good times I had with Blaine were at Dalton, even before we started dating, and Noah's only seen the bad. To Noah, Blaine must seem like the worst person in the world, but he's _not_! And yes, I want to be friends with Blaine, but not badly enough that I'm willing to drive a wedge between me and Noah, and there's already a pretty big one there-"

"What?" Finn interrupted to ask Kurt, and the countertenor glanced at him in confusion. "What's the wedge between Purt?"

"What the hell is 'Purt?'"

"Your couple name," Finn answered with a grin, and Kurt sighed.

"That's almost worse than Furt, and it also happens to rhyme. Why didn't you go with Kinn? It's both of our names, and it doubles as a word for family!"

"Because Furt is cooler." Kurt had a feeling he would never win this argument.

"Whatever." Kurt and Noah had made an agreement about mediation, but so far Finn had given him nothing but good advice, and Kurt knew the story didn't make a lot of sense without knowing the background. "I gave Noah ten rules about being with me. Romantic probation, we call it."

"What are they?" It sounded like Finn was trying very hard not to be judgmental, but it wasn't working very well.

"Exclusivity, date night, winning the approval of the girls, sobriety, abstinence…" Kurt trailed off. What was number six?

"You don't remember, do you?"

"Honesty, no bad mediators, Noah doesn't have to define his sexuality, and we're dating," Kurt finished proudly.

"That's nine," Finn said, and it looked like he was fighting off a smile.

"Close enough," Kurt argued, taking a sip of his now-lukewarm milk.

"If they don't matter to you, why are you making Puck jump through hoops?" Kurt had a feeling Finn would never call him 'Noah,' but that wasn't something he could worry about.

"They _do_ matter to me."

"Doesn't sound like it," Finn muttered into his mug, loud enough to be heard.

"Noah and I started in a difficult position!" Kurt objected. "I wasn't sure if I could trust him."

"And do you?"

"Pardon?"

"Do you trust him?" Finn asked, looking right into Kurt's eyes, and Kurt's response was automatic.

"Of course I do." Kurt paused for a moment, surprised by his own answer. "Of _course_ I do," he said again, smiling to himself.

"If you trust him, he should trust you, and you should be able to see Blaine if you want to." Finn's tone implied that he shouldn't want to, but Kurt ignored him, slamming his mug down on Finn's unused desk and practically diving on the bed to hug his brother. "Dude, this is weird," Finn said, but he was chuckling as he wrapped his arm around Kurt.

"Thank you," was all Kurt said, ignoring Finn's comment.

"You're welcome, baby bro." When Finn released him, Kurt climbed off the jock's bed. "The girls are gonna be so mad at me."

"I won't tell them," Kurt promised him, grabbing his phone where he'd left it on Finn's desk, and texting Blaine.

From: Kurt  
>'<em>Coffee tomorrow? The Lima Bean? 3?<em>'

The answer was almost instantaneous, like Blaine had been sitting by his phone for a while waiting for Kurt to answer, worrying about his reaction or maybe regretting sending the texts.

From: Blaine  
>'<strong>Really? Awesome! See you then :)<strong>'

"He's _so_ trying to get into your pants," Finn said, having stood up from the bed and come to read over Kurt's shoulder.

"He's not going to, so what does it matter?" Kurt asked. "Are you headed to bed anytime soon?"

"Nah," Finn answered. "I'm probably gonna be up worrying about my baby brother all night," he teased, and Kurt rolled his eyes. "Want to watch some TV?"

"How about a movie? How about _RENT_?" Kurt asked, realizing that was just the movie he was in the mood for.

"Isn't that a musical?" Finn asked warily.

"Yes," Kurt admitted, "but it's a musical featuring fire, lesbians, strippers, Idina Menzel's bare ass, and rock music," Kurt said, grinning at his brother.

"Doesn't sound terrible," Finn muttered.

"Keep in mind this is the musical that got banned from being performed in Texas because it was too raunchy," Kurt said, twisting the facts a little. The reality was that whatever Texas school had banned it, had banned it because of Angel and Collins or Maureen and Joanne, or both, but Finn didn't have to know that.

"Fine," Finn agreed.

Kurt smiled, and he hummed a little to himself as he grabbed the DVD from his room. "I assure you that you will love this movie," he said to Finn, walking back into his step-brother's room.

"Right," Finn said, his tone a little doubtful.

They headed downstairs to watch the movie, figuring they would only be _more_ disruptive to Dad and Carole's sleep upstairs. Kurt made them popcorn and grabbed lemonade out of the fridge as the menu popped up, ignoring Finn's complaints that he would have the phrase 'five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes' on repeat in his head for the rest of his life. Kurt hit play and told Finn to stop whining as the film began. Of course, that had never stopped him.

* * *

><p>"Dude, I've already heard this song like a billion times."<p>

"It's a great song, Finn."

"It's sad."

"No, it's just about what you choose to get out of life. Whether you choose to remember the little experiences or focus on the big moments, we all have limited time on this earth and we need to cherish it, especially with the people we love."

"Believe it or not, I would rather listen to you berate me about this song than actually listen to it."

"Shut up."

_In truths that she learned  
><em>_Or in times that he cried  
><em>_In bridges he burned  
><em>_Or the way that she died_

_It's time now, to sing out  
><em>_Though the story never ends  
><em>_Let's celebrate  
><em>_Remember a year in the life of friends_

* * *

><p>"This Benny guy's kind of a dick, isn't he?"<p>

"Most people would call him the antagonist, but sure."

"Are there seriously places in New York where you don't have to pay rent?"

"If your landlord is your best friend, probably. Otherwise, hell no."

Finn snickered a bit. "You swore. Who's Collins?"

"You'll meet him."

"Why are they hitting him?"

"It's called a mugging, welcome to New York."

"Dude, this song is _awesome_."

"I told you it had rock music."

"Can you really throw flaming stuff out of the windows?"

"Considering they live in Alphabet City, probably."

_How do you leave the past behind  
><em>_When it keeps finding ways to get to your heart?  
><em>_It reaches way down deep  
><em>_And tears you inside out  
><em>_Till you're torn apart  
><em>_Rent!_

_How can you connect in an age  
><em>_Where strangers, landlords, lovers  
><em>_Your own blood cells betray!_

"I don't get that."

"You will. There's a lot about AIDS in this movie."

"...This is gonna be sad, isn't it? You totally tricked me!"

"Shut up and watch the movie, Finn."

* * *

><p>"He's a total dick. Why the hell would he want a cyber studio anyway? People live there!"<p>

"Not if he evicts them. And to be honest, I'm not sure what a cyber studio even _is_."

"...Hey, Kurt?"

"That's a man."

"Are you sure?"

"Her preferred pronouns may be she, her, and hers, but that is definitely a male drag queen."

"Are there a lot of those in New York?"

"Just look for the Adam's Apple, Finn, you'll be fine."

* * *

><p>"Do they <em>all<em> have AIDS?"

"Not all of them."

"I thought he couldn't write any songs and that was his problem."

"Musicals don't always make sense, Finn. We really don't have room to talk about randomly bursting into song."

"His girlfriend gave him AIDS? _Not_ cool!"

"She didn't mean to, Finn, she probably didn't realize she had it before giving it to him."

_Find glory in a song that rings truth  
><em>_Truth like a blazing fire, an eternal flame  
><em>_Find, one song, a song about love  
><em>_Glory, from the soul of a young man_

"I think Puck would like this song."

"That may be the deepest thing you've ever said to me."

* * *

><p>"<em>Wow<em>, she's hot!"

"_And_ we're back."

"Um... they're making wax really..."

"Yes, this song isn't exactly about lighting, Finn."

"What's her stash?"

"Heroin, presumably. Some injectable drug, certainly."

"Gross." Finn paused and then suddenly shouted. "Yes!"

"What?"

"She's got a great ass."

"I guess it's a good thing for your girlfriend that you're not a boob man, Finnegan."

"Wait, she's a..."

"Stripper? Yes. Strippers are people, too, Finn. And before you say anything else, I do _not_ want your commentary on the handcuffs."

"Why don't they just do it?"

"Because this is _RENT,_ Finn, not porn. Although, in the _musical_..."

"Really?"

"Sort of. Later in the plot."

* * *

><p>"He went to MIT?"<p>

"Yes, but you have to remember this is all about bohemian lives. It's based off an opera La Bohème, so it's all about truth and love and beauty and freedom over everything else, including the rise of technology."

"You're just one of those people who can't just sit down and watch a movie, aren't you?"

"It's easier to understand if you know the background."

"I think it just ruined Christmas for me." After a moment of consideration, he added the query, "Is that offensive?"

"It really wasn't until you asked that question. And she's not an 'it,' Finn!"

"Sorry. Still. Wait, she killed a dog? Not cool!"

"She's a drag queen bucket drummer in NYC, I'm sure that's not the worst thing she's done for money."

"So those two are..." Finn gestured kind of awkwardly to indicate sex, and Kurt nodded. "And Collins is..."

"Finn, if you can't say gay, I'm not really sure we can have a conversation."

"But if she wants to be called a 'she,' does he really count as..."

"Don't overthink it, Finn, you'll give yourself a complex."

* * *

><p>"Why is he going to help his ex-girlfriend fix her sound stuff?"<p>

"Why did you forgive Quinn? Men do weird things when it comes to women, don't ask me."

"I don't really want to talk about Quinn."

"Then watch the movie."

"So, they're lesbians?"

"Yes."

"Awesome!"

"Your reaction is extremely disturbing."

"So, she's like a ladykiller? Or a maneater? Or… both?"

"You're thinking too hard, I can smell the smoke."

_When you're dancing her dance  
><em>_You don't stand a chance  
><em>_Her grip on romance makes you fall  
><em>_So you think, might as well  
><em>_Dance a tango to hell  
><em>_At least I'll have tangoed at all_

"They swear a lot."

"Indeed."

"Is that why you swore? Or have you been spending too much time with _Puck_?"

"Shut up."

"Wow, she's really hot."

"She is admittedly attractive."

"She looks a little bit like Rachel though."

"…_And_ you killed it for me."

"A lot like Shelby."

"That I'll agree on."

"Do you think she and Mr. Schue..."

"I really don't want to have this discussion."

"Actually, me either. Ew."

* * *

><p>"Mark is so smooth." Kurt snorted.<p>

"So, they all have AIDS?"

"Or HIV, yes. It's an AIDS support group, where they talk about the state of their respective conditions and try to cheer each other up."

"This is totally sad."

"Oh, just wait. It gets sadder."

"Damn."

"On the bright side, the next scene is the stripper scene."

"Yes!"

_No other road  
><em>_No other way  
><em>_No day but today_

"That was really sad."

"In this context, yes, but it's also inspiring. Uplifting. Very bohemian. It's the credo of the show."

* * *

><p>"Wow, she's hot."<p>

"Every time I try to this movie sound deep and intellectual, you just get distracted by Rosario Dawson's beauty."

"Sure, I'm definitely looking at her beauty."

"Pervert."

"Damn, she put on clothes."

"With the exception of Scout Willis, most women walk the streets of NYC clothed."

"Who?"

"Never mind. Pay attention to Rosario."

_So let's find a bar  
><em>_So dark we forget who we are  
><em>_Where all the scars  
><em>_From the nevers and maybes die!_

"So, she dances and sleeps around and flirts because she's miserable?"

"Yes, that's probably why most women do it."

"I'm gonna feel really sleazy if I ever go to a strip club, aren't I?"

"Most decent guys do, but you'll probably still go."

"Where's she from? She said something about Spanish babies..."

"We're not really sure."

* * *

><p>"Why the hell would he reject her?"<p>

"He doesn't want to become involved in a relationship because he knows anyone he sleeps with becomes high risk for contracting HIV. That's why he keeps saying, 'I should tell you,' and then deciding otherwise."

"He doesn't have to yell at her though."

"He's trying to scare her off without trying to tell her."

"She sounds like the AIDS people."

"That's the idea."

"So she has..."

"Yep."

"But then why can't they?"

"He doesn't know that she has it, and she doesn't know that he has it, not that she cares."

"Damn. She's a really pretty singer."

"Never let Rachel hear you say that. She would extol the virtues of Daphne Rubin-Vega over Rosario Dawson for _hours_. Rachel prefers the original Broadway cast, always, and laments the fact that Ms Rubin-Vega was seven months pregnant during filming and thus couldn't play her former stripper role."

"Yikes." Finn paused to contemplate the horror, either of Rachel talking for hours or a pregnant stripper, Kurt wasn't sure. "Why is everyone gathering around behind her suddenly?"

"Because this is a musical, Finn, and there are still a few elements of staging."

"That was a cool song."

"I told you so."

* * *

><p><em>Will I lose my dignity?<br>__Will someone care?  
><em>_Will I wake tomorrow  
><em>_From this nightmare?_

"Okay, that song was super coolly done, with the round thing, but you didn't tell me this was so sad."

"You never would have watched it with me."

* * *

><p>"What's so good about Santa Fe?"<p>

"To them, New York is a cesspool filled with AIDS, drugs, economic problems, assholes, gross people, and generally the stench of urine, with harsh winters and terrible memories. Of course, being on a subway probably emphasizes all these things. So, they think Santa Fe is a smaller city, warm, charming, kind of out of the way of national affairs, and that it would be a nicer place to settle down and build a life, practicing their bohemian ideals without censure."

"Like... marriage and stuff?"

"People can build a life without getting married, but yes, probably. Though Collins and Angel couldn't get married in New Mexico, at this point they also couldn't in New York."

"Can they now?" Kurt shrugged, knowing the legislation was on the floor of the Senate but nothing further.

* * *

><p>"Finn, if you're uncomfortable you don't have to look." Kurt couldn't stop his tone from being disappointed.<p>

"Nah, dude, it's cool."

"Really? Because I distinctly recall you having very different coloring before the two men started singing to each other."

"You and Puck do this all the time."

"Finn, I know you work hard to accept me, but it's different when it's two strangers you don't know, especially on screen."

"I'm fine."

"Fine." Kurt proved his point by starting to sing along.

_I think they meant it  
><em>_When they said you can't buy love  
><em>_Now I know you can rent it  
><em>_A new lease you are my love  
><em>_On life, oh my life_

"I think I'm gonna go to the bathroom."

"I thought so."

"Sorry."

* * *

><p>"It's safe to come out now!" Kurt yelled down the hall towards the bathroom.<p>

"Is this the protest?" Finn asked as he ran to sit back down. Kurt nodded, focused on the movie. "She's making fun of him right? With Cyberland and Diet Coke and stuff?"

"Yes, though I do admit that her chosen metaphor is a little weird."

"Wow, she just called him out by name! Awesome."

"It's not like she isn't comfortable with him. They were all roommates once: Roger, Mark, Collins, Maureen, and Benny."

"Dude, if I said anything about 'a female thing,' I would get in so much trouble!"

"I really doubt Joanne is going to berate her."

"Ew, ew, ew, this cow thing just got weird."

"Try not to think about what that could be a euphemism for."

Finn glared at him. "You suck." Kurt couldn't help but snort at Finn's unintentional continuation of the euphemism. "Ew, _Kurt_!"

"Sorry, I couldn't help myself."

"She's making the crowd moo with her?"

"I said she was attractive, I didn't dare claim she was sane."

* * *

><p>"What kind of news program wants something like that?"<p>

"A cheap news program, a little local one trying to make it in bohemian New York. Plus, this kind of organized uprising from the downtrodden artists would have been _wildly_ entertaining to the rest of the populace."

"That little cafe seems cool. The host is kind of a jerk, though."

"The Live Café! It's probably annoying for him to have someone taking up a table who can't afford to eat out."

"Still. Oh, look, it's asshole."

"In the flesh."

"He's just stomping on them because he doesn't believe in the whole Bohemia thing?"

"To be fair, the bohemian lifestyle also focuses around things that are _free_, which isn't very good for a businessman with a rich wife."

Finn cracked up laughing. "Now I'm totally glad Angel killed his dog."

"I'll suppress my surprise that you got that. It took me a viewing or two."

"She has a tattoo on her..."

"Yeah."

"Awesome. We need to do this number in Glee."

"As long as Rachel doesn't do that. Plus, you'll think a little differently by the end. The bohemian lifestyle is very... very... blunt."

"Hot."

"You didn't hear a word I just said, did you?"

"What the fuck kind of food are they ordering?"

"It's called high class food, Finn. Not everyone in New York City eats pizza three meals a day. Although they could, and probably go a whole year without eating at the same pizzeria twice."

"Awesome."

"Did they just say..."

"Yeah. I told you they were blunt."

"More like kinky."

"And forward. An interpretation of the bohemian lifestyle is to be very... open about things like that."

"Yeah, I noticed. Hot." Finn continued to listen closely as Kurt mouthed along to the familiar song. "What are trisexuals?"

"You don't want to know."

"I don't understand half of this stuff!"

"They make some obscure references, I'll admit. The first time I watched it, I had to Google some of the things they were saying."

"The Sex Pistols! Awesome!" Finn cleared his throat. "Sodomy is..."

"Yes, Finn. What you're thinking."

"Right. Do we really get to see her in bubble wrap?"

"No, they're still making fun of Benny by proposing outrageous protests that are very bohemian."

"What's a vocoder?"

"A complex machine that can be used to make synth with your voice."

"You really did look this stuff up, didn't you?" Finn waited until the end of the song to comment again. "Wait, they did it? Gross!"

"He's a wealthy businessman. He probably met her at the Cat Scratch Club."

"So, they finally just figured out that they both have AIDS?"

"Yes, AZT is medicine for HIV. Stands for azidothymidine."

"Why do you know that?"

* * *

><p>Kurt sighed dramatically. "Cue long romantic duet that I'll probably have to hear from you and Rachel in Glee shortly."<p>

_Trusting desire, starting to learn  
><em>_Walking through fire without a burn  
><em>_Clinging a shoulder a leap begins  
><em>_Stinging and older, asleep on pins_

"We're not gonna sing this, dude."

"I'm holding you to that."

* * *

><p>"What do you think cops would do if you mooed at them?"<p>

"You all by yourself with no context? Take you to a psych ward. A group of people with a news story doubtlessly spreading at the speed of the internet around New York City about a protest focused metaphorically around cows? Probably not much."

"Hey, they just used the... that word! Totally uncool!"

"Yes, but they're not using it as an insult, and many of them are... not straight."

"They're like cool hippies, aren't they?"

"Pretty much."

* * *

><p>"Oh, god, not this song again!"<p>

"Finn, it's just a transition. This is where Act II begins in the stage version, so unless they made something up, they would have nothing to put on screen."

* * *

><p>"Angel's kind of kickass, isn't he?"<p>

"You mean 'she,' but yes, she is."

"Sorry. I thought you said gay people couldn't get married in New York at this point."

"Actually, you know, I never thought that through. I guess she's proposing a civil union."

* * *

><p>"Who gets drunk at their own... wedding-thing?"<p>

"People that aren't big fans of commitment and still decide to have commitment ceremonies."

"Flirting at your wedding-thing is _not_ cool!"

"Please stop calling it a 'wedding-thing.' It's a commitment ceremony. And as abhorrent as the behavior is, it leads to awesome duets."

"Isn't this the one that Mercedes and Rachel did for their diva-off?"

"I was not there, but I believe so. Please prevent your mind from pondering the implications of that."

"Too late. Maureen's not very good at flirting her way out of her problems."

"More like flirting her way into them. And to be honest, I could never imagine this pair working. Joanne is a Harvard educated lawyer and Maureen is a bohemian impromptu performer."

"So, you mean kind of like the badass, sex shark jock and the prissy, gay, cheerleader Gleek as a couple?"

"Shut up."

* * *

><p>"She's so awesome."<p>

"I'm telling your girlfriend that you have a crush on Rosario Dawson."

"She got them their apartment back! How is that not awesome?"

"Just wait."

"Oh, dude, this is really sad."

"Her life is kind of sad. Makes you really rethink the stripper glamour, huh?"

"I hate this movie." Finn watched with poorly-veiled horror. "Why is she puking into a bathtub?"

"She was an addict. All the shivering and vomiting and general misery occurring onscreen are symptoms of withdrawal."

"Oh."

"This is why we don't do drugs, Finn. Please tell Rachel that next time she picks up speed."

"Why did that guy disappear?"

"Take a wild guess."

"Who's that next to Collins?"

"Angel, as usual."

"Oh, wow, she really is a dude!"

"This is the moment you decide to call her 'she'? Really?"

"So is Mimi back on drugs or sleeping with Benny or what?"

"Probably both, definitely sleeping with Benny."

"Gross. Roger is so much cooler."

"On that, we can agree."

* * *

><p>"Are you okay?"<p>

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because it's a funeral."

"My mother didn't die of AIDS and her funeral wasn't in a church. I've seen this movie twenty plus times. I'm fine."

"I've known you for long enough never to believe you when you say that." There was a long pause as Collins poured his heart out. "This is the same song he sang before."

"But with no Angel."

"Dude, come here."

"Finn-" Finn tugged him over and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "Isn't this too gay for you?"

"Just watch the movie."

* * *

><p>"Who argues at someone's funeral?"<p>

"Assholes who can't get along for long enough to be respectful to someone who has just lost the pinnacle of their existence." Kurt sounded bitter, like he was speaking from experience.

"...Right. So they're all separating? Why?"

"Because it's too painful to be around each other, with no Mimi or Angel, and broken relationships."

"Glee does it."

"Glee manages, and we're not the healthiest group." Kurt sighed. "There's a deleted scene in the extras called 'Halloween,' with Mark just walking through the graveyard singing."

_How did we get here?  
><em>_How the hell  
><em>_Pan left, close on the steeple of the church  
><em>_How did I get here?  
><em>_How the hell, Christmas, Christmas Eve, last year_

_How could a night so frozen  
><em>_Be so scalding hot?  
><em>_How can a morning this mild  
><em>_Be so raw?_

_Why are entire years strewn  
><em>_On the cutting room floor of memories  
><em>_When single frames from one magic night  
><em>_Forever flicker in close-up on the 3-D IMAX of my mind?_

_That's poetic, that's pathetic  
><em>_Why did Mimi knock on Roger's door  
><em>_And Collins choose that phone booth  
><em>_Back where Angel set up his drums?_

_Why did Maureen's equipment break down?  
><em>_Why am I the witness?  
><em>_And when I capture it on film  
><em>_Will it mean that it's the end and I'm alone?_

* * *

><p>"This is the first rock I've heard in a while, but it's still really sad, dude."<p>

"Don't call me dude, and it has a happy ending. Kind of."

"How can something have a happy ending when one of the main characters has already died?"

"Depends on your definition of happy. They reunite, at least."

_Don't breathe too deep, don't think all day  
><em>_Dive into work, drive the other way  
><em>_That drip of hurt, that pint of shame  
><em>_Goes away, just play the game_

* * *

><p>"He reprogrammed the ATM? That's so sweet, and also awesome."<p>

"Oh, Finn, you big softie, you."

"Oh, my God, she just died!"

"Oh, relax."

_Your eyes  
><em>_The ones that took me by surprise  
><em>_The night you came into my life  
><em>_Where there's moonlight  
><em>_I see your eyes_

"The end of this movie is weird and sad."

"Slightly unrealistic, yes, but also very sweet."

"And long. Like, dramatically drawn out long."

"You can't tell me you didn't enjoy the movie."

"I hate you for making me watch it."

"Not the same thing. And how can you hate it? There were strippers, lesbians, and ass."

"Yeah, but the stripper almost died, the lesbians broke up, and there was only ass once!"

* * *

><p>Kurt looked down at his outfit for about the thousandth time, doubting what it said about the meeting, but thankfully he was already at the Lima Bean and it was too late for his thousand and first outfit change. Whatever his outfit said, it was already out in the open.<p>

Kurt was expecting Blaine at around two fifty, knowing the tenor was always early, but he had arrived at the coffee shop by two forty to snag them a table. He had also bought Blaine his usual, something else he was feeling uncertain about. Did friends really buy friends coffee? Blaine had, tons of time, but they hadn't been the normal kind of friends. Was that the kind of thing the rest of the world recognized as a tip-off? Kurt resolved not to think too much about it.

Blaine walked through the door at about five to three, and Kurt waved him over to the table. Judging by his attire, Blaine had also worried about his outfit, but he had an automatic out: he had worn his Dalton uniform. In the summer. "Really?" Kurt asked as Blaine sat down, and the tenor chuckled nervously, taking a sip of his coffee.

"I had no idea what to wear." Blaine fiddled with his tie. "And before you say anything, I didn't ask you here to get back together, which is apparently what getting coffee universally means for exes… which I only found out _after_ I sent the texts."

"To be honest, I didn't know that until Finn told me," Kurt admitted, making Blaine smile.

"Wes did the same for me. I didn't know how else to apologize," he admitted. "I just… there's so much to say." Kurt started praying to anything listening that Blaine wouldn't start in on one of his semi-romantic soliloquies. "I miss you, Kurt, I really do, and I know that you wouldn't be here if you didn't miss me." Asshole or not, Blaine knew him well. "I know I'm not exactly your favorite person, far from it, but…" Blaine sighed, running a hand through his hair in his typical nervous gesture and mussing his gel. "I don't know what to say."

"Well, there's forgiving, which is possible, and there's forgetting, which is-"

"Never gonna happen," Blaine finished the thought. "I expected no less," he commented with a little smile, and Kurt was finding it hard to be angry with him after months. "I am sorry. I hope you know that."

"I do," Kurt acknowledged. "When I said we couldn't be friends, I was angry and hurt and confused, and quite frankly embarrassed by your song. But I guess I'm not angry anymore." Blaine smiled at the positive news and then there was silence. Silence between two exes wasn't the most comfortable kind of silence, but Kurt sipped his coffee and waited for Blaine to say something, considering the meeting had been his idea.

"How are you?" Blaine finally asked after they had both finished their coffee in the semi-awkward silence. "I know the last time we talked you were…" Blaine trailed off. Kurt wasn't sure if it was because the tenor couldn't remember the last time they had talked or he didn't want to talk about Noah, but either way it didn't really matter.

"I was considering Noah," Kurt completed the sentence.

"And how did that go?" Kurt bristled at the smug tone of Blaine's voice but tried hard not to show it.

"Really well," he said brightly, vindicated by the look of surprise on Blaine's face, "briefly a little less well, and then really well again." Well, that was the cookie-cutter version, but Kurt knew _exactly_ what Blaine would say if he learned Noah had broken Kurt's heart, and he really didn't want to hear it.

"Oh, that's… good," Blaine said calmly, but Kurt noticed how tightly he was clutching his coffee cup. "Is that who you were out with?"

"Yes," Kurt answered calmly. "And what about you?"

"Not a date," Blaine muttered, and the countertenor could tell that he was struggling to keep his cool. "I was just out to dinner with an old friend; the hostess is kind of judgmental."

"We already knew that," Kurt said with a little uncomfortable laugh, but Blaine all of the sudden wasn't in a laughing mood.

"So what changed?" Blaine asked, still calm. "What convinced you that Noah was a good… candidate?" The tenor was angry, Kurt could tell, but if Blaine wasn't going to say anything, he certainly wasn't.

"You did, actually," Kurt admitted, and Blaine's cup was starting to give way under his grip. "After we talked, I realized that while Noah's far from perfect, he's miles from who he used to be. And now that we've… sorted everything out, he makes a good boyfriend." Kurt tried to keep the besotted smile to himself, because he didn't know why Blaine was acting this way, jealousy or anger or something entirely unrelated to himself, but if the tenor was going to try to be civil than he would do his best to be helpful.

"What does… sorting out entail?" Blaine asked, realizing that he was in danger of crushing his cup and releasing it. Instead, he put his hands in his lap so Kurt could no longer measure his emotions. The Warbler was far too good at keeping his face an emotionless mask.

"Well, you know about Noah's… reputation," Blaine had heard most of the story from Kurt at his angriest, so the bias he had placed on the facts was _not_ positive, "and there's so much you don't know, but the bottom line is that I wanted to keep a close eye on him and our relationship. So there were some rules implemented." Kurt didn't know how else to put it.

"That sounds healthy," Blaine muttered, and the comment clearly wasn't meant for Kurt's ears, but he had heard it.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kurt demanded, because he was getting a little tired of whatever passive-aggressive crap Blaine was pulling.

"You don't even trust him, Kurt!" Blaine exclaimed, and apparently that was the last straw. "I know I sound jealous, but you make me so _angry_!You won't even listen to me! I blew my chance, I _know_ that, Kurt, but overcompensating is just an absolutely lousy thing to do!"

"Noah is _not_ overcompensation," Kurt said immediately, but Blaine snorted.

"Bullcrap. Name _one_ way in which Noah is not my exact opposite!"

"Maybe I just realized you're everything I don't want," Kurt hissed.

"The _exact_ definition of overcompensation, trying to pretend there was nothing positive about your ex! Even _you_ realize, on some level, that he isn't right for you! What kind of rules are there, huh? That you have to know where he is and who he's with and what he's doing at all times? That sounds like a healthy relationship to me!" Blaine slammed his fist down and stood up from the table. "I bet he's not even allowed to touch you, huh?" he hissed, leaning in close, trying to tower over Kurt. "He's done so well getting into the pants of everyone else in Lima!"

"You are _way_ out of line," Kurt said as he stood up, too, refusing to be intimidated. "Just because I trust Noah, doesn't mean I'm naïve! I know how he's treated people in the past, and I know he's not exactly the dating type. All I wanted was for him to know what I expect of him!"

"Tell me that those rules, not one, aren't based on the fact that you don't trust him not to be a philandering bastard!" Blaine yelled, not caring about the attention they were getting from the other customers and the staff of the Lima Bean. "Tell me that you trust him enough to not _need_ those rules, and I'll believe you."

Kurt fumed, his mouth tightening into a line, but he knew they needed the rules, not because he didn't trust Noah, but because without them they would have no way to control their relationship. He couldn't even say it.

"Exactly," Blaine said, taking Kurt's silence as proof. "I hope someday, Kurt, you'll find someone good enough for you," Blaine started gathering his things, obviously figuring he had won the argument. He tossed his cup in the nearby trashcan and threw his messenger bag over his shoulder, stopping by the side of the table to deliver a final comment. "Someone who's _not_ a lying, obnoxious, vulgar, careless, ignorant, insensitive-"

Kurt cut Blaine's sentence off by slapping him as hard as he could, the _smack_ reverberating through the café that went completely silent. Blaine's head recoiled, the tenor putting a hand to his face in disbelief after a few seconds and spitting out a mouthful of blood. "I'm glad he broke your nose," Kurt said, suddenly so mad he could barely see straight. "I wish I had done the same thing. Rot in hell, Blaine Anderson."

* * *

><p>Kurt was still shaking with anger when he reached his house, slamming the door to the Navigator in a way he never did because he loved his baby, as he walked up the steps. "I'm guessing that didn't go well?" Finn's smug tone was annoying similar to Blaine's.<p>

"Bite me," Kurt said as he threw his messenger bag down on the couch next to his brother. "I just… I forgot," he said as he sat down in the armchair, sighing and burying his head in his hands. That had _not_ been his plan for the afternoon.

"Forgot?" Finn prompted when Kurt had been quiet for a minute or two.

"Noah loathes Blaine, that much is obvious, but I forgot how much Blaine hates Noah. He thinks he's philandering and ignorant and untrustworthy."

"I… okay," Finn mumbled, and Kurt smiled to himself.

"Philandering means cheating."

"Well, he's kind of right, dude," Finn said, and Kurt rolled his eyes.

"As always, Finnegan, your words have been insightful and illuminating." Finn looked at him in that masked confusion that meant he didn't quite get it, and Kurt sighed. "Never mind. The bottom line is: Blaine's a jerk."

"We already knew that," Finn pointed out, and Kurt felt like sighing again.

"And now I have to go apologize to my boyfriend." Kurt left his messenger bag by the couch (he had only brought it to clutch the strap through the awkward conversation) and grabbed his keys, needing to head for the Puckerman household.

"Why?" Finn asked.

"Because I need him figuratively ready to walk through fire for me in four days."

* * *

><p>Kurt was more than used to knocking on Noah's door; he only hoped he wasn't interrupting an early dinner or anything. Ms. Puckerman's car was in the driveway, so the woman was definitely home.<p>

In fact, she was the one who answered the door, fearlessly throwing it open instead of checking to see who it was with the chain on (like Noah normally did). "Kurt!" she exclaimed, but she didn't sound unhappy to see him. "What are you doing here?"

"Is Noah home?" Kurt asked, because Noah's truck was in the driveway, but it was unusual that the jock hadn't answered the door. Especially since Ms. Puckerman was wearing an apron and appeared to be in the middle of making dinner. "I need to speak to him."

"He's upstairs in Sarah's room, doubtlessly being forced to play Barbies with her." Ms. Puckerman opened the door a little wider and stepped out of Kurt's way. "I don't think she actually likes the game, but she rather enjoys torturing her brother by making him play it." Kurt chuckled, because that sounded like Sarah. "Maybe you're too polite for tacit invitations; come in, sweetie. I was just starting to make dinner."

"I'm sorry to interrupt," Kurt said, but Ms. Puckerman dismissed it with a wave of her hand.

"You're always welcome here, Kurt. You're the first good one my son has brought home in a while." Kurt raised his eyebrow, wondering who else could fit into the category with him. "There's Rachel, a lovely Jewish girl, and Quinn, who can be sweet once you get past the icy edges, though she's not right for my Noah, and Brittany, who is lovely in her ditziness, and of course, Santana."

"You like Santana?" Kurt asked in surprise.

"You don't?" Ms. Puckerman asked with a raised eyebrow. "I know about her reputation, of course, but it's the same reputation my son has. Underneath it all I think she is a good woman, perhaps a little too grown up for her age, and she cares for Noah. Not in the same way you do, that's obvious, but I thought she was good for him. They understand each other better than even I know. Plus, she's good with Sarah." Ms. Puckerman obviously knew a lot more about Noah's life than Kurt had given her credit for knowing. "Do you want to come help me in the kitchen a little, faygala? Noah will become fed up with Barbie's superficiality soon enough."

"I… sure," Kurt said, because he realized from Ms. Puckerman's gaze that it wasn't really an offer. She wanted to talk to him.

Ms. Puckerman told him that they were making Parmigiano and Herb Chicken Breast Tenders, which oddly enough was not a food either of her dietary-immature children objected to eating, and set him to creating the breading. "So, how long have you been seeing my son?"

"A few months," Kurt said, because he couldn't pinpoint a date in his head that was their official anniversary. Their first kiss? Their first date? Nationals? Their second first date?

"You seem like you're the kind of person who could give me something a little bit more definitive than that," Ms. Puckerman said coolly, but her tone was unmistakable: she was giving Kurt the boyfriend third-degree, which was actually pretty funny, all things considered.

"Depends on who you ask and when they started counting," Kurt said innocently.

"How long have you been working at your father's shop?"

"Since I was seven," Kurt answered honestly, deciding that was the best policy for things unrelated to Noah. For their relationship… there were always white lies.

"Ever thought about taking a look at that hunk of metal Noah calls a truck?" she asked with a laugh as she beat what sounded like eggs and water.

"He won't let me get my hands on it," Kurt said with a chuckle, because he wasn't actually scared of Ruth. More curious why she was interrogating him.

"Any thoughts on college? You and Noah are seniors after all."

"Julliard would be my first choice," Kurt admitted. "I know it's a long shot, but I really want to pursue musical theater. I definitely want to be in New York, though I may end up at NYU," he said with a shrug.

"Not the most certain career." Ms. Puckerman was again speaking in that questioning parent voice.

"I would look at fashion as my main back-up," Kurt said, "and maybe a mechanic if neither of those things pan out."

"How's Finn? Does he have any plans for college?" And they were back to pretending like she wasn't interrogating him.

"He's great, at the moment. Things are going well with Rachel, I know that much. She's interested in New York and musical theater, like me, so we'll all three probably end up there. As for his college plans, you would have to ask him. I, personally, think he would make a great teacher."

"I agree," Ms. Puckerman said, "he does so love kids. Plus, he tends to… have a childish disposition."

"Very diplomatic," Kurt said with a chuckle.

"Do you cook often?" she asked. "You seem rather skilled in the kitchen."

"Before my dad married Carole, I used to cook all the meals," Kurt admitted as he finished up the breading. "Now I share the responsibility with her, but she works long hours so I chip in whenever she'll let me." Ms. Puckerman smiled at him.

"Do you want to make the tomato sauce?" she asked as she carried the breading over to her bowls of flour and egg mixtures. "It's a simple one, I have the recipe right here."

"Sure," Kurt said, realizing this was more of an option, but also knowing that Ms. Puckerman had more she wanted to ask him. Kurt was adding extra virgin olive oil, onions, and garlic to a saucepan when Ms. Puckerman asked him the big one.

"Are you sleeping with my son?" Kurt's pan dropped to the counter with a loud clang. "I'm sorry to have startled you," was all she said, not jumping or apologizing for the question.

"No," Kurt answered. "No, I'm not."

Ms. Puckerman nodded. "I thought not. I considered asking you about your intentions, but I'm sure that's more the kind of question your father has for Noah." Ms. Puckerman sighed. "I know it may not seem like it, but my son can be… delicate, even vulnerable. I know he likes to call himself a badass, but that all started when his father left." Ms. Puckerman didn't sound upset, more angry than anything. "He doesn't let people get close because he doesn't want to get hurt. You're pretty close, and I don't want you to hurt him."

"I don't want to hurt him," Kurt said honestly, looking down at and continuing his work rather than turning to face her.

"I know you see more than the womanizing badass he's turned himself into, and that's a rare quality. Take care of him," she insisted.

"I will, Ms. Puckerman."

"Call me Ruth."

"Ruth."

"So, if I wanted to, where could I start counting?" Kurt sighed. "Or do I not want to know?"

"You probably don't want to know," he admitted, and the mother sighed.

"I thought so. I know my son can be stupid and thoughtless, but do keep in mind he's a good man."

"I know that," Kurt said honestly. "If I didn't, I wouldn't be here right now."

"And I hope this Blaine fellow is long gone." Kurt tensed a little when he heard the name. "Because whatever he did to you gets Noah in a tizzy every time it gets mentioned, which is usually by him."

"He's gone, Ruth."

"Since?"

"Earlier this afternoon," Kurt said before he could think about it, and Ruth laughed.

"Ah, to be young and in love. God bless you crazy fools." Kurt didn't correct her about love. "I would continue giving you the third degree, but the next question that pops to mind is if you want kids, and I don't even know Noah's answer to that."

"Yes," Kurt said, and he could feel Ms. Puckerman's gaze on him. "I think because of Sarah, Noah really wants kids." Beyond the kid he already had, but Kurt was smart enough not to bring that up in front of Ms. Puckerman.

"And do you?" she asked.

"Every minute I spend with Sarah or Stevie and Stacy Evans warms me up to the idea," Kurt admitted, making the woman chuckle.

"Good." Kurt jumped when she smacked him on the butt with a dish towel. "I think you're good for him. Now, go get him, and tell him dinner will be done in half an hour. I can take over on the damn sauce."

Kurt walked upstairs, not stopping to muse on the strange exchange he had just had with Ms. Puckerman. Noah's room was empty (though Kurt was impressed by how much his boyfriend had tidied up the former pig-sty), so Kurt continued to Sarah's room. The door was open, so Kurt stuck his head in.

"Kurt!" Sarah proclaimed eagerly. "Come play Barbies with me!"

"I would love to, Sarah, but dinner will be ready in about half an hour, and I need to talk to your brother real quick." Sarah pouted at him as Noah scrambled to his feet, clearly glad to have an excuse to abandon the game.

"But Noah doesn't like Barbies."

"Maybe some other time, Sarah."

"After dinner?" she asked, and Kurt sighed.

"We'll see," Kurt said as he headed back for Noah's room.

"Not that I'm complaining, princess, but why do you smell like cheese?" Noah asked as he followed the countertenor back to his room.

"I was helping your mom cook," he explained as he ushered Noah in and shut the door behind him. He then turned and grabbed his boyfriend in a hug.

"Woah, Kurt, what's wrong?" Noah asked, his tone concerned, immediately wrapping his arms around Kurt.

"Well, the fact that you're drenched in Axe body spray would be problem number one," Kurt said dryly, still not letting go of the jock. Instead, he buried his face in the crook of Noah's neck. "I'm sorry," he murmured into the skin there, two of his least favorite words.

"For?" Noah prompted, not because he was trying to make a point but because he really had no clue why Kurt was apologizing. The countertenor smiled to himself.

"Yesterday," Kurt replied, still snuggled rather close. "I ruined our date."

"Princess, I was just being cranky," Noah dismissed the incident. "It's fine," he assured Kurt, running a hand up and down his back soothingly. Apparently, he thought Kurt was crying or something.

"I went to see Blaine today," he admitted, and this wasn't what they were supposed to be talking about. He needed to invite Noah to Friday Night Dinner.

"Oh?" Noah asked, and Kurt could feel him tense.

"He invited me out for coffee." Judging by the muscle tension he was surrounded by, that statement did _not_ calm his boyfriend. "He wasn't trying to get with me again." That one did. "He just wanted to apologize."

"How'd that go?" Noah asked, and Kurt could tell he was trying to keep his cool. The jock had gotten better, but he still had a temper, and Blaine ignited it by existing.

"I slapped him and told him to rot in hell," Kurt muttered and Noah started laughing, tightening his hold around his boyfriend for a second.

"Oh, princess, that's exactly why I like you." Kurt smacked his boyfriend's unfairly firm chest without pulling away. "What?"

"I didn't _intend_ to do that when I walked in," he explained. "He's apparently still anti-Purt-"

"Purt?" Noah asked in confusion.

"Apparently, Finn is getting to me," was the only way Kurt explained it. "Anyway, he started badmouthing you and telling me that you were just my overcompensation and that you're not good enough for me and you aren't worth anything. So I slapped him." Noah pulled him away a little roughly by the arms, but only to kiss him instead: deep, desperate, passionate kisses that confused the crap out of Kurt. "Did I do something right or wrong?" he asked when Noah finally released him, keeping them at arm's length.

"I… nothing," Noah suddenly muttered, and Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Okay, Mr. I'm-Macho-So-I-Don't-Have-Feelings, whatever you say."

Noah appeared to be deep in thought. "I don't think Purt works."

"That's really what you're focusing on right now?"

"Neither does Puckurt, which is what Quinn calls us."

Kurt took the bait. "Why not?"

"You don't call me Puck."

"And I never will again."

"What do you have against my nickname?"

"It's a character from Shakespeare, and a deviant one at that."

"I think it's cool."

"You would. Pretty much anything you can do to have a nickname that rhymes with your favorite activity for girls to scream out during, right?" Kurt asked with a raised eyebrow, and Noah rolled his eyes.

"Whatever, princess. We need a much better couple name than Purt or Puckurt."

Kurt sighed, because he knew he wouldn't get in any more serious conversation until Noah had made a decision. "Our names share no common letter."

Noah thought it through and nodded in acknowledgement. "What about last names?"

"A 'u,' an 'm,' an 'e…'" Kurt mused.

"Puckel?" Kurt shook his head. "_Hummerman_," Puck said with a grin. "Come on, dude, that's perfect: cars and dudes."

"Hummers are disgusting gas-guzzlers, Noah. Don't insult me."

"And your Nav gets how many mpg, exactly?" Noah asked with a smirk, and Kurt sighed.

"Still no."

"Puckermel? Humman?"

"Congratulations, Noah, you've officially discovered the word human." Noah frowned.

"Huckerman?"

"Reminds me of Huckleberry Finn," Kurt said with a smile.

"Which is what anyone would call a threesome between you, Rachel, and Finn."

"And suddenly I'm not hungry." Kurt wrinkled his nose. "And possibly never will be again."

"Another excuse not to eat, princess?"

"Shut up and just come up with a couple name, Noah, I need to talk to you about something."

Noah appeared to be considering it again, and then grinned in a way that made Kurt very nervous. "Pummel."

"Absolutely not."

"Come on, it's perfect!"

"I think that's more reminiscent of our _old_ relationship than our new one, Noah," Kurt said dryly, and Noah frowned at him.

"Come on, princess, it's awesome!"

Kurt sighed. He didn't even _care_ about their couple name. "Fine. We can be Pummel."

Noah grinned and kissed him. "Awesome. What did you want to talk about?"

Kurt narrowed his eyes at his boyfriend. "Exactly how much do you like me?"

"Shit. Why do you ask, princess?"

"My dad wants you to come over for Friday Night Dinner."

"Fuck, no."

"Noah, it's important. I think my dad could be okay with this, with _us_, if he sees us together and realizes you aren't trying to get in my pants."

"I am." Kurt thumped his boyfriend on the chest again.

"But you're not _just_ trying to get in my pants. You're also courting me, very well, if I might add. I like you, Noah, and I like your family. I want mine to like you. Carole's loved you since she met you, Finn's your best friend, or at least he was at one point, the only person you have to convince is my dad."

"Who hates me."

"Who hasn't killed you," Kurt corrected. "Not even at the shop." It always made Kurt nervous that his boyfriend worked for his father; the shop was a hotbed of potential murder weapons that his dad knew his way around.

"Yet."

Kurt sighed. "Please, Noah?" He gave in and tried the dirtiest boyfriend trick on the planet: the puppy-dog eyes. He looked up at Noah with big, pleading eyes, allowing his baby blues to tear up and his lower lip to pout out.

"Oh, come on, I have a little sister, don't try that crap on me." Still, Kurt persisted. Noah sighed eventually. "Fine. This Friday?"

Kurt grabbed his boyfriend and kissed him, and they stayed like that until Ruth called them down for dinner.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Again, I apologize for the long wait. I was going to try to do the whole just wrap up the story all at once thing, but I'm having trouble with the very last chapter, so I decided to just post these two. Still, we're near the end! And in celebration, I decided to again do a 'Finn and Kurt Watch a Musical' bit, because everyone seemed to enjoy it way back when. I pretty much went through the soundtrack of the RENT film and commented on every plot point that way, but I'll still list the songs that have their own little section, all from the RENT Original Motion Picture Soundtrack:**

_Seasons of Love _(used)  
><em>Rent<em> (used)  
><em>You'll See<br>__One Song Glory _(used)  
><em>Light My Candle<br>__Today 4 U  
><em>_Tango: Maureen _(used)  
><em>Life Support <em>(used)  
><em>Out Tonight <em>(used)  
><em>Another Day<br>__Will I? _(used)  
><em>Santa Fe<br>__I'll Cover You _(used)  
><em>Over the Moon<br>__La Vie Boheme  
><em>_I Should Tell You _(used)  
><em>La Vie Boheme B<br>__Seasons of Love B  
><em>_Happy New Year  
><em>_Take Me or Leave Me _(used)  
><em>Without You<br>__I'll Cover You_ (Reprise)  
><em>Goodbye Love<br>__Halloween_ (used)  
><em>What You Own <em>(used)  
><em>Finale A<br>__Your Eyes_ (used)  
><em>Finale B<em>

**Reviews are Love.**


	32. Dinner with the Hudmels

**A/N: More top notes (sorry), but this chapters gets a little... M-rated-y. It surprised me, too.**

* * *

><p>Kurt again had dinner at the Puckerman household, calling his dad and announcing this to him. He also made sure to apologize for not telling his dad he had come to Noah's and apologized <em>for<em> Finn that his idiot step-brother had immediately assumed he had to cover for Kurt and told Burt that the countertenor was having dinner with Mercedes' family. A cover-up that didn't work too well when Mr. Jones showed up to watch… Kurt didn't even know. What sports happened during summer? Some kind of game with his dad, anyway, and Finn wasn't good at thinking on his feet. He also made sure to tell his dad that Noah was coming over for dinner on Friday, and the grunt his father made in reply sounded _semi_-pleased.

Ms. Puckerman's simple dish turned out to be delicious, and she asked Kurt all about cars through the first part of the meal, occasionally inserting suggestions that Kurt work on their cars. Their conversation bored Sarah and annoyed Noah, who picked up on what was happening within three minutes and eventually put a stop to the subtle hints about his truck by declaring that some things a man had were just his and were _not_ supposed to be touched by significant others. He followed up that comment with one about 'no matter how talented his hands are,' earning himself a smack upside the head from his mother. The rest of dinner Sarah talked about school.

As promised, Kurt continued upstairs after dinner to play Barbies with Sarah, leaving his boyfriend to do the dishes like a good son. Ruth had to work the late shift and had kissed both her kids quickly, as well as hugged Kurt, before heading off directly after dinner, making Noah promise to put Sarah to bed at a good time.

"What's it called when two wizards end up together?" Sarah asked him as Kurt tried some different outfits on one of her Barbies, impressing the little girl with his fashion skills.

"Excuse me?" Kurt asked, because what?

"You and Noah," she explained, and Kurt had a vague memory of Noah saying that he had talked to Sarah about their troubles using wizards. "What's it called when two wizards end up together?"

"Maybe this is a conversation you should have with your brother," Kurt said uncomfortably, because he really shouldn't be teaching life lessons to his boyfriend's younger sister.

"I know what it _means_, Kurt," she said as though he was an idiot. "Stupid people don't like it when two boys end up together, but Noah says fuck them!"

"Sarah!" Kurt exclaimed, because had Noah seriously taught her that word? "You should _not_ be using language like that! You are a young lady!"

"Sorry," she muttered. "I just couldn't remember the word."

"Gay," Kurt said. "I'm gay."

"And Noah?" she asked, and Kurt's only answer was a shrug.

"You would have to ask him, Munster, I'm not sure." It didn't bother Kurt that Noah didn't want to define himself, at this point it was kind of the least of his worries, but Sarah frowned.

"He's not gay?"

"Nope."

"But he loves you," Sarah said simply, and where was Noah to rudely interrupt when Kurt actually _wanted_ him to?

"And how would you know that?" Kurt asked, trying to avoid where Sarah was going with the statement. In her simple worldview, dating a man made one gay, and that was fundamentally wrong, but Kurt wasn't going to be the one to correct her. That was her brother's job.

"You've been around here more than once." Kurt had to suppress the urge to laugh at that one. She was smart, the little Puckerman.

"So was Rachel, and Quinn, and Santana, and probably Brittany." Why was he arguing with a little girl about the fact that Noah didn't love him?

"But Rachel's crazy, Quinn's not Jewish, Santana's a whore-"

"Sarah!" Kurt tried to object again. What had Noah _taught_ this girl?

"And Brittany's dumb," she finished without remorse. "It's not that I don't love 'Tana, but that's what Quinn always called her."

Kurt sighed and pulled Sarah into his lap, abandoning the Barbies for the moment. "I think living with your brother has given you a little bit of a warped worldview," he told the little girl with a smile, feeling oddly guilty as the innocent, bright little hazel eyes, so much like Noah's, stared up at him. "Sometimes people come over _lots_ of times before they fall in love," he explained, "and I'm glad you approve of me, but it will probably be a long time before Noah falls in love with me." If ever, but Kurt didn't want to scare the girl. "And I'm not Jewish, Munster," he teased, but Sarah was being serious. Kurt wasn't quite sure when he had adopted Noah's nickname for his adorable little sister, but the girl didn't seem to mind.

"But Mommy loves you and so do I! Why doesn't Noah?" she asked, and sometimes Kurt forgot how _young_ she was because she was so much of a Puckerman.

"You'll have to ask him that, but even though Noah doesn't love me now, I think I'll be around for a while," Kurt confided in her with a smile, and she hugged him tightly.

"I like it when you're around."

"I like being here, Sarah."

* * *

><p>"Thank you for doing this, Mr. and Mrs. Hummel," Sam said gratefully as he stood on the doorstep of the Hummel-Hudson household.<p>

"Why are you thanking them?" Finn objected from behind a pile of bags. "I'm the one carrying all your stuff in."

"Quiet, Finn," Kurt admonished.

"Why aren't you helping?"

"It's called a manicure, and I don't want to ruin it." Finn walked upstairs with about half the bags all by his lonesome, muttering about 'stupid girly things' the whole way.

"It's actually still Hudson, sweetie," Carole said, and when Sam looked embarrassed, she hugged him, "but you should be calling me Carole anyway," she insisted. "Anything we can do to make your stay here more comfortable, just let me know."

"Feel like I'm running a halfway house," Burt complained quietly, and Kurt elbowed his father.

"Ignore him," he said to Sam, "he's just annoyed because he has to meet my boyfriend tomorrow." Burt grumbled some more about Noah, as he had for the past few days, since Kurt had convinced Noah to come to Friday Night Dinner. Apparently, agreeing to come hadn't earned Noah much favor, which was a little unfair.

"Puck's coming over for dinner?" Sam asked, and when Kurt nodded, his only comment was, "Cool."

"Any help?" Finn asked as he went for the other half. "Anyone?"

"I can carry some, dude," Sam said, going to help, but Carole stopped him.

"Nonsense, you're our guest, at least for a few hours more. Come on, I made a big lunch." Carole steered the unnatural blond towards the kitchen, not really giving the jock a choice in the matter. Finn sighed and picked up the other half of the bags.

"The _one_ time it would actually be nice to have your boyfriend around," Finn muttered to Kurt as he walked by.

"Stop being such a baby, Finn." Inside, Kurt mentally smiled at the fact Finn had called Noah his boyfriend. The word had been thrown around a lot during the past few weeks, but Finn's approval was important, and that sounded enough like approval for him.

Kurt followed Carole and Sam into the kitchen. He was glad that Sam had moved in. For one thing, the New Directions needed his voice and country style. For another, that meant Noah had one more ally in his house. And the former badboy would need all the help he could get. Oh, and he was fond of the blond boy, but that seemed tertiary to his primary concerns.

Carole hadn't been lying about a big lunch, there were enough carbs in the kitchen to ruin Kurt's appetite, but Sam looked like he was in hog heaven. Finn would be excited, too, once he stopped muttering about having to carry Sam's bags.

"How _is_ Noah, honey?" Carole asked as she sat Sam down, the blond boy too passive to resist the flood of motherly love Carole directed toward every child in her home, hers or not. "Don't let Burt intimidate him, you know your father's just a big teddy bear." That was a little creepy, but Kurt ignored it.

"A teddy bear with a gun," Kurt pointed out, making his step-mother laugh. "And he's fine. Surprisingly calm, considering he might be attending his own execution tomorrow." Noah had sounded calm on the phone last night. At least Sarah was feeling better. Maybe Noah should bring her as a buffer, he thought.

"Burt's not going to kill him," Carole insisted as she poured some lemonade for Sam, who was already devouring his third grilled cheese sandwich. "You would never forgive him for maiming your second serious boyfriend."

"Burt doesn't trust Noah." Probably some of that had to do with his first boyfriend, the one his dad _had_ trusted, Blaine, and how that had ended.

Carole clucked her tongue. "You've heard the stories of Burt's youth as many times as I have, probably more, and I don't know what stories your mother and he concocted to keep this from you, but Burt was a lot like Noah in high school."

"I know," Kurt said coldly, not liking the way Carole casually mentioned his mother in the semi-negative context of lying to one's children, "but that's the exact reason Dad doesn't trust him."

Carole rolled her eyes. "I'm sure it will be fine, honey," she placated him. "Let Noah be the nervous one."

* * *

><p>The dog days of summer had come early, and the next day was possibly the worst of them, hot and humid enough to put everyone (especially his father, who complained the ice-cold garage was too warm in the <em>winter<em>) in a bad mood, and made cooking all day the equivalent of torture. Still, Kurt had insisted on making all the food for the Friday Night Dinner confrontation between his boyfriend and his father, so he had kicked Carole out of the kitchen for a day. Her usual first attempt at motherly love (food) displaced, she took Finn and Sam school shopping (though it was far too early in the summer for it) and left Kurt alone in the house. The reason Kurt wanted to make the food was simple: with any luck, the food would be the centerpiece of the evening (as opposed to Noah's death), and he wanted everything to be perfect. He even included compromises on his dad's usually strict diet in order to put the gruff man in a better mood.

Kurt vaguely heard the door open, absorbed in his task, but since he didn't hear Carole's cheery hello or his dad's gruff 'is anyone home?' he figured it was either his step-brother or their new housemate, having somehow escaped from the arduous task of shopping with a lovingly overbearing mother. Therefore, a few moments later, Kurt jumped a foot and almost whacked his boyfriend with a frying pan when muscular arms suddenly wrapped around him.

"Easy, princess," Noah said with a grin, dodging Kurt's wild frying pan swing as the countertenor turned to face his boyfriend, briefly abandoning his cooking.

"You scared the…" Kurt trailed off. Partially because his boyfriend was very well aware of his successful attempt to startle Kurt, partially because another thought occurred to him, but mostly because the Mohawk was _gone_. Completely. Noah had shaved his head. "How did you get in here? And what did you do to your hair?"

"I copied Finn's key right after you moved in, and I thought I would look a little nicer without the 'hawk," the jock admitted with a shrug, and Kurt melted.

"I knew we shouldn't have given him one," Kurt mumbled. "You didn't have to do that, but thank you." Kurt gave his boyfriend a quick peck. "Why are you here?"

"I can't visit my boyfriend?"

"Your boyfriend is busy guaranteeing you won't be murdered tonight," Kurt said dryly.

"Let me guess, you took a big life insurance policy out on me."

Kurt scoffed. "That would only work if we were married, idiot." He unwrapped Noah's arms from around him and turned back to his work. "Almost all the food is done."

"So it's too late to get on a bus to Mexico?" Noah joked.

"My dad's not as scary as you think he is."

"And exactly how many guns does he own?"

Kurt sighed. "You will live through the night, I promise."

"I'm holding you to that, princess." Noah kissed him on the cheek. "Where's the rest of the house?" he asked as he finally backed out of Kurt's personal space and let the countertenor put the finishing touches on dinner.

"Carole took Finn and Sam shopping because I kicked her out of the kitchen, and Dad's at work."

"Oh, great, so he'll come back with a monkey wrench and a grudge."

"He already has both of those things," Kurt muttered.

"Not comforting, princess."

"I'm sorry," Kurt said without turning around, "but what exactly happened to the badass formerly known as Puck? Because I see no trace of him, and he was kind of hot." Not that Noah's newfound civility was a bad thing, but judging by his glower, he got the point. A certain amount of Puck's near-idiotic bravery would be required for the dinner. "You will be fine. If my dad hasn't killed you already, he probably won't, and he generally doesn't put this much training time into someone he plans to murder."

"Whatcha making?" Noah asked, very clearly changing the subject.

"The only dish I could think of that you, Sam, Finn, Carole, Rachel—yes, she is coming," he added quickly when Noah groaned, "but you know she'll be on your side, on _our_ side, and you need all the support you can get. Anyway, I'm making the only thing all of us can agree on that also is an agreeable compromise on my dad's normal heart-healthy diet." Kurt showed Noah the contents of the oven. "As well as a number of hors d'oeuvres and side dishes and a flour-less chocolate cake."

"Good, none of that bird-food crap you and Berry eat."

"If I ate like you, I would be fat," Kurt answered calmly, used to the typical opinion men in his life had about his dietary habits.

"Princess, you're not fat," Noah said immediately, but it was more of a groan, as if he was annoyed that he had to say it.

"I know, but I could be." Turning around, he quickly added, "And if you say, 'more cushion for the pushing,' you won't have to come to dinner tonight." Noah's lips pursed, and he was silent for a touch too long. "You can't be frightened enough of my dad to consider breaking us up to avoid him," Kurt said in disbelief, but Noah still seemed to be thinking. "Coward," the countertenor teased.

"Shut up, princess." Kurt turned back to his cooking. "It's hot as hell in here," Noah complained, and Kurt could hear fabric rustling.

"Put your shirt on."

"Make me." Kurt would never admit to the shiver that went down his spine at the husky tone of Noah's voice. His boyfriend wrapped his arms around Kurt before dropping the shirt on the counter.

"Noah, that is going to catch fire," Kurt complained, glad his voice remained steady, moving it. "And I _can_ make you."

"Oh, yeah?" Noah asked, pressing himself up against Kurt and kissing the back of his neck.

"Imagine what would happen to you if my father returned to find you in any state of undress," Kurt said calmly, and just like that, the shirt returned to its proper place.

* * *

><p>Once Kurt had told him his old man wouldn't be back for a while, Puck hung around while his boyfriend finished cooking. He hadn't been kidding before; it was hot as <em>hell<em> in the Hudmel kitchen, and while he kept at least his undershirt on at Kurt's insistence, he could see sweat dripping down the back of the countertenor's neck as he cooked. To be fair to mother nature, Kurt was wearing one of his ridiculous, outlandish, skin-covering outfits in mostly dark colors, which was dumb, but Puck knew his princess was nervous.

"And _done_!" Kurt proclaimed proudly, turning to the table where Puck was sitting. He had one or two splotches of food on his shirt and (though Puck would _never_ tell him) pit stains.

"I think you need a new outfit, princess," Puck said with a chuckle, and he'd never seen his boyfriend quite as horrified as Kurt was in that moment.

"I spent hours on this," Kurt complained. "What about…" Puck was listening, he really was, he just didn't understand a damn word his boyfriend was saying.

"Sit," he said, cutting off the flow of nonsense as Kurt headed for the stairs, the countertenor's hands fluttering madly with nerves.

"Noah, I need to change."

"_Princess_," Puck replied instantly, using the same 'talking to a small child' voice Kurt had, "you need to relax before you blow a gasket." Puck stood up to block his boyfriend's way.

"You barely know what a gasket is," Kurt complained, but he paused and wrung his hands.

"Sit," Puck said again, just a touch more patiently, and he waited to make sure Kurt listened before stepping away from the stairs. The countertenor sat down on the couch with an overly-dramatic huff, and Puck crossed the room to the refrigerator.

Kurt wasn't usually a big fan of the sugary stuff, but since it was in a pitcher, he'd probably made it himself. So, Puck grabbed the container and two glasses. He also took out a plastic container of mini-cakes that were probably Burt or Carole's (if they were Finn's, there wouldn't be any left) and some Cheez Doodles from the cabinet, since he knew they were Kurt's guilty pleasure. Then he walked out the door, confident in his plan.

It took a grand total of thirty seconds for Kurt's curiosity to overwhelm him, and Puck's boyfriend soon came out to check on him. "You listen well," Puck commented.

"I'm not a dog, Puckerman," was Kurt's snippy response, but he sat on the porch stairs next to his boyfriend, looking over the food Puck had brought out. "What is it with you and picnics?" Kurt clearly intended to sound snarky, but he actually sounded pretty charmed.

"What is it with you and ridiculous outfits?" he asked, and Kurt sighed.

"They're comforting," Kurt said quietly, looking at the ground, and Puck hadn't really expected an answer. "They're protection."

He didn't ask from what, because he knew the answer: assholes like the one he had been. "Come here, princess," he said as softly as he could, wrapping an arm around Kurt.

Kurt closed his eyes and leaned his head against Puck's shoulder. "They just… help, sometimes. I can hide behind them when I'm nervous, or use them to express myself when I'm too tired to stand up for what I believe in with my words and actions. They make me me, they're my signature, they're a part of me that I would feel lost without." Kurt sighed, opening his eyes. "Sorry, you didn't need to know that."

"It's fine, princess. We're boyfriends, aren't we supposed to share feelings and crap?" Kurt just laughed, allowing Puck to place a hand on his thigh. "Would I ask a question I didn't want the answer to?"

"If you were dared, in a heartbeat."

"You don't give me enough credit, princess."

"I give credit where credit is due." Kurt stuck his tongue out at his boyfriend, and in any other circumstance, Puck probably would have teased him about his fit of immaturity. Instead, he took the offered opportunity and kissed Kurt, sliding his tongue into his boyfriend's open mouth and making the countertenor gasp in surprise.

Still, he responded eagerly, kissing Puck in return and putting one hand on the back of his neck to keep him close. Puck maneuvered Kurt so his boyfriend was lying down on the deck, pinning the lithe boy under his weight. "Mmm," Kurt let out a little noise of pleasure as his hand wandered up. "Feels so weird for you to have a shaved head," he said breathily as Puck kissed the smooth skin along his jaw line, tugging all Kurt's elaborate shirts up to reveal smooth, pale skin. "Noah, we-_oh_-we really s-shouldn't," Kurt managed to get out as Puck let his hands wander over the newly-revealed skin, pushing up Kurt's top more.

"Figured I would cool you down, princess," Puck breathed in his ear, making Kurt squirm as he took his lips and tongue to the sensitive skin just below.

"D-don't leave a mark," Kurt insisted as Puck kissed and nipped down the line of Kurt's neck.

"Can't say it isn't tempting," he muttered, pulling back for a moment to notice with satisfaction Kurt's lust-blown eyes, barely blue, and the flush spreading across his face and down his neck and maybe further. "God, you're hot." He kissed his boyfriend again, taking advantage of Kurt's distraction to tug some of the layers up and pulling away just long enough to get everything off, chucking Kurt's beloved clothes towards the door (Kurt would never forgive him if they ended up in the muddy grass).

"Noah, I…" Kurt flushed some more, crossing his arms over his torso. The flush spread about halfway down chest, which was awesome. Instead of arguing with Kurt about how hot he was, Puck sat up (and he wasn't exactly sure how he'd ended up straddling his boyfriend, but he could definitely tell that Kurt was interested) and pulled off his own shirt as distraction, Kurt's objections melting into an "oh." Kurt's hand hesitantly stretched up and landed on his pec, brushing over the tanned skin just above his nipple. "Wow," Kurt breathed out, too shy to touch more.

"Glad you like it, princess," Puck teased, leaning back down to kiss at the warm skin of Kurt's chest.

"_Oh_, I… I… _Noah_," he let out a gasp as Puck's tongue teased one of his little pink nipples, tightening the bud into a hard peak and continuing to toy with it, letting his hand come up to lightly pinch the other one. "God," Kurt moaned out as Puck continued to kiss at his chest, one of the countertenor's hands on the back of his head urging him on.

"Someone's sensitive," Puck teased as he let his tongue dip into Kurt's navel, making the ticklish countertenor let out a short, breathless laugh.

"Apparently," he agreed, semi-eloquent, and that was _way_ too composed for someone with the Puckerone's mouth on him. So Puck rendered his boyfriend speechless by cupping the bulge in Kurt's pants, the countertenor letting out a groan as his body jerked towards the contact. "_Yes_, Noah," he panted out, and while Puck had expected a little bit of hesitance, he would take the positive reaction. "_Oh_," Kurt moaned out as he rocked into the touch. "Noah, please."

Puck wasn't sure what the lithe boy was asking for (and he was fairly certain Kurt didn't know either), but he went for his boyfriend's belt buckle immediately, keeping up the contact and glad Kurt's pants weren't complicated. He pulled the jeans down to Kurt's knees, too impatient to get them all the way off (they were tight) and let out a moan of his own when he realized Kurt was going commando. "No underwear?" he asked, not really expecting an answer as he wrapped a hand around his boyfriend's cock for the first time. Kurt was well-hung for a guy his size (Puck wasn't exactly whipping out a tape measure, but he would guess seven to eight inches and thick enough Puck had a little trouble getting his hand around it), his dick flushed pink and precum beading at the tip.

"No-_God_-no room," Kurt rushed out before moaning, his hips fucking into Puck's hand. "Noah, please, _move_," he implored, so Puck started to stroke, slow and steady, making Kurt whine with pleasure. Puck let go for a second to lick his hand, adding a little bit of slickness, before taking Kurt in hand again. He had never stroked off another dude, but it really wasn't that different from touching himself. Except Kurt was moaning and whimpering, flushed with pleasure and rocking into his hand, absolutely gorgeous, and Puck had to wonder how often his boyfriend did this for himself, judging by how desperate he seemed. "_Noah_," he groaned out, lower than before, probably close. Puck leaned down to kiss him, still stroking as evenly as he could.

"What the _hell_ is going on here?" The voice and words froze Puck's blood in his veins because _holy shit_, they'd been caught. He let go of Kurt immediately, his boyfriend's erection wilting at the sound of his father's voice. Puck went to move away and then realized Kurt was holding him in place by the grip he had somehow gotten on his shoulders because the countertenor was rather… exposed.

"Dad!" Kurt exclaimed, sitting up. Puck pulled up his pants obviously, figuring they were way past the point of trying to hide what they had been doing. "We were just…" Kurt looked at his boyfriend rather helplessly, clearly having no lie to tell his father.

"I know damn well what you were doing. Shirts, house, _now_," Burt demanded, and Kurt nodded quickly, the renewed flush on his cheeks due to embarrassment and not the fun reason.

Kurt waited until the door closed behind his dad before speaking. "Oh, Gaga, this isn't good." Kurt slumped back down onto the deck, still lying beneath Puck. If Puck hadn't been convinced his death was near, he would have pointed out how the devout atheist had been calling out 'God' a few moments ago.

"He's gonna kill me," Puck groaned, waiting for the usual rebuttal. When he didn't hear anything, he complained, "Kurt!"

"Well, he might," Kurt admitted a little sheepishly as he sat up again, flushing a little at their intimate position now that he wasn't distracted by far more interesting things, extricating his legs from underneath Puck. "He's very protective of me, especially when it comes to…" The countertenor's sentence trailed off as he stood up to grab his entanglement of shirts and try to get something covering out of the mess.

"So, are you gonna tell me this is karma for breaking the rules or some shit?" Puck asked as he grabbed his own simple shirt, pulling it on with ease as Kurt managed to find the primary shirt he'd had on (which was long-sleeved) and pull it on.

"Oh, Gaga, why didn't you tell me I had pit stains?" Kurt demanded angrily of his boyfriend as he inspected his ruffled appearance. Puck gave him a look that answered his question, "Yes, yes, fine. And no, I wasn't going to say that. I actually wanted to talk to you about-"

"Boys, _now_!" Burt yelled, angrier than ever, and that quickly shut Kurt up as he headed into the house, Puck following on legs he would never admit were shaky. "You are _never_," Burt directed his first words towards Puck, wielding a large kitchen knife in the hand with which he gestured to the jock, "to touch my son again, understand?"

"Dad, put the knife down," Kurt requested before Puck could answer. Burt flicked his eyes towards his son, and then pointedly gestured towards Puck with the knife again. "Dad, I _will_ grab it from your hand by the blade and get cut and need stitches and you will feel terrible, so you might as well just put it down, because that thing's so dull it would probably take several months for you to kill anyone with it." Judging by Burt's expression, that might have been the point, but he put the knife down at Kurt's order. "And it's not your decision whether or not Puck is allowed to touch me," he added defiantly, sticking his chin out, and he was cute when he was mad.

"You're my kid, and this is my house, and there will be absolutely none of _that_ happening," Burt said again, firmly, but his son wasn't taking him seriously.

"That's really none of your business, Dad. Why is it such a bad thing that I'm attracted to my boyfriend? Or is it just because he's a guy?" Kurt asked, a low blow said with only a hint of a flush, but Burt rolled his eyes, which apparently was a genetic indication of annoyance.

"Kurt, you _know_ I don't have a problem with you liking guys-"

"_Now_," Kurt added.

"It's _this_ guy!"

"There's nothing wrong with Noah! You just don't like him because you think of him as Puck, my bully! I've got news for you, Dad, he's _not_. Noah's my boyfriend, and it's been a long time since any of that stuff happened."

"Oh, you mean it's been a year since this jackass threw pee balloons at you?" Burt demanded, and Puck kind of winced at that one, because yeah, that had been gross, and why had they ever thought that was okay?

"Oh, you mean it's been a year since _Finn_ came up with the idea to throw pee balloons at me?" Kurt snapped, and Puck could tell that his boyfriend was getting upset. He reached up to put a hand on the small of Kurt's back, but Burt's eyes suddenly laser-focused on him.

"Don't even _think_ about it," he growled at Puck, low and dangerous.

"Oh, give up, you big teddy bear, you're not scaring anyone!" Kurt said falsely. Because Burt was very much scaring him at that particular moment. "I don't care if you like it or not; this is _my_ decision, and Noah is the guy I want to be with!"

"He's not the right kind of guy for you, Kurt! Just because you're too young and naïve to see that-"

"Oh, you mean because he's exactly the kind of badboy you were in high school?" Kurt demanded, his voice strong and clear.

"Which means I know _that_ is exactly what he wants from you!" Kurt's lower lip started to quiver. "Oh, don't you start crying on me, that's not going to work." Burt was still acting firm, but Puck had a feeling the loving father would cave if Kurt really started crying.

"I wish Mom were here right now!" Kurt snapped out, frustrated tears filling his eyes. His boyfriend finished the exchange by storming upstairs, probably both to make a dramatic exit and change his destroyed outfit.

Burt sighed, looking down at the floor and readjusting his baseball cap. Out of his eye line, Puck began to head upstairs, and was stopped with a firm command of, "Don't even think about it, Puckerman. You're still not off the hook for molesting my son on my porch."

'Molesting' wasn't really a fair description, but Puck was beginning to understand that everything was going south fast. Thankfully, he was saved by the front door opening. "Hello, everyb… oh," Carole sighed, looking around the kitchen with disappointment. Most of Kurt's shirt bundle was lying on the counter, a knife was within Burt's reach, and Puck was sure he looked either guilty or terrified. Hopefully guilty, but he guessed it was closer to the latter judging by Finn's smirk and Sam's concerned expression. "What happened?"

"Dude, what'd you do?" was the question Finn had for Puck, and the badass didn't even bother to ask why Finn was carrying bags of binders and shit.

"Burt," Carole said more firmly when she didn't get an answer from her husband. "What happened?"

"It was my fault, Mrs. H-H," Puck jumped in, because Kurt's words had clearly hit his father hard, and Burt didn't seem ready to talk anytime soon. "Kurt and I were..." Crap, he didn't want say that in front of Carole! She was like his second mom!

"Busy?" she asked with a smile, her tone making it clear she knew exactly what he meant.

"And Burt kind of caught us."

Carole sighed. "Puck, Finn, Sam, upstairs, now," she ordered, and none of them were going to disobey her. Puck wasn't sure if Burt was in trouble or what, but he didn't want to be down there dealing with the awkward. He wanted to be with Kurt.

* * *

><p>"Good start, huh?" Kurt said dryly to his boyfriend as Noah walked into his room without knocking. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for this to happen."<p>

"Yeah, that was definitely all you, princess," Noah said dryly as he sat down on the bed. "I played no part in that." Kurt couldn't help a blush from rising to his cheeks at the mention of 'that.'

"I shouldn't have said anything about my mom," he muttered.

"Of course you want your mom around," Noah said lightly, scooting up towards the head of the bed where Kurt had curled up. "I'm sure she went through this same thing with her dad when she introduced him to Burt." Kurt chuckled at the thought, knowing how much Grandpa and Grandma loved his father. "Plus, she loved you a bunch, and if she was anything like you, she had _total_ control over your dad." Kurt actually laughed at that one, foul as his mood was.

"Actually, it was her mother that was most against her being with Dad," Kurt shared. "She thought he was low-class, and that he'd never make anything of himself. She wanted to her daughter to be with someone who could provide for her."

"I've heard that one before," Noah muttered, and Kurt slid forward, pressing a kiss to his boyfriend's cheek.

"You're not low-class, Noah, you have all the time in the world to make something of yourself, and you did a lot better taking care of Quinn than anyone else could have," Kurt promised him gently. "I hope Carole can manage to turn this dinner around."

"Of course, Mrs. H-H is the coolest!" Noah said with the touch of childish glee that Kurt usually associated with his lug of a step-brother instead of his stoic boyfriend. Kurt smiled at the unexpected cuteness.

Kurt was about to sneak halfway down the stairs to check on his father and step-mother when Finn knocked on his door. "Dude," he called through the door, and Kurt had a good idea why he seemed afraid to open it (surely there was some fear involved, Finn was usually terrible with knocking), "your present is still in my room."

"We're decent, Finnessa," Noah called back, having clearly reached the same conclusion Kurt had.

"Present?" Kurt asked him curiously, trying not to sound eager. Noah had been empty-handed when he walked into the house as far as the countertenor knew.

Finn opened the door slowly, but Kurt didn't blame him. Noah wasn't always the most trustworthy when it came to teasing his former best friend, especially about Kurt. "Rachel's on her way over," his step-brother informed them both.

"I should get dressed," Kurt said immediately, hopping off the bed and heading for his closet. Between cooking and fooling around with his boyfriend, he had completely ruined his first outfit, and it would take him a bit to create a new one.

"I'll come grab that," he heard Noah say to Finn, climbing off the bed and leaving the room. Kurt dug through his closet, knowing he would need something cooler (night was starting to descend, but it hadn't gotten a tenth of a degree colder, and jeans with a long-sleeved shirt had admittedly been a silly idea). He picked his favorite Marc Jacobs twill shorts and a D&G printed tee, figuring that would be cool enough and they were way past having the perfect dinner. He grabbed some shades, just to complete the summer look, and when he turned back around he blushed, because Noah had been sitting on his bed, watching unashamedly as Kurt tried on various outfits before settling on something simple. "_Now_ you choose a t-shirt?" he asked, seeming unrepentant about his spying. "I had to peel four layers off you earlier!" In his lap, hopefully not covering any indecency, was a wrapped present, blue striped wrapping paper with black skull on white ribbon.

"Did you have to watch me change?" Kurt asked, feeling a touch shy as he sat down on the bed next to his boyfriend.

"I've already seen everything, princess," Noah said, kind of leering at him, but Kurt did his best to ignore his boyfriend's crass attitude.

"True. Is that for me?" he asked, gesturing to the gift, and in response, Noah handed it over. "Nicely wrapped, very Alexander McQueen," he complimented as he removed the bow.

"So, that dude's why you wear so many skulls?"

"Well, his company. He's actually dead."

"Seems a little ironic. I thought you just liked them," Noah admitted, which explained the ribbon.

"Not terribly ironic. He was obsessed with a symbol of death and he committed suicide." Kurt began to unwrap as he did, admiring the wrapping. "So, who helped you with this?" he teased.

"Sarah," Noah admitted. "She's the best wrapper in the family."

Though she used gratuitous tape, Kurt noticed as he finished opening the present carefully. "CDs?" he asked in surprise as he flicked through them. Foster the People's 'Torches,' Death Cab for Cutie's 'Codes and Keys,' and-"Oh my God, Beyoncé!" Kurt exclaimed excitedly, holding a brand new copy of '4.' "Noah, this came out today."

"I know, I had to wait in line for it with a mob of fifteen-year-old girls giving me dirty looks," Noah muttered, but he stopped talking when Kurt grabbed him and kissed him.

"Thank you," he said as soon as he was finished thanking him the way he wanted. "This is so sweet."

"You're welcome, princess."

* * *

><p>Carole finally welcomed all the boys back downstairs, and Kurt rolled his eyes and made sassy comments as Rachel and Finn greeted each other with a little too much tongue. When Carole had called them down, Kurt had gone immediately, but Noah had paused to go into Finn's room, which apparently also served as his storage locker. When he descended the stairs, he was holding three bouquets. "Oh, Noah, you shouldn't have," Carole said, smiling as Noah handed her one with tulips and iris.<p>

Rachel also beamed at him and gave him a kiss on the cheek when he gave her one with lilies and iris, pink and purple and exactly her style, and Finn glared at Kurt's boyfriend for upstaging him.

The last one was for Kurt, and he almost groaned when he saw the roses, a dozen of them, in a dizzying array of colors: red, white, pink, lavender, peach, and burgundy, two of each color. "Noah, those are beautiful," Carole exclaimed before Kurt could say anything, grabbing three vases out from under the sink.

"And once again my house is filled with roses," Kurt teased, but he was charmed. He didn't know if Noah was being so sweet because he wanted to make a good impression with Burt or with him, but he was leaning towards the latter because the first gift had been presented in private. Still, it was a level of romance that he never expected from Lima's former badboy, and he gave Noah a quick kiss before he even considered the implications, ignoring the growl that came from his dad at the action.

"Red is love, of course," Rachel announced, coming over to begin her inspection of Kurt's flowers. "Pink is romance. White is traditionally innocence or purity." Burt snorted at that.

"Humility and reverence, maven," Noah corrected her, the Yiddish term lost on Kurt and all the Hudson-Hummels (Kurt only knew it was Yiddish because Noah took on a little bit of an accent whenever he spoke the language).

"Lavender is love at first sight, which while not exactly accurate is still sweet. These are peach, instead of orange, but I'm not sure what they mean." Thankfully, Rachel didn't mention what orange roses meant.

"None of your business," was Noah's answer, and Rachel clucked her tongue.

"And burgundy of course, a common color to give, but one whose meaning currently escapes me."

"Unconscious beauty," Kurt informed her, unable to stop the redness from creeping into his cheeks, because he would never forget that definition.

"Aw," Rachel cooed. "That's so sweet, Noah, I'm surprised at your thoughtfulness!"

"Then maybe you should stop being so judgmental," Kurt immediately defended his boyfriend, taking Noah's hand.

"Rachel, could you help me set the table?" Carole asked sweetly, and Rachel skipped off to help her, Finn, Sam, and Burt settling on the couch.

"So what do peach roses mean, oh bashful one?" Kurt asked, given a moment to themselves.

"Closing the deal," Noah answered with a grin, and Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Not a chance." He rolled his eyes, pushing Noah to go sit with the guys and watch sports as he went to help the ladies in the kitchen.

Rachel was humming _Best Thing I Never Had_ to herself, which made Kurt smile a little bit as he offered his help with getting the dinner back on track. "Maybe you could stop getting busy with Noah on the porch," Carole suggested teasingly, the humming coming to a stop as Rachel gawked at him and Kurt blushed. "Or perhaps you could just not get caught."

"It wasn't intentional," Kurt muttered as he pulled out the nice china dishes to serve things on. In fact, it had been rather humiliating.

"I'm aware," she continued to tease. "According to Burt, he literally caught you with your pants down." Rachel let out a little squeak of shock.

"Kurt! How could you? I thought abstinence was part of your secretive agreement with Noah?" she asked, immediately curious.

"Not all of us are as strict about celibacy as you are, Rachel," Kurt retorted, unfortunately still able to feel the heat in his face. Why did he have to be so pale?

"So does this mean the agreement is null and void?" Rachel asked, acting rather like the annoying paparazzi she always prepared herself for.

"Rachel, can we just focus on getting Noah through this dinner alive, please? As you heard, he's not exactly starting off on the best foot." Kurt couldn't help the bitter thought that if Burt had caught Finn with Rachel's skirt on his floor, he would give them their privacy, and possibly give Finn a high five before leaving.

"Poor shlimazel," Rachel said sympathetically, and Yiddish was taking over his life. Still, Rachel was on Noah's side, so Kurt had to be nice to her.

"Noah will be fine. Burt's not half as scary as he pretends to be," Carole said dismissively.

"He is to Noah," Kurt said with a shrug.

"Well, tell your boyfriend to stop being such a wimp," Carole teased. "The big strong ladies will protect him." Kurt ignored that he was included in 'ladies,' as usual.

"Kurt, you get him out of my house right now!" came a yell from the living room and Kurt sighed as he went to answer his father's call.

"Sounds like that's my job, ladies."

Burt was glaring possibly more intensely at Noah (who looked a little shocked) _now_ than he had been when he had walked in on them. "Kurt?"

"Yes, oh lovely and accommodating father?" Kurt asked dryly, Sam hiding his smile.

"Did you know your boyfriend is a Bulls fan?"

"Do _you_ know that I don't even know what that means?" Kurt asked patiently, and Burt turned to glare at Noah again when he snickered. "Finn, care to inform me exactly how Noah has gone about offending my father this time?"

"Rival basketball teams," Finn explained shortly, knowing how little his step-brother knew about sports.

"Dad, get over it. Sports should not be the basis of your opinion on people."

"They show character."

"Maybe _playing_ them does, which incidentally, Noah happens to. But what you feel about watching a bunch of men running around in shorts is your business alone." Kurt purposefully left the innuendo in his sentence, making his dad squirm a little.

"Is this going to turn into one of those comments that ruins a sport for me? Because I can never watch baseball the same way again."

"Yet it continues to infest our TV." Kurt put his hands on his hips. "I could very easily ruin basketball for you, too. Keep bugging Noah, I dare you."

"Finn, switch over to the Heat game. We can all bitch at LeBron James." Finn obeyed quickly at the annoyance in his step-father's tone.

"A basketball team named 'the Heat?' They just write the jokes for me," Kurt said with a roll of his eyes as he headed back into the kitchen, hearing the usual punch on the arm Finn gave Noah for watching him walk out of a room.

* * *

><p>After the boys really did spend a considerable amount of time complaining at one basketball player about 'loyalty,' all of what was being said incomprehensible to Kurt, Carole got everyone seated with a loving call to dinner and she and Rachel served the food.<p>

"Barukh ata Adonai Eloheinu melekh ha'olam," Rachel began to pray as she sat down, making everyone else at the table squirm uncomfortably, but no one dared to say-

"Can it, Rachel," Noah interrupted her roughly. "Es gezunterheyt!" Rachel glared, but did stop praying and began to eat.

"You shouldn't use your rudimentary knowledge of Yiddish against me," she muttered into her food, but her mutter was most people's conversational voice.

"You should eat a little more kosher," he teased in return, "and I speak better Yiddish than you do, babe."

"Don't call my girlfriend 'babe,'" Finn said, teasingly threatening.

"All right, my sweet little Jewish-American... Damn, I can't call her that either," Noah interrupted himself before Kurt could.

"Wise choice," Kurt said with a little smile, because 'princess' wasn't the best nickname, but it was _his_. Noah grinned at him, sliding his hand over so it rested on Kurt's knee.

"Remove your hand from my child _now_," Burt said without even looking up, and Noah snapped his hand back into his personal space.

"Burt, don't do that," Carole said disapprovingly, but Burt seemed unmoved. "So, Noah, what are you up to for your summer vacation?" she asked politely.

"Not very much," Noah admitted as he attempted to have table manners. "Taking care of my little sister, working at the shop-" Burt let out a huff at that.

"Driving around that junk heap he has the audacity to call a truck," Kurt teased, knowing that Burt had the same feelings about that dump as he did and hoping he could get a grin out of his father.

"I don't like the idea of you driving around in that thing," Burt instead said to Kurt, and the countertenor sighed. So much for that.

"Actually, Kurt and I were gonna go car shopping next week," Noah lied.

"Really?" Carole asked in surprise before Kurt could. "But you love your truck."

"Yeah, but Burt's right, it's not really safe. Plus, I've saved up some money, wouldn't hurt to be driving around something a little nicer that breaks down a little less." Noah sounded sincere, but Kurt also knew he was a fantastic liar when he wanted to be.

"At least you have _some_ sense," Burt mumbled, not sounding happy about giving Kurt's boyfriend a compliment.

"How are things at the garage?" Kurt left the question open, willing either Burt or Noah to answer it.

"Good," Burt answered gruffly. "The new trainee is a little clumsy," Noah looked a little sheepish at that, which meant there was a story, "but I stuck him with Andy."

"Dad!" Kurt objected, because he knew Noah had only taken the job to win favor with his father, and now Burt wasn't even spending any time with his boyfriend.

"What?"

"I distinctly recall you being slightly more supportive at the beginning of the summer," Kurt said, working to keep his cool.

"Yeah, well, I've learned a few things since then. Mostly from middle-aged women." Burt gave Noah a hard look, and he had clearly found out what 'pool cleaning' really meant.

"Dad, that was a long time ago." Burt just sighed in response. "What?"

"You really don't see it, do you?"

"See what, Dad? What is so wrong with Noah? Because you're right, I don't see it!" Kurt was getting a little fed up with the angry noises and the passive-aggressive comments, standing up.

"Look, Kurt, I may have said some things after your show choir competition about what I was like in high school, but I didn't know the extent of what this kid's done!" Burt said angrily, following his son out of his chair.

"Like what?" Kurt demanded. "What has he done that's so horrible you can never forgive him?" Noah looked up at him like the jock was thinking that really wasn't the _best_ question to be asking, but Kurt was fed up with his father's attitude.

"He's slept with your friends' _mothers_, Kurt." The countertenor flinched subtly, but remained resolute, staring his father down. "He's thrown you in _dumpsters_, vandalized our property, been to _juvie_…" Noah was starting to look worried, but Kurt put a hand gently on his shoulder, not giving up, "and I want him out of my house!" Burt said finally, eyes focused on where they were touching, shocking Kurt.

"W-what?"

"Get him _out_ of my house, Kurt, he's not welcome here." Kurt stared at his father in disbelief, because nothing like this had ever happened before. The New Directions were a strange, and often close to intolerable, group, but Burt had always welcomed them into his home, even knowing most of their stories inside and out (between Mercedes and Rachel's visits, the poor man had overheard a lot of gossip).

"Mr. Hummel," Rachel began, and for once Kurt was glad the little soprano didn't know when to shut up, "I really think you should reconsider. Noah was never a bad seed, certainly just under the influence of a formerly irresponsible and now absent father, and he's reformed considerably since he inexplicably began to woo Kurt."

"Forgive me if I don't believe the sudden desire to sleep with my son is enough to change a person's entire personality," Burt snapped, and it was very rare that Kurt remembered how much his more aggressive nature had come from his dad.

"Honey, Noah's always been a good kid," Carole said, thankfully chipping in before thing could get _really_ out of hand.

"He's not a good kid _now_," Burt said, and it was clear that even ridiculously outnumbered, he couldn't put any faith in the boy dating his son.

"You don't even _know_ him, Dad, because you won't even give him a chance," Kurt pointed out, since his boyfriend and his father clearly hadn't been bonding at the shop as he'd hoped (though Puck's terrified reaction to everything his father said or did should have been a tip off).

"This was his chance." The past tense was very pointed. "And so far he's bragged about being a Cubs fan on my couch and molested my son on my porch!"

"He did not _molest_ me," Kurt objected, hating how his voice got even higher when he was upset. "I don't understand why you can't accept the fact that you changed as a kid, and so can Noah."

"Because the only thing that changed me was having you!" Burt argued in return. "And I know he's had a kid, but he hasn't exactly been responsible for raising her." Noah looked hurt, near tears even, for just one moment before his expression closed back off.

"_Dad_!" Kurt objected, recognizing the intentional low blow.

"Well, that's what happens when you sleep with your best friend's girlfriend and have a kid during high school," Burt said mercilessly. "Finn, you can't tell me you're okay with this."

All eyes in the room were suddenly very much on Finn, who gulped nervously. "I…" he started, but even with Kurt and Carole pleading with their eyes, Noah staring at him coldly, and Rachel glaring very pointedly at him, Finn couldn't seem to get anything else out. "I…"

"Exactly. I wasn't kidding kid," Burt said, his voice switching from angry to firm in a matter of moments, managing to control his emotions in a way Kurt was jealous of. "He's a teenage father, a delinquent, and a homophobic bully, and I don't want him in my house." For the first time, his father turned his gaze on Noah. "_Leave_," he said pointedly, and Noah stood up to do exactly that.

"No, Noah-" Kurt said, following him as he went to the door. "You don't have to leave, he's being ridiculous." Ignoring Kurt's words, Noah turned the corner towards the door, and Kurt could hear his step-mother start to berate his father for what he said. "_Noah_," Kurt said more insistently as his boyfriend reached the door, stopping him in his tracks. "You really don't have to go." Kurt would use the excuse that he'd barely eaten, but it had taken Noah and Finn less than two minutes to devour their dinners.

"Babe, your dad hates me," he said pointedly. "Parents always do." The words (admittedly very true-seeming) bothered Kurt less than the way his boyfriend was acting. Noah was shrugging everything off, not willing to admit that he was upset or even touching Kurt.

"Noah, he'll come around," Kurt insisted, because the moment Noah left (he could never out-stubborn the self-proclaimed 'badass' into staying), he was going to have serious words with his dad.

"Babe, dads don't like me, especially when they find my hands on their delicate little flowers." Kurt resisted the urge to point out he was _not_ a 'delicate little flower,' because he knew Noah was just pulling away from him.

"Noah, I'm sorry," Kurt said, following his boyfriend out the door. "I knew he wasn't _happy_ that we're dating, but I didn't think he'd act… like this."

Noah studied him for a long moment, and then leaned towards Kurt and kissed him, gently and quickly. "Bye, babe."

Kurt wouldn't be dramatic, he knew he would see his boyfriend the next day and there was nothing more to that goodbye than the fact Noah was leaving, but… "Why are you calling me babe?" Noah shrugged as he headed off towards his car, clearly not planning to give Kurt any kind of answer or stop to say goodbye properly.

Kurt walked back in the house with a sigh, to find Rachel putting on her coat, prepared to leave. She gave him a quick hug and muttered an apology in his ear before dashing off. Finn was nowhere to be seen, hiding upstairs and not even bothering to say goodbye to his girlfriend. Sam was also up there, despite being the only person in the house not angry at someone else. Judging by what he could hear, Carole was still trying to talk sense into his father in the kitchen. Kurt had planned to do the same thing himself, but instead he walked up the stairs and crashed on his bed.

He couldn't be mad at Noah for blocking him out, after the Beth-related jibe his father had made and how horribly south the dinner had gone, and he couldn't be mad at Finn for not being one hundred percent behind his relationship because, well, he was dating the man who'd impregnated Quinn Fabray. It wasn't something that was going to be easily forgotten, clearly. The only person he had left to be mad at was his dad, but he didn't _want_ to be angry with his father. He just wanted Burt to _understand_, understand that Noah was a part of his life and Kurt wasn't going to give up on him because of things that were practically ancient history. Things had always moved pretty fast at McKinley High, and if Kurt dwelled on things that happened over a year ago, he would be lost in the tide immediately. Like his dad had said, a very long time ago in an alarmingly similar context, he only saw the good in people, but that didn't mean Burt had to balance it out by only seeing the bad.

Kurt sighed and got up off his bed only long enough to change into pyjamas (he wasn't a big fan of most of his summer clothes, too revealing, but he certainly didn't want to wrinkle them), and then slumped back down and fell into a fitful sleep. Things would be better in the morning.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So, apologies are rampant on the last chapter, so this is actually a few notes. If Sarah seems unrealistically young in the first scene, it's because I have no idea what children are like.**

**And to the nit-pickers, yes, I know they left a bunch of picnic food on the porch. If you really need a more complete ending to that storyline, very happy, frosting-and-cheese covered raccoons feasted that night. Happy?**

**Some Yiddish  
><strong>**maven** - genius (usually used sarcastically in both languages)  
><strong>shlimazel<strong> - an extremely unlucky person  
><strong>barukh ata Adonai Eloheinu melekh ha'olam <strong>- blessed are you, Lord our God, king of the universe (just the beginning of a prayer found on the internet about food)  
><strong>es gezunterheyt<strong> - bon appétit **(insert accent**)

**The only song mentioned is Beyoncé's **'_Best Thing I Never Had_' **off her 4 album (which actually did come out right around the time this is supposed to be).**

**Reviews are Love.**


	33. Realizations

Kurt had learned a lot about clichés during his relationship with Noah. Sometimes the guy who acted like a badboy really _did_ have a heart of gold. Sometimes the womanizer really _was_ looking for someone special. Sometimes star-crossed lovers really _could_ make things work. Sometimes the people who seemed purposefully, glaring, almost _ridiculously_ different really could be a perfect match. All of these romantic movie basics Kurt had once hated were a large part of his life, and he felt effectively schooled by Hollywood.

However, the one cliché he'd been hoping proved correct actually turned out not to be true. Things were _not_ always better in the morning. Especially when the morning had been preceded by a night of lousy and restless sleep. Kurt had a feeling he wasn't alone in learning that lesson, everyone in the household looked rather ragged when they came downstairs for an uncomfortably silent family breakfast. Finn wouldn't meet Kurt's eyes, knowing that he could have salvaged last night if he'd been able to find the words. Carole wouldn't look at her husband, and judging by the crick in his neck Burt kept rubbing, his father had spent the night on the couch. Even Sam looked miserable, feeling so awkward in the tense atmosphere that he took his pancakes to his room.

Kurt didn't exactly feel like he owed his father any measure of respect or obedience right about then, but well-ingrained good manners made him mutter, "I'm going to see Noah," as he walked out of the house. He didn't mention where (his boyfriend had texted him earlier and asked him to meet at Sonic of all places), and his tone brooked no argument. Burt grunted absently in his direction, which he took as unnecessary and unwanted permission.

Kurt parked his Lincoln away from most of the cars, getting out and searching for Noah and his truck. Eventually he located the monstrosity, and then felt guilty for mentally referring to the truck as such. He didn't need to judge Noah on something so small, and there was nothing wrong with the badass' truck. It could use some cleaning, a good vacuum, and an air freshener, certainly, but the vehicle itself wasn't terrible. At least, that's what Kurt's angry mind tried to convince him as he walked towards the driving deathtrap, purposefully trying not to think like his father.

"Hey, hot stuff," was the charming way Noah greeted him as he climbed into the unlocked vehicle. "What do you want?"

"For once I will forgo my usual comments on your choice of diet and get a burger and fries," Kurt said, angry enough that the thought of calories never flashed through his mind. "Oh! And a milkshake."

"A man with an _appetite_," Noah said with a grin as he pushed the button for service. "Finally." Then his boyfriend looked at Kurt just a little more closely and groaned. "Or a man so annoyed with his father that he's trying to… What? Prove you don't have any problem with anything I do? I don't think that strategy is going to work out well for you, princess."

As silly as it sounded, even just hearing Noah call him by that ridiculous moniker warmed his heart after the dismissive way his boyfriend had acted last night. "I wouldn't…" And then Kurt sighed, unable to deny the jock's statement. "I'm sorry, Noah, I just can't _believe_ he acted like that."

"I told you dads don't like me; it's mostly the moms." Noah winked, making Kurt roll his eyes. He knew it was Noah's way of lightening the tension, but he didn't want to have any sort of discussion about his boyfriend's exploits with older women, not even a teasing one. "Princess, it's fine. I can handle your old man not liking me."

"Noah, he kicked you out of the house!" Kurt exclaimed. "The last time he did that…"

"Was when Finn called you a fag," Noah completed his thought, and then frowned at Kurt's infinitesimal flinch. "Sorry. I shouldn't have…" His boyfriend trailed off awkwardly, but it was the thought that counted. Purely because Kurt was sure the former bully had never before actually put thought into using that word or what it meant or how it hurt him.

Kurt couldn't exactly say it was fine, though he used that word in lie often, so instead he reached over the console between them and took Noah's hand. "I think he was just mad, I don't think he meant it."

"Princess, you know he meant it. You're just going all stubborn. Your dad doesn't want me in the house." Noah shrugged. "He didn't do the whole 'you're not allowed to see him anymore' thing, did he?"

"No, but only because he's intelligent enough to know that would only make me want you _more_," Kurt said with a sigh.

"Maybe he should do it then," Noah said with a grin, and Kurt realized his mistake as soon as he processed his boyfriend's words.

"No-not-I didn't mean-oh, shut up," Kurt said finally, giving up his sputtering and blushing. "You _know_ what I meant."

"I did," Noah acknowledged, lifting their combined hands and kissing the back of Kurt's in a surprisingly gentle gesture. "But I do believe you said something yesterday, after I jerked you off," Kurt's blush deepened at the crass phrasing, "about wanting to talk. Specifically about our 'conditions.'" Noah's tone did not sound fond of the word.

"Could you take your mind off sex for one moment?" Kurt asked, trying not to be cranky in spite of his restless night and extremely-uncomfortable home situation. "My father hates you."

"Why does that matter if I still get to see you?" Noah asked, oblivious, and Kurt sighed with perhaps a touch too much drama.

"Because it's not just him, Noah, it's everyone," Kurt snapped. "Rachel, Mercedes, Finn, my father, and even _Blaine_, the king of weird romantic decisions, think that we have too much history to have any sort of clean slate as a couple."

"Well, do we?" Kurt glared in response to the question.

"Why would you even ask me that?" Kurt asked, eyes narrowing, because _of course_, they didn't… right?

Fortunately for his boyfriend, they were interrupted by the 'waiter' of sorts arriving and taking their orders. Noah ordered some bacon-cheese-beef monstrosity, and ordered Kurt's food for him. The countertenor knew the gesture was supposed to be romantic, but he resisted the urge to huff in frustration because it felt more possessive and controlling than he knew Noah intended it. His frustration with his father was coloring everything.

"I thought Rachel was all gung-ho about Pummel now," Noah said, possibly just an excuse to use the ridiculous couple name he had concocted. "She certainly seemed it last night."

"Yes, I know she stuck up for us, but she's only approving because she knows that deep, _deep_ down, you're a good guy. I know she can't imagine that I've forgiven you for everything from dumpster dives to Operation Getting Into Kurt's Pants," he said coldly, noticing how his boyfriend flinched with a touch of vindictive glee.

"Not really my best moment, huh?" Noah muttered glumly, and Kurt sighed, taking his hand again and wishing they were anywhere but Noah's car so that he could cuddle up close to his boyfriend. Even if they had been in the Navigator, he would have leaned over the console to do so, but no one knew what mysterious substances could be covering the surfaces of the junk heap with wheels he was sitting in.

"And then there's Finn, who was totally supportive of our relationship until he actually faced the reality of my father's disdain and crumbled under the pressure." For a leader, Finn was not the best at standing his ground, and even though he loved both Noah and Kurt (in a friendly/brotherly way), he had failed to stand up for them when it really mattered.

"Finn couldn't exactly be dating Rachel if he had a spine, could he?" Noah asked, and though his comment was rude, his tone was fond. He and Finn got along very well and loved each other more than they were willing to admit.

"Nor could you have spent your entire childhood convincing him to do bad things," Kurt said, rolling his eyes at his boyfriend and step-brother's antics.

"Princess, that wasn't just childhood. You of all people should know that." Kurt smiled wanly, torn between not wanting to ever discuss the beginning of high school and being glad that Noah was so dismissive of his own idiotic actions. "Relax, princess, your dad will come around if I don't screw things up." Kurt was about to object to Noah's low opinion of himself, but the jock clearly wasn't done. "And even if he doesn't, it doesn't really matter. We're only a year from graduation."

"It matters because he's my _dad_, Noah," Kurt said, trying not to sound firm or bring up the fact that Noah couldn't quite understand the father-son relationship. "I want him to be supportive of my relationship; his opinion matters to me."

"Well, maybe it shouldn't. He's just being stubborn."

Kurt ignored Noah's comment, he knew his boyfriend well enough to know that talking too much about fathers would send the conversation downhill fast. "I just need to find some way to prove to him that you're a good guy. The dinner would have worked if it hadn't been for our little…" Kurt blushed thinking about it, "incident on the porch."

"Princess, you can't blame everything your dad said on the fact that he caught us fooling around."

"Do you honestly think he would have acted that way if he hadn't?" Kurt tried not to sound too demanding, but he was starting to feel a little defensive of his father, and that was all wrong. "We wouldn't have fought, I wouldn't have said anything about Mom, and the dinner would have started much better."

"Yeah, but he hasn't liked me since he found out about all the cougars. He thinks I'm a no-good piece of shit Lima loser." Kurt recognized the tone of self-loathing from many conversations he'd had with Rachel, Mercedes, Quinn, and even Finn over the past two years, and he resolved to dry-clean his shirt as he leaned over the console of Noah's truck and pressed a kiss to his boyfriend's cheek.

"You're _not_," he said firmly, but Noah still didn't look at him.

"Whatever. If you ask me, your dad just needs time to calm down and get over it."

Kurt sighed, leaning back over to his side of the truck. "He's not just going to calm down about the fact that we're dating, and the more passive we are, the more he's going to think that you don't care about me. We just need him to see you the way I do." Kurt played with Noah's fingers as he spoke, trying to think of a plan and coming up with nothing.

"That's never going to happen. Hell, after what happened with Blaine, he might not ever trust someone you date again."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "I don't want to talk about Blaine."

"How the hell did that little asshole make a good impression anyway?" Noah asked, apparently ignoring Kurt's comment. "He put you through all sorts of shit before you guys started dating and your dad didn't even seem to care."

"Blaine went out of his way to be a gentleman around my dad," Kurt replied, still wishing they were discussing anything but his ex-boyfriend. "Once he had made things right with me, my dad was willing to put everything behind him. And what Blaine did wasn't as… severe as some of the things you did, so Dad really believed that I could forgive him. And whenever he was over at the house, Blaine was charming and polite and-"

"Yeah, I get it, he kissed your dad's ass." Kurt wrinkled his nose at the phrasing. "I'm not going to do that, princess, and Burt wouldn't believe me even if I did." Noah sounded annoyed, but he explained why before Kurt could even ask. "And could you please not talk about Blaine like he's the fucking messiah?"

"Excuse me?"

"I get it, he was a better boyfriend than I am and he didn't pull all the shit I did. Now can you just shut up about him?"

Kurt bit back his annoyance at the harsh way Noah was talking. "_You_ asked about him; _I _said I didn't want to talk about him, and I still don't."

"Right, because you're mad at him for something he said when you got coffee."

"I _slapped _him because he was talking bad about _you_," Kurt said very pointedly. "And Blaine was a terrible boyfriend. You do remember what he did, right? The whole reason that we're here? I could never care about him in that way again, ever, after what happened."

"The same thing most people would say about what I did to you during the first two years of high school." Kurt just stared at his boyfriend in disbelief.

"Why are we talking about this? _You_ are my boyfriend, I care about _you_, and I've forgiven you for what happened back then. I don't want to talk about Blaine, he's in the past, can we just forget about him? I don't want to argue with you."

Noah sighed. "Look, babe, I'm sorry. It just pisses me off that everyone thinks he was so much better to you than I am."

"I don't. And that doesn't matter anyway, I'm not with Blaine, I'm with _you_." Noah didn't say anything in response. "All I'm asking you to do is trust that you're the person I want to be with; I don't even want to see Blaine again."

"I trust you, princess." Noah still sounded annoyed.

"What?" Kurt asked, trying not to let his irritation color his tone.

"Just wish it was a two-way street. I've been jumping through hoops for you, following all your rules, and you still don't trust me because of all the shit that happened before."

"Noah, the conditions have nothing to do with the bullying. You tried to trick your way into my pants! I just wanted to make sure that you were serious about this."

"What, so I'm no better than Blaine? I tried to trick you out of your pants and he tried to pressure his way into them, right, so we're the same? You trusted that asshole and look what it did for you. If I'm so much better than him, then why don't you trust me?"

"What makes you think I don't trust you?"

"You won't even take my advice about your damn dad, and I have probation-shackles because you don't think I actually care about you! I know I screwed up dinner last night, and I'm sure the fact that you can blame all of it on the hand job I gave you just tickles you pink and proves all your stupid rules right." Kurt gaped at his boyfriend for a moment. "Screw your rules, they're just so you can be a damn coward and not have to put your faith in me."

"Noah, the rules are there because you lied to me! And not all of them are even mine."

"No, the rules are you trying to make me into your perfect boyfriend," Noah accused, but even the anger was better than his cold and detached tone from the night before. "Making me take you on dates as often as you want and try to suck up to your friends and keeping me from hanging out with mine. I'm not a dog, Kurt, I don't want to be on your damn leash."

"Those football _idiots _aren't really your friends! And you agreed to all of this!"

"Weeks ago, when I had just fucked up all over again and I knew you had no reason to trust me! Now you're just using those fucking rules to try to protect yourself from me, and you should have to!"

"The only condition you care about is number five, Noah, and don't even try to pretend that's not what this is about! We're not having sex for a reason, because for the longest time, that's all you seemed to care about! Have you ever considered that if maybe you just stopped pushing for it, I would stop worrying that you're just trying to get into my pants? I don't want to be one of your whores, Noah." Kurt tried to remain as rational as possible, but it wasn't really working for him.

"You didn't seem to mind yesterday," was Noah's reply, as cold and detached as he had been the night before, and Kurt didn't even think about it before storming out of the car.

Since Noah had given up on the rules, Kurt had too, and as soon as he got home, he called Mercedes. "I…" he said as soon as she picked up, but he didn't realize until that moment how badly his hands, and his voice apparently, were shaking. "Noah…"

Mercedes sighed. "Say no more, white boy, we're on it."

'We?' Kurt wanted to ask, but he didn't bother. "What-"

"We're all in Columbus shopping," and that hurt, a little, the realization that he had become so absorbed with his boyfriend that his friends had stopped inviting him out because they knew he would be busy, but he supposed he deserved it; stupid Noah, "but we'll all come over tonight for a sleepover, all right?"

"All right," Kurt confirmed, feeling a little closer to steady.

"Love you, bo, stay strong."

"Love you, too, 'Cedes."

* * *

><p>Mercedes and Rachel descended upon him the moment they arrived back in Lima, showing up at his front door and barging in despite Finn's confusion. Kurt had considered talking to his brother about what was going on, but he was still a little mad (perhaps unjustly at this point, considering the dinner would have probably gone south no matter what his step-brother said) and he knew Finn would probably be on Noah's side.<p>

"Oh, honey," Mercedes said, giving him a big hug in the hallway as Rachel headed immediately for the kitchen, muttering about 'baking therapy' and cupcakes. Which sounded fine to Kurt, considering he had never gotten his burger that morning and he had been feeling too lousy to eat since then. "What did that idiot do?"

"Things just got a little out of hand, Merce," Kurt admitted, because yes, he'd been mad at Noah and he still was, but he could kind of understand what had happened. Mercedes and he had always talked about how Noah was _passionate_, and that was why he was good for Kurt. Sometimes that got a little out of hand, and frankly Kurt wasn't proud of what had happened at Sonic either. But apologizing to Noah and pretending nothing had ever happened wouldn't fix the underlying issues. Since the conditions had pretty much gone out the window the moment Noah and he had… well… broken number five, he decided to get a second opinion or five.

"Start from the beginning," Rachel insisted from the kitchen as Mercedes herded him towards the couch. "Tina, Santana, and Brittany will be here soon, they just wanted to drop their purchases at home because Santana's car doesn't have nearly as much storage as Mercedes'."

"Well, when Blaine and I broke up-" Kurt teased a bit.

"Not _that_ beginning," Rachel said with a roll of her eyes. "Start from romantic probation, please, that was about the point you stopped telling us what was going on with you and Noah."

"After the shopping trip," Mercedes suggested, over by the living room movie collection looking for something appropriate for them to watch. "And don't worry, Santana's bringing all the Ben & Jerry's her car can hold."

"I'm not upset," Kurt said, and it was mostly true. "I'm just confused, and I could use the advice of my best girls."

"No more calling us bad mediators?" Rachel asked, obviously still annoyed by that.

Kurt sighed. "The whole 'romantic probation' thing didn't exactly go well, and I have a feeling it's mostly done."

"You and Noah broke up?" Rachel asked, sounding more curious than sad.

"No, _no_, we didn't, we just… need to find a new relationship equilibrium. One that doesn't include him being on a leash," Kurt said, because yes, the conditions had worked to a point, but things had changed in the past few weeks, and Noah had proven himself trustworthy.

"What he do?" Mercedes asked immediately, sounding irked. She still wasn't supportive of Kurt dating Noah, and the countertenor made sure to keep in mind that she would be firmly anti-Pummel and none of her advice would be unbiased.

"Start from the shopping trip," Rachel said as she whisked cupcake batter. "Mercedes, I think a romantic comedy would be the best choice, considering we're just trying to figure out how to fix a broken romance."

"My relationship with Noah is not _broken_," Kurt said, automatically defensive, then thought the situation through and sighed. "At least, I hope it isn't."

"How about Easy A?" Mercedes asked. "More funny and empowering than romantic."

"And it makes a powerful statement about virginity," Rachel said with a smile, revealing Mercedes' hidden motive without realizing it.

"Mercedes, we haven't had sex," Kurt said firmly, addressing their silent conversation aloud, but his best friend ignored him, clearly still against him being with Noah, and put the movie in.

"I have ice cream, bitches," Santana announced as she walked in the door with five or so grocery bags full of Ben & Jerry's, heading for the freezer. Brittany and Tina walked in behind her, joining Kurt on the couch before Mercedes could sit back down. Tina just smiled at him comfortingly, but Brittany cuddled right up to him, resting her head on his shoulder and her legs over his lap. He found that he didn't mind, as long as she kept her hands to herself.

"All right, story time," Rachel said as she joined the rest of the group, holding the over timer. "Start from the two of you disappearing at the end of our shopping trip and lead right up to whatever happened this morning."

"You all know about the conditions, and how Noah has tried to be so sweet to me and woo me in order to make a better impression," Kurt said, his introduction prompting Mercedes to scoff and roll her eyes. "At the end of the shopping trip, Noah bought me a promise ring," Rachel let out a little 'aw,' "and made a very sweet speech about what he was promising."

"Oh, speaking of the shopping trip, Hummel, I have your special underwear in the truck," Santana said with a wink, and he'd been hoping she'd forgotten about those. Apparently not.

Ignoring the flush that was rising to his cheeks, Kurt continued. "We went back to his place, _chastely_," he added hastily when all the girls went 'oooh,' "and we hung out for a while, taking care of Sarah. He… it's adorable how much he loves his little sister; he would do anything for her. We were talking about Rachel's sudden Disney obsession," Rachel huffed, but Kurt ignored her; he had decided _not_ to tell his friends about his idiotic plan to have Noah and he act like just friends, because he knew the reactions would be neither kind nor positive, "and when Sarah asked if I sing and requested that Noah and I sing her a song from High School Musical, Noah assented." The other girls started again with the 'aw's, but Mercedes still looked unimpressed. "So we sang _You Are the Music in Me_, and I had dinner with the Puckermans that night."

"I bet Ruth loved you," Rachel said with a smile. "She was always fond of me due to our mutual religious ideas, but she is not the type to condemn you for being an atheist, and she's fond of anyone who actually cares about her son."

"Yes, Mrs. Puckerman seems fine with our relationship, though she did give me the third degree a little bit later. The problem is my dad."

"That's the only problem?" Mercedes asked skeptically.

"That would be the stem of the seismic shift in our relationship, yes," Kurt said, realizing the words were true as he said them. "I… Noah has trouble believing that he's a good guy and that he deserves me-not a word, Merce," he cut her off before she could start, "and no matter how many time I tell him that I care about him, he seems kind of insecure about us."

"What does that have to do with your dad?" Tina asked, but Kurt had gotten off track on how the story had run, chronologically, so he began again.

"After my dinner with the Puckermans, my dad made it clear he did _not_ approve of Noah, and it would take a lot for me to get him to like my boyfriend, but he was willing to try, so we were going to arrange Friday Night Dinner. Then after our Disney Glee rehearsal, Noah and I went to BreadstiX. Unfortunately, we ran into Blaine there and… I got a little distracted by the fact that Blaine was on a date, which was my fault, but Noah interpreted it as jealousy and we got in a little bit of an argument. Even worse than that, Blaine texted me after that, once again extending an olive branch and wanting to meet me for coffee."

"Ugh, Hummel, that means your ex is trying to get into your pants," Santana commented, but Kurt ignored her.

"I knew that, but it was Blaine and I _did_ miss him, in a way, so I decided to meet with him. But he spent the whole time just _trashing_ Noah, and eventually I gave up, slapped him, and left. I mean, why am I the only person who seems how much Noah is worth? He has a big heart, you guys know that, just think about what he went through with Quinn and Beth! He _cares_, he really does, and he does his best to be romantic and sweet, and I know he's not perfect, but I care about him and I've forgiven him for all the stupid things he did in the past." Kurt was expecting commentary on that, but the girls had gone surprisingly quiet.

"Go on," Rachel said, fiddling with the oven time instead of meeting his gaze.

"It was after my coffee date with Blaine that Mrs. Puckerman gave me the third degree. Then I went to talk to Noah, and I told him what had happened and we…" Kurt paused for a moment, remembering the fervent way Noah had kissed him that day and blushing, "we made up. It was stupid for us to be arguing over Blaine anyway; I don't think him about that way anymore. Not since what happened with Noah." Kurt shook his head, trying to remind himself where he was in the story. "Noah agreed to come over for Friday Night Dinner, which happened yesterday."

"And since your dad doesn't like him, Puck's an _idiot_, and you two were still tense over your asshole ex-boyfriend, I'm guessing it didn't go well," Santana said derisively, texting like she wasn't really interested in the conversation.

"It wasn't Noah's fault… entirely. It was mostly my dad's," which, Kurt realized, was what he should have told Noah earlier, that he didn't blame Noah _or_ their little incident for what happened. Fuck. "It was awful," was what he said aloud. "But for the record, we were _not_ tense. We were having fun talking and laughing in the kitchen as I made dinner, but then…" Kurt trailed off, blushing, realizing he didn't exactly want to tell his girls what had happened. "I was getting upset and worried about the dinner, so Noah made us a little picnic and we went out on the porch." How the hell was he going to tell them this without hearing 'wanky' from Santana and being judged by Mercedes?

"You got busy with Puck," Santana said shortly. "On the _porch_ no less, very naughty."

"Kurt-"

"Don't even start, Mercedes," Santana snapped, proving she could effortlessly handle all of his worries. "What happened, Hummel?"

"My father caught us." There were several sympathetic winces. "He, of course, panicked and started railing at Noah about how he was never allowed to touch me, ever, and how he shouldn't be taking advantage of me and all sorts of ridiculous things that weren't any part of his business."

"What happened to you two not doing anything?" The inevitable question came from Tina and it was phrased very gently.

"I _trust_ Noah, I really do, and we were going to talk a little more about the conditions and what to do moving forward, only then my dad kind of interrupted us." His friends didn't need the exact details. "During the argument, I snapped at my dad that I wish my mom was still around, and I was more the one arguing with my dad than Noah was. Carole took over and sent us upstairs…" Kurt sighed. "Noah bought my a present, including the new Beyoncé CD, and he brought flowers for Carole, Rachel, and I. When we came back downstairs, Noah apparently told him he was a fan of a rival sports team, and then when dinner was finally ready…" Kurt sighed. "My dad made it very clear that his opinion had turned against Noah and he didn't want him in the house anymore."

"Noah got a job at the garage to spend time with Burt and try to win him over, but Burt has been ignoring him there and placing other mechanics in charge of his training," Rachel took over, since she had been there for the disastrous portion of the dinner. "However, this did help Burt find out about Noah's cougar days, and that, combined with Noah's history of bullying and sexual prowess, as well as their affinity between rival sports teams and the incident between Kurt and Noah on the porch…" Kurt tried not to flush at her pointed tone, but failed. "Burt made the ultimate decision that he didn't approve of Noah. He doesn't believe that someone could change so much, so fast, and he's unwilling to give Noah a chance to prove his worth," Rachel summed up quickly and without emotion.

"So, basically, your dad's being a dick?" Santana asked.

"I wish that were the end of it," was Kurt's reply. "That was last night. This morning, Noah and I went to Sonic to talk. We ended up arguing about my dad and Blaine, Noah upset that my dad, and certain other people, preferred my relationship with Blaine to my relationship with him. He just… couldn't get that _I_ didn't prefer my relationship with Blaine, that I care about him and believe in him and only want him to try again with my father because I don't want his disapproval to be a stressor on our relationship. He… he thinks I don't trust him. But I _do_, even if I just realized it, and I want him to have the same faith in me that I do in him. If only he knew what I thought about him, how much I think he's worth, then maybe he wouldn't worry so much about us. I just… I don't know how to make him feel secure in our relationship." Kurt looked to the girls for advice to find them staring at him intently. Even Santana wasn't texting anymore.

"Oh, bo," Mercedes said, sounding sad and remorseful. When Kurt raised an eyebrow at her, she answered. "I can't believe it."

"Believe what?"

"After everything he's done to you, from the bullying to Operation Get Into Kurt's pants… if you still feel this way, there's obviously something I'm missing." He knew that was as much of an apology as he was ever going to get.

He stood up, heading for the armchair Mercedes was sitting in to hug his girl. "I really do care about him. And once you get to know him, he's not a bad guy. He hasn't always made the best decisions, but he _is _changing."

"You're an idiot, Hummel," was Santana's completely unprovoked nasty comment.

"Why?" he asked icily.

"We all knew you _care_ about him," Rachel was the one to answer, her voice soft. "We just didn't realize that you're in love with him."

"I… what?" He was used to Rachel talking crazy, but everyone else was nodding in solemn agreement, like what she said actually made sense. "I'm not-"

"Please," Santana said with an unladylike snort. "Apparently, you can't hear the way you talk about him, but you sound like you've grown a damn vagina. I don't know if Puck'll be pleased or disappointed."

"What Santana is _trying_ to say," Mercedes said with an icy glare in the cheerleader's general direction, "is that everything you've said so far has been punctuated with little speeches of either admiration or concern, and you sound… well, like you're in love with him, bo."

"I…" Kurt sat down on the couch, feeling what might have been the weight of realization on his shoulders. While he had been telling the story, he had been reaching for words, something to explain why he cared so much and why he couldn't understand how Noah couldn't see himself the way Kurt did… if 'I love him' were those words, he was in deeper than he had first expected.

"I think our advice is that you should tell him that," Tina said quietly.

"If we were still talking about the idiot Puck that I slept with, I would give you the exact opposite advice, because telling _that_ Puck that you love him makes him run for the hills." Kurt wondered for a second whether or not Santana was speaking from experience, but then he noticed her looking over at Brittany and decided it didn't really matter. "But this new, sissy Puck that you seem to have created would be more than happy to hear it, I'm sure. Especially if that takes him off the leash."

"Telling Noah that I… Even if I do… That's not just going to fix everything." Mercedes roller her eyes at Kurt's avoidance of the words.

"The moment that you tell Noah you love him, he's on equal ground with Blaine," Rachel said, and all heads swiveled towards her. "You loved him, or at least you told him as much. Maybe that's what Puck is getting hung up on. That you loved and trusted Blaine, but he thinks you don't feel the same way about him, when you really do. Maybe if he knew that you loved him, he would be able to see how much he means to you."

"What if I'm not sure?" Kurt asked, hating how small and insecure his voice sounded.

"_Love's a curious thing; it often comes disguised. Look at love the wrong way, it goes unrecognized… so look with your heart, and not with your eyes. A heart understands; a heart never lies. Believe what it feels-_"

"Shut up, Berry, blood's gonna start coming out my ears soon," Santana cut Rachel off mid-song. "Listen, Hummel, I know you're being a chicken-shit about this relationship and that's the whole reason that you have those damn rules in the first place, but if you can't be sure that you love Puck, let us be sure for you. You're an absolutely disgusting sap about him in the way only people in love are. So shut up, stop arguing with us, and go tell him."

"And you should probably talk to him about the conditions as well," Tina offered quietly.

"Let's run through them quickly, shall we?" Rachel asked, pulling out her phone. "Exclusivity: this is a condition of any relationship, you should trust Noah enough to know he's not cheating on you. Date night: Noah's going to make time for you and try to be romantic without you have to force him. Spending time with us: I think this sleepover proves he has our favor."

"Number four I would keep," Mercedes said, peering over Rachel's shoulder. "The only thing football players do during those parties is be idiots."

"No, Kurt has to _trust_ that Noah can control himself, even under the influence of alcohol," Rachel insisted, pulling the phone away from Mercedes. "Answer his calls: as your boyfriend, he'll probably do that anyway most of the time. Being honest is a condition of any relationship. We've already nixed bad mediators-"

"That was his rule, anyway, and if you girls are all actually okay with me dating him, I'm sure he won't mind me going to you for advice every once in a while. You were most annoying when we weren't yet together." Kurt was acutely aware of the condition Rachel had skipped.

"No definitions for Puck: I think you're the person he has to worry least about pushing him on that, though I personally vote he's pansexual."

"Please, Puck totally likes dick now," Santana said with a roll of her eyes.

"Puck's a dolphin?" Brittany asked excitedly.

"_No_," Kurt answered firmly at the same time Santana nodded.

"Ladies, ladies, try to stay on focus. The last one is that you're dating, and I have a feeling he just said that one to be cute. Everyone knows you're dating."

"You skipped one," Kurt corrected her, even though he was sure she already knew. "Condition number five: no sex."

"Lame," Santana said, standing up and heading for the freezer. "We might as well eat the Ben & Jerry's even if we don't need it."

"You already broke that one," Rachel pointed out. "You have to have some faith in Noah. If you two choose not to be totally abstinent, you'll have to talk things out and decide what's too fast or slow. Noah's a good guy, and beneath all of his teasing, I'm sure he won't pressure you." Kurt nodded, having already decided this before Rachel said anything.

Kurt put his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. "I cannot _believe_ I fell in love with Noah Puckerman," he mumbled, mostly to himself, but by the victorious exclamations, the girls clearly heard and took the statement as confirmation of their earlier claim.

"You need to tell him," Rachel insisted. "Contrary to your earlier belief, I think telling him that and releasing him from romantic probation really will solve all of your problems."

"What about my dad?" Kurt asked, the only loose end in their conversation. "He still hates Noah, and the fact that I'm even more convinced that Noah's a good guy isn't going to change his mind."

"I hate to sound like I'm on Puck's side, but I think that's something you have to fix with your dad, bo. Burt will never come around just because you're dating Puck, and I don't think another family dinner would go over any better." Mercedes patted his back as she spoke.

"If you're going to talk to both of them, I would talk to Burt before Noah," Rachel suggested. "The fact that Burt is more willing to accept that Noah is your boyfriend would be the cherry on top of the 'I love you' sundae topped with 'no more romantic probation' sprinkles."

"And 'you might have the chance to bang me' hot fudge," Santana said with a grin as she returned with Cherry Garcia. "And I'm not talking about the hot fudge being on the sundae." Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Do any of you know where my dad is?" Kurt asked.

"He walked in, saw us all on the couch, and retreated upstairs," Tina answered, probably the only one who had noticed his arrival.

"Wait, wait, wait," Brittany said as Kurt stood up. "What about Q?"

"What about Quinn?" Kurt asked her in return. "She's been on board with me and Noah since the beginning. Hell, she's been telling us we're in love for weeks." At least, that was the impression he had gotten from a very annoyed Noah.

"She's not here," Brittany said, sounding upset still.

"We might want to try talking to Quinn, she's right," Rachel said, apparently catching on to the blonde cheerleader's train of thought. "Whatever's going on with her, she's our friend and we can't neglect her."

"We'll call her," Mercedes decided. "White boy, you have bigger fish to fry upstairs."

"No chance I can call Quinn and one of you can deal with me father?" Kurt asked rhetorically as he headed up the stairs.

* * *

><p>The door to his father's room was open, and though he hadn't spent much time in his father's room in the new house (for obvious reasons), Kurt welcomed himself in. His father was sitting in a comfy armchair in the corner, and the countertenor could tell from one glance that he was half-heartedly reading the book in his hands. The brightly-colored cover as well as Oprah's book club sticker suggested that Carole had given it to him to read.<p>

"Hey, dad," Kurt said, resisting the habit of calling him 'daddy' before awkward conversations.

"Hey, kid," his dad replied, the haste with which he put down the book only further proving he'd been looking for any excuse to stop reading it. "Having fun with the girls?"

"They're calling Quinn right now," Kurt replied, not really answering his father's question. "We're all worried about her, but whatever's going on has been a long time coming, I'm sure."

"She's been through a lot," his father agreed with a nod. Kurt could feel the tense atmosphere, but he tried his best to ignore it. The last thing he wanted was for their mature conversation to turn into an argument, even though that seemed very likely.

"I called them over here to talk about Noah," he admitted, not able to think of another way to broach the subject more gently.

"What did he do now?" Burt asked gruffly.

"He tried his best to understand why you not liking him upsets me so much, even though he doesn't have a father and doesn't quite understand what it means to have one," Kurt said as calmly as he could, trying not to get defensive or blame anything on his father.

"Kid, I know Puck's had a rough life, but that doesn't excuse anything he's done."

"Of course not. Watching one parent abuse another from a very young age has _no_ effect on the attitude you develop about relationships," Kurt said, giving into the urge to slip into sarcasm.

Instead of being immediately repentant, his father's eyes hardened. "I'm sorry to hear that." In those words, Kurt heard all sorts of comments about the cyclical nature of abuse, and he stood up a little straighter, letting his tone turn sharp.

"Having to protect his prematurely-born sister from her own father, being abandoned by said father at a young age, having his mother work long hours and force him to raise his sister… does absolutely nothing to a teenager."

"What's your point? That the kid's been through a lot? Well, so have you, and too much of it has been at his hands."

"My point is that Noah's not a kid," Kurt said, wishing he had planned out his argument a little better in his head before letting himself in. "He's never had the chance to be a kid. He's never gotten the right guidance, or support. Yes, his mother is a wonderful woman, and she tries hard, but her job is to support the family, and Noah raised himself. Do you honestly expect _anyone_ to be able to do a good job of raising themselves after a childhood like Noah's?"

"And I'm sorry for him, but that doesn't mean he should have the chance to date my son."

"It _means _you shouldn't be so harsh on him for things he's done in the past, because he's trying so hard to change now that he finally has the right guidance… or any guidance at all, for that matter." Kurt stuck out his chin, continuing before his father could say anything else. "You know what Glee club has done for me, what it's done for Rachel and Quinn and Finn and every other one of the kids involved. Why can't you believe it's had the same effect on Noah?"

"Because Puck is up against a much harder opponent than you were. You just needed to find acceptance, as did Rachel and Quinn. Finn needed to find somewhere he could grow up and take charge and learn to be a leader. These are things all teenagers deal with, and it makes sense that a high school club can help kids mature. But it can't turn a boy who you claim to be an adult, already set in his ways, from a homophobe to gay."

Kurt's fists tightened at his sides, but he fought to keep his voice steady. "Noah was _never_ a homophobe." Burt raised an eyebrow, reminding Kurt of where he had gotten the habit. "At worst, Noah was a conformist, willing to pick on me to show off to his friends and try to prove his masculinity. I was an easy target because of my flamboyancy. And maybe my sexuality is why some people chose to pick on me, but Noah wasn't one of them."

"How does _why_ he chose to bully you make it any better?" The question sounded rhetorical, but Kurt was going to answer it.

"It doesn't." That got a rather shocked reaction from his dad. "You believe that Noah has gone from homophobic to… biflexible, and you can't believe someone could make that change. But Noah didn't _have_ to make that change, because he was never homophobic. Young, yes, stupid, certainly, and perhaps a touch cruel, yes, but never homophobic. And with time, he's become a better person."

"That doesn't change the fact that he bullied you, or that he's slept with your friends' mothers, or that he's well known for being… promiscuous." His dad's tone suggested that he had a lot nastier ways to phrase that stored up for later in the conversation.

"No, it doesn't, but isn't being 'promiscuous' just a common high school problem that's changeable? Aren't you an example just like that?" Burt was silent. "You've always said that you were a bad kid in high school, and Mom kicked your ass into being a good guy. You've also always told me that I'm just like her, so why can't I have kicked Noah's ass into being a good guy?" Kurt put his hands on his hips for emphasis and waited.

Burt sighed, adjusting his baseball cap. "Every day, you remind me a little more of her, kid."

"Noah has changed, Dad. He stopped giving out 'extras' with his pool-cleaning business a long time ago, and he's given up pool-cleaning altogether since you gave him a job at the garage. He hasn't been 'promiscuous' since the beginning of Glee, because first there was Quinn, then Lauren, and now me. And I've forgiven him for bullying me."

"How?" Burt asked, his gruff tone returning.

"Same way I forgave Finn: by giving him the chance to make it up to me. And he has." Kurt dropped his hands from his hips, feeling less defensive. "He's _trying_ to be a good man, and a good boyfriend." Burt flinched a little at the word. "He's not perfect, I know that, but he's changed a lot, and he deserves a chance."

"He's still a Bulls fan."

"_Dad_."

"What about juvie?"

"He's impulsive," Kurt said with a shrug, because he had never asked Noah about that particular incident, and he didn't care to know. "I've known that from the day that I met him. And he can be an idiot, but he's _my_ idiot."

His father eyed him for a moment, then sighed. "You really care about him, don't you?"

"I love him, Dad." Admitting it out loud, even though he hadn't yet told Noah, was oddly freeing.

"Of course you do," his dad said, readjusting his baseball cap and proving Kurt had also gotten his sarcasm from his father. "I still don't like him."

"I don't expect you to," Kurt said honestly. "I want you to give him a _chance_… and let him back in the house." Kurt hadn't actually planned to follow that rule, but it was worth getting it removed in any case.

"_One_ chance," Burt said firmly, but Kurt smiled excitedly anyway. "He gets _one_ chance, and the moment I hear about him hurting you, I'm going to put him in the ground."

"I must insist this condition not be retroactive…" Kurt said slowly, and his father glared at him. "What? You try getting a self-proclaimed 'badass' into a serious relationship? Kicking someone's ass to get them to be a good guy is hard work!" Burt rolled his eyes. "And I'm sure Mom would agree if she were here right now."

"I think if your mother were here, she'd be too busy kicking my ass to worry about what Puck was doing," Burt grumbled, making Kurt smile.

"She _was_ always on my side."

His father stood up from the chair, gesturing him over. "Come here, kid." Kurt went gratefully, letting his dad hug him tight. "Does that kid know you love him?"

"Not yet," Kurt said as his dad released him. "I was going to go…" He gestured out the door with his thumb.

"Call me if you're not coming home," his dad said firmly, and Kurt nodded, kissing his cheek before leaving.

* * *

><p>Kurt realized his hands were shaking during his drive over to Noah's, but he was determined. The more he thought about it, the more he realized he was an idiot for not having realized before: he loved Noah. He wanted his boyfriend to realize exactly how much he loved him, how much he cared and wanted Noah to feel secure, to realize how Kurt thought of him and why he should think in the same way. There were certain moment Kurt thought Noah didn't need a bigger head, but everyone had their insecurities, and only by digging through his ego had Kurt found Noah's.<p>

The countertenor didn't even hesitate before knocking on the door. However, the answer surprised him. "It's open!" Noah called out from inside.

Pushing on the door confirmed this fact, and Kurt entered the familiar house, closing the door and locking it behind him. "Given your neighbors, isn't it kind of dangerous to leave your door unlocked?" he asked as he fastened the deadbolt.

He heard a sigh from the couch, and turned around. Noah was sprawled out on his couch with a beer and Cheetos, in boxers and an undershirt, watching some kind of boat racing. "I thought you were Santana."

"Why would I be Santana?" Kurt asked, tamping down the instinct to be jealous.

"She's been texting me all night about your little sleepover." Something in Kurt's chest tightened at the misery in Noah's voice, as well as his actual words.

"Then you already know what I'm here to say?"

"Enlighten me anyway," Noah grumbled, and Kurt would have sworn the jock had gotten more sarcastic since they started dating.

The countertenor stole the remote from where it had been thrown on the ground, shutting off the television, and made himself comfortable on the couch. Considering he didn't see any bottles around and Noah's words were perfectly clear, Kurt would guess that he had been nursing that beer for quite a while, but wasn't anywhere near inebriated.

"I want romantic probation to be over," was how he decided to start the conversation, and that got his boyfriend's attention, Noah sitting up and looking over at him. "I trust you, Noah, and while some of those things, like honesty and exclusivity, are just basic conditions of a relationship, you were right this morning. Some were me trying to make you into the perfect boyfriend, and some were me not trusting you to make the right decisions."

"I was an asshole this morning," was Noah's opening comment. "I shouldn't have said that about your dad, or what happened yesterday, or-"

"Let's talk about my dad next, okay?" Kurt asked, cutting him off. "Conditions first."

"This conversation is two-fold?"

"Three-fold, actually," Kurt admitted, feeling his cheeks get warm, and while Noah looked at him curiously, he didn't ask.

"Do I still have to spend time with the Glee girls?" Kurt laughed a little.

"No, you don't. I… they all have faith in you, Noah," Kurt assured him, reaching over and taking his boyfriend's hand. "And since they're all okay with us dating, I hope you won't mind if I go to them for advice every once in a while."

"Of course not," Noah said immediately, lifting Kurt's hand to his mouth and brushing a kiss to his knuckles. "I'm still not sure what I am, sexuality-wise."

"I told you this when you first said that, and it's still true: as long as you're willing to admit you're attracted to me, I don't care. That's always going to be true; the last thing I care about is what you label yourself as."

"And I'm guessing we're still dating?" Noah asked with a cheekily-raised eyebrow.

"That was never a condition, Noah, you were just trying to be cute," Kurt said in his best mock-accusatory voice.

"What about sex?" he asked, and this was the more serious part of the conversation. So, of course, it had to be started by Kurt blushing like crazy. "Come on, princess, use your words."

With his free hand, Kurt pushed lightly at his boyfriend's shoulder. "Forced abstinence was my best attempt to protect myself, but I don't need to protect myself from you. You've proved that to me time and time again," he said, smiling at Noah. "And I can't deny that I enjoyed… what happened yesterday," his face felt supernova-hot, "with the exception of getting interrupted."

"No one enjoys that," Noah muttered.

"It's not that I don't want to have a physical relationship with you, but we need to take things at a slower pace. Because I'm not totally innocent," Kurt was very pointedly avoiding with word 'Blaine,' "but I am still a virgin, and I know you're miles from that."

"How far did you get with him?" Noah asked, as if he could read Kurt's thoughts.

"Just about everything but…" Noah grinned predatorily at him. "Just about everything _standard_," Kurt quickly amended his sentence, "except for…"

"Actual sex, yeah," Noah finished his sentence, and the countertenor resisted the urge to argue with his boyfriend about what counted as 'actual sex' because he knew what Noah meant. "Princess, we can take things as slow as you need, just don't blue-ball me entirely, all right? We can spend months perfecting hand jobs if that's what you want." Kurt blushed redder, but nodded. "Just let me know when you want to up the ante, because I don't want to be pushy." Noah scooted closer, removing the awkward distance between them, and leaned towards him, brushing a kiss just below his ear. "Feel free not to use your words."

Kurt couldn't help the shiver that ran through him, but he pushed Noah away. "Not _now_."

"Right. Two more folds left. Hit me with your best shot, princess."

Kurt rolled his eyes at the bravado. "I talked to my father today, and he's willing to give you a chance."

"How'd you manage that one?" Noah sounded suspicious.

"I reminded him that my mother kicked his ass into being a good person, and I am more than capable of doing the same thing to you," Kurt summarized the conversation quickly, and Noah cracked up laughing, relaxing back against the couch. "Plus, I pointed out why all of his arguments were stupid and how amazing a guy you are."

"That's what you tried to do last time," Noah said, still chuckling a little.

"It worked better when he hadn't just caught me with my pants down," Kurt admitted, not worried about Noah thinking he was blaming sex for his problems anymore. "He still doesn't like you, or our relationship, but he's willing to be a little more open-minded."

"I'm happy for you, princess," Noah said, brushing a kiss to his cheek, and Kurt ignored the implications that Noah still really hadn't cared about his father's opinion. Dads would always be a touchy subject with his boyfriend. "What's the third fold?" Noah asked as he leaned back into his own personal space.

"I love you, Noah," Kurt said before he fully thought the words through, and Noah stared at him in shock.

"What?" Noah sounded scared and hesitant and Kurt shouldn't push him, but he _needed _to say this, even if Noah was hesitant, or scared, or didn't feel the same way.

"You don't have to say it back, I just… I love you and I don't want there to be walls between us and I know this doesn't fix everything, but things are moving in the right direction and…" Kurt trailed off, because Noah looked almost green. "Noah?"

"Fuck," was all Noah said, mostly under his breath and obviously directed more at himself than at Kurt. "I…" Noah couldn't seem to muster any kind of appropriate response.

"You don't have to…" Kurt started to say again, but then Noah was looking at him and Kurt realized, yes, he did. He just couldn't say it. "Do you love me?"

"Fuck," Noah muttered again, "I hate talking about feelings," he said, and that was clearly directed towards Kurt. Kurt didn't stop him, or interrupt him, or tell him he didn't have to answer. He just waited, squeezing his boyfriend's hand gently.

There was a long moment of silence, but Kurt knew if he was the one to break it, he would never forgive himself. So he waited, even though he just wanted to explode because he knew Noah wanted to say 'yes,' to use those three little words and to make everything official.

"Yeah," Noah said finally. "Yeah, I do."

Kurt wasn't ashamed by the way he practically threw himself into Noah's arms, pushing him down onto the couch and kissing the breath out of him. Noah responded eagerly, pulling Kurt down against him and shifting so they were pressed up against each other, so intimately that Kurt could see this going further.

Kurt was out of breath and he was sure he looked like a mess when he finally pulled away, staring down at Noah, his Mohawk gone and his lips swollen and his expression riddled with carefully concealed caring. "I love you," Kurt said again, not caring how breathy or elated his voice sounded.

Noah opened his mouth immediately, and for only a split second Kurt harbored the hope that he was going to say the same thing. Instead, Noah's oh-so-romantic comment was, "Does this mean I get to have sex with you now?"

"Not a chance," Kurt said with an evil grin, leaning down to kiss his boyfriend.

FIN(N)

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Oh, my gosh, guys, this is the end! I considered an epilogue/writing something to wrap up the sex storyline, but after such a long wait and such a long time on the story, I think it ends well here.**

**I always, always, always apologize for taking a super long time, and I am sorry, but I've been off fanfiction for a few weeks due to some personal things I've been going through due to some new stressors in my life and... it's a long story. So, I'm sorry and I finished this up today and yay!**

**THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR STICKING WITH ME THROUGH THIS STORY! It started out as a short little venture and turned into a monster than I could never quite keep up with (as well as being wildly-unplanned), so thank you all for reading this and being so patient. I love all of you guys! Yay! It's done. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and this story :)**

**Songs used/mentioned:  
><strong>'_You are the Music in Me_' from High School Musical 2 (mentioned)  
>'<em>Look with Your Heart<em>' from Love Never Dies

**Reviews are Love!**


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